True Magician (Fate/Grand Order / High School DxD(Multi)

[mirzael]

Kuoh Academy.
Ranking Game Day.

- "I give up." Riser stated in a feignedly pitiful tone while Issei stood over him in his Balance Breaker.

- "Riser Phenex admits defeat. The victory goes to Rias Gremory." Greyfia's voice echoed through the arena, ending the game.

Well, it went about the same as in canon, except for the last scene.

He had planned to win at first, but when Issei used the Balance Crusher, he decided to give in after all. And that way there would be no questions from the demons about him losing, even though he could have single-handedly scattered Rias' entire retinue. And neither her nor his reputation would suffer.

Heh. Playing the pompous and self-righteous jerk has its perks, eh?

And at those thoughts, I waved my hand, and the screen in front of me disappeared. And my gaze slowly drifted toward another person present in the medical room.

- "Why are you looking at me like that, Romani-sensei?" She asked incomprehensively.

- "Don't play dumb, Alaya. In canon, Riser wins the game, not loses it, right?" I asked her, to which I got a nod, "And if that's the case, why don't you say anything about it?"

- "Well... Issei beat him."

- "At the wedding, not in the game."

- "But the bottom line is the same."

- "So, it's the outcome that matters, not the events leading up to it, right?"

- "Uh-huh. But that's what I said, right?"

- "Actually, no." I rubbed my temples.

Yeah... And how this world hasn't fallen into oblivion yet... I guess that's the cost of Mankind's overly human Unconscious Will. But thanks for confirming my theory that the order of events is not important, only the outcome.

Right. The next arc is Kokabiel, and if my memory serves me right, Issei didn't defeat him, but was captured by Vali and imprisoned in Cocytus, and now all I have to do is wait for the arrival of the two "competent" owners of Excalibur. Well, and start thinking of a plan to reskin him, though that will require me to contact the descendants of the local King Arthur.

- "Skipping class is bad, Aika-san," I said, coming out of my thoughts, "Get out of here."

- "But, sensei..."

- "Shoo-shoo, I said."

Alaya made a pouty face and walked out of the medical room, stomping loudly on the floor.

I guess I can sleep for the rest of the day.

-0-

West of England.

I didn't get much sleep. Why not? Alarm bells went off in my head when I sensed that TWO Shadow Servants had arrived at once. Not only that, as Merlin was acting suspiciously quiet and the Shadow Servants' mana was flaring up every now and then, apparently from using Noble Phantasm.

When I arrived, I saw a huge, ornate mansion in typical English style. Well, or rather, it had once been so, as half of this mansion was now in ruins. And a huge crevice in the ground that started within the building extended hundreds of meters away from it, and ominous red lightning crackled near the place where I appeared. It appeared to me that the place was a garden or something, like in those old-fashioned movies.

As I looked around, my hearing picked up a rather mature male scream filled with rage.

- "Die!"

It was followed by the sound of metal clinking, like swords clashing. Heading in his direction, I entered the mansion and saw a middle-aged man with blue eyes and blonde hair who looked very shabby, and the numerous wounds and cuts on his body were bleeding. He glared fiercely at the Shadow Servant dressed in gray armor with red stripes on it. And watching them from the second floor balcony was a second Servant, dressed in a dark-colored dress with blue lines, and in her hand she held something between a spear, an axe, and a staff in the same color scheme.

My eyebrow twitched and my hand started rubbing my face, foreshadowing a HUGE headache.

Great... Truly great... Mordred and Morgan le Fay... Why the hell are there so many Servants associated with the legend of King Arthur!

- "Оh? We have company? How unexpected." The sensual voice of Morgan noticing my presence.

- "Just passing through, Your Majesty," I said calmly and bowed respectfully, "May I ask you a question?"

- "I allow it, Magician."

Uh-huh. Fairy eyes. So, the Berserker from the lostbelt. Uh-huh.

- "Why are you in your right mind? I'm sure you know you're a Shadow Servant, and the Beast whispers to you. But somehow, you're quite yourself, and so is Mordred."

The Knight of Betrayal grinned savagely, using the middle-aged man as a punching bag. But she didn't hit any vital organs.

- "Оh? Is that what you mean?" She asked and began to slowly descend and then walk towards me, "Do you think such trivial things can affect the Queen of the Fairies, Magician?"

- "I suppose you're right," I replied, keeping my gaze on her veiled face, "But still, what are you doing here? And who is this man?"

- "You already know the answer to your questions, Magician. I'm sure you know a lot more than you're letting on." she replied, reaching me.

- "Heh, your fairy eyes see right through me, huh?" I grinned, "But still, I don't think you decided to attack the Pendragon mansion for nothing."

Boom.

A loud sound echoed down the hall, and shifting my gaze in his direction, I saw Mordred walking slowly in our direction, with Clarent over his shoulder and Uther Pendragon buried under a column of concrete and dust at the other end of the room.

- "Who is he, mother?" She asked with a smirk on her face.

- "Well, well, well. Be nice to our guest, Mordred, he's a Magician. A polite magician, at that. Not like that flower bastard."

- "Bleh, I don't care." The Knight of Betrayal shrugged and walked past us and sat down on one of the large rocks.

Yeah. That's a fine character. That's why she's a top waifu, though.

- "The visit here was driven by my curiosity. I wanted to see the descendants of my sister of this world."

- "I suppose it was a disappointing sight?" I shrugged, already assuming the answer.

- "You have no idea how much, Magician. But why are you here?"

- "It can't be explained in two words, Your Majesty. But if you try to do so… keeping the plot alive."

- "Plot? Interesting." She was interested.

I sighed tiredly and snapped my fingers, creating a table with three chairs. There were two glasses of wine for Morgan and me, and a steak for Mordred.

- "Have a seat. Explanation will take time."

-0-

A while later.

- "It doesn't make any sense." Morgan listened to my explanation and sipped aristocratically from her glass.

- "Uh-huh. Absolute nonsense." Mordred added, chewing on her fifth steak.

Apparently a black hole instead of a stomach is hereditary. And Servants don't actually need food.

- "You think I have other ideas about that?" I grinned and took a sip, too, "Anyway, I suggest you join me."

- "What is my benefit, Magician?"

- "Mana. I can provide you with it, since you are a Servant, Your Majesty. You can draw it from the ley-lines, but then there's a chance of provoking powerful beings you don't want to provoke, the concepts of Dream and Infinity, for example, or the various gods, since you've probably realized by now that the Age of Gods didn't end here. Besides, you won't be the only Servants in my care."

- "Оh? Such as?" she asked interestedly.

- "Your sister, Flower Pervert, and the Knight of the Lake."

At those words, both Mordred and Morgan froze. An evil smile appeared on the Fairy Queen's face, and the Knight of Betrayal....

- "Father... is... here?" She asked. Her eyes didn't blink, and her hands clenched the cutlery so tightly that it turned into scrap metal.

- "Wow. What a magnificent wedding gift you have given, my husband." Morgan said sensually a few seconds later.

I froze and stared at her incredulously.

Stop. I think I heard something completely illogical. Ah, no. For a Berserker with Madness Enhancement of rank EX, it's quite logical... Maybe I should have just used Solomon's Noble Phantasm and blown the hell out of both the Servants and the mansion? And where the hell is Merlin? I don't want to get all the attention of the Fairy Queen in one go. Uh-huh-uh.

- "Mother? Don't you think that's illogical?" Mordred asked incomprehensively, directing her gaze at Morgan.

- "Listen to your child, Your Majesty. I am no match for you." I added, trying to ignore the look she was sending me.

- "Оh? Is that what you think, Magician? I think you're perfect for me," she said in a confident tone, "Only someone extraordinary could be my husband, and you have True Magic."

And while I was thinking how I could refute her point of view, even though I realized that asking a Berserker with Madness Enhancement Rank EX was useless, my senses picked up a sudden burst of magic. And turning in his direction, I saw a slit appear in the air, from which two clearly familiar people emerged. Le Fay Pendragon and Arthur Pendragon.

- "Оh? More guests?" Morgan said, staring in their direction, and froze once more when her fairy eyes told her who they were and a smirk appeared on her face, "Very interesting guests."

- "Who are you?" With his sword at the ready, Arthur asked and pointed at the ruined mansion, while Le Fay hid behind his back and peered out from there, "Is this your doing?"

You couldn't have picked any other time to show up, hmm? Ah, stop. Arthur left the house because of the maid, right? And apparently, when he heard the situation, he rushed here to rescue her.

- "Have a seat, my sister's descendants. We have much to talk about." Morgan said with a sweet smile on her face and dragged them telekinesis to the table, immobilizing the poor souls and creating seats for them. Arthur and Le Fay could only blink in incomprehension and stare warily at me, Morgan, and Mordred.

Yeah... What's my luck parameter there? А++? That's a lie, I'll tell you that.

-0-

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[mirzael]

Pendragon Mansion.

A nice, cool breeze caressed my face, while the sun hung high in the sky and birds chirped melodiously in the nearby forest. And all this beautiful picture was spoiled by the oppressive atmosphere at the table at the dilapidated Pendragon mansion.

- "So, you bear big father's name, eh?" Mordred asked with a challenge in her voice, looking at Arthur, "Weak."

- "Well, well. Don't be so rude, my child," Morgan said with a sweet smile on her face, "It's not his fault it doesn't match 'his' name."

Yep. Let's talk about the extremely beautiful character of one ultra strong witch and her super rebellious daughter. Love/hate for her 'father' Mordred and pathological jealousy of her 'brother' Morgan, even though she's from the lostbelt where she ruled Fairy Britain.

Arthur acted very wisely by remaining silent in response. Though his very hard stare in Mordred's direction made it clear that he noticed how the Knight of Betrayal put it.

- "W-why are you insulting my brother?" Le Fay cautiously asked, "And who are you people? You feel so... familiar."

- "My husband, would you be so kind as to introduce us?" Morgan turned to me with a wide grin on her face, "It seems our guests still haven't realized who we are."

- "Do I have to be your husband, Your Majesty?" I asked in a tired tone, putting my palm to my face.

- "You shouldn't ask such obvious things, my husband. You already know my answer, don't you?" she replied smugly.

- "You know what? Fuck it," I waved my hand, "The one in the armor is Mordred, Knight of Betrayal, and the one in the dress, whose conceit shines brighter than Rhongomyniad, is Morgan Le Fay."

Arthur's and Le Fay's eyes widened, and their mouths opened so wide that they looked like they could fit a basketball in them. His brother's glasses skewed in a second shudder, and his sister stared at Morgan with unblinking eyes.

- "Y-you..." she murmured in a shaky voice.

- "Yes, little one. And I find it very amusing that you were named after me," Morgan said with amusement in her voice, "And that goes for your brother, too."

- "But why did you name us after your 'sister' and not your 'brother'?" Arthur asked calmly.

- "You've already guessed why, haven't you, boy?"

- "But..."

- "Listen, Arthur," I intervened. At the same time, Mordred made a face when she heard me say that name, and Morgan grinned, "I suggest you simply accept the fact that King Arthur was a girl. Any further resistance or doubt will only damage your mind. Trust me."

- "Okay." he sighed tiredly and nodded. And there was silence at the table.

How wise. He just took my advice. He'll go far. And Le Fay is still silent and silent.....

- "By the way, why are you even here, kid?" Mordred asked me casually.

- "Even if Uther Pendragon isn't the best father, I understand his decisions. And... I'd rather he didn't die of old age," Arthur replied, then looked at Morgan, "He's not dead, is he?"

- "Tattered, unconscious, but alive," I answered in her place and pointed to a small pile of concrete and plaster, "He's over there."

- "If you'll excuse me, I'd like to get him out of there and check his condition." Arthur stood up and headed towards the slide.

Le Fay hid her eyes and clutched her hat nervously as her brother left to trash their father.

Impressive. Arthur realizes that both he and his sister are of interest to Morgan, so he's not too worried about Le Fay's safety, at least not as obviously. Also, he didn't mention the maid who caused him to leave the house. Heh.

- "Le Fay," I called out to her, from which she cautiously looked up, and created a cup of tea in front of her, "Calm down. Have some tea and relax a bit. You and your brother are in no danger, since Morgan isn't vindictive enough to harm you two. Well, at least not unless you insult her badly or something."

- "O-okay." She muttered nervously, and took the cup carefully and sipped from it.

Yeah... I feel like I'm bullying a schoolgirl....

- "Оh? You know me so well, my husband. Do you still have doubts that we're not right for each other?" Morgan said sneeringly.

- "I suggest we leave that topic for another day, Your Majesty," I said and turned to Le Fay, "I see you have questions. You may ask them."

The little witch paused for a moment.

- "Weren't Sir Mordred and Morgan Le Fay dead a long time ago?" Gaining her courage, she asked, "A-and... their magical signature is very spirit-like... Are they ghosts?"

- "In principle, you're right. Her Majesty and her 'son' are dead, and the ones sitting at this table now are a metaphysical digital copy of them, with all their memories, character, abilities and so on, but with a flavor of magic. You could say you're looking at the real-life Knight of Betrayal and King Arthur's older sister."

- "I... understand. Thank you for explaining," Le Fay muttered and stood up and bowed to them, "It's a pleasure to meet you, honorable ancestors."

- "Yeah, as you wish." Mordred shrugged her shoulders and stood up from the table and walked toward Arthur. "I'll go keep an eye on the boy. Talking is not my thing."

- "Oh, how cute you are," Morgan smiled and examined Le Fay, "Hm? You are very talented in magic. You remind me of me when I was young, so innocent and naive."

- "T-thank you." She hesitated and sat back down, covering her face with her hat.

- "Tell me about yourself and your brother." The Queen of the Fairies said with a hand on her head and leaned on the table.

- "Well... I studied at the Golden Dawn, one of the main magical associations. There I learned the spells I use... And my brother...."

- "What about him?" Morgan asked with interest.

- "Well..." Le Fay procrastinated, pondering whether to share this information.

- "About the same thing as Artoria, only with less Caliburn-related problems," I answered for her, "Romance with his maid in the Pendragon mansion left the house, taking the aforementioned sword with him, followed by Le Fay herself. Basically, it's no big deal."

- "Оh? So you came here because of that maid?" Morgan asked.

- "And because of my father too," Le Fay nodded cautiously, "And like my brother said, he's not a bad father, he just doesn't know how to do things differently."

- "In that, they're alike." Queen of Fairies grinned.

Heh. Morgan's father trusted Merlin too much. And that was his biggest mistake, but then again, he couldn't have done it any other way. Because the timeline would have become a lost belt with the wrong history of the world. Or destroyed altogether at the instigation of Alaya and her Counter-Guardians. Besides, women rulers weren't exactly favored in those days. But Morgan was a fairy, and a strong one at that.

As these thoughts raced through her mind, the two witches were already talking passionately about magic and how to use it. Apparently, the Fairy Queen had decided to take on an apprentice. Hopefully, little Le Fay won't turn into another Morgan. Though the circumstances are different, so it's unlikely.

- "In any case, I'll take my leave as I don't want to meddle in your family's affairs. The note with my address is on the table, so if you want to come over," I stood up from the table, leaving the note on it, and then turned towards Le Fay, "That goes for you and your brother as well. I wish I could talk to you, but I see the circumstances aren't right."

- "But we don't know where your home is."

- "A certain black cat will tell us the way," I rolled my eyes and Le Fay gave me a surprised look, "Did she really think she could go unnoticed?"

Kuroka has been hanging around my house for a week now. However, it wasn't me who noticed her, but Grandpa. And he was even impressed with her disguise skills. I guess it's because of her senjutsu skills. But I didn't understand why she was watching me. I didn't interact with her sister, and there can't be any other reason. At least, I don't think so.

And on those thoughts, I teleported away.

-0-

Unknown location.

But I wasn't at home, and the first thing my eyes noticed were three teenagers: one with a spear, the second on his left was wearing glasses, and the third on the right had a decent amount of muscle.

- "Good afternoon, Romani Archaman," the one with the spear began, "My name is Cao Cao, and I am the head of the Hero Faction. To my left is Georg, and to my right is Heracles."

My eyebrow twitched, I can't remember which time today.

Is that too much to ask?! Just a break for a day or two, for crying out loud!

- "And I'd like to invite you to join a stronghold of Humanity." He finished solemnly, looking at me with interested eyes.

But then, a wide grin appeared on my face, showing all thirty-two teeth.

I needed an outlet, though.

-0-

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[mirzael]

An unknown place.

- "Humanity's stronghold, you say?"

- "That's right! We are the descendants of great heroes, and our goal is to save people from the tyranny of arrogant, disgusting and cruel supernatural beings!" Heracles intervened, puffing up his chest proudly.

This is such obvious propaganda that I don't even know what to say. And actually, it sounds like bullshit.

- "Oh, it does? But it's still not clear to me what this has to do with me." I said disinterestedly, starting to clean my ear with my little finger.

- "Romani Archaman, you don't need to hide your power," Cao Cao said in a soothing tone that made my eyebrow twitch, "I'm not much of a magician, but Georg is. He has labeled you as a very talented magician, and we would like you to join our cause." Humanity needs people like you.

- "Marked? Is he some new species of humanoid mammal?"

- "You're wrong," Georg said irritably and adjusted his glasses, "Our leader simply chose the wrong word. But he's right nonetheless. If my observations are correct, and they are, then you are a very promising mage, because your mana reserves are twice as high as those of the average human."

Hmmm... And that's what he considers a talent? Apparently, they're severely understaffed. And it's probably because of Gilgamesh's attacks on them.

- "Oh... So you've been watching me like a common pervert?" I made a face, "Disgusting."

- "You misunderstood, Mr. Archaman," Cao Cao tried to keep a smile on his face, "We are constantly watching people, looking for talents among them. And we need people like you."

- "Oh, p…"

- "Why are we being ceremonious with him, Cao Cao? We could just take him by force." Heracles interrupted me.

This ghoul is starting to annoy me. And the fact that he goes by the same name as Berserker makes him as ridiculous as possible.

- "Okay, I get it. You're just a bunch of perverts consisting of a stalker, a humanoid mammal, and a 'special' gym-goer. I'm sorry, but I'm not interested in your merry band." I waved it off.

Cao Cao and Georg were quite tolerant of my character, unlike the third member of their group....

- "That's it! You're coming with us!" Heracles shouted and, stretching out his fist, came at me... However, he was blocked by the blue magic circle with Solomon's seal, which I, of course, hid.

His impact with the circle released a small wave of power. Not bad... for a Servant with power rank E. Heracles' eyes widened in surprise, and Cao Cao and George's gazes became serious.

- "Oh? Would you be so kind as to not come within ten meters of me? I wouldn't want your 'special' vibes to get on me." I said and lightly waved my hand in his direction.

And from this movement there was a strong stream of wind, which threw Heracles and sealed him into the nearest cliff, forcing him to fly five hundred meters. And my eyes only now discerned the environment I was in. It was some rocky terrain with all the rocks, trees, and a big mountain in the distance. Well, that's a good place to go.

And most importantly, let off some steam.

- "By the way," I started casually, while Georg and Cao Cao were studying me and preparing for the fight, and a wide grin blossomed on my face, "Are you looking for new members so zealously because of a certain blond man with red eyes and his friend with green hair?"

- "How do you know that?" Georg tensed up.

- "Because he works for me, you humanoid mammal."

- "Bastard! Do you realize how many members we've lost!" he shrieked, and various magical circles appeared around him, "So much work has been lost for nothing and all because of you and your six!"

- "Why did you do it, Mr. Archaman?" Cao Cao asked me seriously and pointed the tip of his spear at me.

- "I didn't do anything," I shrugged my shoulders, to which I received surprised looks, "Believe it or not, I didn't give any orders. They just decided to take a walk and you just got unlucky. And besides, I wouldn't have joined you anyway. I don't like being around perverts."

- "I see..." Cao Cao nodded, "Then we have nothing more to talk about."

After he finished speaking, he instantly attacked and aimed his spear at my neck. And me? I just stood there. I didn't dodge or block, for I don't need to do that.

And when the True Longinus almost reached my skin, it stopped a centimeter away from me. Cao Cao thought it was some kind of magic and put more effort trying to pierce my neck, but the spear wouldn't budge or move an inch.

- "Oh, I forgot to mention," I tapped my fist on my head, acting like an anime girl who realized the mistake, "Your spear can't hurt me. Not at all. So if you have no other way to damage me, then just run like a scared rabbit."

And then he raised his hand and flicked it into the air in front of him. From which he flew away just like Heracles. But Cao Cao didn't fly for long, but slowed down with his spear and, having made a somersault, landed softly on the ground forty meters away from me. And in the center of his forehead, a large bruise from my flick was visible.

- "Why can't my spear hurt you, Mr. Archaman?" He asked tensely.

Because I am Solomon? As it turns out, anything where God's will is present cannot harm me. I guess that's the cost of recognizing the Almighty in Solomon. But, of course, I won't tell Cao Cao that.

- "Oh, I don't know..." I grinned, "Maybe the will of God, contained in the True Longinus, doesn't agree with your ideals?"

- "What are you…" he was about to continue asking questions, but he was interrupted by the loud shout of Heracles.

- "Here I come, you bastard!"

BOOM

A deafening explosion sounded, covering the space around me with dust and dirt.

Slowly turning towards the active defense circle, I saw Heracles standing in the Balance Breaker. His arms and shoulders were covered in missiles that resembled RPG shells. And one of them was still in contact with the circle.

- "Why can't I hit you!" he shrieked and swung for another blow.

- "Stop, Heracles!"

Of course, he didn't listen to his leader and started pounding the circle.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

- "Die, damn it! I am Heracles, descendant of Greece's strongest hero! I can't help but defeat you!"

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

And while he was trying to get through, I was reminded of a certain scene from the anime involving Romani and Goetia. Really, there's no punching involved.

- "How long are you going to put up with this buffoon, Romani?" Beast I asked.

BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM

- "Come on. It doesn't make me uncomfortable." I replied, rolling my eyes.

- "Why aren't you dying!!!" Heracles growled madly, not stopping pounding.

- "You can finish it, though."

At these words, I snapped my fingers, applying 3rd magic, and he instantly froze and fell to the ground like a puppet with cut strings.

- "Heracles!" Georg shrieked, and a purple mist covered Heracles' body, and a couple seconds later it was gone.

- "I didn't kill him, if anything," I shrugged and turned toward Cao Cao, "Where were we interrupted? Ah, yes. The ideals."

I paused.

- "You call yourself and your faction heroes. But all I see is a foolish child playing wargames and begging for attention. You're brash, cocky and manipulative. You want to fight, test yourself, and get glory. You don't care about people's lives, only your own. Why else would you gather like-minded people and brainwash them?"

- "We're heroes. We save people! What I'm doing is necessary!" he shouted.

- "Oh, is that what you're telling yourself? And stop using 'we' when all you care about is 'me'. After all, you're an even bigger child than I thought you were. You don't even realize that 'salvation' and 'heroes' are subjective. And you're fixated on the easiest way to achieve them: killing. And it doesn't matter how many lives you lay down on the way to 'salvation' and 'being a hero', whether innocent or not. No thoughts, no regrets. Nothing. All I see is a frog at the bottom of a well that has never seen the outside world and never will."

- "What are you…"

- "You're nothing. A cellophane transparent bag with no writing or prints. Useless trash and a parasite. Some tragic shit must have happened to you, and you went through some kind of training and learning about your 'true' self. And later at some point, the thought looped in your brain, 'I'll save them, because I'm a hero' and blah blah blah blah."

- "How…"

- "How did I know that? Your backstory and motivation is as clichéd as it could possibly be. You're a previously written story. An empty echo. You will not be heard of. You will not be remembered. You'll fade into oblivion just as you appeared. A trash who thinks he's a savior and a god."

He stared at me silently, his eyes clouded.

- "Cao Cao, descendant of the hero from the novel Three Kingdoms, owner of the True Longinus," I said in a measured tone, "Nobody. He was, is, and will be. Until the day he dies."

He didn't move, his empty eyes didn't blink, and his fingers clutched the spear until it bled.

Did I overdo it?

Georg, seeing the state Cao Cao was in, quickly activated his Sacred Gear, and fled, taking his leader with him.

Well, I've blown off some steam. Now it would be good to sleep for a day or two....

I activated the teleportation circle and disappeared from this place.

Yeah. Let's do that.

-0-

A/N: How's the chapter? Give us your opinion. You may well be able to influence future chapters.
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[mirzael]

Kuoh Academy. Medical room.
Two days later.

I stood by the window and relaxed while sipping my coffee.

These couple days had been pretty peaceful. I had even managed to sleep without the interference of any supernatural beings.

The Servants' pastime has become a normal daily routine. Goetia now occasionally takes physical form and hangs out with Tiamat and Fou. Grandpa started training Hundred Face again, and sometimes, even Archer, who of course wasn't opposed to the idea. Medusa, Enkidu, and Artoria went shopping. Gilgamesh conversing with Merlin when the latter wasn't being pursued by Foe. And Hercules... just Hercules.

By the way, Morgan and Mordred still haven't visited me. Which I'm actually glad of, since their visit will make things very noisy.

And today is going to be a beautiful day, too. With no work or any other worries. At least, that's what I thought....

- "Romani Archaman, please report to the Student Council room," Tsubaki's voice came from the speakers, "Repeat. Romani Archaman, please report to the Student Council room."

I sighed.

Well, at least I had a couple days off.

-0-

Kuoh Academy. Student Council Room.

I burst in there as usual, without knocking and entering as if it were my home, and looked around. Apart from the usual inhabitants of this bureaucratic hell who looked as tired as possible, my eyes noticed a certain person in a pink magical girl costume.

- "Good afternoon, lovers of the smell of cellulose." I said hello and, walking inside, sat down opposite Sona, "What did you need my busy personality for? I was all about work, you know."

- "Romani-sensei, we both know that your words are nonsense." Keeping her composure, Sona said.

- "Now, now, So-tan. You're hurting my feelings," I said, clutching at my heart, and her glasses skewed, "But still, why do you need me? Don't tell me Archer won your heart, and you want my blessing?"

- "What?!" Saji shrieked.

- "So-tan?! That handsome, sarcastic, hot, arrogant, muscular and caustic bastard stole your heart!" Serafall flew up from her seat and started waving her fists around, "How dare he?! So-tan belongs only to me! I'll find him and catch him right now!"

Oh? An addition to Archer's harem? She didn't use the words 'castrate' or 'kill', just 'find' and 'catch'. Oh, and she described him... that way. Eroge Protagonist EX, I guess.

- "Enough!" Sona shouted, and her face turned redder than Emiya's cloak, "You promised you'd behave yourself, sister!"

- "Why are you red as a tomato then!!! Don't lie to your little sister!" Serafall pointed her finger at her.

- "You…"

Well, that's not going to move the conversation forward. Then...

- "For God's sake," I began, which made the demons in the room cringe in pain upon hearing the word, "I don't think he'll mind taking you both in, but I'm still curious as to why I'm here."

The Student Council members chuckled upon hearing me, and Tsubaki sighed tiredly. As for Saji? He just passed out either from anger or jealousy.

- "Really?!" Serafall asked excitedly.

Yeah. Plus one victim of Emiya.

- "Sensei, shut up... Or I'll shut you up," Sona said with a deadpan look at me and the water snakes behind her, then turned to her sister, "And you too. Otherwise I won't talk to you for a month."

I grinned and raised my hands in a surrendering gesture, and Serafall instantly sat back in her seat and assumed the pose of a model schoolgirl.

- "Okay," Sona nodded and put her snakes away, "Sensei, my sister wanted to talk to you about Archer."

- "Right. I hope you'll answer my question." Serafall said, taking a serious look.

Oh? Interesting.

- "Of course," I shrugged, "But you do realize I could be lying right?"

- "That's for me to judge, Romani-san."

Wow. Seeing a serious Serafall is so unusual. It's like I'm looking at a completely different person. It's true that her outfit didn't match her mood at all.

- "And my question is, what is he, Romani-san?"

- "A person?"

- "That's not what I meant. When Sona informed me that she would be trained by a man, my opinion was rather skeptical. And later, when I saw him with my own eyes, I had questions."

- "Such as?"

- "I know the terms of your and Sirzechs's contract," she said in a serious tone, which was not unexpected, "But it bothers me that a strong man like Archer is around my sister and training her."

Oh? She brought up that very topic? Well, I can't blame her for that. One Caladbolg can wipe an entire Kuoh to dust, since Archer gets a limitless supply of mana from me. And need I mention the spamming of Excalibur shots?

- "Lady Leviathan, why are you so wary of Archer-sensei?" Tsubaki asked cautiously, "We know he's powerful, but is he that strong?"

- "This Archer is at least on the level of the Sirzechs Knight, Okita Soji," Serafall stated, to which she received stunned looks from Sona's entire entourage. Especially Sona herself, "I've seen how he moves and how much he holds back. And that worried me."

I'd say Archer is stronger than that. One Gae Bolg and that's it.

- "He's not as dangerous as you think. Although he's an annoying bastard, but hurting someone for no reason isn't his profile."

- "Maybe. But a man with that kind of power and in dangerous proximity to my sister still makes me uneasy," she insisted, "What if he thinks Sona and her entourage are a threat?"

- "Then talk to him in person and get to know him," I rolled my eyes, then smirked, "But be careful."

- "What do you mean?" She asked cautiously.

- "You could be the fifth? Yes, his fifth woman. Well, and Sona's sixth, if things keep going the way they are."

The reaction was immediate. It amazes me how quickly this woman's moods can change.

- "Noooo! I'm not giving him So-tan!" Serafall shrieked, breaking out of her serious mode and leaping at Sona, enclosing her in a bear hug, "She's mine alone!"

Sona herself froze, straddling the statue, and seconds later threw her sister off of her and ran out of the Student Council room with tears in her eyes.

- "Sis, I hate you!"

- "I'm sorry, So-tan!" Serafall rushed after her, "I won't do it again!"

Yeah. Classic. It's a lot more fun to watch it live than on the screen, though.

As the duo left the room, there was silence. No one said anything, and Tsubaki rubbed her temples tiredly.

- "I... apologize for this scene," she bowed, "I hope you will forget this incident."

- "How could I forget it?" I grinned and stood up from my seat and headed for the exit, "Now that we're done, I'll get back to work. And you probably need a way to keep this whole thing quiet."

- "You mean slack?" Tsubasa asked with a wry smile, "You're right, though. We have plenty to do."

- "Good luck then."

And with those words, I left the Student Council room, ignoring her comment.

-0-

Emiya Residence.

Upon returning home, I found none of the residents of the residence. None at all. Not even Fou, who usually slept in one of the rooms or on Tiamat's head. And Hercules, usually standing outside, had also gone somewhere. And I have no idea where or why at all. Though it's likely Grandfather is here somewhere, it's just not realistic to spot him.

Shrugging, I collapsed on the couch and was about to snuggle up for dinner, but suddenly the doorbell rang, though I obviously wasn't expecting anyone.

Ding dong.

Walking to the door and opening it, I slammed my palm sharply on my face, heralding a headache. And Goetia's caustic laughter wasn't helping the cause at all.

- "Good evening, Mr. Archaman," the guest bowed, as did the other two behind him, and smiled politely, "I'm delighted to meet you in person. Can we come in?"

- "You know what? Exclusively to avoid an even bigger headache than it already is, I'll let you in." I said in an irritable tone and let the guests inside.

- "We apologize for the visit," they bowed again and went inside.

They sat down on a vacant couch and behaved as modestly as possible, though their eyes stayed on me as I sat across from them.

The silence lasted about a minute or so before I decided to start talking.

- "So. Pardon my French, but what the hell are two archangels and a nun with an indecent body doing here?"

The man kept a calm smile on his face, the woman pouted, and the nun cast an uncertain look at me, as if deciding how to react to my words to her.

Yep. Michael, Gabriel, and Griselda, respectively. I think the decision to reveal ourselves was a hasty one.

- "We would like to personally welcome the reincarnation of a man whose wisdom the Father has personally recognized," Michael said with a note of awe, "We are truly pleased to welcome the reincarnation of Solomon, King of Israel."

He then stood up, as did the other two, and all three bowed once more. For the THIRD time, please note.

- "Didn't I tell you to get used to the attention, Romani?" Goetia asked with a sneer in his voice, "How embarrassing, eh? Such scrutiny, and from two archangels, representatives of the highest ranks of Heaven itself... You want to run away and hide somewhere, don't you?"

I'll send you away, you bastard. Twice. For this and the last time you made a joke about me. You bet I will.

Looking around at the trio, I saw pure respect and acceptance in their eyes... Which made me rub my temples hard.

Fuck.

Maybe I should just erase their memories.

-0-

A/N: How's the chapter? Give us your opinion. You may well be able to influence future chapters.
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[mirzael]

Emiya residence.

I had finished my fourth cup of coffee during the silence. Which did nothing to lower my headache and irritation level.

- "Is our visit inconveniencing you, Mr. Romani?" Michael asked cautiously, seeing my irritation, which I didn't try to hide.

- "Oh, my God. How could you think that?" I indignantly pressed my palm to my face, "A humble man like me was visited by such distinguished and majestic guests as you. I am so filled with joy that I cannot contain my smile. Don't you see that?"

The Leader of the Heavens still kept a smile on his face, Gabriel looked at me incomprehensibly, and Griselda's eyebrow twitched.

What else did they expect after arriving here in person? Don't they realize that demons won't sit idly by when not one, but two archangels arrived in Kuoh? I have no doubt that Sirzechs and Serafall are already tearing up at this news.

- "Whose fault is this?" I heard Goetia in my head, "I remember it was your decision to reveal yourself to the archangel, wasn't it, Romani? What's the saying? 'You fight for what you fight for, you get what you get'?"

- "I didn't know that two archangels would show up here at once," I answered him, "And why am I justifying myself to you?"

- "Because you admit your stupidity?" he said with undisguised sneer.

- "Dreaming is not a bad time…"

I was about to contradict him when Michael interrupted my conversation with Goetia.

- "I suppose our visit was unexpected," he said, "but we couldn't help but do it."

- "Because of my humble personality, I take it?"

- "You yourself must realize that Solomon's personality is of great importance not only to Heaven, but to the entire Biblical faction," he began with admiration in his voice, "Even apart from his... special fascination with women, he was probably one of the greatest Saints in history. And the entire Council of Archangels considered him an extremely important person, since Father himself recognized him."

Hehe. At the mention of God, he became sad, and Gabriel's eyes began to water.

Yeah, yeah, God is dead... I wouldn't say that, though. His will still exists in the True Longinus, and if I wanted to, resurrecting him wouldn't be a problem. But would it be worth it? I don't know, I don't know.

- "On that basis, we would like you to be part of the Church. And according to my sister, your personality is a replica of the original Solomon. Only with less attraction to women and a rougher personality."

- "Rough? I'm telling it like it is, not mincing words. If someone's an asshole, they're an asshole. No buts or ifs." I shrugged my shoulders, "And I remember telling the Cardinal, that obscene nun and your sister, didn't I?"

- "I see. We'll... figure something out," he nodded.

Then there was silence in the room. Michael was thinking seriously about changing the structure of the Church. His eyes did not move, and his hand scratched his chin in thoughtfulness. Gabriel, on the other hand, looked at him with troubled eyes. And so did Griselda. I decided to bring him out of it, of course, because I didn't want to wait for him to think it over.

- "Is that the only reason for your visit?" I leaned back on the couch, "Because I don't think it is."

- "You're right," he nodded, "There was a situation that you mentioned in a conversation with my sister a couple days ago."

- "Оh? So the holy toothpicks were stolen after all?" I asked, rolling my eyes.

- "Toothpicks, Mr. Archaman?" Griselda took the floor, "I don't mean to be impertinent, but calling artifacts of this level 'toothpicks' is rather rude."

I grinned.

There's no other way to call these reforged Excaliburs. If you compare them to the Noble Phantasms, they're at most D rank. Explosion on every strike? That's a bit weak. Shape-shifting? Not bad, but only if the wielder is someone at the level of Emiya. Mind control? Magic resistance, hello.

And I could give some sort of a head start, given the circumstances of this world and the anti-demon properties of the swords, but their durability... I'm guessing they'd be more likely to shatter than the shield if they hit Rho Aias.

- "Believe it or not, there's no other way to call these things."

- "May I ask why?" Gabriel asked, tilting her head to the side.

Okay. Now we can find out what my local colleague was capable of. Though I doubt he'll be as powerful.

- "Just for the record, do you know what Solomon's powers were?" I assumed a businesslike demeanor.

Michael took on a pensive look, as did Gabriel. And Griselda waited with genuine interest for an answer.

- "Aside from the obvious power over demons? He was quite a powerful mage." Scratching his chin Michael replied.

Well, now that they're here, I think Azazel would be a good addition to the conversation.

I snapped my fingers and a magic circle with Solomon's seal appeared underneath us all. A regular six-pointed star encased in a circle. Seeing this, Michael and Gabriel were not particularly wary, unlike Griselda. She was about to pull out the sword hanging at her side as the next moment we disappeared from Emiya's residence.

Oh, yeah. Did I mention there were already demons at the door of the house?

-0-

Azazel's house.

- "Where are we?" she asked with concern in her voice as the lights went out, sword drawn. At the same time, the two archangels were examining the decorations of the room.

And it was quiet and eerie. Just like the last time I came here. Is Azazel playing hide and seek with Nightingale again?

SCREEP

Suddenly there was an eerie creak of a door, and we all turned slowly in its direction. Berserker walked through it with her scalpels clasped between her fingers with a calm step, and upon finding us with a glance, she stopped and lowered her hands, putting them away.

- "Оh? Master? I thought intruders had broken in," she said and shifted her gaze to the others, "Who are these? Patients? Amputation or injection?"

Michael had his perpetual smile on his face and Gabriel had a look of intense surprise on hers. Apparently her eyes told her who it was.

- "Who in…" Griselda was about to ask a question when I interrupted her.

- "It's all right, Berserker." I raised my hand. I'm looking for Azazel.

- "Azazel?" Michael asked.

- "Is the brother here?" Gabriel added.

- "This is his house after all." I shrugged and turned toward Nightingale, "I hope you didn't castrate him, Berserker. Can you take us to him?"

- "Sure," she nodded and led us somewhere, "Please behave yourselves. He's on sick leave."

- "Is he sick?!" Archangel asked excitedly, "What's wrong with him? Is his life in no danger?"

- "Unfortunately, yes. He has a severe alcohol addiction," Nightingale nodded, and stopped at one of the doors of the house, "He's behind that door. And please don't disturb the patient too much. Otherwise, it may prolong his treatment time."

I nodded briefly and entered the room. And what my eyes saw can only be described as a horror movie.

There was only one single lamp burning in the room, which hung in the middle of the room. There were metal bars attached to the window and the walls resembled those in hospitals. In the room was a hospital bed, to which Azazel was handcuffed.

He was dressed in a straitjacket and his eyes were dead and resembled a dead fish. He didn't move or blink, he just... was. Azazel looked more like a corpse or a vegetable than a patient or a sick person. And only the heart monitor showing his pulse gave information that he was alive at all.

- "Fuck..." I muttered, seeing all this.

Maybe I'd gone a little overboard. By some fraction of a percent, say. Because now I felt sorry for him. Turning toward the others present, I saw Michael's very concerned face and Griselda's nervous look. And Gabriel...

- "Brother!" she shrieked and ran over to the bunk and started tugging on his shoulder, "How are you feeling! Are you alright?!"

Azazel slowly turned towards her voice and upon seeing Gabriel, his eyes widened so much that I was worried they were going to pop out of his eye sockets.

- "S-sister..." he muttered in a weak voice, "S-save yourself... The d-devil is near... R-run..."

And then he lost consciousness, apparently unable to believe his eyes.

- "Brother! Brother!" Gabriel started yanking him from side to side, "Come to your senses!"

- "Mr. Archaman," Michael called to me cautiously, "What happened here? Why is Azazel in such a state? And who is this 'Devil' he mentioned?"

- "I will only say that I am not to blame for this. Figuratively."

- "Figuratively?! Why does the Governor General of the Fallen look like he survived the war?! And his psychological state is so unstable, judging from his behavior, that I think he's going to go insane! You…"

- "What's all the noise, dear visitors?" came the calm voice of Berserker, who entered the room like a ghost. I jumped, Griselda raised her sword, and Michael opened all twelve of his wings to defend himself. Gabriel tried to wake Azazel, "Didn't I tell you not to disturb the patient?"

And she was looking at us with eyes so scary that it made me want to pee. I did what anyone else in my position would have done.

- "Fuck it!" I shouted and activated the teleportation circle, taking myself, Azazel, Michael, Gabriel, and Griselda back to the Emiya residence and knocking Nightingale out with 3rd magic.

Once home, I instantly created an entire liter kettle of coffee and drained it in a volley, trying to calm myself down.

Nurse of steel? More like Freddy Krueger in a skirt, for crying out loud!

Fuck this kind of adventure. Just fuck it. I won't make that mistake again. Never in my life. Uh-huh.

-0-

A/N: How's the chapter? Give us your opinion. You may well be able to influence future chapters.
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You'll be able to read more chapters there.

 

[mirzael]

Emiya residence.

- "I... Thank you for saving me... I thought... that I would spend the rest of eternity in such a... state..." Azazel practically whispered in a weak voice as Gabriel spoon-fed him, her worried gaze never leaving him. Neither did Michael, who was sitting across from him.

Honestly, I'm still shaking from what happened in the house of the Governor General of the Fallen. I never thought I'd naturally find myself in a horror movie.

And Azazel? I managed to resuscitate him, although it took a lot of effort. With 3rd magic, I erased the most... unhealthy memories from his mind, scraping out every detail of what he'd been through. And now Azazel is slowly recovering with support from the archangels. Griselda stood behind Michael and watched the whole thing.

I didn't completely erase his memory because, given his temper, he would have wanted to get to the truth. He wouldn't now. Definitely not.

- "Well... I didn't expect it to turn out this way. I'm sorry," I tilted my head toward Azazel, "I assure you, she won't bother you again."

At the mention of Nightingale, he began to tremble, and Gabriel hugged him gently to quiet his trembling.

- "As... compensation, I'm willing to help you with one thing of yours and provide one Servant of your personal choice," I said and rubbed my temples, "Besides, I'm the reincarnation of Solomon. That's just for the record."

He froze and slowly looked up at me.

- "Solomon?" He blinked with disbelieving eyes, "The same Solomon I used to hang out with?"

Heh. They hung out together? I guess my local counterpart's attraction to women brought him and Azazel closer together.

- "I don't know about that, since I'm not him," I shrugged and turned toward Michael, "Where did our conversation break down? Ah, yes. Solomon's abilities."

I paused for a moment before continuing.

- "Since the theory of parallel universes makes sense because of the Space Between Dimensions and the existence of two dragon gods... In short, I'm from another world."

- "Another world?" Michaell was surprised, but not too much, "Can I ask how different it is from ours?"

- "Not much. It's just that mankind has left the gods there," I began, to which I received a raised eyebrow from the current ruler of the Heavens and a surprised look from his sister, "In my world, time can be divided into three eras: Gods, fairies, and humans. During the first one, supernatural beings walked amongst ordinary humans and it was considered the norm."

- "That is, what is happening now." Michael commented thoughtfully.

- "Right," I nodded, "In the second, something happened and dealt with almost all of them. It was then, with the support of the planet itself, that the fairies forged Excalibur, the physical embodiment of the prayer called 'glory', which is conceptually indestructible as long as at least one person is alive. And now do you understand why I called your Excaliburs 'toothpicks'?"

- "Unfortunately," Griselda replied, "your sword is far superior to ours, though I don't want to admit that fact. After all, ours was forged by God himself. And if your words are true, this sword can defeat even someone like Shiva, the god of destruction, and is virtually indestructible."

- "With enough mana? No question. And not 'virtually indestructible', but 'indestructible in principle'. Well, at least as long as one person is alive. But that doesn't matter, because the power of the gods depends on the number of believers, does it?" I grinned, to which I got a nod, "What am I talking about? Exactly. And the third one, only a few still walk among humans and are carefully hidden due to some factors I won't mention. And that's the one going on at the moment, the age of man."

Having finished my explanation, I took a sip of coffee and waited for my words to fully sink into their heads.

For them, the very possibility of excluding supernatural beings from the lives of humans is... unattainable. They are so used to the current realities that they haven't even considered it. A cost of Sefar's absence from this world, I suppose.

I wonder what the history of the world would be like if she were here? After all, the local gods are far weaker than their Nasuverse counterparts. They don't embody a concept, they merely borrow it. It's like comparing a guy scooping water out of a lake with a bucket to the lake itself. The difference is so enormous that the comparison becomes ridiculous.

- "By the way," I heard Michael's voice, coming out of his thoughts, "You said something about Solomon's abilities. What did you mean?"

- "Were there others? Well, besides demon control and not bad magic, of course." Azazel, who had more or less come to his senses, joined the conversation. And Griselda and Gabriel's ears perked up.

- "Not bad?" I grinned, "Azazel-kun, you don't realize what an understatement of the century you just made."

- "What do you mean by that?"

- "The seventy-two Pillars are very powerful on their own, aren't they?" I asked, to which all four of them quickly agreed, "What if I told you that the Solomon of my world made them even more powerful?"

They froze when they heard my words.

- "More powerful?" Michael asked cautiously, while Griselda and Gabriel gave me a concerned look.

- "How?" Azazel asked, intrigued.

I answered them with a flick of my finger, and a few seconds later, Goetia materialized at the table. Upon seeing him, Griselda bared her sword, Michael and Gabriel opened their wings, readying themselves for battle, and Azazel examined every detail of Beast I.

- "Ah, yes. I forgot to mention one very amusing fact," I said, placing my hands on the table and crossing my fingers in a lock. And my chin rested on them, keeping my head upright, "With the advent of the age of man, seven entities were born. Seven entities embodying the seven sins of mankind. Not trivial ones like 'Envy', 'Lust', and so on, but far more profound ones. Like 'Regression' and 'Comparison' and so forth. And in my world, they're called Beasts. They're conceptually immortal beings who can't die until human progress stagnates or goes extinct altogether. Amazing, isn't it?"

I paused, and the eyes of my listeners widened at what I heard.

- "And before you sits the Beast I. The very first of them, created personally by Solomon with his 'not bad' magic, who combined all seventy-two original demons into one being, making him the Demon God King. A ritual to correct the Order of Mankind, epitomizing the sin of 'Pity', Goetia."

- "It is interesting to meet you in person, representatives of Heaven." He said in a dramatic voice.

The guests did not blink. Didn't move. Even stopped breathing. They looked like statues of the most skillful work that mankind was capable of. And it was Griselda who was the first to come out of her stupor.

- "What?!" she exclaimed, her eyes practically bulging out of her eye sockets, "You've got to be kidding me! You mean to tell me that we are essentially having all seventy-two Pillars sitting in front of us?!"

- "Indeed. We are here." The simultaneous response of dozens of different voices rang out in the room at once, and magical circles with the seal of each demon Pillar lit up around Goetia, "Does this embarrass you, servant of God?"

Hearing them, the guests flinched, and Gabriel generally began muttering the names of the demons whose voices she could recognize.

- "Sitri, Beleth, Leraye, Phenex, Morax..."

- "Fun fact, damn it!" Azazel picked up on it, "Do you realize what you've just revealed to us?!"

- "I-I agree with them," Michael joined them in a trembling voice, "Y-you realize how much power you have in your hands?"

- "In his hands?" Goetia raised an eyebrow, "I obey only myself, Archangel. This wretched man is not my command."

- "Oh?" I rolled my eyes, "It is not good to lie. I don't give you orders just because I don't need to."

- "Your comment has been ignored, Magician."

- "Uh-huh," I waved it away and turned to the guests, "Anyway, don't pay attention to him. He's not worth it."

- "Not worth it?! Wake up, Romany! Do you have any idea what will happen if the others find out about him?! They'll start treating humanity as a disease to be eradicated, for crying out loud!" Azazel yelled, pointing his finger at Goetia, "And the fact that he's basically part of Biblical mythology makes it even worse! There's going to be a war! Everyone is against us!"

- "Well, about the first point - they already think so, at least some of them, but about the second? I doubt it. And besides, what makes you think I don't have enough power to deal with all of them?" I shrugged, to which I got twitchy faces, "Servants haven't been canceled, you know. Some of them killed gods and, by enlisting themselves in the Throne of Heroes, got anti-divine properties at their disposal. And weapons of the same type. That's just for the record."

He froze again and stared at me intently.

- "Servants? Throne of Heroes?" Gabriel asked, uncomprehending.

- "You'll find out from Azazel. I was tired of repeating the same explanation."

I rubbed my temples.

I suppose it was wise not to tell them about the two more Beasts living under my roof. And the Grand Servants, of course. Otherwise they'd have died right here. Uh-huh.

-0-

A/N: How's the chapter? Give us your opinion. You may well be able to influence future chapters.
My P.a.t.r.e.o.n: P.a.t.r.e.o.n.c.o.m/mirzael
You'll be able to read more chapters there.

 

[Akuma-Heika]

"Even if Uther Pendragon isn't the best father, I understand his decisions. And... I'd rather he didn't die of old age," Arthur replied, then looked at Morgan, "He's not dead, is he?"

Click to shrink...

So does he want to kill him personally, or did you mean to say he would rather he die of old age?

"So, you bear your father's name, eh?" Mordred asked

Click to shrink...

Don't lie to your big sister!" Serafall pointed her finger at her.

Click to shrink...

FTFY

whose wisdom the Father has personally recognized

Click to shrink...

That's different from Biblical and Nasu canon (where Solomon's Wisdom was a blessing given by God [although it could be argued that Solomon was at least wise enough to know he wasn't wise enough, when that is what he asked for, when God gave him a blank check])

I'll send you away, you bastard. Twice. For this and the last time you made a joke about me. You bet I will.

Click to shrink...

Solomon's wisdom was compromised when Romani got it

"You yourself must realize that Solomon's personality is of great importance not only to Heaven, but to the entire Biblical faction

Click to shrink...

FTFY

Nurse of steel? More like Freddy Krueger in a skirt, for crying out loud!

Click to shrink...

lol