Golgotha
The one that reads too much
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Gee, if only they had already talked about how relatively easy and hard the respective mechs were to repair
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I read novels
I really do
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No fanfic can escape a PHO interlude
lost star
Connoisseur.
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I wanted to do a fan reaction but wasn't sure what. This was what came to mind. I wasn't that sure about it TBH.
lost star
Connoisseur.
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I probably won't do this style again. I dislike how it went.
Golgotha
The one that reads too much
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I think it just couldn't find what it was as an interlude?
Was it friends casually chatting? No, because they went to PM'S to get details before sharing.
Was it a professional message board? If so, kimi was very casual with how she spoke.
Was it then a presentation? It felt sort of like a transcript of a news interview. But, even though it said authorised people only, there were people chatting that were not verified.
It was also in real time as a reaction to the events.
It was named after Kimi, so is she a midtier celebrity talk person? It would explain it if she does a variety of topics, hence it being the expert cup thread - but then it being a message board is a strange medium.
Nothing about it was bad, I think it just struggled having a defined x-factor
Few other little things I think made it confusing, like mei mei gave a detailed professional analysis included appearance but then was shocked and surprised at the "flex" of the appearance with her tone changing once the match itself started.
Was it friends casually chatting? No, because they went to PM'S to get details before sharing.
Was it a professional message board? If so, kimi was very casual with how she spoke.
Was it then a presentation? It felt sort of like a transcript of a news interview. But, even though it said authorised people only, there were people chatting that were not verified.
It was also in real time as a reaction to the events.
It was named after Kimi, so is she a midtier celebrity talk person? It would explain it if she does a variety of topics, hence it being the expert cup thread - but then it being a message board is a strange medium.
Nothing about it was bad, I think it just struggled having a defined x-factor
Few other little things I think made it confusing, like mei mei gave a detailed professional analysis included appearance but then was shocked and surprised at the "flex" of the appearance with her tone changing once the match itself started.
Last edited:
lost star
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The MeiMei part was her going off the blueprint. The detailing was pretty extensive for a quick mech. When she saw the entire thing, including paint she realized he went all out there.
Rhis chapter isn't that strong or coherent in retrospect. It happens sometimes.
RandolphWill
Getting sticky.
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Honestly the mech designs are so cool but all mechs are cool.
Golgotha
The one that reads too much
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Oh absolutely. I hope my comments didn't come across as anything but hopefully constructive criticism. Your story is one of my favourites at the moment, I jump on the website each night specifically just to read it. Hell, it made me search out other similar fanfics.
eersc
Making the rounds.
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I liked the content but I feel like this could have been maybe a virtual simulated meeting room or something to show off the tech in this era, maybe its like a ARG where she has a conference sitting at a cafe where the other 2 are holo'd in for example. I'm assuming they're not on the same planet. But somehow making it a message board feels impersonal since it's a more inter group conversation.
M038
New
lost star
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The first fight had given them momentum. Since Vermillion had not serious damage, they actually had enough time to make a surplus of added parts and ready themselves for the next round by waterproofing the mech. This also let Lilly approach the second fight without any damage, while her opponent had visible cuts and gashes in their armor.
It was still a painful fight admittedly. The enemy had been a brawler very ready to meet Vermillion on it's own terms. What was worse was that the conflict had happened in a swamp. The battle had resulted in frankly hellish damage to the arms, the shield had been completely trashed, and they'd had to hose down the mech with high powered water jets that made the entire place smell unpleasantly for hours afterwards even with ventilation. (They also had to replace the ponytail, which was trivial and barely worth mentioning since it was detachable and disposable.)
Once they'd assessed the damage, Bolt's first decision had been to just remove the arms and replace them. He'd done that work himself while the others had addressed the rest of the damage. Refueling and retightening everything had made time tight, but spare parts they'd stocked made the entire repair possible rather than a dream. Bolt had even done a new coat of paint, mostly because at this point he was committed to the bit.
The third fight would probably have been a loss had they fought that match first. According to Lilly, the rifleman was very good and his mech was likewise quite deadly. They had also fought in the desert with a few very obvious traps as the gimmick. Had the opponent been pristine they would have lost. No question about it. Instead the rifleman had had a few obvious wields and enough damage that the missiles were able to cook it enough to kill it's movement ability and let Lilly close in for the kill.
Vermillion had not looked pretty after that fight. The damage had been deceptive though. It was all armor damage. Lilly had been able to spread out the damage enough that nothing had touched the internal parts. Replacing that was just a matter of breaking the seals, dropping the plates and slapping new ones in place. The automated systems in the bay could handle most of that. With the parts prepared, it didn't even take that long. They'd ended up with enough time to replace their part supply, prepare for the next round, redo the paint, and sweep all the damned sand out of the blasted bay.
Round four showed that their approach was paying dividends. The enemy had actual obvious mechanical damage. Compared to Vermillion's pristine and painted appearance, the difference was very stark. Her opponent was still an expert candidate though, and they were a swordman to boot. The design was potent, the pilot was good, and the round gimmicks didn't matter because he got up close and personal and stayed there. The enemy managed to force Lilly to drop her sword, take out part of her leg, and then neatly disabled her missiles before she took off his head with her shield and then bashed him to death with her mech's bare hands in a brutal display of why every part of the mech was a weapon. Even in victory her opponent had the last laugh. Mechs were not designed to fight like that. She'd absolutely ruined her hands by using them like that.
Fortunately they had more time for the finals, and the damage was mostly just confined to the hands and the leg. Bolt had the foot replaced quickly and worked on the hands himself. The missile launchers were dead simple to fix and were done by the automation. Ando's attention to the armor had again paid dividends in that they could just pop off most of it and replace the plates with a minimum of work. Bolt did have to break out a few battlefield tricks to fix the hands in time, but that was mostly just slapping them onto a slab and physically splicing wires after hammering the skeleton into place. There were probably better ways to do it, but that was what he was most familiar with.
The designer had just enough time to give it another fresh coat of paint at the end of it too!
"Normally I would be against the unnecessary time expenditure, but I do like the statement it gives." Ando mused at the end of it.
"Statement?" Bolt asked with confusion. "I just think it's funny." He stared at Vermillion and the red and gold. "Well I suppose it does make a statement. We care about appearances?"
"More that we're so good we can make it look new." Dai said. "By which we, I mean you." He told Bolt.
"Hah! I could not have done it alone, and it's not completely fixed. We've just covered most of the damage with plating and paint." Bolt told everyone. "So, my internal schedule is rather messed up, but I believe we're done?"
"We can leave and ready ourselves for tomorrow." Ando confirmed and paused. "Do you ah, have formal wear?" He asked Bolt carefully.
"Formal wear?" The young designer repeated blankly.
"I'll send Lilly a few pictures." Wu called from the side. "She'll order what she thinks is best. Wear what she tells you, take a bath, shave, and get your hair trimmed."
That was how Bolt showed up the next day in a bright red suit, black tie, and feeling like he was being strangled. At least Lilly looked good. The girl had managed to get a slinky dress that both fit her and made her look fantastic. This was more impressive than it sounded, because her proportions were, well tiny.
Apparently, and it was something he'd completely missed, day two was the finals and the exhibition match only. These both took very little time, so the organizers had arranged an interview before that to pad out the schedule. It was more accurate to call it pre-fight banter though. Bolt and Lilly had been informed that it was almost customary to interact with the opposing team in some entertaining way. Both teams had been arranged in seats in the same room to facilitate this. Bolt and Lilly were in front on one side, and two people Bolt didn't recognize were opposite them. Their team had six people, Bolt observed.
It was a bit boring for the most part. Bolt knew the basic concept for interviews, but having one done was different. He mostly felt hot due to the lights and the damned suit. The questions were absolutely banal and he barely paid attention to most of them.
"Next question is for Lilly!" The reporter directing everything was a woman so artificially pretty it came across as disturbing in person. "Rumor has it you are engaged to your mech designer. Are you?"
"Yep!" Lilly replied with a nod and kicked her legs casually.
After a beat of silence the reporter gave a small laugh. "Could you elaborate on it? Why a designer? It's considered an unusual choice." She prodded.
"Why not?" The pilot asked back with a clueless, slightly vapid, and cutesy expression on her face. "There a rule against it? He's big and hunky."
It was always a bit disturbing to see the girl using that mask, Bolt mused. He didn't show it on his face as the reporter turned to him. "You are certainly entitled to that decision! Bolt, the next question is for you in light of that. Explain Dowry if you could?" A design appeared in a hologram in front of them and on a screen in the background.
"Dowry?" Bolt repeated as he stared at the design. "That's supposed to be a private gift for Lilly." He observed blankly.
"You put it up public by accident." Someone from behind him hissed in a low whisper.
Bolt winced and flushed. "Ah, I must have listed it for sale in the game accidentally. Lilly was gonna test it and I'd build it later. It's going to be a wedding present."
"Which I love very much!" Lilly chirped with a warm grin and a nod. "Not very good for the game, but in real life I'd say it's perfect! If someone else buys it and tries it, that's fine, but the real one's mine." The woman finished with a few cute nods.
"Analysis has been that it's far more suited for battlefield conditions." The reporter noted. "Opinions have certainly been mixed as to other things about it thought. The appearance for instance. I believe one of our other guests have some opinions on it?"
The lead designer there gave a nod. Bolt took a moment to actually observe him. Stiff, formal, and a recent college graduate. He was composed. He'd done interviews before.
"Dowery is an ugly, expensive, and utterly primitive mech using the ASMAS for a repair gimmick. You practically doubled the price for a marginal increase in operational time and the repair process is utterly repulsive." The man said definitively.
Bolt stared at his opposing designer. "All right?" Was he supposed to be mad about that? He didn't get it. That sounded like actually legitimate criticism. "It fits what I wanted for her. I do agree 'bout the cost. Nanomachines are expensive, and it is kinda gross how she heals, but it works."
His words seemed to make the designer angry. "Is this another form of mockery?!" He shot back with heat.
Now Bolt was very confused. "If I wanted ta mock you I'd be more blunt about it." He told the designer and turned to the reporter. "I'm sorry, am I missin something?"
"There's been some comments about your design style and decisions in this tournament." The reporter chirped as she brought up the pictures of Vermillion. "It could be considered a taunt."
"Ahhh. That was mostly because we had a bit o' time at the end, and it was entertaining. Ain't trying to be offensive." Bolt said with a small smile at his design that turned into a frown. "Actually, could you bring back Ghoul, or excuse me Dowery?" He winced a bit at the name.
"Of course!" The woman immediately did with a look of anticipation.
"So, expensive is probably tha biggest problem here and that can be explained." Bolt explained and gestured to the mech's midsection. "This was exclusively for Lilly. Sorta a pre-expert mech. Those are usually pretty expensive to my understanding. Am I wrong?"
"Not completely." The other designer said slowly and like the admission was painful.
"It's dependent. Usually they're in a top of the line mech for the organization they're in, with customization after." The opposing pilot gave his experienced input with a calm and bemused expression on his face.
Bolt grinned. "Ok, so the cost isn't the problem then! If I were to make it for mass output I'd have ta get some more specialized nanomachines really. Ta be honest the ones in Dowery are more generalist type and are probably a bit too expensive for what we used it for." He explained. "Now the claws and teeth are just for style."
"You think that lack of range and savage behavior is appropriate for an expert mech?" The other designer pounced on the statement.
"Not like the more common skirmisher knives are that much better for reach." Bolt spread his hands out and wiggled the fingers for emphasis. "We optimized Ghoul for ripping off armor with these. Her hands are really optimized fer that. A lot of her design is because she actually started very primitively. Ghoul was the first mech I built and I had ta cut so many corners because I was working off scrap."
Lilly leaned against him. "I still loved her. Was the first real mech I piloted!" She said with a very genuine warmth. "It was like he gave me wings and let me fly for the first time in my life."
"Ohhh. So star crossed lovers then bound together by a mech built in desperate times. Dowery is you revising it for love! That has to have a story about it." The reporter chimed in with a very eager look on her face that turned speculative as she leaned forward and continued. "But that begs the question. What will you do when she becomes an expert?"
The opposing designer grimaced at that statement and seemed actually reluctant to bring the next point up. "Neither of us have the skills to make an expert mech, and won't have them for several decades at best. At best you'll be able to do the base design. You'll need assistance." He explained for them and the audience. "That would mean a senior or master, and they have very limited time."
Bolt closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes, I did look into that. I do have a new design that would fit her better too, but well... I will need ta find someone to help when she becomes one. That'll be hard." That was actually a bit painful to admit but he did.
"I'm certain that you could find someone from our lovely nation if you wanted." The reporter said.
To her side the designer already sour expression went worse. "I can say for certain that my master would be willing to help."
"Something to consider." Bolt responded to the obviously political invitation as neutrally as he could.
"Do try!" The reporter said brightly before continuing. "Now, as much as I'd like to continue our conversation, we will need to get prepared for the actual match! Pilots, to the changing booths! Lilly, you did bring other shoes right? Those heels are gorgeous but I don't think they'll work in the cockpit."
That got a small startled laugh from the girl.
It was still a painful fight admittedly. The enemy had been a brawler very ready to meet Vermillion on it's own terms. What was worse was that the conflict had happened in a swamp. The battle had resulted in frankly hellish damage to the arms, the shield had been completely trashed, and they'd had to hose down the mech with high powered water jets that made the entire place smell unpleasantly for hours afterwards even with ventilation. (They also had to replace the ponytail, which was trivial and barely worth mentioning since it was detachable and disposable.)
Once they'd assessed the damage, Bolt's first decision had been to just remove the arms and replace them. He'd done that work himself while the others had addressed the rest of the damage. Refueling and retightening everything had made time tight, but spare parts they'd stocked made the entire repair possible rather than a dream. Bolt had even done a new coat of paint, mostly because at this point he was committed to the bit.
The third fight would probably have been a loss had they fought that match first. According to Lilly, the rifleman was very good and his mech was likewise quite deadly. They had also fought in the desert with a few very obvious traps as the gimmick. Had the opponent been pristine they would have lost. No question about it. Instead the rifleman had had a few obvious wields and enough damage that the missiles were able to cook it enough to kill it's movement ability and let Lilly close in for the kill.
Vermillion had not looked pretty after that fight. The damage had been deceptive though. It was all armor damage. Lilly had been able to spread out the damage enough that nothing had touched the internal parts. Replacing that was just a matter of breaking the seals, dropping the plates and slapping new ones in place. The automated systems in the bay could handle most of that. With the parts prepared, it didn't even take that long. They'd ended up with enough time to replace their part supply, prepare for the next round, redo the paint, and sweep all the damned sand out of the blasted bay.
Round four showed that their approach was paying dividends. The enemy had actual obvious mechanical damage. Compared to Vermillion's pristine and painted appearance, the difference was very stark. Her opponent was still an expert candidate though, and they were a swordman to boot. The design was potent, the pilot was good, and the round gimmicks didn't matter because he got up close and personal and stayed there. The enemy managed to force Lilly to drop her sword, take out part of her leg, and then neatly disabled her missiles before she took off his head with her shield and then bashed him to death with her mech's bare hands in a brutal display of why every part of the mech was a weapon. Even in victory her opponent had the last laugh. Mechs were not designed to fight like that. She'd absolutely ruined her hands by using them like that.
Fortunately they had more time for the finals, and the damage was mostly just confined to the hands and the leg. Bolt had the foot replaced quickly and worked on the hands himself. The missile launchers were dead simple to fix and were done by the automation. Ando's attention to the armor had again paid dividends in that they could just pop off most of it and replace the plates with a minimum of work. Bolt did have to break out a few battlefield tricks to fix the hands in time, but that was mostly just slapping them onto a slab and physically splicing wires after hammering the skeleton into place. There were probably better ways to do it, but that was what he was most familiar with.
The designer had just enough time to give it another fresh coat of paint at the end of it too!
"Normally I would be against the unnecessary time expenditure, but I do like the statement it gives." Ando mused at the end of it.
"Statement?" Bolt asked with confusion. "I just think it's funny." He stared at Vermillion and the red and gold. "Well I suppose it does make a statement. We care about appearances?"
"More that we're so good we can make it look new." Dai said. "By which we, I mean you." He told Bolt.
"Hah! I could not have done it alone, and it's not completely fixed. We've just covered most of the damage with plating and paint." Bolt told everyone. "So, my internal schedule is rather messed up, but I believe we're done?"
"We can leave and ready ourselves for tomorrow." Ando confirmed and paused. "Do you ah, have formal wear?" He asked Bolt carefully.
"Formal wear?" The young designer repeated blankly.
"I'll send Lilly a few pictures." Wu called from the side. "She'll order what she thinks is best. Wear what she tells you, take a bath, shave, and get your hair trimmed."
That was how Bolt showed up the next day in a bright red suit, black tie, and feeling like he was being strangled. At least Lilly looked good. The girl had managed to get a slinky dress that both fit her and made her look fantastic. This was more impressive than it sounded, because her proportions were, well tiny.
Apparently, and it was something he'd completely missed, day two was the finals and the exhibition match only. These both took very little time, so the organizers had arranged an interview before that to pad out the schedule. It was more accurate to call it pre-fight banter though. Bolt and Lilly had been informed that it was almost customary to interact with the opposing team in some entertaining way. Both teams had been arranged in seats in the same room to facilitate this. Bolt and Lilly were in front on one side, and two people Bolt didn't recognize were opposite them. Their team had six people, Bolt observed.
It was a bit boring for the most part. Bolt knew the basic concept for interviews, but having one done was different. He mostly felt hot due to the lights and the damned suit. The questions were absolutely banal and he barely paid attention to most of them.
"Next question is for Lilly!" The reporter directing everything was a woman so artificially pretty it came across as disturbing in person. "Rumor has it you are engaged to your mech designer. Are you?"
"Yep!" Lilly replied with a nod and kicked her legs casually.
After a beat of silence the reporter gave a small laugh. "Could you elaborate on it? Why a designer? It's considered an unusual choice." She prodded.
"Why not?" The pilot asked back with a clueless, slightly vapid, and cutesy expression on her face. "There a rule against it? He's big and hunky."
It was always a bit disturbing to see the girl using that mask, Bolt mused. He didn't show it on his face as the reporter turned to him. "You are certainly entitled to that decision! Bolt, the next question is for you in light of that. Explain Dowry if you could?" A design appeared in a hologram in front of them and on a screen in the background.
"Dowry?" Bolt repeated as he stared at the design. "That's supposed to be a private gift for Lilly." He observed blankly.
"You put it up public by accident." Someone from behind him hissed in a low whisper.
Bolt winced and flushed. "Ah, I must have listed it for sale in the game accidentally. Lilly was gonna test it and I'd build it later. It's going to be a wedding present."
"Which I love very much!" Lilly chirped with a warm grin and a nod. "Not very good for the game, but in real life I'd say it's perfect! If someone else buys it and tries it, that's fine, but the real one's mine." The woman finished with a few cute nods.
"Analysis has been that it's far more suited for battlefield conditions." The reporter noted. "Opinions have certainly been mixed as to other things about it thought. The appearance for instance. I believe one of our other guests have some opinions on it?"
The lead designer there gave a nod. Bolt took a moment to actually observe him. Stiff, formal, and a recent college graduate. He was composed. He'd done interviews before.
"Dowery is an ugly, expensive, and utterly primitive mech using the ASMAS for a repair gimmick. You practically doubled the price for a marginal increase in operational time and the repair process is utterly repulsive." The man said definitively.
Bolt stared at his opposing designer. "All right?" Was he supposed to be mad about that? He didn't get it. That sounded like actually legitimate criticism. "It fits what I wanted for her. I do agree 'bout the cost. Nanomachines are expensive, and it is kinda gross how she heals, but it works."
His words seemed to make the designer angry. "Is this another form of mockery?!" He shot back with heat.
Now Bolt was very confused. "If I wanted ta mock you I'd be more blunt about it." He told the designer and turned to the reporter. "I'm sorry, am I missin something?"
"There's been some comments about your design style and decisions in this tournament." The reporter chirped as she brought up the pictures of Vermillion. "It could be considered a taunt."
"Ahhh. That was mostly because we had a bit o' time at the end, and it was entertaining. Ain't trying to be offensive." Bolt said with a small smile at his design that turned into a frown. "Actually, could you bring back Ghoul, or excuse me Dowery?" He winced a bit at the name.
"Of course!" The woman immediately did with a look of anticipation.
"So, expensive is probably tha biggest problem here and that can be explained." Bolt explained and gestured to the mech's midsection. "This was exclusively for Lilly. Sorta a pre-expert mech. Those are usually pretty expensive to my understanding. Am I wrong?"
"Not completely." The other designer said slowly and like the admission was painful.
"It's dependent. Usually they're in a top of the line mech for the organization they're in, with customization after." The opposing pilot gave his experienced input with a calm and bemused expression on his face.
Bolt grinned. "Ok, so the cost isn't the problem then! If I were to make it for mass output I'd have ta get some more specialized nanomachines really. Ta be honest the ones in Dowery are more generalist type and are probably a bit too expensive for what we used it for." He explained. "Now the claws and teeth are just for style."
"You think that lack of range and savage behavior is appropriate for an expert mech?" The other designer pounced on the statement.
"Not like the more common skirmisher knives are that much better for reach." Bolt spread his hands out and wiggled the fingers for emphasis. "We optimized Ghoul for ripping off armor with these. Her hands are really optimized fer that. A lot of her design is because she actually started very primitively. Ghoul was the first mech I built and I had ta cut so many corners because I was working off scrap."
Lilly leaned against him. "I still loved her. Was the first real mech I piloted!" She said with a very genuine warmth. "It was like he gave me wings and let me fly for the first time in my life."
"Ohhh. So star crossed lovers then bound together by a mech built in desperate times. Dowery is you revising it for love! That has to have a story about it." The reporter chimed in with a very eager look on her face that turned speculative as she leaned forward and continued. "But that begs the question. What will you do when she becomes an expert?"
The opposing designer grimaced at that statement and seemed actually reluctant to bring the next point up. "Neither of us have the skills to make an expert mech, and won't have them for several decades at best. At best you'll be able to do the base design. You'll need assistance." He explained for them and the audience. "That would mean a senior or master, and they have very limited time."
Bolt closed his eyes and nodded. "Yes, I did look into that. I do have a new design that would fit her better too, but well... I will need ta find someone to help when she becomes one. That'll be hard." That was actually a bit painful to admit but he did.
"I'm certain that you could find someone from our lovely nation if you wanted." The reporter said.
To her side the designer already sour expression went worse. "I can say for certain that my master would be willing to help."
"Something to consider." Bolt responded to the obviously political invitation as neutrally as he could.
"Do try!" The reporter said brightly before continuing. "Now, as much as I'd like to continue our conversation, we will need to get prepared for the actual match! Pilots, to the changing booths! Lilly, you did bring other shoes right? Those heels are gorgeous but I don't think they'll work in the cockpit."
That got a small startled laugh from the girl.
Pyro Hawk
Unsure if Phoenix or Kitsune
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In the moment, probably salt yeah. But after inspecting the (public) blueprints for the mech? I think it's going to flip (for the sensible ones at least) over to merely being grumpy and respect to Bolt's team. Because they'll probably be able to spot some of the 'hidden flaws' that a First Draft mech design is mentioned as having and also see the compromises that were made to allow the feats that let them win.
Which basically means that the first battle with the Lancer is going to be put on Bolt creating a mech that fits Lilly very well and then Lilly carrying that battle. But the battles after that are put on Bolt and his team making the gamble that they wouldn't face anyone in the first Battle that was outright superior or advantaged against their design in a way Lilly couldn't counter, and then gaining advantages from the carefully chosen design compromises now kicking into their favour. Something that would cause them to basically go 'okay, I need to put some more effort into learning how to either make more durable versions of the critical components in a way that minimises the lost performance, work out a way to easily repair them or pick up a few tricks about how to get damaged components functional quickly'.
It's... Dealing with Bolt's designs is very much a learning experience. You are going to be able to see flaws and compromises made that you wouldn't made, but also see what the advantages those allowed and it's going to be different from what you've had to deal with before. So take on board the different perspective he offers and use what it shows to either improve or find a new trick that isn't one of the typical ones for your 'methodology lineage'.
lurkingkraken
Versed in the lewd.
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I love how his team have learned to just lean in the rules for dealing with oblivious masters in order to better manage him. I hope that we don't leave them completely behind when the 6 months are up.
Is swapping between the spellings deliberate to show accents or?
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lost star
Connoisseur.
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I keep accidentally adding the e to it. Getting mildly annoying when I see it happen.
Also, you don't need to worry about the guys reappearing. They will, though it might be a bit. They aren't going to just flat up disappear.