Bride of OverMaster's Crummy Corner of Fanfiction

[OverMaster]

Smoking.

"Oh, no! Peacock just put on The Mask (TM)!"

"...!"

"..."

"Nothing actually changed at all."

"Oh, I wouldn't say about that, I don't think the Medicis would've blown up into THAT many pieces before."

 

[OverMaster]

Rei Doesn't Want to Communicate.

"I don't think this is gonna work," Najimi said as they approached her.

"Neither do I, but we've gotta try," Hitohito said. While Najimi kept the trembling Komi in place, Tadano smiled nervously at the blue haired, red eyed pale girl. "H-Hey, Ayanami-san. Do you want to be Komi's friend?"

"..." Rei said.

She looked at Komi.

Komi trembled. "...!?"

Rei pulled a cellphone out and made a call. "Commander. Komi Shouko wants to be friends with me."

"What," Tadano said.

Rei nodded slowly while the other three waited. She pocketed the phone back. "Yes," she said.

"Seriously?" Tadano said.

"Yes."

The boy laughed shakily. "Oh, oh, that's good! So, um..."

"What does a friend of Komi do?" Rei asked.

"Dodging attacks from Yamai Ren, mostly," Najimi said.

Rei ducked under a flying knife with the expertise of an Evangelion pilot. "Within my possibilities."

With wide round eyes, Komi hopped in happiness.

 

[OverMaster]

Patching Things Up.

Heidern, Shikinami Asuka, Nick Fury, Xander Harris, Aizen Sousuke and Jubei-chan stood on the deck of a pirate ship.

"This is a stupid idea," Asuka said eventually.

 

[OverMaster]

Punch Punch Uh Oh!

Ryu turned away from the defeated Rufus. "You must defeat Sheng Long to stand a chance," he said stoically.

Rufus groaned. "Awright... Where do I find this Sheng Long guy then? He your Master or sumthing?"

"No, my Master is Gouken."

"And where do I find him?"

"You don't! He's dead!" Ryu said.

Gouken walked by. "Hi, Ryu."

"Hi, Master," Ryu said politely. He turned back to Rufus. "Anyway, if you didn't defeat me, how would you defeat my Master?"

"Because he'd be old frail and weak now?"

"No!"

"Then who is this Sheng Long guy!?"

"Nobody!"

"You were making stuff up just to troll me!?"

"No! Sheng Long is my Flying Dragon Fist!"

"You name your body parts? You're weird!"

"No! I mean my Flying Dragon Punch!"

"Then why didn't you call it 'the Sheng Long '? By saying 'You must defeat Sheng Long you make it sound like a person!"

"I don't know!"

They looked at each other silently.

"Does Ken Masters also have a Sheng Long?"

"Yes!"

"Your fist or your Master?"

"It's not my Master or my fist, it's my punch! Even Dan gets this straight easily!"

"Your other fist is called Dan?"

"Aaaaahhhh!"

"Or is Dan another Master of yours?"

"Aaaaahhhh!"

Midnight Bliss.

Iroha and Morrigan pulled the Tatsuru No Mai and the Eternal Slumber on each other at the same time.

At the sidelines, Galford blinked. "I'm so glad I could see this...!"

Iron Man nodded absently. "Jarvis, recording the whole procedure..."

"Get copies ready, please," Charlotte said, looking intently.

Sakura, who was not interested on the moaning nude scene, lifted an eyebrow at Charlotte.

"I'm French, we're naturally horny," Charlotte replied with dignity.

 

[OverMaster]

Slowpoke.

He proudly took one of the figurines out of its box, showing it to Nick and Judy.

"I have... Heavily invested in this... Newest sensation... Taking the world by storm... I'll make millions... Funko Pops."

Nick winced. "Flash, everyone's already fed up of those and they lost all value."

Flash lost his smile very slowly, then dropped his shoulders even slower.

"Dammit. It happened again."

 

[OverMaster]

Releasing the Files.

The president shook his fist around. "Make America great again! This is our Hemisphere! Any country challenging us will be taught--"

The screens behind him all began showing him having sex with very young girls.

The gathered press paled as a single person.

The president frowned. "What's with those expressions, people?"

----

Chisame smiled and folded her arms behind her neck, leaning back on the chair and looking at her computer screen.

Kakizaki was biting on her knuckles. "All of my favorite Hollywood stars...! Even Dad's! And Grandpa's! Ew. So many liver spots!"

"That's why I stick to anime," Haruna said.

 

[OverMaster]

For Better or Horse.

The brown haired young lady smiled cutely.

"Hello, I'm Special Week, an Umamusume! I'll be studying with you, please be patient with me, ha ha!"

Chisame's glasses slipped down her nose. "What, now mares too!?"

"We gotta stay relevant, even OM doesn't write Unequally anymore!" Asuna said.

-----

"-- and the winner of the Grand Derby is Kasuga Misora!" the announcer shouted. The audience cheered, Kasuga held the golden cup up, laughing.

"What the hell, she isn't even an Umamusume!" El Condor Pasa protested.

"This is your fault," Gold Ship told Special Week.

"Oh, sure! Blame me now when you were the one who began daring her!"

Negima still didn't regain any relevance anyway.

 

[OverMaster]

Trans Magia.

Loco Musica and Leberblume went into the meeting room.

Utena was sitting at the head of the table, huddled with hugged knees, trembling violently.

"Now whaaaaat?" Loco said. "Puni Puni Poemi again?"

Kiwi shook her head. "No. Someone called a Kampfer."

"I've heard about those. What about that? They're nothing special," Nemo said.

"She transformed back as soon as Utena began spanking, and..."

Somewhere else Natsuru was sitting on his bed, huddled with hugged knees, trembling violently.

"It wouldn't be so bad if she hadn't stripped me before..!" he told Disemboweled Tiger.

 

[OverMaster]

One Piece Goes to the Movies.

"That was an awful biography," Luffy said as the Straw Hats left the cinema. "Not only they got the story wrong but the actress doesn't even look the part, she looks like a dude!"

"That's a different Hancock, how many times do we need to tell you!" Nami yelled at him.

 

[OverMaster]

Home Alone versus Predator.

When Kevin's mom finally made it home, she found half of the house destroyed and Kevin sitting smiling proudly by the fireplace, with the head of an alien hanging on it.

"... I'm not asking," she decided for the sake of her sanity.

 

[OverMaster]

Short Sighted.

"Hee hee hee!" Choi cackled to himself. He licked his claws. "Finally I left Kim behind! Without him breathing on my neck, I'll win this tournament for sure! I'm so small nobody could land a hit on me..."

He walked into the waiting room for the first round and found himself with Happosai, Cologne, Gon the dinosaur, Yoda, Reindog, Gizmo, Servbot, Iggy, Shigechi, Chample, Poppy, Arale, Roll, Neko Arc, and B.B. Hood.

"... crap."

 

[OverMaster]

Abusive.

"I'm worried about All Might's protege," Spider-Man said.

"Why?" Daredevil inquired.

"The hero name he chose is the one given to him by his bully! That's just not right! What kind of damaged person defines themselves by the mocking title an abusive jerk gave them!"

Daredevil laughed faintly. "Ah ha ha, who indeed..."

 

[OverMaster]

Bare Knuckles.

Knuckles walked in wearing no shoes or gloves.

"Eeeeeek!" Amy Rose shrilled, taking both hands to her eyes.

"Dude, what are you doing!?" Sonic said.

"Sega invited me to be a playable guest in the next Streets of Rage," Knuckles said. "I should be dressed for the occasion, shouldn't I?"

"What does that have to do with... Ohhh, the Japanese title!" Tails said.

"Good to see someone understanding," Knuckles said.

Sonic hummed. "If Pac-Man was in Street Fighter X Tekken it's not so much of a stretch, perhaps?"

"That's gotta do nothing with it! Immoral! Put your clothes back on!" Amy said.

Rogue licked her lips. "Why the hurry?"

Robotnik flew in on one of his egg ships. He looked at Knuckles, then at the girls. He looked at Sonic and Tails.

"No one's going to say the obvious, are you?"

 

[OverMaster]

Thrill of the Hunt.

The Helltaker and Azazel sat on the couch watching K Pop Demon Hunters.

Someone turned the TV off behind them. They turned around and saw the demon girls standing there scowling at them.

"Hey, what gives?" The Helltaker frowned.

"That isn't to ever be watched in this house," Lucifer hissed.

"But it's just a work of fiction!" Azazel said.

"No!" Zdrada said.

A lot of year later...

Loremaster and Lucifer sat on the couch watching TV.

"Ah, old TV had that charm one doesn't get anymore!" Loremaster said. "Why didn't I watch this back in the day?"

Lucifer grinded her teeth. "I despise you with all my heart!"

 

[OverMaster]

The Secret Origin of The Wuzzles.

"Tell me something, Butterbear, please."

"What is it, Rhinokey?"

"Do you think Dr. Moreau actually existed?"

 

[OverMaster]

Why Don't you pick 'Defenders'?

"Halt!" Sailor Moon said heroically, standing at the head of the team. "The Sailor Senshi Guardian Soldier Scout Warriors will stop you in the name of the Moon!"

The Youma tilted its head aside.

Sailor Moon hewed. "So what if we couldn't agree on a single appellation! Unlike you villains we're a democracy and we valued everyone's input!"

"Like hell you do, you were told we stop people in the name of the whole Solar System, not the Moon alone! But do you listen!?" Sailor Mars said.

"Not before the villain, Mars!" Moon said.

Mercury looked aside. "What's the difference, you'll kill the villain anyway in a flagrant violation of its rights as an exploited living being..."

"Stop it with that junk already!" Jupiter said.

Chibimoon walked to the Youma showing it a picture of herself as Black Lady. "You people taking applications? I'm looking to get out of this quagmire. I've previous experience!"

 

[OverMaster]

Foot Fetish.

Bebop walked by the Shredder's table. The ninja criminal had left his computer on.

Bebop caught a glimpse. His eyes widened behind his shades.

"The boss is weird," he told Rocksteady at lunch.

 

[OverMaster]

The Fantastic 100: First Steps.

"No, Grandpa," Kurumi said sternly, looking up, so much she had to twist her neck backwards. "You won't be eating Earth!"

"Apologies. Galactus was not aware you were living here," the alien said. He retreated back into his ship and flew off.

Rentarou and the girls looked at Kurumi in awe.

Kurumi blushed. 'M-My family tree had some unusual branches...!"

"You just want to save Earth for yourself someday, don't you?" Karane asked.

Kurumi blushed even more. "Not anymore, is that good enough...?"

 

[OverMaster]

The Melancholy of Gold Ship.

Haruhi laughed arrogantly, folding her arms. "You too!? Delusional fools! You won't trick me with your fake ears and tails!"

Gold Ship smiled, placing a fist on her own hip. "Oh, so you're too cowardly to be my racing trainer?"

"I didn't say that..."

Kyon winced, standing aside. "Why, just why."

-------

Haruhi laughed, standing at the top of the podium with Gold Ship sitting on her shoulders while holding the golden cup up.

The crowd cheered and threw confetti.

"Why just why!" Kyon said once again.

"Don't try understanding," Itsuki told him while Gold Ship stuck a carrot into Haruhi's mouth.

 

[OverMaster]

Streets of Primal Rage.

Mr. X addressed his assembled minions. "This is the dawn of a golden era for crime! We will subdue the whole city once these rampaging beasts are dealt with by the arm--!"

Then Vertigo stepped on him.

 

[OverMaster]

MAD About You.

Inspector Gadget spun the chair around forcefully. "You're arrested at last, Doctor Claw!" he said, handcuffing him while Mad Cat hissed and jumped away. "Let's see what is the true face of the head of... Of..."

The grinning visage of Alfred E. Neuman leered. "What, me worry?"

The Inspector huffed. "I'm sure someone has done this joke already..."

 

[OverMaster]

The 101 Dalmatians who Love You Very, Very, Very, Very, Very Very Much.

The young man smiled at the cameras, rubbing the head of a tail wagging Dalmatian.

"So that's it for today's show!" he said. "Remember, it doesn't matter if you too never got married or met a God of Love who found your soulmate, ha ha! You still can find fulfillment training these noble beings!"

He cheerfully left the set, waving at everyone, and drove back home.

The house was full of happy Dalmatian pups, licking at his feet. He sat under a portrait of Dalmatian dogs playing poker, on his black and white chair, his head drooping.

"I'm so lonely," Aijo Rentarou said.

 

[OverMaster]

Negima 1944.

The boy smiled at them. "Good morning. I'm Negi Springfield from Wales, and I'll be your new homeroom teacher..."

The girls jumped from their seats. "Ally! Gaijin! To him, Kamikazes!" Asuna said, and they all jumped on him activating their bombs.

In the prison in the basement, Evangeline snickered at the booms. "Idiots."

Ku Fei frowned, arms folded. "Serves them right!"

 

[OverMaster]

Boku no Hero Academia 1944.

They surrounded them from all sides.

"Give yourselves up, Yoshinori," Nedzu said. "You're bringing dishonor to your country, allying yourselves with our enemies..."

All Might smiled sadly. "Sorry. But the country already dishonored itself allying with the likes of Hitler. Do what you feel you must. Young Midoriya? Young Bakugo? You've got my most sincere thanks."

Bakugo smirked and clucked his tongue, readying his fists. "Tch, don't pretend it's a big deal. These wimps? We'll mop the floor with them even with Deku being a burden!"

Deku laughed softly. "Ah, Kachan." Then he frowned, glaring at the rest of his friends. "Sorry, everyone."

"Likewise," Todoroki said, then rushed at them.

-------

1966. Izuku and Katsuki stood looking at the sea.

"Even now, I don't know if that was the most glorious day of our lives or the saddest," Izuku pondered calmly.

"No reason it couldn't be both," Bakugo replied.

 

[OverMaster]

To Love Ru Realistic Style.

Risa giggled, sneaking behind Haruna and fondling the other girl's breasts.

"Oooohhh, so nice!" the pervert said.

Haruna pulled a phone out and called. "Dad! Lawsuit!"

-------

Risa sat at Juvenile Prison, frowning.

"It's not just me who should be jailed!"

-------

At his office, the Principal looked at the readership. "Huh? What? We're being realistic! So I hide my harassment here!"