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What We Need Here/Is A Little Bit Of Panic (Persona 5 Genderbent Protagonist)

April 14, Part 2
"See?" the not-a-cat shrieked at Ann, gesturing frantically with his head in Ryuji's direction. (His paws were presumably being used to keep himself upright.) "He gets it! He's known me for less than a minute and he gets it! Why can you not get it?!" He took a deep breath, then, and turned to regard Ryuji with what was probably meant as a benevolent expression, but just came off as smug. "Greetings, good sir," he purred. "It is a pleasure to make the acquaintance of such a perspicacious individual. I am Morgana, your humble instructor in the Noble Art of Phantom Thievery."

"... kay," said Ryuji, regarding this with what was probably meant as a bewildered expression ... and came off as just that. Momentarily, he managed to lift his gaze to regard Kurusu. "I get why you thought he should introduce himself, now."

"Mmm," replied Kurusu, who then turned to look at Ann and spoke quietly. "How is Suzui-san?"

Ann sighed. "I got her home all right, yesterday, but she texted last night that she's not coming back to school while Kamoshida's still here. I dunno how long her 'rents are gonna put up with that, though."

"Right," Kurusu replied with a nod. "Then that's our deadline. We have to get this done before Suzui-san has to come back to school. If possible, by next Monday. Today, though ..." She trailed off, glancing over to where Ryuji was conversing with Morgana.

Ann followed her gaze and guessed at its implications. "We go in, get it done and then get the hell out?"

"Yes." Raising her voice. "Are you ready to go, then?" she asked Ryuji.

Ryuji's head snapped up. "Doubt it, but we better get a move on anyway. Oh! Yeah, that reminds me -- I thought about what you said about it being dangerous, so I brought somethin' that might make me seem a little more dangerous than I am!" He turned to where his own bag was resting.

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you've managed to hold on to one of those stupid Ultraman masks they sell at festivals or something," asked Ann, wearily.

"No, but I bet that would have been an awesome backup to what I actually did bring," he replied, producing a pistol from the bag.

Ann gaped. "OMFG, Ryuji, where the hell did you get a gun and why did you bring it to school?" she fairly shrieked.

Ryuji found himself stepping back from the force of her dismay. "Sheesh, why don't you go tell the whole world instead of just you, me, Morgana and -- hey, where'd she go?" he asked, defensive posturing momentarily forgotten.

Ann turned to see that there was indeed a vacant space where Kurusu had been only a moment or so earlier. "Wha--" she started to ask, then leaned back a bit. "Ah, thought so," she said, before returning her accusatory gaze to Ryuji. "It's a toy gun, right?" she asked heavily.

Still confused, Ryuji nodded hesitantly. "Yeah, all it does is make noise. I figured the sight of it might spook the monsters, though."

"Yes, because we all know supernatural monsters are terrified of guns," Ann replied disgustedly. Somewhat more loudly, she repeated, "Toy gun, just makes noises."

Slooooowwwly, Kurusu poked her head out from the staircase entryway where she had taken cover, clearly still spooked.

"Ohhh, you weren't kidding about her not hating me," said Ryuji. To his credit, he promptly hid the gun away in his pack.

"Yeah, she hasn't known you nearly long enough for that," Ann replied.

"Thanks."

"I'm sure Lady Akira will come to understand your admirable qualities in time, Sir Ryuji," Morgana assured him.

"Heh, thanks." This time, it sounded a bit more sincere.

"Sir?" Ann growled.
 
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April 14, Part 3
Actually entering the palace, as he hadn't the previous day, was surprising for Ryuji on a number of levels. First, this time when the phone did its thing, there was no abrupt searing pain in his head -- which was nice. The relief when that didn't happen almost distracted him from the other big change when they started approaching the palace gates.

"Holy shit, what are you two wearing?" he yelped.

"I can't believe I honestly thought this was a good idea," Ann groaned into the pink gloved hand that was covering most of what could be seen of her face behind the red panther mask, while also covering parts of said mask. But therefore doing nothing to cover up the bright red latex costume she wore, though her elbow was conveniently over the window that showed off her cleav--

"Stop leering, Ryuji," Ann growled, free hand audibly tightening on the handle of the coiled-up whip she was holding.

"Okay," he promptly said, and turned his gaze on Kurusu. The black form-fitting outfit that she was wearing was honestly no less sexy than Ann's was, even if it showed much less skin and seemed designed more to be concealed by the long black coat she wore over top of it. A bit more unnerving were the fancy red gloves she was wearing on hands that were already clutching a pair of knives.

None of that was the biggest change, though. After the business with the gun, Ryuji had started to notice a lot of other indications that told him that Ann had gotten it right, that Kurusu was afraid of him. When they were walking to the alley, Kurusu had always tried to keep Ann between herself and Ryuji. Looking back on it, she had actually kept a fair amount of space between them when the two of them had come here yesterday, until she hadn't had any choice but to close the distance in order to keep him from going in the palace.

Now, though? Now the girl in front of him didn't seem scared of anything. And when she talked, as she was now --

Aw man, she's talking! Ryuji pulled himself out of his somewhat dazed speculations to listen.

"-- an outward manifestation of one's will to rebel," she said, in what was hopefully the tail end of the first sentence she'd said, instead of a later one. "When yours is awakened, it will probably take a form like your own ideas of what a Phantom Thief should look like."

"... okay, then we may have a real problem on our hands, 'cause I have no effing clue what a Phantom Thief should look like," Ryuji commented, conscious of how smoothly Kurusu was talking, how confident she sounded.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out, Sir Ryuji," said Morgana's voice, and naturally that prompted Ryuji to look down at him.

For a whole five seconds before he finally said, "Dang, Morgana, you weren't kidding about not being a cat!"

"Indeed not!" said the cartoon character standing before him, posing with his -- fists, he guessed -- on his hips, looking like he thought there was a cape blowing in the wind behind him. "I said it before and I'll say it again --"

"Yeah, you're way more like an advertising mascot or something," said Ryuji.

"Ooogh," Ann muttered, hand still over her face.

Morgana ceased speech and indeed all motion. Just as Ryuji was starting to get a bit worried about him, he resumed speech, though much more quietly. "Well, that is indeed an opinion that someone could have."

"So, what exactly is your deal? I didn't have time to ask about that before."

Recovering a bit further, Morgana continued. "I am a human, though I seem to have lost the appearance of such in one of my adventures in the palaces or possibly in -- ahem, that's getting a bit ahead of the subject. It is my belief -- nay, my certain faith -- that by stealing the treasures to be found within these realms that I will eventually be able to regain my true form. At which point I will probably look like a charming young gentleman who shall be adored by all ladies!" He grinned broadly, teeth gleaming even in the dim light of the palace's exterior.

"Well, that is indeed an opinion that someone could have," Ann muttered with a shake of her head.

"Ahem," Morgana coughed loudly and fakely. "Well, all this tumult outside of the palace has likely given the Shadows cause to notice us. You had all better brace yourselves. We're counting on you, Joker!"

A moment of silence ensued as everyone stared at the advertising mascot.

"Who?" said Kurusu.

"You!" replied Morgana, pointing at the black-clad thief with a series of rapid hand gestures. "Phantom Thieves must have code names! That is the basic of basics! And you are our trump card when it comes to fighting strength, therefore --"

"No," replied Kurusu. No shake of her head. Just a quietly voiced refusal. "I don't like that name."

"Well, what should we call you, then?" asked Ryuji and Morgana in chorus.

"Jinx," said Ann.

"Okay," Kurusu agreed with a short nod.

"Huh?" asked Ann, startled. "No, I was just, they said the same thing so I was --"

"I like it," said Kurusu. "What do you want to be called?"

Ann regarded her teammate with some apprehension, but pushed through it. "Well, considering how I look, I suppose I should go by --"

"Cat," interjected Morgana with gleaming eyes.

"... Panther," Ann growled, the tail attached to the rear of her costume implausibly sticking out in a straight line behind her.

"And you are Mona," said Kurusu as she looked down at Morgana. "Because you're a real piece of work."

"I'll take that compliment," Morgana replied cheerfully.

"Do I get a codename?" asked Ryuji, grinning in excitement.

"We'll talk about it after you wake up," Ann replied. "For now, you're just 'hey you'."

"... well, I was expecting something way crueller, so I'm good with it."
 
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April 14, Part 4
"All right," said Mona, walking down the short corridor that led from their entryway to the big foyer, a bit ahead of Panther and Jinx, who were in turn just a bit ahead of Hey You. "It seems I was mistaken about the security being raised because of all the noise we made just now. We should be clear until we get deeper into the palace." With that, he pushed open the door and guided them all into the foyer.

Standing on the walkway above was King Kamoshida, surrounded by no less than six of his green-armored guards. "You dare come back here, you wretched thieves?!" he nearly shrieked.

"Or this could happen," Mona quickly added. "I was just about to discuss this alternative possibility."

"Sure you were," Panther replied with a shake of her head.

"Bad enough that you came in here once and sought to humiliate my exalted self!" the royal pain declaimed over the rather noisy sounds of the guards trooping down the stairs towards the party of four. "Bad enough that you returned, to steal away the life of my beloved consort, Whatever Her Name Was! But now you return again to offer further effrontery in this time of mourning! How despicable -- don't you agree, Whatever Your Name Is?"

Owing to the angle at which they were viewing his position and the fact that he'd been surrounded by the guards up until now, the thieves hadn't noticed that Kamoshida was not standing up there alone. There was a young man wearing what could be charitably called an outfit that consisted of black leather pants, a mesh shirt, a chain wrapped around his neck like a collar, and a gleeful adoring smile on his face. "Yes, Daddy!" he cried out. "Anything you say, Daddy!"

"Mishima?" Ryuji gasped. "Wait, you're supposed to be dead! And what the eff are you wearing, dude?"

"Okay, one of those is a bigger deal than the other one is!" Panther yelled back at him, resolving to have a little chat with Ryuji later about his fixation on clothes. Right now, though, there were more critical matters, as the guards reached the bottom of the stairs and exploded out of their armor to reveal that they were weird black horse-thingies with curvy green horns.

"Hmmm?" growled Kamoshida, peering down at them. "What's this? I see you wretches have brought with you an even more wretched individual with you -- the notorious 'Track Traitor' whose violent ways spelled the end of his teammates' dreams! What terrible taste in allies, you thieves."

"Oh, get bent you emeffer!" Ryuji shouted back, and in one smooth move pulled out the gun and pointed it up at Kamoshida.

Who stared down at him with an eyebrow raised and his arms folded across his chest. "And what do you imagine that you're going to do with that?" he asked, scorn dripping from every word.

"Um," replied Ryuji, unprepared for this reaction. I guess supernatural creatures really aren't scared of guns, he thought. Oh, man, if we live through this Ann is never gonna let me live this down.

"Don't panic, Sir Ryuji!" Mona cried out. "That gun may be more than it seems!"

"What the hey, Mona?" Ryuji replied, not taking his eyes off Kamoshida. "I told you, it doesn't even shoot pellets!"

"But we're in a cognition! Here, your mind makes it all real! If you truly believe that you can, then you can you fire that gun!"

The horse-thingies were already attacking Panther and Jinx. There was no time to really think about what Mona had said. Ryuji drew in a deep breath through his nose ... and pulled the trigger.

A loud popping noise ensued.

"Or that could happen," Mona added. "I was about to address that alternative poss--"
 
April 14, Part 5
Ryuji blinked as he gazed across the floor of the foyer at the sight of the other three getting overwhelmed by repeated waves of those weird horse-things. Something seemed odd about his current circumstances. Hadn't he been standing over there, beside Morgana or Mona or whatever the cartoon character wanted to be called, when he took his shot at Kamoshida? (Okay, tried to take his shot.) How'd he gotten all the way over here, slumped on the floor against the wall beneath a window?

Oh, yeah, he realized a moment later as his gaze took in the golden-armored figure who was stomping towards him. That guy hit me and I flew all the way over here.

He wasn't sure where this bastard had come from; it was like he'd shown up out of nowhere once Ryuji pointed the gun towards the so-called King, and then made no noise at all as he strode up to smack Ryuji. Right now, he was clanking like the other armored guys had done as they came down the stairs, like he didn't see any more need for stealth. Or speed, given how slowly he was walking.

Get up, get up, Ryuji told himself, pushing himself up with his back against the wall. He managed to get most of the way into a standing position before he started to feel the all-too-familiar sensations of his leg screaming at him that he was asking too much of it. That hadn't happened in months, and its return was really unwelcome.

"Dammit," he groaned. "Am I gonna lose everything this time? I can't run, the track team is gone, and he's even killed people --"

"-- and once these three have met their fates," proclaimed Kamoshida from on high, "your fate shall be the same as theirs! But slower!"

"Sir Ryuji!" cried Mona, who was being stomped on by one of the horses.

"It's not over --" said Jinx, somehow blocking the horns of another one with her knife.

Weirdly, it was the former that did it. Despite how weird the little creature was, the respect and admiration that Mona had shown Ryuji since they met had been like a ray of light amidst the disgust and contempt that damn near everyone showed him. And now, someone else in his crew was gonna get hurt?

Nay, nix, never, m'boy! If ever there was a time to spit on your hands, hoist the black flag and start slitting throats, this surely was it! They think you're a scoundrel already, so be one already! No turning back now!

I am thou, thou art I. Fly the skull of rebellion and make them dread it! Call on my name and unleash thy terror!


The pain in his head, on his face, now dwarfed that in his leg, and he reached up to tear the mask he was wearing off his face.

"CAP'N KIDD!" he howled, in the moment before the vast pirate ship hovering above his head opened up with the sixteen cannons that lined its broadside, obliterating the golden knight before it could so much as utter a word.

"Guuhhhhh," Ryuji said a few moments later, once again slumped against a wall, but this time in the train station outside the palace.

"Which one do you want?" asked Ann, holding a pair of bottles as she stood over where he was seated, with Kurusu standing a bit behind her and Morgana once again in her bag.

"Which one's coffee?" asked Ryuji.

"... neither, they're both fizzy pops," Ann replied.

Shaking his head, he reached out to take the lemon-flavored fizzy pop, cracked open the lid and started downing it. "So, that was that Persona thing you were telling me about, right? I can fight, now?"

"Yes, and the gun should probably work after this, too," supplied Morgana. "I have a slingshot that I use the same way."

"Huh," said Ryuji, nodding.

Ann slowly turned to look at the cat. "Wait," she said. "Then how come you haven't used it already? That would have come in handy when --"

"Because reasons," Morgana answered with great solemnity.

"Fur. Gloves," Ann growled, hands starting to reach out for the bag. Kurusu subtly maneuvered to keep most of herself between Ann and Morgana, and Ann let her hands fall but kept on glaring.

"Cap'n Kidd. That's kind of awesome. He's like the original version of Gold Roger, right?" Ryuji said.

"Sort of, but that's kind of strange," said Kurusu, the first words she'd spoken since they left the palace.

"Strange how?" asked Ryuji.

She hesitated a moment, before speaking, much more rapidly than she usually did. "... my Persona, and Ann's Persona, too, are characters from stories. Captain Kidd was a real person. It doesn't really match up, unless maybe he's the storybook version of him ..." Now she trailed off, her lips still moving a bit but no sound being made.

Ryuji stared at this display without much understanding, then just nodded. "Whatever. I'm with you guys, now. Maybe we should exchange deets so that we can get in touch and make plans to go back in?"

That pulled Kurusu out of her daze. "'Deets'?" she repeated, sounding confused.

"Phone numbers," Ann explained. "We can save them to our phones, y'know?"

Kurusu blinked. "Oh," she said, in a way strongly suggestive of the idea that she did not, in fact, know.

Deciding not to explore the implications of that, Ann abruptly realized another difficulty attending the plan they were making. "Oh," she said. "You don't have a phone, right?" she asked Morgana.

"Alas, no," the cat replied. "But fret not, for I shall be able to observe any messages that are sent to Sir Ryuji, as I shall be living with him henceforth."

"Sorry?" said Ryuji, blinking.

"I'm sure it'll be no imposition," Morgana replied. "Though if you could arrange for regular supplies of fresh fish, that would be --"

"My building's got a strict no pets policy, dude. If they caught me bringing you home, my mom and I would be on the streets like that."

"Oh," said Morgana, clearly disappointed. "Well, um, I'm sure that the gracious Lady Ann would --"

"Guess again," Ann growled.

"He can live with me," said Kurusu. "I'll work it out."
 
April 14, Part 6
"Are you crazy?" asked Sojiro.

He was not altogether sure what annoyed him more -- the fact that his boarder had brought a cat into his cafe while there were customers present and then boldly asked if she could keep it, or the fact that, after he had pulled her into an alcove to discuss this situation out of the sight of the aforementioned customers, she had once again responded to this quite straightforward question by taking a moment to consider her response.

"Y'know what, don't bother answering," he said at last when she opened her mouth to give a response.

She obligingly shut up.

"No, you cannot keep it," he answered when he was sure he wasn't about to be interrupted.

"Him," she quietly corrected.

"Fine, him," Sojiro agreed in exasperation. His eyes slammed shut. "Don't tell me you've already named him," he asked wearily.

"... I haven't."

Also once again, the bullshit detector was giving a wonky response. On the one hand, it told him that she was not lying ... but everything else about the manner in which that brief statement seemed an incredibly calculated lie. Someone else must have named the cat. That was the simplest explanation, and so probably not the right one.

"Regardless, you can't keep an animal in this place," Sojiro continued. "He is a walking, meowing health code violation. You are lucky I don't declare you in violation just for --"

"So I was reading this article recently," said a woman's voice from back in the cafe, clearly pitched to carry. "Did you know that there's some literature claiming that people who have to care for something -- an animal, usually -- often show better results when trying to remain on good behavior than people who are responsible for no one but themselves?"

"... no, I can't say that I did," responded a male voice. "Nor do I find my life greatly enhanced by that knowledge. Also, why are you talking to me?"

"That's what you do in cafes, isn't it? Socialize? I've seen you talking the Boss' ear off quite a bit in the past."

"Well, yes, but --"

Sojiro let out a frustrated sigh, then coughed as he realized that the kid was looking over his shoulder as though trying to catch a glimpse of the customers who'd just been speaking. The cough yanked her attention back onto Sojiro.

"Okay. You can keep the cat. But make sure he stays quiet, especially when there are customers in here. And, so help me, no matter how cute and furry and loveable he might be, if I find him wandering around in my kitchen, leaving fur and other debris there, you will both be out the door faster than you can say, 'Wah, Doraemon'! Got it?"

The girl nodded shortly, while the cat, now poking his head out of her bag, made a smug-sounding cat noise. Sojiro reminded himself, firmly, that cats could not understand human speech, and that this one probably sounded smug all the damned time.

"All right, then -- get. I'll bring up some fish later, but after that you have to feed him yourself."

The girl nodded again, somewhat more deeply, and promptly trooped up the stairs. Annoyed at all this, Sojiro headed back to the kitchen, pausing to look in a rather unimpressed manner at a certain punkish-attired customer. She in turn smiled at him while sipping her tea.

Owing favors was how the adult world worked.

"I think the ruler of this place likes me more than he likes you," Morgana told his host/pupil while surveying his new dwelling place.

"Since he doesn't like me at all, that's not much of an accomplishment," Kurusu replied wearily as she took off her uniform blazer and hung it up in the closet.

"Hm. Well, you have a rather clean room, here, so I'm impressed ... though it does still need some work to make it a proper headquarters for our operations. Of course, I have no intention of taking advantage of your hospitality for nothing. I will work for my keep."

"You're more than welcome to have any mice you catch."

"First of all, ew! Second, also ew! Finally, that's not even remotely what I meant! I will provide you with training in the construction and maintenance of infiltration tools."

"What, like lockpicks and that sort of thing?" she asked.

"Correct! They will be critical for our future operations. How about it? Have we a deal?"

The young woman was regarding him with a somewhat skeptical expression, but what she said was, "All right, it's a deal."

I am thou, thou art I. Thou hast acquired a new vow. It shall become the wings of rebellion that breaketh the chains of thy captivity. With the birth of the Magician Persona, I have obtained the winds of blessing that shall lead to freedom and enlightenment ...

Hm,
thought Morgana. I think she heard that, too. Interesting. Aloud, what he started to say was, "By the way --"

"If you can make lockpicks, why were you locked in a cell when I met you?" Kurusu interrupted.

Morgana coughed. "Well, when within the palace, I lack the resources with which to manufacture them, and when without the palace, I lack ... certain other faculties that would be necessary for --"

"You don't have hands."

"I don't have hands."

"Right."

"Coming up," announced a voice from the staircase, and a moment or so later Sojiro arrived bearing a plate of fish and a confused expression. "Were you talking to that cat?" he asked.

"Yes," replied Kurusu promptly.

"Oooookay," the older man said as he brought the plate over to Morgana, who promptly set too without even bothering to offer thanks. "Takes all kinds. So what is his name, anyway?"

"Bernardo."

"Bernardo?" yowled Morgana, interrupting his feast.

"I don't think he likes that name very much," observed Sojiro.

"Oh well."

Note: Bernardo is Zorro's deaf-mute servant in the original stories, who sometimes only poses as deaf in later adaptations.
 
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This is a test of the alignment tool.

This is only a test.
If it were an actual story segment, you would be reading in-character statements.

And questionably humorous narrative.
This has been a test of the alignment tool. Please look forward to the return of "What We Need Here" in a bit less than 24 of your Earthling hours.
 
April 14, Part 7/April 15, Part 1
PART FOUR

Is this working?
R: Sure seems to be!

A: Yes, it's working.

I've never done this.

R: You never texted with your friends back home?

I could talk to them. Why would I need to text?

Never mind that, now. Where did you get the item you showed us?


R: You mean the gun?

R: Hello?

A: Yes, Ryuji, I think she might have meant the item she was trying to avoid
naming to avoid the possibility of these texts being used as evidence in our eventual trial.

Yes.

R: Oh. Yeah. There's this shop in Shibuya that sells model guns. I'd be glad to take you there
if you want!

Or you could just send me the address.

R: Uh, you really wanna do it alone?

I won't be alone. Morgana says hi.

R: Right, right.

Wrong, wrong, Ryuji thought to himself the next day, gazing fixedly at Kurusu's back while she somehow remained upright while nonetheless dozing through another one of Ushimaru's lectures on how much all of them sucked. He supposed that it would have been inspiring if he was the sort who found faked attention inspirational.

What it really did was make him worry. This girl, who had panicked at the mere sight of a fake gun in the hands of someone as harmless and innocent as Ryuji, was going to be heading to a store full of fake guns, run by someone way more intimidating and nowhere nearly as innocent. (Ryuji, not exactly a babe in the woods, had found that surly manager to be really disconcerting.) And then there were all the other dangerous elements of the neighborhood where the store was to be found. She was going to be going there alone except for the not-a-cat?

And hell, how was she supposed to work that, anyway? She'd have to go back to wherever the two of them were living to pick up the cat, which would lead to all sorts of questions --

Like why was her bag moving on the floor?

No, thought Ryuji as he watched through horrified eyes as the zippered-shut compartment of the bag opened up from the inside. She didn't seriously bring him into class with her.

Morgana poked his head out of the now-open compartment, looking around with interest for a moment before his bright blue eyes caught sight of Ryuji. He opened his mouth to utter some manner of greeting.

She did, oh eff, she did! he thought, shaking his head frantically.

For a wonder, Morgana took the meaning of that gesture and remained silent.

"You!" snapped Ushimaru, voice filled with murderous intent. "Pay attention! Is that how you listen when someone's talking to you?!"

Ryuji snapped to attention. He knew it would make no difference, but maybe, if he could see it coming, he might be able to --

"Kurusu!" the teacher yelled again, and then flung the chalk towards the occupant of the seat in front of Ryuji, who still seemed distracted by whatever private thoughts were occupying her.

And yet nevertheless caught the chalk between two fingers before it struck her.

The stunned whispers of the class seemed to draw Kurusu out of her daze; to Ryuji's eyes, she seemed almost as surprised to see herself holding the chalk in her hand as Ushimaru was aghast at the sight of it. With a shake of her head, she set the chalk down on top of her desk and focused her attention on the teacher.

Okay, maybe she'll be all right after all, thought Ryuji. ... nah.
 
April 15, Part 2
"How do I let you talk me into these things?" asked Ann while peering around a corner.

"Clearly I am way more persuasive than I seem," Ryuji replied as he too peered. "Now shush, she'll hear us!"

"I like that explanation better than the alternative, that I'm way more gullible," she said, pulling her head back behind the corner.

Ryuji had sought her out as the school day ended and persuaded her to come along with him on his self-assigned mission to make sure nothing bad happened to Kurusu on her journey to Untouchable Airsofts. So far, they had seen her pause to listen to some old politician delivering a speech in the square outside the station, then move on to the alley where the store in question was to be found. She was walking up to the store as they spoke.

"Besides, I'm pretty sure that she knows we're here," Ann added.

"No chance!" Ryuji replied -- loudly -- as he too ducked back behind the corner. "We've been stealthy!"

"Doesn't matter," said Ann, shaking her head in grim certitude. "I'm positive she knows."

Ryuji started to frown. "Did you tell her about this?"

"No, she's just scary smart like that. But I'll bet you she knows."

The frown turned upside down in a hurry. "Okayyyyy!" Ryuji said through his somewhat maniacal grin. "I win, you forget all about that money I supposedly owe you. You win -- double it!"

Now Ann was smiling with equal ferocity. "I'll take those stakes!" She promptly looked around the corner again. "Okay, she's gone inside. From what you said, the guy in there is going to scare her away in just a minute, and then we can -- wait, who are those guys?"

Ryuji blinked and resumed his own surveillance, just in time to see a pair of dudes in coats and suits rushing up to the door of the store. "Oh shit, I think those are cops."

"What?" Ann barely avoided shrieking as she watched the "cops" enter the building. "Ryuji, what the hell kind of a store is this?"

"I told you, toy guns! Really effing realistic-looking toy guns ... and knives ... and some lengths of pipe ... and a few whips ... and ... um ..." Ryuji trailed off. "Y'know, maybe this wasn't such a good idea," he added.

"You think?" demanded Ann as she grabbed hold of his shirt with one hand while the other began to form a fist.

"Please don't hit him," Kurusu asked. "If we fall out with each other, it's all over."

The two stalkers snapped their heads in her direction. She had walked up to them without either of them noticing, while holding a paper bag in front of herself -- quite a bit in front of herself, and gingerly, as though she was holding something a bit dangerous.

"Are you okay?" Ann asked.

"I think so," Kurusu replied, pensively.

"What happened?" asked Ryuji.

"Well, I went in and took a look at their stock. Before I could make up my mind, though, the manager checked his watch and asked me to do him a favor by taking charge of this bag, without looking inside of it. Then those police officers showed up and said they wanted to have a word with him. So I left."

"And they let you just walk away?" asked Ann, hands up over her mouth.

Kurusu nodded. "I didn't think they would, and it was a bit scary. But they weren't interested in me. I don't think they even really noticed I had this bag." She pushed it towards Ryuji. "What's inside?"

Ryuji's eyes flickered between her and the bag. "Uh, didn't he ask you not to look inside of it?"

"Yes," she answered, nodding.

They stood a while in silence.

"He didn't ask you not to do that, though," Kurusu added.

"... right then," said Ryuji after a moment, taking the bag. "Boy, I hope this isn't dr-- oh, it's a gun. Wayyyy better than the one I picked up, this practically looks real." He started to reach inside.

"Thank you," said Kurusu, quickly taking it back and pulling the top of the bag closed once more. "I'll have to return this later."

"I bet he'll be grateful," said Mona from inside the backpack. "Maybe we can work out some sort of arrangement, we're going to need to pick up some supplies for when we go in the Palace again."

"Great idea, but there's something more important we need to talk about," said Ann. "Did you know we were following you?"

Kurusu blinked. "Nnno," she said, eyebrows raised.

"Ha!" laughed Ryuji, smirking at Ann.

"Not until I got to the store and heard someone saying 'no chance', at least," she added.

"Ha ha!" 'laughed' Ann, returning the smirk.

"Please don't hit her."
 
April 16
"... but never on a Sunday a Sunday the one day/I need a little rest," she sang to herself while leafing through an imported copy of Rolling Stone. And she really was committed to the notion of giving herself a rest from her real work, to prove to herself -- the only person whose opinion truly mattered -- that she was not pathological about her research, just focused and dedicated. There was a tiny voice in the back of her mind that whispered that someone who deliberately scheduled one day a week to avoid doing something was demonstrating signs of just such a pathology, but she had gotten used to ignoring that unhelpful voice.

Of course, she thought as the bell rang to inform her that the door had opened, taking a break from her real work did not mean that she was allowed to take a break from what she did to pay the bills. The silence that followed the door opening suggested something else. "... is this your first visit?" she asked without looking up from her magazine.

The silence following that greeting, on the other hand, got her to look up ... and blink in a rapid manner that would have put the lie to anyone who referred to her as languid. "Oh," said Takemi. "It's you."

"Yes," said the young woman in a Shujin uniform, carrying a heavy-looking backpack. "F-from Leblanc."

"From Leblanc," repeated the doctor, a smile teasing at her lips. "Hm. I was wondering whether you were going to come here."

Now the teenager was the one blinking rapidly, plainly confused.

"You don't have the slightest idea, do you?" asked Takemi, feeling a rare sensation of pity.

"I don't even know what I'm supposed to have an idea about," admitted the girl.

"... okay, then," said Takemi. "Head into the exam room, and I'll explain."

A few moments later, she was seated in her desk chair, watching the girl set her bag down on the floor beside the stool where she then sat down to face her. A moment or two elapsed as Takemi studied her vistor's face, looking for signs that she knew better than to expect.

Then she moved on. "To make a long story short, ten years ago, when I was a student, I took an elective that your father was teaching. It was fascinating stuff, if a bit outside of my usual interests, and I ended up getting to know the professor -- and your mother, too -- fairly well. I stayed in touch with them, and a few weeks ago, they contacted me to ask if there was some way I could give you shelter during your stay here in Tokyo. That wasn't an option, of course, but I happened to know someone else who had a room that wasn't being used, and who owed me a few favors. And that's how I know you, and how I know all about your situation. Any questions?" she asked.

The girl had already been almost as pale as Takemi herself when she came in. Now she was practically ghostly, and her eyes were tiny little dots. She really hadn't had any idea about any of this, it seemed.

"Well?" Takemi prompted.

"No," the girl peeped. "No questions."

"All right, then," said the doctor. "What brought you here?"

"I don't remember."

Takemi knew perfectly well that she often came off as intimidating. This was largely volitional, since she neither wanted nor needed any close personal contacts with other human beings. But she had been trying to seem friendly during this conversation. That promptly went out the window, and her patient expression went away in a burst of skepticism. "You don't remember?" she repeated.

"No," said the girl, stooping to pick up her bag and then standing up, ramrod straight. "It doesn't matter so much."

Forcing herself back to friendliness wasn't easy, given how profoundly unnatural it was, but Takemi tried all the same. "Look, if you're worried about the possibility that things we talk about will get back to your parents, don't be -- I take doctor-patient confidentiality really seriously, and, besides that, I know --"

"Good day," said the girl, bowing politely, and then briskly walking out through the patient entryway.

"That could have gone better," Takemi muttered.

Then the door swung open and the day got even better as Oyamada stormed in. "I'm sorry, you'll have to take a number like everybody else," she said with feigned patience.

"Enough of this!" he nearly roared. "You're the only one who could possibly be developing that medicine --"

"Nooo idea what you're talking about, dear sir," she replied.

"Don't play the fool! The rumors say that it's a pill that grants unlimited power!"

"... the rumors should really stop reading cultivation novels."

He ignored that. "This is the only warning I'll give you -- dispose of the drug and stop all research, or I'll get the police involved!"

"Okay, I'll get right on with disposing of the drug that doesn't exist. It should be easy enough," Takemi said, shaking her head in disbelief.

"You will not ruin my reputation ag--" he was continuing to rant, then whirled to look back at the door. "Someone's listening in on this, aren't they?" he almost hissed before flinging the door open.

There was no one in the waiting area, of course. It was hard to tell if Oyamada was more frustrated or more embarrassed, but he looked back at Takemi one more time. "No more warnings -- the next time I hear about any sort of medical research coming out of this hovel, I'll have you arrested!" With that, he stormed out of the room.

"Sure you don't want some medicine for that hypertension?" she called after him. It had almost been scary, this time. Oyamada had always been a jealous asshole, but this level of paranoia was nothing she'd ever seen from him before this. What was up with him?

"So I don't get it," Morgana said from the backpack. "She seemed way more friendly than the guy in the weapon shop --"

"Airsoft gun store," Kurusu corrected as she walked briskly in the direction of Leblanc.

Morgana pressed on without acknowledging that interjection. "-- but you were like five times as frightened of her! What gives?"

"I --" She paused, seemed to draw in a deep breath. "I have my reasons, okay? I'll figure something else out for the medicine you say we need."

"... okay, fine," replied Morgana, giving up.
 
April 17, Part 1
"No, not fine," Morgana said a bit less than twenty-four hours later.

He had actually found himself a bit impressed by the first steps of the Plan B that his Wild Card had developed, since they involved waiting until the landlord had gone home for the night and then sneaking out of the building through the upstairs window to scale the wall to the street below. It was a fine demonstration of the Noble Arts of Phantom Thievery. Unfortunately, things had promptly gone wrong as the rest of the plan involved visiting a variety of 24 hour convenience stores and purchasing pain relievers there. Morgana had no idea of the medicinal quality of these products, but what he did know was that none of them had the right aura to be useful inside of a palace. So that was a bust, and only the sight of her scaling the wall and going back in through the window had soothed his temper.

Which had led to the current situation, after the end of Monday classes, in which Kurusu met with Ryuji and the other one to propose Plan C -- "go in without medicine and then be very, very careful". To their credit, the two of them had been almost as dubious about this notion as Morgana. Of course, in his own case, to call him "dubious" was the understatement of the century.

"I mean, isn't being cautious part of being a Phantom Thief?" asked Kurusu.

"There is being cautious, as in being prepared for the worst," Morgana explained, through clenched teeth, "and there is being a different kind of reckless, where you don't prepare for the worst and rely on optimistic projections of how careful you can be once the situation gets going!" With an effort, he calmed down. "Look, Akira -- do you mind if I call you Akira?" he asked.

"I don't see how I can stop you."

"Right, right. Akira, the fact that we always take weapons with us into the Palace is a sign that we need to expect possible conflict. And expecting possible conflict means expecting possible bad outcomes for those conflicts. With your plan, every time we run into danger, we would afterwards face a choice between retreating to the exit or pressing on despite injuries and thus inviting further injuries. Neither of those sounds desirable, right? You wanted to get this done as quickly as possible, right? For Suzui-san's sake, right?"

Morgana could feel Ann glaring at him for that last bit, and felt a bit like a heel watching Kurusu starting to crumple up on herself in response to all of this. But it was important enough that --

"Look, how'bout this?" interjected Ryuji. "I'll go see the doc instead. I mean, I've already got medical history!" With that, he slapped his bum leg and gave a probably mostly exaggerated wince. "Oh, doctor, it's gotten so much worse lately, please give me some pain pills!" he said in an exaggeratedly hapless tone.

Morgana turned to look at him. "That might be a viable solution, Sir --"

"No," said Kurusu, faintly. "I-I'll take care of it. I messed up, so I'll fix it. It may take a while though," she added as an afterthought.

"Okay," said Ann, speaking for the first time today. "So we'll wait here for you --"

"No," Kurusu repeated. "That won't work. I don't know how long this will take, and someone might come up here to check whether someone is hanging around after school. Uh, le-let's meet up outside, ah, that restaurant in Shibuya." She nodded once.

"All right," said Morgana. "Well, then, let's get --"

"You're going with Ann and Ryuji," Kurusu interrupted without glancing at the cat-shaped person. "I can't -- I need -- yeah," she concluded, then promptly turned on her heel and walked away alone, closing the rooftop access door heavily once she passed through it.

"Well, this is not what I was expectiyaaaaah!" Mona started out pensively and then squalled as Ann picked up the bag and brought his face up to her own, both due to the sudden motion and the decidedly unfriendly expression with which he was currently being regarded.

"What happened, cat?" Ann snarled.

"Okay, you are clearly really upset, so I'm not going to remind you that I am not --" Morgana started to say in a soothing and reasonable tone, then coughed before resuming in a much more outraged one. "I told you what happened!"

"You gave us an outline, not the effing details!" she retorted.

"... I just realized that you say 'effing' almost as much as I do," said Ryuji, watching all this in confusion. "Does she ever call you on it?"

"The details, Morgana!" Ann demanded, ignoring all that.

"I don't know what details you want, though!" Morgana protested. "All that happened was that we went in, and it turned out that the doctor, who's kind of sexy but obviously that couldn't be any problem for Kurusu, said some stuff about how she knew Kurusu's family and the next thing I know she's running out of the office and just pausing long enough to listen in on --"

Ann's face drained of color, and the bag slipped out of her hands. Morgana let out another squawk as Ryuji snatched the bag before it landed.

"Y'all right there?" Ryuji asked the not-a-cat.

"My life flashed before my eyes," Morgana said faintly. "I mean, there isn't much of it, but still --"

"I don't believe it. Why the hell didn't I even consider it?" asked Ann of no one in particular, ignoring this byplay.

"What? What?" Ryuji and Morgana asked.

"What kind of parents just let their adolescent daughter get sent to juvie and then put on probation miles away from them?" Ann asked, finally regarding them. "Answer, ones who are either more neglectful than mine, which is hard to imagine, or ones who --" Her eyes darted to Ryuji and then her lips momentarily clamped down.

"Oh," said Ryuji, aghast.

"So naturally, any reference to them is going to upset her! And we sent her back for more of that! WE ARE ALL FUCKING IDIOTS!" she concluded at the top of her lungs.

The roof access door opened noisily. "While there are many worse things than shouting profanity that someone could be doing on the off-limits rooftop after school hours," said a rather tense female voice, "that is still something contrary to school regulations."
 
Darkenning is back and gaming!

Akira, meanwhile, clearly isn't gaming by comparison.
Also, shut up Makoto, this is an emergency.
 
April 17, Part 2
"Aw, effff," groaned Ryuji as Morgana dropped down into the bag he was holding.

Emerging from the rooftop access was the second runner-up to the title of "person they least wanted to encounter". (Kamoshida, naturally, held the crown, with "every other teacher in the whole damn school" tied for second place.) "That technically wasn't profanity," said Niijima Makoto. "So you are only in a place you're not supposed to be at a time that you're not supposed to be. Still detention-worthy offenses. I'm giving you one more chance to clear out."

"We're going, we're going," said Ann, grabbing hold of Ryuji's sleeve and pulling him along with her as she walked briskly towards the doorway. But the satisfied look on the stucon president's face as she observed them obeying her "requests" further aggravated the already exasperated young woman. Without really meaning to, she found herself muttering, as she passed Makoto, "Another jumper would really mess up your record, wouldn't it?"

"What was that?" Makoto snapped.

"Uh --" Ann temporized, unwilling to go as far as blatantly claiming not to have said anything but regretting having let the words fly.

"... tell me, Takamaki-san," Makoto pressed on, turning back to look at the two of them. "Have you ever seen someone fall to their death?"

"Well, uh --"

"Let me elaborate. Have you ever seen someone fall to their death while you were running towards them in hopes of holding them up or talking them out of jumping? Have you ever looked down at what used to be a human being crumpled on the ground below you? Have you ever watched someone crying about how much someone else hurt them, to the point they just couldn't take it anymore?" The senior paused only a moment before continuing. "No? I didn't think you had, but who knows, these days. Well, anyway, when you've seen something like that, you can pass judgement on my motivations. Not until. Now, get out of the school and go the fuck home."

A noise came from the bag.

Makoto glanced at it. "Is there a cat in that thing?" she demanded.

With a glance at Ryuji, who seemed utterly petrified, Ann let out a deep, despairing sigh. "... no," she answered, knowing that she was never going to be allowed to live this down.

"Fine. Get gone."

Without any further discussion, Ann continued to guide Ryuji through the door and down the stairs.

"I don't effing believe it," he said after a moment. "We just heard the stooge-in-chief swearing!"

"Yeah, real world of wonders," Ann muttered. Right at the landing, however, she paused and looked back up at the door they'd just passed through.

"What?" asked Morgana, peeking out of the bag.

"Did she say she heard Mishima talking right before he jumped?" Ann asked, frown settling on her face. "What did he tell her? How much does she know?"

"I don't think we should inquire too closely into the affairs of scary people," suggested the officially-not-a-cat.

"Hell with that," replied Ann, who tromped back up the stairs and reached the doorway, looking through its window for a moment ... before turning back and tromping back down yet again. "Forget it," she said brusquely.

"What happened?" asked Ryuji, bewildered at this literal and figurative about-face.

"I said forget it," Ann repeated herself without looking at either of her comrades.

On the rooftop, seated almost exactly where Kurusu had been seated a few moments earlier, the heartless stooge-in-chief of the student council was seated with her face in her hands, with shoulders shaking violently.
 
April 17, Part 3
This time, when the girl came in the clinic door, Takemi was gazing in bleary boredom at the empty waiting room, and so the arrival came as -- well, not no surprise, but certainly less of one. She watched as the girl came up to the desk, took a few breaths, opened her mouth, closed it again, and repeated the process a few times. It was too fascinating a routine to be interrupted.

When at last the girl made a noise, though, Takemi decided that she'd had enough fun with this. "Yessss?" she asked, tone somewhere on the border of inviting and threatening.

Another deep breath, then words came forth in a torrent. "I came to apologize."

Acting as though this wasn't a surprise was easy, though in truth it was. "Apologize for coming in to ask me something and then running off without asking for it, or for listening in on private conversations?" Takemi asked.

"Yes," said the girl. "Both. Yes," she repeated.

Privately, Takemi gave the girl a few points for having made no attempt to deny what had happened, given that her eavesdropping just been a guess on her own part. She didn't let that show, though. "All right. Step inside and we'll pick up where we left off."

Other than her guest not setting down the bag, which she didn't seem to be carrying, things went pretty much as they had yesterday, though Takemi locked the door to the waiting room before sitting down at her desk. "So let me reiterate my earlier point," she said. "I know that you may have heard that quite a few doctors, when treating young people like yourself, will breach client confidentiality when talking with their patients' parents or guardians. I don't judge them for doing that, but I don't do that myself. Anything you tell me won't get back to your parents, even if they ask. Okay?"

"They won't ask," the girl replied, not meeting Takemi's gaze.

Takemi began to make a reply to the response she had expected; fortunately, her ears and brain caught up with her mouth before she said anything. "Why won't they ask?" she asked after a moment. She was halfway sure that she was going to get sullen silence as a response.

"... when I got out of the center," the girl said, quietly, carefully, eyes fixed on the floor, "there was an envelope waiting for me at the desk. It had a train ticket in it, and the address of the place where I was supposed to go. And a note. Just three little words." A long pause. "'Don't come back.'"

"You're on probation for a year, right?" Takemi asked after what felt like a long time. "Just for the duration of the current school year. Not your senior year."

Each time Takemi finished a statement, the girl nodded.

"I see," she said at last. "Hm. Well. I wasn't expecting to be disillusioned about my mentors, today, but we don't always get what we expect, as I'm sure you're well aware. They're that disgusted by what you did, then?"

"No," said the girl. "They were always like this."

"... oh," said Takemi. "Oh. Okay, then. Well, if they're never going to ask, then I'll never be in a position to tell them anything, so now I'm a little confused about why you'd --"

"I --" the girl interrupted, then broke off, lifting her eyes to meet Takemi's gaze for just a second before snapping them away. "Didn't want to disillusion people when I need their help," she muttered at last.

To this, Takemi found it frankly impossible to make reply. "You were trying ... to protect them?" she asked at last.

The girl didn't move or speak in response.

"I see," Takemi finally said, even though she neither saw nor wanted to see. "So. You need my help. And I'm guessing that it has something to with what you overheard. Let me just clarify that I don't make super-serums here. I do engage in medical research that is a little ... eccentric. But everything I make is for the purpose of healing someone, not to ... make them forget. Do you understand?"

The girl nodded.

"All right. Second point. I am not even remotely qualified to act as a psychiatrist. If you want, I can refer you to --"

Now she shook her head, sharply.

"All right," Takemi repeated, even though she suspected that it was just about as far from all right as she was likely to get. "Third point. I will sell you some medicines that I think you might find helpful, but you have to do something for me. You have to come here, not just to buy this junk, but so that I can talk to you."

That got her to look up, a mildly confused expression replacing the shame and despair that had been there until now. "You want me to help with your research?" the girl asked.

"No," Takemi replied firmly. "I need well-adjusted guinea pigs for that and you, kiddo, are disqualified. I'm going to need to talk to you so that I can confirm for myself that you're not abusing the stuff that I'm selling you. I don't have much in the way of conscience, but I'm not going to help you like that. All right? Do we have a deal?"

"Yes," said the girl named Akira -- and wasn't this a strange time to think that? -- as she flinched for no reason Takemi could see.
 
April 17, Part 4
The problem with hanging out with one's criminal accomplices, it seemed, was less the awkward pauses in conversation as the fact that said awkward pauses tended to be the conversation. Since you never knew who might be listening, you had to keep quiet about the various things you had seen and done. Later, maybe, that might change, as one or both them -- okay, mostly Ryuji -- would get more comfortable with the situation and start talking about secret stuff in public with neither care nor concern. But not right now.

It didn't help matters that both of them had other things on their minds right then. Ann was considering what she had learned and witnessed, its implications and significance, and felt no urge to discuss them with anyone else just yet. While Ryuji was keeping quiet for a much more pragmatic reason -- the last time he'd had a conversation with Ann, he'd wound up doubling the supposed debt that he owed her, and was in no hurry to further redouble it again.

That left Morgana, who was ironically the only one who could speak freely, given that nearly any eavesdropper would take his erudite observations for cat noises. Yet he too kept his peace, mostly hiding within the bag thrown over Ryuji's back but occasionally peeking out to take in the sights.

It was while doing so that Morgana caught sight of his Wild Card, and quietly announced, "There she is," to the other two would-be thieves. Watching them look around wildly before they, too, had eyes on Kurusu was by turns amusing and frustrating; he would have to come up with some way of indicating directions in the future. For now, though, he focused on the team's leader. In a way, the way that she was approaching, with a large paper bag in her hands, was eerily similar to the way that she'd looked coming out of the weapon shop.

"Are you okay?" Ann asked, compounding the similarities.

"I think so," Kurusu answered, for the trifecta.

Ann let out a sigh composed in equal parts of relief and frustration. "Is this how you're always going to answer that?"

"... no, if I don't think so, I'll tell you that," replied Kurusu, looking a bit bewildered at the question as she took the bag with Morgana in it away from Ryuji. "But anyway, I talked the doctor into selling me some medicine." She started to open the paper bag up. "Morgana, could you please check to see if it's --"

"No need," Morgana replied easily. "I can smell it, and we're good to go."

That got a raised eyebrow out of Kurusu. "You can smell it? I thought you had to see it to know --"

"I can see it, I can smell it, if you shake the boxes I'll be able to hear it. I am versatile," the cat-shaped creature declared with humility appropriate to his form. (None, in other words.)

Kurusu seemed dubious, but chose not to address that at this time. "Well, I hope that we won't need to use too much of any of it, because it was all pretty expensive." She gazed at the bag in a vaguely accusatory manner.

"Fret not -- we shall recoup our expenses from those whom we defeat within the palace," Morgana reassured her.

"Yeah, I'm still a little shaky on how that works," interjected Ryuji. "We beat these guys up, and they leave ... actual money behind? That we can bring back with us? How?"

"It just is," replied Morgana, and regally ignored the dubious expressions that this statement of obvious truth provoked.

"Well, okay, but maybe those of us who get paid ridiculous amounts of money for standing around and looking cute could chip in a little --" Ryuji started to say.

"Ryuji," Ann growled the name. "Every sen I get paid for my modeling goes in a security deposit my parents set up that I'm not allowed to even think about touching until I turn 21. Y'know, I bet that you have more money in your wallet right now than I do."

A wicked grim lit up Ryuji's features. "Same stakes?" he almost purred.

"Same stakes."

"... I wonder if they're going to keep doing this until Sir Ryuji owes her as much as this country's GDP," Morgana wondered aloud.

"Goddammit!"

"It seems likely," said Kurusu, nodding slightly. Then she took a deep breath. "Okay. Let's get going."
 

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