Cooking Thread~ Recipes & Things

[Citrus]

I make a mean pancake(crepes to the uncultured) and here is my recipe, scaled according to how healthy you want to make it;
-1 dl of flour for every egg, double that for milk, add some salt and you've got your base, you can make pancakes out of this.
--Now add 1 teaspoon (5ml) of potato flour(/starch) for every egg to ensure the pancakes do not break when you flip them.
---Add some cinnamon(ceylon ideally) to get that nice "cooking pancake" smell going and add some ginger/cardamom to taste.
----Crush some flax seeds/pumpkin seeds to powder and add them to your batter, it adds some fiber and is good for you. Pumpkin seeds even make them taste sweeter.
-----If you want your pancakes to crunch a little bit when you bite them for some reason, add some chia/poppy seeds to your batter. It also adds some more fiber.
------Change out the flour for a gluten free variant, like chickpea/buckwheat flour. Compensate for the lack of gluten with more potato flour(/starch).
And that's it! You've got pancake batter now! All you gotta do now is spend the next hour frying it.
But this is a recipe so I'm gonna pretend you've already done that, so that bring us to condiments! What do you put on your pancakes(crepes)!
-Sweetener! WHY IS THIS UP HERE!? Some sweeteners are alright and are better than what's below. Some sweeteners (that cannot crystalize like sugar) come packaged dusted onto filler material such as maltodextrin. Maltodextrin has GI index median of 99, sugar is a straight 100. Maltodextrin can be worse than actual sugar depending on the person. Do not eat it if you're trying to be healthy.
--Sugar! Old classic, can't go wrong with it.
---Syrup! Another classic, Ideally maple syrup but if you're desperate any will do.
----Jam! You can change the fruit according to taste!
-----Chocolate! Just grate it over your pancake, can adjust the sweetness according to what kinda chocolate you like.
------Erythritol! A kind of sugar alcohol sweetener, that probably has no side effects at all! besides the laxative effect.
-------Xylitol! Like maple syrup, this stuff is made of tree blod! Unlike maple syrup, it's actually good for your teeth.
--------Butter! Just butter!
---------NOTHING! ONLY PANCAKE!

 

[Chibi-Reaper]

View: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/1ZCfvnt1EVk?feature=share

I might try this at some point, but with different beans.

 

[Somebody]

Microwave baked potato, why is this easier and faster than a normal baked potato?

What you need: A potato.

...no, that's about it. A microwave would also be nice to have.

How to make it: wash thoroughly, stab it with a fork about six or so times, then toss it in there for 10 minutes on high heat (or the potato setting, if your microwave has one of those), flipping once halfway through. Stab it with a knife to check for doneness—shouldn't feel any resistance. If it still feels a bit raw, toss it back in and blast it in 30 second bursts until your sadistic urges are satisfied.

I used two medium-sized potatoes, and they came out great. Super soft and tender, didn't need anything else—didn't bother with salt or butter. Took a bite and blacked out, next thing I know I'm looking down at an empty plate where there was once two potatoes and have a badly burnt tongue and mouth.

 

[gadrial]

Pumpkin Ricotta Cheesecake​

Ingredients

Crust

• 2 cups blanched almond flour
• 1 tbsp cinnamon
• 4 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
• ½ tsp liquid stevia (or ½ cup sugar)
• 1 egg
• ¼ tsp salt

Filling

• Approx 840g whole milk ricotta
• 2 15oz cans pumpkin puree
• 2 ½ tsp pumpkin spice blend
• 6 eggs
• 1 tsp vanilla extract (or 1 ½ cup brown sugar)
• 1 tsp liquid stevia (if using brown sugar, skip this)
• ½ tsp salt

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375°F (191°C)
2. In a medium bowl, combine almond flour, salt, and cinnamon. If you are using sugar, add it as well.
3. Add melted butter, and stir to combine.
4. Add egg and liquid stevia, and stir thoroughly. The texture you are looking for is similar to cookie dough.
5. Place the crust in a large cake pan, spreading it evenly to cover the bottom of the pan. You can use a normal cake pan or a springform pan. If you use a normal pan, you can line the pan with parchment paper for ease of removal.
6. Cook the crust for 15 minutes, then take it out of the oven to cool while you work on the filling
   
   
7. In a large bowl or stand mixer, add the ricotta, pumpkin puree, eggs, vanilla extract, and liquid stevia. If you are using brown sugar, add it with the dry ingredients
8. Stir the mixture until everything is thoroughly combined. If you are using a stand mixture, the whisk attachment is recommended here
9. Add your dry ingredients to the mixture and keep stirring until everything is combined. If you are using a stand mixer you will want to scrape down the sides frequently to make sure that nothing sticks to the sides of the bowl.
10. Once everything is combined, with no lumps remaining, add the mixture on top of your crust.
11. Bake your cake for 40-55 minutes, until it can pass the toothpick test. When it comes out of the oven, it will still be jiggly, this is normal, your cake will solidify and set as it cools.
12. Let your cake cool on the counter for 20 minutes, then place into the fridge to cool for 4 hours or overnight.
13. Top with whipped cream, ice cream, or enjoy it by itself.

 

[snthsnth]

I wish to hear more of this process over here.

Click to shrink...

Toasted Noodle Spaghetti

I make no claims to being an amazing chef, or to be great at describing exactly how I made this. I will instead be as comprehensive as possible. If I have made an obvious mistake, I will correct the post.

Spoiler: Basic Sauce

Easiest when done with leftover sauce, but doable with fresh. Make your preferred tomato sauce, I'm more of a 'by feel' chef. My usual is something like:

A medium white onion
Two Hot Italian sausages (mild is fine if you hate any spice)
A pound of ground beef
A jar of some tomato sauce (can be a premixed sauce, or just tomatoes if you spice it yourself)
A clove or two of garlic
Spices as desired (oregano, basil, bay leaf)

1. I bake the sausages in bulk on a tray, put then in freezer bags for later. Cut them into 1/8" to 1/4" circles. This is easier when they're frozen, but I have strong hands. Put aside for later.
2. Microwave a white onion for 0:30 to 1:30 to drop the tearing chems, then dice and fry it. I like my onions soft, so I cook them long.
3. Add the garlic towards the end of cooking the onion.
4. Throw in the beef and stir it until cooked. Leave the fat in or don't, I find it tasty.
5. Leave on a low heat, add in the sauce and sausage. Also the spices if desired.

Now onto the main thrust: we do the noodles. I have a pretty wide pan that can hold full length spaghetti, break them if they don't fit. You have to use a flat or round noodle, hollow and twisted ones don't really work with this technique. You want maximum contact between the noodle and the bottom of the pan.

1-4 tablespoons of butter
Spaghetti
Sauce
A medium mug of hot tap water for later

1. Toast the noodles: On medium heat, spread the butter around the pan, throw in the noodles, maximizing contact with the pan. All of them being parallel is ideal, but we can't be prefect. They'll start to change color and brown a bit, kinda like toast does. It takes a couple minutes, I do it by eye. Stir them around occasionally, they might stick to the pan a bit if you're using stainless steel, but it's not a big deal if you can break them loose. When I'm happy with the toasting I move on to:

2. Cook the noodles: Add the sauce directly to the pan, raise it to a light boil, and stir regularly. Don't let the sauce burn to the bottom of the pan, which is a risk when boiling a sauce. It will 'dry out' after a few minutes, depending on the water content of your sauce. It's a bit hard to describe, but the boil looks different when there's too little water in the sauce. You'll see the change in the way the bubbles show up at the top, and it will sound like frying when you expose the bottom to the air.

3. Keep the sauce wet: When the sauce has too little water, add roughly 1/4 cup of hot water to keep the sauce liquid enough to prevent burning. You'll need to do this once or twice. This will interrupt the boil somewhat, not a real problem Some of the water will be absorbed by the noodles, some will evaporate. It's not a big problem if you add a little too much, it just makes your noodles softer. Add less water next time.

4. Test the noodles: Take one out and bite it at about the 10 minute mark. If they're not done, test again every 3-5 minutes, add small amounts of water if needed.

5. Thicken the sauce: Once the noodles are finished, boil off the last of the excess water. If you've managed the water/noodle cooking ratio perfectly, the noodles will be ideally cooked at about the same time as the sauce is thickened. It is now ready to serve.

I'll often add an eighth to a quarter cup of heavy cream, a decent sprinkling of Parmesan, a spoonful of cream cheese, or all three to the finished dish. It may technically serve 2-4, but I usually finish it myself.

 

[Magos Eternal]

Got some easy recipes, these are the good old, Chuck it all in a cooking pot and leave it to cook/reduce and then freeze them for later.

Pasta Sauce
3 Medium Onions (roughly chopped)
2 Boxes of Tomato Passata
1 Tin of Chopped Tomatoes
1 Tbsp of Tomatoe Puree
1 Bottle of Red Wine (dont buy the cheapest there is, get like a £7 or £8)
3 tspn of Salt
1 tspn of Black Pepper
1 Tbsp of Olive Oil

Soften Onions in Oil until translucent do not brown
Once Onions are soft add all other ingredients
Cook until reduced by half
Blitz to remove chunks if you dont like them
Pour into Pots
Makes 11-12 Portions for easy freezing

I normally add a bunch of chilli flakes when im making my pasta to give it a kick.

 

[Magos Eternal]

Ingredients
1 Bag of Green Beans
2 Bags of Baby Sweetcorn
1/2 Bag of Carrot Batons
5 Chicken Breasts
2 Tins of Coconut Milk
Mae Ploy Green Thai Curry Paste
Oyster Sauce
Dark Soy Sauce
Fish Sauce
Table Spoon of Olive Oil
1 Tsp of MSG
--------
Prep
Wash Veg
Cut the ends off the Beans and then chop them in half
Cut the end off the Baby Sweetcorn and cut into inch chunks
Cut the Chicken into small chunks
--------
Cooking
Put two heaped Tablespoons of Curry paste into big pan
1 Table Spoon of Oil
2 Tea Spoons of Fish Sauce
2 Tea Spoons of Dark Soy Sauce
3 Tea Spoons of Oyster Sauce

Cook on lowest heat and mix.
Add the two cans of Coconut Milk and Mix
Add Veg, Chicken and MSG and set to Medium Heat, Put Lid on Stir Every now and then
Cook until the Chicken is done and Veg is soft
Makes about 8 Portions, serve with 1/2 of Instant pouch of Basmati Rice

 

[Magos Eternal]

Cornish Pie
2 Tins of Corn Beef
2 Rolls of Pastry
2 Onions
6 Potatoes
6 OXO Cubes
Salt
Pepper
Gravy Granules

Peel and Rough Chop 6 Potatoes
Peel and Fine Chop 2 Onions
Open 2 Tins of Corn Beef and cut into Quarters
2 OXO Cubes
1 Teaspoon of Salt
1 Teaspoon of White Pepper
Fill Pan with Water to cover the Veg
Cook until Potatoes are soft

Drain Water into another Pan for Gravy
Add 2 OXO Cubes
Add 1 Teaspoon of Salt
Add 1 Teaspoon of White Pepper
Add 1 Tablespoon of Gravy Granules
Mix

In Cornbeef Pan
Add 2 OXO Cubes
Add 1 Teaspoon of Salt
Add 1 Teaspoon of White Pepper
Mash the Cornbeef Mix

Roll out Pastry in to Dish
Add Cornbeef Mix
Bake in Oven at 220c for 30mins or longer if you like a crispier crust.
Makes 6 Portions

 

[snthsnth]

Gluten-Free Pizza

One I came across years ago when I had a North American Wheat allergy. Works pretty decently, texture isn't perfect but the taste is pretty good. First the crust.

Required:
Parchment paper
3/4 cup almond flour
1-1/2 cup densely packed shredded mozzarella cheese
1 egg

Optional:
Substitute up to 1/4 cup of mozza with a hard aged cheese like Aseago or Parmesan
2 tablespoons Cream Cheese
Pizza related spices

Toppings:
As desired, recommend some kind of tomato sauce with cured meats and mozzarella cheese

0. Preparation: Get a large baking pan, cover the bottom with parchment paper. Do not use Foil or a bare tray, it will stick. Set your oven to 400F/200C, don't worry if it's not fully heated.

1. Liquefy the cheese: Put all the cheese/s into a decently large glass bowl, microwave on high until the edges begin bubbling. Remove, stir (I use a butter knife), resume microwaving. Repeat until consistently melted.

2. Mix in the rest: Pour in the almond flour and any spices, and mix while it's hot. Mix it pretty quickly, it will begin to solidify as it cools, forming a bread like lump.

3. Making it into a crust: Wet your hands slightly to prevent sticking, then dump the lump onto the parchment papered tray. Spread the 'dough' out using your hands to your preferred thickness. I prefer to go to about 1/4" thick.

4. Bake the crust. Toss the baking sheet into the oven. It will be in there for 10-20 mins, depending on how heated the oven is. When the top starts to brown over 30-60% of the surface it's done.

5. Remove and decorate: Use your desired toppings and sauce. Pepperoni, Marshmallows, Toenail clippings, Scrongefloff, whatever your heart desires.

6. Cook the toppings: Put the topping laden pizza into the oven long enough to melt the cheese on top.

7. Rest the pizza: Remove the pizza from the oven, being sure to leave the oven on for an extra half hour even though you're sure you turned it off. Let the pizza rest for 5ish minutes so it doesn't disintegrate while you cut it. You can pull the pizza and parchment paper off the cooking tray and onto a cutting board at this point.