Hi how are you? I'm new to this type of post, so I ask that you have a little patience, I'm...
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Anjels | 7 |
No problem, it's simply because the public usually searches on Native American websites when they want to read some fan fiction, of course there are executions.Huh... little stilted. Errr sorta stiff I mean. But given what you're writing (The scene I mean) that feels more like a style choice than anything else and it actually works well.
watched.
can I ask a question? I really don't want to offend I'm just really curious. if English isn't your first language why write in English? Is it just that you can get more feedback with the larger english audience? I've always been curious about that. Just... never wanted to ask the people who are so bad it's obvious, and this isn't. I probably wouldn't have suspected if you hadn't mentioned it
.
That last word should be Exceptions. Execution means to kill a prisoner. Though it's also used for killing a defeated enemy who can no longer defend themselves.
and this paragraph sounds very awkward to a native english speaker. Not sure how to clean that up.There is also the fact that English is the language more popular than that of the author, who is not a native of North America, if he wants to write something and wants to have a larger audience, he usually puts it in English.
Oh ... thanks, I didn't even notice that slip.Gotcha, thanks for answering. Since you are looking to work on your grammar though...
That last word should be Exceptions. Execution means to kill a prisoner. Though it's also used for killing a defeated enemy who can no longer defend themselves.
Maybe it's because I mentioned "Native to North America", yes, that also bothered me a lot, unfortunately, I don't remember the correct term, because if I write only American, I could be describing the entire American continent, believe it or not, I'm not an North American..and this paragraph sounds very awkward to a native english speaker. Not sure how to clean that up.
that too but it's more than that english is the major language in Great Britain, australia, new Zealand (i think not 100% on that one though) and is common in large chunks of africa because of the british. For all the noise america can make it's not just ours. Obviously there are regional specific quirks. The most confusing I've encountered personally being canada. I have relatives there who can say sentences that are split 50/50 between french and English. Still not sure how I'd clean that up though :/Oh ... thanks, I didn't even notice that slip.
Maybe it's because I mentioned "Native to North America", yes, that also bothered me a lot, unfortunately, I don't remember the correct term, because if I write only American, I could be describing the entire American continent, believe it or not, I'm not an North American..
* snorts* At least you have relatives who speak your language.that too but it's more than that english is the major language in Great Britain, australia, new Zealand (i think not 100% on that one though) and is common in large chunks of africa because of the british. For all the noise america can make it's not just ours. Obviously there are regional specific quirks. The most confusing I've encountered personally being canada. I have relatives there who can say sentences that are split 50/50 between french and English. Still not sure how I'd clean that up though :/
Taiga is a girl right?
Last I knew
adjusted
Maybe remove infidelity"I believe infidelity that I am not the only one who was nervous about his rescue method"
This should be sniffs
Finally someone who discovered the first clue! yes the oath of shirou is a protection approved by Alaya, but not in the way you are thinking.I'm curious what the consequences of those oaths will be? I mean it was literally recorded in the Root as well as both Alaya and Gaia testified both of their oaths after all. I don't know If it is good or bad but at least Shirou is along for the ride~ Heck it might actually prevent him to take a contract with Alaya in the first place. At least this version is a responsible older brother in other words he won't likely grow up reckless with his oath guiding him.
Finally someone who discovered the first clue! yes the oath of shirou is a protection approved by Alaya, but not in the way you are thinking.
Spoiler: Even as valuable as this may be, it is not worth the pain of a higher force.
Yes, both will be a force to be reckoned with. Their work will be much broader and more efficient than all the 'agencies' that 'fight' against the supernatural.The way I see it both of them will become a Neutral Force that wasn't allied to both Gaia and Alaya but the both of them will act as a Balancer of both the World/Humanity without the two greater consciousness actually sending either their Beast/Phantasmal Creaters/Counter Guardians. It saves both Alaya and Gaia resources as well as not killing so many people along with damaging the World too much only when Kuro and Shirou along with whatever Organization they might create failed that the both of them will dispatch their agents.
Yes, both will be a force to be reckoned with. Their work will be much broader and more efficient than all the 'agencies' that 'fight' against the supernatural.
(One thing I want to point out is that both counter-force and Beasts are recognized as 'nuclear forces' by the magus, and can often be considered highly inefficient with a lot of collateral damage. This is where neutral force will become important, because it is easier to use a scalpel to 'cut' the evil than a bomb to destroy everything and everyone).
But besides that, Kuroko has very important plans for the development of the human race, in fact this oath was the fundamental point for her legend.
I confess that when I started, I was hoping to write something light as a joke but the story itself started to take a course that even I can't see what the final result will be.
To many secrets in this story, secrets that I will be revealing to readers little by little in each chapter, and that over time they can define a very important picture.
In fact all the stories that I post both here and in the Tales of Anjels are connected there will be some snacks that I will put there that may unravel some mysteries, I also already have a sketch of which story I will post when I finish this one and I will put the prologue there more front.
Well atleast Zelretch might fund them If nothing else since I think his job sometimes is a mediator between Gaia and Alaya. I mean he is in a way also a Neutral Force on his own since I think the only reason he is in Clock Tower is to keep an eye on the magus in case they got a case of stupidity. Also I think he is the one that actually protects most of the world and humanity in the shadows.
I mean I'm sure he is the only one that can contend If something out from other dimension/universe is affecting the World/Humanity in his world too much but he is also only 1 person. Having Kuro and Shirou basically takes up the lesser (in his eyes at least) jobs will free him to decides/do the truly critical ones for the survival of the World/Humanity.
I guess Shirou's wish will be achieved then since both of the siblings will have their Legends carve to the Throne of Heroes huh I guess they will be the first of the Modern Age to actually ascend to the Throne If that happens which will be very impressive.