Chapter 9: Five For Fighting
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You know, to be truly honest I had lost track of how long we had been marching to Kyoto. I think it's been around two weeks but there were so many mountains the days started to blur together.
Which is why when we finally reached the gates of Kyoto I had to blink to make sure what I was looking at was correct.
"Yamato." I called.
"What the fuck is this?"
"Language." She scolded you. But she did so distractingly, for her eyes were burning a hole through the gate. "It's quiet. Too quiet. There's no trace of people."
She did not just-
"You did not just say that." I mumbled before speaking louder. "Right! So, we finally reach Kyoto and it's a ghost town. How much do you want to bet that this is a trap?"
"Onii-san is right: it's definitely a trap. My sixth sense is tingling." Himiko supported me in her own way. "Kyoto is a bustling, prosperous city. It's never this quiet. I've gotten good enough to see through obvious traps like this."
"You did run into a similar situation before and get defeated, after all." Yamato casually remarked.
"D-Don't talk about that!" The younger girl pleaded.
"Anyways, I can think of three options to deal with this." I held up three fingers. "We could: A, send in a scout first to see if they spring the trap, though that's sacrificing manpower. B, try and march all around to the other side of Kyoto to see if the situation there is the same but that'll take time and energy. Finally, and this is really the first thing that came to mind, we start burning everything and we don't stop burning until we have nothing left to burn. This is obviously a bad idea but fuck me I'm out of ideas."
I could actually
probably think of something else but we lack information- Hey why didn't we send a spy first?!
Oh right, we don't have those because they got merged with another division sometime last year. Goddammit who was in charge again?!
"Oi oi. What dangerous words are you speaking of." A pleasant voice suddenly said, coming from above. "But at least you recognized it as a last resort, and thought of more sensible options first."
I swear you could hear the collective sound of every person in our armies heads snapping up as we looked to the top of the gate, only to find a girl just shy of one or two years older than me. Her purple hair flowing down her back in a ponytail tied by a single yellow ribbon as she stood at attention, sword at her waist in a...
An armored sailor fuku? Goddammit her skirt doesn't even reach her thighs you can clearly see the absolute territory!
"What the hell are you wearing." I blurted out first. "No seriously, what?"
"Why, this is the traditional garb of my clan." She smiled pleasantly. "My name is Minamoto no Yoshitsune. It would be most appreciated if you could remember that."
She jumped down, gracefully landing in front of us. "You must be the Servant of Heaven. Nice to meet you. Himiko, Takeru: it has been a while."
"Y-You've finally shown yourself! It's not like you to show up without-"
"BENKEI REPORTING IN!" A loud, boisterous and childish voice shouted from above.
Followed by something, or rather someone landing on the other side of the gate and right in front of us with the force of a cannonball.
"Mission complete! The Himiko Army is as flat as a pancake!" A brown haired girl with... fox ears... declared. She was tinier than me and only wore a short white dress and some gloves but her back was filled with weapons of all kinds from giant spike clubs to spears to... saws... to... farming rakes-
"You know what? This entire thing? I regret it. I regret it so much." I declared, my eyes twitching at the people who were in charge of Kyoto. "'Tis a silly place. What the actual hell is this madness."
Should've known, it was always the camalots.
"Not yet Benkei. The fun begins here." Yoshitsune told the girl called Benkei. Just as troops began to appear from both flanks of our own army, effectively boxing it between them.
"Minamoto no Yoshitsune, skilled and nimble like a tengu. Musashibou Benkei, boasting unrivaled strength. This is going to be an exciting battle." Yamato drew her sword, excitement already pouring out of her in waves.
"Yoshitsune alone was enough trouble... But now we're pinned between her and Benkei... Ugh! We played right into their hands!" Himiko cried.
"Chen. I'll face Benkei myself. You take care of Yoshitsune." Yamato whispered to me. "Make her surrender, and this battle will be ours."
So I was stuck with the school girl. Just
great. At least it wasn't the loli. "On it."
Yamato wasted no time rallying her own troops to charge at Benkei, who meanwhile was joined by various ranks of spearmen and white robed guys with pointy hats.
That left me face to face with Yoshitsune, who was also joined by fellow samurai and more of the white robed pointy hat... I think they were called, uh... Goddammit I recognize what they look like, shrine magicians! Yeah, those guys. They have shinigami or something.
I'm so screwed.
"Focus on taking out... the mystic dudes first." I told my own men. "Keep together and leave Yoshi to me, always have more than one man fighting a group got it?"
"You heard the Servant of Heaven!" One of them shouted, his sword raised high. "Forward! Target the Onmyouji! Stay together!"
With that we charged at the enemy troops.
Just in time to see Yoshi running at full speed towards me, nimbly dodging everyone trying to be an obstacle on her path. Once close enough her sword flashed, and if it wasn't for a sudden surge of adrenaline I would have been hard-pressed to block her blow. It wasn't as heavy as Yamato's, I think we're more or less evenly faced, but she was faster than me.
"I'm impressed you blocked that, Servant of Heaven." Yoshitsune smiled. "Looks like the rumors about you being versed in martial arts are true."
"Ha-
no." I let out as I moved back into my regular stance,."I just got beaten up by Yamato enough times. Not as fast as yours of course... But her ultimate technique is melee combat 101 with an extra step, I doubt she actually cares for speed."
"Not bad. That means your mind is just as strong, then. I also heard you talk funny sometimes, but to train you so extensively Takeru must truly like you." She looked pleased. "I trust her judgment, but some things must be experienced first-hand to be really understood."
"I called her an old lady with the face of a thug and she decided to give me hell." I declared bluntly, trying to keep my feet on the move by slowly circling around her in half steps. "We're friends but you're making this sound more special than this actually is."
Actually was she still pissed about that?
...Probably.
"Honest
and brave. What a wonderful combination." She didn't move, but her whole body looked as tense as a coiled spring ready to be set loose. "But I must see more - see if there's any evil within. Anyway, there's no holding back now. I shall be the judge of you."
And then she was in the air above me, her sword coming down like a guillotine. I barely had any time to move out of the way before she crashed into the earth where I was standing. She flowed seamlessly into the next blow, a rising swing ascending towards me as I hastily twisted my body to avoid it before swinging my sword back at her.
The exchange continued for a dozen seconds, with Yoshi darting back and forth to strike from various angles and me parrying before counterattacking with minimal movements. At one point she stepped back, nodding slightly. "How odd. Your swordsmanship is still rough at the edges but good. However, I get the feeling there is more to it... Were you perhaps a bare-handed fighter before taking up the sword?"
"Got it in one, I was learning boxing before I met Himiko." Crap I couldn't see any obvious openings... Well of course I wouldn't, that would be obvious. "But my bare fist isn't going to stop Yamato from slicing me in two so I figured I might as well use the magic crystal sword that came out of nowhere. 'Course boxing is all I know but when you're in Yamato's School of Hard Knocks you tend to adapt fast."
"Boxing? I'm not familiar with a style with that name. But considering the time the first rumors about you appeared, it's amazing how fast you learned." Her eyes fell on my sword, and her gaze turned pensive. "Forgive me for asking, but what do you know about your sword? Did Takeru...ever comment on it?"
"Okay, Yoshi, pause for a second and look at me." I gestured at myself. "You see this? All this fancy-shmancy armour? The crystal sword? Basically my entire load out?
I have no idea where any of it comes from. Like, at all. Did it come from heaven? Who the hell knows. As far as my knowledge goes I went to sleep one day and bam, I'm in the middle of a battlefield wearing what you see now."
"It seems like I asked a question you had to answer many times before. I apologize." She replied. "But if what you said is true, can you tell me why you decided to help Himiko and Takeru instead of trying to return to your home?"
"I lived halfway across the world on an island in the middle of the ocean both several centuries away from this time
and on a completely different timeline." I deadpanned. "I doubt there is any way I'm actually getting back, plus Yamatai's been pretty nice to me all around so why wouldn't I help out? Even if Himiko can be... Himiko."
Spill the beans. Spill
all the beans.
"Time travel? Truly, I didn't expect that answer. But I don't believe you're lying. Fascinating." She breathed out before smiling. "That's enough banter for now. Shall we resume our duel?"
"I don't know, I quite like talking." I replied before we both moved and our swords turned into a flurry of clangs that rang throughout the battle field, our bodies (or maybe just mine) getting more and more cuts as we seemingly danced on the battlefield. And just like my dancing skill I was the awkward white guy who when not flailing around was like a solid rock. "Am I allowed to start Trash Talking? It's the best of both worlds!"
"It is wise the warrior who chooses words over his sword. But it isn't so wise the warrior that wastes his breath during a battle." Yoshi gave me a knowing smile before trying to cut my stomach, "And it would be more effective against Benkei anyway. I prefer before and after a fight, not during it."
"I really have no response to that." I admitted, I mean I was going to say something about her legs but... Wait. "I mean if I run my mouth I probably won't be able to control myself."
And then I slashed aiming for the area of absolute territory between her skirt and her knees.
She dodged the most of it, only two red lines on her thighs the proof my attack connected, and went for a thrust to my shoulder, only for me to immediately twist my body and plant my freehand directly in her gut.
Mexican Bodyshot.
Always works.
Except this time she grabbed my wrist, even as her sword left a thin cut on my arm. I managed to knock her out of breath, but just as quickly I felt the hilt of her sword slam on my cheek.
My mind turned to instinct at that moment as the next thing I knew I was slamming my head into hers, before following it up with another knee jab to the stomach as she started to let go of my hand. I didn't even give her any time to recover as I used my body weight to slam her onto the ground, one foot instantly landing one on her chest while to other pins her sword-hand.
My blade flashed right between her eyes as I held it there, panting but still standing. "You think we can declare this my victory?"
For a moment-just a moment, barely noticeable- her gaze flicked down at her body before she faced me again. "It is your victory. I lose. It's my fault for forgetting you are also a hand-to-hand fighter." She looked embarrassed. "Would you mind getting off me, so that I can announce our surrender? I would like to avoid further bloodshed. You can take my sword if you don't trust me."
Ha. Ha.
Did... Did I actually win?! I thought I need to do something clever or cheap like throwing dirt in her face but did I actually win?!
"Don't mind if I do." I grinned, grabbing the sword off the ground before hopping off her and holding it in the air. "Holy shit I actually won! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"
It was only by using a bit of luck and my instincts but I did it! HA!
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At Yoshi's signal all the Kyoto troops quickly put down their weapons, adding the word 'end' to the battle. When we reunited with the others it was to the sight of Benkei hanging from Yamato's hand like a cat. Though now that I could get up closer to her, the animal ears from before revealed themselves to just be part of her hair.
Wait that made no sense! If your hair makes you look like you have animal ears then try to change it! Or at least maybe try to act like it or something?
"Nyau~..."
...Nice try kid.
"Are you alright, Benkei?" Yoshi asked her.
"Takeru showed no mercy..."
"There is no reason to complain. I'm probably hurt more than you at this point." The purple-haired woman replied with a straight face. "You have become even stronger Musashibou Benkei, though you can gain much by learning patience. Take pride in that."
"Thanks goodness." Yoshi smiled. "Benkei, we've lost. Let's surrender."
"Really? But we're not supposed to let bad people have Kyoto, right?"
"Bad people, yes. Himiko's still Himiko and the Servant of Heaven probably isn't a bad person." Are you sure about that? "Also, Takeru's back. It'll be all right."
"Well Yamato." I cut in as something BenBen said clicked. "It looks like, for the first time in the history of ever, a crusade is a success. We've successfully taken back the holy land. Dues Vult and all that. How're ya feeling?"
"I still have no idea what you're talking about. Sorry everyone, this guy has a weird way to raise morale among the troops." Yamato rolled her shoulder. "I'm not in my best condition, though."
"It's still a big step up from before, when you didn't fight at all. I was actually most surprised at her, though."
Everyone looked at Himiko.
She blushed. "What are you looking at me like that for?"
"You've really grown up, Himiko. You used to run away as soon as you saw me." Yoshi smiled.
"D-Don't drag up ancient history like that..."
"Do you not want him to find out? Looks like I've figured out how to force you to study again." She seemed very satisfied.
So am I like, not part of this conversation anymore? No boys allowed and all that?
Cool.
While everyone was laughing and catching up I maneuvered my way around to BenBen before waving my hand as casually as I could. "Yo."
"Eey!" She waved back. "Are you the Servant of Heaven? I'm Benkei! Nice to meet you!"
"Hi BenBen."
"BenBen?" She blinked in confusion.
"BenBen."
"BenBen...BenBen…Ah!" She brightened up. "It's a nickname, right?"
I gave her a silent for thumbs up. The tiny girl in front of me had activated my big brother instinct.
And unfortunately for her and probably anyone in the immediate vicinity, my big brother mode happened to be the weirdest thing.
"Friends use nicknames, right? Yay, Benkei has a new friend!" She jumped up in excitement. "Benkei needs to give you one. What's your name?"
"Chen."
"Chen...Chen..." She tried to look serious, but ended up adorable. "Che-ny!"
"Nooo!" Himiko's scream came from the distance. "Someone stop her! Anything but Yoshitsune's hellish lessons!"
"And Himi-chan!" Benkei immediately added, only for me to shake my head.
"Himiko is Himiko." I nodded sagely. "Himiko can never be anything but Himiko because otherwise there would be no Himiko and her butt monkey status will spill out onto the rest of us. Himiko is bearing the pain for us don't you see? Say it with me now, Himiko is Himiko."
Himiko is Jesus.
Bless her for being the butt monkey for us.
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Notes:
Alex: You're right, it's the weirdest thing ever.
NNB: No one knows what Big Brother Chen will do next. My chief weapon is surprise and whimsical randomness. Er, My two chief weapons are surprise, whimsical randomness, and...
Alex: Weirdness.
