Frog_22
Making the rounds.
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2017
- Messages
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I don't speak for the first poster, but in my opinion it's too deus ex and changes the tone of the story in a way with which I'm uncomfortable.
At the start of the story it was Taylor's intelligence, grit & determination, and human-level skill that led to success. The wastebin fire was marvelous, and the story stayed human-level even when Hookwolf showed up at Winslow. The principle's office scene was absolutely delightful, the plotline of data analysis vs corporate espionage was very nice, the cliff rescue was marvelous and Greg's victory over Hess was human triumph in the face of terrifying odds.
Introducing Brian in a non-villain situation was nice, as were the introductions of Tammi and Theo. All the conversations, interactions, thoughts and so on were human-level, and the problems were solved with human-level skills. Powers were a factor and nicely mentioned in passing, but there weren't any blatant uses. Up until part 21 it was humans winning because of *their own* skills & abilities.
Then Tracy triggered, Brian uses powers, Theo triggers, Taylor triggers and suddenly it's a thirteen-page parahuman battle. Yes believable escalation, yes dramatic, yes lots of internal dialogue and tension. No to staying at street-level with humans in a parahuman world, but hey - it's Worm and escalation's gonna happen sooner or later. While not what I'd hoped for it's not unexpected so I can cope. Let's see how Taylor escapes from Empire!
Then it turns from 'Taylor and her friends in a desperate battle' to 'Cauldron ex machina'.
Bleh.
Where's the personal triumph in that? What's the point to struggle if Contessa says you're going to win no matter what? The fight becomes meaningless without the risk of loss. Oh, Taylor & Co definitely struggled and felt like they could die, but as a reader I'm looking back at a dozen pages of fight and thinking 'there's no point to reading that, ever again.'
Would I feel the same if there was no Alexandria & Taylor made it to the PRT on her own merits, and the Cauldron Base coda was still there? Possibly. Possibly not, because what really jarred me was Alexandria physically showing up and saying 'you can't do this on your own'. That hurt my concept of what the story's about.