Whitesnake Pelinal
Like a dream without a dreamer
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What if it wasn't a CUI city?
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Charm Learning Shard (Worm/Exalted) (COMPLETED)
- Thread starter Daniel Snuts
- Start date
néocorvinus
Experienced.
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The main proofs that communism is a dead end. People would take Nazis and British over it.
Wolfman217
Getting sticky.
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Discovered this yesterday and binged read the whole thing - I like it!
Taylor really isn't likable - but that's fine. That not the purpose of a fic' like this. It's fun to watch the trainwreck and wonder if she'll ever be hit in the face with some common sense.
I do have to say I was glad when the Taylor-in-the-Empire-and-drinks-the-kool-aid bit was over - Rune was cool though, shame she wasn't a closet lesbian though becuase closet lesbian Rune is best Rune.
Better slow down with the mass character death before you run out of named characters though.
Personally hope she goes onto conquer the CUI now and set it up as her personal fiefdom.
God-Empress Taylor for the win!
Know fuck all about Exalts - but being a God-Monarch seems right up their alley.
Maybe after she gets enough power to kill the endbringer (and Scion maybe to) she could leave Earth Bet and go somewhere else
Warhammer 40k would fit.
And as a Brit personally I'd welcome you guys back.
No, Bad! Bad! Taylor has already done that play - needs a new one.
Taylor really isn't likable - but that's fine. That not the purpose of a fic' like this. It's fun to watch the trainwreck and wonder if she'll ever be hit in the face with some common sense.
I do have to say I was glad when the Taylor-in-the-Empire-and-drinks-the-kool-aid bit was over - Rune was cool though, shame she wasn't a closet lesbian though becuase closet lesbian Rune is best Rune.
Better slow down with the mass character death before you run out of named characters though.
Personally hope she goes onto conquer the CUI now and set it up as her personal fiefdom.
God-Empress Taylor for the win!
Know fuck all about Exalts - but being a God-Monarch seems right up their alley.
Maybe after she gets enough power to kill the endbringer (and Scion maybe to) she could leave Earth Bet and go somewhere else
Warhammer 40k would fit.
And as a Brit personally I'd welcome you guys back.
No, Bad! Bad! Taylor has already done that play - needs a new one.
Daniel Snuts
Know what you're doing yet?
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Easiest cookie of the last 100 chapters? Perhaps, but a cookie still.
To be fair, they thought they were transporting an unconscious Shatterbird inside an indestructible, soundproof box.
The Yangban are not headquartered in Hong Kong, no (note how Taylor could tell that the rest of them were somewhere in that city).
They only used a boat to get them into international waters - the rest of the trip was by plane. Not that Shatterbird would have the range to reach the sea floor from a boat regardless.
Zxzx24
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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And all their Construction workers too! Mailmen! Sewer cleaners! The bleakest dogs and cats of the evilest owners and pet stores. And their children too!
The evil evil children.
GAMB42
Versed in the lewd.
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Debatable. Honestly if this was a Contessa or Simmy plot I wouldn't really apply the rules to them since neither is what one could call normal parahuman/cape. The simurgh is not even human and contessa, depending on who is writing her, is also not really a normal parahuman in any way or form, those 2 are more like plot devices or simply the masters behind the curtain depending on the author.
Whitesnake Pelinal
Like a dream without a dreamer
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The last one tasted like selfless devotion but this one smells funny.
tronax
Not too sore, are you?
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You spoke about trumps and tinkers in general. Not Taylor specifically. That they are can do anything, are unpredictable, etc. I answered that those guys typically just act according to whims of their closest Thinker that chooses to manage them. It could be Coil, Accord, Jack, Mama Mathers, Teacher... (or any of 99.9% of world's Thinkers that are never mentioned in canon). The higher the league of asset, the higher the league of the manager that eventually picks it up. In case of Dragon, Eidolon, Fairy Queen, or Taylor it's naturally Contessa and Ziz. Lower tiers naturally get simpler puppeteers.
Dread Pirate Gilligan
Getting out there.
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Are you proposing a Taylor who wouldn't kill babies if it was convenient for her?
There is such a thing as just too OOC, man.
Whitesnake Pelinal
Like a dream without a dreamer
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Hey man, that's not fair! Not fair at all!
Taylor wouldn't kill a baby for convenience, she was a hard woman making a hard choice. She had to kill the baby to save the baby.
GAMB42
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I don't think that this "management" works as well as you seem to think it would on the Wormverse, and most specialy in this Taylor's case. Sure thinkers have a powerful tool at their disposal to plan and scheme, if we are looking at higher tiers of powers, but we have seen many times in this fic, or even canon properly, how powerful thinker plans can and will go wrong, even more when you add Taylor to the mix. Tattletale, Coil and Jack Slash seem to come to mind. So sure you can go to the ultimate end of the scale with Contessa and Ziz but then again neither of their plans, if they even have them, have been shown to work as indeeded so far, at least from what I remember from this fic. Also I refer to again to my answer that both Ziz and Contessa are exceptions rather than actual classificable parahumans in the ,let's call it the "normal", parahuman classifications.
K.03
Daniel Snuts
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Can you not get kidnapped by a hostile superpower for one week without everything going to shit in your absence? Apparently not, because you don't even have time to rinse the sand out of your hair before you have to go deal with another international incident.
Okay, that was easy enough to resolve actually. Probably your favorite international incident so far, edging out the previous champion.
Esper 1:1. Now ESPER appeared unto Eligos, and spake: Thou hast worshipped the false idols of the ENEMY, and thus committed a grave sin.
(...)
Esper 3:15. Lead my children to the desert. And she pointed her arm towards the west, where the Silver Desert lay. And the faithful were filled with wonder and trepidation, for many strange tales were told of this place.
(...)
Esper 3:15. Lead my children to the desert. And she pointed her arm towards the west, where the Silver Desert lay. And the faithful were filled with wonder and trepidation, for many strange tales were told of this place.
Esper 1
1. Now ESPER appeared unto Eligos, and spake: Thou hast worshipped the false idols of the ENEMY, and thus committed a grave sin.
2. But I am merciful in victory. Cast off thy graven images and kneel down in repentance, and I shall spare thee and all those who follow thee from mine wrath.
3. And Eligos fell to his knees in supplication, and cast off his mask, and cried out: Blessed ESPER, merciful thou art indeed! I reject the ENEMY and all his works, and will be thy faithful servant evermore!
4. And ESPER was pleased.
5. She spake: Get thee to the Bay of Brockton, and all those who would follow thee, and offer thine allegiance at the site of the first victory.
6. And I will make of thee a great faction, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great.
7. And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him who curseth thee.
8. So Eligos departed, as ESPER had spoken unto him, and Ala and Ahrima and Amaymon went with him.
9. And Eligos took three out of ten among the unpowered, and all their substance that they had gathered; and they went forth to go into the Bay of Brockton.
10. But there remained those among the Fallen who heeded not the word of ESPER, and remained true to the ENEMY.
11. And so those unredeemed called upon Valefor, whose gaze holds dominion over all those he turneth it upon, and Valefor went forth to halt their exodus.
12. And it came to pass that Valefor fell upon Eligos, and Ala, and Ahrima, and Amaymon, and fastened them beneath his gaze.
13. And he said unto them: Mama is sore displeased with thee, and commands thy return forthwith.
14. But Eligos remained firm of will, and spake: Though thou mayest hold mine body in thrall, my heart and soul will forevermore belong to ESPER. Even should I be struck down by thee, I will never succumb, and never again abet the ENEMY.
15. And Valefor found his heart moved, and cried out: I cannot! For although thou art a heretic and traitor, thou art foremost mine brother, and I cannot strike thee down. Get thee hence, and let not the others catch thee.
16. And so Valefor averted his dread gaze, and the faithful continued their journey toward the Bay of Brockton.
(...)
Esper 3
1. But though they had at last secured the monument of first victory, they could not rest.
2. For the word of ESPER had not spread far, and so they were assailed on all sides by false heroes, who did not hold to the faith and thus unknowingly performed the work of the ENEMY.
3. And though Ala was sore wounded she held the line with her darkness and lightnings, and Eligos turned his blades upon all who came near, and Amaymon stole away the fell powers of the false heroes, and the wisdom of Ahrima did ever guide their blows.
3. But then in their hour of extremity did ESPER appear before them, and she spake: The fuck do you retards think you're doing?
4. And the glory of ESPER was such that the faithless did cease in their attacks, and the faithful threw themselves down in worship and proclaimed their fealty.
5. But though she had heeded their prayers, ESPER was still wroth. And in her wrath, she spake: Are you trying to attract cruise missiles? Because this shit is how you attract fucking cruise missiles. Do you have any idea how many governments you're pissing off right now?
6. Yeah, you'd better bow down and worship me, because I'm saving your dumb useless lives.
7. And ESPER turned her eyes upon each of her faithful in turn, and they all quailed beneath her gaze as it pierced their very souls. She spake: Blaster. Shaker. Trump. Thinker. And a passel of mortals.
8. I could shoot each of you with a pawnshop handgun, and you'd every one of you die. And you're trying to go up against the majority of the world's military- hey!
9. You, yes you in the back with the dumb outfit. Don't think I don't see you writing down everything I say. And thus ESPER turned her visage towards her Chronicler, and spake unto him: I can see you unnecessarily capitalizing my name right there. You better not be putting words in my mouth.
10. And so her Chronicler swore to perfectly capture each word as it fell from her lips, and ESPER turned her attention to the powered faithful, and spake: Who's the leader of this clown show?
11. Eligos rose up in response, and ESPER looked upon his vestments and exclaimed: Seriously? I'd be a lot more flattered if you could even remotely pull off my costume.
12. New commandment: No one gets to cosplay as ESPER. Especially not men. How does stoning sound as a punishment? Yeah, you lot like that Old Testament shit don't you? Writing guy, take note.
13. And so was the first commandment of ESPER given, and it was thus: Thou shalt not imitate the vestments of ESPER, for her glory is hers alone. And those that trespass against her commandments shall suffer death by stoning.
14. And so Eligos hastily stripped out of his garments in shame, lest he suffer death by stoning, and ESPER spake once more: Where was I? Oh right. Awful cosplay leader guy, heed my words:
15: Lead my children to the desert. And she pointed her arm towards the west, where the Silver Desert lay. And the faithful were filled with wonder and trepidation, for many strange tales were told of this place.
16: But when her faithful did not at once start moving, she spoke again to clarify her intent: That means get the fuck away from my monument and stop creating an international clusterfuck in my city, in case you were wondering.
1. Now ESPER appeared unto Eligos, and spake: Thou hast worshipped the false idols of the ENEMY, and thus committed a grave sin.
2. But I am merciful in victory. Cast off thy graven images and kneel down in repentance, and I shall spare thee and all those who follow thee from mine wrath.
3. And Eligos fell to his knees in supplication, and cast off his mask, and cried out: Blessed ESPER, merciful thou art indeed! I reject the ENEMY and all his works, and will be thy faithful servant evermore!
4. And ESPER was pleased.
5. She spake: Get thee to the Bay of Brockton, and all those who would follow thee, and offer thine allegiance at the site of the first victory.
6. And I will make of thee a great faction, and I will bless thee, and make thy name great.
7. And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him who curseth thee.
8. So Eligos departed, as ESPER had spoken unto him, and Ala and Ahrima and Amaymon went with him.
9. And Eligos took three out of ten among the unpowered, and all their substance that they had gathered; and they went forth to go into the Bay of Brockton.
10. But there remained those among the Fallen who heeded not the word of ESPER, and remained true to the ENEMY.
11. And so those unredeemed called upon Valefor, whose gaze holds dominion over all those he turneth it upon, and Valefor went forth to halt their exodus.
12. And it came to pass that Valefor fell upon Eligos, and Ala, and Ahrima, and Amaymon, and fastened them beneath his gaze.
13. And he said unto them: Mama is sore displeased with thee, and commands thy return forthwith.
14. But Eligos remained firm of will, and spake: Though thou mayest hold mine body in thrall, my heart and soul will forevermore belong to ESPER. Even should I be struck down by thee, I will never succumb, and never again abet the ENEMY.
15. And Valefor found his heart moved, and cried out: I cannot! For although thou art a heretic and traitor, thou art foremost mine brother, and I cannot strike thee down. Get thee hence, and let not the others catch thee.
16. And so Valefor averted his dread gaze, and the faithful continued their journey toward the Bay of Brockton.
(...)
Esper 3
1. But though they had at last secured the monument of first victory, they could not rest.
2. For the word of ESPER had not spread far, and so they were assailed on all sides by false heroes, who did not hold to the faith and thus unknowingly performed the work of the ENEMY.
3. And though Ala was sore wounded she held the line with her darkness and lightnings, and Eligos turned his blades upon all who came near, and Amaymon stole away the fell powers of the false heroes, and the wisdom of Ahrima did ever guide their blows.
3. But then in their hour of extremity did ESPER appear before them, and she spake: The fuck do you retards think you're doing?
4. And the glory of ESPER was such that the faithless did cease in their attacks, and the faithful threw themselves down in worship and proclaimed their fealty.
5. But though she had heeded their prayers, ESPER was still wroth. And in her wrath, she spake: Are you trying to attract cruise missiles? Because this shit is how you attract fucking cruise missiles. Do you have any idea how many governments you're pissing off right now?
6. Yeah, you'd better bow down and worship me, because I'm saving your dumb useless lives.
7. And ESPER turned her eyes upon each of her faithful in turn, and they all quailed beneath her gaze as it pierced their very souls. She spake: Blaster. Shaker. Trump. Thinker. And a passel of mortals.
8. I could shoot each of you with a pawnshop handgun, and you'd every one of you die. And you're trying to go up against the majority of the world's military- hey!
9. You, yes you in the back with the dumb outfit. Don't think I don't see you writing down everything I say. And thus ESPER turned her visage towards her Chronicler, and spake unto him: I can see you unnecessarily capitalizing my name right there. You better not be putting words in my mouth.
10. And so her Chronicler swore to perfectly capture each word as it fell from her lips, and ESPER turned her attention to the powered faithful, and spake: Who's the leader of this clown show?
11. Eligos rose up in response, and ESPER looked upon his vestments and exclaimed: Seriously? I'd be a lot more flattered if you could even remotely pull off my costume.
12. New commandment: No one gets to cosplay as ESPER. Especially not men. How does stoning sound as a punishment? Yeah, you lot like that Old Testament shit don't you? Writing guy, take note.
13. And so was the first commandment of ESPER given, and it was thus: Thou shalt not imitate the vestments of ESPER, for her glory is hers alone. And those that trespass against her commandments shall suffer death by stoning.
14. And so Eligos hastily stripped out of his garments in shame, lest he suffer death by stoning, and ESPER spake once more: Where was I? Oh right. Awful cosplay leader guy, heed my words:
15: Lead my children to the desert. And she pointed her arm towards the west, where the Silver Desert lay. And the faithful were filled with wonder and trepidation, for many strange tales were told of this place.
16: But when her faithful did not at once start moving, she spoke again to clarify her intent: That means get the fuck away from my monument and stop creating an international clusterfuck in my city, in case you were wondering.
Okay, that was easy enough to resolve actually. Probably your favorite international incident so far, edging out the previous champion.
During one of your patrols you happen to spot parahuman in civvies, whose power you'll not forget anytime soon. You wonder if you should swoop down and confront her right away. It would be an act of aggression, outing her in public... but would it be undeserved? Would she come here, out of costume and unannounced, if she wasn't up to something sneaky? Well, maybe she would, if she wanted to make the pilgrimage without making a huge production of it.
All things considered, she does deserve the benefit of doubt. You'll have a minion discreetly invite her to a private meeting.
---
It's interesting that without her costume, she looks barely older than you (which means that she looks younger than you do right now, as Esper).
"Did you inherit the title when the previous Alexandria fell?" you ask, idly twirling your baton. "Or does your Brute rating repel Father Time as well?"
"The latter," she says curtly. She shows no reaction to you dispelling any doubt that you know who she is.
"Interesting," you say blandly. "So, what brings you to my city unannounced, library girl?"
She's too good to show any reaction at the nickname, either. "Your city, Changer?"
You are watching her Thinker power firing, of course, but without days of study you have no hope of deciphering what it's telling her. Not that you particularly care, it's quite weak. Good memory and an eye for detail, basically. Also, she's about to explain exactly what it's been telling her anyway, as a show of force. All you have to do is raise an eyebrow.
"Your face and body are subtly different from the last time I saw you, in ways that cannot be chalked up to a change in diet - or in your case, metabolism. And Panacea - who knows you personally - said 'she can fix the rest later' when she gave you your new body, but didn't make it match your old one. Though I notice you've kept most of the curves."
See? She explained everything. "Very good," you say. "Now, where were we? Oh yes, you were questioning my sovereignty."
Being Alexandria she is used to punching above her weight class in Thinker duels, by leveraging the implicit threat of her literally punching people if they get too clever. Esper, meanwhile, can revoke her powers at will. So because you do not fear her physically, you do not fear her mentally.
That's probably what her power is telling her right now. Yes, Alexandria's Thinker power, Esper's confident body language does indeed indicate that the power that killed Behemoth will work on you as well. Except in your case, one strike is all it would take to render you helpless. You spot just the tiniest hint of 'I fucked up' in her change of posture. But just the tiniest hint - she's determined not to show weakness.
"Last I checked this was still US soil, and as such under the jurisdiction of the Protectorate."
"Such is the polite fiction," you agree. "Are we being polite?"
"We're on the same side, are we not?"
"Hm. I admit I haven't studied the finer points diplomatic etiquette, but when one side opens by covertly bringing weapons of mass destruction onto what may or may not be foreign soil..."
"I... could politely leave?" she suggests, letting another hint of 'I fucked up' slip out. At this point it must be deliberate - but just because it's deliberate doesn't mean it's not sincere.
And you are on the same side, are you not? If not for her, you would be dead and Behemoth would be alive. Now if Eidolon had shown up...
Decision made, you call for a minion and give them instructions: "Please escort our honored guest out. Of the city."
Alexandria gives you a shallow bow, and meekly leaves. Huh. That was strangely anticlimactic for a meeting with the most (politically) powerful parahuman on the continent. Which is... good. You're new at the 'being sovereign' game, but international incidents being resolved anticlimactically strikes you as a good thing. The 'burn Washington to the ground' question is put off for another day.
All things considered, she does deserve the benefit of doubt. You'll have a minion discreetly invite her to a private meeting.
---
It's interesting that without her costume, she looks barely older than you (which means that she looks younger than you do right now, as Esper).
"Did you inherit the title when the previous Alexandria fell?" you ask, idly twirling your baton. "Or does your Brute rating repel Father Time as well?"
"The latter," she says curtly. She shows no reaction to you dispelling any doubt that you know who she is.
"Interesting," you say blandly. "So, what brings you to my city unannounced, library girl?"
She's too good to show any reaction at the nickname, either. "Your city, Changer?"
You are watching her Thinker power firing, of course, but without days of study you have no hope of deciphering what it's telling her. Not that you particularly care, it's quite weak. Good memory and an eye for detail, basically. Also, she's about to explain exactly what it's been telling her anyway, as a show of force. All you have to do is raise an eyebrow.
"Your face and body are subtly different from the last time I saw you, in ways that cannot be chalked up to a change in diet - or in your case, metabolism. And Panacea - who knows you personally - said 'she can fix the rest later' when she gave you your new body, but didn't make it match your old one. Though I notice you've kept most of the curves."
See? She explained everything. "Very good," you say. "Now, where were we? Oh yes, you were questioning my sovereignty."
Being Alexandria she is used to punching above her weight class in Thinker duels, by leveraging the implicit threat of her literally punching people if they get too clever. Esper, meanwhile, can revoke her powers at will. So because you do not fear her physically, you do not fear her mentally.
That's probably what her power is telling her right now. Yes, Alexandria's Thinker power, Esper's confident body language does indeed indicate that the power that killed Behemoth will work on you as well. Except in your case, one strike is all it would take to render you helpless. You spot just the tiniest hint of 'I fucked up' in her change of posture. But just the tiniest hint - she's determined not to show weakness.
"Last I checked this was still US soil, and as such under the jurisdiction of the Protectorate."
"Such is the polite fiction," you agree. "Are we being polite?"
"We're on the same side, are we not?"
"Hm. I admit I haven't studied the finer points diplomatic etiquette, but when one side opens by covertly bringing weapons of mass destruction onto what may or may not be foreign soil..."
"I... could politely leave?" she suggests, letting another hint of 'I fucked up' slip out. At this point it must be deliberate - but just because it's deliberate doesn't mean it's not sincere.
And you are on the same side, are you not? If not for her, you would be dead and Behemoth would be alive. Now if Eidolon had shown up...
Decision made, you call for a minion and give them instructions: "Please escort our honored guest out. Of the city."
Alexandria gives you a shallow bow, and meekly leaves. Huh. That was strangely anticlimactic for a meeting with the most (politically) powerful parahuman on the continent. Which is... good. You're new at the 'being sovereign' game, but international incidents being resolved anticlimactically strikes you as a good thing. The 'burn Washington to the ground' question is put off for another day.
Dakkah
Know what you're doing yet?
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That plan might've hit a snag after she not only leveled at least one city, but then proceeded to declare herself the
zapking5
But I don't want to have a title!
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I don't think Alexandria knows that Poltergeist=Esper, and Esper hasn't openly declared herself as a sovereign either.
Whitesnake Pelinal
Like a dream without a dreamer
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Maybe she lied to Legend? Wouldn't be the first time. Sorta wonder if Project Parahuman Feudalism is a go again.
queermunist
Cummunism Will Win!
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Alexandria was staying away from Esper.
The civilian head of the PRT was just visiting the city.
Totally unrelated.
Dread Pirate Gilligan
Getting out there.
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Not even that. She went as a totally normal teenage girl. The civilian head of the PRT involves a lot of makeup and disguise work to
I get the same feeling there, but... I am pretty sure this is highlighting how the crazies moved in while she was walking back from China and formed a religion around her in-absentee.
ses
Experienced.
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The framing device was fun but it kinda skips over all the parts I was looking forward to seeing. Maybe I'm just too low int but it skips over all the explanation of what happened right? Would at least like to know where they were and what was happening at the start of the Book of Esper exerpt.
Kennethil
I trust you know where the happy button is?
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I think Eligos and a bunch of other Fallen basically (invented and) converted to Esperism after she killed Behemoth. It's somewhat understandable that at least some Endbringer cultists would: if you start worshipping something because of its unmatched destructive power, destroying it would let someone usurp the position quite logically.
Eligos either made up Esper commanding the pilgrimage to gather followers, or was bamboozled by Contessa employing a cape to fake a vision.
So they went on pilgrimage to Brockton Bay.
What I remain confused about, however, is what Taylor means by
Why would any government but the US one be concerned, here? I guess maybe because of the international tourists? That's the only guess I've got.
Also, what's the point of sending them to the desert?
Dakkah
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Probably a combination of getting them out of sight for a bit while also reinforcing her 'Divine image' (Instant 5 day long Exodus.. Though likely that without her spell its just an "Gateway to infinity Desert" without the mandatory 5 day travel time. Still a hell of a flex)
Last edited:
Akuma-Heika
The Devil Exists Within
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...does she gather benefits from prayer? If yes, does she get benefits from other kinds of worship (sacrifices and death cults underworld benefits)?
I believe her power is based on the Eclipse (/their Anima Power) Caste Solar without the limitations (at least some of them), but whether that means she has the great curse, I am unsure...I feel like I asked (or someone else) in the early stages, but I cannot remember the answer. I believe it would be no though, since its a Shard imitating a Solar Keter soul rather than a cursed Keter soul.
...anyone else read this and though Muslim God, Zoroastrianism Satan, and Devilman?
Daniel Snuts
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Alexandria being Alexandria.
"I will not interfere."
"I will not interfere."
"I'm so clever."
Because Taylor was visibly a threat this time around she backed off, and survived.
It's meant to be clear from Esper's speech patterns that Esper 1 is 100% madey uppey, while Esper 3 actually happened.
Taylor won't be infiltrating the Fallen, because the Fallen are already infiltrating Taylor on their own initiative.
The tourists yes, but also a lot of people around the world get nervous when a bunch of villains try to stake a claim on the giant trove of Endbringer flesh that is also nuclear material. There are all kinds of treaties about that sort of thing.
Exalt instincts, mostly. Such deserts are meant to have your personal cult living there.
Edifier
Trusted within thoughts.
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Wooow. Wow. That means the fallen are doing an amazing job in infultrating Taylor.
By the way, because you spoilered the chapter the site doesn't count the words. And from that the chapter falls below 500 words meaning no one gets pinged said chapter.
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Dread Pirate Gilligan
Getting out there.
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...I don't know. I mean, I got notified at least. Perhaps it is because you aren't white enough and the system has learned to adapt to its new Crazed and Amoral Goddess...
Or, perhaps, you are too white thanks to the Goddess' favor now being upon BTTN...
Places cans of both black and white paint in his fallout shelter to cover all his bases... >_>