Vain Prayers
You know those wish-fulfillment fantasies? It's something like that, except you wake up and realize that no, it's not a fantasy. Surprisingly, that's not a good thing either.
Back when we still lived together, my brothers and I often debated which was the best superpower to have. We all wrote fanfiction, of course we did. I can't remember what their choices were, but I always ended up debating with myself between time-stop and shadow clones. Even back then, the world was moving too fast for me.
I like my nap times, maybe because I don't often get to have them.
So now, staring down at a rough sheet of paper with my status written down on it, it took my remaining mental strength to not make some sort of undignified noise. Because there they were.
Kage Bushin no Jutsu
Magia Erebea
Akemi Homulily
The first one was self-explanatory, although in her haste, my goddess had not transcribed anything but the name. I wondered how handseals would translate, if they even would. The second one, well. Magia Erebea is, in my most subjective opinion, just plainly the most awesome, full of potential, broken magic ever. If I had to choose one spell, not power, to know, this would be the one. Unfortunately, my goddess was freaking out about it and had just scribbled the last one's name without any more clues. Something about a hole in my soul.
I was more worried about the last one, honestly. Puella magi were not a fun prospect in any way. Holes in my soul? I'll be lucky to keep the whole thing if this spell worked like I thought it might.
So how had I ended up here? In the second-floor storeroom of a bookshop in Orario, holding a piece of paper with the most ridiculous things written on it, while short but stacked Hestia herself paced around me, biting the ends of her hair in distress? I don't know.
Let's go back a couple of days.
+
There's a village in the Beor mountains, just a day or so away from Orario. Apparently, since that's where I woke up. It's fairly isolated, but actually, a fair number of ex-adventurers ended up retiring there. By which I mean, the washed up and drop outs. Beor is as monster invested as it gets near Orario and its bustling commerce. Pros, nobody will question my origin story. Cons, it's really not a good place.
So I came to Orario. What else was I supposed to do? I didn't even have a plan then. There were absolutely no clues that I had three overpowered spells somewhere in my soul. I was willing to start from the ground up as an apprentice or goffer.
I still went to the Guild first. There's a proper order to these things. And Hestia Familia sounded too good to pass up. It was probably my only chance at the adventurer gig.
It turned out that Hestia was still looking for her first member, something I picked up from a list of gods with no or small familias that were recruiting. Curious about the timeline, I inquired off the cuff, with the acting skills of a somebody who spent half their life hiding their screw ups from their family, if the members of familias were public knowledge.
The rank ups were. It stood to logic that that too did. And it did, even if consulting the books was an incredibly time-consuming process considering they are literally brick sized tomes. No, there were no convenient things like indexes, much less supernatural search bars. Naturally, it only had names, aliases, level and race (and sometimes not even that).
I looked through it. Loki's, in their resplandecent glory with a lot of high levels, Freya's too. Everything looked fine. But then I looked through Hephaestus, and I couldn't find him. So I looked again. I checked the other familias, and nothing.
Welf Crozzo of Hephaestus.
Liliruca Arde of Soma.
Yamato Mikoto of Takemikazuchi.
Sanjouno Haruhime of Ishtar.
Their names weren't there. They were not where they were supposed to be.
By that point I looked sufficiently freaked out that I attracted the attention of a guild member. I made something up about not finding people I was looking for. So he helped me. He clearly was more savvy than me because he did find Mikoto and Lili. In the obituaries.
One reported as dead by her disgrace of an excuse of a familia. Went with a party, party didn't return, she's dead now does that mean a few less members will lower our rankings and taxes? At least the other's body had returned, and her family had given her a grave with all the other adventurers.
I didn't hold a lot of hope for the other three members of Hestia Familia.
There's a weight to knowing you doomed something. Presumptuous maybe, to think I have that much control over my fate, or theirs. But people don't just pop into fantasy worlds without something. I didn't know what, but something.
I moped for a few hours. Found the cemetery, hunted around for the only grave that proved these people had existed, dropped two weedy flowers on it and moped a lot more. I still wasn't sure if I considered these people real or characters. And my level of emotional attachment to them was also frail, another problem I also had back on Earth. But I did feel a bit of duty, mixed with some self-preservation. I wasn't sure how much this would change the timeline, mostly because I didn't know the timeline. I really should have not based my media consumption on what fics I read.
Maybe I could do something. Maybe, maybe, I was capable of doing something. Really maybe… I should do something? Not sure.
However, right now there was a human who felt lost and desperately needed a roof over their head. And there was a goddess who was really lonely out there.
There were a lot of potato puff stalls in Orario. In the main streets you could have four or five to block. The sun slowly setting, I started seriously eyeing the gods and goddesses I could see out and about. Something about them just drew your eye. Still undecided on my agnostic feelings about that whole topic. Gods here didn't have the best reputation, not with the people who actually interacted a bit with them.
Then I stumbled upon Takemikazuchi, merrily garbed in a server's uniform, politely asking for my potato puff order. I stumbled. My heart skipped two beats. It was him. A Japanese man with a traditional hairstyle, deceptively broad-shouldered, calloused hands that didn't at all retract from his air of general divinity and perfection.
I'd always thought he sort of looked like a dad.
"Oh. I… ah." I am so sorry. So sorry but my head needs to be in the game. "S- Lord God, would you know where I could find Lady Hestia?"
Takemikazuchi blinked, then gave me a more attentive glance over. My spine straightened without permission as I stood almost at parade rest. "I do. What is your business with Hestia?"
"I heard she's looking for Familia members, right? And I'm looking for a god. A Familia. What- yeah." Do not 'whatever' in front of a martial god. He could kill a person with those tongues in his hand. "I heard good things about her."
"Really?" The god perked up, then immediately got suspicious. "From who?"
Hestia had good friends, but this was really underscoring how bad her reputation was in Orario. The dirt poor, lazy, mooching goddess. Was it an accurate representation of Hestia at this point in the timeline? Well yes. It was also an incomplete one. Hestia had depths. Or so I hoped.
Takemikazuchi had probably been expecting me to either lie or tell him the name of a god, Hermes' faker face came to mind, an adventurer… people who would cruelly play a prank on Hestia. The truth was: "Honestly, I just read about her. Legends, myths and other... stories. She seems like a good person… goddess."
"Oh." I had surprised Takemikazuchi, but pleasantly so. "Is that so. Well, I am almost finishing for the day. Give me just a moment!"
In five minutes, Takemikazuchi had wrangled an early leave from his boss and was directing me through a set of backstreets down from West Main, where I'd found him, all the way to North Main. We passed through several blocks in disrepair and dark alleys with suspicious individuals but Takemikazuchi exuded an aura that, beyond godly, told me and everybody that he could and would punch somebody's teeth in with their own fists. Just as impressive was how calm he managed to keep me as he interrogated me. All the way, a good twenty minutes minimum, he kept a steady but spaced out stream of questions about my background and motivations.
In hindsight, if I hadn't given him answers he liked, he could have taken any turn in those crooked streets and kept us walking for however long he wished. Or, you know, pinned me to the wall and squeezed the truth out of me.
As it was, he probably caught on to my evasiveness, but I restricted myself to the truth and a few uncomfortable no comment kind of answers. Like, I gave him the name of my birth town, it wasn't like he would have ever heard of it or would find it in a map, but I also preferred not to tell how big of a town it was. Keeping my motivations as honest as I possibly could might have moved him a bit. I was being entirely truthful when I said it was a mix of desperation, ambition, and guilt.
Takemikazuchi didn't ask me about what. I could hope he would forget. Let a person dream.
We did manage to catch Hestia just at the endtail of her workday. Hestia's figure was as… existing as I was expecting, and she was as short as the shortest person I'd known in person. In short, pun intended, she was eye-level with my collarbone. I noticed she didn't have her signature bells on. Maybe those came later?
"Hello." Takemikazuchi had given me a push and now we stood face to face, a grinning japanese god a few strides away. "Hi. So I heard you liked a Familia." Social anxiety, why? "I mean, I heard you were looking to start a Familia! Can I… join, Lady Hestia?"
The goddess looked up at me, eyes wide and mouth open. She looked between me and Takemikazuchi. "I didn't do anything, they were already looking for you when they came to me." He headed that off before Hestia could accuse him.
"Really?" She turned to me.
"Really really."
"I'm a poor goddess."
"I have 15 vals and the clothes on my back." I'd found two coins on the ground and that had been the luckiest I'd been all day. … I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets, I mean, potato puffs.
"I work at a jagamarukun stand all day."
"Okay?"
"I'm lazy and- I'm not good at anything in special."
Girl, if only you knew me. "Yep."
"And you want to be my Familia?"
"I do."
Then I almost had my ribs crushed by a wrestling-worthy hug, and before I could recover my breath she was dragging me away. I threw Takemikazuchi a wave of thanks before we were out of sight. Running through the streets of late afternoon Orario, Hestia dragged me to a bookshop where she had promised she would start her Familia.
That brought us back to the now.
+
"Goddess, goddess. Goddess Hestia! Calm the... calm down!" I grabbed her by the shoulders and pointedly did not shake her. Fearful, tearful eyes looked up at me.
"But, but!"
"I am not dying at this precise moment. Let's take a deep breath and think this all through, okay?"
A cavernous sound was heard. As if on cue, both Hestia and I looked down. First at our bellies then at each other's. I had eaten stale bread for breakfast and kept the one carrot I'd been given for lunch. I had also trekked several kilometers from the mountains to the closest village, slept in the back of a night convoy, literally on top of a bale of hay. I was starving, my whole body had declared sore was its default state, and only Orario's public fountains kept me awake and hydrated.
"And maybe eat something?"
As soon as we got home to the church Hestia lived in, and now me as well, we could discuss and test my very unexpected spells. What actually happened was that I ate potato puffs until I was full and felt like crying about it. I laid my head down on my arms and fell asleep on the table. I don't remember that part.
I woke up at the ungodly hour of sunrise, on the bed. No boots, but still fully clothed, with a lamprey called Hestia hugging me from behind. Her sleep looked peaceful. I disentangled myself like somebody who has two younger brothers who like suffocating people- I mean cuddling. I regretted getting up, as my blistered feet met the floor. Limping to the couch, I sat down and grimaced as I saw I was bleeding a bit through my socks.
I was accustomed to walking long distances, but that's on modern pavement and modern shoes. My clothes had been translated into a lower technological level, and they just didn't fit me exactly like mine had, even if they looked similar enough. That's fine for say, my trousers, but for shoes it became the equivalent of breaking in new shoes by power walking through a day of standing retail work.
God...dess? Bless thick socks.
Unwilling to part my butt from the couch and doubting Hestia would have paper and pencils lying around, I settled in to mentally review the last 48 hours. Setting aside my entrance, stage left, there were a couple of things I had to think about.
First there were the timeline changes. Bell was… I wasn't quite sure he was responsible for saving the city? I'd read that he was somewhere. But he definitely was super important for the xenos, whose arc I hadn't read, and apparently for Ais. And she was a topic better not touched so I could only hope that Bell's protagonist aura could be replaced by… something. Lili was actually not essential for anything outside Bell's adventures. Sorry, but true. Mikoto either. Welf, I thought he had something to do with Ares' country. Who had invaded. That was another thing I had not read about. And finally Haruhime. It was awful to think but she was probably in a better position dead than in Ishtar. It was really awful, but it also wouldn't impact the timeline as far as I remembered.
So in conclusion! There was nothing I could do, probably, and maybe even nothing I should do. I'd given Hestia her first familia member and realistically that was the only amend I could make.
The other thing, a far larger topic, was me and my future. Or rather, mine and Hestia's future. We were a household now, in many, nay. In every way. My eyes skittered across the cracked ceiling, the holes, the spiders. I did not think about the centipedes. The list started composing itself in my head: finances and the division of wealth (marriage was an institution I'd read somewhere), registration with the guild, classifications, taxes, aid… then spending priorities like food, equipment, home repairs, clothes, soap…
I kept at it, my mind fluidly transitioning from the immediate necessities and practicalities to future planning. And therefore, my spells, with all their incredible potential but also all their potential drawbacks. Ultimately, I didn't know enough. I was nose deep into overly complex ways of testing each parameter of my spells when Hestia started making waking up noises.
They were cute waking up noises, and it was cute watching her snuggle deeper into the covers. I wanted to sleep in too, but I'd forced myself to get up. In short, if I couldn't, neither could she.
"Hey Lady Hestia! Good morning! Wake up!" I cheerily called, louder and louder.
"Mwah? Huh? Ah!" I watched her go from startled to confused to effusive. Her eyes sparkled as she looked at me. I felt my grin turn a bit awkward. Hestia's wholesome expectations...what did I do to deserve them? The bare minimum?
Well, when in doubt, deny, deflect and bury your problems until you have to fix everything at the last minute. "Sorry about that, but I think it's getting pretty late," I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was half past seven. A good enough hour for a retail worker, provided you didn't have to take three or four different busses to work. "And I wasn't sure when your work starts."
As an aside, it's incredibly convenient that I can read, speak and understand the local language because it is not english and it does not use the latin alphabet.
She shot up. "Oh no! I'm- wait! It wasn't a dream! I have a Familia!" She pointed at me. I couldn't help but smile back stupidly. Then her face fell. One-hundred to zero in point one seconds flat. "Y-y-your magic! That wasn't a dream either! Oh no, oh no."
Five minutes were spent explaining to Hestia that no, I felt fine. I hadn't tried to use my spells, because I wasn't a complete idiot, so nothing had happened and likely would not happen. Unless I used my spells, and that was what I wanted to talk to her about.
"Well," Hestia declared as she plopped down on the couch, arms crossed, "I'm not going to go to work today! We need to figure out your magic and besides, it's our first day as a Familia! We should spend it together!"
I was sitting sideways on the couch, facing her, and I objected. "Well, actually maybe it would be better if you went to work, Hestia. Right now, you are the Familia's only breadwinner and I'm… well, I'm really not helping."
Hestia closed her eyes and groaned. "Ah, that is a really weird feeling, being the one with money…" In yesterday's panic, she hadn't really noticed how dirt poor I really was. Not that I had particularly ragged clothes or anything that would make you think of a bum… but I literally didn't own anything but what I had on my body. It led to funny things like having to wait naked until my one set of clothes was washed and dried. "It can't be helped, I'll have to break out the emergency food money to buy you clothes."
Oy, oy, oy! "Wait a moment, if you're not going to work and you're spending the emergency food money, how are we going to eat tonight!"
"We can handle one night without dinner!"
"Hell no!"
Hestia's job was enough to feed her and save some. Nothing else. And when she wasn't forced to spend what she saved on emergency repairs, like buying a new dress, new soap… she spent it on alcohol. Happy hour. I was not a happy penguin when I forced her to admit that.
"You're just like Hephaestus!!" "Apparently that's what you need!!" "I don't deserve this!" "We'll see about that!"
Somehow, we'd ended up with me still sitting on the couch while I lectured her on the evils of alcohol, namely how it sucked your wallet dry. Hestia kneeled on the floor, chastised.
"God-s, we need to get a handle on our finances like, right now." I pulled her up and sat her next to me. Darn puppy eyes. "And while we're at that, we should talk about what we want out of the Familia more concretely."
Hestia gave me a peculiar look. "What do you want out of our Familia?" Before I could get properly startled at the change in maturity, she continued. "I want our Familia to write their own familia myth, like in the books. To have adventures and their name and renown proclaimed by everybody! And then I want everybody to gather and have a feast and tell stories and be happy together." A fantasy where everybody would come back victorious, where Hestia would watch them grow and never be alone.
"That sounds nice." Shame that Bell likely was dead, no? "I would like that."
She pouted. "That didn't answer my question, mister!"
That's right, because I was avoiding thinking of how pathetic I was. Still, she waited as I thought about what I wanted. Since I had to be honest, I told her most of what was going on in my head. "I want to survive. I want to live comfortably but also to go on adventures. I want to make up for some stuff and become a better person. I want to be strong and looked up to and good and I don't want to be alone in the world." I like my space. I like being left to my devices. It's selfish of me, but I do need an anchor and without my brothers, my father…
A small shoulder bumped into mine and I looked down to see Hestia's serious eyes. "You're not alone."
That was almost true. "Thank you. Sorry for being such a downer."
"Nope!" She rejected my apology.
We squabbled lightly back and forth, mood lightening up as I apologized and she insisted me being honest about my feelings was good, which it was not! I got the upper hand though, by bringing us back round to money.
+
"So, in conclusion," I taped the pencil on a sheet full of scribbled out words and arrows pointing at numbers. "Hestia Familia will have mostly joint assets. So, buildings and other communal assets belong to the familia, under Hestia's name. Along with food, water, basic hygiene products, that will make sure the familia ensures elemental… no what's the name… elementary, ah, fundamental. Fundamental necessities for all its members. This will be paid for by a piggybank, the familia… funds, yeah. Each member, goddess included, will contribute three-quarters of their earnings to the funds. The remaining quarter will be personal money to spend however they want." I was forgetting something, what was it?
"Cheapskate, miser, val counter!" Hestia pounded on my knees weakly.
Oh yeah! "Taxes are also paid communally, obviously. Equipment may be paid for by the familia under the discretion of the quartermaster, which will also be in charge of the rest of the finances, and the captain, me. Considering the familia's state."
"Scrooge! Hoarder!"
"Discussions about spendings will be allowed, of course. And this document will be put up for revision in… three months unless something spectacular happens. What do you think, Goddess?"
A pathetic pile of divinity clung to my legs, eyes tearful and betrayed. "You said you hated finances and management."
"I do. Or at least, I hated the way they were done back home." Capitalist hellhole. Too many weird rules that only served to enrich the rich, punish the poor and give people excuses to fire employees. "This is just common sense and honestly, I am just throwing the numbers around. At least it fits in one single sheet."
Hestia grumbled but sat back down next to me. If she wanted more pocket money, she shouldn't have said she wanted her familia to provide for its members. Society lives on taxes!
"Okay, we're done. No more of this talk." She grabbed our fledgeling charter from my hands and replaced it with the bare status sheet from yesterday. "This is more important!"
The three spells that broke all the rules, in-universe and out, stared back at me. I wondered…
A traitorous finger poked me on my side and I jumped, a giggled half-strangled like a drowning cat escaping my lips. "DON'T Do that!!"
The goddess who I had been tormenting smirked evilly. "Are you… ticklish?"
"No." "Liar~!" "I meant- No like- Don't Even Think About It! Goddess! Goddess!?"
The following five minutes were not pleasant. Was I asking for it? I maintain that no, it was a completely inappropriate and excessive response from Hestia. The breach of trust was deeply hurtful and Hestia stopped once I started crying. I can handle pain just fine, but suffocation by laughter is upsetting, let's say. My goddess, now apologetic, played with the status sheet in her hands. I could hear the paper bending and crinkling, but I couldn't see her, since I was sitting on the floor on the other side of the couch.
I looked up. Hestia peered over the back of the couch. "Let's not do that ever again."
"So…"
"My spells. Let's get back to that thorny issue."
Hestia hummed. "Actually, I noticed… but you didn't seem too surprised when you saw your status."
I sighed. "Believe me Lady Hestia, I had no idea I was going to receive those spells. I sure dreamed about overpowered magic and a protagonist's power but something like those?" I threw my hands in the air. "Not even close."
Now Hestia was bending over the back of the couch, her head closer to mine. "You know what these spells do? I didn't have the chance to look too deeply. I was just transcribing your initial status when I noticed that this one… could hurt you." She tapped my shoulder. "I should check again."
I nodded. "Definitely. They might actually be different from what I think they are." I could feel the goddess' curiosity rolling off her in waves. Also, her worry. I had really chosen well, this goddess. "They're spells from stories I read back home. The Shadow Doppelganger Technique, that created solid copies of the user, signature of the number one unpredictable ninja. Magia Erebea, invented by a vampire, allowed you to make any magic your own. And Akemi Homura. That's the name of a heroine who could control time itself and used her shield to save her… person she loved."
Hestia's eyes were wide open. "Maybe I should check the blessing now." Yeah, I had a feeling she would after listening to that.
And since I was going to have to take off my shirt, "Might as well wash all of my clothes now then. If we want to have them dry at a reasonable time and make it to the Guild." It would take some time considering it was the middle of winter, if sunny. "Plus, you'll have to be the one to hang them outside since I'll be, well." Lacking in clothes.
So I started very normally undoing the laces on my shirt and trousers, only for Hestia to loudly splutter and turn away, blushing furiously. "Y-y-you can't just get n-naked just like that!" It was literally nothing she hadn't seen before and I told her so. "I'm a virgin goddess! I don't g-go to de-depraved parties like other gods! My eyes are virginal too!" More quietly she mumbled something that sounds like, "Is this what other gods do? Isn't it going too fast?"
"Okay," I stopped and stared at her, turned away but occasionally looking over her shoulder to see what I was doing, "that makes no sense. Which part of this," I gestured to the entire room, "made you think we were going to even touch? Let alone have like… sex. We are not. Is this a …" Greek "god thing?"
I knew Hestia had deserved to go to horny jail in canon, but: One, that was for Bell, which I was very much not. And two, she didn't usually act like this.
Hestia's face had reached critical levels and looked redder than a tomato. "A man can't just show a virgin goddess his body like t-"
"Wait what?"
"What what?
I stared at her in such complete bafflement that even the wind seemed to have disappeared. "Hestia. I am a woman."
Silence. "Eh?"
"Don't 'eh?' me. I don't have a bra, you saw my tits yesterday."
"No I didn't, you had your back to me the whole time!"
"Dude, my chosen name is Nana. Na-na."
"I thought that was your family name!"
"I have long hair! I have a girl's voice!"
"In a ponytail! Lots of men have long hair! And your voice is fine for a boy too!"
"Oh my goooood…"
I couldn't believe I was actually this non-binary. Ever since I had stopped cutting my hair like a soldier, my ability to confuse people about my gender had diminished severely. I could still make people look twice and frown in confusion, but Hestia being 100% convinced that I was a man after seeing me half-naked and cuddling me during the night? Something didn't add up. My goddess insisted she'd never seen somebody as flat as me (she'd choked on her laugh and gone very pale, dismayed? At me being flatter than Loki). I pointed at my throat and asked about my lack of facial hair and adam's apple. And found out that, apparently secondary sex characteristics work differently here.
I misspoke. What I actually mean is that, among human men, they either are very prominent or they barely exist. And women, of course, always have… titties. The less was said about sex dimorphism in elves and pallums, the better. As a mostly androgynous female wearing pants, I was indistinguishable from a quarter of the male population.
Rule of thumb: if it doesn't have B-cups, it's a dude. The joys of living in an anime?
Okay, let's get back to what people really want to know. How overpowered I was (not).
+
My clothes were drying, I was comfortably wrapped in a warm, cozy blanket, and Hestia had spent at least one hour trying to make sense of my spells. There were several sheets of paper with different translations and amendments spread on the table. An adventurer's status is written on their back in divine hieroglyphs. Although puny mortals can learn how to read the divine script, gods just transcribe and translate it for us. What I hadn't known is that even gods can get stumped by the very blessing they gave.
Hestia had been incredibly vague about it, but the gist I got was that the divine hieroglyphs were a higher form of divinity than gods themselves. Or at least, gods with their arcanum sealed. The script looked like an alphabet to the untrained eye but it actually read like said hieroglyphs and worked on a base of symbols equaling ideas. It also had layers only gods could perceive and had to interpret.
So there were several possible translations for several different parts of my spells. Hestia looked like she wasn't sure if she wanted to be happy or panicking.
"Okay, let's put these two aside for now and focus on the simple one." I pushed most of the sheets aside and took the only spell that hadn't made Hestia want to cry.
[ Kage Bushin no Jutsu ]
Multiplication magic that creates physical but fragile copies of the user. The user remains connected to all copies.
There were other notes written down. Different translations like shadow doppelganger or shadow clone technique, the fact that it didn't have a chant at all and the hieroglyphs had drawn this vague hand shape here, how expensive it felt to Hestia and properties she thought the spell might have.
"Looks about right. In the stories, Shadow Clones could take a few hits depending on how much chakra was used to create them. They also transferred all their memories back to the user when they were destroyed, making them great scouting and training tools. The clones looked independent, but they coordinated effortlessly with Naruto so it could very well be that he was more or less in control of them."
"It's not a super-powerful attack or a legendary healing magic," said Hestia, "but I can see how useful and incredible it is. Other gods would definitely want to take you away if they got even a whiff of what this can really do."
I nodded grimly. "Especially the evil, unscrupulous sort of gods. Kage Bushin is a top-tier spying tool. Heck, any exploration familia or even the guild. Being able to check ahead for monsters and traps without risk is a gamechanger."
"I'm not sure if I'm the luckiest or the unluckiest goddess to ever exist. Ahaha." Hestia said spiritlessly.
"We're going to have to lay low." In other words we were doomed but alas. "Anyway, it's not like this spell doesn't have some very real potential drawbacks. The story always described it as very expensive chakra-wise, so I'm not even sure I'll be able to cast it without passing out. And the memories from the clones could overwhelm me and even fry my brain." Now Hestia was staring at me again. "On the other hand there are fun probabilities like exploding clones and weapon duplicates."
"I'm starting to think you enjoy this, Nana."
"There are a lot of things about this situation that I'm enjoying. "
"Urrgg." She scowled and mock hit me in the arm. "Just tell me about the original story you read this from, you scoundrel."
I winced, regretting promising that I would tell her the stories I knew. "Naruto is at least fifty volumes long. How about I tell you the beginning and how he got his ninja headband? So, imagine a city, like Orario but there are large trees everywhere and there's a cliff. It's a very important cliff, because that's where the faces of the Hokages are carved!"
I got into the rhythm of storytelling fairly easily. It didn't take much to have Hestia hanging on my words. I still had Naruto's first episode and chapter engraved in my mind and the fact was that I loved Naruto. Always will, some part of me. And by the end of today, so would Hestia.
+
"This one… it's not a good magic, Nana."
I winced. "... You're not wrong goddess. It's not evil or anything but it is really dangerous magic. It's the one I understand the least too."
[ Magia Erebea ]
Stagnet - Complexio - Supplementum Pro Armationem
Forbidden Magic that devours everything. Grants the user many times the power of absorbed magic. Anima Erosion. Animus Erosion.
"You shouldn't ever use it. I forbid it." She said, small hands around one of my wrists.
I tapped the paper instead. Besides that, there were several translations and scribbles of what Hestia had thought might be other activation words and strange details. She'd dug deep, trying to find as much as she could about this one in particular. "Anima and animus erosion worries me. I've heard it somewhere before, but I can't remember where."
"It means something that destroys your very sense of self." Hestia's voice was harsh by my side. There was a reason I was keeping my eyes glued to the paper. "It attacks your mind, spirit and soul!"
"That makes sense." I paused. "In the story, to learn how to use this magic, Negi had to face his inner darkness. He fought through a magic dream in which he died over and over again until he overcame that darkness inside of him. If he gave up or took too long, he either died or lost his ability to use magic forever."
"Nana!" Hestia grabbed my hair and pulled so that I had to look at her. Her eyes were red and her voice reedier. "And knowing all that, you still want to use it? No, that's stupid! And you're not stupid!"
I grit my teeth and almost spat the words out. "I don't know if I'll have the choice. The dungeon, hell! The world is dangerous! If I'm going to survive, I have to use all I have. I can't hold back and Magia Erebea is my greatest force-multiplier."
Hestia didn't release my eyes. "You don't want to use it. Why are you insisting on this, Nana?"
Gods and their stupid ability and intuition! I forced my head out of her grip. A few ripped hairs would be worth not having to meet her eyes anymore. "... I want the power of Erebea. That magic was… so cool. You know it was invented by a ten year old child? A kid forcibly turned into a monster that became monstrously strong so she could survive in a world that hated her for no reason. Magia Erebea works by absorbing a spell and fusing it with your soul. It's crazy powerful and crazy dangerous. The spell itself begins to feed on your soul and lifeforce and whatever else."
Hestia just waited.
"I am afraid of using it. The more I think about it, the less simple it becomes. I'm scared of what I'll have to fight, and I'm almost certain I'd lose." I wasn't delusional. A young adult from the modern world that had rarely faced hardships? A mediocre person by all accounts? I didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell. "And then I'd be taken over by dark magic and literally turn into a monster."
I felt Hestia's touch on my shoulder and felt my eyes prickle with wetness. "So don't. We don't need this spell. It's forbidden after all."
I had a premonition then that I would use it. Of course I did.
+
The final spell wasn't actually any better for Hestia's blood pressure. "Honestly, Lady Hestia, by this point, I was expecting you to exert your divine authority. I mean..."
Hestia opened her mouth, closed it, opened it again and then whimpered, suddenly looking very defeated. "I almost did but I can feel it in the blessing. That magic is not against the laws of the lower world. It's cheating, almost! But only almost! It's not against the rules or in violation of the laws." She bit her lip. "Thank goodness. I… don't want to think about what I might have had to do."
Me neither, boss, me neither.
[ Akemi Homura ]
Creates a lost heroine's shield with the ability to stop the flow of time and store items inside. Its durability and abilities depend on the user's magic stat. Sacrificing a shield will allow for a chance to change fate.
This hieroglyphic translation was apparently the hardest because, according to Hestia, the hieroglyphs and their meanings kept changing. The name, especially, varied between Akemi Homura, Homulily and other variants that included Nutcracker. I was appropriately terrified. Hestia had checked for me though, and nothing in the spell indicated any sort of corruption, turning, transformation. It was one 'simple' spell that just created the shield.
So we only had to deal with the possibility of time travel and whatever complications, likely divine in nature, could arise from it. It was a very big 'only'.
We were probably going to have to test this magic before anything else. Hestia had been freaking out, again, about the possibility of other gods noticing me messing around with time. And not just the ones in the lower world, no! We also had to worry about the ones upstairs.
"Okay so, the way I understand, the shield is actually something like a sand hourglass." I explained. "Homura could stop time by halting the flow of sand in it, like stopping an hourglass by putting it horizontal. And she could reverse time by turning it around, just like an hourglass too. I never quite got the exact mechanics of it, like if she could only turn time at that one spot in the timeline, or how the sand in the shield got there or if it represented the universal time flow or just something more local and a bunch of other little details. I do know how the time-stop works functionally though." Through direct and contiguous contact, essentially.
"That's not a power any mortal should have." Hestia said, and to me she sounded more serious than usual. I turned from the paper back to her. "It's almost… blasphemous. Tell me about the story of Akemi Homura."
"... it's funny that you mentioned blasphemy. Akemi Homura's story… well, she's just the most important character in Madoka's story. Kaname Madoka was just a normal girl. And for her, it all started with one very strange dream, a dream with a girl fighting a monster, and a small white creature with red eyes…"
+
Somehow, it was already mid-afternoon when we were done. In between debating and writing down what we should do to test my spells, eating more potato salad, and waiting for my clothes to dry, we'd wasted almost the entire day. A good chunk of it had been spent storytelling. Hestia really loved stories and she wasn't just interested in listening about other things I'd read or watched.
I happened to go on a bit of a rant about the lack of good character writing in Naruto when it came down to girls, which led to things I'd have written differently, and suddenly fanfiction! Ironic, I know. But it seemed that Hestia and I would get along like a house on fire.
Since Hestia hadn't gone to work, I considered taking care of the Familia's registration, but there was something we ought to check before we made any moves at all. Before I even considered taking one single step in my adventures. After all… would anything matter if I got smited from existence?
Hestia was biting her nails, hair raised.
I stood ready in the middle of the room.
I was not ready.
You Only Live Once, probably.
I closed my eyes, right hand over my left forearm. Inhale, exhale. My heartbeat got progressively louder as I focussed. There was no chant, so it was all down to instinct. Ba-dump, ba-dump. I was looking for an energy for which I had no reference. I was a blind man trying to swim towards a patch of dyed water. ba-dump ba-dump. And the waters were shark-infested. This was a horrible idea, I should have started with the shadow clones. No, I had to focus. ba-dump ba-dump. Breathe and think of nothing but yourself. Self-awareness. Your body, a machine constantly there. baa-dump baa-dump. Your mind, freely letting thoughts go. baaa-dump baaa-dump.
My soul, touched by divinity.
baaa-dump baaa-dump
tick tock tick tock
ba aa-du mp ba aa-du mp
t ic k t o ck t ic k t o ck
The power to protect. A shield. I could picture that. I'd held shields before, felt the way they dragged my arm down. Keep your hands up. Guard.
b a a d u m p b a a d u m p
t i c k t o c k t i c k t o c k
The power over time. An hourglass, a grandfather clock, a sundial. I could envision that too. Still-motion. Photographs. Moments frozen in time. The steady beat of a pendulum, the murmur of sand sliding against glass, a shadow moving back and forth over carved stone. A film being rewound.
b a a d u m p b a a d u m p b a a d u m p b a a d u m p b a a d u m p b a a d u m p
Why was… my heartbeat so… loud? Why was it so steady? Why couldn't I… control it?
No! I yelled in my mind, but my eyes would not open. This was not right. My breathing continued unhindered and steady, to the rhythm of the universe, despite the panic building inside of me. Every beat, I lost something. Some warmth, some form of… me, was being drained away. I got colder and colder, yet I did not shiver, or felt the need to do so. It continued to flow out of me and very soon, I was all tapped out. Then, the shakes began, rocking my bones, my body, my head.
It was the pain of a migraine, that awful sort of pressure that just did not want to go away, leaving me stuck in bed and crying in frustration. It was the pain of food poisoning, kneading my stomach and intestine with large claws. It was the flu with all of its weight pressing me down to the floor while poking my body to move just to get away from the discomfort. It was like collapsing after running under the summer sun outside, no water, no breath, my heartbeat in my throat, my ears, my eyes.
This spell was too much. That was my last thought before the world fell into incoherence.
Not unconsciousness. Not until I felt it around my wrist. Only then did I fall into blissful oblivion.
This is 99% abandoned.
Yeah, I just wrote this months ago to get the juice flowing. It's 100% wish fulfillment, but you can see some places where I had the bare-bones idea of a plot. You can also see here why RunLess is classified as an SI-adjacent story, there's a lot of similarities between how "I" here and the RunLess version see the world and interact with Hestia.
Anyway, not planning on continuing this any time, parts of these ideas having been moved to other projects. So here it is, for future perusal.