The New Abnormal (My Hero Academia/Celestial Mutation)

[attercop]

I thought that got nerfed this year?

There's also some madman who's managed to set up a sea serpent breeding farm. There is a video on it.

Click to shrink...

Link?

 

[Lagoon12002]

Link?

Click to shrink...

Here you go, enjoy.

View: https://youtu.be/tv9U8MeqhBU?si=hv5m4RqbLgdMAeZ8

 

[MarcusDeGabriel]

His "Quirk" isn't really made for it, but i'd love to see him do something different than most other Inserts and do something other than being a Hero.

With his Programming Quirk and reincarnation knowledge he could crib notes from great games that no longer exist there! Rather than all the Hero slop.

 

[orith]

colossal leap in logic

Click to shrink...

He possessed knowledge of pre-quirk media and instinctively referenced it in ways that a modern person wouldn't, such as using it as an immediate form of reference.

Anyways without those, the idea that someone cloned Yoichi seems more likely.

 

[CosmicBigfoot]

Would make more sense to simply come up with a way for yoichi or zen to have had a child

Click to shrink...

If Toji and Zen were monozygotic twins their DNA would be functionally identical, and only differ based on mutations (both natural and quirk related) over time. Between Zen being three centuries old and having hundreds of quirks I'm sure his DNA looks like a petri dish dropped in the mud at a Burning Man festival, but even with all that their DNA would be close enough that Toji being a twin or a clone are the only logical explanations.

 

[orith]

Toji and Zen were monozygotic twins their DNA would be functionally identical

Click to shrink...

The real question is "would All For One, a man who has never been to school, know that?"

…whenever I want to justify DFO, I usually go with "Inko has Yoichi's eyes and Zen doesn't understand that if he has enough kids with her eventually one that looks sufficiently Yoichi-like will pop-up, because he never took middleschool science and so doesn't understand punnet squares" which is admittedly very contrived and lo-key means that he doesn't think to just bleach Izuku's hair?

Anyways, if Zen's white eye color was the result of cataracts due to malnutrition from him prioritising Yoichi over himself when he was age babbu, and well without knowledge about that kind of thing (which he would have no reason to pick up, even under realistic circumstances; the "siblings will inherit different traits from either parent" thing is obvious to any human being who has observed multiple humans, but many people probably don't know that cataracts exist, and of those that do, knowing that malnutrition can cause them is less common, possibly because there's not much overlap in the "knows what cataracts are" and "at risk of malnutrition" populations) he would probably just chalk it up to "quirk nonsense"

 

[BlankFox]

Honestly? Didn't really like this part, it is 90% nonsense. It doesn't even feel like it moves the story anywhere, just random nonsense for the sake of nonsense because it is mildly humorous. Overall, hope things get back on track soon for some actual plot.

Click to shrink...

Wow a crack fic acting like a crack fic? Thats the whole point it's meant to be silly in a funny way.

 

[Jagganoth]

Wow a crack fic acting like a crack fic? Thats the whole point it's meant to be silly in a funny way.

Click to shrink...

i wouldn't even say its acting like a crack fic, really. (in that the chapter didn't just happen for BLEARGHHH HERES JOKES THAT MEAN NOTHING!) it gives us some more toru toji interactions, shows how effective toji's coding quirk is (going from nothing to a fully fledged if weird 3d dwarf fortress like is fucking insane.) and sets up PBBDCS which is going to come up later.

plus sometimes i like a... i'm not going to say a filler chapter. but one where the characters just hang out and do nothing. it might not be rushing in new characters or plot lines, but its making you connect with the ones already present in the story.

 

[CosmicBigfoot]

Toji Kayama


Toji wasn't really sure when it happened, but he was pretty sure Toru stole his personal autonomy sometime in the past week or so. Considering the fact that it had already been getting strip-mined by both the hospital and Nemuri before then, that was a bit of a problem.

Time spent lounging by himself was now spent coding with Toru, time spent doing old granny calisthenics was now dedicated to pumping iron with Toru, and going by the fact that Nemuri was trying to set up some nepo-baby placement tests at the school she teaches at, there was a nonzero chance his education was about to get Toru'd as well.

In the daily life of Toji, every day was Toru day. Well adjusted people would probably call everything he just thought something lame like "having a social life" and "being invested in hobbies", but Toji knew the score. That invisible gremlin was shanghai'ing his entire life.

As Toji lounged on Nemuri's plush leather couch like an exotic pet, the only thought he could muster at that realization was 'Thank God.'

He knew better than to ever admit it out loud, but almost fifteen years of following along after his shithead of a brother like a shadow did not prepare him for solo-existence in the slightest. Was it healthy to immediately go all in on the first friendship he made with a loud bossy person? Well that bossy nutjob was Toru, so the answer was somehow yes.

Oh no, Toji latched onto a person like an abandoned bird and now he codes for a hobby and goes to the gym four times a week. What a nightmare.

Toji was pretty sure it only counted as codependency when it negatively affected your life, and he was pretty sure that Toru's… everything counted as a positive impact.

Hanging out with her sure as hell beat doomscrolling in a hospital bed. Despite acting like a coked out chimpmunk the only red flag Toru had shown so far was her absolute lack of respect for personal boundries… which sounded worse than it actually was.

It wasn't like she was sneaking into bathrooms or stealing his socks or any other degenerate behavior like that. Toru was just a bit touchy and kinda… had a thing with staring? He wasn't really sure if she even noticed she was doing it, and he was positive nobody else noticed it due to the whole invisibility thing she had going on, but in spite of Toru's parakeet color scheme she tended to give off an awful lot of vulture vibes.

Not that Toji could throw stones on that front. Apparently he gave off cat vibes of all things. He still wasn't sure how to unpack that time Nemuri said she wanted a son, but a cat was fine too while they were filling out the adoption paperwork.

*bzzzzzt* *bzzzzzt* *bzzzzzt*

Oh look, a distraction. Toji already knew exactly what the message was going to say before he checked it, but he was nothing if not a creature of habit.

Self-Help: Toru heat signature detected in trail cameras 1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
Self-Help: Toru heat signature approaching user residence. No declaration of intent to visit detected in recent message history.
Self-Help: Conclusion from context- Surprise visit!!!

Click to shrink...

Never mind, that wasn't a mailbox notification for the GPUs he ordered. Fat assed shame, too. He had been hoping to get that server rack finished sooner rather than later. It was getting a bit difficult to make an assistant bot and a video game with nothing but a laptop.

Also, he needed to rename that derpy bot to something besides Self-Help. That thing was only a help app for the first twelve hours of it's existence, and even that's pushing it.

*bzzzzzt* *bzzzzzt* *bzzzzzt*

Looking down at his phone again, Toji realized that he had zoned out long enough for… sigh, for Self-Help to send him another message string, this time from Toru.

Toru: lemme in!

Click to shrink...

Damn, no need to dump a bucket of purple prose paint over his head. Getting up from his spot on the sofa, Toji softly padded down the hall to the thick piece of wood protecting him from the feral animal that clawed at the other side.

"Toji! Toooooooji! Lemme in! I'm freezing my head, shoulders, knees and toes off out here!" Toji took his sweet time waddling up to the doorway. Toru had demanded enough mutual staring time for him to know her quirk was a bit of a thermal regulator. It was about as useful as a sweater, but hey… he guessed it was something?

Alright, maybe he should hurry and open the door. Speeding up slightly, he managed to penguin march to the front door and swing it open before she used it as a drum set, and whatever sarcastic remark he was ready to pelt at her for swinging by his place with no heads up got decommissioned after one glance at her.

"H-hey Toji! Mind if I use your bathroom? And like, a dozen towels? I'm kinda freezing my bits off out here!"

He just blinked at the sopping wet mess currently fidgeting back and forth on his now soaked welcome mat. "Toru, what the Hell? Did you trip over a fire hydrant or something? Why are you so freaking soaked?"

Toru just giggled at that through clattering teeth, her still dripping duffle bag. "O-oh, funny story. I was walking at the gym a-and-" Watching his friend sneeze like a self-allergic kitten while shivering on his doorstep, Toji realized that he should probably ask her about whatever went down after she stopped freezing her ass off in early December.

"You know what, how about you tell me after you dry off? I'd rather not have you drop dead of hypothermia." Not that she was that frozen over, but he doubted she felt good walking around with about 10lb of ice water sodden clothes hanging off her.

Stepping aside so he wasn't body blocking the doorway, Toji didn't even bother to look at her as he made his way back to his room to grab her something to wear… that probably wouldn't fit her in the slightest.

For some reason she just laughed at that through clattering teeth as she followed after him. "Jeez Toji. I'm not a fabric egg or whatever that saying is. It's like, at least seven degrees Celsius outside! I've handled way worse than that!"

Somehow that didn't make Toji feel any better about his friend shivering on his doorstep. "There's about a dozen or so towels on the top shelf in the bathroom, use as many as you like. I'm gonna go grab you some… I dunno. Pajamas? I'm not really sure if I have anything that'll fit you while your clothes dry off."

Toji tried not to wince as he watched Toru drop the absolutely sodden dufflebag stuffed with waterlogged clothes onto the hardwood floor with a disgustingly wet thud. "Eh, if nothing fits I could always just fall back on my quirk."

That managed to make him snort like a stalled chainsaw. "Toru, if my mom came home to find a nude poltergeist running around the house she would make it her life's mission to make me die of embarrassment."

"That just means we can be poltergeist together!" Pawing at his forehead like a crisis actor in an advil commercial, he could do nothing but sigh as he watched Toru rush off towards the bathroom.

Looking down at the duffle bag that was already well on it's way to turning his hallway into a bog, Toji couldn't even be fucked to ask for permission to touch her nasty swamp loot and unceremoniously shoved it into his kitchen sink before going off to dry up the mess.

How the hell was Toru this soaked? He was pretty sure she would've been less wet if someone shoved her in a pool. "Hey Toru! I know I said it as a joke earlier, but did you actually get blasted by a fire hydrant?"

"What? No! Some jerk with a water quirk got banned from our gym while I was working out and flooded the whole place. Everyone there got super soaked! I'm fine though! Just super cold! And pissed! Super pissed!"

Well, that's probably better than being sad at getting caught up in Aquaman having a fit at the gym. At least she got blasted with water and not lava? "Hey, you want me to cook some soup or something? I'm pretty sure you're supposed to eat something hot when you're cold."

Toru paused just long enough for him to know she was seriously considering taking her dollar store soup as a consolation prize. "… I've had enough liquids for the day!"

Eh, that's fair. Only a psycho would eat Campbell's after going to the gym. Standing up from his spot on the freshly dried floor, Toji tossed the small tree's worth of paper towels in the trash before moving on to step two.

It was time to give a neanderthal pants. For the crime of being a gym washout, she was getting the cookie monster pajamas.

Walking up to the bathroom door, Toji idly prodded the pile of soaking wet clothes sitting by the door with a huff as he knocked on it. "Yo, I've got some clothes that might fit you. Crack open the door a bit and I'll pass em to-" That was about as much as he was able to get out before Toru did what she did best and jumped over his personal boundaries like a knee-high gate at a Travis Scott concert.

Swinging the door wide open without a care in the freaking world, Toru let out a stray "Yoinkers!" and knicked the folded clothes out of his hands with a smile and began to flip them around in her hands like a doctor's office magazine. "OooOOOooOOOoooo!!! These are super soft! Thanks bestie!"

Blinking down at the smiling nudist that was halfway towards qualifying as a grimm's fairy tale monster, Toji just reached out and slowly closed the bathroom door on her, causing her to squeeze herself back into the bathroom with a click of the door handle closing.

"Toru, dude… what the fuck?" Listening to her chuckle through the door, Toji barely withstood the urge to thunk his head against it as he let out a groan. "Why are you so weird?"

She had the gall to laugh at that. "What? You've already seen my everything with your radioactive eye-sotopes. You gotta get climatized to my brand sooner or later, Toji!"

Thunking his head against the door, he let out the wettest, saddest sigh he could muster as he rubbed his head against the door. "Toru. Just because I know everything about your body doesn't mean I fuckin' know what it looks like!"

A few moments of silence passed between him and the door at that before Toru let out a muffled sound of realization through the wood. "… Oh! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…. Woops! How was I supposed to know that?"

"Toru! I get TMI from knowing way too much about people's bodies when I look at them, I don't get freaking 3D models of their nude bodies downloaded into my brain. Did you seriously just spend the past couple months thinking I was just looking at you-"

Toji cut himself off with a startled backpedal as Toru slammed open the bathroom door with a wide smile, looking absolutely shameless as she stood there in her his cookie monster pajamas, the fuzzy pants hastily rolled up several times just to keep from dragging against the ground.

Putting her hands outwards, Toru struck several power ranger poses as she absolutely butchered several languages in a row. "Wah-lah! Viola! Tadah! How do I look?"

She looked like an ipad kid that walked the C- lap in gym glass. "Well you're dry and clothed, so I'd say you're looking your Sunday best."

"It's Saturday." Dude. "But thanks! Sorry for dropping by unannounced, but your place was closer than the train station was and I thought it'd be weird (and cold!) to ride the train while all soaked and sogged up!"

Toji just pawed at the side of his chin as he watched Toru lift up the metaphorical rug and shove literally everything that just happened under it. "Eh, don't worry about it. I'd rather have you lounging around my house than shivering on a metal tube. I'm assuming your phone got busted from the villain attack at the gym?"

God, it always felt so weird to call criminals and crashouts "villains", as if some guy robbing a gas station is on the same level as Dick Dastardly.

"Why would my phone be busted? It was just a few tidal waves of water." Right, he forgot that the tech wasn't actually stagnant and only looked like it came out when Will Smith was still popular. "But if you're offering to give me some super ultra-phone, then file me down for a please and thank you!"

Putting his palms together, Toji formed the universal sign for time out and the more localized sign for "hold the fuck up" before shaking his head. "Bzzzt! Nope. I'm already going all in on the assistant app and the game. If you want a super phone then the game's going on hold."

Grabbing at both sides of her flowing mane of hair, Toru tugged on both fistfuls and let out a low droning wail… that was completely ruined by her forgetting she needed to make a facial expression to go along with it.

"Noooooooooooo! You haven't even streamlined the flora update yet! Come on Toji, the pibbles just discovered drug culture! And not just drug culture, but drug sophistication!" He knew for a fact that Toru was exaggerating. The only thing those damn pibbles had were short-term tobacco profits and generational dust bowls.

Well too bad for Toru, because his infinite free time was currently getting dissected by a little something called obligations. "Sorry dude, I'm kinda busy studying for school. Guess the pibbles are stuck with dusty fields for another day."

Toru perked up the new conversation with both hands, abandoning the pibbles without a second thought. "Wait, you study? But you've been a neet since I met you!"

"… Dude, I'm pretty sure we've only known each other for about two months." Has it really been that long since he met her? Well… he met her about a week into October, and now it was about a week into December so… huh. "In fact, I'm pretty sure I've known you for exactly two months now."

It shouldn't have taken him seeing the look in her eyes to know that string of words was a mistake. "Ahhh! Two month platonic friendship anniversary! You know what you should do to celebrate? Code more Pitbull Prison Simulator! How about an, uhhhhh… friendship mechanic update!"

Should he even reward such a shameless grindset? Well he's an enabler and his alternative is studying ancient Japanese history, and as fun as it was soyfacing at his not-a-kindle every time he got to a Jujutsu Kaisen reference in his history book… he wouldn't actually say no to a distraction.

Idly twirling a stray lock of hair through his hand, Toji thought it over and… "You know what? Sure. The pibbles can learn that love can bloom, even on an opium field."

Toru pumped both fist into the air at that and let out a whoop and turned to frolic off towards the living room. "Yes! If the house always wins, then I'm the whole suburb!"

He just reached out and nabbed her before she could make a break for it. "You know, I just remembered that my kitchen sink is currently stuffed with a duffle bag full of your clothes that still need to be wrung out."

Watching Toru wilt like a well taken care of orchid, Toji moved towards the living room and kind of realized that… this whole situation was probably something he should text his mom about? Maybe? Toji genuinely had no clue if it was normal to text parents about random encounters like this.

Turning back towards the kitchen, Toji shouted over the sound of Toru's squelching laundry. "Hey Toru, do you tell your parents about all the weird shit that happens to you on the daily?"

She didn't even miss a beat with her response. "Only if I see em!"

Well, that's good enough for him. Pulling out his phone, Toji slowly drifted back towards the living room and shot a few texts to Nemuri just to let her know Toru was running amok around the house.

Toji: Heyy, Toru stopped by cuz the gym got turned into a swamp by some crackhead
Mom: Aww, is your buddy alright?
Toji: Yeah, just got soaked. Just thought I should say she was visiting
Mom: Hun, nobody likes a braggart
Toji: huh?
Toji: Nemuri?
Mom:
Toji: Nemuri
Mom:
Toji: MOM!
Mom:
Mom: dw, I know there's nothing going on with you
Toji: Well yeah, Toru's her own month
Mom: Yeah, that too
Toji: …idgi
Mom: And you never will
Toji:
Toji: btw is today a hero week or nah??
Toji: If it's a hero week I'll start slow cooking some kakuni
Mom: Aww, you don't gotta cook for your mom
Mom: Even if you're really good at it
Toji: I'm used to cooking for family, it's fine
Mom: Well as fine as it is, I'll be home in a little bit
Mom: I'm just talking to nezu about some stuff
Toji: Nice
Toji: Lemme know if you feel like cooking or if I can cook
Mom: I'm getting the feeling that you might want to cook some kakuni
Toji: Motherly intuition is scary!
Mom: If you want you can show me how to cook it when I get home?
Toji: Kakuni is like, 10% prep 90% crockpot magic. But yeah, we can cook it together. Sounds nice
Mom: Great! I'll be home soon! Love you!!!
Toji: See you soon. Love you too

Click to shrink...

Feeling the couch suddenly lurch from underneath him, Toji pivoted his head just to see it was only Toru throwing herself onto the other side of it.

"Alrightie, that's done! Now, onto the real important business… you're studying?" Well that was less of a question and more of a statement, but he got what she was trying to ask.

"Yeah, I'm studying basically everything besides languages, computer science, and world history at the moment. Me and Nemuri had a family discussion about what I wanted to do, education wise."

For some reason Toru just scrunched her eyebrows up at that. "Do you mean that as in she sat you down, told you it was time to study, and asked you what school you wanted to aim for?"

Oh look, here comes his turn to scrunch up his brow. "What? No. I mean she did sit me down and tell me it was time to get back on the saddle, but we talked over which classes I wanted to focus on first, which ones I already felt secure in, what kind of education I wanted…"

Should he even be talking about this conversation with Toru? This was kinda getting into real feelings territory.

Too bad for him, because she actually looked super invested in the current topic. "What do you mean by that? Like, what kind of college courses you were planning on taking?"

"I guess we talked about that when we went over higher education? I'm not really planning on going to one, but we floated a few I might be interested in down the line. I was more distracted over more immediate options."

Toru just nodded at that, halfway lost in thought. "Huh. You know, speaking of distracted... maaaaybe I shouldn't be distracting you with pibbles and programs!"

He couldn't help but chuckle at the absurdity that was Toru. "Seriously? You're not worried about flashing me but you'll start sweating if my grades start to slip? What are these cram school priorities?"

She couldn't even be bothered to pretend she ever felt a crumb of shame. Not that she'd do a very good job of it, her facial expressions were usually pretty hit or miss. "I regret nothing! Public decency is just a concept invented by the shame industry!"

Toji was starting to regret something. "Toru, dude… can you not? I'd rather not catch allegations, or worse, Nemuri's teasing."

Instead of saying 'Of course I'll stop running around naked.' like a member of society that's never had to wear an ankle bracelet, Toru instead chose the slightly more fringe path of laughing in his face.

"No can do, Toji! I'm gonna be a pro hero soon, and that means you seeing me in my work uniform is basically inevitable. And by work uniform I mean nude."

Toji wouldn't have been surprised if he had actual math calculations floating around his head as he connected the dots together. "But… if I can't see your suit, wouldn't I only see whatever's sticking out of the suit instead of through the suit?"

It was Toru's turn to get absolutely baffled by what he was saying. "What suit? Are you finally having a translation error? Uhh… how do I say this plainly? ...hmm…. My hero costume is I'm a nudist! Did that translate correctly?"

He was already checked out of the conversation and halfway through messaging Self-Help before she was even finished speaking. "…. Yeah. I think I get it now..."

Toji: Oi spyware, did you catch the conversation?
Self-Help: Are you asking if I am still connected to the home appliances?
Toji: Well that was basically a yes, so good enough. Can you tell what I want to ask from the context of the conversation?
Self-Help: Would you like to search for nude beaches near you?
Toji: Never, no. Discard that option and try using context clues again.
Self-Help: Would you like to go to a clothing store?
Toji: No. You are getting closer though.
Self-Help: Would you like to search for professional support gear manufacturers and quotes?
Toji: That is the correct context. You are doing a very good job!
Self-Help: Thank you!

Click to shrink...

"Who's Self-Help?" Oh right, he forgot he was kind of in the middle of a Toru-grade crashout. Lightly prodding her back with a few well placed elbows, Toji tried to think about how to say 'I made google if it was a guess engine instead of a search engine.'

"Self-Help isn't a person, it's that health app I said I was gonna make a while back and never got around to. I needed a bunch of actual information to feed it so it'd actually know what kind of advice to give, and then I kinda realized that between the bot I made to scrape the internet for legit info and the bot that was meant to read accurate information I was basically halfway towards making an AI content farm and doubled down on the idea."

For some reason that just made Toru side-eye his phone with a wide eyed grimace. "Jeez Toji, first the Wcdonalds obsession and now an AI? You're really living up your American roots, huh?"

Toji just clicked his tongue at that. "Rude. And it's not actually an AI. The thing is basically a chat bot with pattern recognition. I tried basing it off the human brain since our meat's pretty efficient and I'm stuck with a laptop, but it didn't really work out." Here's hoping his mail got here soon.

That actually managed to calm Toru down pretty quickly. "Oh, you're just playing around with a neural network! Dang it, Toji! Why'd you have to call it an AI and make my heart race? I thought my bank account was about to get liquidated to go buy car stocks!"

He only had one question to that… well, one question worth asking at least. "What the heck's a neural network?"

Oh look, the baffled look is back. Must've forgotten it's keys. "Uh… a neutral network is a computational model that's built to mimic how brains function. AKA, basically what you just said. I'm pretty sure they were mostly used for mass surveillance in the vigilante era."

Huh, no shit? "Dang, that's cool. The based off brains bit, I mean. Not the surveillance thing. I just based it off the brain because I can see how stupidly efficient at processing and power usage."

Toru just kept staring at his phone. "I'm pretty sure neural networks are infamous for being resource hogs."

"How do you even know all this stuff?" Slowly turning her head towards him like a rust-metal doll, Toru slowly smiled at him and fluttered those giant fluffy eyeball wipers she called 'eyelashes' at him.

"I go to computer science class. You know, that thing you're skipping because you're a cheaty cheater who cheats at life."

He just threw a hand in the air at that. "I'm not really sure what to say besides skill issue. Don't human brains only eat about a skull's worth of space and a light bulb's worth of electricity? I'm honestly embarrassed I even need to build a small server just to speed Self-Help up."

Toru let out a low hum as she squinted directly into his eyes. "You… you didn't base the AI off of your own brain, right? This whole convo is giving me 'fifteen minutes into a horror movie' vibes."

He just shook his head at that. "Nah, that one's basically impossible." For some reason diagnosis didn't work on himself unless he really pushed it, and usually all that did was cause a feedback loop of him watching his cortisol levels rise from the sight of how high they are.

Feeling his phone buzz in his hands, he looked back down at the screen as Toru turned on the TV with a sigh of relief and just kept chatting away to him.

Self-Help: There are currently 7 registered Professional Support gear manufacturer's located in your area. Quotas are unavailable due to all Support gear manufacturers practicing omakase
Toji: Please provide context for the term "omakase"
Self-Help: Omakase is a Japanese word meaning "I'll leave it up to you", derived from the Japanese "to entrust". It is most commonly used at Japanese restaurants as a form of gourmet manufacturing
Toji: That statement sounds off. Please review context and make sure all information is correct.
Self-Help: My apologies. It appears that gourmet is a food-related noun. "Specialist" would have been a context-correct noun.
Toji: Thats sounds less wrong. So support manufacturers dont offer quotes?
Self-Help: Correct! The Bluebook guide has said that "few formal manufacturing experiences are as revered or as intimidating as omakase".
Toji: What is the wait time for a consultation?
Self-Help: The average wait time for a reservation with a five star support manufacturer is six months. Would you like me to make a reservation at a certain location?
Toji: That literally isn't enough time. Expand the search to cover the entire country. I don't need a five star gundam suit i just need to see if its possible to give this gretchin some invisible pants
Self-Help: Disregarding previous search query. Now searching for hole in the hall garages with unbeatable prices and unforgettable contraptions!

Click to shrink...

Feeling something lightly prod at the side of his ribs, Toji quickly ripped his gaze away from his phone and looked to his side at Toru, who had somehow managed to turn his lap into a leg rest as she laid across the entire couch like an afghan hound.

"You doing alright? You kinda zoned out for a bit there." Ah, woops. Taking a quick peek at the TV, he noticed she was already about halfway through the first episode about the dozenth friggin show about Captain Superlander himself.

"Yeah, I'm good. Just got a bit distracted by something and missed the first bit. Mind giving me a run down on what the show's about?" And by 'what's it about' he actually meant 'what kind of villains is it about beating up', because this world's entertainment industry only knew how to make one type of show.

In other words, absolutely nothing had changed.

Passing his laptop to him without looking away from the TV, Toji decided to make the best of his situation and just laid it down across her legs. If a dollar store AI was his greatest invention, then the second greatest one would be the Toru-table.

"How have you never seen All Might: Liberation? It's sooooo good! They first started making it when he was still helping free Belgium-" What? "-But he saved the capital before they finished animating the first season so they made the entire second season a prequel about him returning to Japan."

That was enough to get Toji to slowly look up from his screen to stare at the cheery cartoon trying it's best to burn itself onto his TV's screen. "You're telling me they animated this show about him defusing an active terror crisis… while he was defusing the crisis?"

What the hell would they have done if All Might failed and the capital got blown up? Post a twitter apology? Maybe Toji was just missing something here, because this sort of sounded like making a feel-good movie based of the Space Shuttle Challenger and releasing it a day before launch.

At least Toru seemed to enjoy the thought. "Yes! Isn't that so… so… fuckin' based?!" Hearing Toru belt that of all things out in broken English wasn't on his bingo card for the day, but he'd take the free spot.

"Yeah, he's a real Giga-Chad. Literally. So do you want me to just try winging that friendship mechanic idea, or do you want to focus on bug-fixing first?"

Letting out a light hum to herself, Toru began to idly bounce her legs before he karate chopped his table back into compliance. "Hmm… how about bug mechanics first? There's a lot of em, but they're all pretty small so I guess it's more like a lottle. I think the biggest one I found is dead bodies counting as fertilizer after any percentage of decay. Blood also still counts as water, so if too many pibbles died the biome would changes into a swamp. You miiiiight also want to lower how much bonemeal babies drop. Also, I noticed that if you launch a cactus every pin becomes-"

Zoning out, Toji started to idly carve away at the game as Toru continued to switch between talking about the game and the show. It was a damn shame that Toru was the one wearing fuzzy pajamas and laying on the couch, because he could really go for a nap right about now.

… Why did Toji feel like he was forgetting something important?

"-and then All Might just laughed and whistled so hard the villain got sent flying through the- Oh! Hello there, Ms. Kayama!"

Slowly looking up from his laptop still balanced on Toru's legs, Toji stared into the eyes of his grinning mom as she stood in the living room doorway with a bag of groceries in one hand and her phone in the other.

He didn't need to listen to Nemuri speak to know the heckling from this moment was going to carry well into the next year.

---

AN:
Here's a very light chapter, mostly just trying to get back into the groove of writing. Sickness, heat waves, IRL shenanigans… May into June has not been good for the creative process, lol. Next chapter's already partially completed so hopefully I can get it out sooner rather than later.

At first I was going to end the chapter with a POV of Nemuri and Nezu talking, and then I realized it's been about a month, everything they were gonna talk about's already been established (or can be guessed), and the chapter's basically finished. Might as well ship it out.

Also I'm really awful with time scales for some reason so if you see any contradicting dates that's my bad.

 

[SiegfriedisPower]

as fun as it was soyfacing at his not-a-kindle every time he got to a Jujutsu Kaisen reference in his history book

Click to shrink...

I love JJK! I wish history was real and everything wasn't invented last Thursday.

 

[Lumiere_DB]

Thank you for the chapter.

 

[Skyruner]

@CosmicBigfoot Is my favorite user of free will and writing please don't die

 

[bambache]

Professional gremlin Nemuri going to be wondering aloud about how Toji and Toru did not invite her to their wedding?

 

[lucyna88]

Toru and Toji? Hmmm... I ship it.

 

[MarcusDeGabriel]

I'll be honest, i'm still holding out hope he manages to accidentally seduce Nemuri.

 

[krumpwoman69]

I'll be honest, i'm still holding out hope he manages to accidentally seduce Nemuri.

Click to shrink...

I'm fine either way. At least he won't get sent to the FriendZone (that's an actual location in Regular Show, you can get sent there if you're too afraid to confess your feelings and got no game)

 

[MarcusDeGabriel]

I'm fine either way. At least he won't get sent to the FriendZone (that's an actual location in Regular Show, you can get sent there if you're too afraid to confess your feelings and got no game)

Click to shrink...

Regular Show was great.

 

[Jagganoth]

thanks for the chapter big dawg, sorry to hear you were sick!

 

[Phantom Thief Of Hearts]

Toji wasn't really sure when it happened, but he was pretty sure Toru stole his personal autonomy sometime in the past week or so. Considering the fact that it had already been getting strip-mined by both the hospital and Nemuri before then, that was a bit of a problem.

Time spent lounging by himself was now spent coding with Toru, time spent doing old granny calisthenics was now dedicated to pumping iron with Toru, and going by the fact that Nemuri was trying to set up some nepo-baby placement tests at the school she teaches at, there was a nonzero chance his education was about to get Toru'd as well.

In the daily life of Toji, every day was Toru day. Well adjusted people would probably call everything he just thought something lame like "having a social life" and "being invested in hobbies", but Toji knew the score. That invisible gremlin was shanghai'ing his entire life.

Click to shrink...

Wake up, MC-kun! That gremlin (Toru) wants to ruin your single man freedom.

Also, he needed to rename that derpy bot to something besides Self-Help. That thing was only a help app for the first twelve hours of it's existence, and even that's pushing it.

Click to shrink...

I wonder if Bot-chan is an Expy, and if so, who is she?.

I'm gonna go grab you some… I dunno. Pajamas? I'm not really sure if I have anything that'll fit you while your clothes dry off."

Click to shrink...

In a situation like this, Japanese tropes dictate that you should give her one of your shirts until her clothes dry... or if you want something that doesn't have so much fanservice and doesn't make you feel like you're human scum desperate for any female contact, give Toru a tracksuit.

Toru. Just because I know everything about your body doesn't mean I fuckin' know what it looks like!"

Click to shrink...

So you know everything about Toru's body .

 

[BloodFartMoon]

"Why would my phone be busted? It was just a few tidal waves of water." Right, he forgot that the tech wasn't actually stagnant and only looked like it came out when Will Smith was still popular. "But if you're offering to give me some super ultra-phone, then file me down for a please and thank you!"

Click to shrink...

I mean.... it is stagnant though, literally nothing changed about humanities tech in fucking 200 years outside of 2 or maybe 3 sectors, that being the Quirks sector and thus very specific parts of Biology related industries

Most notably excluding Medicine. Like cmon 200 years and they couldnt fix Ingeniums Legs? Cant give All Might new cloned organs?

Still using Diesel and other fossil fuels! Cyberpunk figured this shit out with CHOOH2 and MHA isnt nearly as distopian as that verse!

 

[CosmicBigfoot]

I mean.... it is stagnant though, literally nothing changed about humanities tech in fucking 200 years outside of 2 or maybe 3 sectors, that being the Quirks sector and thus very specific parts of Biology related industries

Most notably excluding Medicine. Like cmon 200 years and they couldnt fix Ingeniums Legs? Cant give All Might new cloned organs?

Still using Diesel and other fossil fuels! Cyberpunk figured this shit out with CHOOH2 and MHA isnt nearly as distopian as that verse!

Click to shrink...

MHA tech is really interesting because they can build flying cities and make iron man suits but they're also all still driving 2006 nissan altimas and using flip phones. The only reasonable explanation for this massive tech gulf (to me at least) is that the entire world is like those millennials that buy $600 emulators that are built to look like an old game consoles just for the sake of going on a nostalgia binge. Also I-Island keeps poaching scientists to work on quirk tech. Their current tech level is kinda funny because it's simultaneously "we can colonize mars in a year if we felt like it" and "we couldn't even land on the moon if we wanted to".

The medical field being completely scuffed is just the plot needing to plot. I know the canon reason why it's so scuffed is because everyone having a quirk makes them different on a fundamental level, but I'm self-aware enough to know that the only reason they can't just fix nerve damage or clone some organs is because the plot would shatter if they did.

 

[Alessandro-B]

MHA tech is really interesting because they can build flying cities and make iron man suits but they're also all still driving 2006 nissan altimas and using flip phones. The only reasonable explanation for this massive tech gulf (to me at least) is that the entire world is like those millennials that buy $600 emulators that are built to look like an old game consoles just for the sake of going on a nostalgia binge. Also I-Island keeps poaching scientists to work on quirk tech. Their current tech level is kinda funny because it's simultaneously "we can colonize mars in a year if we felt like it" and "we couldn't even land on the moon if we wanted to".

The medical field being completely scuffed is just the plot needing to plot. I know the canon reason why it's so scuffed is because everyone having a quirk makes them different on a fundamental level, but I'm self-aware enough to know that the only reason they can't just fix nerve damage or clone some organs is because the plot would shatter if they did.

Click to shrink...

At this point I'm convinced someone (AFO) interfered in the advancement of tech to cause this. (I bet he regret doing that when he got turned into his 'faceless' state.)

 

[orith]

I know the author hates Bakugo (and Deku) but the idea of either of those is really funny, because BakuToji would infuriate AFO, and TojiDeku is dubiously selfcest by proxy? In Everlong, plausibly Yoichi straight up got yoinked out of OFA, but he's got his own memories of the modern AU in this one, so probably the OG Yoichi is still around, to later ponder twin-to-twin transfusion syndrome and also cloning.

 

[TheDanny]

Toru had demanded enough mutual staring time for him to know her quirk was a bit of a thermal regulator. It was about as useful as a sweater

Click to shrink...

How…how does that work exactly? Her quirk works by bending the visible light around her body, I don't see how that would have enough of an effect on the heat to act like an insulator

"Toru. Just because I know everything about your body doesn't mean I fuckin' know what it looks like!"

Click to shrink...

This is what she looks like, Toji.

Spoiler

It's December after all.

She looked like an ipad kid that walked the C- lap in gym glass.

Click to shrink...

Not my gym rat Toru!

Bzzzt! Nope. I'm already going all in on the assistant app and the game. If you want a super phone then the game's going on hold.

Click to shrink...

That seems like an odd contrast, the game seems to take much more effort when compared to the jury rigged VI.

Ahhh! Two month platonic friendship anniversary!

Click to shrink...

Spoiler

"You… you didn't base the AI off of your own brain, right? This whole convo is giving me 'fifteen minutes into a horror movie' vibes."

He just shook his head at that. "Nah, that one's basically impossible." For some reason diagnosis didn't work on himself

Click to shrink...

"Nah, I based it off of yours. That's why it's so stupid rn."

 

[CosmicBigfoot]

How…how does that work exactly? Her quirk works by bending the visible light around her body, I don't see how that would have enough of an effect on the heat to act like an insulator

Click to shrink...

It's a 80/20 split of me lowering her chance of freezing to death in the winter and the fact that light is energy (well, carries energy) so it wouldn't be much of a stretch to imagine it has a slight absorption/retention rate for the heat from the energy all the light gives off. If her quirk can get overloaded from light then that means it actually takes in more than it reflects, so there's that.

This is all cope to justify giving a shivering blorbo a forever sweater.

That seems like an odd contrast, the game seems to take much more effort when compared to the jury rigged VI.

Click to shrink...

It's less about difficulty and more just him putting his foot down on how much he'll let Toru yank his schedule. He's basically saying he already has a major personal project he isn't dropping and the major shared project with her. If her phone was actually busted or if she begged he would've folded like wet cardboard, but she didn't so PBPD won the Toru vote.

 

[Mortal Sage]

MOOOOAAAARRR. Give me MOOOOORRREE!!! Where are the new chapters!!!!!!!

 

[Laath-]

This is really good.

Watched.

 

[CosmicBigfoot]

Toji Kayama


Toji knew he was a pretty forgetful person, which was kinda ironic considering one of his powers was remembering certain things very well. Unfortunately for his brain folds, a venn diagram of the things he remembered and the things he wanted to remember were two circles on separate pieces of paper… stabled to opposite walls on the far sides of the room.

And that was the score when he was wide awake. When he was half-asleep he uh… uhhhh…. What was he building up to in his own head again?

"Pspspspsps~ Yukidaruma! Okiru jikanda yo! Pspspspsps~" Oh, right. That. Slowly rolling over like a turtle stuck sunny-side up on the freeway to stare at the source of the noise, Toji just blinked up at the sadistic demon that stood in the center of his doorway with a jagged smile.

"… Five more minutes. Lemme neetmax for five more mins…" He was pretty sure she didn't understand a word he just said, considering the fact that it was slurred out while half-asleep in the wrong language by someone with their face half-buried in a pillow.

Judging by the fact that her response was to walk into his room, rip his curtains open, and then pull his blankets off his bed like a fed looking for a teacup terrier to waffle stomp, he'd say that was probably the case.

Letting out a light hiss at the sunlight streaming through the window, Toji quickly gave up on the "beg for mercy" strategy and went for plan B: wrapping a giant worm plushie around his face and burying himself in the center of his bed like a tick.

Unfortunately for him, that didn't stop his mom from belting out another rendition of her Nippon battle cry.

"Pspspspsps~ Okiru jikanda yo! Pspspspsps~" It was probably a good thing Toji was too sleepy to even understand a word she was saying, it made ignoring her demands waaaay easier for him to accomplish.

"My language subscription expired, gimmie five more minutes to renew it…" Nemuri must've not spoken English and just assumed he surrendered to her assault on his bedroom; instead of continuing her assault on his existence she instead settled for ruffling his hair and strutting out of the room.

Well, he assumed she strutted out. That was her main method of transportation after all.

He wasn't sure exactly how long he laid face first on his bed pretending sunlight was a foreign concept, but it was long enough for Nemuri to find a whole new way to bulldoze his morning.

"Pspspspsps!" ~SkSkSkSkSkSkSkSk~ "Pspspspsps!"

… What the hell? Was Nemuri playing with maracas out there?! Pulling himself upright with a defeated groan and smashing his palms against his eyes until they made that classic squelching noise, Toji lethargically kicked his feet into the nearby slippers and trodded out to do a welfare check on his mom's mental health.

Good news, his mom was not playing with maracas at the ass crack of… late-ish morning. Bad news, she was shaking a box of off-brand cheez-its while still making that weird Pspspspsps~ noise to the air at large, and only stopped when she spotted him round the corner in all his hungry worm and cookie monster merch clad glory.

Worse news, she suddenly had a camera in her hand, and was aiming it straight towards him. He didn't need to be a low-polling politician to know what that meant. "Ohio Toji!"

Blinking the spots out of his eye from the flash, Toji quickly rebooted the part of his brain that processed language and realized he might've misheard a thing or two. Letting out a hollow chuckle, Toji just dragged his feet across the floor to the nearest chair and plopped himself down at the table facing his mom, who was already dressed and ready for the day.

For some reason she was dressed like a bank clerk at a downtown branch instead of her usual home fit of 'giant ass t-shirt and maybe some gym shorts', but Toji had read enough 1984 to know he shouldn't rat his mom out to the fashion gestapo… even if she was their biggest opp, both past and present.

"Is it a good morning? You look like you're about to attend a funeral for someone you have to pretend to care about. I can't say I like the vibe."

Nemuri just blew a raspberry at that and continued to take pics of him in his jammies with the worm plushie still wrapped around his neck. He was sure he wouldn't regret this photos existing a half-decade from now. Definitely.

"It'll be a cold day in Hell when I start taking fashion advice from a teen representing Sesame Street, Snowie." Toji was pretty sure being the main supplier of his wardrobe automatically revoked her ability to talk shit about his clothes.

"Well it's already December, so…" Shrugging up at Momuri, Toji watched as she rolled her eyes at him and cranked open the fridge to grab a big jar of… something from it. Considering the fact that he patrolled the kitchen six times a day, Nemuri managing to sneak something in was kinda impressive.

Either that or he forgot about it?... Nah, probably not. "So I don't want to sound like Debbie Downer, God bless her miserable soul, but uh… why the hell did you bonzai rush my room at… 9AM?"

Pausing as she set up the rice cooker, Nemuri quirked a brow at him from across the kitchen and gestured to the clock. "Because you went back to bed when I woke you up the first time?"

"Right, I remember that." Toji lied, nodding at her as she prowled to the other side of the kitchen. "But that doesn't really explain why I'm getting woken up in particular."

For some reason his mom was still staring at him like he asked something stupid. "Snowball, today you're doing testing at U.A. Did you seriously forget about it?"

"… No." Nemuri began to rub her forehead at that, so he doubled down on his American instincts of 'say random shit until you're correct'. "I remember you telling me that we're doing a… uhh… cram school battle royale?"

Shaking her head down at his slumped form, Nemuri chortled as she continued putting together what looked like prison sludge and smelled like a fermented car bomb. "Sorry brat, but the cram school battle royale isn't until February. What you're doing is some run of the mill placements… and maybe some other things?"

Was his daily schedule being written by Oda? "Mind patching me in on what the 'other things' are?"

Feeling his phone vibrate in his pocket, Toji moved to check it already half-expecting an early-bird text from Toru. Instead it was just a Selfie text. So in a way, basically a Toru text.

Selfie: I have done it! [dancing emoji string]
Selfie: No task is too tough!
Selfie: No mount is too colossal!
Selfie: All searches bear fruit!
Toji: Thank you for the haiku, Selfie.
Selfie: (✿◡‿◡) You are very welcome! (◡‿◡✿)

Click to shrink...

Nemuri, not realizing that his attention was already three thoughts past his last question, just kept talking about old news. "Oh, just some specialized testing due to your quirks. You might qualify for a few programs between your peepers or your jeepers, so I thought it'd be best to check it before the February rush starts up."

What the hell were his jeepers supposed to be? Feeling his phone vibrate in his hand a second time, Toji looked back down at the screen and kept texting Selfie.

Toji: So what have you done?
Selfie: Right! I have found a hole in the hall garage with unbeatable prices and unforgettable contraptions!
Selfie: At least, that's what their website says! The reviews are also very hopeful!
Selfie: If I were to make a word cloud of all the common words used in the reviews, the four largest ones would be "Genius, loud, fast, smelly".
Toji: Oh right, I did ask for that a few days back. Are you sure they're legit?
Selfie: They are very legitimate! Their certifications and permits are, at least. Would you like me to send them an email asking if they can make a quirk-congruent hero suit?
Toji: Idk, now that I'm thinking about it this all feels kinda silly. Didn't you say this was a hole in the wall garage? I'm not sure if some guy trying to work their blue collar job would appreciate some teen emailing them for a quote they can't even pay up-front.
Selfie: They are actually a girl!
Toji: Oh yeah, the gender was what I was hung up on.

Click to shrink...

"Aww, already bragging to your pal about doing some testing at U.A.?" Pausing his typing, Toji looked away from his phone to shoot Nemuri a certified fluoride stare at that.

"Why would I be bragging about doing placement tests at some Ivy league high school? It's not like I'm actually going to actually be attending super-cram school or anything."

Nemuri took a slow sip from her coffee mug at that. "Well, if you aren't bragging about getting a tour of the best High School in the entire country then what are you two talking about?"

Were moms spiritually obligated to snoop in the most obvious ways possible? Toji wouldn't know, he was raised on that Matilda grindset. You know what? It probably beat out whatever he and Zen had for a morning routine, so it couldn't be that bad.

"I'm not talking to Toru about anything… I'm talking to Selfie about Toru. Specifically her nonexistent wardrobe. I'm trying to get her an invisible suit to wear so she doesn't freeze to death while being a weirdo."

Glancing at Nemuri, Toji had to suppress a wince at seeing her leaned back on the counter with both elbows propped up, hitting the 'I crash three leased Mustang's a year' pose as she grinned at him.

"Aww, look at you worrying for your bestie. Are you sure you don't want to let your friend run wild while you still have the excuse? She can probably get an invisible suit after she enrolls in a hero school. Their budgets can be pretty generous when making suits the students need to wear."

God dammit, he knew talking to Nemuri about trying to wean Toru off nudism was a bad idea. "Well school doesn't really start until spring, and this is kind of a winter problem… also, I'm not even sure if making her a suit is possible. This is kinda just a 50/50 mix of me chasing a stray thought to the ends of the Earth while doubling as a vague Toru domestication attempt. She's already squirrely, I can't have her being bear naked as well."

"Oh? Your friend's squirrely? Is that why she wants to climb me like a tree?" Toji got shaken out of bed for this conversation?!

Dragging his hands down his face as if that would manage to wipe away the residual memory of this moment, Toji let out a rattling moan as Nemuri cackled at the sight of his good morning dying on the kitchen floor.

"Please… please tell me Toru didn't try to hit on you. I really don't want to have to reenact Mice and Men with her. I won't spoil the ending, but all I'll say is I won't be the one playing Lennie."

Dammit, that only made Nemuri start laughing even harder. "Pfft! No need to get territorial, you alley cat. That's just my intuition acting up. See- hearing her keep tripping over herself around me certainly didn't help her any."

Toji didn't really know what to say to hearing Toru got caught spilling spaghetti everywhere by his mom. Feeling his phone vibrate in his hand for the third time now, Toji wasted no time jumping face-first onto the distraction.

Selfie: Alright, the email has been sent!
Toji: ffs selfie
Toji: I was being sarcastic!
Selfie: How was I supposed to know? You didn't put /s at the end!
Toji: You don't put /s in texts, you gotta feel it out on vibes and aura
Selfie: Noted! Also, I have received an update on the email!
Toji: Jeez, that fast? I guess even mom and pop shops have automated messaging in the 23rd​ century.
Selfie: There are no mothers or fathers involved in this shop. And the response is all natural, non-GMO.
Toji: How can you tell?
Selfie: Like recognizes like! And I do not recognize this style of communication.
Toji: Fair. So what's their reply say? I'm not really sure what I'm expecting for a response tbh
Selfie: They said they need to meet you in person to run numbers and vet you.
Toji: I guess that makes sense? I remember you saying these Support shop places have a big wait time, so just pencil me in for the closest time slot. I can just cancel it if I get second thoughts.
Selfie: Right! Hatsume says they are available tomorrow at any time.
Toji: Wtf? Did a project suddenly fall through on them?
Selfie: I will ask them.
Toji: No
Toji: Don't do that
Selfie: My apologies, I already sent the messages.
Toji: bruh
Selfie: Good news! They say a project actually did fall through! And rather explosively, at that.
Toji: Is that good news? I mean I guess it got me an appointment early.
Toji: Is it good to be thankful of an accident?
Selfie: I'm not here to explain morality, I'm just here to send emails and moogle recipes for chicken parmesan! (◕ᴗ◕✿)
Toji: I swear, sometimes you take the words right out of my mouth.

Click to shrink...

Placing his phone back on the table before he could misplace it, Toji had to pinch the bridge of his nose to fight off a headache at Selfie's tact. At least, that's what he thought until he finally inhaled through his nose and-

"What the hell are you cooking over there? It smells like you tried mixing beer flavored peanut brittle and swiss cheese together in a rusted out cauldron."

Nemuri just smiled at hearing that, like the lunatic that she was. "I'm making natto for breakfast! I'm surprised you can't recognize what natto is off the smell alone. I'm guessing from the look on your face that they don't have it in the States?"

Toji was too busy massaging the bridge of his nose to fight off a phantom migraine to pay attention to what exactly she was saying. "It smells like something a recovering alcoholic would eat while going through a nostalgic phase for the bad old days."

"That means it's good natto! It's a bit of an acquired taste, but between your whole thing with food and how much you've been working out with your buddy I'm sure you'll love it!" Toji opened his mouth to ask her to elaborate on what the heck she just said, and immediately got sidetracked by what he was looking at.

"Mom… this looks like macaroni and cheese if you replaced the pasta with beans. I thought Japan was supposed to have good food. Do the British know about this?"

Nemuri just golf clapped with glee and took a celebratory photo of him at his lowest point… in the last month, at the very least. "Aww, I knew you would love it!"

He was getting rage-baited for breakfast.

Even worse, the rage bait tasted good. Well, not good. But it was triggering something in his skull that was halfway positive. It kinda gave off the same mental energy that eating Mcdonalds after being sick for a week straight would slam you with.

He could do without the odd look his mom was now shooting him though. If she didn't want him eating his breakfast she shouldn't have made it for him. "You know, I wasn't actually expecting you to take to natto. It's a bit of an acquired taste."

Shrugging up at her, Toji began to talk in-between bites. "I'm not gonna lie, it kind of tastes terrible. But… eh. It's kind of that nostalgic type of terrible. Like the smell of a mildew covered basement in the summer."

That just made her odd look mature into a concerned one. "Snowie, you know you don't actually need to eat the natto, right? I can make you a regular breakfast in less than five minutes. It's really not a big deal."

As cool as a breakfast that didn't taste like musky fermented cheese sounded, Toji was kind of already halfway through the primordial slop so he might as well just finish the whole bowl. "Don't worry, I'm hungry enough to be fine with this."

Nemuri slowly scooted forward and reached for his bowl of slop at that. He lightly slapped her hand away and kept eating.

"Yikes! The pound forgot to tell me you came with food aggression." Letting out a nervous chuckle at her own mid-ass joke, Nemuri jokingly waved her hand back and forth as if she just slapped a hot stove. "You know, you have been eating a lot lately. Maybe you're gearing up for a growth spurt?"

Toji was almost positive Nemuri didn't actually know how guys worked and was a certified fraud. "Mom, I'm already like, 5'10". Or 180cm in regular-speak. I'm pretty sure that's the best I'm going to get. Hoping for anything more than that would just be greedy."

He could tell he said something stupid from the look his mom shot him. "You still have a few more years of growth left in you, and you did just get out of the hospital for being… well, you're health is a lot better now! It wouldn't be the strangest thing in the world if your body took a few extra months to adjust to the new bill of health before kicking off a big growth spurt. Do you have any heteromorphic quirks in your family tree?"

Considering the fact that he currently ranked on the same level as a displaced gleep-glorp alien on the 'Joe Schmoe to Skinwalker' scale, he was going to say no to that one.

"I am positive I have no secret giants in my family tree. If I do then they're doing a really good job hiding from the world."

Nemuri still looked pretty unconvinced at that as she finished cooking another set of breakfast. "Hmm… I think I'll still set up another doctor's appointment, just to be sure."

Oh look, his first non-capeshit related visit to the doctor's. Yay.

Finishing up her own breakfast at the stove, Nemuri quickly filled two plates with a full English spread before placing the smaller of the two before him. Considering the fact that he just ate an entire bowl of rice and beans, that was probably still a bit much even for his rapidly growing appetite.

"Anyways! Enough about your imminent growing pains. How's that discussion with your… AI coming along? Any luck in getting a pair of invisible pants for Toru, or did you finally give up and accept that Free Willy belongs in the ocean?"

Toji was positive there was a vein dancing along the side of his forehead at that. "I can't even tell if these are euphemisms at this point or if you're just messing with me."

Rolling her eyes at him, Nemuri began to cut through her own breakfast as she smiled across the table at him. "Snowie, all euphemisms are just one person messing with a slightly more oblivious person. That's sociology 101."

It sounded more like sociopathy 404 to him, but whatever. He was too busy going hobbit-mode on his second breakfast to care. "Thanks for the actual, this one actually tastes really good. Was the natto a fluke or was it supposed to taste like a crime scene?"

"I'll have you know that natto tasting like a crime scene is what makes it so beloved. And don't think I didn't notice you dodging the clothes question."

Toji held his hands up in false surrender at that. "Hey now, I didn't dodge anything… I forgot. Very big difference there. And I'll have you know it's going good… I think? Is it normal to swing by a support shop to talk numbers?"

"Eh, it's normal-ish." Damn, that sounded like his exact kind of style. "Usually if it's a big project or quirk-related the hero needs to swing by a few times to make sure it works, but if you're buying the support gear for someone else there's probably no reason to. Why'd you ask?"

"Selfie set up an appointment by accident with a gearhead for tomorrow and I was wondering if I was about to get stranger danger'd or if this was a regular thing. If it's weird or pointless then I'll probably just cancel it. Selfie can send you the deets if you want to double check em."

Going by the multiple dings that were already hitting his mom's phone before he finished speaking, Toji assumed Selfie jumped the gun halfway through his sentence… again.

It took almost no time at all for his mom to start full body cackling at whatever Selfie had sent her. He would've been less scared if she recoiled in horror and tossed the phone out the window.

"… So should I not go to the support shop to chat with them, or…?" He had to lean back to dodge his mom's waving hair as she shook her head back and forth.

"No, no, you should definitely go chat with that support shop. I think it'd be a good experience for you. You should learn how these things work before you go to U- high school."

As much of a weirdo as he knew Momuri to be, he also knew she was genuinely a good person so… screw it. Toji would swing by the support shop if she really thought he'd get something out of it.

"Eh… sure. I guess it'd be cool to see some super scientist's dark lair." For some reason that just reignited Nemuri's chortling. Was he guest starring on the Truman Show? What was even happening right now?

"I'm sure you're going to have a wonderful time with that. You know, as much fun as it is getting future teasing material out of you, you should probably get ready to go to U.A. for the testing. We need to be there by 11."

Right, the testing. He kinda already forgot that was happening… again. Woops.

Dragging himself up from his spot on the table, Toji grabbed the dirty dishes on his way past the sink and made his way to go take a shower, slipping the hungry caterpillar plushie still wrapped around his neck onto Nemuri as he passed her by.

Toji knew on an objective level that he should probably be freaking out about doing cram school tests at Xavier's School for Exceptional Crackheads, but the cool thing about being irrevocably fucked beyond belief was after a certain point your mind just does the cooked dog meme when weighing the odds and just passes on activating the fear response.

Like, come on now. Toji was an American kid two centuries outta date that spent his entire life getting passed through the system like a soggy blunt. There was no way he was going to actually pass a single test besides maybe English, and that was a pretty big maybe.

The most Toji could do was hope Nemuri wouldn't rib him too hard when he inevitably failed every test.

---

Nemuri Kayama


Nemuri knew going into this whole "mom" thing that she was gonna be just a teeny bit in over her head. That was kind of inevitable when adopting a teenager from another country. Ironically enough, none of the current problems cropping up around Snowie had anything to do with either of those things.

His Japanese was smooth enough that he could pass for a local, the worst cultural clashes he's had so far have been with the century instead of the country, and he was mellow enough that all the cat jokes and comparisons were just self-perpetuating at this point.

The only thing she still had to cover was education, and that was literally a work in progress… and by a work in progress she meant the kiddo was currently locked in a classroom with Power Loader, a custom computer Power Loader made for his test (for reasons beyond her) and three pizzas she picked up from a gas station along the way.

The gas station pizzas were essential to the testing experience. At least, she was pretty sure that's how American schools handled placement tests. Nemuri didn't need to be a teacher to know it was important to teach kids in familiar environments. Worst case scenario is she finds Snowie passed out in a sun spot covered in pizza sauce.

… Hmm. That didn't sound absolutely terrifying until she remembered that her kid had the color palette of a sheet of paper.

"Is everything going well, Midnight? You appear to be lost in thought." Right, she probably shouldn't zone out while in Nezu's office. Her paycheck signer had a bit of a bad habit of psychoanalyzing anyone that did anything. Wouldn't want to provoke him by thinking too hard.

"Sorry, I was just thinking about how Toji's doing at the moment, alongside a few other things. Once again, thanks for getting this set up for us. How are his scores looking so far? Snowie didn't really say anything about it on the ride over, but he seemed a bit gloomy about how he'd do."

Drumming his little paw pads against his desk, Nezu nodded towards her with a smile before turning back to watch the monitors strewn across his desk. "Once again, there is no need to thank me; it would be rather callous of the head of an institution of learning to ignore a youth's education. As for his test scores..."

Pulling out a large tablet from a desk drawer, Nezu spent a few moments fiddling with the touch pad before passing it her way. It only took once glance at the screen to make her let out an involuntary whistle.

"Damn, these test scores are kinda… nonsensical?" Nezu let out a short chirp of that canned laugh of his at that, so Nemuri guessed she wasn't far off in her assessment of it.

"Hahaha! They truly are, aren't they? It's been quite some time since I've seen such an odd spread of test results. You said he was an American native, correct? I suppose that would explain why his Japanese is better than his English."

The two main concerns Nemuri had were with the science and physics scores more than anything else. At least not all of his scores were duds. "I suppose we can strike computer tech off the list… completely. There's not much of a point in sending him to a class he already has ingrained in his brain."

Nezu was already click-clacking away on his custom keyboard as he jotted down a wall of text on his own notes on her kid. "Oh, I already had the paperwork to have him fully exempt from that course fast-tracked. I merely wanted to witness his quirk in action; I must say, it was quite the showing."

Yeah, the brat sure was great at using every quirk except her own. Now that she thought about it, when was the last time Snowie had even let a puff of smoke out? She should probably remind Toji that it's not healthy to keep quirks bottled up like that… after this meeting with Nezu.

"So what's next for his testing? Art, health, and home ec? If I was a betting girl I'd put money down on him not needing any help with home ec. Art's something I can personally tutor him in, and health is… hmm. Is health still a joke subject?"

Nezu nodded his head very lightly at that. "Health is still deemed a compulsory subject, as decided by the Ministry of education. If it makes you feel any better, the class is not nearly as archaic as when you first attended this institution. Why, I've even been informed that they finally added dual quirks to the curriculum! Hahaha!"

She just blew a raspberry at that. "Big woop. By the time Toji's graduated they'll probably still be debating whether or not quirk awakenings are still a modern myth or not. Before the conversation moves on, I gotta ask… what is up with those math scores?"

Nemuri knew she was in over her head the moment Nezu threw his arms up in a full body shrug right before bursting into laughter. "Why, I haven't a clue! If I had to make an educated guess I would assume the inconsistency stems from his coding quirk, but even I am unable to discern exactly where the line is for his quirk to be willing to step in and lend a hand."

The only reason Nemuri wasn't taking a page out of Snowie's handbook and dragging her hands down her face in exasperation was the fact that she was wearing makeup. "As much as I enjoy hearing all the new ways my son's quirk manages to baffle experts, that doesn't exactly tell me how I'm going to manage to teach someone that simultaneously has college level and elementary level math."

"If I were in your shoes I would simply be thankful that he has half a full understanding of mathematics, as opposed to the quarter understanding he seems to have for world history. By any chance is your son one of those… how do I say this… alternative history fanatics? It would explain his seeming hyper-fixation on the collapse era."

"Nah, that's just his weird cult upbringing shining through. At least, I think it's a cult upbringing. You know, probably one of those creepy quirk-purist cults in the mountains."

Pausing as he raised his teacup towards his mouth, Nezu turned to stare at her with what might have been the first look of genuine confusion she had ever seen spread across his cute little muzzle.

"Pardon me, Midnight, but would it be possible for you to elaborate on that statement? I knew your son's situation was rather unusual, but until a few moments ago I had presumed the abnormalities had been confined to his medical records and his immediate past, not the entirety of his formative years."

… Right. Nemuri might've forgotten to mention a few details in-between finding Snowie, adopting the brat, and that exact moment. In fact, did she even remember to ask if adoption qualified for maternity leave?

Whatever, that wasn't exact important at that exact moment. "I mean, he hasn't said anything about growing up in a cult, but it's the only scenario that really makes any sense to me. It'd explain why he acts like he was plucked right out of the final stretch of the twilight era."

It wasn't until Nezu's eyes started to boggle that Nemuri realized that she might've misstepped a bit by forgetting to mention that little detail. In her defense, she was pretty sure not gossiping about her kid's dark and stormy past with her boss was an objectively good thing to do… in basically any other situation besides this one.

"Midnight, your son… tell me, does he know anything about his father?" Ehh… what? Was this some fringe cult detail she didn't know about?

She probably shouldn't talk about her kid's personal info, but he did say she could dole it out in case it ever came up business so… "From what little Snowie's told me, the only family he had that was still alive was his brother. The most he's said about his parents was imply his bio-mom was a sex worker that passed while giving birth, but those might've also just been some snippy comments directed at me…"

Nezu slowly nodded at that, his gaze transfixed on her kid as he stood up from the desk for the dozenth time to wander aimlessly around the room for a moment instead of finishing his test. "Truly? Nothing about the father at all?"

"Nothing except the fact that Toji and his brother entered the system (that doesn't actually exist) before they were even one year old, which says a lot about the dad in-itself. Either he was a trafficker villain, or…"

"Or a victim of those who took Toji and his brother in, if we are assuming your cult theory is valid. Hmm… have you noticed any difference in your quirk as of late?"

Yeah, Nemuri was beginning to get fed up with this conversation. "Is any of this related to my son possibly being a lil' cultist, or are you just messing with me now? Yes, my quirk's fine. Snowball's quirk is fine too, in case that was your next question."

Something about her tone must've pierced through Nezu's thick skull, because she managed to earn a rare glimpse of embarrassment from the little chimera. "Ah, my apologies Midnight, it seems I let my mind get before my mouth."

Crossing her arms over her chest, Nemuri slouched back in her seat with a sigh, releasing a stay puff of smoke into the air. "Apology accepted, but that doesn't exactly explain what the question was about."

Nezu slowly drummed his little claws against the table at that. "As much as I would like to discuss hypotheticals with you, the information a majority of them hinge on is unfortunately wrapped up in a gag order. I simply misspoke with that final query."

There was a non-zero chance she was going to have a stroke before this conversation ended. "For real?"

Nezu bobbed his head at that. "Indeed! If it makes you less anxious, what I'm unable to speak on is… unlikely to be applicable to Toji. I'm truly sorry for being unable to help shed light on your son's situation for the time being. I suppose it would be for the best if we moved this conversation to less turbulent waters."

As much as Nemuri wanted to grab her marketable plushie of a boss and shake him like a box of crackers, she knew better than to pressure him on speaking about something that probably didn't even matter. Besides, she had a ton of alternative questions to ask him.

For example, "… Is it too late to go on maternity leave?"

---

Toji Kayama


"You want me to do another computer tech test? Didn't I already ace the first one?"

If Toji lived in a good and just world, that question would've gotten him a solid head nod, an 'Oh yeah, that's right!', and an escape from the purgatory that was standardized testing. Unfortunately for Toji, he was currently living in a post-modern apocalypse. If only his first life prepared him for such a fate.

Power Armor (or whatever his name was) just shook his head in response to that. "Yeah, you did good on that one. This is a different one. Your mom says your quirk is I-Island material. I'm the second opinion."

Alright, at least Toji knew who to blame now for the extra workload. Too bad that didn't clear anything else up for himself. "So uh… what's the test?"

Toji knew he was in like-minded company the moment he saw the secret seventh member of Dr. Teeth's polycule freeze in place. "Ah. I never thought that far ahead." Jesus fucking Christ. "I usually just let the support kids run wild for a couple hours whenever I need to test them. They usually make something impressive by the half hour mark."

"Dude, I don't even know what's considered impressive nowadays. The only things I've made are some glorified AI that rip data off the internet, an actual AI that processes the data."

Toji refused to bring up PBPD with someone his mom worked with. That game was made by dipshits, for dipshits.

"You should call me Higari. I'm a few decades too old to be getting called Dude." The fuck? He looked like he was barely older than Toji. There was no way this elf off a shelf was a certified Christmas Cake.

Higari continued to speak past Toji's idiotic train of thought. "Making an entire AI data scrapper by yourself is impressive though. Making an AGI agent would be extremely impressive, but I doubt you actually made one. No offense."

Well, Toji didn't even know what the fuck an AGI was, so he found it a bit hard to be offended by that. "None taken. Too bad none of that really narrows down what you would consider a passing grade for a software quirk. It's a bit hard to do something cool with that when you have no hardware to work with."

At least that got him a dry chuckle. "Heh. It's funny hearing the opposite side of that kind of comment. Usually my students have the opposite problem. Everyone wants to build the next high-distance surveillance drone, but nobody wants to calibrate the pieces to function seamlessly. End result? A big freaking mess, every single time… along a few cracked spines. I still have the last attempt sitting in the 3-H hanger."

Toji jumped on the lifeline with a knuckle-white grip. "How about that for a test? I could probably get a drone set up in an hour or two from scratch, no problem."

Higari slowly turned to stare at him in muted befuddlement at that. "You're trying to tell me that you could set up a surveillance drone in an hour? From scratch?"

"Uh… yeah?"

That made Higari pause for a moment and stare up at him, probably in absolute bafflement. "It'd need a full avionics system rework."

Toji didn't even know what an avionic was. "Sounds easy enough."

"The ECU is about as inefficient as it can possibly get. You'd need to tune it like a piano if you wanted it to fly longer than a few minutes."

He just kept nodding along as the silly words that meant nothing washed over him. "Reset and re-tune the ECU, got it."

"You would need to re-do basically everything that keeps it working. The sensors and GPS had a bad break-up, the fault tolerant guidance system is intolerable, and the cameras themselves would need a total overhaul to play nice with everything else. That's not even adding in the total lack of AA."

"Right, that all sounds easy enough." He was sure half of those things will just work themselves out in the process of fixing the bigger things. Totally.

Higari just dryly laughed at that. Rude. "Heh. First thing you should learn about support work, kid, is that you never over-promise on a product. Sure, I'll call your bluff. Let's see how much you can salvage from a failed project in an hour. Don't get upset when I'm not impressed."

---

Nemuri Kayama


When Nemuri asked if she could get maternity leave for adopting Snowie, she wasn't actually expecting the answer to be positive. It was apparently called 'childcare' leave, but if Nemuri got her way it'd be called 'a month or so of vacation time with the brat'.

The only problem with that was the fact that Nezu was doing a really good job of convincing her it was a bad idea. Well, that the 'go on vacation to Hawaii' bit was a bad idea at the very least. Even he agreed that her taking an extended January break into February to catch her kid up on the subjects he was lagging in was a good idea.

"I must say Midnight, this has been one of the most intriguing conversations I have had in quite some time. You've given me much to think on. I'll need to send the placement tests off to the ministry of education to get the ball rolling on your son's education. I doubt it will take them more than a week to send the results back to you."

Ah, right in time for the holidays. She's sure Toji was going to be thrilled. "So just to be clear, you're not going to have any issues finding a substitute while I take January into February off to help catch Toji up to speed? I know this is a bit of a sudden change to… well, just about everything."

Nezu just waved off her concerns with a light laugh, a fresh cup of tea already in his hand from who knows where. "There's no need to fret, Midnight. U.A. is not an underfunded public school. I'll have no issues finding willing substitutes to teach in your absence. Why, I may go as far as request All Might be the substitute! Haha!"

Okay, as funny as the mental image of All Might lecturing a bunch of kids about early 22nd​ century post-collapse street art was, she wasn't sure if replacing her bombshell self with a scary skeleton man would go over well with the youth. "Are you sure that's a good idea? I've never really pegged All Might as an art guy."

"Hmm… Yes! The more I reflect on the idea, the more I find myself in favor of it. It would be rather irresponsible to let someone that's never taught a class before jump straight to a heroics course, would it not? The least I can do is make him try to corral a group of teenagers in a controlled environment before giving him free reign of an uncontrolled one."

Well, when Nezu put it like that it started to sound less like a terrible idea and more like a… well, not a great idea, but still. "Well… you're literally the boss. Do you want me to set up a custom lesson plan for the big guy, or-?"

Unfortunately for All Might's sanity, Nemuri was interrupted by Power Loader and Snowie blowing through Nezu's office door before she could finish asking if she should show a hint of mercy for the miracle man himself. Eh, oh well. She's sure he'd be fine.

"Nezu. Nemuri." Power Loader said, nodding to both of them like a divorce lawyer before cutting straight to the point. "Are we still taking recommendation student applications? I'm recommending this kid, if that wasn't already obvious."

Alright, that was a bit out of left field. Despite talking up her kid's quirk every day of the week that ends in Y she hadn't actually been expecting her kid to work his way into Power Loader's class on day zero of contact. She had just been gunning for a general course spot with maybe the health and computer tech classes taken out of the equation.

There was a lot Nemuri could say about Power Loader electing her kid for a spot at her school that she brought him to test at, but the only thought that immediately sprang to mind was, "Aren't recommendation students only for the hero course?"

Power Loader just shrugged at that. "I don't care."

Well, it was hard to argue with that impassioned defense. That was around the point where Snowie butted in with his own take on the conversation.

"Wait, what? I totally just bombed half a dozen tests, why the hell am I being offered a proxy-scholarship? Isn't this place supposed to be a meritocracy?" She wasn't really sure why he was having an issue with a free scholarship of all things.

Nezu hummed at that, tilting his forward slightly in acknowledgment to her brat's words. "While I would never describe our institution as such, it is true that our institution values individual excellence rather dearly. If you were to attend U.A. Academy, what do you intend to make of yourself after attending this academy?"

Alright, she had to interject at that. "Oh? Are we beginning to interview recommendation students now? I don't remember the previous years needing to prove themselves to the principal to get an acceptance letter."

That actually managed to make the little bugger pause for a moment in consideration… before borrowing a page out of Power Loader's book and shrugging up at her. Dammit. "It's not often I get a recommendation with the student still present. I might as well jump on the opportunity while it's still present."

Toji didn't seem to hear either of them bicker, his full attention seemingly preoccupied with scratching his chin and staring blankly out the window that overlooked the rear of the school. "Hmm… what do I see myself a decade from now… is 'fuckin' scarce' a valid answer?"

She was going to need to have a talk with her brat when she got home about swearing in public. Specifically, swearing in public in front of the guy that signed her paychecks.

Thank God Nezu was a good sport and just shrugged it off. "I would prefer if you kept the swearing to a minimum, but yes, I would consider that to be a valid answer. May I ask for you to elaborate on how you're going to become scarce?"

He better not say he's planning on copying his best friend's quirk. She enjoyed seeing her kid, thank you very much.

Thankfully for her, Toji lived to subvert expectations. Unfortunately for her, he usually undersold them. "Honestly? I'm probably just gonna go run away and hide in the woods the second I hit my mid-20s. Maybe a bit sooner."

… And there was the other reason Nemuri assumed Toji was a cult kid. Turning back to check on Nezu, she could see a few gears start to click into place as he stared at her kid in consideration. "Oh? And what makes you so desperate to head for rural life in a decade or less?"

Nemuri held in a sigh the moment she heard Nezu ask that question. She already knew exactly what his answer was going to be, in all it's out of context glory. And sure enough…

"Because All Might's ass is grass, and father time drives a gravely mower." There it was.

Turning to look at Nezu to catch his reaction, Nemuri could feel the schadenfreude run through her veins at the sight of his baffled expression.

"I… I beg your pardon?" Damn, it wasn't often Nemuri got to watch Nezu get stumped without a crisis attached to the expression.

Her son thankfully began to elaborate on his (nonsensical) opinion before he could give Nezu a heart attack. "The retirement home beckons. The guy is, what, 53 years old? In an industry where people retire before they hit 40? It's honestly a miracle he's lasted this long. His joints must be made out of sawdust by now."

Nezu just continued to stare up at Snowball in bafflement. For all Nemuri knew, this could've been the first time Nezu was ever confused for a prolonged amount of time… and by prolonged, she meant half a minute.

"I must admit, I was not expecting a hopeful of a heroics academy to have such a… dismal view of heroics. While it's true All Might does more than his fair share to keep our nation safe and secure, I feel you are underestimating the hard work and sacrifice every member of the World Heroes Association gives to keep their nations safe and secure."

Maybe it was because Nezu was once her principal and was now her boss, but she would've probably been sweating buckets at even that milquetoast reprimand from the chimera. Instead of being apologetic, her son just laughed in his face. Oh jeez…

"Pfft, come on. The crime rate in America is 20%. That's worse than Mexico. And that's one of the most stable countries right out the gate. I can't even find actual stats on half the countries in the Middle East or Africa. Nobody can even get around to counting all the crimes. Europe just got done being balkanized to hell and back. And Asia… well, we have All Might. Don't get me wrong, I respect the hell out of all the heroes for holding the line. I just know we're one retirement party away from turning into an island-wide ditch derby."

Nemuri had to cover her face at that. Twenty years of running around naked, and all it took to make her feel shame and embarrassment was letting her kid talk to her boss unfiltered for a minute. Nobody told her being a parent was so awkward!

Peeking through her fingers, Nemuri took one look at Nezu's face and went right back to covering them. She couldn't even look. "Is that so? You truly believe that no matter the good we do, we will never go beyond our limits? That villains will inevitably reign supreme? That an… era of darkness will grip the nation? Truly?"

Alright, that latter half of Nezu's tirade felt a bit too targeted to be a figure of speech. Taking another peek through her fingers, Nemuri could see that Toji's face had stolen Nezu's baffled look.

"What? No. Most villains are just clowns that try holding up banks with quirks like 'matchstick fingers'. Freaking idiots. I mean, there's a few villains that are walking natural disasters, but most of them could be handled by two cops sharing a taser."

Alright, Nemuri was glad to hear that her son wasn't a Villain fanatic. Too bad his equal disrespect for both heroes and villains made his already nonsensical rambling make even less sense. Finally removing her hands from her face, Nemuri made eye contact with Nezu and could see the shared confusion in his eyes.

"Pardon me, Toji, but I find myself at a bit of a loss for where your desires to flee from civilization stem from. You believe high crime rates are inevitable and that heroes are doomed to fail, but you also believe villains are inherently weak and doomed for failure… if neither the common hero or the common villain is a cause for your concern, then… what are you fleeing from?"

Nemuri didn't need to be close to Nezu to see he was fishing for a very specific answer. The one her son gave was… probably not the one he had been searching for.

"Drug addictions and mental illness." And there it was. Her son's core philosophy summed up in five words.

Feeling a nudge against her ribs, Nemuri turned away from the clown show for a moment to stare at Power Loader as he repeatedly elbowed her to catch her attention. Nodding at her son, Power Loader pointed at his own head and spun a finger in a circular motion several times before making a questioning gesture. Nemuri nodded glumly. Power Loader shot her a thumbs up and just walked out of the room at that.

Well, that was certainly an interaction. Turning back to Nezu and Snowie, she wasted no time in getting back to watching the perpetual car crash being played out in front of her.

"My, oh my. It certainly seems like you have quite the despondent view of your fellow man." Nemuri must've missed an exchange between the two of them while she was interacting with Power Loader, because instead of looking borderline shocked and angry like he was before he now looked… somberly enthralled?

Yeah, she must've been misreading the chimera's face on that one. Nezu was weird, but he wasn't that weird… she thinks?

Trailing a stray lock of hair between his fingers, Toji let out a sigh as he stared out at the dense forest beyond the school. "It's not that I think people are bad or anything. Every person I've interacted with since waking up has been great. I just know that all it takes is one random guy having a bad trip or a mental breakdown to turn a city block into a charnel house."

Despite making just as little sense to her as when the conversation first started, Nezu was looking as if he was finally finding where a few puzzle pieces click together. Good for him. Here's hoping he shares some of that wisdom sooner rather than later.

"I find your logic rather contradictory. You're not afraid of villains destroying the country, but it's mental illness and addiction that you fear?"

Toji just gave a simple nod to that, as if they were discussing the weather. "Well, yeah. Sociopathy takes a lot to show up. Psychopathy is a one percent gamble. The chance of either of those two winning the power lotto are a percentage of a percentage. But a drug fueled bender? You can get that at the grocery store for twenty bucks a bottle and fifteen bucks a needle from your local dealer. Throw in the complementary super power everyone gets, and how can I not feel like I live in a no-trust society?"

Nemuri had never gotten this far into peeling apart Snowie's cult-fueled delirium. It was the most depressing thing she had experienced since she had first found him. She could see that even Nezu was starting to feel a bit anxious at watching this cute little ragamuffin of a kid go on a long winded rant about how untrustworthy the world was.

Interlocking his stubby little paws together in concern, Nezu stared at her kid in silence for several moments, whatever feelings he was sorting through finally wiped off of his face by an ironclad poker face.

Finally, after what felt like ages, Nezu nodded his head once and hopped atop his desk with a huff before walking across the width of it towards Snowie.

"I must admit, I was certainly not expecting this conversation to flow down this path when we had first started to converse. Why, I had forgotten to even ask Power Loader what you did to earn his recommendation! Haha! I already know, of course, but it's still important to at least ask."

Somehow, despite going on an impassioned rant about hiding from meth addicts in the woods, that of all things was what made Toji break out in a bright red blush across his face. "Ah… woops. I kinda forgot we were talking about scholarships before I spilled spaghetti," What? "- everywhere. I guess I flubbed the interview, huh?"

Nezu was already shaking his head before Nemuri could even begin to get worried at the thought. "Why, not at all. Your world view may be dim, and your hope may be brittle, but I can tell you hold a positive concern for the world around you despite all you have been through."

Toji let out a nervous laugh at that, his hand already moving past playing with his hair to instead paw at the back of his head. "Uhm… thanks? I'm not really sure how me talking smack about everyone and everything made you think that, but I guess I'll take the compliment. That doesn't really tell me why that whole discussion wasn't a flub though…"

Nezu just shrugged and smiled at that. "You can find out a fair bit by what someone is willing to say, but you can find out even more by what a person refuses to think, even when at their lowest, both physically and mentally. Tell me, do you know the motto of U.A.?"

Scratching the back of his neck, Toji took one final look out Nezu's window before shooting out an answer. "It's… 'Plus Ultra', right? Go beyond? It's a bit bland as far as mottoes go, don'tcha think?"

That got a short huff of laughter out of Nezu. "The longer this conversation goes on, the more convinced I am that you could find a way to take umbrage with a blank piece of paper. Yes Toji, 'Go Beyond' is indeed our school's motto. Tell me, what do you believe those two words are meant to represent?"

Finally, a regular question! And one she actually had the cheat sheet for. Most kids interpreted it as being the best in their class, or their career, or just breaking their limits and cranking their quirks to 300%.

Toji chose to say approximately none of those things. "I assume it means something like 'be the best possible version of yourself'. You know, go to sleep smarter than when you woke up. Wake up stronger than you were the previous week. That sorta thing."

Nezu's grin finally grew wide enough that she could make out his glinting teeth amid his pure white fur. "And how do you plan on growing smarter? On becoming stronger? What are your plans on how to become the best possible version of yourself?"

Toji opened his mouth to response, paused, and then slowly closed his mouth with a click of his teeth bumping together before taking a moment to reflect on the question.

His reflection must've been murky, because it only took him a second or so to shrug at Nezu with a bemused smile. "Am I supposed to know the answer to that? I'm fifteen, dude. The best I can come up with is working out with my friend and studying on the side. I'm not sure if that'll make me the best version of myself, but I feel a hell of a lot better than I did before… well, before I came to Japan."

Well, that might've not been the answer a majority of students went with, but it looked like it was still good enough for Nezu, if his widening grin was anything to go by.

"Despite your answer being steeped in diffidence, you seem to understand the foundation that supports U.A. I believe I've heard enough. We'll need to do some additional testing come February to make sure your grades are improving, but I cannot find any reason to turn you away from our institution."

Despite already knowing exactly what Nezu's final verdict was going to be, she was still glad to know that Snowball didn't find a way to shove his entire foot in his mouth and choke a step away from the finish line. "Seriously? I'm getting accepted into U.A.?"

"Why, of course! I had already been planning on offering you a spot at U.A. even before that illuminating discussion, just not for the support course. It would hardly do to let someone such as yourself disappear off into the woods, never to be seen again." Nezu chirped out with a smile, bouncing to-and-fro on the heels of his boots.

Toji's gaze slowly darted between Nezu's beaming face and her own, looking completely lost and dazed for the first time since he had entered Nezu's office. "But... I bombed half the tests and argued about drug addicts with you. Why is that what made you decide to make the call now?"

Nezu only had one response for that. "Because U.A. is not just a school meant to let hero hopefuls excel. It's a school meant to let all students become their best possible self, in a safe and controlled environment. I cannot think of a better place for you to be than within our halls."

"Welcome, Toji Kayama, to your Support Academia!"

---

Spoiler: Author's Note

I am sure google translate totally didn't steer me wrong on the bit at the beginning. Sorry for the delay on this bit! I had to fire off all cylinders to get over that writer's block on the other fic I'm writing. I know I said I was going to try for shorter chapters but since the wait was so long I thought 'fuck it, might as well go for another chonker'.

Also I made that "can I still have maternity leave" quip as a joke just to realize moments later that Nemuri probably would've gotten childcare leave for adopting a kid, and a few months worth at that if she really wanted to. Uhh… woops.

Going back to check Vigilantes, I'm fairly certain sure Nezu should know what AFO looked like before he got scarred by All Might. I can't imagine he wouldn't have an extremely detailed police sketch of the guy at the absolute bare minimum. In fact, since Zen has a copy of Garaki's aging quirk and he met him when he was still in his prime Zen shouldn't look any older than his 30s. AKA, the similarities between him and Toji are very obvious the second you look for them.

Also, something about the whole cult thing that I couldn't cover in the story without it becoming extremely obvious exposition… a cult performing an entire Truman Show setup where they pretend they still live in the pre-quirk world while killing any quirkies that wander in is completely possible in MHA. This is the same setting that had an entire city of villain terrorists just hiding innawoods with their own evil-wifi and evil plumbing. A hidden town in Appalachia would be way less difficult to pull off than that crazy shit. I'm not saying it actually exists or anything, just that it wouldn't really rank that high in absurdity.

Spoiler: U.A. classes (mostly for myself)

Canon U.A. Classes:
-World history
-Japanese history
-English
-Japanese
-Home Ec
-Math
-Computer Tech
-Art
-Physics
-Science
-Health

As well as 'item development' for the support-specific class. Fun fact, despite being a national school U.A. also canonically has six day school weeks. Now the real question is, does Toji know that?

No, no he does not. I'm sure he'll be thrilled when he figures it out.

 

[bambache]

It's all over for our beloved protagonist, Midnight's mom power has leveled up even further!

You said he was an American native, correct? I suppose that would explain why his Japanese is better than his English."

Click to shrink...

I'm not sure if that is a burn on "English" versus "American English," or if those subjects should be replaced!

 

[SiegfriedisPower]

Was his daily schedule being written by Oda?

Click to shrink...

When will this story feature, That Man?