Mashadarof402
Well worn.
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Hmm, the first half of this chapter was a lot of tell rather than show. An outsiders narration rather than people's POV in the scene.
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Nice description, although I'm wondering if she's unbuttoning the top buttons of her shirt, why didn't she roll down her stockings? Is that something she considers more revealing/immodest?However, it was also a choice which had left her sweating profusely and panting heavily while wearing only a thin white blouse, her pleated gray Hogwarts uniform skirt, and a pair of black thigh-high stockings — woolen, in deference to the Scottish winter weather.
Is all this talk about how Harry is going to develop needed in the story now? It doesn't seem to serve any purpose, you could have left it at how Harry currently feels, and that would have let you greatly reduce the amount of narration, even more if you chose to show Harry's reactions to Abigail rather than just talk about them.
The rest of the Hermione scene works very well, however since this makes it clear she's aware of what's going on it raises the question of what Hermione was doing for the several hours there wasn't any spellfire going on, while Harry watched Abigail sleep?Sitting in her favorite chair on the Lair's library mezzanine, Hermione sat back from her reading for a moment to stretch. She could still hear the muted sounds of spellfire echoing down the tunnel from the shooting range where Harry was yet again working on his practical casting skills alongside Abigail.
Very hermione reaction, I wonder if a hypothetical comittee would be impressed by an encyclopedic knowledge of hundreds of variations of a spell, or for that matter if there's anything useful from learning so many variations of a spell?At the moment, Hermione was working through the first-year curriculum, spell by spell, and looking up any and every equivalent she could find within the wealth of written references Harry had managed to accumulate. Along the way, she had learned twenty-seven distinct divination spells designed to help search through written material within a specified spatial volume, each with its own advantages and disadvantages. Using those, she had managed to locate four-hundred and fifty-seven distinct spells designed to perform roughly the same function as the basic light spell — the first one they had learned during the previous year.
I get the point, but I think you're over doing it. If it's standard for a young wizard to eat a dozen plates of food in a meal, then even if Harry's eating binge at the start of First year was greater than normal it would not have been noticeable. If you cut it back to half or less, then given that 11 y/o would eat less than 16/17 y/o it becomes a lot more reasonable that harry's binge was noticed.So it was that a certain Ravenclaw student had just loaded down his plate with a third plateful of bacon and eggs — which as a young wizard, meant he was only about a quarter of the way through his meal
I'm glad she doesn't know him immediatly, that certainly helps explain him getting away with things for so long."Gilderoy Lockhart…" Amelia frowned, searching her memory, "the author?"
I take it that unlike fanon Flitwick never trained anyone in dueling and would make a terrible trainer if he tried, given that it took him that long to come up with that advice.The diminutive professor considered the question for a moment more. "I suppose you might try reducing your wand movements to a minimum, keep the necessary gestures as small as you can make them. The lion's share of inaccuracy with a wand comes from the wand movements themselves, after all. Oh, and start with piercing charms, they are an excellent way to practice getting your timing down — that final horizontal sweep is tricky to aim properly, and if you can get that right, other charms will be much simpler by comparison."
That seems unlikely. Unless this is a question that a normal wizard couldn't answer I'd expect given how common and basic the spell is, that the question was asked and answered many times. I can see Flitwick not knowing the answer without looking it up, and/or using it to teach Harry about developing an experiment protocol (think something like an Undergrad/High school science project, not a PHD thesis)"I… I'm not entirely certain," the small man frowned. "I was under the impression that it was a conjuration, but I don't know if anyone has asked that question before," Flitwick replied.
"Do you mind if I take a look at that?" came a question from someone sitting quietly at a desk near the door.
LOL!
Interesting. Not sure where this is going, but I'm looking forward to finding out.As he opened the door to his office and made his way to the attached apartment suite, Gilderoy shook his head, dismissing the thought. If it happened, he would just have to ensure he was ready to strike first — without hesitation — he'd only have one, narrow, window of opportunity.
He'd have to make it count.
That's all assuming that Harry's maturing at a rate that one-to-one corresponds with normal human maturation. (EDIT: And that you were sufficiently average in your own maturation.) In addition to that, as was mentioned multiple times in the chapter, Harry is only human shaped; when he turned into a pigeon, he was not attracted to other pigeons. So, due to species differences, Harry is much more likely, IMO, to experience Romantic Attraction than Sexual Attraction towards any of his Damsels, and the Romantic Attraction will almost definitely occur sooner.You said, "The fact remained, though, that Harry was not mature enough that the appealing sight of his older friend in her current state could command his undivided attention."
I spent some time this evening thinking about this and realized a couple of things: (1) at 11 & 12, I definitely wanted to snog the hell out of some girls I knew (and cared about).
(2) I knew that I very definitely felt something for them beyond friendship (though I was still working out that part) and (3) I knew that if they went out of my life, I would be very,
very sad. They did, and of course, I was. I had to spend several more years pinning down what-all girls really meant to me (beyond the carnal).
Even before you take into account that Harry isn't human, some people mature later than others. It is quite plausabile for an 11/12 y/o to not have figured out he wants to kiss girls.You said, "The fact remained, though, that Harry was not mature enough that the appealing sight of his older friend in her current state could command his undivided attention."
I spent some time this evening thinking about this and realized a couple of things: (1) at 11 & 12, I definitely wanted to snog the hell out of some girls I knew (and cared about).
(2) I knew that I very definitely felt something for them beyond friendship (though I was still working out that part) and (3) I knew that if they went out of my life, I would be very,
very sad. They did, and of course, I was. I had to spend several more years pinning down what-all girls really meant to me (beyond the carnal).
II spent some time this evening thinking about this and realized a couple of things: (1) at 11 & 12, I definitely wanted to snog the hell out of some girls I knew (and cared about).
(2) I knew that I very definitely felt something for them beyond friendship (though I was still working out that part) and (3) I knew that if they went out of my life, I would be very,
very sad. They did, and of course, I was. I had to spend several more years pinning down what-all girls really meant to me (beyond the carnal).
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Bear in mind that you grew up human, while this Harry is very distinctly not.
He is, at the end of the day, a member of a very alien species and his resulting physiological development (and the development of sexuality is very definitely a part of that) isn't the same as it would have been if he had remained a member of his birth species. His development happens in fairly-wide-spread bursts instead of steady progression of a human child, and may even be partially determined by how much magic he is exposed to - I'd had him undergoing significant growth spurts in reaction to releasing the major nodes, though whether Dunkelzahn will go with that one I of course couldn't say.
The way I read the scene is a pretty good expression of the stage I was at roundabout age nine, where I was just starting to register that there was some not-yet-defined something appealing there without having started to get a handle on what it was or what I wanted to do with it, or for that matter it having become prominent enough to really cement my focus onto it. That tallies pretty well with his physical size in all honesty. People often forget that James Potter was described as being quite tall.
The same applies to most mammals, so what? The more complex and long lived a creature, the longer it takes it to mature. This is why rabbits take 4-7 months to mature, while elephants and humans only reach sexual maturity in their teens, and generally don't have sex for several years after they are physically capable of it.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK - what I don't understand and what's not clear because this is a cross-over story, is just what rules govern Harry's development. Remember, on Earth, most reptiles are READY TO BREED at age
18 to 20 months (max.)
OK - what I don't understand and what's not clear because this is a cross-over story, is just what rules govern Harry's development. Remember, on Earth, most reptiles are READY TO BREED at age 18 to 20 months (max.) This story is going forward without the authorial editorialization that would describe the "background" of these damn dragons - and it leaves us wondering just what rules you're using to craft the story - because it looks like you're making it up as you go along. That would be fine, of course, but nothing is being explained and it leaves readers wondering _why_ you're doing what you're doing.
I'd note the amount of explanation already in the story has people commenting on it being a bit too muchWhat, you expect the first chapter to start with a massive infodump titled 'SPOILERS'? You're damn straight nothing is explained, even the cast themselves don't know the explanation yet.
What the hell does a reptile have to do with a creature made out of iron, hot-blooded to the point of 'hot enough to boil lead', and aptly described as 'a living blast furnace', whose body flat out doesn't run on the same laws of physics as the rest of the universe? Do you seriously think Snape's vernacular is anything more than a creative insult?
And hadn't you noticed the way that the cast - the protagonist included - learning about how the protagonist's body works is one of the core plotlines? What, you expect the first chapter to start with a massive infodump titled 'SPOILERS'? You're damn straight nothing is explained, even the cast themselves don't know the explanation yet.
Oh, and while I'm at it, why are you responding as if I'm the author? I abandoned this fic nearly ten years ago, and I couldn't explain the ins and outs of how the central character's body works if I wanted to - I could explain roughly how he worked in the original, but this is not that: Dunkelzahn has already made it quite clear he's running on a different ruleset to what I was working with. Hardly surprising; the original never actually got written down.
Nice description, although I'm wondering if she's unbuttoning the top buttons of her shirt, why didn't she roll down her stockings? Is that something she considers more revealing/immodest?
Is all this talk about how Harry is going to develop needed in the story now? It doesn't seem to serve any purpose, you could have left it at how Harry currently feels, and that would have let you greatly reduce the amount of narration, even more if you chose to show Harry's reactions to Abigail rather than just talk about them.
The rest of the Hermione scene works very well, however since this makes it clear she's aware of what's going on it raises the question of what Hermione was doing for the several hours there wasn't any spellfire going on, while Harry watched Abigail sleep?
I get the point, but I think you're over doing it. If it's standard for a young wizard to eat a dozen plates of food in a meal, then even if Harry's eating binge at the start of First year was greater than normal it would not have been noticeable. If you cut it back to half or less, then given that 11 y/o would eat less than 16/17 y/o it becomes a lot more reasonable that harry's binge was noticed.
I take it that unlike fanon Flitwick never trained anyone in dueling and would make a terrible trainer if he tried, given that it took him that long to come up with that advice.
That seems unlikely. Unless this is a question that a normal wizard couldn't answer I'd expect given how common and basic the spell is, that the question was asked and answered many times. I can see Flitwick not knowing the answer without looking it up, and/or using it to teach Harry about developing an experiment protocol (think something like an Undergrad/High school science project, not a PHD thesis)
Bear in mind that you grew up human, while this Harry is very distinctly not.
He is, at the end of the day, a member of a very alien species and his resulting physiological development (and the development of sexuality is very definitely a part of that) isn't the same as it would have been if he had remained a member of his birth species. His development happens in fairly-wide-spread bursts instead of steady progression of a human child, and may even be partially determined by how much magic he is exposed to - I'd had him undergoing significant growth spurts in reaction to releasing the major nodes, though whether Dunkelzahn will go with that one I of course couldn't say.
The way I read the scene is a pretty good expression of the stage I was at roundabout age nine, where I was just starting to register that there was some not-yet-defined something appealing there without having started to get a handle on what it was or what I wanted to do with it, or for that matter it having become prominent enough to really cement my focus onto it. That tallies pretty well with his physical size in all honesty. People often forget that James Potter was described as being quite tall.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OK - what I don't understand and what's not clear because this is a cross-over story, is just what rules govern Harry's development. Remember, on Earth, most reptiles are READY TO BREED at age
18 to 20 months (max.) This story is going forward without the authorial editorialization that would describe the "background" of these damn dragons - and it leaves us wondering just what rules you're using to craft the story - because it looks like you're making it up as you go along. That would be fine, of course, but nothing is being explained and it leaves readers wondering _why_ you're doing what you're doing.
The impression I had was that you were talking about modernish school skirts (knee/mid calf length), and the mention of a cardigan reinforced the idea of modern dress and sensibilities. If the Wizarding world had 17th century standards of dress and modesty then I'd be wondering why Abigail didn't take off her blouse (Although I'm not actually sure the lack of taboo about female breasts was true in 17th century england).Going back to the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries, revealing a bit of the decolletage would be much less immodest than showing too much leg.
I was asking about the way he will be developing in the future, not his current state of development.His state of development is pretty important for a number of reasons in the upcoming story
It makes perfect sense, I was mainly referencing all the super!harry stories that have Flitwick teach Hary to be an amazinf duelist in a couple of hours (okay over stating that, but not by much).Flitwick is an excellent teacher. Flitwick is an excellent duelist. Flitwick is not, however, an excellent teacher of dueling --- he doesn't do too much of it. It's not an uncommon failing among people who are really talented at something --- if you just get something, how do you figure out how to explain it to someone who doesn't? A lot of times the best teachers are those who had to work hard to understand the material.
The Wizarding world not knowing why spells work, is reasonable, you an even have them only have vague understanding of how they work, but given the scientific study of magic you've described for potions, Alchemy and rune work them not knowing what a basic and fairly common spell does seems unlikely.The snake-conjuring charm is one in a line of temporary animal conjurations, including the bird-conjuring charm among others --- the original may or may not have been a pony conjured by a young witch through accidental magic --- which bring an animal temporarily into being.
There is almost never an objective need to "inquire further", that doesn't stop humans from doing so, and given all the other scientific magic you have the lack of anyone doing so for this spell seems odd.There was no need to inquire further into their nature beyond dissecting them to attempt further modifications and development of the spell line.
(Although I'm not actually sure the lack of taboo about female breasts was true in 17th century england).
1)Victorian fashion has nothing to do with the discussion. Queen Victoria was a prude and as a result fashion and formal behavior during her reign (and due it's length after it) became much more prudish than before.A quick google of Victorian era fashion indicates that low necklines tended to be a thing. Square cut rather than V.
1)Victorian fashion has nothing to do with the discussion. Queen Victoria was a prude and as a result fashion and formal behavior during her reign (and due it's length after it) became much more prudish than before.
2)Formal fashion of any sort if not relevant to the discussion, the question is if 17th century English society had a taboo about a woman showing bare breasts like modern society does, or if they were more like their counterparts in central Europe.
Please tell me the third cross isn't NarutoThe critter then sticks around until the spell fails, at which point, it dissipates in a way essentially identical to all other conjurations --- a catastrophic loss of form and substance as it dissipates into a puff of rapidly dispersing magic.
Hey if you want to talk about useful spells - Remember there is a reference to miscasting a spell and summoning a livestock. Not creating, summoning to you.
Can we say free food?
It is the standard Hogwarts uniform skirt. I was just thinking out loud as it were, after you mentioned modesty as a potential reason for the choice.The impression I had was that you were talking about modernish school skirts (knee/mid calf length), and the mention of a cardigan reinforced the idea of modern dress and sensibilities. If the Wizarding world had 17th century standards of dress and modesty then I'd be wondering why Abigail didn't take off her blouse (Although I'm not actually sure the lack of taboo about female breasts was true in 17th century england).
I was asking about the way he will be developing in the future, not his current state of development.
It makes perfect sense, I was mainly referencing all the super!harry stories that have Flitwick teach Hary to be an amazinf duelist in a couple of hours (okay over stating that, but not by much).
The Wizarding world not knowing why spells work, is reasonable, you an even have them only have vague understanding of how they work, but given the scientific study of magic you've described for potions, Alchemy and rune work them not knowing what a basic and fairly common spell does seems unlikely.
There is almost never an objective need to "inquire further", that doesn't stop humans from doing so, and given all the other scientific magic you have the lack of anyone doing so for this spell seems odd.
So Boruto then?It is the standard Hogwarts uniform skirt. I was just thinking out loud as it were, after you mentioned modesty as a potential reason for the choice.
As for the not inquiring further point, the issue was that there was no apparent question to ask. Wizards already had a perfectly good explanation of how the spell (and the rest of its development line) behaved --- it was a conjuration, and as far as they knew, it acted exactly like other conjurations --- so why would they think to look further into it trying to verify that it was, in fact a conjuration? Harry then --- in the unusual position of a person who could speak parseltongue (rare) faced with conjured snakes set on him by someone else who could not (exceptionally rare) --- came across new information which cast doubt on that earlier assumption (the supposedly conjured snakes could do something their conjurer had no way to instruct them how to do). Now they have a question to ask.
Imagine if you found a small creature walking by a pond. It looks like a duck, acts like a duck, sounds like a duck, some hunters killed a few and they tell you it even tastes like a duck, and so you could be reasonably assured that it is, in fact, a duck. An ornithologist might look into more detail and try to classify exactly what kind of duck it is, but there is no need for nor interest in verifying that it is in fact a duck rather than some other sort of animal in disguise just pretending to be a duck. Then, years down the road, some new situation came along, and the critter suddenly started climbing trees and storing nuts for the winter, now it's suddenly an interesting question to examine. Is it a duck that acts strangely sometimes? Is it a squirrel that for some reason likes to pretend to be a duck? If so, why does it taste like a duck, too? Is it some new manner of creature never before catalogued? Now there's information that doesn't fit the established understanding, so investigation ensues.
Before that new information came to light, there was no reason to challenge the earlier assumption that the snake summoning charm was simply a particular kind of conjuration. Now there is.
The third cross isn't Naruto.
Victorian means 19th century, NOT 17th century.When I say Victorian, I mean the era, which is circa 17th century.
It being acceptable to show cleavage in public, and it being acceptable under some circumstances to show bare breasts are two very different things, and I don't see why you believe that one being acceptable indicates anything about the other.And if people can walk around in dresses with a lot of cleavage on display whether in formal occasions or day to day life, then there wasn't a taboo against it.
As for the not inquiring further point, the issue was that there was no apparent question to ask.
"It's generally accepted to be a conjuration, but this new evidence makes me question that"Before that new information came to light, there was no reason to challenge the earlier assumption that the snake summoning charm was simply a particular kind of conjuration. Now there is.
I'm torn between being terrified of that crossover and morbid curiosity what Dunkelzahn would do with it.
"Never forget the wizard Baruffio, who said F instead of S and wound up with a buffalo on his chest," is more than a bit vague as to whether said buffalo is conjured or summoned. And, for that matter, what spell Baruffio was trying to cast in the first place.
Still, it might be worth testing-- if you can get a type of buffalo that's not an endangered species, and it's solid enough to stick around after eating, it could be beneficial to Harry to master that miscast spell.
In Harry Potter there never seems to be any lack of magic, it's just there for being used.She remembered Granny's words, "Don't use magic around the house, you might need it for something important!"
Also, in the UK and commonwealth, it is spelt aluminium, not aluminum.
Unlikely. Dunkelzahn is American; this is far from the only blatant Americanism in his version of the fic. The first one I noticed was use of the word 'fall' to describe autumn.Perhaps the Wizarding World is more respectful of the discoverer of aluminum than the UK. I mean it's not impossible.