Ralph Essen
Cherico
Connoisseur.
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- May 12, 2017
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Ralph Essen
We sailed slowly to port. I decided to give myself a promotion.
"This is Captain Essen, we are here on solar business."
I waited for the radio to get back to me.
"We're going through the messages, we will have people meet you. Anything to declare?"
"Magic users and some weapons for self defense, we're not moving cargo so feel free to keep it on lockdown."
"Understood, how long do you need to stay in port?"
"Just long enough to pick up an agent and then we're gone."
"Um...we have some trouble."
"What kind of problem?"
"A inquistor of the department of religious values wants to talk to you. It's strictly a run down on the rules but since you want to be gone soon it won't be much of a problem for you. Also I'm sorry but our port can't handle large ships and."
He paused.
"Never mind, we have visual. You're free to come in."
"Is the port new?"
"We used to be a landlocked country before the rapture."
I nodded.
"Good point."
I sailed forward and docked my ship. I waited and then a man with brown coco skin walked towards me. He wore a white outfit and had a golden cross on him. I looked at the purple flags with golden crosses on them lapelled to his jacket and then I noticed his too wide smile and warm chocolate skin.
His eyes were blank and unblinking, and he grabbed my hand.
"Welcome to Rhodesia, may Jesus Christ bless your journey."
He squeezed my hand just a little too hard, the hand shake lasted just a little too long and his eyes stared into mine just a little too long.
"Um, god bless you too."
"Ah good. son the rules. We're a christian country so please watch your language.We are also all children of Jesus Christ, so racial slurs are banned here."
"That's progressive."
"I know."
His head tilted, his eyes a little wide.
"We take that policy very seriously. If you do use a racist slur or use a racial joke we will use corporal punishment to correct your behavior, there are no exceptions to this rule."
He gritted his teeth, still smiling just a little too wide.
"I hope you understand."
"Got it, If I run my mouth expect to be socked in it."
The man waved his hands.
"Oh no, we wouldn't do that, the head is much too vulnerable. We would cane your rear end, back and legs."
I looked to the side at Liam.
"Good to know."
His head tilted the other way.
"But like I said, we value the racial harmony that god wanted all of us to share and know that straying from his holy message leads to bloodshed and death. So please note that if you try to stir up racial conflict we will kill you."
"Good to know."
"If you spread the word of the Antichrist, we will kill you."
"And that is?"
"Communism of course, silly."
I felt a distinct sense of dread.
"Also the only spirit allowed in here is the holy ghost and those approved by the lord Jesus Christ, aka wine. Other spirits will result in fines."
"And other drugs?"
"Cigarettes and Potare legal but any drug that causes people to be more agressive or lose sight of Jesus's message of peace will result in."
"Corporal punishment?"
He nodded his head.
"You're a very smart man sir. But like I said we are a christian country that follows Jesus's message of racial peace and harmony. We are a forgiving people because Jesus teaches us to forgive but if you try to disturb that harmony."
He loomed over me, his smile vanishing.
"There will be consequences."
I nodded.
"Um...I'm just here to pick someone up and then leave."
The man nodded.
"Oh yes, brother Thomas has already been contacted and is right on his way."
"Great, um we will just wait right here on the ship, and um pray to the lord?"
The man gave me a thumbs up.
"Great...oh and if any of your shipmates do not know the message of the lord Jesus Christ."
He pulled out a bible.
"Be sure to give them this, thank you for coming to our country and may Jesus bless you."
I nodded my head, my gaze drawn to the large side arm attached to his hip.
"God bless you too."
I took the bible and inched back slowly to my ship. When we were certain the inquistior was far enough away I looked at Liam.
"Well, that was terrifying."
He nodded in agreement and walked away. We waited in silence on our deck and then a black man with short cropped hair walked down the dock. he was dressed in a business suit and like the inquisitor also wore a cross.
"You are brother Thomas?"
The african man nodded.
"I am here to help you yes? I am sure the soviets destroyed the world because they were the gleeful minions of satan and the antichrist but it is useful to know what excuses and lies they told themselves so we will not allow those mistakes to happen in the future."
"Welcome aboard brother Thomas."
He nodded smiling.
"Glad to be aboard, may Jesus Christ bless our holy mission."
He walked onto our ship and we sailed away. Brother Thomas had a rictus grin as the small town vanished in the distance. Then he turned to us and visibly deflated.
"Let's get the fuck out of here."
"Um brother Tomas."
He took off his coat and shuddered.
"It is tom Yes? Get me the fuck out of here, those people are crazy and I want out you understand?"
"Can do."
He took off the dress shirt and sighed in relief.
"And please tell me you have whiskey? The only thing I've been able to drink for years was that horrible watered down wine."
"It's in the hull, in the fridge."
"Thank god and um, thank you for getting me out of that shit hole."
He walked down and Liam and I shrugged.
We sailed slowly to port. I decided to give myself a promotion.
"This is Captain Essen, we are here on solar business."
I waited for the radio to get back to me.
"We're going through the messages, we will have people meet you. Anything to declare?"
"Magic users and some weapons for self defense, we're not moving cargo so feel free to keep it on lockdown."
"Understood, how long do you need to stay in port?"
"Just long enough to pick up an agent and then we're gone."
"Um...we have some trouble."
"What kind of problem?"
"A inquistor of the department of religious values wants to talk to you. It's strictly a run down on the rules but since you want to be gone soon it won't be much of a problem for you. Also I'm sorry but our port can't handle large ships and."
He paused.
"Never mind, we have visual. You're free to come in."
"Is the port new?"
"We used to be a landlocked country before the rapture."
I nodded.
"Good point."
I sailed forward and docked my ship. I waited and then a man with brown coco skin walked towards me. He wore a white outfit and had a golden cross on him. I looked at the purple flags with golden crosses on them lapelled to his jacket and then I noticed his too wide smile and warm chocolate skin.
His eyes were blank and unblinking, and he grabbed my hand.
"Welcome to Rhodesia, may Jesus Christ bless your journey."
He squeezed my hand just a little too hard, the hand shake lasted just a little too long and his eyes stared into mine just a little too long.
"Um, god bless you too."
"Ah good. son the rules. We're a christian country so please watch your language.We are also all children of Jesus Christ, so racial slurs are banned here."
"That's progressive."
"I know."
His head tilted, his eyes a little wide.
"We take that policy very seriously. If you do use a racist slur or use a racial joke we will use corporal punishment to correct your behavior, there are no exceptions to this rule."
He gritted his teeth, still smiling just a little too wide.
"I hope you understand."
"Got it, If I run my mouth expect to be socked in it."
The man waved his hands.
"Oh no, we wouldn't do that, the head is much too vulnerable. We would cane your rear end, back and legs."
I looked to the side at Liam.
"Good to know."
His head tilted the other way.
"But like I said, we value the racial harmony that god wanted all of us to share and know that straying from his holy message leads to bloodshed and death. So please note that if you try to stir up racial conflict we will kill you."
"Good to know."
"If you spread the word of the Antichrist, we will kill you."
"And that is?"
"Communism of course, silly."
I felt a distinct sense of dread.
"Also the only spirit allowed in here is the holy ghost and those approved by the lord Jesus Christ, aka wine. Other spirits will result in fines."
"And other drugs?"
"Cigarettes and Potare legal but any drug that causes people to be more agressive or lose sight of Jesus's message of peace will result in."
"Corporal punishment?"
He nodded his head.
"You're a very smart man sir. But like I said we are a christian country that follows Jesus's message of racial peace and harmony. We are a forgiving people because Jesus teaches us to forgive but if you try to disturb that harmony."
He loomed over me, his smile vanishing.
"There will be consequences."
I nodded.
"Um...I'm just here to pick someone up and then leave."
The man nodded.
"Oh yes, brother Thomas has already been contacted and is right on his way."
"Great, um we will just wait right here on the ship, and um pray to the lord?"
The man gave me a thumbs up.
"Great...oh and if any of your shipmates do not know the message of the lord Jesus Christ."
He pulled out a bible.
"Be sure to give them this, thank you for coming to our country and may Jesus bless you."
I nodded my head, my gaze drawn to the large side arm attached to his hip.
"God bless you too."
I took the bible and inched back slowly to my ship. When we were certain the inquistior was far enough away I looked at Liam.
"Well, that was terrifying."
He nodded in agreement and walked away. We waited in silence on our deck and then a black man with short cropped hair walked down the dock. he was dressed in a business suit and like the inquisitor also wore a cross.
"You are brother Thomas?"
The african man nodded.
"I am here to help you yes? I am sure the soviets destroyed the world because they were the gleeful minions of satan and the antichrist but it is useful to know what excuses and lies they told themselves so we will not allow those mistakes to happen in the future."
"Welcome aboard brother Thomas."
He nodded smiling.
"Glad to be aboard, may Jesus Christ bless our holy mission."
He walked onto our ship and we sailed away. Brother Thomas had a rictus grin as the small town vanished in the distance. Then he turned to us and visibly deflated.
"Let's get the fuck out of here."
"Um brother Tomas."
He took off his coat and shuddered.
"It is tom Yes? Get me the fuck out of here, those people are crazy and I want out you understand?"
"Can do."
He took off the dress shirt and sighed in relief.
"And please tell me you have whiskey? The only thing I've been able to drink for years was that horrible watered down wine."
"It's in the hull, in the fridge."
"Thank god and um, thank you for getting me out of that shit hole."
He walked down and Liam and I shrugged.