It had been seven years, and I still couldn't process the scale of it.
With the planet Naboo...
With the planet Naboo...
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9adam4 | 56 |
Ah, I sometimes forget that jedi 'negotiations' are just slang for 'mind control.'Qui-Gon leaned forward, and I felt his concentration focusing on the mind in front of him. I could feel the push as he said, "What will it take, to End This Blockade."
Ah, I sometimes forget that jedi 'negotiations' are just slang for 'mind control.'
Um... she's fourteen.Although, if he manages to seduce Padme, he could nix basically all of canon.
Well, that's legal in Germany and other parts of Europe.Um... she's fourteen.
I guess that could happen in the AotC time frame?
...yeah, that's a shame. Still, you're Jedi on official business, so you're free from prosecution.
So, question for readers.
Should I try to do more to fill in what Ben has done in preparation for upcoming events? Explain what he is planning and what he has set up to pull it off?
Or keep on with the way I'm telling it now, where the reader pretty much figures out what Ben prepared and is planning when it is revealed and used?
Bring enough money to buy him and Shmi and repair the hyperdrive. Remarkably simple fix for a whole shit ton of future problems."No, Master," I pressed. "I'm not going to kill Anakin Skywalker. I'm going to save him."
He shared info about future timeline events from what he remembers?! Wouldn't this be a blatant info security risk with Palpatine as a trusted advisor to her? I don't know if that wasn't considered, or Obi-adam already accounted for that issue somehow.**Query: share data?** I was honestly surprised that he bothered to ask, but it was nice to know he respected me at least that much.
"Go for it." I made it to the door just as Padme started gesturing to zoom in on different parts of the timeline. "Let me know later if you have any questions."
Sheev Palpatine, the Senator from Naboo? Sorry, was he important?He shared info about future timeline events from what he remembers?! Wouldn't this be a blatant info security risk with Palpatine as a trusted advisor to her?
Palpy is darth sidious, the jack-ass behind the galaxy going to shit.Sheev Palpatine, the Senator from Naboo? Sorry, was he important?
Palpy is darth sidious, the jack-ass behind the galaxy going to shit.
Keep going, I'm enjoying myself. I'd really like to see how he handles himself in a scrap. With Maul if he's available.How are we doing? Things are going to get pretty philosophical in the next few chapters. Are things making sense so far?
Ohoho, what is this? Explore this if you will."I didn't buy you because I intend to use you, Shmi," the words came out quick, maybe a bit harsher than I intended.
She looked at me then, eyes hurting. "Why not?" There was more ego in it that I expected from her.
Going Green, huh? Or possibly some other sect I guess, but the Correllians are probably best-known that would allow them to stay together."Your Master said that Anakin would be trained as a Jedi. That he would be a powerful Knight one day."
I nodded. "Both true. But not at the Temple." I looked sharply at her. "And certainly not away from his mother. More pain and loss is not what this boy needs in his life."
Yep, that's the Jedi way. Absolute detachment means not giving a shit when you have to kill someone."Captain Panaka says we can launch as soon as everyone is on board. Obiwan?"
"Yes, Master?"
"Don't let anger cloud your judgment."
"Never, Master. We will be back shortly." I ended the call. There was no wind to speak of, but I wrapped my sand guard around my lower face. Better not to be clearly seen.
Hence the title of the fic.Yep, that's the Jedi way. Absolute detachment means not giving a shit when you have to kill someone.
Okay, since you asked...I appreciate your criticism a great deal. All I can say is... I did not intend to imply that Obiwan "won the argument."
I did mean to imply that Obiwan sees it that way, but the audience is intended to look at Qui-Gon's responses and see "this didn't really convince him, but he is patient enough not to press where he doesn't see an opening."
Since this isn't what the text actually conveys, I may rewrite it. Please feel free to provide any other thoughts or ideas, particularly the sort of things you think Qui-Gon might say in this situation.
I tend to disagree. The description can be sparse, but I find the utilitarian style of writing in this story much preferrable to most fics that take their time going through the scenes. Rare is the fanfiction author who is both prolific and doesn't write in a way that either insults the reader's intelligence or wastes their time, or both. Frankly, a large problem with most fiction is that you can read half a sentence per paragraph, and not miss anything of substance.Needs more flavour and prose in scenes, describe tastes, sight, smells, facial expressions more.