Anonymous Fapper
High Lord Sarasuu Taalon
- Joined
- May 4, 2022
- Messages
- 436
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- 3,101
If you have them, enjoy the holidays, and say goodbye to Battlemaster Cin Drallig.
He was a good Jedi.
Very nice!!!
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If you have them, enjoy the holidays, and say goodbye to Battlemaster Cin Drallig.
He was a good Jedi.
Gonna be honest this is the only one I feel like responding to atm, the previous battlemaster who was arguably more skilled or at least just as skilled was so overwhelmed by maul just a few weeks prior to this in the timeline that he went for a suicide move to kill Maul and still failedPersonally I also think Maul's been slightly overskilled here too
I don't believe its ever been officially confirmed Anton Bondara was the Jedi Battlemaster actually, people just assume he was because he was known to be an instructor at the Temple for lightsaber combat before Drallig was.Gonna be honest this is the only one I feel like responding to atm, the previous battlemaster who was arguably more skilled or at least just as skilled was so overwhelmed by maul just a few weeks prior to this in the timeline that he went for a suicide move to kill Maul and still failed
Tbf that is very debatable considering Anakin beat him easily with a single hand in ROTS, so evening it out between that and his ROTS game showing Maul should definitely handle him pretty easily considering Maul at this point is about Plo Koon level
What effect had the 2/2 perk? Because if I remember correctly the first half pushed his medicl... count to 28k.
You do not remember right, the second one pushed it to 25kWhat effect had the 2/2 perk? Because if I remember correctly the first half pushed his medicl... count to 28k.
No, I absolutely agree. Not about the lightsaber skill growth stuff, but about the changing POVs feeling really frustrating. It feels really jarring to have something that's been built up this much repeatedly interrupted for things that, while necessary to the story as a whole, are significantly less important feeling to the audience. Or, at least, that's my opinion. I really like this story and the authors writing overall, but this chapter's pacing really frustrated me.I don't know about other people, but this chapter was extremely annoying to read for me. The constant changing of POVs during the fight, when all I wanted was to see the duel, just kept getting more and more enraging. The fact that I've felt a growing frustration for a while now with Cam's lack of growth in lightsaber combat certainly didn't help it. I'm probably gonna have to go back to re-read the chapter, because at some point I just started skimming over all other POVs. Anyway, this was just my own personal experience.
I'm wondering if this is another Skywalker homage. I'm not gonna lie, the fact that it feels like every Star Wars protagonist, fanfiction or not, has to lose an arm is starting to feel a bit played out. If Cam had to lose something, why not make it something less generic? Although, admittedly, most of the other body parts he could lose would be equally generic. I'm honestly not a big fan of the idea that a main character has to have body parts removed to learn a lesson or show growth in general, to be honest, though I understand why authors use it. It just feels a little played out as an idea and seems primarily to be used for shock value.
I agreed completely. Whats frustrating me particularly is how often cam loses his temper, acknowledges that it happens too often, and then immediately loses his temper again.I don't know about other people, but this chapter was extremely annoying to read for me. The constant changing of POVs during the fight, when all I wanted was to see the duel, just kept getting more and more enraging. The fact that I've felt a growing frustration for a while now with Cam's lack of growth in lightsaber combat certainly didn't help it. I'm probably gonna have to go back to re-read the chapter, because at some point I just started skimming over all other POVs. Anyway, this was just my own personal experience.
regimenthe Lokella'ade had kept the training regiments and taught them to their new members.
The author seems to follow the formulas of most other gamer stories. Rapid growth at the start then the MC hits a massive wall and the stats and skill levels start to grow at a snails pace.I don't know about other people, but this chapter was extremely annoying to read for me. The constant changing of POVs during the fight, when all I wanted was to see the duel, just kept getting more and more enraging. The fact that I've felt a growing frustration for a while now with Cam's lack of growth in lightsaber combat certainly didn't help it. I'm probably gonna have to go back to re-read the chapter, because at some point I just started skimming over all other POVs. Anyway, this was just my own personal experience.
I don't know about other people, but this chapter was extremely annoying to read for me. The constant changing of POVs during the fight, when all I wanted was to see the duel, just kept getting more and more enraging
about the changing POVs feeling really frustrating. It feels really jarring to have something that's been built up this much repeatedly interrupted for things that, while necessary to the story as a whole, are significantly less important feeling go the audience.
The fact that I've felt a growing frustration for a while now with Cam's lack of growth in lightsaber combat certainly didn't help it.
Yes a protagonist need to overcome adversity to be interesting and grow (lest they just be an overpowered self insert.) But it doesn't need to be constantly feeling like the protagonist is weak. This also applies to hero praising; just because the SI meets a character from the story doesn't mean they are ultra strong and unbeatable by the protagonist.
Maul is strong, yes, but he should have won that fight by using his anti-force tools he brought smartly, instead of just drawing it out for drama.
Whats frustrating me particularly is how often cam loses his temper, acknowledges that it happens too often, and then immediately loses his temper again.
Truth be told I'm not sure how much longer I'll stick with this story or any of its writers works, because of repeat tropes and irritations like this that appear in their stories.
I write this story, and the others, months ahead of what I post here (I'm 5 chapters ahead, fyi, with each going through planning, drafts and redrafts before I'm happy with them). Just because you, dislike how I handle a chapter/event - as I suspect you both did with TPM4 - isn't going to have me go back and spend ages changing it to suit your tastes. I write, first and foremost, for myself.
Painfully clear where your characters get their short tempers and poor impulse control from.I write this story, and the others, months ahead of what I post here (I'm 5 chapters ahead, fyi, with each going through planning, drafts and redrafts before I'm happy with them). Just because you, dislike how I handle a chapter/event - as I suspect you both did with TPM4 - isn't going to have me go back and spend ages changing it to suit your tastes. I write, first and foremost, for myself.
That has something that's been set in place for a while, as you say, and intentional. He has the skill, but not the connection/understanding of the Force to be the "force" he should be. Even then, he's 17, with 9 years of training. Against someone like, oh I don't know DARTH MAUL, who was trained from birth - and is around 10 years older than Cam - under insanely difficult conditions by Sidious to be capable of taking on High Council members, the fact Cam struggled with him doesn't make him weak.
Maul killed the current and former Jedi Battlemasters (Drallig and Bondara). People considered some of the best fighters in the Order. And he did so handily. Cam lasting as long as he did (which, fyi, wasn't that long as Cam was fighting that entire fight at his absolute limit, which was made clear at times unless you didn't bother to pay attention) is a small miracle, and sign he came into the fight prepared.
And as for the idea Cam could overwhelm Maul with the Force... that's not how it works. Otherwise there'd be no need for lightsabers. While it is possible, understand the insane training Sidious put Maul through - which Plagueis put him through - and understand how likely it would be for Cam, even with his abilities, to somehow be able to overwhelm Maul in ways that Sidious has spent decades training him to counter,. Because of that, Cam came at the fight from a non-Jedi mindset, and drew on the tech of a group who know how to fight and kill Force users.
and it worked.
Cam is flawed, and just because you know you have a weakness, doesn't make it easy to remove. Not when the source of so much of your problems can't be. The difference, unless it flew over your head, is that here, unlike say Vosa or the Vong, Cam regained control quickly. That's improvement.
Of course if that's too slow for you, or you want him to be perfect, you'd better get off now.
The door's wide open. Nothing stopping you getting out, nor will you be missed.
With respect, this is the first time I've commented on one of your stories, despite following you for some time. So the hostility is a little unwarranted, especially when my primary concern in that section was about pacing not content. Secondly, as someone who writes, I know that even when I've gone over a draft twenty times or more there are times when I miss things that are noticeable to another person. That is why having someone look over your draft is common practice among writers, as I'm sure you are aware, so I didn't think giving my first impressions would be an issue. I also notably didn't ask you to rewrite anything, just gave an opinion that you are free to ignore, as you have already stated you will do. I will take your preferences into account in the future and not comment, though I will still read because I like what you write. Best of luck to you.
Painfully clear where your characters get their short tempers and poor impulse control from.
My comment was neither combative or trolling and you chose to jump down my throat.
I'm not interested in getting an arguement
I write this story, and the others, months ahead of what I post here (I'm 5 chapters ahead, fyi, with each going through planning, drafts and redrafts before I'm happy with them). Just because you, dislike how I handle a chapter/event - as I suspect you both did with TPM4 - isn't going to have me go back and spend ages changing it to suit your tastes. I write, first and foremost, for myself.
Cam is flawed, and just because you know you have a weakness, doesn't make it easy to remove. Not when the source of so much of your problems can't be. The difference, unless it flew over your head, is that here, unlike say Vosa or the Vong, Cam regained control quickly. That's improvement.
Of course if that's too slow for you, or you want him to be perfect, you'd better get off now.
Oh, so you're one of those kinds of authors. Can't take criticism even when it's not given in a combative or offensive way, or even when it's not so much a criticism, but a "review". Well, that makes things much easier for me I guess.The door's wide open. Nothing stopping you getting out, nor will you be missed.
I write this story, and the others, months ahead of what I post here (I'm 5 chapters ahead, fyi, with each going through planning, drafts and redrafts before I'm happy with them). Just because you, dislike how I handle a chapter/event - as I suspect you both did with TPM4 - isn't going to have me go back and spend ages changing it to suit your tastes. I write, first and foremost, for myself.
That has something that's been set in place for a while, as you say, and intentional. He has the skill, but not the connection/understanding of the Force to be the "force" he should be. Even then, he's 17, with 9 years of training. Against someone like, oh I don't know DARTH MAUL, who was trained from birth - and is around 10 years older than Cam - under insanely difficult conditions by Sidious to be capable of taking on High Council members, the fact Cam struggled with him doesn't make him weak.
Maul killed the current and former Jedi Battlemasters (Drallig and Bondara). People considered some of the best fighters in the Order. And he did so handily. Cam lasting as long as he did (which, fyi, wasn't that long as Cam was fighting that entire fight at his absolute limit, which was made clear at times unless you didn't bother to pay attention) is a small miracle, and sign he came into the fight prepared.
And as for the idea Cam could overwhelm Maul with the Force... that's not how it works. Otherwise there'd be no need for lightsabers. While it is possible, understand the insane training Sidious put Maul through - which Plagueis put him through - and understand how likely it would be for Cam, even with his abilities, to somehow be able to overwhelm Maul in ways that Sidious has spent decades training him to counter,. Because of that, Cam came at the fight from a non-Jedi mindset, and drew on the tech of a group who know how to fight and kill Force users.
and it worked.
Cam is flawed, and just because you know you have a weakness, doesn't make it easy to remove. Not when the source of so much of your problems can't be. The difference, unless it flew over your head, is that here, unlike say Vosa or the Vong, Cam regained control quickly. That's improvement.
Of course, if that's too slow for you, or you want him to be perfect, you'd better get off now.
The door's wide open. Nothing stopping you getting out, nor will you be missed.
Painfully clear where your characters get their short tempers and poor impulse control from.
Can't take criticism even when it's not given in a combative or offensive way, or even when it's not so much a criticism, but a "review"
I mean if he just rediscovers kolto or uses the force with bacta and modern day practices he could restore the arm, as long as he gets it on ice fast and removes the burnt flesh and heals the damaged nerves he'll have a numbness probably not full feel in his arm below the elbow which could be a problem without enhancements physically or force wise but it should be possible and he'd still have a scar around where said arm was severed from.Tbf with Maul it seems the author is contradicting the canon hierarchy, where legends is below movie canon. The good think about this is Grievous won't be a joke when he's introduced.
As for the switching of POVs it feels jarring due to the lose of momentum the fight builds up. Also what lesson is he supposed to learn from losing a limb like that? It's not like he brought Anakin to the battlefield on purpose. The force is going to fuck him when he's about to win to keep canon? Is that the lesson?