"Relax little bro, when have I ever led you wrong?" Vic's words send a shrivel of fear down the younger boy's spine. Not that anyone can tell Wil is the younger brother by looking at him. That's not to say Vic is tiny, just that Wil is built something like a cross between an ape and a bull. No one would expect him to be so agile on top of that.
Despite that, the bigger of the two bandits defers almost instinctively to his brother. Even if it keeps ending badly. Speaking of which...
"Just a bunch o' dirt farmers..." Wil does his best imitation of his brother's voice, only to get cut him off with a wave of Vic's hand
"Beside that ol' story."
"Aint no trouble at all, Robbing carriages in the wood'll be easy as taking candy..."
"And how the hell was I supposed to know the damnfloating carriage had got a wizard inside. Anyway, this old cave is full of kobolds and what's easier to rob than goddam kobolds? No one'll even care that we're doing it. Hell they'll probably give us a kobold-killing medal or something. It'll be easy as taking candy from a baby!"
Wil sighs, and shakes his head. "We do fine when it's all punching up a few old women and mugging folks off the street, but every big plan you have..."
"Think about it Wil! This is our ticket the big time, kill some kobolds, level up, get some loot. Today a cave full of kobolds, tomorrow actual highwaymen! And then, real bandits! Terrifying villages, living in the hills, don't you want that?"
Wil hesitates, then nods. He never can resist when Vic gets that far off look in his eyes. His older brother's always looked out for him since he was a kid, so Wil has to take care of him back. Besides, it's just kobolds, what's the worst that could happen?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
++++Encountered Peasant Mugger Vic, and Hireling Wil the Bandit++++
You stir into awareness as you feel your next meal approach. The smaller of the two shouting excitedly as he picks up some of that shiny yellow metal you scattered around and waves it in front of his companion's face.
Hello?
Your voice echoes from the cave causing both to jump and face the cave mouth, drawing weapons as they do.
It's been so long since we had guests. Not that we're supposed to have guests in the hiding place....
You try to speak more quietly this time as you lay the first seeds of deception, portraying yourself as an idiot, and hinting of values in the cave. You find the meat's puzzled expressions oddly satisfying and resolve to play up the act even more.
"What are you?" The smaller one speaks again. Perhaps he's the leader of the two.
A spirit bound by magic for all time.
The two share a quick exchange of whispers with the smaller one holding up the metal he found and pointing repeatedly.
"So, umm... spirit? Why are you here then?"
I may not speak of the treasures I watch.
Now the larger one seems excited too.
"Treasures?"
I am bound to say nothing of the treasures hidden behind the veil of darkness in this cave.
The two practically shove each other aside as they race to enter. If your voice was something you used instinctively you would surely be terrifying them with bouts of uncontrollable laughter. Is food really so foolish as to enter the predator's mouth? Regardless, such deceptions are simply too enjoyable. There have to be smarter foods than these prey, but even so you find yourself resolving to toy with them more and more.
The two would-be adventurers light torches--so they are capable of some intelligent action after all--and begin to search the first room, moving with a little more care than you'd like as they squint through through the darkness, trying futily to get any sense of the room's size and shape.
You shouldn't enter... And would you mind feeding the dogs if you're here, I do think the poor dears have been let starve for too long.
Falling back to back, the two humans prepare themselves. Perhaps you shouldn't have given the warning, but this is too fun to let it be over that quickly. The first of the dogs in the room lunges at them from the shadows. The larger of the two, and the quicker to your surprise, wastes no time in meeting the creature, bringing a hatchet down on the dog's head with such force that it crushes the skull, and lodges itself firmly inside the dog's head.
His partner, acting with less skill and strength, is tackled by the second of your dogs before managing to thrust a knife into the starving beast's throat, killing it with moments to spare. He tries to shove the corpse aside and rise to his feet, but is far too slow to do more than shout a warning to the larger adventurer. Not that his companion is quick enough to do anything about the last dog, melting out of the shadows with hunger and madness in his eyes.
The dog's teeth sink deep into the larger adventurer's leg, provoking a scream of sweet agony before the big one frantically begins pounding the dog's skull with his bare hands until it staggers off dazed. With a growl of rage and frustration he grabs his torch with both hands and begins to hammer the dog with it. Screaming as he does. His frantic attacks are undisciplined and unfocused, but there is an undeniable amount of strength behind them.
Only after the torch has been reduced to mere splinters does he stop attacking. wincing in pain and examining his wound he finally manages to retrieve the hatchet before limping back to his brother.
The sweet taste of blood distracts you from giving a prompt reply and the two resume their search of the room's perimeter
Oh the poor dogs...
"Bastards tried to kill us."
Well they had to guard the chest in the center of the room of course.
Predictably the adventurers perk up at that. You don't quite understand why they'd want these shining metals, but it's simply so adorable to watch as they hurry away from the walls to find the chest.
The larger of the two wastes no time in examining the lock, then proceeds to pull out a thin set of needles and dismantle your creation, disarming the spike trap below without even really seeming to notice it.
"Hey spirit! This isn't gold!" the smaller shouts in anger as he kicks the chest full of silver, failing to do more than bruise his foot in the process. How curious, you thought the food enjoyed such metals as you put in that chest. Was this an insult?
Of course not, the gold is...
"Yeah, where?"
I must obey the master's orders. I must not say that the gold's hidden at the entrance to the wizard's lair.
You add a hint of mechanization to your voice, as if repeating a mantra you've been instructed a thousand times.
"And where is this lair?"
I cannot tell you.
The louder of the two finally chimes up. "It outside? somewhere?"
It is not.
"Further in the cave?"
I cannot tell you.
"Vic, why don't we just take the silver and go. My leg's hurt and we only have the one torch between..." The smaller one--Vic's-- torch chooses that moment to die, its light finally consumed by your shadows. The panicked glance the two share is simply too amusing for words.
"We don't even have any more torches. If we have to fight something else we could die here. This is already more than we planned to..."
"Come on Wil!" Vic ignores his companion's requests as he rises to his feet, and struggles blindly to find the entrance to the next room. Wil sighs regretfully, then stumbles after, clutching his shoulder.
You were worried they might do the smart thing and just leave. Though that might attract more adventurers in the long run, something in you finds their struggles far too amusing to let them go.
1. What traps did you arrange in the second room?
[ ] Nothing besides the boulder that will trigger later
[ ] Describe traps/beasts
2. Keep talking?
[ ] Keep up this act
[ ] Try changing it up a bit, see how else you can play with them (insert chosen strategy here.)
[ ] Just go quiet
