-
The site has now migrated to Xenforo 2. If you see any issues with the forum operation, please post them in the feedback thread.
-
Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
-
The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.
These Heels Step Heavenward - A Jade Beauty's Isekai Gone Wild
Pef
Experienced.
- Joined
- May 28, 2016
- Messages
- 2,632
- Likes received
- 179,040
What I find funny is the whole 'arrogance is king' type of thinking (although the MC only thinks it, but doesn't act on it often).
While it is true that many 'young masters' in wuxia do exhibit such syndromes, that's because they are poorly raised and socialized, turning them into sociopaths and narcissists. It is not an intended effect, especially as this arrogance is not founded in skill and value, thus becoming the leading cause of death for said young masters.
Now, if instead of arrogance, one was to value competence and merit, plus other virtues like integrity, compassion and honor...we would have a completely different system.
As for aphrodisiacs...lol. Again, while it is customary for at least one such scene in every wuxia novel, most often such things happen by lucky accident, instead of careful planning.
While it is true that many 'young masters' in wuxia do exhibit such syndromes, that's because they are poorly raised and socialized, turning them into sociopaths and narcissists. It is not an intended effect, especially as this arrogance is not founded in skill and value, thus becoming the leading cause of death for said young masters.
Now, if instead of arrogance, one was to value competence and merit, plus other virtues like integrity, compassion and honor...we would have a completely different system.
As for aphrodisiacs...lol. Again, while it is customary for at least one such scene in every wuxia novel, most often such things happen by lucky accident, instead of careful planning.
EchoDragon
Experienced.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2019
- Messages
- 4,713
- Likes received
- 24,869
The jade beauties might find it suspicious how common those "accidents" are.
Scopas
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2018
- Messages
- 1,390
- Likes received
- 23,690
I think it could be argued that this is sort of a deconstruction of the Wuxia. I mean, Daphne is basically the logical conclusion of the Wuxia protagonist, right? With all of the stereotypical traits and ways of speaking cranked up to 11. The fact that she's aware of the genre tropes and deliberately tries to invoke them makes this feel like a deconstruction, at least.
Pef
Experienced.
- Joined
- May 28, 2016
- Messages
- 2,632
- Likes received
- 179,040
Maybe? She does have a special 'boon', in this case memories of another life. Problem is not the memories though, but the strange personality shift that comes with it, one that completely replaces the original host, so much so that she doesn't has a clue who the people around her are, or even her own local past.
It is in fact a possession of body, which curiously went undetected in a world with magic and manifested gods. For now.
Scopas
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2018
- Messages
- 1,390
- Likes received
- 23,690
Well, it's that, but it's also how she's completely internalized all of the worse aspects of the wuxia genre as being both natural and right. For instance, the aphrodisiac thing - you mention that, for the most part, while aphrodisiac scenes are common, it's usually either an accident or a malicious act. Daphne has taken their use as a simple and inevitable fact of life, and has in fact concocted a whole schema about when it's socially acceptable to use aphrodisiacs and for what purposes. I think it could be argued that this is a deconstruction of the wuxia, by taking common tropes and asking the question of "what sort of person would be produced by a world where these are the common narrative tropes?"
I also think that Daphne seriously is either a sociopath or deeply disturbed. The mention about her starting her training with drugs at age 4 and being inducted as a disciple of a militant cult at age 8 indicates exposure to mind altering substances and extreme violence from an early age. Coupled with her exaltation of arrogance and egotism as supreme goods, the way she thinks of everyone around her as tools rather then people, and her self-espoused willingness to use whatever means necessary to become a hero's flavor of the week are all troubling. I think the only redeemable thing so far about her is that, while she says and thinks some reprehensible things, so far her actions have been mostly beneficial and helpful. She's supporting and sponsoring "Tracey", she's teaching her cousin how to be like her (mixed bag, that), and she hasn't had Rian killed yet.
Arguably, this represents a girl who thinks she believes all the things she claims to believe, but doesn't actually have the stomach to fully treat people the way her beliefs would demand. As a result, she creates justifications about why she doesn't have to treat them horribly - for example, Blaise is her cousin, so by family duty she must help him; Rian is her servant, so she will decide when and how he dies; and "Tracey" is her disciple and servant, so she'll look out for her and help her. I dunno, maybe she actually is a decent but incredibly warped person.
24: Courting
Halt
Making the rounds.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
- Messages
- 33
- Likes received
- 1,111
Chapter 24: Courting
Daphne admired herself in the mirror as one did. When a master craftsperson had devoted hours of their life to creating art, it was only proper to take a moment to appreciate its beauty.
"Prince Hadrian will be left stunned," Maid said, making small adjustments to the gold needles keeping her hair in a perfectly styled bun.
Daphne let out a smull hum of satisfaction. She was dressed in resplendent golden silk from head to heel, looking as if molten gold was flowing down her body. A cloak of stormsilk fluttered behind her, kept perpetually floating aboveground by the object's innate cultivation. As she understood it, the object was infused with such powerful wind qi that it required no prompting from her to fulfill its purpose.
Just as well, for Daphne had never considered branching out from her training in water qi. Blaise was doing his best to teach her now, but she would not dare call herself adequate quite yet.
This realm truly does have wonders and secrets, Daphne thought. To produce such artifacts who had no purpose beyond mere decoration... It showed how confident these people were that the cultivation path they walked could afford to invest so much time and effort on trivialities. For what else could it be called but arrogance to climb towards immortality, to step heavenward, yet still insist on these small vanities.
It was an arrogance Daphne could respect, even if her old master would have been apoplectic at what he'd perceive as waste. What was the point of doing something if one could not look good while doing it?
There was a knock on the door and Maid rushed over to open it, while Daphne turned around to look at the doors. With a look, she signalled to Maid to open them.
"Your Excellency," Daphne said, curtseying, as the people of this realm called their version of kowtowing.
"There's no need for that between us in private," Hadrian said, a slight smile turning the corners of his lips as he stepped into the room. "We're engaged now, aren't we?"
"I've been led to understand by my cousin that such an arrangement needs to be formalized," Daphne said.
Hadrian scoffed. "Formalities. My mother won't object, of course, neither will my father. Do you see any complications arising from your end?"
Daphne considered what she knew of her parents, before slowly shaking her head. "My house would be honored to be joined with yours."
"Then we're as good as engaged, aren't we?" Hadrian said, silvey eyes shining bright. For the briefest of moments, her qi sense honed in on that pair of stars. There was power behind them that did not belong to Hadrian himself. An imposition of will, a spell placed heedless of time by his ancestors. It was the lingering traces of legacy.
His qi remained as she'd remembered, not being particularly noteworthy in itself, but she was surer now than ever that his bloodlines remained locked. Perhaps he wished to deepen his foundations first in the four elements? There were some bloodlines and clan techniques which could interact unfortunately with one's foundations. If he were taking such a prudent path, Daphne could only commend him, for many rushed to the next breakthrough without consideration for the larger picture.
Of course, she'd never ask him that until they were intimate! It was impolite to ask such things about someone's cultivation even between path friends.
"Lady Daphne?" Hadrian asked, taking a few steps towards her. "Are you feeling well?"
"Perfectly fine," Daphne replied.
"You looked distracted by something," he said.
"Really, I'm fine," Daphne said.
Before he could take another step closer, something green and spiked fell from the ceiling. Alice landed between them, upright as if by magic and no worse for falling. Daphne had learned many things about her catcus, including her remarkable ability to climb walls using those thorns of hers. They'd learned that the first time Maid had tried giving catcus a bath.
Hadrian stared at Alice. "A catcus? I wasn't aware you kept one as a pet."
"Alice is my familiar as of yesterday," Daphne said.
Hadrian knelt and held out a hand to the catcus.
"Be careful," Daphne said. "She's not fond of other people."
On cue, Alice let her spikes show, pricking Hadrian's hand and poking his most outstretched finger. Daphne spotted a thin pool of blood forming as she strode forward. "Alice, no!" Daphne said, as her large eyes peered at Daphne, asking if she'd done well. "Prince Hadrian is a friend."
Alice slunk away, in search of the warmest corner in the room. Daphne rolled her eyes as Alice settled on where her favorite silk cushion lay, perfectly positioned so that the light of the morning sun hit it.
"I'm sorry about that," Daphne said. "I haven't quite figured out how to get her to stop pricking anyone other than me."
Hadrian chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I should have known better really. Uncle's catcus is much the same and they like being touched as much as pineapple's do."
"At least let me take care of this for you," Daphne said, taking off her gloves and pressing her skin against his. He was warm to the touch. Water qi sprouted out of her fingers and covered his wound, willing it to knit itself shut. A unique application of water qi, to say the least, and one she'd quickly mastered upon learning of its existence. "I have to ask, what made you come visit me today of all days? It took me quite by surprise."
"I hadn't seen you in a while," Hadrian said. "And with the tournament coming up … well, I'd hate to distract you from your training, but also be deprived of your company. Now seemed like the best time to see you." His eyes locked with hers. "I hope I didn't cause any inconvenience?"
"None at all," Daphne said smoothly. They'd decided not to continue with today's training anyway after speaking with the archystor. The old master who'd be supervising them from now on couldn't make it today, but had promised to carve out time for them each day for the entirety of the coming week.
He stood, and pulled her up with him, before leading them to the sofa.
"Would you like anything to drink?" Daphne asked. It was a shame that she didn't have any aphrodisiacs on hand, but that was no excuse to forget her manners. A small mercy that Tracey was not around though, or she might think Daphne a hypocrite for not following her own advice on courtship.
"A glass of water would be lovely," Hadrian said.
Daphne nodded to Maid, and she left to see to it. His hands had never left hers, and Daphne couldn't say she honestly minded.
"Was it really so surprising that I'd visit you?" Hadrian asked.
"We don't know each other very well," Daphne said. Not that that was a necessary basis for romance between jade beauties and heroes.
"Then all the more reason that I do visit," Hadrian said with a full smile that reached his eyes. "We're only going to spend the rest of our lives together."
"Assuming the engagement is formalized," Daphne said.
His smile wilted. "Do you find the thought displeasing?" he asked. "I don't mean to impose on you, despite how quickly things might seem moving." His laugh was full of nervous energy. "I realize in hindsight it must be quite a shock that I'd ask you to marry me upon our second meeting."
Well, at least you asked, Daphne thought wryly. Some men never bothered even, and just took it for granted that any jade beauty would gladly dual cultivate with them. Such affairs were far more fun when both were willing. "I've no complaints about marrying you," Daphne assured him. "Only…"
"Only?"
"A proper suitor would have brought me to a restaurant by now," Daphne said.
"Oh?" Hadrian asked with furrowed brows, his ringed fingers intertwining with hers now. "I didn't think you'd like dining in the city. I can make arrangements."
She wasn't particularly fond of restaurants, but did you really know someone until you'd seen them smack down an arrogant young master? Where better to find them than a restaurant?
"Maybe not today," Daphne said. "After the tournament, when I win perhaps?"
"After the tournament, whether you win or not," Hadrian bargained.
"Whether I win or not," Daphne acquiesced. After all, she was confident of winning, so really meeting him halfway was just giving him some face and not real surrender.
Daphne admired herself in the mirror as one did. When a master craftsperson had devoted hours of their life to creating art, it was only proper to take a moment to appreciate its beauty.
"Prince Hadrian will be left stunned," Maid said, making small adjustments to the gold needles keeping her hair in a perfectly styled bun.
Daphne let out a smull hum of satisfaction. She was dressed in resplendent golden silk from head to heel, looking as if molten gold was flowing down her body. A cloak of stormsilk fluttered behind her, kept perpetually floating aboveground by the object's innate cultivation. As she understood it, the object was infused with such powerful wind qi that it required no prompting from her to fulfill its purpose.
Just as well, for Daphne had never considered branching out from her training in water qi. Blaise was doing his best to teach her now, but she would not dare call herself adequate quite yet.
This realm truly does have wonders and secrets, Daphne thought. To produce such artifacts who had no purpose beyond mere decoration... It showed how confident these people were that the cultivation path they walked could afford to invest so much time and effort on trivialities. For what else could it be called but arrogance to climb towards immortality, to step heavenward, yet still insist on these small vanities.
It was an arrogance Daphne could respect, even if her old master would have been apoplectic at what he'd perceive as waste. What was the point of doing something if one could not look good while doing it?
There was a knock on the door and Maid rushed over to open it, while Daphne turned around to look at the doors. With a look, she signalled to Maid to open them.
"Your Excellency," Daphne said, curtseying, as the people of this realm called their version of kowtowing.
"There's no need for that between us in private," Hadrian said, a slight smile turning the corners of his lips as he stepped into the room. "We're engaged now, aren't we?"
"I've been led to understand by my cousin that such an arrangement needs to be formalized," Daphne said.
Hadrian scoffed. "Formalities. My mother won't object, of course, neither will my father. Do you see any complications arising from your end?"
Daphne considered what she knew of her parents, before slowly shaking her head. "My house would be honored to be joined with yours."
"Then we're as good as engaged, aren't we?" Hadrian said, silvey eyes shining bright. For the briefest of moments, her qi sense honed in on that pair of stars. There was power behind them that did not belong to Hadrian himself. An imposition of will, a spell placed heedless of time by his ancestors. It was the lingering traces of legacy.
His qi remained as she'd remembered, not being particularly noteworthy in itself, but she was surer now than ever that his bloodlines remained locked. Perhaps he wished to deepen his foundations first in the four elements? There were some bloodlines and clan techniques which could interact unfortunately with one's foundations. If he were taking such a prudent path, Daphne could only commend him, for many rushed to the next breakthrough without consideration for the larger picture.
Of course, she'd never ask him that until they were intimate! It was impolite to ask such things about someone's cultivation even between path friends.
"Lady Daphne?" Hadrian asked, taking a few steps towards her. "Are you feeling well?"
"Perfectly fine," Daphne replied.
"You looked distracted by something," he said.
"Really, I'm fine," Daphne said.
Before he could take another step closer, something green and spiked fell from the ceiling. Alice landed between them, upright as if by magic and no worse for falling. Daphne had learned many things about her catcus, including her remarkable ability to climb walls using those thorns of hers. They'd learned that the first time Maid had tried giving catcus a bath.
Hadrian stared at Alice. "A catcus? I wasn't aware you kept one as a pet."
"Alice is my familiar as of yesterday," Daphne said.
Hadrian knelt and held out a hand to the catcus.
"Be careful," Daphne said. "She's not fond of other people."
On cue, Alice let her spikes show, pricking Hadrian's hand and poking his most outstretched finger. Daphne spotted a thin pool of blood forming as she strode forward. "Alice, no!" Daphne said, as her large eyes peered at Daphne, asking if she'd done well. "Prince Hadrian is a friend."
Alice slunk away, in search of the warmest corner in the room. Daphne rolled her eyes as Alice settled on where her favorite silk cushion lay, perfectly positioned so that the light of the morning sun hit it.
"I'm sorry about that," Daphne said. "I haven't quite figured out how to get her to stop pricking anyone other than me."
Hadrian chuckled. "Don't worry about it. I should have known better really. Uncle's catcus is much the same and they like being touched as much as pineapple's do."
"At least let me take care of this for you," Daphne said, taking off her gloves and pressing her skin against his. He was warm to the touch. Water qi sprouted out of her fingers and covered his wound, willing it to knit itself shut. A unique application of water qi, to say the least, and one she'd quickly mastered upon learning of its existence. "I have to ask, what made you come visit me today of all days? It took me quite by surprise."
"I hadn't seen you in a while," Hadrian said. "And with the tournament coming up … well, I'd hate to distract you from your training, but also be deprived of your company. Now seemed like the best time to see you." His eyes locked with hers. "I hope I didn't cause any inconvenience?"
"None at all," Daphne said smoothly. They'd decided not to continue with today's training anyway after speaking with the archystor. The old master who'd be supervising them from now on couldn't make it today, but had promised to carve out time for them each day for the entirety of the coming week.
He stood, and pulled her up with him, before leading them to the sofa.
"Would you like anything to drink?" Daphne asked. It was a shame that she didn't have any aphrodisiacs on hand, but that was no excuse to forget her manners. A small mercy that Tracey was not around though, or she might think Daphne a hypocrite for not following her own advice on courtship.
"A glass of water would be lovely," Hadrian said.
Daphne nodded to Maid, and she left to see to it. His hands had never left hers, and Daphne couldn't say she honestly minded.
"Was it really so surprising that I'd visit you?" Hadrian asked.
"We don't know each other very well," Daphne said. Not that that was a necessary basis for romance between jade beauties and heroes.
"Then all the more reason that I do visit," Hadrian said with a full smile that reached his eyes. "We're only going to spend the rest of our lives together."
"Assuming the engagement is formalized," Daphne said.
His smile wilted. "Do you find the thought displeasing?" he asked. "I don't mean to impose on you, despite how quickly things might seem moving." His laugh was full of nervous energy. "I realize in hindsight it must be quite a shock that I'd ask you to marry me upon our second meeting."
Well, at least you asked, Daphne thought wryly. Some men never bothered even, and just took it for granted that any jade beauty would gladly dual cultivate with them. Such affairs were far more fun when both were willing. "I've no complaints about marrying you," Daphne assured him. "Only…"
"Only?"
"A proper suitor would have brought me to a restaurant by now," Daphne said.
"Oh?" Hadrian asked with furrowed brows, his ringed fingers intertwining with hers now. "I didn't think you'd like dining in the city. I can make arrangements."
She wasn't particularly fond of restaurants, but did you really know someone until you'd seen them smack down an arrogant young master? Where better to find them than a restaurant?
"Maybe not today," Daphne said. "After the tournament, when I win perhaps?"
"After the tournament, whether you win or not," Hadrian bargained.
"Whether I win or not," Daphne acquiesced. After all, she was confident of winning, so really meeting him halfway was just giving him some face and not real surrender.
Scopas
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2018
- Messages
- 1,390
- Likes received
- 23,690
Haha! Oh, man, the social misunderstandings will be bounteous! The fucking restaurant scene, battlefield of the ages! The food service workers in Daphne's original world must be more battle-hardened than your average soldier, considering the sheer amount of conflict that appears to occur at eateries.
I'm not sure what I think about the Prince now. The first scene we saw him in, at the dance, made it seem like he's like Prince Schniezel, from Code Geass - Intelligent, refined, frozen inside and interested solely in power and control. This scene makes him seem... Like that was a front, seeing how the slightest push-back from Daphne made his facade crumble. Also, that magic behind his eyes... I wonder if Daphne's right, about it being a lingering spell from eons ago, or if it's something particular to him? Also, who cast that spell, and who's looking through his eyes? That sounds like a possible source for concern.
Very interesting...
I'm not sure what I think about the Prince now. The first scene we saw him in, at the dance, made it seem like he's like Prince Schniezel, from Code Geass - Intelligent, refined, frozen inside and interested solely in power and control. This scene makes him seem... Like that was a front, seeing how the slightest push-back from Daphne made his facade crumble. Also, that magic behind his eyes... I wonder if Daphne's right, about it being a lingering spell from eons ago, or if it's something particular to him? Also, who cast that spell, and who's looking through his eyes? That sounds like a possible source for concern.
Very interesting...
Blundo
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2015
- Messages
- 1,038
- Likes received
- 13,546
Given his behavior at the ball and his behavior here, Hadrian strikes me as the stereotypical "ambitious prince vying for the throne" otome game capture target. Generally at least somewhat of a Schneizel-type yes, but a surprisingly honest romantic when it comes to the heroine. Though 90% of the time the heroine will not realize this, because misunderstandings are necessary.
Very funny fic in general. Nice collision of the villainess-reincarnation breed of stereotypical otome game world and a character from a borderline-parody stereotypical Xianxia world. Pretty refreshing too, given that as a Xianxia character Daphne is genuinely somewhat villainous, which is a very nice contrast from the villainess-reincarnation norm of 'generically nice girl with conveniently useful metaknowledge/hobby/career'. The misunderstandings feel reasonably natural, and it's fun to see the reborn character be the one from the more insane world for a change.
The "to be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty" meme passage during her qi awakening was a good signal of how seriously to take this story, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I will admit however that borderline-crack as this is, it's a little distracting seeing "Daphne, Tracey, and Blaise" floating around as a constant reference to questionable quality Harry Potter fanfic. Tracey especially stands out, it doesn't feel entirely natural as a name someone from a Xianxia world would assign someone, coming off as a bit shoehorned.
Edit: Oh god, just realized the Prince's name is "Hadrian", dude you can't do this to me, I'm getting PTSD flashbacks to 2014 Haphne fanfic.
Very funny fic in general. Nice collision of the villainess-reincarnation breed of stereotypical otome game world and a character from a borderline-parody stereotypical Xianxia world. Pretty refreshing too, given that as a Xianxia character Daphne is genuinely somewhat villainous, which is a very nice contrast from the villainess-reincarnation norm of 'generically nice girl with conveniently useful metaknowledge/hobby/career'. The misunderstandings feel reasonably natural, and it's fun to see the reborn character be the one from the more insane world for a change.
The "to be fair, you need a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty" meme passage during her qi awakening was a good signal of how seriously to take this story, and I don't mean that in a bad way. I will admit however that borderline-crack as this is, it's a little distracting seeing "Daphne, Tracey, and Blaise" floating around as a constant reference to questionable quality Harry Potter fanfic. Tracey especially stands out, it doesn't feel entirely natural as a name someone from a Xianxia world would assign someone, coming off as a bit shoehorned.
Edit: Oh god, just realized the Prince's name is "Hadrian", dude you can't do this to me, I'm getting PTSD flashbacks to 2014 Haphne fanfic.
Last edited:
Autocorruptor
Corrupting Innocent Grammar
- Joined
- Sep 1, 2020
- Messages
- 3,276
- Likes received
- 56,213
I would just like to point out that pineapples are real pets in this world. Pineapples.
Hahahahaha! I have a feeling that Maid is working very hard to keep aphrodisiacs away from Daphne.
Halt
Making the rounds.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
- Messages
- 33
- Likes received
- 1,111
Never forget one's foundation! But yeah, it's especially Tracey seems out of place as names for a xianxia setting. I justify it to myself as one of the rare instances she's drawing on original Daphne's instincts rather than her own, because I've basically wiped out any Chinese sounding names for the reason that I... don't really know how they name people.
Also, I had a sidebet with someone wondering how long it would take for people to call out the HP refences. QQ did quite well at that comparative to other boards despite the smaller audience here lol
Blundo
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2015
- Messages
- 1,038
- Likes received
- 13,546
For an expert such as myself, recognizing these references is as easy as lifting a hand. Her family name was revealed as Greenglade and in the time it takes to take a breath, I knew what was afoot!
They're everywhere once you see one of them. The mention of being a Master of Death in her dream quest for instance, shortly before the "To be fair..." meme. Ordinarily your limbs and cultivation would be crippled, and your family subjected to the nine familial exterminations for this behavior. But though this would be as simple as crushing dry weeds and smashing rotten wood, you may rejoice. I, your grandfather, will magnanimously overlook it for as long as the fic remains entertaining.
25: Old Monsters
Halt
Making the rounds.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
- Messages
- 33
- Likes received
- 1,111
Chapter 25: Old Monsters
The day came at last for Daphne to meet the old monster assigned to watch over her cultivation. He was a middle-aged looking man with a clean-shaven face, and certainly did not fit the image of the old monsters of her old realm who liked to sport long, flowing beards. That did not matter to her though. Young men could be old monsters too, for age was just a number.
"This one is honored to meet you, Polihystor Filip," Daphne said.
"Likewise, Lady Daphne," Filip said, speaking with the gentle air of a scholar, but the gentlest facades were the most dangerous sort in Daphne's experience. It would not stop them from killing several people. "Shall we see to the oaths?"
"The sooner the better," Blaise said from beside her.
Daphne nodded. These people and their obsession with oaths and ceremonies and invoking deities. Would any of those truly bind a cultivator to their word? In the end, the only way of holding someone to their promise was to be strong, so that any betrayal could be met with overwhelming force!
She would have preferred to stay in closed door cultivation instead of attending, but Blaise had somehow known her thoughts and broken into her room, demanding that she attend and preventing her from meditating. So here she was now, standing before the marble edifice of an ancient sect elder.
"Bear witness to my oaths, gods great and small," Filip began. "I, Polihystor Filip, do swear this of my own free will, in good faith and without deceit before the honorable stoneborn present. I swear this on the likeness of Sybil the Schoolmistress, and on my place in the Middle School. I shall keep the spell secrets that I might learn from Lady Daphne of House Greenglade, and never shall I pass on what I have learned from our time together. By the Great Gods Above and Divine Syngian, may this oath bind me to my dying day, or smite me with lightning if I forswear."
Daphne frowned. Inviting tribulation lightning hardly seemed like a punishment at all!
"Let it be so," Blaise said, nudging her in the side with the sharp of his elbow.
"Let it be so," Daphne grudgingly said.
"It is done," Filip said. "Now, let's see to your training shall we? Is there anywhere in particular you prefer to train?"
"My room usually," Daphne said. "I would not cause the cultivation of my juniors to deviate by placing them in an environment filled with distractions."
Filip blinked at her, as if taking a moment to parse her words. "Are you not worried about the potential damage your residence might suffer if a spell should misfire?"
"We're not quite at that level yet according to Daphne," Blaise grumbled. "She has us doing mental exercises."
"I see," Filip said. "An odd approach to spells, but not unheard of. Lead the way then."
As they walked along the dirt paths of the Middle School, the sounds of steel on steel rang in the air. Students practiced in pairs with blunted steel, though occasionally there were a few outliers. One boy in particular held a thin curved sword in a two-handed grip, staring down at a block of wood too far to physically hit. Layer upon layer of wind qi was shaped into the edge of his blade, before he took a single step forward and released it against the wood.
That it sliced through the wood was expected. That it had left behind a crude wooden figurine was not.
"A wasteful technique," Daphne said. The boy had expended a significant amount of qi with that one strike.
"It's not meant for actual combat," Blaise said, after following her gaze. "That particular technique is an advanced training technique to help hone one's control over wind."
"I'm surprised you're not familiar with it considering who your mother is," Filip said, raising a brow at her.
"My cousin has only recently taken an interest in martial pursuits," Blaise said.
"Ah," Filip said, as if that explained everything. "An understandable change, I suppose, considering recent events."
They passed by a few more sights—a girl kneeling by some rose bushes, whispering to the wilting flowers as if to coax them back to life. A boy seated next to a fountain had a book in hand, though was more watching than reading it. The air above the book rippled with heated qi, and an illusory battlefield viewed from the sky played out.
When they reached Daphne's room at last, Tracey was already in a meditative stance like a good disciple. A shame that there were no lotus trees to be had here to complete the picture, but perhaps Daphne could have one commissioned as a painting?
Filip waited for the door to shut behind them before getting to business. "I must confess that I haven't heard much about this spell of yours beyond requiring the use of some pills?"
"That's correct," Daphne said.
Maid brought out the pills, handing that and a glass of water to Blaise and Tracey each. Daphne sealed the pair of them in a dome of silence, surrounded by her wind qi. She could not keep it up long, but the first few minutes of meditation had an outstated effect on the quality of a cultivation session.
"I suppose I don't have to warn you of the dangers of relying on such substances?" Filip asked. "While I believe it isn't addictive due to the body's tolerance, any spell that requires it to be activated would have limited applications. You'll need much higher doses after only a few days of repeated use, making it impractical."
Daphne nodded. Though she had never heard it phrased in such terms, the effectiveness of alchemical pills was known to bleed off with daily use. After all, if the qi was not properly integrated into one's dantian core, ingesting more qi would just be like food at a restaurant scuffle—nothing but spillage. "Not to worry," Daphne said. "It is a learning aid to help one sense what they need to, but is not needed for use of the technique."
"This must be some technique if you're practicing this for the tournament," Filip said.
"I believe it is foundational," Daphne said. Could she train Tracey in the taolu of martial arts? Certainly, but it was the work of months and years so that the flowing style of the Elegant Swan Sect became second nature. Teaching them that style would not help them in the tournament.
"An unorthodox view," Filip said. "So what is it exactly that your spell can do?"
Daphne turned her head, looking into his green, almond-shaped eyes. "It will let you see the flow of magic."
His brows scrunched together. "Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
Daphne nodded.
"That would have incredible synergy with the signature spell already in your family's grimoire," Filip said. "Did you design it with that in mind?"
Daphne shrugged. "I can't say I did."
"Perhaps I shouldn't be surprised that you've tended towards this sort of spell," Filip said.
It was Daphne's turn to scrunch her brows together. "What do you mean?"
"When you did not wake last year, there were concerns raised by your family," Filip said. "Fears which I cannot say are unfounded considering the history of the stoneborn. It was thought that someone had plotted to puppet your body. That was, after all, why we sent you home so quickly."
"I do not follow," Daphne said.
"There are few spells which will allow one to steal into your body, and almost all of them would have needed unfettered access to it. By hiding you away deep within your family's keep, behind walls and wards, it would have been impossible for anyone intending that to succeed without notice," Filip said.
"You seem sure of that," Daphne said. Was that not exactly what had happened? Her soul now resided in this body.
"Magic has come a long way since the time of Empress Karah three hundred years ago," Filip said. "We have means of detecting the residue left behind by such spellcraft."
"And such tests were conducted on me?" Daphne asked with a smile. It was always amusing to hear how a few hundred years was a long time to these people.
Filip nodded. "So I've heard from the archystor. So have you done any testing with this spell of yours?"
"What sort of tests?" Daphne replied as she pondered on his words. Perhaps she had become like those old monsters who could inhabit the bodies of others? Only she could not recall having struggled to take over this body, not even a little.
"Can it see through illusions for example?" Filip asked. "Or detect runes with it?"
"I don't know," Daphne said.
"Something to cover the next time we meet then," Filip said. "It's important to understand the limits of your spells."
She nodded absently at his words.
AN:
Link to my Discord
So yeah, I'm still alive. Sorry that updates have been becoming more sporadic, but I feel like the story is starting to run into the problem all satires do eventually. It starts becoming marginally less funny with each update (which is just par for the course for the genre, it's nearly impossible to keep up this sort of content for a very long period of time as jokes get old).
On the other hand, trying to turn the story serious is where I've seen a lot of stories in the genre fail (it's fundamentally breaking the promise set out by the story).
twinesper
Getting some practice in, huh?
- Joined
- Apr 15, 2015
- Messages
- 8
- Likes received
- 28
That is a difficult conundrum, but it is also natural progression in this case. I think so long as she is adapting within context of the new setting, even if the satire elements reduce the story should remain engaging.
Scopas
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2018
- Messages
- 1,390
- Likes received
- 23,690
Well, that's a fair point. I'd say that the last couple of chapters have leaned more into serious plot development, but I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing. While I enjoy the humor and the mockery of overused tropes, this story has managed to interest me enough that a turn towards a more serious plot line wouldn't reduce my interest.
Either way, it's good to see another update of our favorite ivory sociopath's adventures!
Either way, it's good to see another update of our favorite ivory sociopath's adventures!
Mastigos2
Versed in the lewd.
- Joined
- Jan 13, 2015
- Messages
- 1,168
- Likes received
- 8,477
I'm honestly interested in the plot and setting now.
Priapus
Engorged member
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2014
- Messages
- 8,003
- Likes received
- 40,636
I think it would have been easier to transition the story to something serious if the MC was more of a character and less of a walking meme.
That's jot to say that it wouldn't make the transition. Her having other characters that she meaningfully plays off is starting to make it interesting in its own right.
That's jot to say that it wouldn't make the transition. Her having other characters that she meaningfully plays off is starting to make it interesting in its own right.
26: Literally Filler
Halt
Making the rounds.
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2015
- Messages
- 33
- Likes received
- 1,111
Chapter 26: Literally Filler
The Middle School was a fief in itself, though its stewardship of many li of farms and towns was passed down through ties of blood, but by the old monsters selecting one among their number to lead. Farms were necessary to feed those pitiful sect disciples who had yet to reach the core formation stage, while the tribute of the towns came in kin and kind. A sect had a voracious appetite for servants and all sorts of specialized goods necessary to further their cultivation arts.
Of course, if Daphne had to pick which of the two were more important, it was inarguably the towns. It was fine if the farms burned and others starved, but it was unforgivable to live in squalor without tribute.
It was to one such town now that Daphne traveled towards in her carriage, accompanied by her usual entourage of Tracey, Maid, and Broken Nose.
Daphne squinted at the man in question. His nose had actually healed quite nicely in the last few days since she'd done him the favor of aligning his crooked nose. Truly her magnanimity was without bound.
It did, however, present her with a perplexing problem. What ought she call him now? Broken Nose was no longer descriptive of his state.
Should I break it again? Daphne wondered to herself.
"Is there something on my face, m'lady?" the former bandit asked.
"I'm pondering what to call you now that your nose is fixed," she said.
"My name's Rhian."
She blinked. "How is that relevant?" He was no hero, and he was definitely no jade beauty, thus he was entirely undeserving of a name. That he was even called anything was merely due to her bestowing him the grace of serving her.
"Do you hate me that much that you won't call me my name?" he whined.
"I don't hate you," Daphne said. "That would imply you're important enough in my life to hate."
"My lady still calls me Maid," Maid said helpfully.
"Her name's not even Tracey either," Broken Nose said, looking at Tracey.
"It is now," Tracey said.
"Your protests are duly noted and ignored," Daphne said with a wave of her hand. Could one's opinion even be heard if they were neither hero nor misstocrat? Else how could one explain how heroes did not go deaf after so much screaming from so many young masters?
"Why are we going into town today anyway, Lady Daphne?" Tracey asked, utterly unfazed by her words. It was good that her protege was quickly learning her place in the world.
"We are going to a restaurant so that you might learn."
Tracey tilted her head. "But I'm not hungry."
Daphne rolled her eyes. "You don't go to a restaurant to eat." Honestly, she sounded like an outer court disciple right now. After one reached the core formation stage, it was sufficient to nourish one's body with alchemical pills and qi absorption. This wasn't, of course, to say that young masters and jade beauties simply stopped going to restaurants, and one might argue that had never been the point.
Rather, they went either to court, or to court death.
In Tracey's case, it was the former. "The true test of a jade beauty," Daphne continued, "is to see if someone is willing to kill for you."
"What."
"Don't worry," Daphne said. "You're still in training. I merely wish to see how far you've progressed in your cultivation." She paused for a moment to think. "A mere maiming will suffice for today."
Tracey looked uncertain. "This is also cultivation?"
"Everything I make you do is cultivation," Daphne said. "There are many daos in the world, and who can say which dao is most right for them from birth?"
"Yes, Lady Daphne," Tracey said.
"It's a shame Blaise couldn't come," Daphne said, looking out the window as they crossed into the town proper—with fields and orchards turning into wooden houses and small storefronts. Her cousin had begged off for the day, stating a need to practice his sword intent for the upcoming tournament. The sword dao was a fine path to walk, but it was not foundational in the way restaurant encounters were, and he was still sorely lacking in experience.
After all, every hero's story involved at least one of those, but not every hero used a sword.
"The tournament is important to Lord Blaise as well," Tracey said. "His performance will also reflect on House Greenglade's standing."
"A fair point," Daphne said.
The carriage came to a halt before the Blue Rose, an establishment whose walls were more glass than wood. Being one of the closest towns to the Middle School, many students could be seen lounging inside the restaurant, each one dressed immaculately in their finest clothes for the peasants to gawk at.
Daphne wholly approved of the practice. It was not enough to be wealthy—others must be made painfully aware that one was wealthy.
As they entered the restaurant, the dim buzz of conversation quieted, with both the men and women staring at her. It was good that they knew how to appreciate beauty, but they were also toads lusting after swan meat.
"Everyone's staring at you," Tracey said, fidgeting.
"Good. That means they aren't blind," Daphne said. Staring at her was the natural state of most people in her presence. As soon as they were seated by a server, Daphne raked her eyes over Tracey's form. "Now, while you might not do much eating in a restaurant, it is of utmost importance that you still adhere to the proper etiquettes. It is only through this that you might distinguish yourself as a refined jade beauty rather than an unpolished gem, of which there are many in the world."
She unfolded her napkin with supreme grace to demonstrate her point, and was pleased to see Tracey imitating her actions.
Daphne spoke at length to Tracey while Maid and Broken Nose were seated at a side table to wait on them. They covered the correct use of silverware—such as using the outermost utensils first and working one's way in, and the optimal way to hold a knife when blinding a toad to Mount Tai.
"One must be efficient and graceful in all things," Daphne said as the salads were taken away and a dish of steamed fish took its place. The brown-skinned girl seemed to enjoy the food. Daphne thought it was just fine. "Killing is despicable. Looking good while you do it is admirable."
"Yes, my lady," Tracey said.
As they ate, Daphne spotted a carriage approaching rapidly from the corner of her qi-enhanced eyes. There were no old monsters nearby, but she knew what a panicked horse looked like even from a distance. "Excuse me for a moment," Daphne said, setting the napkin on her lap to the side of her plate before leaving the restaurant.
She did not run so much as glide out though. People seemed to finally take notice of the carriage barreling down the dirt street uncontrollably, and moved out of its way.
Everyone save for a grandmother hobbling forward with a wooden cane.
Daphne took a step forward to grab hold of the wrinkled skin, before pivoting on her other heel to narrowly avoid being bruised by the rushing horses. Oh, and the grandmother was fine too, she supposed.
"You are not to die before I allow it," Daphne said.
The grandmother blinked up at Daphne, looking quite shaken. "Countless thanks, my lady! My life is in your hands."
Daphne nodded, a twinge of annoyance crossing her face at the obvious statement. She was a jade beauty, second only to the hero in the hierarchy of the world. Of course the woman's life was in her hands—everyone's was.
She glanced at the carriage and noticed that it carried the sigil of an anchor, but that was not any lordly house that she knew of.
"Lady Daphne!" Maid exclaimed as she rushed out of the restaurant after her. "Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?"
The grandmother looked frightfully pale at Maid's words.
"I am unharmed," Daphne said, flicking her hair behind her with practiced ease. As was befitting her status, there was even a slight gust of wind to accentuate the look.
A man came rushing forth and kowtowed before Daphne. Not a bow, or a curtsey, but an honest to goodness kowtow—forehead to the ground and all. It had been a while since she enjoyed one of those. "Syngian bless you for saving my mother! Syngian bless you!"
"Think nothing of it," Daphne said. She turned to Maid. "Let's return."
"Begging for a moment please, m'lady," the man said. "We're but a poor family, and I know we have nothing of true worth to show our gratitude, but the Divine Syngian teaches us to do our best in this regard. Please, take this at least."
In his hands was a crescent-shaped slice of fruit that Daphne would've recognized anywhere. It had a luscious green skin, while its insides were a juicy red.
"You sell these?" Daphne asked, accepting the fruit.
The man nodded hesitantly.
She took a small bite out of the watermelon, enjoying the refreshing and mild taste cleansing her palette. It tasted like the end of a scorching summer day, and of long hours toiled. It was cool as a village's stream and sweet as Mother's song. Daphne took another larger bite out of it.
"My lady? You're..." Maid trailed off, as if not daring to finish her sentence.
Daphne blinked, wiping at her cheek with her sleeve. "It tastes like home," she said softly.
"Watermelons aren't native to Green Glade," Maid said.
"I know," Daphne answered sadly.
As for what I've been up to since last time, well I finally went public with a political intrigue story "The Lady's Handbook of Intrigue and Murder" on RoyalRoad (also on SB). This is set in the same world as These Heels Step Heavenward, though it's less satire and more serious.
If like me, you've ever wondered what Cersei (from Game of Thrones) would be like if she wasn't a moron, or if you're just craving good political intrigue (or want to see cool pegasi knights throwing magic javelins at peasants), then you might like this. It's the politics of GoT with the magic of Harry Potter.
The Middle School was a fief in itself, though its stewardship of many li of farms and towns was passed down through ties of blood, but by the old monsters selecting one among their number to lead. Farms were necessary to feed those pitiful sect disciples who had yet to reach the core formation stage, while the tribute of the towns came in kin and kind. A sect had a voracious appetite for servants and all sorts of specialized goods necessary to further their cultivation arts.
Of course, if Daphne had to pick which of the two were more important, it was inarguably the towns. It was fine if the farms burned and others starved, but it was unforgivable to live in squalor without tribute.
It was to one such town now that Daphne traveled towards in her carriage, accompanied by her usual entourage of Tracey, Maid, and Broken Nose.
Daphne squinted at the man in question. His nose had actually healed quite nicely in the last few days since she'd done him the favor of aligning his crooked nose. Truly her magnanimity was without bound.
It did, however, present her with a perplexing problem. What ought she call him now? Broken Nose was no longer descriptive of his state.
Should I break it again? Daphne wondered to herself.
"Is there something on my face, m'lady?" the former bandit asked.
"I'm pondering what to call you now that your nose is fixed," she said.
"My name's Rhian."
She blinked. "How is that relevant?" He was no hero, and he was definitely no jade beauty, thus he was entirely undeserving of a name. That he was even called anything was merely due to her bestowing him the grace of serving her.
"Do you hate me that much that you won't call me my name?" he whined.
"I don't hate you," Daphne said. "That would imply you're important enough in my life to hate."
"My lady still calls me Maid," Maid said helpfully.
"Her name's not even Tracey either," Broken Nose said, looking at Tracey.
"It is now," Tracey said.
"Your protests are duly noted and ignored," Daphne said with a wave of her hand. Could one's opinion even be heard if they were neither hero nor misstocrat? Else how could one explain how heroes did not go deaf after so much screaming from so many young masters?
"Why are we going into town today anyway, Lady Daphne?" Tracey asked, utterly unfazed by her words. It was good that her protege was quickly learning her place in the world.
"We are going to a restaurant so that you might learn."
Tracey tilted her head. "But I'm not hungry."
Daphne rolled her eyes. "You don't go to a restaurant to eat." Honestly, she sounded like an outer court disciple right now. After one reached the core formation stage, it was sufficient to nourish one's body with alchemical pills and qi absorption. This wasn't, of course, to say that young masters and jade beauties simply stopped going to restaurants, and one might argue that had never been the point.
Rather, they went either to court, or to court death.
In Tracey's case, it was the former. "The true test of a jade beauty," Daphne continued, "is to see if someone is willing to kill for you."
"What."
"Don't worry," Daphne said. "You're still in training. I merely wish to see how far you've progressed in your cultivation." She paused for a moment to think. "A mere maiming will suffice for today."
Tracey looked uncertain. "This is also cultivation?"
"Everything I make you do is cultivation," Daphne said. "There are many daos in the world, and who can say which dao is most right for them from birth?"
"Yes, Lady Daphne," Tracey said.
"It's a shame Blaise couldn't come," Daphne said, looking out the window as they crossed into the town proper—with fields and orchards turning into wooden houses and small storefronts. Her cousin had begged off for the day, stating a need to practice his sword intent for the upcoming tournament. The sword dao was a fine path to walk, but it was not foundational in the way restaurant encounters were, and he was still sorely lacking in experience.
After all, every hero's story involved at least one of those, but not every hero used a sword.
"The tournament is important to Lord Blaise as well," Tracey said. "His performance will also reflect on House Greenglade's standing."
"A fair point," Daphne said.
The carriage came to a halt before the Blue Rose, an establishment whose walls were more glass than wood. Being one of the closest towns to the Middle School, many students could be seen lounging inside the restaurant, each one dressed immaculately in their finest clothes for the peasants to gawk at.
Daphne wholly approved of the practice. It was not enough to be wealthy—others must be made painfully aware that one was wealthy.
As they entered the restaurant, the dim buzz of conversation quieted, with both the men and women staring at her. It was good that they knew how to appreciate beauty, but they were also toads lusting after swan meat.
"Everyone's staring at you," Tracey said, fidgeting.
"Good. That means they aren't blind," Daphne said. Staring at her was the natural state of most people in her presence. As soon as they were seated by a server, Daphne raked her eyes over Tracey's form. "Now, while you might not do much eating in a restaurant, it is of utmost importance that you still adhere to the proper etiquettes. It is only through this that you might distinguish yourself as a refined jade beauty rather than an unpolished gem, of which there are many in the world."
She unfolded her napkin with supreme grace to demonstrate her point, and was pleased to see Tracey imitating her actions.
Daphne spoke at length to Tracey while Maid and Broken Nose were seated at a side table to wait on them. They covered the correct use of silverware—such as using the outermost utensils first and working one's way in, and the optimal way to hold a knife when blinding a toad to Mount Tai.
"One must be efficient and graceful in all things," Daphne said as the salads were taken away and a dish of steamed fish took its place. The brown-skinned girl seemed to enjoy the food. Daphne thought it was just fine. "Killing is despicable. Looking good while you do it is admirable."
"Yes, my lady," Tracey said.
As they ate, Daphne spotted a carriage approaching rapidly from the corner of her qi-enhanced eyes. There were no old monsters nearby, but she knew what a panicked horse looked like even from a distance. "Excuse me for a moment," Daphne said, setting the napkin on her lap to the side of her plate before leaving the restaurant.
She did not run so much as glide out though. People seemed to finally take notice of the carriage barreling down the dirt street uncontrollably, and moved out of its way.
Everyone save for a grandmother hobbling forward with a wooden cane.
Daphne took a step forward to grab hold of the wrinkled skin, before pivoting on her other heel to narrowly avoid being bruised by the rushing horses. Oh, and the grandmother was fine too, she supposed.
"You are not to die before I allow it," Daphne said.
The grandmother blinked up at Daphne, looking quite shaken. "Countless thanks, my lady! My life is in your hands."
Daphne nodded, a twinge of annoyance crossing her face at the obvious statement. She was a jade beauty, second only to the hero in the hierarchy of the world. Of course the woman's life was in her hands—everyone's was.
She glanced at the carriage and noticed that it carried the sigil of an anchor, but that was not any lordly house that she knew of.
"Lady Daphne!" Maid exclaimed as she rushed out of the restaurant after her. "Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?"
The grandmother looked frightfully pale at Maid's words.
"I am unharmed," Daphne said, flicking her hair behind her with practiced ease. As was befitting her status, there was even a slight gust of wind to accentuate the look.
A man came rushing forth and kowtowed before Daphne. Not a bow, or a curtsey, but an honest to goodness kowtow—forehead to the ground and all. It had been a while since she enjoyed one of those. "Syngian bless you for saving my mother! Syngian bless you!"
"Think nothing of it," Daphne said. She turned to Maid. "Let's return."
"Begging for a moment please, m'lady," the man said. "We're but a poor family, and I know we have nothing of true worth to show our gratitude, but the Divine Syngian teaches us to do our best in this regard. Please, take this at least."
In his hands was a crescent-shaped slice of fruit that Daphne would've recognized anywhere. It had a luscious green skin, while its insides were a juicy red.
"You sell these?" Daphne asked, accepting the fruit.
The man nodded hesitantly.
She took a small bite out of the watermelon, enjoying the refreshing and mild taste cleansing her palette. It tasted like the end of a scorching summer day, and of long hours toiled. It was cool as a village's stream and sweet as Mother's song. Daphne took another larger bite out of it.
"My lady? You're..." Maid trailed off, as if not daring to finish her sentence.
Daphne blinked, wiping at her cheek with her sleeve. "It tastes like home," she said softly.
"Watermelons aren't native to Green Glade," Maid said.
"I know," Daphne answered sadly.
As for what I've been up to since last time, well I finally went public with a political intrigue story "The Lady's Handbook of Intrigue and Murder" on RoyalRoad (also on SB). This is set in the same world as These Heels Step Heavenward, though it's less satire and more serious.
If like me, you've ever wondered what Cersei (from Game of Thrones) would be like if she wasn't a moron, or if you're just craving good political intrigue (or want to see cool pegasi knights throwing magic javelins at peasants), then you might like this. It's the politics of GoT with the magic of Harry Potter.
Last edited:
Priapus
Engorged member
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2014
- Messages
- 8,003
- Likes received
- 40,636
And just like that, I am on board again, and remember why I loved this story!
Hypervane
"Magic Eight Ball, Lend Me Your Wisdom."
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2017
- Messages
- 975
- Likes received
- 19,170
The next time Tracy or 'the former bandit' (who Daphne probably ignored this entire chapter after she couldn't come up with a name) feel like they mess up:
Now that's a perfect reintroduction to the story. A brief peek underneath the mask of the perfect jade beauty!
All your stories are amazingly well-written, but I do have a special fondness for this one, even if objectively speaking it pales in comparison to your other fics. It got me into reading Xianxia, hilariously enough! I'll go check out your original fiction at some, when I've more free time; I'm sure it won't disappoint!
