On Farm for Miltank, greedy cows ate all my Oran Berries!
Caught a Tauros! Bruiser has joined the party.
Bug catching contest. Maybe I'll get a cute butterfree!
You know for bugs these pokemon are pretty darn cute.
Oh christ giant bladed mantis! Help me Ralph!
Woo got a Scyther, and she's timid aww, I guess I misjudged you, how about a hu- on second thought a nice pat on the head is also good.
Alita has joined the Party!
I Lost, I lost to a kid with a Caterpie, what catching game were the reffs watching!?
*sticks "Hug Me" sign on back and watchs chaos*
Mt. Mortar
Caught a machop, Teddy Joins the Party.
Went to pick up my Dratini from the Daycare, she leveled up quite a bit, the old woman wouldn't give her back so I had to dip into my rainy day fund.
Illyana joins the Party at lvl 28!
Olivine city
Silver came out of the gym, he was being a dick and said the gym leader is taking care of a sick pokemon at the light house and that she should have just let it die since the only pokemon of any worth are those that can fight. He tells me to go train at the light house.
Illyana evolved.
Back at Burned Tower
Caught Weezing, Hudson joins the party!
Heavy G evolved
Exploring downstares and saw a bunch of scary dog things! They run away, oh god the blue one's coming at me! Can't move, dog will eat me! It leaves and I might need some new pants.
Eusine: DID YOU SEE IT!!!!????
Gah! ...now I /definitely/ need some new pants...
Eusine: I've been chasing Suicune all these years and I've never seen it so close! I'm all choked up! Clearly it see something in you, they say legandary pokemon love purity... So to catch Suicune Obviously I must steal your purity!
('_') ...Azula. Roast him.
And so I leave the burned tower with another pile of ash on it's already dirty floor.
Off to fight Morty
This is the most terrorfying place I've ever been in, it's like walking into the abyse the shadows are so dark I swear they seem to be eating the surounding light. And it filled with ghosts & old people! I'm relying on Ralph and his Mind flaying powers and mental fortitude!
the evil old people are turning out the candles out of spite to get me to walk over the edge! That's it when I get out of here I'm signing that euthenasia bill! Oh god I've never been so terrorfied!
After enduring trauma I'm sure I'll need /years/ of theropy to recover from I make it to Morty.
After careful testing I figured out Gengars moveset, it has only one move that can hurt Ralph with only 5pp, I use the Hypnosis to prep Ralph with battle items. Ralph Mind flays Mortys team.
Yeah! Now to begin the horrible journey back to the door.
Morty: Oh there's no need I have a short cut, it'll take you where you deserve in no time!
ReallY? Thank you! Where is it?
Morty: Over here, a little closer, Here's the shortcut.*Shove* The Shortcut to Hell!
GYAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH~!
Morty: Hahaha, I can't beleive you fell for that! I just use a colored fog machine. Crap! Don't cry, I hate it when girls cry! uh, uh, here! have this TM! It's shadow ball!
--------
Now that water is no longer a veriable it's back tracking time!
In Union cave Ran into a hiker, He used a 'Jihadude' Almost lost Ralph but my baby's one tough cookie!
Ran into the Ace sisters. Annoyingly difficult to beat.
route 42, Caught Flaffy, Luxia joins the party.
--------------
Back at Olivine...
Going to the light house to train.
At the top I found a girl with a very sick looking pokemon, the amphardos was in real bad shape. Jasmine asked me to go a pharmasy nearby for some medicine to help.
You got it! This trainer is on the case! Side quest ho!
Water route _yeah_. The trunks on the guys are skin tight, at least they aren't speedos.
...why did I just think that? ;A;
Some guy says the water around him is nice and warm. ...ew!
Finaly made it to Cianwood, Hey there's a gym! But no time to dawdle gotta save an Amphardos!
Girl on the island says the leader spars with his pokemon, holy pokechrist! that is hardcore! And some poor guy had his pokemon stolen by What had to be Silver, yet another thing for him to pay for *fistshake*. He wants to give me the other in case he comes back.
Shuckle woo!
I got the medicine from the guy with the russian accent, it smells like my mom after she gets home from the bar. I have determined that the quickest way back is by flying since I don't have to deal with 100 encounters on the water, so I must beat the local gym. going north to punch a few rocks for training.
Hey whats tha- Oh god! It the blue monster dog! It circles me and jumps at my face again!
At least this time my pants remain clean
Eusine: MARRIL DID YOU JUST SEE SUICUNE RUNNING ON WATER!?
...spoke too soon.
Eusine: Suicune is so gracefull and beautiful and majestic *shiver*
... ('_') I'm outta here. And I'm calling that guy from 'To Catch a Predator' on you!
Eusine: No! I want to be closer to my darling Suicune! I relized earlier that I made a mistake, Suicune respects your courage not you innocence!
Ha! Well that's nice. well I better get go-
Eusine: ...So that's why I must kill you and eat your heart! That way I can get gain your courage. You're tasty tasty courage!
...What?
Managed to beat the psycho
Eusine: Drat, looks like I lost, I think I'm starting to see the real reason Suicune is watching you.
No you don't, and don't even try. That monster dog just want's to haunt my nightmares.
Eusine: Well I better get back to searching for Suicune.
Yes yes, go. go far far /far/ away from me.
Eusine: I have a feeling we'll see each other again!
God I hope not...
Now to the Gym!
The leader is standing under a waterfall, on his head, in weighted cloths, holding up a giant boulder. ...Is it too late too change my mind? He sees me and HOLY MOTHER OF POKECLAUS! HE JUST PUNCHED THE WATERFALL IN TWO!!!! He's pissed that I interupted his training and now we must fight.
Chuck: Chuck SMASH!
Oh god we're gonna die!
Ralph got a lucky crit. on the primape, the poliwrath was just horrible. Spaming Hypnosis/Focus punch/Surf. Thank Arceus for Charm but chuck also spamed healing items, where the hell are you getting these things!? And how do you keep hitting on Hypnosis!?
Chuck: Chuck got endorsement deal with company. They use Chuck for free advertising and Chuck get cheap items. Really help in Chuck's training. On 2nd, Chuck not know, Chuck just lucky.
Crap, well I guess it's a battle of atrition via stock. And this soon may became my most expensive battle yet. managed to win though. And Chuck is also pretty cool when he's not trying to kill me. Even gave me the Focus punch TM. Woo! Now I can fly back! ...Wait I don't have the HM, *twitch*. Oh coolio some lady oputside the gym gave me hers! Minutes later Ralph defied physics, logic, and biology and flew us back to Olivine.
Gave the medicine to Jasmine. And upon drinking it Apmhy goes super nova. And the whole world went white...
*Later* Gym
Jasmine: Hello again Marill, this may be odd but we haven't properly introduced ourselves. I'm Jasmine, the gym leader here and I use Steel pokemon.
Hello, you know who I am, I'm the girl you blinded and left at the top of a tall tower right next to a hole in the floor.
Jasmine: ...Sorry I didn't think you would look directly into it. oh well
I COULD HAVE BROKEN MY NECK!
Jasmine: But you didn't, now back to the matter at hand, we have a battle to fight.
...*twitch* Azula. you know what to do. *Uses Azula flamethrower and goes all Rambo*
Jasmine: ... You are a strong trainer, much more skilled, powerful, pretty and kind than me! Especially kind! And Forgiving!
Just shut up and give me my prizes.
Some grinding later Azula Evolves!
On the way to mahogany town! ...Mahogany.
Suicune! (;[]
Eusine: SUICUNE BEAUTIFUL REFRESHING QUICK!!!
What do you want, I have to get to Mahogony Town and change. ...Mahogany.
Eusine: You are always around whenever Suicune Apears! So I've been following you! Secretly! You should get that mole on your butt checked out!
(;^

Eusine: It is a mystery why Suicune loves you! I've check all the myths and I still can't figure it out! I won't stop stalking you until I learn just what it is that make you so irresistable and steal it for myself! You hear me!
And then he jumps back into the bushs.
Now Mahogany Town, the town known for it's tourist traps. ...Mahogany.
Now to visit the tourist traps, got a ragecandybar. Horrible taste, expensive, but I must have moar! Also visited the completely unalarming and not at all suspicious suvineir stand.
Oh it's almost time to hear my lottery numbers, so turn on the radio and- Gah! oh god the noise is horrible! It's like a million nails scratching at the chalkboard of my brain!
At lake of rage, cuaght red Gyarados.
Lance: Hey are you a random child? Want to needless risk your life for absolutely for no payoff whatsoever?
Boy skippy I do! Do I look like an idiot that would agree to anything an adult asks me to do?
Lance: Yes.
Damn, you're right

Lance: Okay, there's this mysterious radio signal that is forcing the Magikarp in the lake to evolve.
...So what's wrong with that? It's like audio rarecandy, which sounds pretty awesome.
Lance: ...*PIMPSLAP* Meet me at the souvineir stand. Or I /will/ find you
Well since he's asking for my help his pokemon can't be all that strong. Hey lance I'm here.
Lance: Hyperbeam!
And than sudently the entire right side of the souvineir stand disapeared in a beam of pure destruction. Oh god you just killed that guy!
Lance: You didn't see anything. Right?
Dragonite: *evil grin*
I see Not'ing. NOT'ING!
Lance: Good. Now to the basement, Dragonite's still hungry.
Basement? Oh look there's some stairs in the rubble, right next to owners charred corpse. That Dragonite just eat in one bite. ...(;^
Bang!Band!Bang!Bang!Bang!Bang! Oh god he's got a gun!
Grunt: Now you're probably asking yourself, did I fire 6 shots or just 5, So Are you feeling lucky punk! huh are you!?
You fired 6.
Grunt: Huh really? *looks down barrel**click click* Guess you're right, well We have explosives all over the floor, one step and you'll just be a black mark on the floor and some red stain on the ceiling!
Turns out the the explosives were Jihadude. It's worse than I thought!
Ran back into Lance, he heals my guy, thanks!
Lance: Hey, I need a meat sheild anyway. Besides I just took them off that pile of ash right there. Now go find the passwords for me like a good little minion.
Hey! ...I perfer 'Henchgirl' it makes me sound like a super hero.

And can't you just use Hyperbeam?
Lance: *PIMPSLAP* That's saved whn there's some one else on the other end! So either get the passwords or stand infront of the door!
Azula managed to beat the password out of a couple grunts.
Silver: Oh, you have got to be kidding me. /You/ again. Out of the way, /I'm/ the one going to take down rocket. But first tell me who the man in the cape is. He was strong enough to beat me, His speed, stregth, endurance, and techneique where beyond anything I've ever seen! He'll be the pole which I'll measure myself against. I'll find him again and this time I'll be the one on top!
I knew it! I knew your where like that!
Silver:*Punch* a weakling like you knows nothing! *storms off*
Oh god my face!
Opened the door. Guy says he's the leader Giovani.
... No you aren't. Giovani looks nothing like you. You're just wearing an Al Cappone rubber mask.
Blah Blah blah, voice activated password. Blah blah, Rocket disbanded. Blah blah, we'll be back. Blah blah, can't stop us without my voice.
Hey I didn't know Murkrow could talk...
New exec apears and she tries to jump me with a grunt. Sudently their pokemon are consumed by a white lazer and disapear. Well that was quick.
Lance: Well, I've done my part. Now be a good meatshield and take care of those electrode for me.
...Fuck. You. So. MUCH!
Azula managed to get them all before they could blow thank god.
Lance: Good meatsheild, here have this HM, it sucks ass anyway. Also nice hat, yoink!
Hey!
HM05 Whirlpool get! Man this day sucks. I'll get you for this Lance!