Amelia, Worm AU [Complete]

[Jackercracks]

-snip-

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You must be better than me at predicting GRRM, because I had no idea about either of the weddings beforehand.

You know DBZ was originally supposed to end with the Freeza saga? It was all wrapped up and finished. Then they got offered a boatload of money and decided "Know what we should do? Exactly the same thing, all over again!". The similarities between Freeza and Cell, for example, are endless. I can't be mad though, I ate that up when I was a kid.

 

[TanaNari]

I am now emotionally invested. Let's watch them die, shall we?

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Noes! Mah evul plans r ruined!

Nah, seriously though, I got a better twist than that in mind.

And if they don't die, they certainly do lose meaningful things.

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Hey, losing meaningful things is a different subject entirely. That totally happens to main characters all the time. In fact, I'd be hard pressed to name a main character in any story I've ever read that didn't lose something precious at one point or another, outside of stories angled toward young children.

Just curious, in which of those categories would you put the first major character to die?

He was important throughout the first book and doing 'interesting things' pretty much all the way up to his death.

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Was he the one that later turned out to be faking his death? Or am I confusing him with someone else?

I kinda stopped reading the series. And I stopped paying attention before I stopped reading. Because I decided that the ability to explain why something wasn't good was less interesting to me than using my time on something I enjoyed.

 

[Snake/Eater]

Good chapter,it's refreshing to see a new character with a different prospective of life.though the ending you left us had a serious case of cliffhanger-itis. i'm posting m83's"Wait",because whatever they're trying to do, the fact is there is No time left.it's just Two misfit zeroes against a Monster.

Yeah, my power, it even stops hers cold," he responded. "Nothing can touch the things I control, unless I allow it

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Jesus....things were that bad between them that they tried to Murder eachother. damn that is pretty crazy.

 

[Zooboss]

Was he the one that later turned out to be faking his death? Or am I confusing him with someone else?

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Nah, the one who was publicly executed.

Anyway, sorry for the derail

 

[TanaNari]

Nah, the one who was publicly executed.

Anyway, sorry for the derail

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Ah, okay.

Also: don't think it counts as a derail if I participate. And even if it does, it's not one you need to apologize for. Because I participated.

 

[TanaNari]

Amelia, Ch 272


The Endbringer froze in place. And then fell over on its side.


"Fuck yes!" a man's voice shouted over the armbands. "We took it alive! We captured a fucking Endbringer!" ShockConfusionAwe.


"Umm," a woman's voice cut in. "This is Rosary, from Haven. What Shaman meant to say is that we've managed to paralyze the Endbringer. For the time being, at least. It's still alive, but unable to actually move. Requesting immediate aid, because this is stressing our powers to the limit."


"They... how?" I muttered. HorrorGuiltFailure. Oh god, we destroyed Brockton Bay. For fucking nothing.


"Understood," Taylor replied. I felt the offload of her emotions, as well as the regret for doing so. It's okay, I'll be strong, I can handle it for the time being. "Shunting over our Tinkers and Thinkers. We'll try to find a way to help."


I closed my eyes and cried, clinging to Taylor. A lot of it was my own guilt as well, of course, but the stress of holding both of us together was agony. It was such a relief when she took up her side of the slack that I almost fell over from the lack of emotion.


"Thank you for that," she whispered. "They're going to need your power a lot more than me right now."


"You mean?" I asked. ConfirmationCertaintyFear. Thank you so much. I pushed my emotions down into the bond, forced myself to pretend I didn't feel them. Taylor clung tighter against me. I tried not to think about what I was now putting Taylor through, knowing that thinking about it would only make things worse for her. I need someone to help her while I'm in Brockton Bay. Away from her. I couldn't ask Lisa to do it, we might need her. Taylor wasn't really close to anyone other than the pair of us. "Crystal?" I spoke over our system.


"I'm here," she replied. "What do you need?"


"Look after Taylor for a bit," I asked her. "I'll explain later."


"Okay," she sounded concerned, but she didn't hesitate. I looked at my partner. Sorry, I'll try not to take any longer than I have to. I shunted over.


Brockton Bay was... there was no Brockton Bay. Miles around was smooth as glass, from the Endbringer's power. Water was already pouring in from the bay, but this far inland it was reduced to little more than a fast moving stream. Nothing Dryad's extra bulk couldn't manage easily. I activated the hover setting and moved toward the epicenter.


"To the right," Riley informed me. I had to use the telescopic zoom to find two people sitting on a demolished building, just outside the Endbringer's effect. We did that. Not the Endbringer. Us. That building, the others behind it, those would have survived if not for us. I tried not to think about it, the more I did, the worse things would be for Taylor. She's being strong for me, I'll be strong for her.


I reached the pair. The woman, Rosary, stood to greet me. I didn't give her a chance for pleasantries. The sooner this is done, the sooner I can get back to Taylor. "I'm a healer," I told them, immediately feeling stupid because of course they knew that.


"I'll be fine for a while," Rosary responded. "He's going to need your help right away."


I put my hand on his shoulder, letting my armor partially meld with is. I recognized the design, it was full of organels producing inorganic spores. Right, that suit. I remembered because this was the guy who could counter Lily's power.


He was in bad shape. Exhaustion equivalent to three days without sleep, a rapidly worsening migraine, and minor brain swelling around the Pollentia. "I'll do what I can," I told them. I started mending his body first, and hesitated for only a moment before reaching into his brain. I reduced the swelling and did my best for the headache. Eventually choosing to give up and turn off his ability to sense pain entirely. That's something I can fix later.


"Fifteen minutes," Riley spoke up. I could tell she was talking over the coms. Probably to Lisa. "Twenty if we're lucky. Then his power collapses. Honestly I'm not sure how he held on long enough to be healed."


Fuck. "We don't have a lot of time," I told the pair.


"Get us closer," Rosary instructed. "This is harder at range."


I nodded, and touched her armor, allowing mine to meld with it as well. Activating all our antigrav fields at once, I used mine to pull us toward the paralyzed Endbringer. By the time I'd gotten there, everyone else was already talking. The Triumvirate, Dragon, Defiant, Narwhal, Lisa, most of our thinkers. Vicky's not here, I realized. No, worry about her later. Taylor's under enough pressure.


There was a layer of forcefields blocking Wendigo, and the nanothorn mist that it was generating. If they hadn't completely encased it, the Endbringer would have sank god only knows how far into the earth by now.


"Moving it will be impossible," Lisa replied. "Shaman's power is absolute, and pretty much evenly dispersed throughout the Endbringer. And don't bother suggesting shunting it somewhere, that won't work. The best we could hope to achieve is stripping off a few layers to expose the core. And even if we could, we would need a world we thought for a second it couldn't escape from. Spoiler alert: we don't have one of those. Endmakers are clearly capable of dimensional travel, it would return."


"I suppose the same immovability also makes it indestructible," Defiant asked.


"Pretty much," Lisa shrugged. "This bought us time, sure, but only time."


"Same strategy as before?" I asked. "Another fifteen minutes to evac the region outside of the city could save tens of thousands of lives."


"Already on it," Alexandria replied.


"Eidolon, any ideas?" I asked. "A power that can kill it while it's paralyzed like this?"


"I can't do anything to it while it's still being locked down by this power," he admitted. "I can damage parts of it, and that's all."


"And if we damage it without destroying it, then it'll just activate its final stage, and everything will be annihilated anyway. Letting it go would without taking advantage of its current state would be less destructive in the long run."


"Forcefields and containment foam," Lily replied. "I can control what my power hurts, ignores, or is effected by. Give me a few containers of foam, or better yet that gel stuff. It'll expand into everywhere inside this thing. When Shaman's power wears off, it'll expand there, too."


"I... I can shut it off in pieces," Shaman gasped. "Already have. I'm just controlling the outer layers right now, and parts of the inside. Less than half of what I started with."


"Dragon?" Lisa asked. "Your tech best suited for this. We'll probably lose a few ships. Oh, and use magnetically attuned shielding, not the kinetic stuff. Everyone else, we need to retreat. If this goes wrong in any way, we don't want to be anywhere nearby."


A few of the suits started taking their position, while Taylor, bless her, still had the presence of mind to bring in a few of the containment gel suicide bombers. They were promptly gutted by Lily, who pulled out the foam container tanks. I wasn't sure all the difference between the typical foam, and this gel, except that it was a more densely packed recipe. It didn't leave breathable air pockets, and it was a strong enough adhesive that it would eat away at skin. Forbidden to be used except against targets with kill orders, and restricted even then because of the danger it presented to the area. If it weren't for how Endbringers always seemed to have some new trick up their fucking sleeves every time you had one cornered, it might even be able to hold them.


"Will you be safe when we breach the container?" Dragon asked Lily.


"No need," she responded. "It'll breach itself when I use my power on it. Just get everyone to safety." She hovered up and landed atop Wendigo, ignoring the wisps of blue nanothorns that washed across her armor. Her power in action. Her feet sank slightly into the Endbringer's corpulent stomach.


We all started shunting across. "Wait," Shaman gasped. "If I move over, my power will wear off."


Fuck. "Can you shield yourself?"


"Not right now," he admitted. "It's either my armor, or the Endbringer. Pretty soon it won't even be that. Don't worry, I'll just have to hope that forcefield holds long enough."


"Climb into that," Trevor pointed at one of the now eviscerated suicide bombers. "Still has a shunt drive. I can help Dragon slave it to one of her tracking AIs."


"Y'know, I always knew the hero business was a shit job," he muttered, as Rosary helped him make his way to the artificial lifeform that was only alive on a technical level. I followed over, healing and sealing the thing around him. Cost me a few pounds of mass from my Dryad to make that work, but it did work.


"Okay, he's secure," I informed the others. By now, almost no one was here in person. I infused my armor around Rapture's and shunted us both over.


It didn't look like much, from the other side. One moment there was Lily in a cloud of mist that was melting as it touched her. The next, a giant light gray polyhedron made where all the shields overlapped. It wasn't a particularly uniform geometry, consisting over curves in some areas, various shapes in others, forming an oblong shape overall. Kind of like a clear balloon filled with lumpy oatmeal.


"Don't worry, I'm alive and well in here," Lily replied. "Kinda hard to breathe. Aren't these suits suppose to be protected from that?"


"Up to one kilometer underwater," Emma confirmed. "Don't worry, the structural integrity field's still holding, you'll be fine."


"Trade you," Shaman muttered. "I'm going to let small parts go at a time. Tell me when you sense your power finish covering its interior."


"My power doesn't work that way," Lily replied.


"No shit?" he chuckled painfully. "You always did make me do all the work. I'll tell you when I'm done."


I stopped exploiting the bond to keep me stable, rushing to hold Taylor. Sorry, so so sorry. ReliefAcceptanceLove. I squeezed her, as we both dealt with the wash of pain, guilt, and uncertainty.


===============

A/N- The reason I didn't release the last chapter yesterday was because I was afraid someone would put 2 and 2 together and predict THIS chapter too early.

Oh, and this absolutely was foreshadowed. I forget what chapter, but it was definitely foreshadowed that Rosary/Shaman could be an Endslayer combination. And by "foreshadow" I mean "fore-freakin-told-you-outright".

Edit: Found it. Ch 194

 

[edale]

You know DBZ was originally supposed to end with the Freeza saga? It was all wrapped up and finished. Then they got offered a boatload of money and decided "Know what we should do? Exactly the same thing, all over again!". The similarities between Freeza and Cell, for example, are endless. I can't be mad though, I ate that up when I was a kid.

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Wrong. DBZ was supposed to end with the Cell saga. The Boo saga was the one that shouldn't have existed.....and DON'T get me started on DBGT; at least with the Boo saga it was the same mangaka.

 

[The Shadowmind]

What type of wedding dresses would Taylor and/or Amelia wear?

 

[TanaNari]

What type of wedding dresses would Taylor and/or Amelia wear?

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Good question. Someone should totally plan their wedding so I don't have to.

 

[CptTagon]

Brocton bay was

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Brockton Bay

run.

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run."


Very nice. Now lets hope it works.

 

[jcogginsa]

You must be better than me at predicting GRRM, because I had no idea about either of the weddings beforehand.

You know DBZ was originally supposed to end with the Freeza saga? It was all wrapped up and finished. Then they got offered a boatload of money and decided "Know what we should do? Exactly the same thing, all over again!". The similarities between Freeza and Cell, for example, are endless. I can't be mad though, I ate that up when I was a kid.

Click to shrink...

Wrong. DBZ was supposed to end with the Cell saga. The Boo saga was the one that shouldn't have existed.....and DON'T get me started on DBGT; at least with the Boo saga it was the same mangaka.

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I would be glad to debate these points with you (I fucking love DBZ) but this isn't really the place. PMs?

 

[tordg]

blue destructive miss

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I think that's supposed to be "blue destructive mist".

battle ranged on

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The usual phrase involves the battle raging on.

Before 170, in fact.

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Being as I don't think you were implying that you'd written a chapter 100 ahead of time, 270.

expose the core

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Has Wendigo gained a centralized core in her later modes that we didn't hear about, or is this an unfortunately misleading turn of phrase?

I stopped exploiting the bond to keep me stable, rushing to hold Taylor. Sorry, so so sorry. ReliefAcceptanceLove. I squeezed her, as we both dealt with the wash of pain, guilt, and uncertainty.

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I found this really moving.

 

[kenhikaru]

Amelia, Ch 272


The Endbringer froze in place. And then fell over on its side.


"Fuck yes!" a man's voice shouted over the armbands. "We took it alive! We captured a fucking Endbringer!" ShockConfusionAwe.


"Umm," a woman's voice cut in. "This is Rosary, from Haven. What Shaman meant to say is that we've managed to paralyze the Endbringer. For the time being, at least. It's still alive, but unable to actually move. Requesting immediate aid, because this is stressing our powers to the limit."


"They... how?" I muttered. HorrorGuiltFailure. Oh god, we destroyed Brockton Bay. For fucking nothing.


"Understood," Taylor replied. I felt the offload of her emotions, as well as the regret for doing so. It's okay, I'll be strong, I can handle it for the time being. "Shunting over our Tinkers and Thinkers. We'll try to find a way to help."


I closed my eyes and cried, clinging to Taylor. A lot of it was my own guilt as well, of course, but the stress of holding both of us together was agony. It was such a relief when she took up her side of the slack that I almost fell over from the lack of emotion.


"Thank you for that," she whispered. "They're going to need your power a lot more than me right now."


"You mean?" I asked. ConfirmationCertaintyFear. Thank you so much. I pushed my emotions down into the bond, forced myself to pretend I didn't feel them. Taylor clung tighter against me. I tried not to think about what I was now putting Taylor through, knowing that thinking about it would only make things worse for her. I need someone to help her while I'm in Brockton Bay. Away from her. I couldn't ask Lisa to do it, we might need her. Taylor wasn't really close to anyone other than the pair of us. "Crystal?" I spoke over our system.


"I'm here," she replied. "What do you need?"


"Look after Taylor for a bit," I asked her. "I'll explain later."


"Okay," she sounded concerned, but she didn't hesitate. I looked at my partner. Sorry, I'll try not to take any longer than I have to. I shunted over.


Brockton Bay was... there was no Brockton Bay. Miles around was smooth as glass, from the Endbringer's power. Water was already pouring in from the bay, but this far inland it was reduced to little more than a fast moving stream. Nothing Dryad's extra bulk couldn't manage easily. I activated the hover setting and moved toward the epicenter.


"To the right," Riley informed me. I had to use the telescopic zoom to find two people sitting on a demolished building, just outside the Endbringer's effect. We did that. Not the Endbringer. Us. That building, the others behind it, those would have survived if not for us. I tried not to think about it, the more I did, the worse things would be for Taylor. She's being strong for me, I'll be strong for her.


I reached the pair. The woman, Rosary, stood to greet me. I didn't give her a chance for pleasantries. The sooner this is done, the sooner I can get back to Taylor. "I'm a healer," I told them, immediately feeling stupid because of course they knew that.


"I'll be fine for a while," Rosary responded. "He's going to need your help right away."


I put my hand on his shoulder, letting my armor partially meld with is. I recognized the design, it was full of organels producing inorganic spores. Right, that suit. I remembered because this was the guy who could counter Lily's power.


He was in bad shape. Exhaustion equivalent to three days without sleep, a rapidly worsening migraine, and minor brain swelling around the Pollentia. "I'll do what I can," I told them. I started mending his body first, and hesitated for only a moment before reaching into his brain. I reduced the swelling and did my best for the headache. Eventually choosing to give up and turn off his ability to sense pain entirely. That's something I can fix later.


"Fifteen minutes," Riley spoke up. I could tell she was talking over the coms. Probably to Lisa. "Twenty if we're lucky. Then his power collapses. Honestly I'm not sure how he held on long enough to be healed."


Fuck. "We don't have a lot of time," I told the pair.


"Get us closer," Rosary instructed. "This is harder at range."


I nodded, and touched her armor, allowing mine to meld with it as well. Activating all our antigrav fields at once, I used mine to pull us toward the paralyzed Endbringer. By the time I'd gotten there, everyone else was already talking. The Triumvirate, Dragon, Defiant, Narwhal, Lisa, most of our thinkers. Vicky's not here, I realized. No, worry about her later. Taylor's under enough pressure.


There was a layer of forcefields blocking Wendigo, and the nanothorn mist that it was generating. If they hadn't completely encased it, the Endbringer would have sank god only knows how far into the earth by now.


"Moving it will be impossible," Lisa replied. "Shaman's power is absolute, and pretty much evenly dispersed throughout the Endbringer. And don't bother suggesting shunting it somewhere, that won't work. The best we could hope to achieve is stripping off a few layers to expose the core. And even if we could, we would need a world we thought for a second it couldn't escape from. Spoiler alert: we don't have one of those. Endmakers are clearly capable of dimensional travel, it would return."


"I suppose the same immovability also makes it indestructible," Defiant asked.


"Pretty much," Lisa shrugged. "This bought us time, sure, but only time."


"Same strategy as before?" I asked. "Another fifteen minutes to evac the region outside of the city could save tens of thousands of lives."


"Already on it," Alexandria replied.


"Eidolon, any ideas?" I asked. "A power that can kill it while it's paralyzed like this?"


"I can't do anything to it while it's still being locked down by this power," he admitted. "I can damage parts of it, and that's all."


"And if we damage it without destroying it, then it'll just activate its final stage, and everything will be annihilated anyway. Letting it go would without taking advantage of its current state would be less destructive in the long run."


"Forcefields and containment foam," Lily replied. "I can control what my power hurts, ignores, or is effected by. Give me a few containers of foam, or better yet that gel stuff. It'll expand into everywhere inside this thing. When Shaman's power wears off, it'll expand there, too."


"I... I can shut it off in pieces," Shaman gasped. "Already have. I'm just controlling the outer layers right now, and parts of the inside. Less than half of what I started with.


"Dragon?" Lisa asked. "Your tech best suited for this. We'll probably lose a few ships. Oh, and use magnetically attuned shielding, not the kinetic stuff. Everyone else, we need to retreat. If this goes wrong in any way, we don't want to be anywhere nearby."


A few of the suits started taking their position, while Taylor, bless her, still had the presence of mind to bring in a few of the containment gel suicide bombers. They were promptly gutted by Lily, who pulled out the foam container tanks. I wasn't sure all the difference between the typical foam, and this gel, except that it was a more densely packed recipe. It didn't leave breathable air pockets, and it was a strong enough adhesive that it would eat away at skin. Forbidden to be used except against targets with kill orders, and restricted even then because of the danger it presented to the area. If it weren't for how Endbringers always seemed to have some new trick up their fucking sleeves every time you had one cornered, it might even be able to hold them.


"Will you be safe when we breach the container?" Dragon asked Lily.


"No need," she responded. "It'll breach itself when I use my power on it. Just get everyone to safety." She hovered up and landed atop Wendigo, ignoring the wisps of blue nanothorns that washed across her armor. Her power in action. Her feet sank slightly into the Endbringer's corpulent stomach.


We all started shunting across. "Wait," Shaman gasped. "If I move over, my power will wear off."


Fuck. "Can you shield yourself?"


"Not right now," he admitted. "It's either my armor, or the Endbringer. Pretty soon it won't even be that. Don't worry, I'll just have to hope that forcefield holds long enough."


"Climb into that," Trevor pointed at one of the now eviscerated suicide bombers. "Still has a shunt drive. I can help Dragon slave it to one of her tracking AIs."


"Y'know, I always knew the hero business was a shit job," he muttered, as Rosary helped him make his way to the artificial lifeform that was only alive on a technical level. I followed over, healing and sealing the thing around him. Cost me a few pounds of mass from my Dryad to make that work, but it did work.


"Okay, he's secure," I informed the others. By now, almost no one was here in person. I infused my armor around Rapture's and shunted us both over.


It didn't look like much, from the other side. One moment there was Lily in a cloud of mist that was melting as it touched her. The next, a giant light gray polyhedron made where all the shields overlapped. It wasn't a particularly uniform geometry, consisting over curves in some areas, various shapes in others, forming an oblong shape overall. Kind of like a clear balloon filled with lumpy oatmeal.


"Don't worry, I'm alive and well in here," Lily replied. "Kinda hard to breathe. Aren't these suits suppose to be protected from that?"


"Up to one kilometer underwater," Emma confirmed. "Don't worry, the structural integrity field's still holding, you'll be fine."


"Trade you," Shaman muttered. "I'm going to let small parts go at a time. Tell me when you sense your power finish covering its interior."


"My power doesn't work that way," Lily replied.


"No shit?" he chuckled painfully. "You always did make me do all the work. I'll tell you when I'm done."


I stopped exploiting the bond to keep me stable, rushing to hold Taylor. Sorry, so so sorry. ReliefAcceptanceLove. I squeezed her, as we both dealt with the wash of pain, guilt, and uncertainty.


===============

A/N- The reason I didn't release the last chapter yesterday was because I was afraid someone would put 2 and 2 together and predict THIS chapter too early.

Oh, and this absolutely was foreshadowed. I forget what chapter, but it was definitely foreshadowed that Rosary/Shaman could be an Endslayer combination. And by "foreshadow" I mean "fore-freakin-told-you-outright".

Edit: Found it. Ch 194

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You're an ass, playing with us like that. Nice chapter. Personally feel like the Endbringers are getting a little out of control in terms of power, but whatever. Still cool.

 

[Alterego9]

You're an ass, playing with us like that. Nice chapter. Personally feel like the Endbringers are getting a little out of control in terms of power, but whatever. Still cool.

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The problem is, that they are getting meaninglessly powerful. This one just destroyed BB, but if I'm reading it right, it had less human casualties than Leviathan. And even if I'm not and actually the town was full of people when they exploded it, it's irrelevant, because the "fight" are so abstract that it just doesn't have the same importance.

Endbringer fights were meaningful when they were described by capes attacking them from the ground level, through a litany of the names of the fallen. Now, they are swinging back and forth between "trumped by bullshit power", "trumped everyone by bullshit power", and anywhere in between.

 

[TanaNari]

Personally feel like the Endbringers are getting a little out of control in terms of power, but whatever. Still cool.

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Really? They're actually flat up weaker than the original three. Frankly, none of mine are even on part with Tohu, Bohu, or Khonsu. They're just really fucking hard to kill. And less subtle in their functions.

Endbringer fights were meaningful when they were described by capes attacking them from the ground level, through a litany of the names of the fallen. Now, they are swinging back and forth between "trumped by bullshit power", "trumped everyone by bullshit power", and anywhere in between.

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Wrong. The point of the Endbringers, what makes them meaningful, is how destructive they are- not to property or people- but to hope. That even when you fight them with everything you have, they're going to win and they're not even really trying. The desperation and fear they create.

That's what makes the Endbringers better than just another cheap monster of the week. Not the battles themselves, but the aftermath and the suffering that comes from it, and the spiral of decay that they create.


.... It does amuse me that they're so good at it that it effects the readers. Best. Unintentional compliment. Ever.

 

[cyberswordsmen]

.... It does amuse me that they're so good at it that it effects the readers. Best. Unintentional compliment. Ever.

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Not really. We are saying that you have overused them sufficiently that they have basically become mary sue monsters of the week. They have stopped being interesting events and start signifying that the next couple of chapters aren't going to have anything interesting in them. Killing Simurg cool, the first new one was good, killing Behemoth was less good but still worked. Beyond that they have gone kind of stale.

Endbringers worked in worm because they were too strong to fight head on. Operated on a large scale and importantly only showed up twice for attacks. All other appearances were secondary references for setting building reasons.

 

[toroidallizard]

Wrong. The point of the Endbringers, what makes them meaningful, is how destructive they are- not to property- but to hope. That even when you fight them with everything you have, they're going to win and they're not even really trying. The desperation and fear they create.

That's what makes the Endbringers better than just another cheap monster of the week.

.... It does amuse me that they're so good at it that it effects the readers. Best. Unintentional compliment. Ever.

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In canon, yes. But not in this story. The Endbringers are cheap monsters of the week, here. There's no desperation, no fear, no risk. They destroy a city? Who cares, it can be rebuilt. They kill our friends? Who cares, clone them. They kill a few million people? Who cares, they're not named, so they don't matter. Pantheon can fix everything they break, so nothing they do matters.

You haven't induced desperation or fear. Just apathy. Annoyance, in some cases. They're just frustratingly tough monsters. You've drained all tension from the entire situation. And really, congratulations. It takes talent to make the Endbringers that inconsequential.

 

[TanaNari]

I disagree. The toll is still there, the way the characters respond, the way they experience the situation. You can't see how they're wearing down? How it crushes their morale. That's what I'm going for. Now the flashy stuff, but attrition. And I'm achieving it quite well, if your reactions are any indicator.

But, hey, if you don't like the way I write, you're free to not read. Bitching about it, which is what you're doing, achieves nothing.

 

[jcogginsa]

I disagree. The toll is still there, the way the characters respond, the way they experience the situation. You can't see how they're wearing down? How it crushes their morale. That's what I'm going for. Now the flashy stuff, but attrition. And I'm achieving it quite well, if your reactions are any indicator.

But, hey, if you don't like the way I write, you're free to not read. Bitching about it, which is what you're doing, achieves nothing.

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He's not bitching, he's giving you criticism. Never mistake the two of them

 

[toroidallizard]

I disagree. The toll is still there, the way the characters respond, the way they experience the situation. You can't see how they're wearing down? How it crushes their morale. That's what I'm going for. Now the flashy stuff, but attrition. And I'm achieving it quite well, if your reactions are any indicator.

But, hey, if you don't like the way I write, you're free to not read. Bitching about it, which is what you're doing, achieves nothing.

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Then you're misreading my reactions. Or I'm not conveying them incorrectly, which is certainly possible.

 

[TanaNari]

He's not bitching, he's giving you criticism. Never mistake the two of them

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Not by the literary definition of criticism.

the analysis and judgment of the merits and faults of a literary or artistic work.

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I see none of that here. I see complaining. So if they're attempting criticism. They're doing a poor job of it.

 

[Cyclone]

TanaNari, if your intent is to make Endbringer fights boring, you're succeeding marvelously. The only thing I've found interesting in the last few Endbringer fights have been the aftermaths, what happens after them. The fights themselves have become only slightly more interesting than my class textbooks.

 

[TanaNari]

Well, to be fair, the aftermath is the part that really matters. What it cost them, physically and psychologically. So I'll grant you that much.

Still not a valid criticism, however.

 

[Snake/Eater]

Well, to be fair, the aftermath is the part that really matters. What it's cost them, physically and psychologically. So I'll grant you that much.

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You also forgot politically, the media is going to spin this as a Pyrrhic victory and the public is going be fear-turkeyed about Avalon's "Endbullet" WMD Project.

 

[Diller]

You also forgot politically, the media is going to spin this as a Pyrrhic victory and the public is going be fear-turkeyed about Avalon's "Endbullet" WMD Project.

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Let's not forget the fact that they blew up their own hometown for nothing. That's going to be another hit to morale. Pantheon went so far and it still didn't matter.

Let's not forget that the Endbringers are still sandbagging and everyone knows it. Even with all they've accomplished the Endbringers are still kicking their asses.

There's also the point of if they can't handle the Endbringers then they don't stand a chance in hell against Scion which probably frustrates them even more. Hell the thing they used on Wendigo was Anti-Scion artillery and it did jackshit.

The drama doesn't come from the fight itself but the implications. Tattletale already said the EBs can dimensional travel on their own. All it's going to take is for Eidolon's subconscious to finally go all in on taking out Panthenon and suddenly there's an EB on Avalon that's gunning for the resurrection tech.

The EB battles are reminders to Panthenon that everything they've done could be worthless in the end. It's about crushing their hopes like Tatanari said.

Essentially it's about the war as a whole not the individual battles.

 

[dasstan]

Seriously. The fuck are wrong with people that they're like "meh, whatever" when the entire city gets annihilated like that?

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It's not a failing of the readers when the author doesn't succeed in evoking the emotions they were going for.

 

[TanaNari]

It's not a failing of the readers when the author doesn't succeed in evoking the emotions they were going for.

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You might have a point there if it failed on everyone. But so far, it only seems to be small, if vocal, minority of them that aren't getting it. So, y'know, can't please everyone or haters gonna hate or whatever it is they're saying to be dismissive these days.

Can't lie, though. Still enjoying the fact that these complaints are only when are going badly for the characters. Means I've evoked proper reader sympathy.

 

[Biigoh]

Tanuki just wants more Riley.... :3

 

[Mogget]

Well people saying they subjectively didn't like something may not be a valid criticism, but that doesn't mean they're wrong. It just means they can't pinpoint what about the writing they have a problem with. When you get more than a few people complaining about something there was probably something you could have done better, even if none of us can figure out what.

Maybe fast forward endbringer fights a little to focus more on the aftermath? Instead of the blow-by-blow we're getting now? I realize you did that completely for Tohu/Bohu, but you could have done it again in one way or another.

 

[dasstan]

You might have a point there if it failed on everyone. But so far, it only seems to be small, if vocal, minority of them that aren't getting it. So, y'know, can't please everyone or haters gonna hate or whatever it is they're saying to be dismissive these days.

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From what I've been reading of the comments, most of the people weren't moved by it. They aren't upset in the same way they were back when New Dehli was lost or anything like that. The general feeling is "Okay, what's next?" rather than "Holy shit they just lost their city," or "Man, I really feel for Taylor and Amelia and whoever else cares about Brockton Bay."

Sure, it's tragic, but there has been a lot of tragedy in the fic already. I don't know about the majority of the other readers, but I've pretty much become accustomed to it in this fic. The stakes are bigger than one city, so the loss of that city doesn't have much of an impact.

As to the criticism in general, let me quote Tempera from SV summarizing Gaiman:

Remember: when people tell you something's wrong or doesn't work, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what's wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.

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Here's the thing; most readers suck. Thereby, most of your critics will suck.

Think of it as being like cooking. A lot of people don't know the first thing about cooking; look at how many people are unable to function when asked to cook anything more simple than chilli or toast. Those are outliers, but your average cook is by no means an expert. They will certainly know how to prepare enough meals to feed themselves, and they are capable of following recipes, but… that's it. They will never be truly fantastic cooks. Their skills are sufficient. Average.
A skilled cook will be able to pick apart a meal- to tell you what spices are in a dish, and how those spices complement each other. They will be able to tell you what foods were used in it, and why those foods were used- their texture, their flavour, how the smokiness of the beef perfectly complemented the lemon-rosemary dressing or whatever. But your average person-the best they'll be able to tell you is that the meal was too spicy, or that the meat was too tough, or that the pasta was overcooked.

To a real extent, that's what writing is like. Most people simply don't know enough about writing to comment in an informed manner.

So, when a reader looks at a story, they'll be able to point out issues they had with the story. You've probably seen a lot of comments along those lines; "The fight scene was boring, bleh", "I don't know what it is, but Amanda seems off at the start of this chapter", "There's too much talking", and so on. They're helpful in that they let you know you've screwed up, and in what direction you should look to try and see how to fix whatever flaw they're complaining about, but that's it. They don't identify the flaw in your writing, and they certainly don't offer a fix.

On the other hand, when a reader does identify a specific flaw in your writing… chances are, they're wrong.

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So, yeah. If there's a significant amount of people pointing out something in the writing they don't think works, there is an underlying problem. It might not be what they're pointing out, but the problem itself exists.