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This CYOA is harder than expected [Actually dangerous CYOA ideas and snips]

Discussion in 'CW Index' started by Pinklestia, Jun 14, 2020.

  1. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    Basically my idea is to make a hard CYOA because regular ones suck.

    Example snip:

    Okay let's see, only [Easy] and [Normal] are unlocked... what the hell? You start [Normal] with minus ten points?

    [Easy] starts with minus five? Who the hell wrote this thing? Oh there is a [Super Easy] mode were you start at zero points. Let's see...

    "[Super Easy] mode doesn't give you any rewards but at least you don't get erased from existence if you fail-"

    What? What kind of fucked up CYOA is this? I better read everything first!

    Okay, [Normal] mode starts you with minus ten points and gives you a single reward for finishing all the tasks in that World. If you fail a task you get erased from existence.

    [Easy] mode starts you at minus five points, you have the double the time to complete the tasks but if you fail you get erased from existence. You also only get a reward every three worlds you have completed tasks in. Oh and you have way more tasks to do, three times more to be exact.

    [Super Easy] mode starts at zero points, you get no rewards but also don't get punished by being erased from existence. Instead you... get sent to Hell for a thousand years if you fail? Oh, no time limit, but some tasks still can only be completed at a determined point. And you get so many tasks is ridiculous.

    Fuck, I don't want to fill this but that asshole will kill me if I don't.

    Okay picking [Super Easy] mode.

    Now let's see whar flaws I can pick so I can get points.

    Fuck! No flaw gives more then three points and the three points ones are quite bad. [Hated by the whole world]? [Incurable deadly disease]? The person who wrote this is definitely evil!

    Let's see the two point flaws...

    [Blind]... not a good idea to be blind unless I end in one of those rare worlds were there is some awesome blind dominant species.

    Maybe [Deaf]? Lets see the explanation before I pick it, I am quite sure that you can't backtrack ir you screw up.

    What? Incurable while still in the world?

    Nope, no sir, I do not want to end in a world who can cure anything and me having something they cannot cure.

    There is also power limiters and drawbacks to using powers but like hell I am gonna pick something like only being able to use my superpowers one hour a day. And that's the nicest you can get of the two points ones!

    And this is in the [Super Easy] mode, the flaws in Normal must be a nightmare.

    Let's see the one point flaws...

    [By Night]? That one means I can only use powers at night. Well that's more reasonable than just one hour, I just have to pick a World were people with powers are mostly active at night, or only active at night to compensate.

    Goes on the maybe list.

    Let's see what else...

    [Different body], it changes gender, race and even species at random but thankful only does that once by World. It only changes species if there is more than one dominant species. So if I pick a World were only humans are the dominant species I won't chance species. But if I pick something like a Dungeon and Dragons setting this could get quite bad.

    Whatever, still gonna pick it, at least is not brainwashing.

    [Late Puberty]? Well it gives a minus in in all stats but mental ones but then once I finally get puberty I get a bonus and end better than without the flaw, just makes me having to train a lot more.

    That's three points, picking them.

    Oh it tingles a bit!

    Now let's see what powers I can pick with just three points.

    Yes, maybe I should have checked that before picking flaws but I had to pick flaws anyway so whatever, also this thing is basically as long as a novel, so I am just doing the best I can with what little time I have.

    The asshole with a gun only have me a hour after all!

    Okay three point powers... Apparently that's the minimum, no one point powers.

    You know what I am going to pick the safest World I can first then go back to the powers.

    Mmm, only three safe Worlds... it says here I only get them because is Super Easy mode.

    [PJ Masks]

    That's a maybe, even the bad guys don't go to jail there.

    [Classic Carebears]

    Fuck no, I don't want to get brainwashed!

    [WordGirl]

    Not bad but bad guys go to jail there.

    Okay [PJ Masks] it is.

    Now let's see powers...

    All powers now have the "Only works at night" tag, probably because that's how it works in PJ Masks but I bought that flaw already so no problem for me. Also unlike the flaw it only applies to this World.

    I won't get any rewards, do at least get something for finishing everything in a World?

    Oh, completing all the tasks in a World gives me the ability to remove a single flaw. I wonder why it says all tasks if I get punished with Hell for failing even a single one.

    Oh, there is Bonus tasks that are not obligatory, good to know.

    What, the flaws last more than one world? Damm it! Why doesn't this stupid book have an index?

    So that means I should pick a power that will be useful for several Worlds.

    But the three point powers are barely powers, more like things people can get naturally even in worlds without powers.

    Whatever, I think [Natural Born athlete] is good even with my only works at night flaw.

    It gives me a huge bonus in any kind of sport, but just one by World.

    And Martial Arts count as sports but I can only pick one.

    Mmm, Karate can be learned from a young age, and focuses on strikes. Is also not that hard for kids to learn, so it will be less eye catching to be good at it. Some of the more modern styles also involve grappling, throws, restraints and other things so it definitely will keep being useful. Of course with my late puberty flaw I don't think I will win most fights but I picked a safe World anyway.

    So Karate it is.

    "I am done." I say, close the book and lock it with the key the asshole have me.

    I wonder how-

    ****

    Okay that freaking hurt!

    Let's see, I... I am a girl, not bad but not being as strong as a boy definitely won't help.

    What else?

    Mmm, nice clothes, do I have a status windows or something?

    Oh there is a book that says "read Me" over my bed, better do that.

    "Name: Lily Lee.

    Gender: Female.

    ???: Chinese-American.

    Age: Five years old.

    Powers: [Natural Born athlete: Karate]

    Flaws: [Different body] [Late Puberty] [By Night]

    Current World: [PJ Masks:Safe]

    Tasks: ???"

    The rest of the book can't be read, what the heck? Not only this thing is unfair, is also faulty?

    AN: Please give me ideas and suggestions. Do note that being sent to Hell and or erased from existence exist to make the CYOA unfair, same for the whole "can't quit thing".
     
  2. Ayashi

    Ayashi Well worn.

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    The base idea is good, but let's be honest, this is still going to be a story. Since you're going with the theme of hard decisions and actual danger you need to plan out what will happen when the protag fails. Of course there's always in-world failures like going to jail, torture or (since this is QQ) rape, but protag perma-death is just not believable for the reader. Protag getting erased from existence is simply never going to happen.
    I think rather than unrealistic fail conditions that will obviously never happen (forcing you to write the protag as always successful no matter the odds or situation), you should go with realistic fail conditions that you can throw at the protag.


    For example:
    [Super Easy Mode] failure of any objective ejects you and forever bars you from that world/setting and alternative versions of it.
    [Easy Mode] failure of any objective ejects you and forever bars you from that world/setting.
    [Normal Mode] failure of a timed-objective ejects you from that world/setting and negates any effect(s) you had. Failure of an end-objective bars you from that world/setting.
    [Hard Mode] failure of three timed-objectives, or one-end objective, ejects/bars you from that world/setting.

    Alternatively, you could have a failure (to clear a world? of a timed objective?) drain you of one/two/three points, and since you (obviously) can only enter a new world if you have zero/positive points that would force your protag to pick more and more flaws.
     
  3. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    Well, the thing is.

    Would the reader care if all that happened fir failing was being banned from a World?

    I wouldn't.

    The second option is more interesting but... eh.

    Let's try this:

    [Normal] mode starts you with minus ten points and gives you a single reward for finishing all the tasks in that World. If you fail a task you get erased from existence.

    [Easy] mode starts you at minus five points, you have the double the time to complete the tasks but if you fail you go to Hell for an unknown amount of time based on Karma. You also only get a reward every three worlds you have completed tasks in. Oh and you have way more tasks to do, three times more to be exact.

    [Super Easy] mode starts at zero points, you get no rewards but also don't get punished by being erased from existence or sent to Hell instead you get minus ten points and can only enter that World again in [Normal] or harder.No time limit, but some tasks still can only be completed at a determined point. And you get so many tasks is ridiculous.

    You can't no longer return once you leave the World, even if you completed all tasks unless is on [Easy] difficulty or harder.

    ----

    Completing all tasks in a world, including bonus tasks, get you the ability to remove a single flaw. Flaws can also be removed by expending three times the points they cost.

    Flaws are permanent otherwise.

    At least five Words must have tasks completed in them without failing to be able to return home.

    You only keep any powers and knowledge you get back in your World if you got them in [Normal] mode or harder.

    Beware! If you don't erase all your flaws before going home you will take them with you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2020
    [Quixotic_being] and Ayashi like this.
  4. SheWhoWearsRed

    SheWhoWearsRed Your first time is always over so quickly, isn't it?

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    Since this seems like it’s supposed to be a story, the relevant issue is that the consequences of failure are so high that they conflict with reader expectations. Nobody expects the main characters of stories to die. That’s why stating pointlessly high consequences just defuses the tension and reduces interest by killing the suspension of disbelief.
     
  5. Pinklestia

    Pinklestia Experienced.

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    Nowadays I would with things being hard but not impossible. But definitely not the walk in the park CYOAs are 99% o the time.