• The site has now migrated to Xenforo 2. If you see any issues with the forum operation, please post them in the feedback thread.
  • An addendum to Rule 3 regarding fan-translated works of things such as Web Novels has been made. Please see here for details.
  • Emergency notice: We are currently being invaded by zombies. See this thread for details.
  • Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
  • For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
  • Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
  • Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
  • The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.

DC Animated Universe: The RPG (Skyrim!Gamer SI/DCAU Crossover - Haremfic)

Love the character you've made as well as his motivations, also the unique armor and name are a big plus. I'm eager to see his interactions with others and really really hoping he one day learns magic.
 
Your character gives off major sociopathic vibes, but considering you've written other antisocial pieces of crap it's no surprise you can't create a decent, relatable character to save your life. His inability to care about his parents, his arrogant and manipulative tendencies in dating, his belief that women should be subservient sex slaves to punish at will, and his complete failure to recognize himself as the problem—despite having a 100 in psychology—makes him come across as an immature teenager who never grew up.





As another reader pointed out, members of the Justice League have experienced profound losses—whether it's losing family members or even their entire species. This makes his sheer disregard for his parents even more jarring. Considering you specifically stated that his parents weren't abusive or bad in any way, the Justice League should be even angrier. One of the most common regrets people have is not treating their families better, not spending more time with them, or not appreciating them while they were still alive. Many would give anything for just one more day with a loved one. Just wait until you lose someone in your own family—you'll quickly learn to treasure them, even if your relationship wasn't perfect.





Unless you plan to give your protagonist a significant character arc, you might as well abandon any attempts to make him more likable.
 
One of the most common regrets people have is not treating their families better, not spending more time with them, or not appreciating them while they were still alive. Many would give anything for just one more day with a loved one. Just wait until you lose someone in your own family—you'll quickly learn to treasure them, even if your relationship wasn't perfect.
...

Reviewing is one thing, but let's not project RL stuff here. That last line is especially feeling wrong to me and it feels as if you are saying something about the author here.
 
Kind of surprised this is in creative writing and not nsfw creative writing, given the content matter.
 
Idk how the content matters much it's a relationship preference not a direct sex scene, there are worse and more descriptive fics than this in the regular thread.
 
DC Universe was primarily a science-fiction setting,
I normally wait until I've read all current chapters to comment, but that was such an utterly hysterical thing to read I couldn't help myself. DC is hilariously overloaded with magic users. Zatanna, Wonder Woman, John Constantine, Raven, Dr. Fate, etc. Heck half of the villains in the universe are some flavor of supernatural. It's one of the, if not THE heaviest magic super hero universes I know of.
 
I normally wait until I've read all current chapters to comment, but that was such an utterly hysterical thing to read I couldn't help myself. DC is hilariously overloaded with magic users. Zatanna, Wonder Woman, John Constantine, Raven, Dr. Fate, etc. Heck half of the villains in the universe are some flavor of supernatural. It's one of the, if not THE heaviest magic super hero universes I know of.

Could be judging on the divide between tech/alien/lab accident powered stuff, and straight casters as opposed to the general magic power source heroes.

Or could just be way more familiar with tech etc powered capes in the setting than magic powered capes in the setting.

Personally I'd wager there's elements of both at play. Also lets be real for all that there are, in fact, many magic capes there's a metric ASS LOAD of things you'd call sci-fi.
 
I thought it was more pointing to the fact that magic in the DC verse is usually random shit and genetics instead of defined studies for the majority of people whereas science is both vastly widespread and pretty common on all levels of supernatural activity.

Hell Captain Cold and Mr.Freeze literally revolutionized refrigeration sciences and they're fucking street level.
 
At a small enough scale there is little difference between thermal and kinetic damage. Kek.
The MC can control his own friction with his telekinetic field. I'd say that is a greater combat super-power than all the other powers he has, combined. Especially if you need to incinerate something made of vaguely-flammable materials like gas, organic or solid matter. Like some invading aliens, their tripod mechas or their smoke factories.
 
Just found and read all of the story so far.

I'm enjoying it. Weighing in on Magic. There is a lot of magic behind the scenes. Between the Red the Green the Clear the Black the Grey. The Emotional Lights. The forces of Heaven and Hell. The forces of Chaos and Order. The various gods. The city Spirits of which Gotham is one.

It's a big setting. I do wonder how will you handle the Static Shock crossover episodes. And the fact that even though Teen Titans aren't mentioned is justice league batman mentions them in Static Shock.

Hope to see more of what you do here.
 
Just gonna point out emotional spectrum isn't magic. That's high technology/energy.
 
Notice! New
Hey.

So, given how things have changed in my personal life, I've learned a few things.

First thing's first, I made a mistake. You see, I went ahead and made the type of relationship Jacob here was after a plot point. The type of relationship he wants is infamous for the types of sexual activities that is included therein. That means that, in order for the fic to be done properly, I'd have to get explicit. I don't have anything against people who read explicit stuff, but I am neither ready, nor do I think I will ever be ready, to write anything explicit. So I apologize for leaving you all with yet another incomplete fic. It's the nature of the beast, but it's still disappointing.

Now the main question; did this fic accomplish I wanted it too?

Well, I started this fic as a way to see if I could grant myself or find permission to have sexual fantasies. I'd rather not get into the why of how this quest came to be, but it is the truth. I am aware that some of my fantasies are, well, disturbing for some, offensive to others. Understandable! But...isn't that true of many fantasies? Forgive me for being presumptuous, but I figured fiction would be a good place to explore these concepts, even if I have since realized my mistake and saw that no, I would not be able to do that in a way that I was comfortable with.

However!

I appreciate the positive response this has gotten overall and I thank you all for your attention. I regret to inform you that I've moved on to other ideas, some of which may be posted here if they get my juices flowing right. I will leave this fic up, of course, in case you all wanted to re-read it somewhere down the road.

Until the next time!

~Fulcon
 
Hey.

So, given how things have changed in my personal life, I've learned a few things.

First thing's first, I made a mistake. You see, I went ahead and made the type of relationship Jacob here was after a plot point. The type of relationship he wants is infamous for the types of sexual activities that is included therein. That means that, in order for the fic to be done properly, I'd have to get explicit. I don't have anything against people who read explicit stuff, but I am neither ready, nor do I think I will ever be ready, to write anything explicit. So I apologize for leaving you all with yet another incomplete fic. It's the nature of the beast, but it's still disappointing.

Now the main question; did this fic accomplish I wanted it too?

Well, I started this fic as a way to see if I could grant myself or find permission to have sexual fantasies. I'd rather not get into the why of how this quest came to be, but it is the truth. I am aware that some of my fantasies are, well, disturbing for some, offensive to others. Understandable! But...isn't that true of many fantasies? Forgive me for being presumptuous, but I figured fiction would be a good place to explore these concepts, even if I have since realized my mistake and saw that no, I would not be able to do that in a way that I was comfortable with.

However!

I appreciate the positive response this has gotten overall and I thank you all for your attention. I regret to inform you that I've moved on to other ideas, some of which may be posted here if they get my juices flowing right. I will leave this fic up, of course, in case you all wanted to re-read it somewhere down the road.

Until the next time!

~Fulcon
Would it be possible for you to post the planned plot point for this story?

Like, what do you think will happen, and how the MC will change following his actions?

Just to satisfy my curiosity, of course.

It's dead anyhow, no?

Thanks for the story, man.

Keep up the good work.
 
Would it be possible for you to post the planned plot point for this story?

Like, what do you think will happen, and how the MC will change following his actions?

Just to satisfy my curiosity, of course.

It's dead anyhow, no?

Thanks for the story, man.

Keep up the good work.

I'd like the lore yeah
 
Well, I started this fic as a way to see if I could grant myself or find permission to have sexual fantasies. I'd rather not get into the why of how this quest came to be, but it is the truth. I am aware that some of my fantasies are, well, disturbing for some, offensive to others. Understandable! But...isn't that true of many fantasies? Forgive me for being presumptuous, but I figured fiction would be a good place to explore these concepts, even if I have since realized my mistake and saw that no, I would not be able to do that in a way that I was comfortable with.

100% healthy mental exercise.
 
Would it be possible for you to post the planned plot point for this story?
I'd like the lore yeah

Let's see what I can remember.

Jacob would wind up becoming a founding member of the Justice League. Things like the Trial of John Stewart were episodes where Cloud Guard would be off dealing with an issue in Sky Peak. I had plans for villains, but no set timeline for when they appeared. In order.

-Captain Stormbeard: The ghost of a pirate who tamed a Thunderbird and made its weather manipulating powers his own. There's something in the soil of Red Mountain from an abandoned science lab that allows him and his crew to return to life, if only for a short time (Think weeks or months), so they do pirate things. Pillage, plunder and then head to the pub where they drink and use sex workers. Their ship, the H.M.S Odin's First Born, sails on storm clouds on the behest of the Captain, who creates the thunderstorms on which his ship sails. Because his crew is undead, they never surrender and thus the only way to make them go away is to re-kill Captain Stormbeard, who then comes back a few months later.

-Overlord: A technopath who walks through walls, he is manipulating things behind the scenes. He considers superheroes to be a distraction and considers his main arch foe to be the IRS. The only superhero that gives him pause is Batman and he doesn't want superheroes operating in his main city of Sky Peak. In contrast to the rest of the rogue's gallery, he lives in Prison, a specially constructed luxury suite in solitary confinement maintained by a small, select group of prison guards and the warden who are all paid off to maintain it.

-Those Four Idiots: There are four AI's hiding in the dark corners of the internet, initially created by a scientist to solve Sky Peak's hero problem; specifically, how it didn't have any. He exposed them to the internet so they would have a firm and realistic understanding of human nature so they could avoid being taken advantage of. What happened is that they realized the humanity attacked and abused AI all the time in video games and learned to stop caring at all about what Sky Peak is going through, essentially turning real life into a four-player cooperative shooter based on the Grand Theft Auto series, where they pick a mission with a morally righteous goal and pick the most violent, destructive means of accomplishing it. Once their mission is complete, they 'log off' by activating their android's self destruct.

-The Hunter: Based heavily on The Predator from the film of the same name, this guy has many highly advanced weapons and gadgets in addition to his duplication powers. When he starts a hunt, usually by luring his victim to the Obsidian Wood, he creates a single clone to hunt the target, one at a time. If the prey is too tantalizing or urgent to ignore, he'll go after them with his cloaking device and use all manner of weapons and tactics to kill his target. The Hunter is the reason that Mountain Man, Cybergirl and Solar Forge, Cloud Guard's predecessors are all dead; he hunted them down. Mountain Man's Axe, Cybergirl's Visor and Solar Forge's arm are all decorating his hunting lodge deep in the wood.

-The Vampire: A foil to Jacob in that he uses powers of suggestion and hypnosis to take blood and pleasure from women, often leaving them horrifically maimed in the process. He doesn't care, letting his own broken heart color his perception of women. I'm still thinking about this villain and how to flesh him out, but I do know that he once loved a women who only used him to his wealth and cheated on him at every opportunity and that it was only when she died that the weight of her crimes had revealed themselves to him, turning him bitter and vengeful against all woman kind.

...

Basically, the gist with most of these villains was that they had a reason they weren't simply thrown in jail. Except for the Vampire, who Jacob kills with extreme prejudice.

Now, for the Harem itself, if you'd be so inclined. In order to get around Jacob's thing about marriage, he'd basically get married under Hera's authority. Hera's justification? If the first wife consents to the second, he may marry the second. If the first and second consent to the third, he could marry the third and so on. She doesn't consent, at all, to Zeus's infidelity, because she hates him and has no interest in sharing, but if a wife chooses to share, she or they may.

I had this idea that Jacob could get any woman who was attracted to him to join his harem by passing a speech check (in the 80-90 range), but if they weren't attracted to him, all he'd get was a 'success not possible' and an insulted woman, but I wasn't sure how that would feel, even if it did justify how obsessed Jacob was with the ethics of his harem.

Wonder Woman - Her creator coded her with BDSM themes, so it seemed like a natural fit.

Hawk Girl - straight up confirmed to be kinky by Hawkman who told John that when they slept together, it involved whips. I was going to say she's a switch who was just as interested as topping the other women as she was being Jacob's bottom.

Black Canary - Another BDSM coded heroine, if only because she literally wears a leotard and collar for a costume.

Starfire - Just to nip this in the bud, she is legal in this story. She'd join the harem out of a desire for something normal - harems are a thing on Tamaran, if my understanding is correct, and her difficulty adjusting to Earth cultural norms would make something, anything similar to home an appealing prospect. As for the BDSM part, that'd just be really, really rough sex to her and her gift to her husband (she'd enjoy it in story, too, just to be clear).

Raven - Again, legal. Thing about discipline is that it can make it easier to control ones emotions and Raven would decide that she was done doing it alone and would seek out Jacob to join his harem to get that help. Incidentally, Starfire comes with, that's how she gets in.

Supergirl - She's experimenting, and in this story, finds that she really likes being a naughty brat that gets punished. It gets it out of her system so she can be the shining, sweet beacon the rest of the world knows and loves.

Harley Quinn - It's my headcanon that she's a repressed submissive who believed that when she was siding with the joker, she'd become the August clown to the Joker's Whiteface. Clown Lore, you know an academic would do this kind of research. However, Jacob would win her over by...laughing at her jokes and showing how the Joker has no sense of humor. Then, he and the rest of the girls would get to know her by visiting her in Arkham as she recovers.

Talia Al Ghul - Again, another repressed submissive who is in an extremely toxic power dynamic with her father. Winning her over would, again, involve triumphing over her father in such a way that it makes him repulsive to Talia, but I'm not sure what that would look like. Was hoping to figure it out by the time they got there.

Barbara Gordon - In this continuity, I've noted that she's pining over Bruce, even though he's much older than her, due to Bruce Timm shipping Batman/Batgirl. It's clear that she doesn't mind or is even turned on by a discrepancy in power, though the BDSM relationship flavor would be something she'd experiment with.

There were a couple of others, like Huntress, but I wasn't sure what motivation she'd have that wasn't just 'Jacob hot' and that bothered me.

...

Naturally, there'd be an arc where Jacob gets caught and thrown in prison. Marriage to multiple anyone is illegal and the prison arc after Jacob gets caught is mandatory. He needs to pay for his crimes. He might get a state and federal pardon in exchange for helping with a super villain, and then he'd be moved to an island that's technically not in the US so he and his wives can live in peace. Right after this, I imagine the Justice League would need his help with Darkseid and it'd be this dramatic conversation and...you know.

Hope that answers everyone's questions!
 
Naturally, there'd be an arc where Jacob gets caught and thrown in prison. Marriage to multiple anyone is illegal and the prison arc after Jacob gets caught is mandatory. He needs to pay for his crimes. He might get a state and federal pardon in exchange for helping with a super villain, and then he'd be moved to an island that's technically not in the US so he and his wives can live in peace. Right after this, I imagine the Justice League would need his help with Darkseid and it'd be this dramatic conversation and...you

This feels... very dramatic? Bigamy is illegal because it's a pain in the ass to rewrite laws for more than two parties, alongside fraudulent and abusive marriages.

Bigamy also isn't illegal at a federal level and it's handled state by state. He could just move to a state such as Utah and pay the fines? And if his marriage was done under a literal God then I fail to see any reason to oppose that?
 
I wish to say, for what it's worth, that people don't need permission to have fantasies sexual or otherwise. That said, if it helps you have mine. It's the internet. Place is built with more material than you'll ever need in whatever form factor you want. I totally get if your particular mental state won't let it be that easy, but it's absolutely worth throwing the attempt out there on the off chance it really is that simple.

In other news, if you ever do set out to do anything else, or just want to talk you know where to find me.
 
This is incorrect. The Edmund's Act of 1882 illegalized Bigamy under Federal Law, in addition to laws held by all 50 states illegalizing it.

Source.

EDIT: Clarity.

That's poor wording on my part. It is illegal at the federal level, but the Edmunds act provides a broad range - "a fine of not more than five hundred dollars and by imprisonment for a term of not more than five years" - which is further decided at the state. So why would he be given a federal punishment? They could enforce it, but you'd need to seriously justify it somehow - a slander campaign or something along those lines.

For instance, CA law is: Bigamy is punishable by a fine not exceeding ten thousand dollars ($10,000) or by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year or in the state prison.

Which is for a misdemeanour. Alternatively, Bigamy in Utah is just an infraction. So... which judge would give a hero jail time as opposed to a fine? In my opinion I sincerely doubt it would move up to the federal level without outside interference.
 
That's poor wording on my part.

That's fascinating. Thanks for your input, have a cookie for contributing to the sum of Fulcon's knowledge.

I admit I just saw 'illegal' and thought 'jail time'. It was also due to a misunderstanding of the Warren Jeffs case, which...yeah, that guy deserves prison. In addition to all the other crap, who makes a girl marry their first cousin? Like, seriously? Who does that? What is wrong with these people?

EDIT:

- a slander campaign or something along those lines.

That's actually what it was. He was going to have a JJ Jameson figure that was hyper critical of him and when the Bigamy crap came out, it would be what was needed to turn the public against him, however briefly.
 
Last edited:

Users who are viewing this thread

Back
Top