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Recent content by AndrewJTalon

  1. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Jaune Arc, Single Father 57

    Neo had mostly just been watching. Cinder's orders had been clear: no harm was to come to the little Arc girl. Not yet. Not while they still needed their cover at Beacon. So Neo observed from a distance, silent and amused, as the tiny blonde Faunus tore through the academy like a one-girl...
  2. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Contingency 2

    Later... Yang: *snort* "You have to come with contingency plans to stop us if we go evil? What kind of assignment is that?" Jaune: "It's a special assignment but I'm working on it." Blake: "I am working on it. I have many such plans ready. Including for you, Yang." Jaune: "Blake, please...
  3. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: The Arc Farm: Shops and Politics

    The old guardhouse at the edge of Arcadia had been carefully remodeled into a cozy little farm shop, its thick stone walls now lined with shelves of preserves, smoked meats, and fresh baked goods. Tourists drifted in and out, drawn by the warm smell of woodsmoke and the hand-painted signs...
  4. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Dragonslayer: About Damn Time

    About Damn Time The Beacon vehicle garage smelled like oil, hot metal, and the faint ozone tang of Dust. Bumblebee sat in the center of the concrete floor like a sleek black-and-yellow predator waiting to be let off the leash. Yang was already elbow-deep in the engine, golden hair tied back in...
  5. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Contingency

    Jaune: "Professor, what did you call me for?" Ozpin: "I need you to come up with contingency plans." Jaune: "Contingency plans?" Ozpin: "Yes, to defeat your teammates if they go evil or get mind controlled." Jaune: "Huh? Why?" Ozpin: "You have a fantastic strategic mind, Jaune. I'm sure you...
  6. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Jaune Arc, Single Father 56

    The surprise came in the form of a tall, broad-shouldered man with the same warm blond hair as Katy and the same easy, slightly crooked grin that Mia had inherited. Mercer Sith Junior stood in the courtyard of Beacon with a travel bag over one shoulder and a small, carefully wrapped package...
  7. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    His patter needs to be more manic, slow dramatic weighty bits, quicker bits. You can use smaller words or lack of spaces and runon sentences in a few places to better convey his manic feel.
  8. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Dragonslayer week is almost upon us! So enjoy a few more prompts to get yourselves writing: -Yang feels ugly and unfeminine after losing her arm and acts more butch. Jaune though tells her she doesn't have to reject the feminine, it's part of who she is, and he still thinks she's beautiful...
  9. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    The exposition was pretty well handled. You did misspell "Warrant Offizier". You could tighten up the dialogue a little, though you do have fairly decent voice differentiation between characters. And thanks. I thought it might have been good if a bit cliche to enhance both Cinder and Pyrrha's...
  10. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: A Tale of Two Sisters

    A Tale of Two Sisters - - - The dressing room mirror was fogged with steam and the scent of cheap powder. Athena Nikos—barely twenty, still carrying the soft swell of pregnancy beneath the tight corset of her costume—stared at her reflection as if it belonged to someone else. The girl in the...
  11. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] The Great Temporal Step-Sibling War!
    Threadmarks: Cinder, Iridescent, and Zaroff Spy

    The curry stand sat under a string of faded lanterns near the edge of the commercial district, the kind of place that stayed open late because people needed something warm and cheap after long shifts. Steam rose from the big pots in thick, fragrant clouds—cumin, chili, coriander, and the...
  12. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: The Arc Farm: Taste Testing

    The Arc family farmhouse table in Radian was heavy with the rich, hearty spread of a proper summer lunch—fresh bread still warm from the oven, thick stews, and platters of garden vegetables that Lilac had helped harvest that morning. Team RWBY and JNPR sat scattered among Nick, Isabel, Lilac...
  13. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Write me more! This is great!
  14. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts
    Threadmarks: Flashback: Fafnir Trains Weiss

    The Schnee mansion's private training hall echoed with the sharp ring of steel on steel. Weiss—barely fourteen, hair in a tight braid, Myrtenaster still feeling oversized in her grip—lunged forward with a textbook-perfect thrust. Fafnir parried it effortlessly with Knarra's flat, the...
  15. AndrewJTalon

    [RWBY] RWBY Shorts

    Some prompts: -For Councilman Arc, Jaune needs a date to a big gala. Who does he choose? -Yang and Jaune are stuck holding hands thanks to some jerks' weird Semblance. How do they deal? -Weiss pays Yang to keep Jaune out of her hair... Which works just great for them! -Yang is turning into a...
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