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Cosmos Quest (Naruto/Lupin III)

[4] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!

[Nope] Talk to Mom. She's not a ninja, but she is a former noblewoman; she has to know about this kind of thing, it's in her job description.

[5] Confront Fugaku. (What're you gonna tell him?)

-> [1] Claim to Fugaku that obviously, as a mere Yamanaka, we are not worthy of the Uchiha heir. Our own honorable father would not be so crass as to attempt such an underhanded method of betrothal, and it is frankly insulting. And in any case, he should know very well that the Yamanaka have their own weak eye techniques (pupilless eyes), and have no interest for the complications of trying to mix two doujutsu together.

-> [1] +1? Triple negative symphony of bullshit

-> [2] Emphasize we're interested in Sasuke as a future co-worker. That we know from studying older people that having certain kinds of relationship tension can be detrimental to the job, sometimes fatally so.
- > State quite strongly that we don't appreciate Fugaku's obvious reverse-psychology gambit, and he shouldn't be trying to set us up with his son.

-> [1] Paranoia-fuel pillow-note

[1] Fuck Fugaku; you know how marriages work - go talk to Mikoto. (And say what?)

[1] Talk to Weasel

Fugaku is in the lead.
 
Actually, I like that. I'm changing to:
[X] Confront Fugaku. (What're you gonna tell him?)
-> [X] Emphasize we're interested in Sasuke as a future co-worker. That we know from studying older people that having certain kinds of relationship tension can be detrimental to the job, sometimes fatally so.
- > State quite strongly that we don't appreciate Fugaku's obvious reverse-psychology gambit, and he shouldn't be trying to set us up with his son.
 
Are you guys sure about the no-fraternization angle you wanna take?

I'm just saying, unless you want to date non-shinobi exclusively, you're gonna make yourself a liar in about ten years, possibly sooner.
 
nightblade said:
Can't we explain we are not interested in sasuke.
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You're Lupin. You're interested in everybody.

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR, two websites and over a hundred story posts ago, TOO LATE TO CHANGE THAT NOW!
 
FurikoMaru said:
Are you guys sure about the no-fraternization angle you wanna take?

I'm just saying, unless you want to date non-shinobi exclusively, you're gonna make yourself a liar in about ten years, possibly sooner.
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Click to shrink...

Gimme a bit, I'll work into the line of bullshit I'm developing.
 
Vindictus said:
You're Lupin. You're interested in everybody.

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR, two websites and over a hundred story posts ago, TOO LATE TO CHANGE THAT NOW!
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Click to shrink...

GODDAMN IT, STOP MAKING ME WANT A CROSSOVER WITH SKILLFUL NINJA QUEST!
 
It's for the poor boy's own good. A shounen hero in a seinen setting is a patsy at best and third corpse from the left in Guts' birth scene at worst.
 
Hormones come later, and people won't be surprised when they make us liars. Whether we're lying to Fugaku about our interests or not, this seems the best way to make him back off.

That's what we want, right?

There's that little girl who's trying to get her claws into my boy. I'll just go over there and tell her she's not getting away with -

"Hey! I've heard what you've been saying about me, and it has to stop. Trying to set me up with your son at this age is just wrong, you dirty old man."

What.

On the other hand, I'm eagerly waiting to hear Hymn's take on this situation. Edit: Wow, Hymn's take is wordy.
 
H'okay, how's this line of bullshit?



[X] Confront Fugaku. (What're you gonna tell him?)

-[X] "Uchiha-sama, it is my desire to inform you that in all likelihood I am not at this time uninterested in purporting my lack of desire to be more than friends with a boy that I am led to believe is not an impostor of Uchiha Sasuke, as I am completely and utterly sincere when I say that I have no desire to enter an engagement that is not less intimate than what would not be considered appropriate for a pair of children who are only friends. I do not have any designs on the boy that nine out of ten prepubescent girls believe is your son," because some loon thinks Sasuke was immaculately conceived, "that involve not retaining a marital status unassociated with any particular individual."


[X] "I would not claim that the citizen known under the alias Ino Yamanaka is not often spotted in the company of the one believed to be Uchiha Sasuke because in unabashed truth is that the word on the street says that the two enjoy each other's company, although I would not venture to claim that on certain topics the rumor mill is not, in unambiguous terms, overinflated hogwash fresh from the mouth of the Tsuchikage, for as I am sure you are aware, it is not the iron clad belief of unnamed individuals that the Tsuchikage does not speak languages besides bullshit."


[X] "I would, however, probably be willing to speculate that perhaps two children not are making a study of police work, shop security, and ninja protocol as an extracurricular project for Ninja Academy, because not going above and beyond the call of duty is the Academy standard. After all, the Ninja Academy has no interest in preparing its students for grand larceny and absolutely does not endorse that the study of criminal behavior is an education best learned in a hands-on environment. The Konoha Ninja Academy most certainly would not claim that the best way to become an upstanding Konoha citizen is to make a deep, intensive study in how not to be an upstanding Konoha citizen. Yes, it is probably to the detriment of two students of the Ninja Academy that no such policies exist and that no authorization is given for such superb initiative and drive to succeed in the multi-faceted world of criminals an law enforcement, as untalented students could surely use an excuse to escape their crimes. It would be eminently logical to teach students who will be and who will not be future upholders of law and order the many ways said law and order can be subverted, for this would surely be a most educational program and bonding experience between friends. I cannot help but not weep a single tear in sympathy for the incorruptible pillars of the law, for whom the average person would be inclined to weep considerably more than a single tear."


[X] "But I promise you Uchiha-sama, that should my what is not at all what an unreasonable person would consider a romantic relationship with a certain dark haired individual individual, said dark haired individual will never got caught, and it is another individual's hope that their relationship does not appear to prosper most fruitfully to onlookers, as one individual probably has no wish to impose upon the other individual to rearrange some paperwork to give the appearance of a clean criminal record. For as I believe certain individuals are aware, if no record of a crime exists, then clearly no crime was committed. Which is very good indeed, as these theoretical two individuals may not wish to be too closely associated in case something utterly bizarre happens, like one upstanding citizen being accused of committed numerous non-existent petty crimes in their youth."

[X] "I hope we have reached an understanding? Does anything need to be....clarified?"





EDIT: @useless: I did declare earlier that I was interested in writing circuitous logic that basically admits to the intent to be a criminal, corrupt Sasuke, but not marry him. At this time.
 
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[X] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!
 
[X] Hymn's walla text.

Gonna be honest. I didn't read it. But it seems like effort went into it anyway. It's the public-school-essay-grading style of vote selection.
 
[X] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!
 
Is it just me, or is it chilly in here? Brrr.

Eh, was a fun little exercise in doublespeak.
 
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[X] Talk to Mom. She's not a ninja, but she is a former noblewoman; she has to know about this kind of thing, it's in her job description.
 
[6] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!

[1] Talk to Mom. She's not a ninja, but she is a former noblewoman; she has to know about this kind of thing, it's in her job description.

[8] Confront Fugaku. (What're you gonna tell him?)

-> [1] Claim to Fugaku that obviously, as a mere Yamanaka, we are not worthy of the Uchiha heir. Our own honorable father would not be so crass as to attempt such an underhanded method of betrothal, and it is frankly insulting. And in any case, he should know very well that the Yamanaka have their own weak eye techniques (pupilless eyes), and have no interest for the complications of trying to mix two doujutsu together.

-> [3] Emphasize we're interested in Sasuke as a future co-worker. That we know from studying older people that having certain kinds of relationship tension can be detrimental to the job, sometimes fatally so.
- > State quite strongly that we don't appreciate Fugaku's obvious reverse-psychology gambit, and he shouldn't be trying to set us up with his son.

-> [1] Paranoia-fuel pillow-note

-> [3] Plan Hymn, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul LoN-sama be amused by your antics and grant you victory

[1] Fuck Fugaku; you know how marriages work - go talk to Mikoto. (And say what?)

[1] Talk to Weasel

Fugaku solidly in the lead now; anyone wanna jump ship or come up with a write-in of their own?
 
Wellllll.... there's always the fishy plan...

[fish] DO ALL THE THINGS.. .ALL OF THEM.

Plus, I'd vote for dad anyway, and that's not going to win.
 
Also, pretty sure only two people voted for my plan if you count me. Just to be fair about this.
 
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There was a provisional vote earlier; I bundled it with the official votes to save time.

And what makes you say that Dad can't win? It's only two points away from a tie.
 
[X] Plan Hymn
Edit: hands up if you anticipate train wreck.
 
I'm not seeing the provisional vote.
 
Hymn proposed the outline of the plan, and then Guile said he could go for that.

Hm. Should I count it separately, seeing as he still has a write-in in the running?
 
Yeeeeeah, I'll be honest, Furiko's got my biting my nails now. My idea banks heavily, really heavily, on the Uchiha having enough of a soft spot for refuge in audacity to be amused by us essentially heavily implying to casing joints, corrupting Sasuke, and potentially planning how to remove evidence.

If Fugaku's the type to think this is funny, he might actually wish we were planning on courting Sasuke. If he's not....well, even with no technical confession he can follow up on suspicions if he decides he wants us miserable. Even the tone of the story, I'm hoping for shenanigans instead of srs bsnss. it is pretty much in Furiko's hands though.



And yeah, if Guile didn't confirm the vote for my plan, keep him with his original. It's only fair.
 
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Noted. Change made below:

[6] First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!

[1] Talk to Mom. She's not a ninja, but she is a former noblewoman; she has to know about this kind of thing, it's in her job description.

[8] Confront Fugaku. (What're you gonna tell him?)

-> [1] Claim to Fugaku that obviously, as a mere Yamanaka, we are not worthy of the Uchiha heir. Our own honorable father would not be so crass as to attempt such an underhanded method of betrothal, and it is frankly insulting. And in any case, he should know very well that the Yamanaka have their own weak eye techniques (pupilless eyes), and have no interest for the complications of trying to mix two doujutsu together.

-> [3] Emphasize we're interested in Sasuke as a future co-worker. That we know from studying older people that having certain kinds of relationship tension can be detrimental to the job, sometimes fatally so.
- > State quite strongly that we don't appreciate Fugaku's obvious reverse-psychology gambit, and he shouldn't be trying to set us up with his son.

-> [1] Paranoia-fuel pillow-note

-> [3] Plan Hymn, and may the Lord have mercy on your soul LoN-sama be amused by your antics and grant you victory

[1] Fuck Fugaku; you know how marriages work - go talk to Mikoto. (And say what?)

[1] Talk to Weasel

[1] Plan Fishie
 
Hymn of Ragnarok said:
Yeeeeeah, I'll be honest, Furiko's got my biting my nails now. My idea banks heavily, really heavily, on the Uchiha having enough of a soft spot for refuge in audacity to be amused by us essentially heavily implying to casing joints, corrupting Sasuke, and potentially planning how to remove evidence.

If Fugaku's the type to think this is funny, he might actually wish we were planning on courting Sasuke. If he's not....well, even with no technical confession he can follow up on suspicions if he decides he wants us miserable. Even the tone of the story, I'm hoping for shenanigans instead of srs bsnss. it is pretty much in Furiko's hands though.

And yeah, if Guile didn't confirm the vote for my plan, keep him with his original. It's only fair.
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I think a bigger issue is his pride. He might well be insulted just by the fact that we think we can take up his time on our terms; Let alone all the things we're implying about his (lack of) ability by implying all those ways we're defying his authority. I've honestly never seen a characterization of him that took even perceived insults well. I'm just voting for your plan because too many people want to talk to him and if we're doing this anyway, then it might as well be an amusing train wreck.

On reflection, given that one of the Uchiha complaints in canon was that the police were a paper tiger with no real power, it might not be best to openly twist the wound by flaunting how little we respect his organization quite that openly.

[X]First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!
 
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thisisinsane said:
I think a bigger issue is his pride. He might well be insulted just by the fact that we think we can take up his time on our terms; Let alone all the things we're implying about his (lack of) ability by implying all those ways we're defying his authority. I've honestly never seen a characterization of him that took even perceived insults well. I'm just voting for your plan because too many people want to talk to him and if we're doing this anyway, then it might as well be an amusing train wreck.

On reflection, given that one of the Uchiha complaints in canon was that the police were a paper tiger with no real power, it might not be best to openly twist the wound by flaunting how little we respect his organization quite that openly.

[X]First, you should establish whether or not your dad actually is trying to marry you off to Sasuke. Go bug him!
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Eh. Given the Uchiha are all apparently crooked, I have to wonder how much he really cares about our petty crime. His talk to Sasuke did not involve us having the biggest rap sheet of a clan heir and defying the authority or undermining the respect of the clan. He was worried about us being a gold digger.

Which does seem to suggest some things about his priorities. I mean, if he really cared about Sasuke associating with a hooligan, he had plenty of openings.
 
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Oooh, I can tie it up now...


[x] DAAAAAAAAAAD!
 
Oooooooooooooooh boy. I....really hope you voted for it because you think it'll work, and not because I wrote it. It is very much high risk, high reward.
 
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