Marital Negotiations
darthcourt10
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K9Thefirst1
Many thanks to Harry Leferts for letting me play with his toys to see what could come of it, and approving. And also for beta-ing this for me. You helped me avoid an embarrassing continuity error.
Marital Negotiations
Ian Potter had closed his restaurant for the day (just in time to avoid a set of oni triplets looking for him), and after a pleasantly uneventful walk, was at last at the door that would welcome him into the apartments he shared with his attendants and the wives he picked to come with him. And welcome him they did.
"Welcome home Ian!"
"Welcome home husband."
"So, would you like dinner?"
"Or perhaps a warm bath?"
"Or do you just want us?"
Ian couldn't help but smile at the sight before him – Lyra, his legal (and utterly incorrigible) wife, with dark curly hair and slender of frame, and Koyomi, one of his Yuki-Onna Yokai wives (legally concubines, but he detested the term when applied to them), of pale complexion and mild in manners, and both clad in only a matching pair of frilly pink aprons.
"You practiced this."
"Guilty!" Lyra admitted with a shrug, "But really, what are you in the mood for first?"
Ian looked at the pair. And sighed, knowing he was about to disappoint them.
"I'm sorry you two, but I'm beat. Kamiazuki is once again nothing but one goddess or female yokai after another."
The two sighed in disappointment, but gave him a smile nonetheless.
"It cannot be helped I fear," Koyomi replied, "you have never been able to turn aside from a woman in need."
"Yeah, in need of a good-"
"Dinner, ladies. Dinner sounds good. After that I think I'll just go to bed."
The Yuki-Onna of the pair bowed.
"Very good, husband. We shall finish setting the table at once."
"And then I'll get us a nightcap. I'm thinking sherry."
With that the two turned and walked toward the kitchen… And Ian Potter smiled warmly at the view. Not for the first time, he reminisced on seeing Koyomi again.
As yokai, Ian had assumed his first loves would all outlive him. Then, in 1921, the Potter Estate received word that the magical residents of Hokkaido were suffering an epidemic of Dragon Pox. Barely recovering from the effects of the Spanish Flu just two years prior, the Dragon Pox proved to hit all the harder because of it among the wizards, witches and yokai of the communities on the island. Fortunately, biology spared the children from the worst of the epidemic, the immunities of their patriarch being passed down to them. Meanwhile, Ian's Yokai wives suffered the full brunt of the Europe originating plague, even with their decades of exposure to Ian, Lyra and Henry. This was especially true for the Yuki and Tsurara-Onna, the fever and flinty sneezes brought on by the disease being especially taxing for their ice-aligned bodies.
At once, Ian Potter and Lyra apparated to the compound as fast as possible, expanded trunks full to bursting with medicine and supplies in tow. Fortunately, they arrived early enough to shorten the disease and prevent most of the deaths that would surely have come… But only most.
Against the orders of local doctors, their Hone-Onna co-wives, and even Ian himself, Koyomi, dutiful, empathetic Koyomi, refused treatment so long as her friends and co-wives were suffering, even sneaking her dosages of health potions to the sicklier of their number. Soon enough the disease took its toll, and her case of the Dragon Pox escalated to include pneumonia. And from there, no matter what anyone could do, her case turned terminal, and just as 1922 grew old enough to move into Spring, their little clan had suffered their first loss. Not the mortal man Ian Potter, who had at the very least saved them from a life of selling their bodies and gave them their dignity back, but one of the long-lived of their number. Koyomi was mourned and enshrined in the hastily built family shrine, and they moved on. A little sadder, but alive, thanks to her quiet, dutiful, selfless nature.
And when his time came, who did he find waiting for him? Koyomi, still as lovely as she had ever been in life. And when he learned that he had ascended to Kami-dom and was required to come to the annual gathering of the gods? Without a moment's thought he chose Koyomi to be his first personal attendant. And when Lyra came a few years later, he did the same for her.
Their home away from home – as he and Lyra liked to think of their residences in the spirit world – was a lot quieter compared to what they knew while alive. Which Lyra quickly went to 'correcting.' And Ian was both excited for and dreading the day when all of his wives from life joined him in the afterlife. Between them and the score of 'attendants' Lyra had collected for him; Ian Potter was unsure if he could tend to his husbandly duties adequately.
Then again, Lyra was… Lyra, and had… an uncanny way with women that he didn't.
Thankfully, both of his wives present had changed into actual clothes by the time he sat at the table, and conversation flowed about the goings on of the day.
Koyomi saw to it that the affairs of the domicile were carried out as swiftly and efficiently as she had in life.
Lyra published yet another of her dirty books, and was already planning out things she wanted to include in the next one. And after hearing things that made even one of his experience blush, it was Ian Potter's turn at talking about his day.
"Shiromizu and her attendants came to my restaurant at lunch."
"Oooh! Three at once paired with Mistress and Servants? Sounds like you had fun!"
"I hope that Lady Shiromizu was not overly aggressive Husband. You may not care for such things, but she is new to the Kami and must consider her station among her elders."
"Shockingly," Ian replied sarcastically, "that's not what happened. Besides, it would've been weird considering that she's adopted Henry's Great-Grandson Harry as her little brother."
Koyomi chewed her nigiri thoughtfully, while Lyra frowned, remembering days gone by, and watching the events of one night in particular with horror and sorrow.
"A kami, adopting a mortal as kin? Has there been any talk of dissuading her from such? She is divinity after all, no matter how minor at present."
Ian smiled and shook his head at Koyomi.
"No, not so much as a whisper of it. I think everyone has learned their lesson from what happened with Princess Kaguya."
Koyomi nodded in approval and returned to her food, meanwhile Lyra refilled her mug of port.
"So, what do you think of the girl? Been a while since we've had a girl in the Potter Tree."
"She's a sensible girl. And she had a very level-headed upbringing even before she came across Harry. Her two attendants are an orphaned sunflower and spring spirit, and going by their conversation I suspect that she's looking to adopt one of the librarians."
Lyra nodded in approval.
"Yep. Potter all right. She's already collecting."
"Tut-tut Lyra," Koyomi chided, "do not say such things. She is a kami. It is only natural that she selects those she finds worthy of serving her court."
"Uh-huh. And how fast does that normally take? She doesn't even have more than a decade under her belt. And under a week into her first Kamiazuki and here she has two, likely three? And they are lost souls with nothing spectacular to their name, nor any good prospects, such that no other kami would have thought twice about ignoring them?"
"…Diligence and Compassion are admirable traits in a sovereign and a kami. It does not mean that she is 'collecting' anything. Besides, one does not 'collect' people. Nor is 'collecting' a familial trait."
Lyra stared deadpan to her co-wife. Then pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Right. I'll give you something of a pass because you never visited the family estate in England, but Keiko did in 1952 to collect Ian's ashes, and if that Hone-Onna were here she'd explain – in detail – exactly how wrong you are. HOWEVER! I can prove that Potters collect people when they can't collect things! First of all, what was little Harry's Waifu Count Ian?"
"I think you need to cut back on your anime if you're going to use words like that Lyra."
Lyra acted as if he actually answered.
"Exactly, a Fuck Ton! And then there's the unmistakable proof that is our life story. And afterlife story! Have you seen the number of wives and fuck-buddies Ian here collects?"
Koyomi raised a finger as if to make a point… And after a pregnant pause lowered it, saying nothing. Lyra took this as a victory and proceeded to smile smugly.
------
Juuchi jerked to the side, looking for someone. For she felt as though someone was encroaching on her territory.
------
"I'll admit." Ian mused, "ever since I came to Japan all those years ago, I became some sort of paragon of the Young Male's Fantasy. First it was you and your friends Koyomi, then there was that Jorogumo, then after I got engaged to Lyra-"
"Pray, husband," Koyomi interjected, raising a hand to catch his attention, "a moment. Did you say that you bedded a Jorogumo in life? And lived."
Ian paused mid-chew, exhibiting an unhealthy lack of damns to give for the claim he had just made.
"…Yes?"
"…I believe the term in the West is 'Bullshit.' The legends make it very clear that one does not simply fuck a Jorogumo."
------
Japan, 1881
"Mmm… Ah…. AHhh! AHHH Sweet mystery of life at last I've found you! / AAAAAAT LAAST I know the Secret of it AA~AAALLL!"
------
"But… I did."
Lyra was visibly deep in the proverbial rabbit hole, mouthing things to the effect of 'spider sex' before smiling lewdly and grabbing her notebook. Meanwhile, Koyomi stared at her husband. And then considered who she was talking to. And sighed in resignation.
"…Indeed. Considering that the legends also say that Yuki-Onna universally lead men to die in the snow, I suppose that even the more dangerous of yokai have more nuance to their existence. And given how they are like my race in that they consist solely of women, it is only natural that there are men out there – no matter how few – that do not mind the excess chitinous limbs in their lovers."
Ian nodded in agreement, and then paused mid-bite.
"You know… I think she may have come by our farm once, a few months later."
Koyomi looked to her husband startled, hand to her mouth in much belated concern, while Lyra looked up from where she was no doubt writing something obscene.
"How could you know Ian? More importantly, how could you not tell us that there was a Jorogumo so close to the children!"
The human spirit scratched the back of his head, thinking back to an event over a hundred and thirty years in the past.
"Well, I left her with a bag of provisions, she said that she was hungry when she caught me so I left her with my supplies, then telling her about the farm. I mean, I could see ribs in her side so she needed it a lot more than I did. Anyway, Chiho, Sora and me were in the woods to avoid the children when we were interrupted by a crash, and I figured it was a bear so I went to investigate. There were some knocked over trees, and I found my supply bag. I figure that she might have come to return it, though I don't know why she ran off rather than call out. I mean, it's not like we would've been mistaken for someone dangerous."
Ian looked at his wives… And was surprised to see their unimpressed expressions.
"What?"
"Lyra, would you explain this, or shall I?"
"I'll do it – Ian? After you screwed the spider-lady, and selflessly left her all the food you had in your possession, she wanted more of your Good Touch. So she follows your trail and what does she find? You screwing two women in the middle of the woods. Likely after concocting a mental image of you that didn't involve two other women. Or more. And thus, broken hearted, she ran off. End scene."
Ian looked between his wives, and sighed with regret.
"I suppose that's understandable. No matter how hungry she might have been, I'm well aware that it's extremely rare to find a woman willing to share a man." He said without the slightest bit of irony in his tone, "Still, I wish she could have met with me. We could have found a place for her with us. And with the war and the yokai reserves… I doubt she's even alive now…"
------
Shinjuku, At that Moment.
A busty woman, apparently in her late twenties, looked in the storage unit, one like it's millions of siblings across the world. The size of the ubiquitous U-Haul van, it had enough room to hold a college graduate's worldly belongings to their first crummy apartment. But despite all of that volume, it was filled to capacity with various statues, paintings, and other artistic works she and her late mother collected at the younger woman's behest over the better part of a century. Some of which she was preeetty sure was Nazis loot, considering how jittery the German guy was when she bought some of the items in 1947. With a sigh, she closed the shutter door and locked it. Rent was due. And while she could afford it (barely), her unit was getting cramped, and she had no intent to sell any of it.
The woman went home to her loft apartment. Locking the door and closing the blinds, she took off her pants to allow her lower body the liberty to change into its natural shape of a spider the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. After taking a few stretches, she walked over to her desk. According to what she had read, the town of Yamainutaira was a Yokai boom town, where Yokai could mingle with humans with nigh-impunity (or so the rumor mill said). Maybe they'd be interested in an art museum? Although… From what she read, it was a pretty blue-collar sort of place. But then again, the brochure she picked up at the rail station had a few local sites that seemed touristy. Niche touristy to be honest…
Then again, the sorts interested in local rural history were usually interested in anything that was old! It wasn't like she needed a full-sized museum, a tiny gallery space would free up a lot of space for her. The town would get something to appeal to city-slickers and folks passing through, plus have something to enrich the local culture, maybe even educate the local kids without having to pay for a long-ass field trip! And she'd get her collection out of the storage unit (and ideally close the lease on it), and she'd also get some income to support her passion – her Spider Silk Thread Sculptures. Hell, if she played her cards right, the Aristocrats still holding the land just might decide to become her patrons!
"…Okay, that would be a stretch goal. A 'nice to have' and nothing more. Come on Suzuno, focus on the likely!
"So… Do I send a letter to the Hokubu, since they're the big shot family there? Or do I send it to the town council?" she blew a lock of her utterly unmanageable hair out of her eye, "Maybe both…?"
------
Ian Potter shook his head, leaving regrets in the past where they belonged. "Now then… There is… one thing of more immediate importance to the family. – Lady Kuraokami was at the restaurant today-."
"Mmm!" Lyra sighed hungrily, "Now there's a treat I'd love for you to bring home Ian. Those tits! That ass!"
"Well, that could very well happen. During the act she asked for me to father her child."
Things got quiet, Koyomi stroked her chin in thought… While Lyra smiled in a way that teetered between lewd and affectionate, her thoughts likely see-sawing between the act of making the child and the child itself.
"I at first thought it was just an affect of the afterglow, that she was saying things she wouldn't otherwise say. But… No. She has wanted to be a mother for some time, and she wants the father to be me."
"This is unexpected." The Yuki-Onna pondered aloud, "She is one of the direct relatives of Amaterasu, Granddaughter of Izanagi and Izanami themselves. Do not misunderstand Husband, you are both a marvelous companion and an affectionate lover, any woman would do well to seek you out. And you are a part of Lady Kuraokami's court besides, but why should she choose you of all spirits and kami to sire her offspring, when she has prospects that would be much closer to her station?"
Lyra nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. I've seen her in the baths. Not the trimmed down form she uses while holding court to keep guys from drooling, I mean the form she uses as her chosen default figure. If she's been wanting kids there is no reason why she shouldn't have a miniature nursery of children by now."
Ian sighed.
"Well, the answer to that question stems from… From her birth."
Lyra's eyes narrowed in confusion, while Koyomi's widened in realization before she hung her head in sorrowful understanding. Lyra looked between her husband and her co-wife before speaking up.
"Okay, for the ignorant foreigner in the room, could someone give me the basics?"
Koyomi looked to Lyra, then Ian, then back down to her half-finished plate of food.
"Lady Kuraokami… The patroness, creator and protector of my race… Her birth, was not something that was celebrated.
"It is said that Lady Izanami was pregnant once again, and all of Heaven was joyful. However, the kami in her womb was the kami of fire, Kago-Tsuchi. So great were his flames, that the very act of birthing him was enough to kill Izanami. Enraged with grief, Izanagi, the boy's father, drew his sword and slew the infant. And from the blood that dripped off his sword and struck the ground sprang Watasumi Sanjin of the Sea, now called Ryujin and his sister, Kuraokami, Kami of Cold, Darkness, and Rain."
"She said as much," Ian nodded in agreement, "'I was born from the spilled blood of my murdered infant father, unjustly slain by grandfather for the accidental death of my grandmother, an act my father could not control.' Apparently, every time she decided to bring up children with her boyfriend du jur, the circumstances of her birth apparently always came to mind and… Well, the relationship soon died after that. They just couldn't get over how she was born of the murder of a murderer. They likely assumed that any children of hers would be similarly cursed."
Lyra scoffed in surrogate offense.
"Bollocks! Bleeding bollocks is what that is! If she was cursed, I'm pretty sure it would have been obvious by now."
"Agreed," Koyomi said with a nod, "The intervening centuries have put paid to such notions of any curse other than the tragic timing of Fate."
"Besides, why is it the sister that's being made a pariah? Didn't you say that her brother is Ryujin? How much pussy has he gotten to have all those kids? I certainly don't see any signs of curses in that bloodline."
"How long has Lady Kuraokami desired motherhood Ian?"
Ian stirred his dinner with his chopsticks as his brought up the details of the conversation in his mind, pondering how much of what was told in confidence and intimacy he was at liberty to say. But… These were his wives. They could be trusted to keep discrete.
"Kura mentioned that the first real urge to have a child of her own was… Was seeing Amaterasu when she was pregnant with her first child. That 'maternal glow' you could say."
Koyomi stared wide-eyed for a moment before bowing her head in empathy.
"Ten-thousand years of longing. At the least."
The table grew quiet as the dead spirits of mortals contemplated the aching sorrow of the Eternal. Suddenly, Lyra's face drew up in a cheeky smile and planted her fist into her open palm.
"Right then! Ian, when is Lady Kuraokami coming over for the baby-making booty call? Tomorrow? Next week? Or will it be after Kamiazuki? I'll need time to get things ready. There're the scented candles, the rose petals, the mood lighting, then I need to decide on the soundtrack – Marvin Gaye? Luthor Vandross? Barry White? Oh! and of course, there's the chocolate fondant to acquire, and the ropes if we get to feeling kinky. OOH! And I'm going to need a whole new notebook! This sort of thing is exactly what I have been wanting to try in one of my books! 'A proud noblewoman, longing for a child and heir, turns to one of the lower-ranked members of her court – and his lovely wives of course – and they all work to help the noblewoman become with child in a night of a passionate five participant-!'"
"Actually Lyra," Ian somberly, but not maliciously, "it very well could be that she decides not to conceive by me after all. I told her to think long and hard on it before she committed."
"Well why not Ian?" she asked, looking much put upon, "We've already established that she wants children by you. And you love being a father! So if the both of you are shagging with the intent of conceiving it should be in the bag, as it were."
"Well… As I told her, if she wants me to be the father of her child, or children, then she and I cannot continue on as we have. Things would have to become… Serious. You know very well that I can't knowingly father a child and just ignore it."
Koyomi smiled warmly, holding a hand to her cheek as she visited to a long-ago time.
"Indeed Husband. It is one of your most noble traits."
"Right. So while I won't force her to marry me unless that's genuinely what she wants, the point is that we will be in effect. Now, what do you think that means? What was our homelife like during our stays in Japan Lyra?"
His human wife just nodded in understanding in lieu of an answer.
"So. I won't deny you or Koyomi or any of the others when their time comes if any of you want to join us. But at the same time, I don't want a woman whom I love and who is the mother of one of my children to feel forced into things she genuinely isn't comfortable with. For one thing, it isn't fair to her, and for another, it would be the height of hypocrisy on my part given that the only things I ever did deny you women, which you accepted without an argument, was involving a second man, or the off-label use of… Ahem, 'alternative conceptual aids' while with me.
"Those are the ground rules I gave her – If we do this, I'll be present as the child's father all his or her life. But at the same time, she and I cannot be fuck-buddies and nothing more anymore. With all that will imply. And I told her to take as much time as she needed to come to a decision over the matter."
His wives looked at him, then at each other, then back to their husband. In time Koyomi nodded in ascent, and Lyra crossed her arms over her flat chest bashfully.
"It is a fair and forthright set of terms, as is your way. Very well, it shall be as you wish Husband."
"Come on Ian, you make me out to be some sort of deviant."
"That is because you are," was the reply in stereo.
"…A fair cop. But it's not like I would've forced myself! If it bothers her so much, I wouldn't even be in the room."
"For the first night."
"…"
"After that you'd want to watch. And after that it's only a matter of time before you get handsy."
"Fine, Ian, I get the idea…"
"When will we hear from Lady Kuraokami regarding her decision Husband?"
Ian sighed, and took advantage of the last of his sushi to buy him time to consider the question before answering.
"It's an open offer Koyomi. We could hear from her as early as tomorrow morning, or any time after that."
------
Also, Lord K I hope this doesn't bungle any plans of yours should I go forward with Suzuno.
Many thanks to Harry Leferts for letting me play with his toys to see what could come of it, and approving. And also for beta-ing this for me. You helped me avoid an embarrassing continuity error.
Marital Negotiations
Ian Potter had closed his restaurant for the day (just in time to avoid a set of oni triplets looking for him), and after a pleasantly uneventful walk, was at last at the door that would welcome him into the apartments he shared with his attendants and the wives he picked to come with him. And welcome him they did.
"Welcome home Ian!"
"Welcome home husband."
"So, would you like dinner?"
"Or perhaps a warm bath?"
"Or do you just want us?"
Ian couldn't help but smile at the sight before him – Lyra, his legal (and utterly incorrigible) wife, with dark curly hair and slender of frame, and Koyomi, one of his Yuki-Onna Yokai wives (legally concubines, but he detested the term when applied to them), of pale complexion and mild in manners, and both clad in only a matching pair of frilly pink aprons.
"You practiced this."
"Guilty!" Lyra admitted with a shrug, "But really, what are you in the mood for first?"
Ian looked at the pair. And sighed, knowing he was about to disappoint them.
"I'm sorry you two, but I'm beat. Kamiazuki is once again nothing but one goddess or female yokai after another."
The two sighed in disappointment, but gave him a smile nonetheless.
"It cannot be helped I fear," Koyomi replied, "you have never been able to turn aside from a woman in need."
"Yeah, in need of a good-"
"Dinner, ladies. Dinner sounds good. After that I think I'll just go to bed."
The Yuki-Onna of the pair bowed.
"Very good, husband. We shall finish setting the table at once."
"And then I'll get us a nightcap. I'm thinking sherry."
With that the two turned and walked toward the kitchen… And Ian Potter smiled warmly at the view. Not for the first time, he reminisced on seeing Koyomi again.
As yokai, Ian had assumed his first loves would all outlive him. Then, in 1921, the Potter Estate received word that the magical residents of Hokkaido were suffering an epidemic of Dragon Pox. Barely recovering from the effects of the Spanish Flu just two years prior, the Dragon Pox proved to hit all the harder because of it among the wizards, witches and yokai of the communities on the island. Fortunately, biology spared the children from the worst of the epidemic, the immunities of their patriarch being passed down to them. Meanwhile, Ian's Yokai wives suffered the full brunt of the Europe originating plague, even with their decades of exposure to Ian, Lyra and Henry. This was especially true for the Yuki and Tsurara-Onna, the fever and flinty sneezes brought on by the disease being especially taxing for their ice-aligned bodies.
At once, Ian Potter and Lyra apparated to the compound as fast as possible, expanded trunks full to bursting with medicine and supplies in tow. Fortunately, they arrived early enough to shorten the disease and prevent most of the deaths that would surely have come… But only most.
Against the orders of local doctors, their Hone-Onna co-wives, and even Ian himself, Koyomi, dutiful, empathetic Koyomi, refused treatment so long as her friends and co-wives were suffering, even sneaking her dosages of health potions to the sicklier of their number. Soon enough the disease took its toll, and her case of the Dragon Pox escalated to include pneumonia. And from there, no matter what anyone could do, her case turned terminal, and just as 1922 grew old enough to move into Spring, their little clan had suffered their first loss. Not the mortal man Ian Potter, who had at the very least saved them from a life of selling their bodies and gave them their dignity back, but one of the long-lived of their number. Koyomi was mourned and enshrined in the hastily built family shrine, and they moved on. A little sadder, but alive, thanks to her quiet, dutiful, selfless nature.
And when his time came, who did he find waiting for him? Koyomi, still as lovely as she had ever been in life. And when he learned that he had ascended to Kami-dom and was required to come to the annual gathering of the gods? Without a moment's thought he chose Koyomi to be his first personal attendant. And when Lyra came a few years later, he did the same for her.
Their home away from home – as he and Lyra liked to think of their residences in the spirit world – was a lot quieter compared to what they knew while alive. Which Lyra quickly went to 'correcting.' And Ian was both excited for and dreading the day when all of his wives from life joined him in the afterlife. Between them and the score of 'attendants' Lyra had collected for him; Ian Potter was unsure if he could tend to his husbandly duties adequately.
Then again, Lyra was… Lyra, and had… an uncanny way with women that he didn't.
Thankfully, both of his wives present had changed into actual clothes by the time he sat at the table, and conversation flowed about the goings on of the day.
Koyomi saw to it that the affairs of the domicile were carried out as swiftly and efficiently as she had in life.
Lyra published yet another of her dirty books, and was already planning out things she wanted to include in the next one. And after hearing things that made even one of his experience blush, it was Ian Potter's turn at talking about his day.
"Shiromizu and her attendants came to my restaurant at lunch."
"Oooh! Three at once paired with Mistress and Servants? Sounds like you had fun!"
"I hope that Lady Shiromizu was not overly aggressive Husband. You may not care for such things, but she is new to the Kami and must consider her station among her elders."
"Shockingly," Ian replied sarcastically, "that's not what happened. Besides, it would've been weird considering that she's adopted Henry's Great-Grandson Harry as her little brother."
Koyomi chewed her nigiri thoughtfully, while Lyra frowned, remembering days gone by, and watching the events of one night in particular with horror and sorrow.
"A kami, adopting a mortal as kin? Has there been any talk of dissuading her from such? She is divinity after all, no matter how minor at present."
Ian smiled and shook his head at Koyomi.
"No, not so much as a whisper of it. I think everyone has learned their lesson from what happened with Princess Kaguya."
Koyomi nodded in approval and returned to her food, meanwhile Lyra refilled her mug of port.
"So, what do you think of the girl? Been a while since we've had a girl in the Potter Tree."
"She's a sensible girl. And she had a very level-headed upbringing even before she came across Harry. Her two attendants are an orphaned sunflower and spring spirit, and going by their conversation I suspect that she's looking to adopt one of the librarians."
Lyra nodded in approval.
"Yep. Potter all right. She's already collecting."
"Tut-tut Lyra," Koyomi chided, "do not say such things. She is a kami. It is only natural that she selects those she finds worthy of serving her court."
"Uh-huh. And how fast does that normally take? She doesn't even have more than a decade under her belt. And under a week into her first Kamiazuki and here she has two, likely three? And they are lost souls with nothing spectacular to their name, nor any good prospects, such that no other kami would have thought twice about ignoring them?"
"…Diligence and Compassion are admirable traits in a sovereign and a kami. It does not mean that she is 'collecting' anything. Besides, one does not 'collect' people. Nor is 'collecting' a familial trait."
Lyra stared deadpan to her co-wife. Then pinched the bridge of her nose.
"Right. I'll give you something of a pass because you never visited the family estate in England, but Keiko did in 1952 to collect Ian's ashes, and if that Hone-Onna were here she'd explain – in detail – exactly how wrong you are. HOWEVER! I can prove that Potters collect people when they can't collect things! First of all, what was little Harry's Waifu Count Ian?"
"I think you need to cut back on your anime if you're going to use words like that Lyra."
Lyra acted as if he actually answered.
"Exactly, a Fuck Ton! And then there's the unmistakable proof that is our life story. And afterlife story! Have you seen the number of wives and fuck-buddies Ian here collects?"
Koyomi raised a finger as if to make a point… And after a pregnant pause lowered it, saying nothing. Lyra took this as a victory and proceeded to smile smugly.
------
Juuchi jerked to the side, looking for someone. For she felt as though someone was encroaching on her territory.
------
"I'll admit." Ian mused, "ever since I came to Japan all those years ago, I became some sort of paragon of the Young Male's Fantasy. First it was you and your friends Koyomi, then there was that Jorogumo, then after I got engaged to Lyra-"
"Pray, husband," Koyomi interjected, raising a hand to catch his attention, "a moment. Did you say that you bedded a Jorogumo in life? And lived."
Ian paused mid-chew, exhibiting an unhealthy lack of damns to give for the claim he had just made.
"…Yes?"
"…I believe the term in the West is 'Bullshit.' The legends make it very clear that one does not simply fuck a Jorogumo."
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Japan, 1881
"Mmm… Ah…. AHhh! AHHH Sweet mystery of life at last I've found you! / AAAAAAT LAAST I know the Secret of it AA~AAALLL!"
------
"But… I did."
Lyra was visibly deep in the proverbial rabbit hole, mouthing things to the effect of 'spider sex' before smiling lewdly and grabbing her notebook. Meanwhile, Koyomi stared at her husband. And then considered who she was talking to. And sighed in resignation.
"…Indeed. Considering that the legends also say that Yuki-Onna universally lead men to die in the snow, I suppose that even the more dangerous of yokai have more nuance to their existence. And given how they are like my race in that they consist solely of women, it is only natural that there are men out there – no matter how few – that do not mind the excess chitinous limbs in their lovers."
Ian nodded in agreement, and then paused mid-bite.
"You know… I think she may have come by our farm once, a few months later."
Koyomi looked to her husband startled, hand to her mouth in much belated concern, while Lyra looked up from where she was no doubt writing something obscene.
"How could you know Ian? More importantly, how could you not tell us that there was a Jorogumo so close to the children!"
The human spirit scratched the back of his head, thinking back to an event over a hundred and thirty years in the past.
"Well, I left her with a bag of provisions, she said that she was hungry when she caught me so I left her with my supplies, then telling her about the farm. I mean, I could see ribs in her side so she needed it a lot more than I did. Anyway, Chiho, Sora and me were in the woods to avoid the children when we were interrupted by a crash, and I figured it was a bear so I went to investigate. There were some knocked over trees, and I found my supply bag. I figure that she might have come to return it, though I don't know why she ran off rather than call out. I mean, it's not like we would've been mistaken for someone dangerous."
Ian looked at his wives… And was surprised to see their unimpressed expressions.
"What?"
"Lyra, would you explain this, or shall I?"
"I'll do it – Ian? After you screwed the spider-lady, and selflessly left her all the food you had in your possession, she wanted more of your Good Touch. So she follows your trail and what does she find? You screwing two women in the middle of the woods. Likely after concocting a mental image of you that didn't involve two other women. Or more. And thus, broken hearted, she ran off. End scene."
Ian looked between his wives, and sighed with regret.
"I suppose that's understandable. No matter how hungry she might have been, I'm well aware that it's extremely rare to find a woman willing to share a man." He said without the slightest bit of irony in his tone, "Still, I wish she could have met with me. We could have found a place for her with us. And with the war and the yokai reserves… I doubt she's even alive now…"
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Shinjuku, At that Moment.
A busty woman, apparently in her late twenties, looked in the storage unit, one like it's millions of siblings across the world. The size of the ubiquitous U-Haul van, it had enough room to hold a college graduate's worldly belongings to their first crummy apartment. But despite all of that volume, it was filled to capacity with various statues, paintings, and other artistic works she and her late mother collected at the younger woman's behest over the better part of a century. Some of which she was preeetty sure was Nazis loot, considering how jittery the German guy was when she bought some of the items in 1947. With a sigh, she closed the shutter door and locked it. Rent was due. And while she could afford it (barely), her unit was getting cramped, and she had no intent to sell any of it.
The woman went home to her loft apartment. Locking the door and closing the blinds, she took off her pants to allow her lower body the liberty to change into its natural shape of a spider the size of a Volkswagen Beetle. After taking a few stretches, she walked over to her desk. According to what she had read, the town of Yamainutaira was a Yokai boom town, where Yokai could mingle with humans with nigh-impunity (or so the rumor mill said). Maybe they'd be interested in an art museum? Although… From what she read, it was a pretty blue-collar sort of place. But then again, the brochure she picked up at the rail station had a few local sites that seemed touristy. Niche touristy to be honest…
Then again, the sorts interested in local rural history were usually interested in anything that was old! It wasn't like she needed a full-sized museum, a tiny gallery space would free up a lot of space for her. The town would get something to appeal to city-slickers and folks passing through, plus have something to enrich the local culture, maybe even educate the local kids without having to pay for a long-ass field trip! And she'd get her collection out of the storage unit (and ideally close the lease on it), and she'd also get some income to support her passion – her Spider Silk Thread Sculptures. Hell, if she played her cards right, the Aristocrats still holding the land just might decide to become her patrons!
"…Okay, that would be a stretch goal. A 'nice to have' and nothing more. Come on Suzuno, focus on the likely!
"So… Do I send a letter to the Hokubu, since they're the big shot family there? Or do I send it to the town council?" she blew a lock of her utterly unmanageable hair out of her eye, "Maybe both…?"
------
Ian Potter shook his head, leaving regrets in the past where they belonged. "Now then… There is… one thing of more immediate importance to the family. – Lady Kuraokami was at the restaurant today-."
"Mmm!" Lyra sighed hungrily, "Now there's a treat I'd love for you to bring home Ian. Those tits! That ass!"
"Well, that could very well happen. During the act she asked for me to father her child."
Things got quiet, Koyomi stroked her chin in thought… While Lyra smiled in a way that teetered between lewd and affectionate, her thoughts likely see-sawing between the act of making the child and the child itself.
"I at first thought it was just an affect of the afterglow, that she was saying things she wouldn't otherwise say. But… No. She has wanted to be a mother for some time, and she wants the father to be me."
"This is unexpected." The Yuki-Onna pondered aloud, "She is one of the direct relatives of Amaterasu, Granddaughter of Izanagi and Izanami themselves. Do not misunderstand Husband, you are both a marvelous companion and an affectionate lover, any woman would do well to seek you out. And you are a part of Lady Kuraokami's court besides, but why should she choose you of all spirits and kami to sire her offspring, when she has prospects that would be much closer to her station?"
Lyra nodded in agreement.
"Yeah. I've seen her in the baths. Not the trimmed down form she uses while holding court to keep guys from drooling, I mean the form she uses as her chosen default figure. If she's been wanting kids there is no reason why she shouldn't have a miniature nursery of children by now."
Ian sighed.
"Well, the answer to that question stems from… From her birth."
Lyra's eyes narrowed in confusion, while Koyomi's widened in realization before she hung her head in sorrowful understanding. Lyra looked between her husband and her co-wife before speaking up.
"Okay, for the ignorant foreigner in the room, could someone give me the basics?"
Koyomi looked to Lyra, then Ian, then back down to her half-finished plate of food.
"Lady Kuraokami… The patroness, creator and protector of my race… Her birth, was not something that was celebrated.
"It is said that Lady Izanami was pregnant once again, and all of Heaven was joyful. However, the kami in her womb was the kami of fire, Kago-Tsuchi. So great were his flames, that the very act of birthing him was enough to kill Izanami. Enraged with grief, Izanagi, the boy's father, drew his sword and slew the infant. And from the blood that dripped off his sword and struck the ground sprang Watasumi Sanjin of the Sea, now called Ryujin and his sister, Kuraokami, Kami of Cold, Darkness, and Rain."
"She said as much," Ian nodded in agreement, "'I was born from the spilled blood of my murdered infant father, unjustly slain by grandfather for the accidental death of my grandmother, an act my father could not control.' Apparently, every time she decided to bring up children with her boyfriend du jur, the circumstances of her birth apparently always came to mind and… Well, the relationship soon died after that. They just couldn't get over how she was born of the murder of a murderer. They likely assumed that any children of hers would be similarly cursed."
Lyra scoffed in surrogate offense.
"Bollocks! Bleeding bollocks is what that is! If she was cursed, I'm pretty sure it would have been obvious by now."
"Agreed," Koyomi said with a nod, "The intervening centuries have put paid to such notions of any curse other than the tragic timing of Fate."
"Besides, why is it the sister that's being made a pariah? Didn't you say that her brother is Ryujin? How much pussy has he gotten to have all those kids? I certainly don't see any signs of curses in that bloodline."
"How long has Lady Kuraokami desired motherhood Ian?"
Ian stirred his dinner with his chopsticks as his brought up the details of the conversation in his mind, pondering how much of what was told in confidence and intimacy he was at liberty to say. But… These were his wives. They could be trusted to keep discrete.
"Kura mentioned that the first real urge to have a child of her own was… Was seeing Amaterasu when she was pregnant with her first child. That 'maternal glow' you could say."
Koyomi stared wide-eyed for a moment before bowing her head in empathy.
"Ten-thousand years of longing. At the least."
The table grew quiet as the dead spirits of mortals contemplated the aching sorrow of the Eternal. Suddenly, Lyra's face drew up in a cheeky smile and planted her fist into her open palm.
"Right then! Ian, when is Lady Kuraokami coming over for the baby-making booty call? Tomorrow? Next week? Or will it be after Kamiazuki? I'll need time to get things ready. There're the scented candles, the rose petals, the mood lighting, then I need to decide on the soundtrack – Marvin Gaye? Luthor Vandross? Barry White? Oh! and of course, there's the chocolate fondant to acquire, and the ropes if we get to feeling kinky. OOH! And I'm going to need a whole new notebook! This sort of thing is exactly what I have been wanting to try in one of my books! 'A proud noblewoman, longing for a child and heir, turns to one of the lower-ranked members of her court – and his lovely wives of course – and they all work to help the noblewoman become with child in a night of a passionate five participant-!'"
"Actually Lyra," Ian somberly, but not maliciously, "it very well could be that she decides not to conceive by me after all. I told her to think long and hard on it before she committed."
"Well why not Ian?" she asked, looking much put upon, "We've already established that she wants children by you. And you love being a father! So if the both of you are shagging with the intent of conceiving it should be in the bag, as it were."
"Well… As I told her, if she wants me to be the father of her child, or children, then she and I cannot continue on as we have. Things would have to become… Serious. You know very well that I can't knowingly father a child and just ignore it."
Koyomi smiled warmly, holding a hand to her cheek as she visited to a long-ago time.
"Indeed Husband. It is one of your most noble traits."
"Right. So while I won't force her to marry me unless that's genuinely what she wants, the point is that we will be in effect. Now, what do you think that means? What was our homelife like during our stays in Japan Lyra?"
His human wife just nodded in understanding in lieu of an answer.
"So. I won't deny you or Koyomi or any of the others when their time comes if any of you want to join us. But at the same time, I don't want a woman whom I love and who is the mother of one of my children to feel forced into things she genuinely isn't comfortable with. For one thing, it isn't fair to her, and for another, it would be the height of hypocrisy on my part given that the only things I ever did deny you women, which you accepted without an argument, was involving a second man, or the off-label use of… Ahem, 'alternative conceptual aids' while with me.
"Those are the ground rules I gave her – If we do this, I'll be present as the child's father all his or her life. But at the same time, she and I cannot be fuck-buddies and nothing more anymore. With all that will imply. And I told her to take as much time as she needed to come to a decision over the matter."
His wives looked at him, then at each other, then back to their husband. In time Koyomi nodded in ascent, and Lyra crossed her arms over her flat chest bashfully.
"It is a fair and forthright set of terms, as is your way. Very well, it shall be as you wish Husband."
"Come on Ian, you make me out to be some sort of deviant."
"That is because you are," was the reply in stereo.
"…A fair cop. But it's not like I would've forced myself! If it bothers her so much, I wouldn't even be in the room."
"For the first night."
"…"
"After that you'd want to watch. And after that it's only a matter of time before you get handsy."
"Fine, Ian, I get the idea…"
"When will we hear from Lady Kuraokami regarding her decision Husband?"
Ian sighed, and took advantage of the last of his sushi to buy him time to consider the question before answering.
"It's an open offer Koyomi. We could hear from her as early as tomorrow morning, or any time after that."
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Also, Lord K I hope this doesn't bungle any plans of yours should I go forward with Suzuno.
) Anyways their plan was to cause mass destruction to the city of New York by making a suicide pact and bringing down a plane inside NYC.