• The site has now migrated to Xenforo 2. If you see any issues with the forum operation, please post them in the feedback thread.
  • Due to issues with external spam filters, QQ is currently unable to send any mail to Microsoft E-mail addresses. This includes any account at live.com, hotmail.com or msn.com. Signing up to the forum with one of these addresses will result in your verification E-mail never arriving. For best results, please use a different E-mail provider for your QQ address.
  • For prospective new members, a word of warning: don't use common names like Dennis, Simon, or Kenny if you decide to create an account. Spammers have used them all before you and gotten those names flagged in the anti-spam databases. Your account registration will be rejected because of it.
  • Since it has happened MULTIPLE times now, I want to be very clear about this. You do not get to abandon an account and create a new one. You do not get to pass an account to someone else and create a new one. If you do so anyway, you will be banned for creating sockpuppets.
  • Due to the actions of particularly persistent spammers and trolls, we will be banning disposable email addresses from today onward.
  • The rules regarding NSFW links have been updated. See here for details.

Half-Blood Prince's Tale (Hp Si as Snape)

Reader mode
Chapter 5
  • Threadmarks
    • The next time I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the sight of a familiar ceiling. I sensed a presence next to me and indeed Eileen had pulled a chair out and was sitting beside me.

    As soon her eyes landed on me, she leapt at me.

    "Severus, you are awake!"

    A pair of arms grabbed me and I was pulled into a hug. I awkwardly hugged back.

    "How are you feeling, Severus?" she asked with a look of concern in her eyes.

    "I am fine, just a bit hungry," I answered as I observed her. I noticed that she had changed. Not physically but more so the way she carried herself.

    There was a certain grace to her actions now and her face still remained stoic but it gave off a calm, collected vibe rather than the depressed one.

    "So what happened?" I finally asked.

    "I-I am so sorry Severus for being such a bad mother to you. I was too weak to fight against that man and you had to suffer for it. I should have known that taking those vows was a bad decision, they forced me to have some lingering feelings for that monster and I couldn't harm him even if I wanted to."

    Huh...so my guess had been right. I decided then to always make sure I don't promise anything carelessly. One wrong vow could potentially fuck me over.

    "It's alright mother, you couldn't have known. Besides, my actions did save you so I am happy with it." I said trying to reassure her.

    "But...you shouldn't have been forced to take such an action in the first place…To kill at such a young age..."

    "I would do it again if I had to free you from that man. I do not regret killing him."

    "I see.." a sad smile forms on her face. "How...d-did you feel now? Mentally I mean.."

    Hmm…it was a good question. How did I feel? I had just killed a man after all. I thought about it and oddly I didn't feel much. I didn't feel any guilt or horror for having taken a life.

    Was I a bad person for not feeling anything? If so I was fine with it. I never claimed to be a good guy so it didn't matter. Heck, I felt killing Tobias was letting him off easy for the abuse he did to Eileen and Severus.

    But I guess this was an alright outcome as well. I don't think Eileen would have liked seeing her son torture a person.

    The only thing I felt was a bit of anxiety. I was not worried about the kill per say but more so the consequences that came after carrying it out.

    "Not really, I just feel a bit squeamish I guess? I don't remember it that well" I said, putting on a confused expression. Better to act clueless than act like I didn't feel anything.

    "Oh...It must have been a harrowing experience then. I won't pretend to understand how it must have felt for you but I am your mother so you can always come to me if you feel troubled."

    "Thank you mother, I will be sure to keep that in mind.So….what did you do with the body?"

    "Well, I can use magic like before so I just made him disappear." She answered, her tone taking a happier note at the mention of magic.

    Another theory of mine seemed to have been true as her magic returned after Tobias the oppressive force keeping her was removed.

    "Oh...so can you teach me magic again then?" I asked.

    "Yes I can but you still don't have a wand so you can't use any complex magic but we can get you started on potions. You will need a wand for that too but you would have pretty much learnt the entire recipe except the wand part."

    "I am fine with that too but won't making potions require ingredients?"

    "Of course we need ingredients but for that we need money. I will go reclaim what little if left of my family's fortune and then think of a way to earn money but you don't worry, your mother will be the one to take care of you now."

    Seeing her confidence was a pleasant surprise. The change was sudden and much faster than I had expected.

    "Alright, I will leave that to you then." I said getting out of my bed.

    "So are you going to only teach me potions?"

    "Well yes…" she began. "Oh...how could I forget, I was planning on teaching you occlumency which is the art of defending your mind from external attacks but…I am rubbish at it. Even I know only the bare basics so there's not much I can teach you."

    "I learnt it from my mother who was quite skilled at it but alas I never paid much attention to her and always looked for excuses to get away from the lessons. Still in the end, I did learn a few things…."

    "So...how do I learn it then?" I asked feeling disappointed. I guess it made sense since if she was good at occlumency and legilimency, she would have seen through Tobias easily and would have never ended up like this.

    "Well there is not much we can do right now but I could teach you what little I remember. Just some basic exercises for the mind, I know a bit of legilimency, just about enough to read surface thoughts so I could try that on you. How does that sound?"

    "I...am fine with it. I suppose I can always learn it when I am older…or are there any books from which I can learn?" I said.

    "Hmm...there are a few books on this but they are rather hard to find and at our current state, we can't afford one…." she replied and looked down with a frown.

    "Its alright...I will focus on other things for now. You can just teach me what you know."

    Eileen nodded and patted my head.

    "So.. do we start now?" I asked with anticipation.

    "Nope~ not today young man, when was the last time you rested? Look at you, you seem tired. So no magic today for you. Just stay in bed and your mother will tend to you."

    I wanted to protest but seeing her determined gaze, I backed away. It was not like not doing magic for one day would harm me. The only reason I wanted to try it was because it still had some novelty and I just wanted to see what I could do.

    I let out a sigh and leaned against the bedpost. "Alright..alright, have it your way. I will rest for...today but you can't expect me to stay in bed all day."

    Her gaze softened, "Hm...well it can't be helped then. You can just watch me renovate this hovel of a house and then we can go out and do some shopping. How does that sound?"

    "Wait...you are renovating the house? Are we gonna live here? Also aren't we a bit tight in the finances?"

    "No..I am just renovating the house to sell it. I doubt we would get much out of it as its more of the location than the condition of the house. Nobody wants to live in this dreadful town but the condition might convince some poor chap moving in here."

    "Now as for where we are gonna live, I want to move to the magical side again...if that's not an issue with you?" She asked with some nervousness in her eyes.

    "Go on...I have no problem with living with magic."

    "Of course, you would see it that way." She rolled her eyes and continued, " Well there is a problem though, I have to see how quickly I can get the Prince name back. I am sure my parents didn't remove me from the family tree considering I was the only child they had. I was a…. terrible daughter but they might have hoped my offspring would inherit the family."

    She had a melancholic look on her face as she spoke about her parents. She sighed, "When I get back my family name, I can access the vaults and if there is enough money left in it, I plan on opening up a potion shop and selling potions."

    "We could move in now but moving in as a pureblood gives you way more benefits and leeway than a muggleborn would get. Besides we are too broke to live there anyway…"

    It was a lot to take in as I slowly digested what she said. I felt like a burden was taken off my back. I felt relieved to see that she had made plans to sustain us and it was well thought out too.

    "Oh...and as for the money part. I had been secretly saving some. It's not much but we can have fun with it for a day at the very least."

    "I see...you seem to have thought of everything then. I am glad you are doing well now mother."

    "Its all thanks to my lovely son~ " She smiled at me.

    "I still feel guilty for making your childhood horrible…... You were forced to mature because of your weak, incompetent mother and I know it seems selfish of me but I beg you to give me another chance to set things right."

    "I haven't been a good mother till now but I swear I will be one now. Please let me make up for all those years of suffering you went through...please give me another chance to be your mother." She confessed and awaited my judgment. Tears were about to erupt from her eyes and her eyes had a tiny flicker of hope.

    I sighed internally as I thought of an answer. First of all, I was not her son Severus and had not suffered like he did. I had suffered too but it was a completely different matter. Next, I didn't know what Severus would have done if he were faced with this.

    I took a breath and cleared my mind. As my mind cleared, I made up my mind. Sure I was not her son but I was the one who freed her. Also, I didn't need to care about what Severus would have done, I was not him and I was the one with his body. He was gone now and I had free will.

    Having made up my mind, I uttered, "Okay."

    Just one word but it seemed to have done the trick as her arms wrapped around me and this time I hugged properly. She sobbed into my shoulders as I held her.

    I had cleared the obstacle that stood in my path and now I could start walking the steps to my dream. I might fail to reach it, I might succeed but one thing was sure, I would walk my path with no regrets.
    [A/N: As usual leave some comments and likes if you enjoyed reading. See you soon.]
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Interesting, is it that words have power so just saying it as a magical is dangerous, or do you have to mean it at the time for your magic to bind you. Is it something that I haven't thought of yet or is it magic and therefore much more personal and harder to have true rules that always apply. Love what you've done so far Tasty humans no need to actually reply or anything, I've always liked the idea that ten people can all read the same book and come away with ten different answers.
     
    Leroidumonde said:
    Interesting, is it that words have power so just saying it as a magical is dangerous, or do you have to mean it at the time for your magic to bind you. Is it something that I haven't thought of yet or is it magic and therefore much more personal and harder to have true rules that always apply. Love what you've done so far Tasty humans no need to actually reply or anything, I've always liked the idea that ten people can all read the same book and come away with ten different answers.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    Hmm...I haven't given it much thought but from my perspective, its not the words that bind the speaker but rather their will. So if Eileen here had not taken those vows seriously then they wouldn't have affected her as they did. So unless Severus actually means what he says then he won't be bound by promises.

    This is for one sided promises only though. If two people take oaths together like how Snape and Narcissa in canon did then it has effect on both. This kind is more of a binding contract and the one sided vow will be like the unforgivables. They work only if you mean it.

    I haven't really thought of a system of logic for magic as I intend to make things up as I go. I don't want to make it too technical like some fics I saw. I feel the charm of Hp magic is that its vague and mysterious as it should be and it allows any fic author to meddle with it as they please. So Severus here will research magic but he won't be able to explain it accurately and can only make theories.
     
    I like that, the idea that it can all be explained is just silly to me, we have dark matter and dark energy even gravity but magic can be better explained than quantum physics! To me that just seems crazy, I much more like the idea that it is like science in the pre 1900s, even when people agree that something is a general rule with lots of well thought out theories, the truth is no one has any idea how it really works, just that it does.
    P.S. Newton published on gravity in the early 1700s, more than 2000 years earlier a Greek philosopher whose name I can't remember published a map of the solar system that put all the planets in the right place around the sun. Clever dude that he was he knew the planets orbited the sun, knew where they where but like everyone else he needed to use his naked eye so maybe he had good vision? Anyway he had no idea how the hell they stayed up there, aether, crystals surrounding the planets who knows. I like thinking of magic like that, you can do things with it, you know huge amounts about it but at the end of the day, you are trying to work out how it is you make reality go and cry in a corner and the answer is who the hell knows, but I can!
     
    Last edited:
    Tasty_humans said:
    The next time I opened my eyes, I was greeted by the sight of a familiar ceiling. I sensed a presence next to me and indeed Eileen had pulled a chair out and was sitting beside me.

    As soon her eyes landed on me, she leapt at me.

    "Severus, you are awake!"

    A pair of arms grabbed me and I was pulled into a hug. I awkwardly hugged back.

    "How are you feeling, Severus?" she asked with a look of concern in her eyes.

    "I am fine, just a bit hungry." I answered as I observed her. I noticed that she had changed. Not physically but more so the way she carried herself.

    There was a certain grace to her actions now and her face still remained stoic but it gave off a calm, collected vibe rather than the depressed one.

    "So what happened?" I finally asked.

    "I-I am so sorry Severus for being such a bad mother to you. I was too weak to fight against that man and you had to suffer for it. I should have known that taking those vows was a bad decision, they forced me to have some lingering feelings for that monster and I couldn't harm him even if I wanted to."

    Huh...so my guess had been right. I decided then to always make sure I don't promise anything carelessly. One wrong vow could potentially fuck me over.

    "It's alright mother, you couldn't have known. Besides, my actions did save you so I am happy with it." I said trying to reassure her.

    "But...you shouldn't have been forced to take such an action in the first place…To kill at such a young age..."

    "I would do it again if I had to free you from that man. I do not regret killing him."
    "I see.." a sad smile forms on her face. "How...d-did you feel now? Mentally I mean.."

    Hmm…it was a good question. How did I feel? I had just killed a man after all. I thought about it and oddly I didn't feel much. I didn't feel any guilt or horror for having taken a life.

    Was I a 'bad' person for not feeling anything? If so I was fine with it. I never claimed to be a good guy so it didn't matter. Heck I felt killing Tobias was letting him off easy for the abuse he did to Eileen and Severus.

    But I guess this was an alright outcome as well. I don't think Eileen would have liked seeing her son torture a person.

    The only thing I felt was a bit of anxiety. I was not worried about the kill per say but more so the consequences that came after carrying it out.

    "Not really, I just feel a bit squeamish I guess? I don't remember it that well" I said, putting on a confused expression. Better to act clueless than act like I didn't feel anything.

    "Oh...It must have been a harrowing experience then. I won't pretend to understand how it must have felt for you but I am your mother so you can always come to me if you feel troubled."

    "Thank you mother, I will be sure to keep that in mind.So….what did you do with the body?"

    "Well I can use magic like before so I just made him disappear." She answered, her tone taking a happier note at the mention of magic.

    Another theory of mine seemed to have been true as her magic returned after Tobias the oppressive force keeping her was removed.

    "Oh...so can you teach me magic again then?" I asked.
    "Yes I can but you still don't have a wand so you can't use any complex magic but we can get you started on potions. You will need a wand for that too but you would have pretty much learnt the entire recipe except the wand part."

    "I am fine with that too but won't making potions require ingredients?"

    "Of course we need ingredients but for that we need money. I will go reclaim what little if left of my family's fortune and then think of a way to earn money but you don't worry, your mother will be the one to take care of you now."

    Seeing her confidence was a pleasant surprise. The change was sudden and much faster than I had expected.

    "Alright I will leave that to you then." I said getting out of my bed.

    "So are you going to only teach me potions?"

    "Well yes…" she began. "Oh...how could I forget, I am also going to teach you some occlumency. It is the magical defence of the mind. It is quite an obscure branch and you won't be learning this at Hogwarts but it is a highly useful one."

    "You see...our family the Prince has quite a few potion recipes that are well kept secrets so each and every member of our family had to learn occlumency. I am not too good at it but I will do my best to teach you after you will be the heir of the Prince family."

    "I wanted to teach this to you earlier but my mind had been a mess back then and it was too dangerous to attempt teaching you."

    I nodded at her to show her I understood. I had a calm look on the outside but one the inside I was very excited. Occlumency was perhaps the thing Severus was best at after Potions and I wanted to learn it.

    "So.. do we start now?" I asked with anticipation.

    "Nope~ not today young man, when was the last time you rested? Look at you, you seem tired. So no magic today for you. Just stay in bed and your mother will tend to you."

    I wanted to protest but seeing her determined gaze, I backed away. It was not like not doing magic for one day would harm me. The only reason I wanted to try it was because it still had some novelty and I just wanted to see what I could do.

    I let out a sigh and leaned against the bedpost. "Alright..alright, have it your way. I will rest for...today but you can't expect me to stay in bed all day."

    Her gaze softened, "Hm...well it can't be helped then. You can just watch me renovate this hovel of a house and then we can go out and do some shopping.How does that sound?"

    "Wait...you are renovating the house? Are we gonna live here? Also aren't we a bit tight in the finances?"

    "No..I am just renovating the house to sell it. I doubt we would get much out of it as its more of the location than the condition of the house. Nobody wants to live in this dreadful town but the condition might convince some poor chap moving in here."

    "Now as for where we are gonna live, I want to move to the magical side again...if that's not an issue with you?" She asked with some nervousness in her eyes.

    "Go on...I have no problem with living with magic."

    "Of course, you would see it that way." She rolled her eyes and continued, " Well there is a problem though, I have to see how quickly I can get the Prince name back. I am sure my parents didn't remove me from the family tree considering I was the only child they had. I was a…. terrible daughter but they might have hoped my offspring would inherit the family."

    She had a melancholic look on her face as she spoke about her parents. She sighed, "When I get back my family name, I can access the vaults and if there is enough money left in it, I plan on opening up a potion shop and selling potions."

    "We could move in now but moving in as a pureblood gives you way more benefits and leeway than a muggleborn would get. Besides we are too broke to live there anyway…"

    It was a lot to take in as I slowly digested what she said. I felt like a burden was taken off my back. I felt relieved to see that she had made plans to sustain us and it was well thought out too.

    "Oh...and as for the money part. I had been secretly saving some. It's not much but we can have fun with it for a day at the very least."

    "I see...you seem to have thought of everything then. I am glad you are doing well now mother."

    "Its all thanks to my lovely son~ " She smiled at me.

    "I still feel guilty for your childhood or rather the lack of one. You were forced to mature because of your weak,incompetant mother and I know it seems selfish of me but I beg you to give me another chance to set things right."

    "I haven't been a good mother till now but I swear I will be one now. Please let me make up for all those years of suffering you went through...please give me another chance to be your mother." She confessed and awaited my judgment. Tears were about to erupt from her eyes and her eyes had a tiny flicker of hope.

    I sighed internally as I thought of an answer. First of all, I was not her son Severus and had not suffered like he did. I had suffered too but it was a completely different matter. Next, I didn't know what Severus would have done if he were faced with this.

    I took a breath and cleared my mind. As my mind cleared, I made up my mind. Sure I was not her son but I was the one who freed her. Also I didn't need to care about what Severus would have done, I was not him and I was the one with his body. He was gone now and I had free will.

    Having made up my mind, I uttered, "Okay."

    Just one word but it seemed to have done the trick as her arms wrapped around me and this time I hugged properly. She sobbed into my shoulders as I held her.

    I had cleared the obstacle that stood in my path and now I could start walking the steps to my dream. I might fail reaching it, I might succeed but one thing was sure, I would walk my path with no regrets.
    [A/N: As usual leave some comments and likes if you enjoyed reading. See you soon.]
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    YESSS!!! GREAT CHAPTER!!! FREEDOM!!! PLEASE KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!!!
     
    Chapter 6
  • Threadmarks
    • [A/N: Important announcement: I am gonna be a whole lot busier from now onwards so I won't get much time to write. Therefore, the update speed will be reduced to 1-2 chaps a week.

    But I will try for longer chaps.]


    "Are you ready?" Eileen asked.

    Taking a deep breath, I gave her a nod. It was time for my first occlumency lesson.

    "Well then, let's get started."

    "Occlumency is an ancient field of magic that is used to protect one's mind against legilimency. There are no wand waving or flashy things involved in it and it requires discipline and order." She explained with a solemn look on her face.

    "Severus, I must ask you to show patience while learning this art. Its requirements are high but the return is low...initially at least so you must not be discouraged if you don't get it easily."

    "Yes, mother."

    "Alright then, today I am just going to teach you or atleast make you understand the basics of Occlumency. Is that clear?"

    I gave her a nod.

    "Right, so the first thing you can do if a legilimens is trying to read your thoughts is to not give them any. Of course, this won't stop a legilimens as he can just break into your mind but doing so would mean exposing himself. He would have to keep eye contact to initiate the spell and if he is not extremely advanced,he will have to use a wand."

    "So for today's lesson, you will have to learn to clear your mind, to make it blank and empty. It might sound easy but you will soon learn that it is not as simple as it seems. Even a single stray thought will reveal your intentions so make sure there is nothing in your mind."

    "Don't focus on anything and...just let go." She finished and gestured to me to give it a try.

    I did as she instructed and closed my eyes. It didn't take long before I felt a serene feeling wash over me and sure enough my mind was blank and empty as she put it.

    Opening my eyes I said, "Done."

    She raised an eyebrow at that, "Are you sure about that?"

    I nodded.

    "Well let me see if you are telling the truth. There is no way you could have cleared your mind so quickly.." she said and then looked me in the eye.

    Her expression quickly turned into a shocked one. "Y-you….actually did it….b-but how?!"

    Well I only did as well because this was something I already knew. Being in the void with no way of sleeping, this had been something I had come up with or more like learnt in the void.

    I would clear my mind when my thoughts became too pessimistic and it kind of worked. I could not keep it up forever but it did buy me time.

    "Tell me Severus, how did you do this?" she asked, breaking me out of my thoughts.

    I just shrugged, "I dunno...I just followed what you said I guess?"

    She let out an exasperated sigh, "Haah...it seems you are gifted in this field. I would have thought you were a perfect occlumens had I not seen the lack of barriers around your mind."

    "What's a perfect occlumens?" I was curious to know what it was.

    "Well do you know what a perfect legilimens is?" she asked. "Oh..you probably don't but there are some individuals who are born with the ability to use it. Kind of like an innate talent."

    "A perfect legilimens can read minds passively and while they can be stopped by occlumency, a trained one can easily penetrate the barrier. Similarly, a perfect occlumens is one who has in short extremely high resistance to legilimency and is usually born with a barrier around their mind."

    I was fascinated by this tidbit, I recalled a character who could have been a perfect legilimens. Queenie Goldstein did fit the bill. I wondered if there were any perfect occlumens.

    Eileen continued, " But these people are very rare. You hardly see one in a century and even if there are more, nobody can tell especially for an occlumens as people don't go around digging into other's mind."

    "I thought you were one but you aren't as I could read your memories if I wanted to."

    My lessons went smoothly after that. She didn't teach me more and asked me to keep working on clearing my mind. She gave me an old dusty book about Occlumency and asked me to go through it.

    Overall occlumency was a success.
    ……..

    Staring at the familiar dingy old pub, a wave of nostalgia hit Eileen.

    'It hasn't changed at all…'

    It had been years since she last came here but nothing had changed. The rusty sign still hung with the words 'Leaky Cauldron' written on it. It still had the same welcoming vibe and she felt her mood get better just by seeing it.

    A part of her still had trouble believing the fact that she could use magic again. Being under that man had made her feel like using magic was a sin but now she felt joy each time she used it.

    Nothing she ever did would amount to the gratefulness she felt for her son. She didn't have anything to repay him other than be the best mother she could be for his sake. She was glad he had accepted her.

    She didn't know what she would have done if he hadn't. Now that they both were free to do as they pleased, they had to face reality. Tobias had used up pretty much all of their savings and had even used up hers as well.

    The money they had wouldn't last for long and Eileen being the adult had to provide for both of them. It had been nearly a month since the incident and they were already almost out of money.

    She regretted spending money so haphazardly and even bought Severus along with her. Worse yet, she had spent most of her money on those pretty dresses she had seen in the tele.

    She had always dreamt of wearing them but she knew that even if she had gotten them, things would only be worse if Tobias noticed it so she had kept mum.

    But all things said, she just couldn't help herself. It had been too long since she had some time for herself and Severus was to blame too, he had spent quite a bit on food and...shampoos.

    'Is he at that age already?' she thought. The boys at Hogwarts hadn't cared about their personal appearance until third year except some snobby purebloods who smeared makeup like pigs.

    But she remembered Severus telling her with a serious tone, "It's for a future investment. My future self will thank me if he ever decides to keep long hair."

    She couldn't help but chuckle at this. Seeing him with a serious expression talking about investment had been funny. He always seemed so mature for his age but a nine year old kid talking like that would make anyone smile.

    With a smile still on her face, she walked into the pub. It was still as she remembered. Dark and shabby, with a bar and tables shrouded by shadows.

    Now she understood why the Muggleborns she knew used to call the wizarding community out of date. She had been living in the muggle world for quite a while now and coming back to this pub made her feel like she was in a different era.

    There were some old women seated at the corner with their dark robes and pointy hats, a man was smoking a long pipe and the entirety of the pub was filled with such individuals. She felt out of touch with the place, the only thing common she had with these people were the robes she was wearing.

    'I am glad I decided to wear my old robes, I would have stood out too much if I wore any muggle clothing.'

    "Ay..how may I help you, Miss?" A voice called out to her.

    Eileen turned towards the source and found a tall,bald man. It was the landlord Tom if she recalled correctly.

    "Um...I was just looking to get to Diagon Alley…"

    "Ah..come along then, it's at the back." he said beckoning her to follow him.

    She did as told and walked with him. He took her to a courtyard behind the pub.

    "Here we are," he said once they were faced with a wall. " I take it this is not your first time here?"

    "No..I have come here several times but it has been some time since my last visit." Eileen replied.

    "I see...do you need help accessing the wall? You will need to pay a small fee for that though.."

    Eileen jogged her memory trying to recall how she had opened the wall and fortunately enough, she remembered it.

    "That won't be necessary, I know how to open the wall." She replied.

    "Very well, call me if you can't get it open." he said and left the way he came.

    She pulled her wand out and tapped the bricked wall in the sequence she remembered. It turned out to be the right one as the wall parted to reveal the crowded cobblestone streets of Diagon alley.

    Taking a deep breath, she moved forward.
    ….
    [POV change]

    Eileen had left for diagon alley leaving me to tend the house. She had finally decided to go get her name back and maybe get a job somewhere.

    Tobias had also left a debt for us and the debtors had come to collect. They were the typical goon lackeys who threatened people but they were dealt with easily, a quick obliviate with a confundus was enough for them.

    Seeing as how more people might come, Eileen set up a muggle repelling barrier. The muggle repelling charm worked...like a charm and people just ignore the well kept house in the desolate street or remember something urgent and leave.

    It kind of worked like a weaker fidelius charm with half the functions. It did the trick though and no more thugs came looking for trouble.


    My magic studies were coming along decently with Eileen teaching me potion theory in the morning to Occlumency sessions in the evening.

    I had not made much progress in occlumency as she wanted to teach me slowly. I had gotten to the point where I could clear my mind as soon I felt a probe.

    She did say she would teach how to defend and set up barriers soon so I was excited for that.

    As for potions, it was only theory so I had not made much progress in that either.She just had me memorize the potion recipes and formulas which was not a hard task with my enhanced memory.

    This was something I had noticed. My memory had become sharper and it was easier to comprehend things too. I couldn't explain it so I attributed it to either Severus' brain power being more than mine or it was a side effect of my time in the void.

    Coming back to potions, Eileen also had me get used to cutting and slicing things so that when I got the ingredients, I would waste them.

    Last but not the least, I had started studying Science again. While I didn't know if I could incorporate it in magic, I had to give it a try. I had to study for this though as I had never been a good student before.

    The subjects I was focusing on more were chemistry and mathematics. Chemistry because it had connections with Potion making and Alchemy, both highly advanced fields and Maths on the other hand had some relations with Runes and arithmancy.

    I had just about read the basics this month and planned on slowly expanding upon it. I wanted to start languages as well especially latin since it was the language the spells were in but there was no duolingo to help and I couldn't find any books that taught latin either.

    I decided to put it off till I found a tutor for it or any other means to learn it.

    Reading the subject books though was still an unpleasant experience. I didn't feel any of the excitement I felt when I studied the magical subjects but I forced myself to push through.

    Funny how dying changes a man. If it had been me before death, even if I had been transmigrated I would have probably slacked off. My procrastination skills were too high but they had been reset after my time in the void, something which I was thankful for.

    Eileen was a bit surprised by me asking for muggle books as Severus had never shown interest in them but was more than happy to help and got me some second hand books from a sale.

    Speaking of second hand books, I would most probably be using Eileen's books for my time at Hogwarts. The new books were expensive and while the latest editions had minor improvements, they also omitted things.

    This was most likely the Ministry's attempt to restrict knowledge given to the common populace or maybe some elaborate scheme of the Purebloods I didn't know. But according to Eileen, the Ministry had been removing things from the wizard books after Dumbledore's duel with Grindelwald.

    I could guess why they did it. They didn't want people to grow as strong as those two. It didn't stop Voldemort though and his followers were purebloods who had access to all the knowledge they wanted so in a way this backfired and weakened the Ministry.

    I didn't fret too much since the Hogwarts library would have everything I needed and more or so I hoped.

    I don't know if the Room of Requirements worked the way it did as portrayed in certain fanfics but I hoped for it to work that way. It would make things much easier for me.

    If not I just had to be the teacher's favorite and since Slughorn still taught at Hogwarts, I had hopes of pulling it off. I just had to not act shady like Tom.
    …

    It was afternoon by the time I left for the park.

    I started my jog towards it. I made it somewhat of a habit of mine to give my body some exercise.

    I didn't know if having a strong physical body had any effect on my magic but it didn't hurt to stay fit.

    I wanted to try other exercises but didn't because I wasn't sure if it was good for my young body.

    I missed the times when I could just google things I wanted to know about. The lack of means to access information was frustrating but I couldn't do anything about it.

    So I just did the bare minimum to keep my body fit and healthy. By the time I started feeling out of breath I had already reached the park.

    The park was surprisingly not empty like usual. What greeted me was the sight of a familiar redhead crying under the tree. She looked about my age and had distinct green eyes. Who else could it be but Lily Evans.

    It seemed that the time had finally come to meet my first significant canon character. I had not anticipated this happening so soon but it was nothing troubling, I just had to adapt a little.

    Wiping the sweat of my brow, I approached her.


    [A/N: I wanted to make this a longer chapter but after coming back to write after a long time, I couldn't write well and my mind was blank so I ended it. Sorry for the abrupt end.]
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Its fine, dont worry about the length. As for the chapter, i thought it was good. The POV of snapes mom was great as it gave us a look into her thoughts and plans. Now with us meeting Lily its time to derail cannon
     
    Chapter lengths are only as long as you feel comfortable making them.
     
    Ooh! Fated meeting. *watches avidly*

    Don't worry about length. *coughs* Size doesn't *cough cough*

    Seriously though, No worries. We'll read what ya got. :)
     
    Chapter 7
  • Threadmarks
    • [A/N: Too busy nowadays but here you go.]

    "So you're telling me that it's gonna take at least six months before I can access the vaults?!" Eileen exclaimed as she felt frustration and worry seep in after hearing the goblin's words.

    After reaching Diagon alley, she had headed straight for Gringotts. She had it all planned out. She would get her name back and then see how much money was left and then decide according to that whether to start her own business or save it.

    But things didn't go as planned when she reached the imposing building. Like all wizarding buildings, it remained the same.

    The Goblins were as she remembered too, short ugly creatures and they were ruder than before. She had thought that being a former Prince, she could easily get access to the vaults but the damned Ministry had made new laws over the decade she was away.

    Since she had left her family and married a muggle, she had basically renounced her name. She could reclaim it without much issues before and only had to go to Gringotts and prove that she was really who she claimed she was.

    Of course, if she had been kicked out or if the head of family didn't want her to access the vaults, she would have been helpless but that was not the case for the Prince family which only had her and Severus as the direct members.

    Now she had to send in an application to the Ministry and get it approved by the legal department after they looked through the British Ministry of magic Records room . Only then would she be able to reclaim her name back. And the Ministry was as incompetant as ever.

    Even six months was considered a quick response from them. This wouldn't have taken this long if another member of the family had been alive but alas she and Severus were the only ones left.

    There was another option which was letting Severus become the heir. All he had to do was pass the blood test which considering he was her son, it wouldn't be hard to pass.

    But there was a small problem...he was too young. According to law, he can't become an heir or have anything to do with the vaults till he was 11. He could only access it through a guardian but she, his guardian didn't have access to it too.

    "Please, there must be a faster way…" she asked one more time.

    The goblin adjusted his spectacles in clear annoyance, "It's not our problem." he said drawing the word out.

    "We don't deal with this anymore, if you have any issues go talk to your Minister. Don't waste my time now."

    Seeing that he wouldn't budge she didn't have any choice but to leave. Dejected, she walked out of the bank.

    'What am I going to do now?'

    'I didn't think it would turn out like this….'

    She was feeling stressed now that she was pushed into a corner. She had been confident that she would have had to at most wait for a month but it backfired and now she was back where she started.

    'I just need enough money to get by till Severus turns 11…'

    Severus was nearing ten now so she needed to last for a year more.

    She wanted to sell potions but she didn't have a permit from the Potions associations, she didn't have her family name which made things worse if she wanted to apply for one.

    She could make potions and sell to the shops dealing with potion trade but all of them had suppliers and besides she couldn't make enough potions to meet their demands anyway.

    Her mind started thinking of other jobs she could do but nothing came to her mind. The problem was not that she was not qualified for the jobs but the fact that she had been away from the magical world for 10 long years.

    She went to the apothecary to see if they would hire her but they said they were not hiring. Now if Eileen had been a Potions Master then she wouldn't have any worries. People would be lining up to buy her potions but she wasn't a Master.

    She had wanted to but she had run off to marry Tobias as soon as she graduated. One wrong decision had screwed up her entire life.

    She could take up muggle jobs but since she couldn't use any magic while working, she would be useless as she never learned to do things.

    The Ministry might be incompetent but the ICW wasn't. So if she got caught using magic in the muggle world, at best her wand would be snapped and at worst, she would end up in Azkaban.

    After Tobias started his abuse, she just shut down and didn't try interacting with anything.

    Another issue was that her documents and ids in the muggle world were not proper and if asked about it when applying for a job, she would be stumped.

    She could forge them but she didn't know where she could do that and she was also a bit worried that she would be exposed if things went wrong.

    As she walked down the alley with these thoughts, she didn't notice a figure walking in front of her and bumped into them.

    Realising her mistake, Eileen immediately apologized, "I am sorry, Miss. I should have been paying more attention."

    "Well you should have..but I forgive ya" the woman answered. The woman had a round figure, a pretty face and blonde hair. She exuded a mature aura of an experienced woman.

    She squinted her eyes as she looked at Eileen, "Have we met before? You...look familiar.."

    Eileen too observed the woman in front of her, she too had felt she was familiar. Before she could reply though, the woman's eyes widened. "Wait...Eileen? Is that you?"

    "Y-yes…" Eileen replied and at the same time even she recognized the woman in front of her.

    "Rosie…?!" she blurted out. The woman was her Hogwarts junior who she had been friends with. Rosmerta Allen was a halfblood hufflepuff witch who had been good at potions and she had gotten along well with her.

    "Oh boy...that's a name I haven't been called in a long time…" Rosmerta said.

    "It really is you…" Eileen couldn't believe it.

    "Yep~ It's me alright but I can't believe it has been so long since we last met."

    "So what brings you here? How are the husband and kids?" Rosmerta asked.
    At the word 'husband', a shadow casts over Eileen's face and she looks down.

    "It's a long story…." she began.

    "Well I've time to hear it so let's catch up...so how about we get some ice-cream and you tell me what happened?" Rosmerta suggested, a concerned look in her eyes. She had sensed that something was wrong and she knew a good ice-cream would help.

    Before Eileen could protest, Rosmerta dragged her to the Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour.

    ……

    "So go on then, tell me what happened?" Rosmerta asked once they had settled down. They had ordered their ice creams and were waiting for it to arrive.

    "Well…" Eileen took a deep breath and began explaining. She started from how her marriage was not a happy one to how her abuse began after Tobias was fired.

    She downplayed it but Rosmerta didn't buy it as her eyes hardened listening to her. She had clenched her fists and made up her mind to break the man who had made Eileen suffer so much.

    Eileen continued and concluded her tale but didn't tell her that it was her son who killed Tobias but instead changed it to herself.

    She looked up to see Rosmerta's expression but she felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her.

    Rosmerta hugged her and didn't say anything. Eileen couldn't hold back her tears and a few trickled down her cheeks.

    Rosmerta comforted her and they talked for a long time about other topics. She was happy that her friend Eileen was free now but felt regretful that it took so long.
    "Why didn't you ever try contacting me? I could have helped…." she asked.

    "I..was too afraid and I just didn't want to trouble you…"

    "Bah...you silly girl, why would you ever be a burden to me?!" Rosmerta sighed.

    "I..I know but I was not in the right state of mind back then…if it hadn't been for Severus.."

    "Guess I have to thank your son then, he seems like a good kid…" Rosmerta praised Severus, her impression of him was high.

    "So why were you here today? Got your family vault back?" she questioned Eileen.

    "No…it seems that the Ministry has made new laws since I was gone…" Eileen explained the situation to her.

    "That seems troublesome...good luck having those old bastards go through your application and approve it. Maybe if you promised them half the vault…" Rosmerta rolled her eyes. She disdained the Wizengamot. She was a half-blood and had to go through trouble to inherit her three-broomsticks inn.

    "You know I can't...Severus will have to go to Hogwarts soon and since he qualifies as half-blood, he can't even get the muggleborn fund."

    "I see...then what are your plans now?"

    "I am not really sure...I thought of applying at the apothecary but they are not hiring. I tried all the apothecaries in Diagon but the same thing happened. Only place I didn't check would be Knockturn but I am not going there…" Eileen answered.

    "Hmm….you haven't considered any jobs in the muggle side?"

    "Well I did but I don't have any of the documents and besides I wouldn't know what to do...I am useless aren't I?" Eileen sighed.

    "Now don't look so glum...when I am here, I have a job offer for you." Rosmerta said.

    Eileen's eyes lit up, "Really? What do I have to do? What's the pay? When do I start?"

    Rosmerta chuckled, "Merlin's beard..slow down will you. I will answer your questions one at a time."

    "So the job is just to help me manage the pub and inn. I recently reopened it after finally getting it under my name. I don't have much savings left after renovating it so I can't hire many people."

    Pausing to see Eileen's expression, she continued, " The pay will be decent. Since you will not be doing one specific job, the pay will be higher. Also you must help me come up with new drinks, you are decent at potions so you can help me with mixing. You can start from tomorrow if you want.."

    "There...have I answered everything?"

    Eileen immediately nodded, "Of course, I will start from tomorrow. Thank you so much, Rosie. I-I.. don't know how to thank you.."

    "No need to thank me Eileen, this is the least I could do.."

    "B-but.." Eileen protested but Rosmerta didn't let her.

    After that they chatted for a while before Rosmerta left after apparating. Eileen wanted to apparate too but she was out of practice and didn't want to splinch herself.

    She bought some ice-cream for Severus and left Diagon alley. She was relieved that she got a job. While things didn't go as well as she had wanted, at least she was not helpless anymore.

    ………………
    [POV Change]

    As I neared Lily, I noticed what she was doing. She was using magic to change the colours of the flowers.

    She noticed me approaching and quickly wiped her tears and stopped her magic. Her face still had the telltale signs of crying though. Her eyes were red too.

    "Hello there." I greeted her as I reached the top of the mound.

    "H-hello.." she greeted back but her voice cracked. She blushed at this and kept her head down.

    I sighed as I knew this was going to be awkward.I had just about gotten used to interacting with Eileen and even then I felt awkward sometimes.

    She knew I was mature for my age but I was still a kid in her eyes….

    Now in front of me was Lily, a canon character but more importantly was still a kid. Moreover she appeared to have been crying. Comforting others was something I was never good at and I didn't know how to approach the situation.

    Still I knew I had to at least give it a try. Making a good first impression was important and I was sure I would make a better one than canon Severus.

    "Right.." I began. "Haven't seen you around, you new?"

    "Y-yes...I just moved in."

    "I see...well then, I am Severus or Severus Prince if you wish to be formal. Welcome to the neighbourhood I guess…"I said, giving her a hand.

    "L-lily, Lily Evans." she greeted me back and shook my hand awkwardly.

    "So now that we are acquainted…" I started and sat beside her on the grass. "..What's gotten you down? Is it the dreary town because if it is...I totally agree with you."

    "No...it's just that.." she began but couldn't finish her sentence.

    "You don't have to tell me since we barely know each other but I heard that confiding in others helps.." I suggested.

    I could half guess why she was upset but I wasn't too sure. My most probable guess was that it had something to do with Petunia, her jealous sister.

    "Well its nothing much but I had a row with my sister...Tuney." She began.

    Taking a deep breath, she continued, "You see, we were always close sisters but then something happened and then things changed. I don't know why but she keeps shunning me and always makes fun of me….I tried to be good to her but she just hates me…"

    I calmly listened to her. She paused several times to think and I also noticed how she omitted anything magic related. I guessed she didn't trust me enough or her parents forbade it.

    Or she is worried about my reaction to it. I didn't want to wait for her to slowly open up so I did the thing I was sure would make trust me. I decided to show her my magic.

    Of course not immediately as that would be too shocking and suspicious. I listened to her and tried comforting her.

    After a while, her cheery self as portrayed in the book started emerging and she kept on talking while I made small remarks here and there.

    Honestly I was glad she was this active as I wouldn't know what to talk about. I was not only not her age, I was not even of the same era so I would have just made the situation worse.

    Besides everybody liked a good listener.

    "So how did you do it?" I asked in between.

    "Huh? Do what?" confused she asked me.

    "Well I noticed you changing the colours of those flowers you know…"

    A shocked expression appeared on her face as she quickly denied it, "W-what are you talking about?"

    "See those flowers." I pointed at the colourful flowers a few feet away.

    "T-those were always like th-that…" she began but I interrupted her.

    "So you are telling me flowers grow like that?"I said. The flowers were in different colours each and it didn't look natural at all.

    "Um...I...that…" she stuttered.

    I could see that she was clearly nervous as sweat trickled down her temple and her eyes darted around.

    "Well I can only think of one explanation for what I saw Lily."

    She looked up eager to hear what I had to say.

    "You are a witch, Lily." I stated.

    "I am a what?" she asked with a confused face.

    "A witch." I repeated. I kept a stoic expression but inwardly I was feeling amused.

    "B-but that can't be true...I am not a bad girl."

    "I never said you were one though?"

    "But you said I was a witch.."

    "What does that have to do with you being a witch?" I asked, pretending to be clueless.

    "I saw on the tele that witches were bad…"

    "Oh..I see. You don't know about the magical world then?"

    "Magic?" she asked with confusion in her voice.

    "Yes, what you just did is magic and a person who can use it is a witch." I said.

    "Really? How do you know all this then?" she asked not believing it or not wanting to believe it.

    "Well I know all this because I can use magic too." I said and then lifted my hand.

    The flowers nearby were uprooted and came floating to my hand. I turned all the flowers to white and presented it to Lily.

    "Now do you believe me?"

    "Y-yes.." she said, not taking her eyes off the flowers. "You are a witch too then?"

    My eyes twitched at that, " The more accurate term would be wizard."

    "Oh...I see. How do you know all about this?" Excitement shone in her eyes.

    "Sit down...this will take a while." I asked her to sit down again. I knew I had her as her expression gave away her curiosity and eagerness to learn more about her powers and the magical world.




    [A/N: A minor change,
    I made Eileen younger and Rosmerta older than their actual age according to canon to make them friends.
    ]
     
    Last edited:
  • Threadmarks
    • Excellent chapter!

    Irony.png

    Leroidumonde Tasty_humans
     
    Tasty_humans said:
    "Hello there." I greeted her as I reached the top of the mound
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    "It's over Lily! I have the high ground!"
    But in all seriousness I am enjoying this story immensely. So are Sev and mom going to have to spend a bit more time in their old house while she works at the three broomsticks? I guess that leaves Sev and Lily time to bond.
     
    Chapter 8
  • Threadmarks
    • [A/N: Here's a quick chapter. I have a minor headache so this is not edited well. I just wanted to get this over with so I posted it. Next chapter will have some short timeskips and then Severus will finally go to Hogwarts in a few chapters.]


    It was evening by the time I finished explaining things about the magical world. Lily had way too many questions but I answered most of them.

    Honestly I still didn't know what to do with her. I was not canon Severus so I didn't feel anything for her.

    I was just interested because she was a canon character and she was good at magic. I figured that I might need her help in the future so it wouldn't hurt to know her.

    That said I didn't want her to go the same route as in canon. I didn't care whether Harry would be born or not. From the moment I arrived in this world, it was inevitable that there are going to be changes from canon.

    I can't rely on plot too as I am here pre-canon so the only thing that's useful for me are that I know things from an outsider's perspective. I could even say that I have an insight into traits of characters but I can't be too sure as the story was told from Harry's point of view and me being before canon also means that characters could have been different before.

    So I had decided not to bother whether my actions would change plot as my very existence probably already did so.

    Speaking of Lily, she was not present in canon and was already dead so what little I knew about her was all from memories of other characters and people tend to glorify dead people so I didn't have a proper assessment either.

    And besides all they said was that Harry had her eyes and that she was good at magic.

    People forgot about her even though she saved Harry. I could see why they hailed Harry as the one who defeated Voldemort since he was the one who lived.

    Also why did no one even try to investigate what happened?

    Nobody even bothered how he survived. Dumbledore just bought a group of meatshields together who didn't accomplish anything in the end.

    I didn't believe Dumbledore was some evil mastermind but I did think he was horribly ill suited to lead people. He used his reputation to bring some people together and did nothing.

    Coming back to Lily, I decided to inform her more about the magical world so that she doesn't go in blind and naive otherwise she would end up as a useless Order of phoenix member.

    For now though, I just told her about Hogwarts and briefly mentioned what magic was.

    I decided to hold back on purebloods and muggleborn issues for now as I didn't want to scare her away.

    I just had to set her mentality right and once thats done, I could tell her more. I had to make sure not to portray it as some magic filled utopia and that would be enough to make her cautious.

    Also had to show her that Gryffindor was not the only house there was. I would prefer her going to Ravenclaw which would prevent her from falling under Dumbledore's influence.

    That old man never let any gryffindor go and with his good grandfatherly vibes, he got them onto his side.

    I had no doubt that if Mcgonnagall came to Lily's house then she would subtly mention her house whether consciously or not, it would still make the kid subconsciously prefer her house.

    No wonder most of the Muggleborns ended up in gryffindor. The ones who couldn't went to Hufflepuff.

    Ravenclaw and Slytherin had the least number of muggleborns with Slytherin not getting any usually. If they did though...then they wouldn't last very long there.

    Lily after becoming a gryffindor had been influenced by their opinions and probably even felt the bias they had against Slytherins. This put a dent in her relationship with Severus and one blunder from him was enough to sever it completely.

    To be honest, I felt Lily gave up on him too quickly, didn't even give him a chance to set things right but she forgave James for all his pranks and bullying he did to Severus.

    From what I recalled, Lily only started dating James somewhere between fifth year and seventh year so I had enough time to make her not fall for him.

    ……….

    Eileen was already back by the time I reached home. She greeted me with a smile which made me think things went well.

    "So..I presume things went according to plan?" I asked.

    She tilted her head, "Well...they didn't go exactly as planned...We can't access the vaults for now. Once you turn 11, you will be eligible to become the Heir and then we can open it or we have to wait at the very least six months before those geezers in the Wizengamot move a finger."

    I wondered why she was happy then.

    "..But don't worry, I met an old friend who offered me a job. I will start working there from tomorrow. The pay is decent and I don't have to do much either."

    "Old friend? What's the job?" I asked.

    "Ah...we went to Hogwarts together. Rosmerta is her name, she was a Hufflepuff a year below me and we bonded over potions. She inherited the three Broomsticks inn."

    I just raised an eyebrow. The name felt familiar but I couldn't recall it.

    "Of course, you wouldn't know it but the three Broomsticks is probably the oldest building in Hogsmeade and Hogsmeade is the village outside Hogwarts just so you know...Anyway Rosie reopened recently and offered me a place there. I don't have to do much here and just help her around there and give some new ideas for drinks."

    "I see…"

    It was an unexpected outcome. Who would have thought Eileen would meet her friend and get a job. I felt the name Rosmerta was familiar and then I remembered who she was.

    She was there in canon and was probably a milf. I kept these thoughts to myself and asked, "She seems like a nice person."

    "Yes...she is, she was understanding when I told her about my situation…"she answered.

    I felt my back stiffen. "Wait, you...told her.."

    Seeing my expression, Eileen said, "Ah..I didn't give her all the details and I told her that I was the one who killed him.."

    My lips twitched, "That doesn't make much difference you know….a murder is still a murder. Aren't you worried she might tell anyone? Also you could have just stuck with the 'he ran away' statement we used here…"

    I couldn't believe that she had done this. This was too risky and admitting to a murder never leads to anything good.

    "Severus, you don't have to worry so much...Rosie wouldn't tell anyone and besides I would just say I killed him in self defense if the Ministry questioned me. They wouldn't convict me as I am a witch and Tobias was a muggle."

    "At worst, some nosy Gryffindors might frown but that's it."

    While this calmed me down, I still felt it was a bad decision on her part. But I decided to let it slide for now. Her answer gave me more insight into wizarding society.

    For them, muggle lives were not as important as theirs and it was understandable. Eileen being a pureblood would also give her more leeway. And if Rosmerta did keep her mouth shut, then there wouldn't be any problems.

    "Alright...but don't tell more people okay?"

    She nodded and tried patting my head but I dodged her hand.

    "So what ideas are you going to pitch to her?" I asked her. I did have some ideas from the modern world that might do well in Hogsmeade but they might fail too as wizards had weird tastes.

    "I don't know but I will think of something.."

    "Want me to help?" I offered.

    Her eyes brightened and she flashed me a smile, "Sure...that would be great."

    "Hmm...I will write some ideas down later. For now,you could try introducing some muggle beverages there. Who knows they might do well there?"

    "That's a very good idea. I am sure nobody has muggle drinks there and with the inn being the only one selling it, we would make a good profit if they did well."

    I was about to head back into my room but I remembered something. "Oh right...I almost forgot, I made an acquaintance at the park today.."

    "You made a friend !!" Eileen shouted with unhidden excitement in her voice.

    "I guess...you could call it that too."

    "Severus, tell me is it a boy or a girl?!"

    Her excitement was a bit jarring. "It's a …" I began but before I could answer.

    Eileen said, " It's a girl isn't it?"

    I nodded. "You guessed correctly…"

    "Oh I never guessed Severus, I knew it was a girl. I just asked to make sure."

    I just stared at her speechless.She smiled and asked, "So tell me more about her? How is she? Is she pretty? What's her name? Where does she live?"

    I sighed at this bombardment of questions, "Could you please calm down mother, why are you so excited anyway?"

    "How can I not be excited? You made a friend and it's a girl at that…"

    I couldn't refute that. I had seen Severus' memories and he didn't have any friends and certainly not a girl. No wonder he fell for Lily so hard, she was literally the first person he interacted with after his dysfunctional family.

    "Well for starters, her name is Lily and she lives on the other side of the town. She recently moved in...I think her dad's a factory supervisor or something. But most importantly she is just like me and can use magic."

    Eileen's eyes widened, "What?! Are you sure about that, Severus?"

    "Yes...I saw her transfigure the colors of flowers. She also told me of some incidents where she used accidental magic."

    "Wow...this is just..I mean what are the odds of this happening.." Eileen was rendered speechless by my revelation.

    "She seems to be a muggleborn as her parents don't understand her magic. I told her a few things about magic and agreed to meet her tomorrow."

    "Severus did you show her your magic?"

    "Yes…"

    She sighed, " Severus you have to be more cautious about this. You can't show your magic to people just like that. Imagine your new...friend telling her parents about it and how they might react. Muggles don't like things they can't understand and they might react like…" She trailed off but I knew what she was getting at.

    She thought Lily's parents might act like Tobias and it did seem logical from her point of view but she didn't know about Lily's parents like I did. I knew they didn't fear or hate her so even if Lily did tell them, they wouldn't react violently.

    Petunia was the only one who didn't like magic but she was powerless to do anything.

    "I suppose but I don't think her parents will do anything. They know about her magic and don't fear it, they just don't know what it is."

    "B-but still…." She began but paused to think.

    "They might be nice people but I want to make sure..Tell you what Severus, try asking her if I could meet her parents. Tell her that I want to explain in detail about our world to them. I will go meet them and make sure they aren't mistreating her."

    It seemed too much of a hassle but sensing her concern, I agreed. It wouldn't hurt to have her talk to Lily's parents. It might even save me the effort of explaining to them myself.

    I shrugged and walked back to my room to practise magic.
    ………
    [POV change]

    The sun shone in through the windows and a petite figure woke up. This figure was one Lily Evans, she stretched her arms and got off her bed.

    Her mind recalled the memories of the previous day.
    'So it was not a dream huh…'

    She was excited to meet her new friend Severus. Never would she have thought that she would meet someone just like her in this depressing town.

    When she had seen him use magic, a feeling of relief had spread through her. After all, she had been called special by her parents and her sister hated her for it.

    Sometimes she felt bad for having these powers and even hated them for ruining her relationship with her sister but after meeting Severus, these feelings had faded.

    Knowing that she was not the only one with magic made her happy. She wouldn't feel lonely anymore , there was someone out there who could understand her.

    Clearing her head, she quickly completed her daily routine headed downstairs. Her father was sitting by the fireplace reading his newspaper and her mother was in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

    "Ah...Lily you are up early today." Her father said seeing her in the hallway.

    "Morning Dad." Lily greeted him.

    Her father greeted her back and went back to reading his paper. This was his daily routine and he disliked having it interrupted. He was a man of timing and had a schedule he strictly abided by.

    Harold Evans seemed cold and strict on the outside but he was a loving father on the inside.
    ….
    It was breakfast time and Evan's family were sitting at their seats. Petunia had not woken up so she wasn't present much to the displeasure of Harold. He felt his eldest daughter was becoming worse as she grew. She didn't have half the manners Lily had.

    "Lily dear, why are you in such a hurry today. Eat slowly." Rose Evans scolded Lily who was gobbling the food up.

    "...Yes, Mum but I need to go to the park." Lily answered with some food still in her mouth.

    "The park? Why would you want to go there? Her father asked.

    Lily thought her words over and answered, "Well….I made a friend there and promised to meet them today."

    "A friend? Who is it?" her mother asked.

    "Its a boy.." Lily began. Her father's face stiffened at her words.

    Before he could retort Lily continued, "His name is Severus and he lives here in town and..he.."

    'Should I tell them that he is like me too..'

    She couldn't hold it in any longer and decided to tell. "He is gifted like me too."

    Both her parents stopped doing what they were doing and a solemn expression appeared on their face, "What did you say?" her father asked.

    "H-he can use magic too…"Lily answered.

    "Magic?" her mother questioned.

    "Yes…" Lily took a deep breath and explained what Severus had told her. Her parents didn't interrupt and listened attentively.

    After she was done, they exchanged looks with each other and turned to Lily. "Lily if what you said is true, then we must know more about magic. So when you meet the boy today, ask him if we could have a talk with his mother. You said she was magical too right?"

    Lily nodded. Severus had indeed said so. He had told her that she was a muggleborn and that his mother was a witch too.

    "Alright can you do that?" her father asked.

    Lily thought about it and felt nothing wrong about it. She was curious about Severus' mother too so she agreed.

    "Sure..I will ask him, I don't know if he will agree though…"

    She got ready and left for the park.

    Harold and Rose looked at each other. "So do you think its true?" Rose asked Harold.

    "Well...it was too detailed so it most probably is. What do you think?" he answered.

    "I think so too."

    "We can't do much now except gather more information and understand more about this magical world. Hopefully Lily convinces the boy to get his mother. She must know more about this."

    Rose nodded. She had a lot of things to take in and she felt worried about Lily. For now all they could do was wait and see.

     
  • Threadmarks
    • I like the mistakes, Severus trapped in a child's body, Eileen is basically interacting with people for the first time again. As an abused housewife her people skills are probably far worse then they were when she ran away from home to marry a stranger who showed her a little affection. But not to worry, her negative social stat can be trained, after all she has a 10 year old.
     
    Chapter 9
  • Threadmarks
    • [A/N: Longest chapter yet. Nearly hit 4k. I expected that this would be shorter than usual but in the end it became the longest chap till now lol.]

    "So your parents want to talk to my mother?" I asked Lily. I had arrived at the park to meet Lily and also take her to Eileen.

    But as it turned out, Lily had told her parents about me and they wanted to meet me and Eileen.

    "Well..yes. They said they want to ask her about magic...so will you ask her?"

    "Sure...besides mother also wanted to meet you. Since we aren't in a hurry, we could go meet up with my mother and then we can all leave for your house? How does that sound?"

    Lily nodded and with that we began walking towards my house. She walked curiously looking around. She was new to the town so she didn't know most of the places.

    Before long, we arrived in front of my house. The muggle repelling charm was still in place and no people wandered around the house. Of course, Lily was a witch so she had no troubles.

    "Wow...this is your house?" Lily asked in wonder.

    I could understand her reaction. Compared to the other houses in the neighbourhood, mine looked better.

    Eileen had completely renovated it and used magic to make it look new and the garden was well maintained and trimmed too so it looked pleasing to the eye to say the least.

    "You like it?" I asked her.

    "Of course I like it, it looks so pretty."

    "Right...do you want to just keep standing there or do you want to come inside too?"
    Lily blushed in embarrassment and came up to me. I lead her into the house and Eileen came to greet us.

    "Ah..Severus you are back quite soon.." She began before her eyes fell on Lily.

    "So you must be Lily." She said looking at Lily.

    "Y-yes...Mrs. Prince. Good morning."

    Eileen smiled, "You don't have to be so formal dear. Just call me Eileen."

    Seeing her friendliness, Lily didn't refuse.

    "Lily, Severus told me that you can use magic? Is that true?" Eileen asked.

    I went inside my room to get some books I had already finished reading more than once. I picked them up and came back to see Lily interacting with Eileen.

    It seemed that Eileen had taken a liking to her. Well Lily did have high charisma stats, she had that well behaved temperament that parents loved and her cheery attitude also helped.

    "Here are some books that might get you started on magic history." I handed the books over to Lily who grabbed it quickly and started going through them.

    "Thanks Severus, I can't wait to read them. These books seem so cool and old." She said.

    "They are over 20 years old after all.." I answered.

    After that Lily asked Eileen whether she could teach her magic but Eileen disagreed since she wouldn't be home often and thus couldn't supervise her.

    I offered to teach too but she refused. It was understandable though as a nine year old teaching another nine year old was not something you could believe. Moreover it was magic that I was teaching which was dangerous if done wrong.

    Even grown wizards ended up injured or dead because they uttered a wrong spell so Eileen wasn't taking any chances.

    Lily was a bit bummed but Eileen agreed to lend her more books which Lily didn't refuse.

    We talked for a while and Eileen questioned Lily about her magic. Lily narrated her experiences of her accidental magic.

    After an hour or so of talking, we left for Lily's house. I wondered how her parents were. I was not looking forward to meeting Petunia though. From what I heard from Lily, she was already on the way to become like her canon self.

    I could see why she would be envious of Lily having powers but I felt the hate towards her was unwarranted. If I had been in her place, I would have been envious too if a sibling could do things I couldn't ever do.

    But I wouldn't hate them for it. In fact, I would maintain a good relationship with them. I would stay on the muggle side but I could ask them to get me magic items and then use those to lead a comfortable life on the muggle side.

    Petunia on the other hand hated Lily. I guess she blamed Lily for all insecurities. But I didn't come to a conclusion yet as I hadn't met her yet. I only had Lily's one sided experience.

    Even in canon, Lily had fought Snape, it hadn't been only her fault. Severus too had been hanging out with death eaters to be and he had no hesitation joining the death eaters.

    Besides I didn't see any use for Petunia except for using her as development for Lily maybe…
    ……..

    Harold Evans didn't know what he was expecting when he thought of meeting an actual witch but this was not what he had been expecting.

    The witch had introduced herself as Eileen Prince.

    'A pompous name' he had thought inwardly, it was probably her maiden name as he found it hard to believe that a name like that existed in the 'normal' world.

    He was pleasantly surprised by her demeanor.She looked young, he couldn't believe at first that she had a son the same age as his Lily but the way she carried herself made him overlook her age.

    Speaking of her son, he was worried when he learnt that Lily had befriended a boy like every father but seeing the boy eased some of his worries. The boy too had a mature vibe to him and he didn't dress like the hooligans on the street.

    He was dressed in clean ironed clothes and he had well kept hair reaching his nape. The boy Severus had introduced himself perfectly and seemed calm all the while.

    Inwardly he was pleased with his demeanor and had relaxed around him.

    Rose Evans was a fashionable woman and seeing Eileen come into their house wearing the dress she had seen in the tele, her eyes shone.

    She just greeted her and brought her and her son to her husband who was waiting in the guest room.

    When she had first seen Eileen, she had been surprised seeing how young she was. The way she carried herself too was noble and was pleasing to the eye.

    Rose inwardly decided that she would try to befriend Eileen. They had moved to this town recently and she had not made any proper acquaintances.

    Then came the boy her little Lily had befriended. He kept a calm face, almost stoic even. He had only shown a little smile when greeting her.

    She liked the boy. He was polite and reserved. His dress sense was a bit old fashioned but he pulled it off well. Her husband seemed to like it at the very least.

    She was glad Petunia was still asleep in her room. She didn't know who she would react seeing Eileen so she let her sleep more.

    "So...Ms. Prince, I would like to begin by first apologizing for asking you to come on such a short notice...I believe that I was a bit hasty in asking Lily to get you to come here. It's just that we want to know more about Lily's powers or magic as you call it .."

    "Ah..no need to apologize Mr. Evans, I wanted to meet you as well. Muggleborns are so rare and to find one living in the same neighbourhood was unexpected. Besides I can understand how you feel...Magic is something you don't understand and naturally you want to learn more about it."

    "Muggleborns?" Asked Harold, noticing the word.It felt odd as he said it.He wondered if it was a slang for something.

    "Oh...Muggleborns are just what we call wizards or witches born in non-magical families. It is widely believed that they inherited magic from a distant magical ancestor or because of a squib marrying a muggle. A squib is a person who is born into a magical family but can't use magic." Eileen explained.

    Harold listened with interest.

    "Lets get your questions over with first." Eileen suggested.

    Harold didn't have a problem with that. He proceeded to ask her about magic and what it exactly was.

    Eileen hadn't brushed up on magic theory in a long time so she just gave him a basic explanation and it seemed he was satisfied with it.

    "So you are saying that one of us had a magical ancestor?" he asked, pointing at his wife.

    Eileen nodded. "Most probably or you descended from a squib. Either is likely. Magic usually resurfaces in such families."

    "I see….what about Petunia, she is my other daughter. Is there a possibility of her being magical too?" he asked.

    "I am afraid not. She would have shown signs of it otherwise. I have heard of people being late bloomers but they all usually show signs of it before 11...how old is she again?"

    "She will be turning 13 soon…" he answered.

    "I see then I think she is not a witch." Eileen said.

    Harold sighed. He had mixed feelings about this. He knew how much Petunia wanted to be like her sister but he also didn't want her to leave him. He took a deep breath and asked a question that had been worrying him.

    " Lily mentioned a school for magic... Is it mandatory that she must attend?" Harold asked the most pressing question. As much as he wanted Lily to know more about her powers, he wasn't fully committed to the idea that she stop her current studies to go to some magical school.

    Eileen knew this was a tricky question, she took a deep breath and began, "Well you could have her not attend Hogwarts but I would advise not to do that….For starters, Lily won't be able to get a wand, a tracker will be placed on her because she won't know how to use her magic and she can accidentally cause problems."

    'And they will erase your memories to uphold the statute of secrecy...' she said inside her head. From the few sci-fi movies Severus had shown her in the tele, she knew muggles did not take anything messing with her head.

    She felt a little guilty not telling the parents this but she didn't want to make them paranoid. All she was doing now was giving them a brief explanation of the magical world.

    She didn't want to scare them away and even if she gave an explanation, they needed to see it to truly come to a decision. She just wanted to see if they were good people.

    She was already satisfied with them. They both seemed to love and cherish their daughter so it seemed unlikely they would ostracize her because of her magic.

    Harold was deep in thought after hearing Eileen's reply. He weighed the pros and cons of sending Lily to the magic school. In the end, he finally decided.

    "Very well...we will send Lily to the school.." he answered.

    "A wise choice.", Eileen said, showing a relieved smile. She felt happy that they were willing.

    After learning that Lily could be in danger if she didn't learn to control her powers, he just had to send her there.He was a bit disappointed as he had plans for her but he just had to deal with it. He still had his other daughter after all.

    But he also couldn't help but ask, "Can Lily continue her studies here?"

    "Hmm...she can but only if it doesn't conflict with her magic studies. I recommend her self studying and giving exams privately instead otherwise it will be too troublesome."

    "I...see." he looked at Rose, his wife and they both decided to discuss Lily's studies later.

    "So...what can Lily do with magic once she learns it?"

    "The question would be what can't she do, Mr Evans." Eileen answered. "Magic is a wonderful thing and you can do pretty much everything you want with it."

    "There are many fields in magic and I won't be able to explain them all as it would take far too long to explain everything but I can give a brief introduction."

    "That would be acceptable," Rose said as she brought some cookies she had finished baking.

    "Here, Ms. Prince, I made some cookies and I wish you would try them." Rose said.

    Eileen had not eaten breakfast so she nodded. "Thank you and you can just call me Eileen."

    She picked one up and took a bite.

    'It's so good..'

    The cookies were delicious and were very well baked.

    'Severus will like them...Maybe I should ask her how she made them later.'she thought. She had noticed that he liked eating food.

    She knew her cooking skills were not great so she wanted to get better. Tasting Rose's cookies made her consider asking her to teach her some cooking.

    "These are wonderful Mrs Evans. You must teach me how you made these..." Eileen complimented. She blushed after realising what she had said.

    'Merlin's beard….now they must think I am some gluttonous woman.'

    Rose blushed seeing such a sincere compliment. "Oh...thank you Eileen and you can also just call me Rose."

    Inwardly Rose was pleased too. She sensed a place to start their friendship. She decided to ask her about her fashion later.

    "Okay.."

    "Here Dear, have some tea." Rose then poured tea for her husband.

    After eating the cookies, Eileen explained the various fields of magic to them.

    She told them about charms , transfiguration , runes, potions and other fields. She kept it brief and didn't tell them much about curses and other dark magic.

    Muggles had always associated witches with it so she wanted to break that image in their eyes.

    ………

    [Meanwhile]

    Petunia Evans had woken up. She was surprised that her mother had not come to wake her up. Usually she would be scolding her by this time.

    Shrugging she got off her bed and completed her daily routine.

    'How strange why is no one here to wake me up?'

    She started climbing down the stairs when she heard voices from the hallway. She paused and peeked from the stairs.
    She saw a woman dressed elegantly talking to her parents. She also saw a boy next to Lily.

    'He looks handsome…'

    But then she saw Lily talking to him. She gritted her teeth as she came to the realization that the boy had come to visit Lily.

    'Why does the freak always get everything she wants….'

    She didn't know when she started hating her sister but it was probably around the time she was six. Lily and her were as close as sisters could be and were always together.

    But things changed when Lily began doing things that seemed impossible. At first it was small things like her hair growing long even after her mother cut it and soon Lily could make things happen.

    Her parents were surprised to see all this happening but they reacted positively to it. From then, Petunia and Lily slowly grew distant. Gone was the little sister who once looked up to her.

    Lily had transformed into a perfect girl who could perform miracles while she got scolded by her parents. Her parents never seemed to be mad at Lily and got her whatever she wanted.

    Lily had also inherited the better genes so she looked better than her. A festering feeling began building up inside her and it finally exploded when she couldn't hold it in any longer.

    All the envy she felt for Lily and her powers turned into hate and aversion towards it. Lily still wanted to keep a good relationship with her but everything she did seemed like she was looking down on her.

    Petunia couldn't think of anything she was better at than Lily and began hating herself but after a while she started blaming Lily and attributed it to her powers.

    She made Lily's friends think Lily was a freak and made them leave Lily. It worked and they indeed left Lily. Lily was heartbroken and seeing this had finally made Petunia feel good.

    Lily tried making new friends but Petunia had already spread rumours about her.

    Pity all her efforts came to an end when they had to move again. Now they had arrived in Cokeworth. A town that Petunia felt was too depressing to live in.

    She thought that Lily wouldn't make any new friends here but seeing her bring a friend in so soon irked Petunia

    She felt her envy rise up again when seeing Lily's luck. 'I will make him hate her too….that freak must not have any friends..'

    Petunia strained to hear the conversation in the room and she could hear bits and pieces. After learning that the people there could use magic too, her heart started beating fast.

    'Wait..if there are more people like the freak then does that mean I can have powers too…'

    As much as she hated magic, it was all because she couldn't use it but after learning that there were more people capable of using it, she was excited about it.

    But her hopes were crushed when she heard the woman say that she couldn't use magic.

    Tears welled up in her eyes and her nails dug into her fingers as she clenched her fists.

    'It's not fair..why does she get everything and I don't get …'

    'It's all her fault, she took everything from me…'

    She couldn't stand there any longer and headed back to her room. Little did she know that she had been spotted by Severus.

    'How interesting…'he thought seeing Petunia's expression go from hopeful to one of despair.

    He could tell by the look she left with that the chances of her reconciling with Lily was close to nil now. In canon, she had only learnt that she wouldn't be accepted into the wizarding world after Lily turned 11 but now that her hopes were crushed early, she felt worse.
    …..

    I watched Petunia leave with a look of hatred on her face. Lily and the others seemed to have not noticed her.

    I didn't really want to interact with her. From what I had heard from Lily, she was already miserable and hated everything Lily did. It was not a good sign and I wondered why her parents hadn't done anything.

    Maybe they were neglectful of her?

    Anyway I didn't care about her and Lily was just an acquaintance at best. I didn't know how my presence would change her. She did have her hopes crushed earlier this time.

    Maybe she will realise that her hate was misguided and pointless or she becomes worse than her canon self. Either way she didn't really matter for me.

    That said I did pity her as she had to marry a man like Vernon. Hopefully she is saved from that fate this time.

    I didn't bother notifying others of what I saw and the conversations went on as intended. Eileen told them about the types of magic but I did notice how she didn't mention the dark arts and curses.

    I could guess what she was thinking and I agreed with her. No parents would send their children to learn dark magic. Dark magic is not evil per se but it had a stigma against it and an inherent bias in people that it was something to be avoided.
    That said I was beginning to get bored too. After talking for a bit more, Mr Evans left for his factory work but since Rose suggested that they stay for a while, I couldn't leave.

    Mr Evans leaving seemed to have removed some sort of barrier because Eileen began talking more freely. Maybe she was nervous around men or felt uncomfortable in Mr Evans's presence?

    They began talking about cooking and fashion. Eileen wanted to learn cooking from Rose who was happy to help. I felt a bit happy too seeing her wanting to learn cooking.

    I had become accustomed to eating food again and my sense of taste had returned. Eileen's cooking was beginning to taste bland. Hopefully she gets better after learning from Rose.

    Lily and I continued discussion on magic but it shifted to normal topics like our tastes and other things like music, tv shows etc.

    I was a bit out of touch with this era so I found it hard maintaining the conversation but Severus' memories helped me out a bit.

    I still sounded like an ignorant kid who knew nothing but at least it was not as bad as it could have been.

    The only band I knew from the 60s were the Beatles and I was not familiar with anything else.

    I did know some bands from this ear but they didn't exist yet or were not big yet. If I recalled correctly, the queens would start soon.

    Finally after an hour of grueling boredom, Eileen decided it was time to head back home.

    I bid goodbye to Lily and her mother.

    "So what did you think of them?" I asked Eileen once we were out.

    "Well..they seem like nice people. Rose especially was very kind."

    "A new friend then?" I asked.

    "Oh...we just got acquainted. She agreed to teach me cooking, her cookies were pretty good weren't they?"

    I recalled them and I had to agree. They were pretty decent. I nodded.

    "Hmm..oh and I agreed to make her some cosmetic potions." Eileen said.

    "Are you sure it works on muggles?" I asked. I didn't want Lily's mother to get some unintended side effects.

    "Why wouldn't it work?" she asked puzzled.

    "I mean...it is intended for wizards and witches right? So wouldn't it have….I don't know...some side effects or something if used on muggles?"

    "I don't think so...muggles are not really different from us. They are not immune to magic and magic still works on them, it's just that they can't perceive it and can't use it."

    "Hmm…" I nodded.

    "Well hopefully it works on Lily's mother."

    "Don't worry it will, it's been a while since I made potions so I need to get some practice in. Also we can finally begin your potions training. I have asked Rosie to lend me a cauldron."

    I felt happy at this news. Potions was something I was lagging behind in due to not being able to brew any. I was excited to finally apply months of memorizing into practice.


    [A/N: Finally completed this chapter. Was dissatisfied with it a bit. I wanted to have Petunia meet Severus but decided it was too tedious. She won't be a major character anyway.

    So I just showed her thoughts and will now describe her appearances in future briefly.]
     
  • Threadmarks
    • Tasty_humans said:
    The witch had introduced herself as Eileen Prince.

    'A pompous name' he had thought inwardly, it was probably her maiden name as he found it hard to believe that a name like that existed in the 'normal' world.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    "Prince" isn't an uncommon family name. It's not even remotely rare.

    "Eileen" isn't that unusual either.
     
    Nice to see the way eileen was revitalized by gaining back her magic (house, thoughtfulness when talking with the Evans).

    I feel that you've put a bit too much 'tell' in this chapter, the reactions and intents of characters would have been more enjoyable through dialogs.

    Eg:
    Rose Evans was a fashionable woman and seeing Eileen come into their house wearing the dress she had seen in the tele, her eyes shone.
    He was a bit disappointed as he had plans for her but he just had to deal with it. He still had his other daughter after all.

    Both could have been shown in little dialogs (and it was a missed opportunity to have harold express that they had hopes for petunia too)

    That said this way is more efficient and if you were struggling a bit with it it is perhaps better to power through than get stuck.

    Thanks for sharing your story.
     
    preier said:
    Nice to see the way eileen was revitalized by gaining back her magic (house, thoughtfulness when talking with the Evans).

    I feel that you've put a bit too much 'tell' in this chapter, the reactions and intents of characters would have been more enjoyable through dialogs.

    Eg:
    Rose Evans was a fashionable woman and seeing Eileen come into their house wearing the dress she had seen in the tele, her eyes shone.
    He was a bit disappointed as he had plans for her but he just had to deal with it. He still had his other daughter after all.

    Both could have been shown in little dialogs (and it was a missed opportunity to have harold express that they had hopes for petunia too)

    That said this way is more efficient and if you were struggling a bit with it it is perhaps better to power through than get stuck.

    Thanks for sharing your story.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    yeah.. honestly this chapter was a pain to write. I am not very good at interactions as I don't speak English a lot and have't read or watched anything lately.

    That said I will try improving next time.
     
    Not complaining, BUT!

    I like that you are giving plenty of character depth and background. It just feels like you are dedicating too much to it? in situations where it will either will not come up later or where it is not entirely relevant to the story. The story kind of feels like it is advancing too slowly and not much is happening.
     
    Mastersgt said:
    Not complaining, BUT!

    I like that you are giving plenty of character depth and background. It just feels like you are dedicating too much to it? in situations where it will either will not come up later or where it is not entirely relevant to the story. The story kind of feels like it is advancing too slowly and not much is happening.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    I get it. I feel that way too especially while writing this chapter. The pace will increase once he starts going to hogwarts.
     
    Reader mode
    You must log in or register to reply here.

    Users who are viewing this thread

    Total: 3 (members: 1, guests: 2)
    Back
    Top