Will of The Force (Star Wars / Worm)

[Akahana]

Your character development of Dinah is one of the best I've seen in a while.

Adorable, but still badass. 10/10.

 

[Toguro]

Anakin should kill Noelle, just so it can teach The Travellers what it is to loose everything after committing terrible actions for an impossible goal , just like he did.
Plus they are a bunch of child's takers, fuck them

Click to shrink...

Can he even kill her? I mean if I recall her Regen is just a bit below Crawler's ...

 

[Yohnos]

Can he even kill her? I mean if I recall her Regen is just a bit below Crawler's ...

Click to shrink...

She probably need to breathe (and you can't regenerate anything if it's been cauterized...)

 

[cjs001]

Hm, already becoming more like a Mini Anakin, our Dinah is. What would be her Sith title be? Darth Probably?

 

[Anon E Mouse]

What would be her Sith title be? Darth Probably?

Click to shrink...

Darth Mendacium. Dark Lady of Statistics

 

[CapCaverna]

So, this chapter was supposed to come out yesterday, unfortunately, my house was without light for half a day and I couldn't use the computer. (had a storm)

I still had my phone, but that only has so much charge and I can't exactly write on it for long. I was also having some problems with the chapter, but I think it turned out well.
Next chapter was supposed to come tomorrow, but I'll probably finish it in two days.
.
Also, I have FINALLY bought a new computer! It's been months since I'be been used a crappy notebook borrowed from my older brother.

It was a tiny thing, I couldn't open a youtube page to listen to music and write at the same time else it started having problems and was, somehow, still better than my old one. (I think my brother paid, like 100 dolars on it.)

On the one hand, The new PC should allow me to write more, use better programs and improve everything.

On the other hand, it's a new PC, I can now play games with it... (Well, in 5 days when it arrives)

Do you guys know how long it's been since I last played anything new that wasn't a mobile game? I think I sold my Xbox 7 years ago and, even then, my PC was old and couldn't play anything.
.
Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy the chapter!
_______________________________________________________________

Tattletale grinned as she watched Grue sit at the table with the big boys. Her eyes slid towards the boss and she squinted, relaxing the grip she had on her power for a few seconds.

Slight movement of hand, small shake of leg: wants to fidget, uncomfortable.​

Change in timbre of voice, nearly imperceptible, affected confidence: Acting. Not real Coil, doppelganger.​

Coil not present, Coil sent a doppelganger: Uncertain about the result of the meeting. Unwilling to attend. Expects violence, danger.​

That gave her pause. She had been expecting this to be a safe meeting, one held on neutral ground. Was Lung crazy enough to target them all at the same time?

Turning away, she cut off her power, the smirk disappearing from her face. Giving Skitter a nervous glance, she leaned back into the chair, moving it slightly towards the back exit, preparing to grab the girl and run.

She was a Thinker. Helping out a single one of her companions was all she could do and, really, Grue, Regent and Bitch could take care of themselves.

For a second, she caught Regent giving her a look, a single eyebrow raised in question.

Noticed her worry: Sensed her muscles tensing.​

Meeting his eyes, she just looked towards the exit she was aiming for and the cape gave her a lazy smile, a finger tapping against the table.

"… There's one more," she heard Trickster say, refocusing on the main table. "Another newcomer in the city."

She thought about releasing her power again, trying to find anything else from the main table, but she still had limits. Her use of her power was getting easier with every day, but it still gave her terrible headaches if she pushed it too much.

When the aforementioned cape arrived and it was like a wave of dread washed over the entire room, even the Merchants adjusted themselves into their seats. This new cape didn't walk into the room, he marched, a little girl at his side.

"Who the fuck are you?" Skidmark asked, trying to get into the man's face and being completely ignored.

Somehow, Tattletale was able to sense the man's eyes passing over her even through the mirrored lenses of the mask. She shivered. She had heard of the new Master Cape in the city, but she had imagined him to look more like Regent, not… this.

Stiff movements, robotic, decisive steps: military training, used to moving differently, still adjusting to current limbs.​

Disinterest towards capes. Disregard, Disappointment: Doesn't consider anyone a threat, doesn't respect anyone in the room.​

Large, well defined muscles, tall frame, precise control: Brute/Master power? No, training, better than Grue.​

"Be quiet. Don't make me waste my time."

His voice wasn't loud but it effectively boomed, filling the entire room with more authority than any of the previous capes, even Kaiser didn't have his presence. At her side, Skitter fully focused on the Cape.

Polaris sat at the main table, leaving the kid by Faultline's crew. Subconsciously, nobody dared even question his presence anymore, then Grue gathered himself and frowned, daring to ask about the new cape.

In her seat, Tattletale suddenly lost the tight grip she kept on her power, it almost seemed to come alive, desperately grasping for more information about the new cape.

Lack of body movement, body almost doesn't have tells, limbs don't move, anomalous breathing: unused to having limbs, unused to breathing.​

Disinterested in the conversation, doesn't care about the city, unhappy with the status quo: ABB's actions personally offend him, doesn't like the chaos.​

Lie, doesn't know about the rules, can guess, doesn't care: believes he doesn't have to care. Doesn't fear retaliation.​

Doesn't fear the capes here, believes he can survive against all of them, believes he'd win a fight: Considering starting one.​

Snatching her control back, Tattletale put a hand on her head and turned away from the table. Fuck, was he insane? Did Coil know about this?

Damnit, what did she know about him? PRT had him pegged as a Master/Tinker with magnetic specialty. A grab bag then, with his Tinker power the strongest one. The fact he managed to destroy an entire street and kill 11 people before the police even got there meant he was a heavy hitter.

Still, Tinkers were supposed to need time, not just show up and be unafraid of a room filled with capes, capes with years of experience.

"So, that's your type, huh?" Regent said. "No wonder you're so close to Skitter."

"What?" Tattletale said, looking away from the cape.

"Hey, I'm not judging, he's fitter than Grue. Although I think he's a little old for you, no?"

She was gonna hit him, if he wasn't too far away she'd have done it too. Closing her eyes, Tattletale gathered herself, trying to refocus her power. "Shut up, I'm trying to keep us alive here."

"What?" Skitter asked, her eyes narrowing at her.

"The new cape, he's not exactly all there," she said. "Now, can you be quiet and let me concentrate?"

Turning back towards the discussion, she released her power once again, trying to direct it towards anything useful. It seemed to almost jump at the opportunity.

Not looking at the parts involved, reacted to what the kid did without looking: Doesn't need to see, has improved senses or a Thinker power, confirmed grab bag.​

Not wearing power armor, single cylindrical device too small to be have too many functionalities, mask doesn't hold any tinkertech, didn't have enough time to build anything complicated: Not a Tinker? No, Tinker power is not the main one, considering the damage he's capable of, likely Shaker.​

Name choice: Polaris, not chosen by him, doesn't care, wrong: Shaker power not related to magnetism, Telekinesis?​

Shit, that complicated things. It meant he didn't need any equipment to cause the same level of damage he did on 6th Street, and they were all happily sitting here inside his likely range. Was he even Manton limited or could he just… squeeze them all into paste right now?

Grabbing Skitter's cup, she took a large swig and wiped her forehead. For some reason, her power wasn't giving her a headache yet, but the tension was making her equally tired, her body constantly ready to make a run for it.

Doesn't care about cape name, doesn't care about the truce: unlikely to care about the unwritten rules.​

Not interested in what's being discussed, Interested in how it's being discussed, dislikes the status quo: Considering starting a fight, considering if he should kill them all.​

Doesn't value their lives, wouldn't be affected if he killed them all, considers himself evil, thinks killing everyone would be easy, fully desensitized to it: Has killed dozens before, so many the numbers lose meaning.​

Too experienced, too confident: Not a new cape, has fought parahumans before, far stronger than everyone present.​

Fuck, fuck, fuck, what the hell? This was supposed to be an easy meeting! There wasn't supposed to be a Slaughterhouse candidate here, damn it!

Tattletale almost made a run for it, her body starting to get up from the chair before Regent made her leg twitch causing her to slip back into the chair, banging her arm against the table.

Giving him a glare, she saw his smirking face and small shake of the head.

Taking a second to calm down, Tattletale swallowed again, her leg starting to tap against the floor until she grabbed her knee and made it stop.

"Who controls the resulting territory?" Polaris asked. "When the ABB are gone, who will be left in control of the resulting unaligned Asian population?"

Tattletale whipped her head towards him, a hand grabbing Skitter's wrist and preparing to run. This was it, Polaris was deciding if he should start things or not.

Crap, had he just been buying time? Did his Shaker power require time to saturate an area before he could act?

For a few seconds, everything grew quiet, every cape present somehow knowing how important the answer was. Finally, it was Kaiser that broke the awkward silence.

"I take it you have a suggestion?"

For a second, Tattletale thought he'd do it, she didn't need her power to see the thought going through his head.

"This alliance is unnecessary; I will deal with the ABB myself. From tomorrow on, its territory will be beyond your grasp."

Word choice, 'your': Assumes they will be alive, decided not to kill them all.​

Utter confidence, exasperation: Doesn't see Lung as a threat, frustrated with own decision, may change opinion.​

Tattletale almost collapsed, most of the tension leaving her body as she released a breath she had been holding. Holy shit, they'd just dodged a bullet. Not fully, but she doubted Polaris would change his decision that fast.

Yeah, she had no intention of being anywhere near him when that happened. It wasn't impossible that the guy was simply insane and would get killed before doing any damage, but it was VERY unlikely.

Somehow, she lost what was said for a few seconds, regaining her wits when Polaris started walking towards his companion. For a moment, she caught him looking at her.

Focused on you, noticed your attention, reading you, knows you're afraid: can sense emotions, doesn't care you're afraid, thinks you should be.​

Flinching, Tattletale avoided his eyes. Great, the mass murderer liked to sense her fear, just great! At least she'd have nothing to do with him after this. Worse, her power finally started giving her problems.

Really, she kinda liked her team —for all the trouble they caused her— but, if Coil didn't have a gun to her head, she'd be fleeing the city so fast Velocity wouldn't be able to catch up with her.

"What are the chances you'll remain safe on your own today?" Polaris asked the girl.

"Twelve point seven, seven, nine, two percent chance. Why?" the kid answered, triggering Tattletale's power again.

Answer too clear, complete confidence, exact numbers: Thinker power, Precog, extremely powerful.​

Girl Kidnapped on April 14th, Bank Robbery executed on April 14th, bank Robbery didn't make sense, Precog powers interfere with each other: Distraction, true goal always the girl, Coil unlikely to give up.​

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!

.
.
.

An hour later, huddled against the wall in her house, Tattletale stared at her phone, letting it ring for a full minute. Finally, her hand flashed forward, she snatched the phone and answered.

"Tattletale, I have a…"

"No."

.
.
.

Lisa woke up with a groan, her head still hurting and her heart beating hard on her chest. In desperation, her eyes flew everywhere and she only relaxed when she was sure she was still in her room.

Right, she wasn't dead… or kidnapped, right?…

Stretching, she took a few minutes to calm herself down, her furiously beating heart slowing with every breath. Finally, she looked at her phone on the floor.

She had thrown it at the wall after hanging up on Coil's face… turns out she wasn't strong enough to smash it entirely, not through the protective casing, only causing a small crack in the screen.

Huh, she only cared a little about that.

Walking out of the room, she massaged her temples and glared at Alec already playing his damn game. "Can you turn the volume down?"

"Nope."

"Little shit."

Shaking her head, she grabbed herself a cup of coffee and went back to her room, slamming the door and sitting on the bed, her knees to her chest, the cracked phone back in her hand.


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♦ Topic: Holy crap, WTF just happened?
In: Boards ► News ► Events ►America
SnowyBattleCat (Original Poster) (Cape Geek)
Posted on April 24th, 2011:
Holy crap, I mean, just… HOLY CRAP!

Last night, I was just hiding in my room, hoping the heroes would finally deal with this entire madness in the Bay and then I heard a roar, a very large roar.

Still, for the last few days, the Bay has been hit by our very own version of the Mad Bomber, now with exotic powers, so strange noises weren't exactly unexpected, but I couldn't help looking through the window… carefully.

I have to say, for a second there, I thought we were getting attacked by a fourth Endbringer.

You guys think I'm joking? Well, look at this! Wouldn't you think a forty foot tall dragon setting fire to half the city was an Endbringer?

I always asked myself why the Protectorate never dealt with Lung, I know he kicked their face in when he first arrived, but I thought it was because he caught them by surprise… Guess now I know better.

Still, I watched the giant dragon spew a wave of fire down in the city, heard it roar, lightning crack (and what's up with THAT, by the way?), and then nothing, nada, he just disappeared in the flames and never popped up again.

Can someone please tell me what happened? I'm desperate here. How the hell did they deal with the rampaging Rage Dragon without losing the city? Who the heck fought Lung until he got to that size? Did they win? Cuz I can't imagine the Dragon being able to deescalate that fast or escape without anyone seeing him.


EDIT: Right, I'm supposed to contribute something if I'm starting a thread, so here's the best I can do:

• April 11th: Armsmaster defeats Lung, (HOW!!!!?).

• April 12th ~ 15th?: Bakuda starts putting bombs inside people's heads. – Not sure about this one, people seem to think it was a desperate attempt to get her boss out, not something she had been planning with Lung but, well…

• April 15th: Explosion at Brockton Bay, supervillain Bakuda starts terrorizing the city. Oni Lee releases Lung. The bombs don't stop.

• April 22/23th: People have been saying there was a meeting between the Supervillains in the Bay, seems the ABB was making enough trouble to bother even them.

• April 24th: Lung turns into an actual freaking dragon, with multiple motherfucking wings… and arms. The guy was larger than a building, burns down part of the docks and just… disappears;

Help me out here people, anybody knows what exactly went down?

EDIT: Again, holy crap, it seems like Uber and Leet actually filmed the whole thing! Link here.


(Showing page 10 of 10)

► Karez
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
Let me get this straight. Someone actually killed Lung, like, right there in front of the Protectorate?

And they didn't arrest him? I mean, good riddance to the damn asshole, but this Polaris (we're not really calling him that are we?) did provoke the rage dragon, cause millions in damage, the deaths of who knows how many civilians caught in the crossfire, and then executed a parahumans in cold blood.

I thought the Protectorate was made to stop that kind of shit.

► ThatDude
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
And how do you propose they do that? The dude just killed a giant dragon, they're gonna have to call the triumvirate to deal with that level of power.

► Dr.Faustus (The Guy in the Know)
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
@ Karez. Well, they didn't arrest Lung, did they? What makes you think they're gonna risk facing the one who killed him?

Plus, they only had two capes there. From what I heard, they were throwing everything but the Wards at Bakuda when that fight went down, the rest of the capes standing by to block Lung and Oni Lee from coming to her rescue.

At least it seems like Armsmaster managed to arrest the bitch.

► XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
Shit, how did I miss this!

Also, did you guys really think Polaris worked alone? I bet they hired him to deal with Lung and that's why they aren't arresting him.

► Mugger
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
Two things:
1) The PRT classified Polaris as a Master/Tinker, a weak Master, sure, but still a human Master, they'd never work with him..
2) Doesn't fit with what we know of the Brockton Bay's PRT, they're always trying to keep the status quo over there. My bet is that they just wanted Bakuda out of the way so the Rage Dragon and the Nazis could go back to keeping each other in check, Lung dying was never their goal. Heck, I'd say Lung getting arrested was not the goal, at least not permanently.

► WanderingSamurai
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
Guys! Uber and Leet just updated their page, they actually filmed the fight start to finish with the snitch. LINK

Also, RIP snitch.

► Gy
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
… Alright, I completely understand why they wouldn't try to arrest the dude.

Like the OP said, WTF! That's such bullshit!

I just looked at the guy's page and, apparently, the PRT had him pegged as a Master 1, Tinker 4, yeah, nope.

Really, did anyone even hear of a magnetic Tinker like him before? Cuz, if not, I'm calling bullshit on that too, no way he could build such diverse equipment before debuting. My bet is that he's some kind of Shaker.

That shit is Triumvirate level, man.

► Bagrat (Veteran Member) (The Guy in the Know)
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
@ Gy: So, looking at the video, that sword of his was definitely tinkertech and Tinkers are bullshit, it is entirely possible to build something capable of everything else he showed, but I think you're right, he was far too versatile. Could be he was just rich enough to buy the gear before going out as a cape.

EDIT; Alright, I had a friend look at the situation in the Bay and, yeah, from what I heard, there really was a villain meeting. The villains wanted an alliance against the ABB because the bombings were drawing too much attention to the place and nobody wanted one of the Triumvirate making a visit.

Apparently, the guy walked in there, called them all incompetent to their faces, said he'd deal with Lung and claimed the ABB territory for himself.

I bet some people laughed at his face but, well, if I was them I'd be running from the city right now.

In summary, Lung's dead, Oni Lee's dead, Bakuda is with the PRT… the ABB is pretty much done but nobody knows what's gonna happen now, will anyone dare fight Polaris for the territory?

Also, I heard he had actually been fighting crime before killing Lung, using his master power to force goons into turning themselves in and disabling Bakuda's bombs while avoiding the PRT and Protectorate.

So, yeah, good luck with that.

As for the PRT and their capes, my guess was that they planned on taking Bakuda out of the equation before the villains had to get their hands dirty, not only because it would look bad for them if the villains were the ones to deal with it, but also because villains fighting each other is never a good thing for normal civilians.

Boston Games, anyone?

► Urze_Overseer
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
So, is he a Villain or an Independent? He did kill Lung and Oni Lee but, fuck, they both deserved to get kill orders anyway.

Did he take over the ABB or was he just trying to keep the gang violence from hurting the Asian community? I mean, without Lung, I really doubt the damn Nazis, Merchants and Coil are gonna care about what happens to the people just living in the territory while they fight for it.

► White Fairy (Veteran Member)
Replied on April 24th, 2011:
I'm gonna have to stop myself from saying more than I want but, are you guys insane? The guy is a murderer, he said so right in Miss Militia's face!

Also, didn't you guys read his page, he kidnapped a little girl, do I need to tell you the kind of things a human master can do to a little girl? Polaris isn't an independent hero, he isn't misunderstood and isn't trying to do the right thing.

No, he's just another criminal. You'll see, I bet he'll take over the ABB and this will just be a case of, The King is Dead, long live the King!

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 … 8, 9, 10


Almost unable to help herself, she clicked the damn link, starting to watch the entire video. It seems like Coil had actually hired the duo to film everything because they were already filming things when Polaris arrived.

With distant, almost uncaring eyes, she watched as a monster fought with Lung, clearly doing its best to anger the dragon as much as it could before being destroyed right as Polaris arrived.

Then she watched the fight, her chest strangely empty. Yep, she had definitely made the right choice.

Plasma blade, heat contained by an energy field, inconsistent damage: Blade not optimized, at least 18 thousand degrees, extremely hard to use.​

Reaction speed beyond human, strength beyond human, reacts before attacks happen, no hesitation to use lethal attacks, wounded when hit by Lung's tail: Experienced fighter, extensive training, combat Thinker power. Not a Brute/Mover, using power to affect own body. Not Manton limited.​

Not moving as much as physique indicates, no signs of tension or fear, varying speeds of attack and reaction: Never felt any danger, not trying his best, taking it easy.​

Power affects the entire street, power affects places he's unable to see, extreme fine control: can sense the entire street, can affect anything he senses, unknown upper limit, unknown lower limit.​

Great, at least she felt better not having to fight… that. Because she was pretty certain she knew who had made sure Lung was ramped up before their fight.

"Lisa! What the hell?" Brian burst into her room, his face filled with anger.

"What?"

"I thought we were over this, you don't make decisions for the team. I just got a message from our employer, he's cutting our money because of this."

"WHAT?" Alec said.

Lisa actually shrugged —she was beyond caring at this point— sending him the link to Polaris fight. "I thought it was better than being dead, sorry."

"Explain. Now."

She looked at her two companions, briefly wondering where Bitch was.

Lung's battle caused a lot of noise. Bakuda's bombs were extremely loud: Dogs likely to be scared.​

Well, that answered that question. "You remember the bank job? Well, I found out why he wanted us to pull it. He wanted to get his hands on the kid Polaris was dragging around. Yesterday's call was about helping him retake her."

Alec just snorted. "Right, because you care so much about a kid."

"I care about not facing Polaris," Lisa said. "He couldn't give a shit about the unwritten rules."

"Nobody gives a shit about the unwritten rules," Alec said. "We still fight against them."

"I care about the unwritten rules," Brian growled, leaning against a wall and crossing his arms. "We need them to function."

"Correction, weaklings care about the unwritten rules," Alec said. "The gangs care about not being caught breaking the unwritten rules… too badly at least."

"Well, I'm pretty sure Polaris is strong, and insane enough to not care about them at all," Lisa stretched her legs, finishing her coffee and putting the mug to the side. "Watch the video I just sent you."

Pulling out their phones, both boys started watching Leet's video without a word. Nearly twenty minutes later, Alec spoke. "Alright, I guess we can take a pay cut."

.
.
.
.

♦ Topic: The Travelers VS Faultline's crew
In: Boards ► Places ► America ►Brockton Bay ► Teams
► Cesar66 (Original Poster) (Cape Geek)
Replied on April 25th, 2011:
Alright, people seem endlessly interested in what went down between Lung and Polaris but, really, yesterday was madness in the bay.

So, everyone knows about Lung VS Polaris, they also learned about Armsmaster VS Bakuda after the PRT announced her capture, but not many people are talking about the fight between The Travelers and Faultline that went down on the same day.

Yes people, we had not one, not two, but three major battles in the same day, shit was crazy.

For those who aren't aware, Faultline is a local mercenary that's… well, I guess she's a Rogue? The PRT probably doesn't think so since her team kinda beat Chevalier and Myrddin not too long ago.

Anyways, her team has two Monster capes and is a real powerhouse, with a motherfucking Shaker 12. Unfortunately, Labyrinth isn't exactly all there in the head, so she's never as scary as that number indicates, but that's still a huge number.

And in the opposite corner, The Travelers, another heavy hitter team.

From what I know, they're pretty true to their name, never settling down for long and were already scary strong before the fight, now, they're a nightmare. Apparently, one of their hidden members can clone capes and they got Circus to help out, throwing a dozen suicide clones at them.

Someone managed to snap a few pictures of the battlefield while it was going down here, here, here and here.

It seems like the battle turned around three blocks of the city into a maddening location, with buildings growing out of each other and cars flying around like bullets. Shit was crazy man.


(Showing page 9 of 9)

► AllSeeingEye (The Guy in the Know)
Replied on April 28st, 2011:
Yeah, no, if the Travelers were that strong they'd be getting an A rank threat at the least.

Yes, the PRT was able to bag the clones as if they were fully real, but they disappeared from the morgue in a day or two so their cloner seems more or less like Spree.

From what I understand, unlike Spree, he can clone other capes and they last much longer, but the limit seems to be lower. Also, reports say the clones are deformed and the powers are slightly wrong.

Circus is a grab bag independent villain in the Bay, his powers aren't exactly impressive to begin with, I really doubt they could clone someone too powerful.

► SnowyBattleCat (Cape Geek)
Replied on April 28st, 2011:
I agree, such powers usually have a lot of restrictions… if they were that powerful they'd have carved a little corner for themselves before now.

If I had to guess, the number and duration of the clones is proportional to the power of the original, so cloning anyone too powerful either wouldn't work or would create a single minion for a very short time.

► Aku-42
Replied on April 28st, 2011:
@ SnowyBattleCat Omg. That's not how powers work, are you stupid?

► WagTheDog
Replied on April 28st, 2011:
Wow, I did not know Faultline's crew was that strong. How the hell did nobody interfere in their fight, it couldn't have happened so fast nobody managed to get there in time.

► Cesar66 (Original Poster) (Cape Geek)
Replied on April 28th, 2011:
@ WagTheDog you understand the Protectorate was busy with Bakuda AND Lung right, after a week of dealing with bombings, they didn't have enough to cover three major events at roughly the same time.

Also, I bet there were PRT and police close by, but they weren't about to get between the Capes without Protectorate support. You just don't engage a Shaker 12 after she has had time to use her power in an area.

► Lupu5
Replied on April 28st, 2011:
Bullshit, with how corrupt they are, I bet the PRT was brought by the same guy who hired the Travelers.

Come on guys, both teams are mercenaries, this was never about themselves, they were hired to fight each other.

► AllSeeingEye (The Guy in the Know)
Replied on April 28st, 2011:
@ Lupu5 Are you really sure you want to be taking things XxVoid_CowboyxX said as true?

I don't want to seem mean here but, are you REALLY sure? That xVoid_CowboyxX?

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5… 7, 8, 9.



♦ Topic: Susanoo
In: Boards ► Places ► America ►Brockton Bay Discussion (Public Board)
Josh (Original Poster) (Cape Geek)
Posted on April 28th, 2011:
The new mysterious Overlord of the Bay, let's talk about him.

PRT initially classified him as a Master: 1 / Tinker 4, but we all agree that's bullshit. What remains to be seen is whether he's a more powerful Tinker or a grab bag rich enough to buy his equipment.

EDIT: Alright, I had a friend go over the video again, you guys can find it here and, yes, the guy showed far too much for a simple Tinker.

So, doing a deeper search, he's definitely a Master, several goons have been turning themselves to the police, and he used his power against Miss Militia before, but that seems really weak compared to everything else he's shown.

Obviously, he has some control over the environment, the PRT seemed to think he did it through magnetism, but my friend said it was closer to telekinesis, he has too much control over it to be anything else.

What may not have been obvious is that he seems to have a combat Thinker power too. Several times, he seems to react to things before they happen or move too perfectly to counter Lung or Oni Lee, he also moves faster than a normal human, so you may want to put Brute/Mover there too.

Really, he seems like an entire team of heroes, it's such bullshit.


Edit: Apparently, nobody but the PRT liked Polaris… even if the guy himself doesn't seem to care one way or the other.

Anyways, after proving that he's serious about protecting the Asian population from the gangs by crushing Squealer's newest creation and launching the killdozer into the bay, (Nobody died this time, Squealer wasn't inside) the people started calling him Susanoo.

Usually, PHO tends to frown on mythical cape names, but slaying a dragon with a plasma sword, controlling the wind to extinguish its fire and calling on lightning seems to be enough to earn him the Storm Deity's name.


(Showing page 27 of 27)

► Lost Entry
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
Look, I'm not saying he's a hero… but he did force the worst of the ABB to turn themselves in or else...

I think he's gonna act more like Marquis and, after years of being stuck between slavers, drug addicts and literal Nazis, I say that's a good change.

► LunarFox (Kyushu Survivor)
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
You guys do know Susanoo doesn't actually control the ABB, right? It's more like, he suffers their existence… to a point.

Really, I knew someone who was there when he walked into the place, told everyone the things he wouldn't tolerate and ordered them to deal with the worst offenders. He didn't ask for anything in return, didn't give any orders, but his posture said everything.

He basically said: This is what's gonna happen, make it so because, if I have to do it, nobody is gonna be happy.

After what he did at that brothel, NOBODY wants to test him, so the ABB is being really careful with what they do.

► THE Bovine!
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
I wouldn't want to test him either.

► Winged_One
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
@ LunarFox "I know someone…" Riiiiight, let's pretend we all believe that.

You sure it wasn't you?

► BeerConnoisseur
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
Disregarding the ABB chill, how exactly is that gang still a thing and, if Susanoo is taking over, did he find that damn 'farm' of theirs?

► Bacon_Salad (Veteran Poster)
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
@BeerConnoisseur First, there isn't a 'farm'. There never was a 'farm'. Mostly because they never needed one, even if some stupid guys liked to think there was.

The ABB, like most other gangs, forces girls into becoming prostitutes, but they never needed a place to train them, they just put them to work on streets or brothels and had a pimp watch over them.

Really, there's some people who'd even argue the girls weren't slaves, they got to keep some of the money and go home after all. But, since they couldn't exactly walk away from the 'job'…

As for how it's still alive? Well, I think that's because Lung had been in power for so long the Gang just got used to 1-man enforced ground rules. It's not like there aren't other, non-parahuman gangs in the city and, with Susanoo keeping everyone else away, they don't need to worry about Capes fighting them.

Lung was never really that involved in the gang's day to day anyway, it's more or less business as usual.

If you don't cross the new Overlord, that is.

Hopefully, they remember that not all Asians are the same soon and break down into smaller gangs.


► Procto the Unfortunate Tinker (Not a Tinker)
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
Is Susanoo acting as a regulator then? Keeping the violence to a minimum and protecting the little guy?

Cuz that's pretty good in my books, not every Asian was a member of the ABB, despite what Bakuda seemed to think.

► AllSeeingEye (The Guy in the Know)
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
Can we all go back to how you guys are trying to defend a known Master and kidnapper?

Come on guys, he's a murderer who kidnapped a little girl and is probably mastering her right now. Also, he probably killed 11 people when he took her, that thing on 6th Street was him.

► XxVoid_CowboyxX
Replied on April 30th, 2011:
Right, I know you guys already think I'm crazy, but did anyone really look at his powers?

Look, I'm just saying, the guy is a Master, there's no discussion there, but he's also an extremely powerful Telekinetic Shaker, an extremely powerful Tinker and also a combat Precog, able to fight as if he knows what everyone else is gonna do…

Anyone else drawing some uncomfortable parallels with the Simurgh?

End of Page. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 … 25, 26, 27.


Pulling her eyes away from the computer, Lisa sighed and massaged the bags under her eyes. Damn, she knew she was supposed to be directing public opinion towards hating him, but she really, REALLY didn't want to.

She was pretty sure he didn't really mind, but she was equally sure he'd know it was her in a second if he cared to look.

Then she read Void Cowboy's last message again and sighed. Yeah, she could draw the same parallels, even more worrying when she knew he wasn't used to walking or even breathing, that his body didn't fit his fighting style and how many people he had killed.

Enough to not care anymore… or maybe he never did.

The worst was the way he affected her power. Yes, she could read him, but never as well as anyone else and her power was strangely fascinated by him, becoming much harder to hold back whenever she watched his videos.

The entire idea would be terrifying if it wasn't so ridiculous… and it was ridiculous, stupid.

Lowering her computer screen, she shook her head, stupid.

Unfortunately, Susanoo hadn't immediately hunted down and killed Coil like she had been hoping, but at least Coil hadn't killed her, or stuck her in a dark room to use her as a magic eight ball.

Instead, he had made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Grabbing the medication at the side of her bed, she stuffed two of the pills into her mouth and swallowed, her head nearly exploding.

Coil had been burning a lot of his influence to cover his steps. People suspected the Travelers had been hired by someone, but nobody really knew who and, for some reason, Faultline hadn't said anything about it.

Lisa was pretty sure Susanoo simply didn't care to make things clear or point any fingers.

The Travelers themselves were on everyone's shit list for breaking the truce, but they also were keeping their heads down and, with the level of power they proved themselves capable of, nobody was eager to attack them.

If they were trying to grab territory, that would be another thing, but as things stood, people would still attack them if they popped up, but nobody would go searching for them.

Grabbing the coffee pot, she growled when she saw it was empty. With a sigh, she scratched her eyes, lifted the computer and went back to work, searching for new information on Susanoo, running disinformation and, all in all, acting like that bastard's little slave Thinker.

Fucking Coil.



__________________________$$$_____________________________

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Thanks for Splaterred Cloak, Lunati and Eric Faust for helping out with the chapter!

Thanks for my patrons : Iori Daemona Angel, AlliterativeArts (Eric Faust) Comics, WanderingDaemon, GrumpyJustGrumpy, Travis cox, camarada fugu, Rootbeerguy, High Priest of Torga, Michael Neal, Felrook, NotableRonin, AjiTae, khepri, Louis Kasser, JVR, Joseph, Vegetables, Nisiris, Flashycow, Ryuda, Commander Miggs, Kaleb, Awais, Ty Tuttle, LordChoto, Allison Jolley, Phillip Webster, Glitched Knights, Robolo42, Zistrum, IrishxButter, Journeyman_Mike, Jason Langford, W01F, janember, AlthePal, Elia , Matthew D, rome33, Caleb S, Jesper Samso Birch, Austin, Pedro Belonia, Danny York and Joe Foreman for supporting my work!

 

[Xedornox]

Ah insight into what others are thinking about it all, this is good to see.

Thank's for the chapter.

 

[Akahana]

I can't wait to see how an entity interacts with the force. And as we see in this chapter, with someone as powerful as regenerated-Vader at play, the plot is building up to something big and I'm all for it.

Tftc

 

[UponAPaleHorse0]

Man I'm waiting for the Empire to have a confrontation with him, having him surrounded by all of their capes and being all we have you surrounded by the superior race.
Anikan just scoffs and pulls "WHAT I AM SURROUNDED BY IS FEAR, AND DEAD MEN."

 

[Raphiel]

Can we all go back to how you guys are trying to defend a known Master and kidnapper?

Come on guys, he's a murderer who kidnapped a little girl and is probably mastering her right now. Also, he probably killed 11 people when he took her, that thing on 6th Street was him.

Click to shrink...

Fuckin' Tattletale. She's just asking to be eviscerated. No matter her reasons for pulling Taylor in, no matter what she supposedly saw in Taylor, it only reminds me that even if you were suicidal like Reggie, she would use you. Remember that Worm is told from an unreliable narrator, Taylor is undoubtedly biased towards Lisa, even tho she acts like Emma towards other people because Lisa can make her look past that.
Honestly, I like Lisa when she interacts with friends, but people often forget to write in fanfics that she is an ultra bitch to other people. I suppose its cynicism mixed with temptation of knowing plus the tiny bit of conflict drive.
Also, at least the protectorate heroes know it was coil's merc that got killed and that Anakin said he was protecting Dinah.

 

[noobarta]

Voidcowboy making saying something logical?! It's the end of the world!

 

[apg666]

Now I'm imagining between Anakin apparently being experienced with 'parahuman' combatants, along with the possible mentions of his adult children with their own military careers/as rebels, that people think he's some former African/Middle Eastern Warlord who was overthrown by his kids though that may be influenced by too much of the "Tatooine Slave Culture" tag of AO3

 

[Anor]

Fuckin' Tattletale. She's just asking to be eviscerated.

Click to shrink...

Let me remind you that she does not do this of her own free will.

Damn, she knew she was supposed to be directing public opinion towards hating him, but she really, REALLY didn't want to.

Click to shrink...

Unfortunately, Susanoo hadn't immediately hunted down and killed Coil like she had been hoping, but at least Coil hadn't killed her, or stuck her in a dark room to use her as a magic eight ball.

Instead, he had made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Click to shrink...

if Coil didn't have a gun to her head, she'd be fleeing the city so fast Velocity wouldn't be able to catch up with her.

Click to shrink...

Just because she's not chained up in Thomas' basement doesn't mean she's free. So it's "Fuckin' Coil", not "Fuckin' Tattletale"

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Honestly loving the reactions to the chaos Anakins caused. Cant wait to see what fight he gets into next. Hope its Squealer.

 

[Ramuthra]

"Well, I'm pretty sure Polaris is strong, and insane enough to not care about them at all," Lisa stretched her legs, finishing her coffee and putting the mug to the side. "Watch the video I just sent you."

Pulling out their phones, both boys started watching Leet's video without a word. Nearly twenty minutes later, Alec spoke. "Alright, I guess we can take a pay cut."

Click to shrink...

Wait.

Holy crap.

Did Tattletale . . . just make a good decision?!

 

[The_Bajar]

Wait.

Holy crap.

Did Tattletale . . . just make a good decision?!

Click to shrink...

That and the Void thing are both signs of the Apocalyps

 

[mpbjunkie]

I love reaction chapters.

 

[Prince awsome]

This story is good, and i mean really good.
but why is this so much better than the supergirl one ?
there should be no reason why the supergirl story was that bad
maybe it's just me ….

anyways keep up the good work author

and are we going to get a chapter of the empire and the protectorate shitting their pants

 

[Apoca]

PRT had him pegged as a Master/Tinker

Click to shrink...

It looks like someone finally obtained the title of Master.

 

[S!ËGFR!ÊD]

Really want to see the PRT give Anakin a medal for his work and watch the heroes seethe and cope.

 

[CapCaverna]

EDIT: hey, do you guys think I should move this to the NSFW section? I didn't want to put it there because I don't think Smut really fits this fic and the Gore isn't enough to earn a NSFW tag.

Still, the NSFW section is just so much bigger, do you guys think I should change it?

This story is good, and i mean really good.
but why is this so much better than the supergirl one ?
there should be no reason why the supergirl story was that bad
maybe it's just me ….

anyways keep up the good work author

and are we going to get a chapter of the empire and the protectorate shitting their pants

Click to shrink...

Damn, that hurts, I REALLY like my supergirl thing.

Still, yeah, I'm aware this one is better.

If you want my honest opinion, it's a mixture of things.


One: I started this nearly seven months after picking Supergirl back up so my writing has improved a LOT.


Two: It's the start of the fic. In this, I started with Anakin being a badass and that's the tone of the fic.

With Supergirl, I REALLY love the first chapter and can't bring myself to change it, but the tone is kinda wrong there.

I started with her in a very bad situation, getting what many consider a handicap and a nerf. (Had absolutely no affect on any of her fights, but people see it as a nerf and DON'T like it)

Later, Her first fight is against an enemy that's a VERY heavy hitter and she doesn't just stomp him. Again, I really like that fight, but it's not as satisfying as if I wrote her against a weaker enemy, one she could demolish.

Writers talk about starting the story by setting the tone, the promise of how the story is gonna go and, unfortunately, my Supergirl started with a different tone than the rest of the fic.


Three: I think it's the previous knowledge of my readers, when writing fanfic, you can skip a lot of the necessary building in a story.

I don't have to earn much of what my characters do, like, a really badass moment doesn't need to be earned because the original writers already did that for me.

With Star Wars, everyone thinks Vader is a badass and I write him doing badass things.

With Supergirl... Well, I'm using YJ Earth and the feats of Superman and other Kryptonians there are FAR bellow what they're capable in comics or even other shows.

So, people think Supergirl should be much stronger than she currently is, even if they don't do it consciously.

In short, people perceive me writing Supergirl much weaker than she SHOULD be.

Four: I didn't write too many satisfying moments for Kara. Will of the Force is just more satisfying than Supergirl because it's really great to read about Vader being unbeatable.

Here, it's really satisfying to see Vader destroy his enemies, in Supergirl, Kara is facing enemies that are closer to her level and, in a lot of her fights, she wasn't able to defeat them in an extremely satisfying way.

Well, I wouldn't really change the results of the fights I did put on the fic, but putting a few chapters in between where she faced weaker enemies or was better prepared.

Yeah, a couple of chapters where Kara could be an absolute badass, winning the fights decisively and without setbacks would feel really satisfying to my readers and improve the story.



Well, there are other things that affect the story, but I think those are the most glaring differences, they affect the entire fic such that, even when Kara wins a battle and is absolutely ruthless doing so, some readers think she's holding back, hesitating, should have done it better.

Kara doesn't immediately kills Felix Faust? She's hesitating, being weak.

Kara gets hit once or twice by Wrath? She's loosing a fight again, getting beaten up again, even when it was just that the demon had a huge advantage on her and managed to get a few hits in, she'd still win that fight even without Superman interfering.

Anyways, sorry for the long msg... And damn, I don't think Supergirl is THAT bad man, come on, people like it.

 

[Ramuthra]

And damn, I don't think Supergirl is THAT bad man, come on, people like it.

Click to shrink...

I'll go read it right now, just for you.

 

[Asmodyne]

Damn, that hurts, I REALLY like my supergirl thing.

Still, yeah, I'm aware this one is better.

If you want my honest opinion, it's a mixture of things.


One: I started this nearly seven months after picking Supergirl back up so my writing has improved a LOT.


Two: It's the start of the fic. In this, I started with Anakin being a badass and that's the tone of the fic.

With Supergirl, I REALLY love the first chapter and can't bring myself to change it, but the tone is kinda wrong there.

I started with her in a very bad situation, getting what many consider a handicap and a nerf. (Had absolutely no affect on any of her fights, but people see it as a nerf and DON'T like it)

Later, Her first fight is against an enemy that's a VERY heavy hitter and she doesn't just stomp him. Again, I really like that fight, but it's not as satisfying as if I wrote her against a weaker enemy, one she could demolish.

Writers talk about starting the story by setting the tone, the promise of how the story is gonna go and, unfortunately, my Supergirl started with a different tone than the rest of the fic.


Three: I think it's the previous knowledge of my readers, when writing fanfic, you can skip a lot of the necessary building in a story.

I don't have to earn much of what my characters do, like, a really badass moment doesn't need to be earned because the original writers already did that for me.

With Star Wars, everyone thinks Vader is a badass and I write him doing badass things.

With Supergirl... Well, I'm using YJ Earth and the feats of Superman and other Kryptonians there are FAR bellow what they're capable in comics or even other shows.

So, people think Supergirl should be much stronger than she currently is, even if they don't do it consciously.

In short, people perceive me writing Supergirl much weaker than she SHOULD be.

Four: I didn't write too many satisfying moments for Kara. Will of the Force is just more satisfying than Supergirl because it's really great to read about Vader being unbeatable.

Here, it's really satisfying to see Vader destroy his enemies, in Supergirl, Kara is facing enemies that are closer to her level and, in a lot of her fights, she wasn't able to defeat them in an extremely satisfying way.

Well, I wouldn't really change the results of the fights I did put on the fic, but putting a few chapters in between where she faced weaker enemies or was better prepared.

Yeah, a couple of chapters where Kara could be an absolute badass, winning the fights decisively and without setbacks would feel really satisfying to my readers and improve the story.



Well, there are other things that affect the story, but I think those are the most glaring differences, they affect the entire fic such that, even when Kara wins a battle and is absolutely ruthless doing so, some readers think she's holding back, hesitating, should have done it better.

Kara doesn't immediately kills Felix Faust? She's hesitating, being weak.

Kara gets hit once or twice by Wrath? She's loosing a fight again, getting beaten up again, even when it was just that the demon had a huge advantage on her and managed to get a few hits in, she'd still win that fight even without Superman interfering.

Anyways, sorry for the long msg... And damn, I don't think Supergirl is THAT bad man, come on, people like it.

Click to shrink...

Honestly I didn't even realize that Supergirl was you til this since I ended up following it on another platform. That said, I think there are a few aspects of Supergirl I really enjoy - the science and business focus, really leaning into Kara's origins, the relationship with Kori, the more pragmatic approach to heroism. There's this whole "yeah, I can shoot laser beams from my eyes but have you seen what I built in my LAB" thing that is quite refreshing.

It's a bit of a bummer that she often gets caught up in fights outside her core competencies, but it's also a bit more realistic, so no complaints on that front. Hope you keep writing both!

 

[JohnSmithMIB]

Vader board-swept pretty quickly which is nice and satisfying. He also DGAF about anyone outside of Dinah. I think how you write the coil, endbringer, or cauldron confrontations will be the biggest challenges.

With Kara I don't think you could have her do that with the enemies she's trying to defeat. She knows the setting and is mostly teching up so she's able to win against stuff she can't defeat with just fists. I like her pragmatic/evil genius style mindset and her suit railgun in that Salem fight was pretty epic. But I agree there's an issue with

Spoiler: Plot spoiler

Lobo

IMO he screws up the plotting/power creep and he seems very one-note. He makes sense but after the first time seeing him I'd have been fine with not seeing him until you'd added a million words to the story. So soon after the story start felt like a reminder Kara wasn't OP that wasn't really needed because she was still

Spoiler: Plot spoiler

Crippled

Some other super strong enemy that had different motivations could have been more interesting to read.

edit: Some people might find that first villain fun which is completely fine, he just doesn't interest me.

 

[Prince awsome]

Damn, that hurts, I REALLY like my supergirl thing.

Still, yeah, I'm aware this one is better.

If you want my honest opinion, it's a mixture of things.


One: I started this nearly seven months after picking Supergirl back up so my writing has improved a LOT.


Two: It's the start of the fic. In this, I started with Anakin being a badass and that's the tone of the fic.

With Supergirl, I REALLY love the first chapter and can't bring myself to change it, but the tone is kinda wrong there.

I started with her in a very bad situation, getting what many consider a handicap and a nerf. (Had absolutely no affect on any of her fights, but people see it as a nerf and DON'T like it)

Later, Her first fight is against an enemy that's a VERY heavy hitter and she doesn't just stomp him. Again, I really like that fight, but it's not as satisfying as if I wrote her against a weaker enemy, one she could demolish.

Writers talk about starting the story by setting the tone, the promise of how the story is gonna go and, unfortunately, my Supergirl started with a different tone than the rest of the fic.


Three: I think it's the previous knowledge of my readers, when writing fanfic, you can skip a lot of the necessary building in a story.

I don't have to earn much of what my characters do, like, a really badass moment doesn't need to be earned because the original writers already did that for me.

With Star Wars, everyone thinks Vader is a badass and I write him doing badass things.

With Supergirl... Well, I'm using YJ Earth and the feats of Superman and other Kryptonians there are FAR bellow what they're capable in comics or even other shows.

So, people think Supergirl should be much stronger than she currently is, even if they don't do it consciously.

In short, people perceive me writing Supergirl much weaker than she SHOULD be.

Four: I didn't write too many satisfying moments for Kara. Will of the Force is just more satisfying than Supergirl because it's really great to read about Vader being unbeatable.

Here, it's really satisfying to see Vader destroy his enemies, in Supergirl, Kara is facing enemies that are closer to her level and, in a lot of her fights, she wasn't able to defeat them in an extremely satisfying way.

Well, I wouldn't really change the results of the fights I did put on the fic, but putting a few chapters in between where she faced weaker enemies or was better prepared.

Yeah, a couple of chapters where Kara could be an absolute badass, winning the fights decisively and without setbacks would feel really satisfying to my readers and improve the story.



Well, there are other things that affect the story, but I think those are the most glaring differences, they affect the entire fic such that, even when Kara wins a battle and is absolutely ruthless doing so, some readers think she's holding back, hesitating, should have done it better.

Kara doesn't immediately kills Felix Faust? She's hesitating, being weak.

Kara gets hit once or twice by Wrath? She's loosing a fight again, getting beaten up again, even when it was just that the demon had a huge advantage on her and managed to get a few hits in, she'd still win that fight even without Superman interfering.

Anyways, sorry for the long msg... And damn, I don't think Supergirl is THAT bad man, come on, people like it.

Click to shrink...

Its not bad perse but it doesn't fill me with joy when i see the update notification

Maybe it's because she never does any cool shit.

And it's not about power, because superboy is weak asf and people don't have a problem with him.

I've read about 40 chapters of the supergirl one, and looking back right now, she has very little impact on the overall story
All she does is talk to non important characters( catwomen)
and fights people that are not part of the main plot (super geek from shazam)

and she barely interacts with the main cast.

its like she was put in the story and had an entire new plot woven around her so she has stuff to do.

recap : she has low highs as a character, and really low lows
she got violated by nerdy aliens, didn't get revenge

 

[Jerryacks]

EDIT: hey, do you guys think I should move this to the NSFW section? I didn't want to put it there because I don't think Smut really fits this fic and the Gore isn't enough to earn a NSFW tag.

Still, the NSFW section is just so much bigger, do you guys think I should change it?







Damn, that hurts, I REALLY like my supergirl thing.

Still, yeah, I'm aware this one is better.

If you want my honest opinion, it's a mixture of things.


One: I started this nearly seven months after picking Supergirl back up so my writing has improved a LOT.


Two: It's the start of the fic. In this, I started with Anakin being a badass and that's the tone of the fic.

With Supergirl, I REALLY love the first chapter and can't bring myself to change it, but the tone is kinda wrong there.

I started with her in a very bad situation, getting what many consider a handicap and a nerf. (Had absolutely no affect on any of her fights, but people see it as a nerf and DON'T like it)

Later, Her first fight is against an enemy that's a VERY heavy hitter and she doesn't just stomp him. Again, I really like that fight, but it's not as satisfying as if I wrote her against a weaker enemy, one she could demolish.

Writers talk about starting the story by setting the tone, the promise of how the story is gonna go and, unfortunately, my Supergirl started with a different tone than the rest of the fic.


Three: I think it's the previous knowledge of my readers, when writing fanfic, you can skip a lot of the necessary building in a story.

I don't have to earn much of what my characters do, like, a really badass moment doesn't need to be earned because the original writers already did that for me.

With Star Wars, everyone thinks Vader is a badass and I write him doing badass things.

With Supergirl... Well, I'm using YJ Earth and the feats of Superman and other Kryptonians there are FAR bellow what they're capable in comics or even other shows.

So, people think Supergirl should be much stronger than she currently is, even if they don't do it consciously.

In short, people perceive me writing Supergirl much weaker than she SHOULD be.

Four: I didn't write too many satisfying moments for Kara. Will of the Force is just more satisfying than Supergirl because it's really great to read about Vader being unbeatable.

Here, it's really satisfying to see Vader destroy his enemies, in Supergirl, Kara is facing enemies that are closer to her level and, in a lot of her fights, she wasn't able to defeat them in an extremely satisfying way.

Well, I wouldn't really change the results of the fights I did put on the fic, but putting a few chapters in between where she faced weaker enemies or was better prepared.

Yeah, a couple of chapters where Kara could be an absolute badass, winning the fights decisively and without setbacks would feel really satisfying to my readers and improve the story.



Well, there are other things that affect the story, but I think those are the most glaring differences, they affect the entire fic such that, even when Kara wins a battle and is absolutely ruthless doing so, some readers think she's holding back, hesitating, should have done it better.

Kara doesn't immediately kills Felix Faust? She's hesitating, being weak.

Kara gets hit once or twice by Wrath? She's loosing a fight again, getting beaten up again, even when it was just that the demon had a huge advantage on her and managed to get a few hits in, she'd still win that fight even without Superman interfering.

Anyways, sorry for the long msg... And damn, I don't think Supergirl is THAT bad man, come on, people like it.

Click to shrink...

Just chiming in but as someone who hasn't read your other fic I think it just comes with the territory of Kryptonian mcs. Even if the fic is blatantly a different tone or power level there's still this image cemented in peoples brains of kryptonians, as a big heavy boot to whatever setting they're in. Which is kinda fair due to the history of Superman and adjacent characters, but it aggressively limits what you can do without getting criticism. I know i've definitely seen other fics where there's a Krypto mc on ff and sb that doesn't steamroll and it tends to get people riled up.

 

[CapCaverna]

Its not bad perse but it doesn't fill me with joy when i see the update notification

Maybe it's because she never does any cool shit.

And it's not about power, because superboy is weak asf and people don't have a problem with him.

I've read about 40 chapters of the supergirl one, and looking back right now, she has very little impact on the overall story
All she does is talk to non important characters( catwomen)
and fights people that are not part of the main plot (super geek from shazam)

and she barely interacts with the main cast.

its like she was put in the story and had an entire new plot woven around her so she has stuff to do.

recap : she has low highs as a character, and really low lows
she got violated by nerdy aliens, didn't get revenge

Click to shrink...

Well, not that I'm completely disagreeing with you, but this is an example of things.

Kara COMPLETELY messed up YJ plot, the Team only had two missions and both are VERY different, if still familiar to the show, after the second mission, it's unlikely they'll ever get a third one that fits with their missions on the show, they're much better equiped and trained, the JL got a kick on the ass and is getting better and, while she has yet to trully attack the Light, the overhal story is gone man.

Unfortunately, because I didn't write her waving a huge hammer and smashing everything, or just directly involved in the episodes one as they happened in the show, people don't see it that way.

I'm not saying you're completely wrong and the way readers see the fic is kinda my fault, but I had read a LOT of fanfics where the MC joins the team and starts changing things from inside or comes in and smashes everything with metaknowledge and that wasn't what I wanted to write.a different one.

You're absolutely right that Kara didn't interact too much with the team, which was the focus of the YJ show, and you're also right that Kara entered the world and had a new plot, because that's what I wanted to write.

 

[riaantheunissen]

Damn, that hurts, I REALLY like my supergirl thing.

Click to shrink...

I do too. If only able to read one, either Reincarnated as Supergirl or Will of The Force then it would be Supergirl. To me that story feels as if there are stakes, she's not an experienced unstoppable juggernaut, so I get more invested in the chapters, while to me Will of The Force is more a case of seeing how Vader, who I do not emphasize with, is going to overwhelm whatever or whoever he faces.

 

[akiSa]

Anyways, sorry for the long msg... And damn, I don't think Supergirl is THAT bad man, come on, people like it.

Click to shrink...

Tbh, I don't particularly dislike the supergirl story, I also didn't dislike the beginning beats, or the fact that fights had tension rather than being a foregone conclusion. I just... lost interest? Wish I could tell you why, but I put it on pause a long time ago. Perhaps it's because I don't particularly care one whit about YJ? Not really constructive criticism but I'm just pointing out that those reasons you listed are things that I kinda liked lol.

I do like this story more, perhaps it's because I grew up on SW? Nostalgia hooked me, and I like the wormverse a lot, so nostalgia + setting. The story beats are cool etc.

As for it being in the NSFW section.. I had no clue that it wasn't, how the hell did I even find this then? I don't follow the SFW section at all because it's so barren.

 

[ThunderBasilisk]

Theres a bunch of stories in the NSFW section that dont have smut so it couldn't hurt posting there.