"Ah. Good." Frankenstein grunts in acknowledgement as I emerge from my room in the morning. Mash is still fast asleep on the couch. "You're up."
"Ah. Yes, I most certainly am." Caesar's out talking to the still-living residents of the apartment complex, while Cu, Georgios, and Cursed Arm are on perimeter watch, while Paracelsus is turning this place into even more of a deathtrap. As such, the only Servants in the room besides me are Asterios and Anderson, who's manning the radio. "What brings you to the apartment, Mr. Frankenstein?"
"I have a hypothesis, and I require your aid in proving it." the great titan of a man informs me, pulling back a chair for himself and taking a seat.
"Of what sort?" I ask, claiming a chair for myself.
"Tell me, what strikes you about the various enemies we have faced in London thus far?" he asks. "At least, the ones that are not Servants."
I think about it, but the answer is an easy one. "They're all manufactured. Each of them is a form of artificial life, or at least an automated facsimile thereof."
"Precisely!" Frankenstein agrees. "But, a further division became apparent to me when we faced Paracelsus. The proto-homunculi were magical in origin, created through magecraft, while the automata and helter-skelters both cleaved towards the mechanical sciences instead. A specialist in one cannot also specialize in the other. Most especially not Paracelsus. Of those few times in which his magecraft intersected with actual scientific study, he leaned more to the chemical and biological sciences. Nothing that would permit him to create functioning mechanical lifeforms."
"Robots." I mutter, prompting Frankenstein to raise an eyebrow. "Ah... a term for mechanical servitors, popularized by the science fiction writer Isaac Asimov in... I want to say the 40s?"
"Sounds like an interesting fellow," he comments with a grin. "He any good?"
"Fairly, although by the time I was around his books had kind of aged a bit poorly." I offer up.
"Well, at least I can count on some halfway decent entertainment, if you, by some miracle, actually stop the Incineration," Frankenstein notes wryly. "Any other authors to be on the lookout for? I'm rather partial to the genre of speculative fiction."
"H. G. Wells, Jules Verne-"
"He's already a thing, actually."
"Oh, neat. H. P. Lovecraft is a fairly good writer, if you can get past the inveterate racism. Can't really think of any other really good sci-fi writers or works off the top of my head, unless you count
Edison's Conquest of Mars, and that one's really only good for ironic reasons." I pause. "Oh, but Robert Louis Stevenson's good, although he might actually be still alive and writing right now, and if you make it to the 60s and 70s, you might want to keep an eye out for this movie called
Star Wars."
"What's a movie?" he asks, before holding up a hand to forestall my explanation. "No, wait, we're getting wildly off-topic here. What I meant to point out is that while the homunculi were almost certainly the product of Paracelsus' efforts, I believe that the 'robots' have a completely different source. And I think I know just who it is."
"All right. So, what do you need us to do, then?"
"I'm going to need to take a look at one of the Helter-Skelters, without interruption, in order to determine if it is indeed Charles' work. Can you and your cadre of bodyguards provide that?"
"Without a doubt."
"Excellent. I'll ready my tools." At that, he rises, and hurries off towards his own apartment.
I suppose that I should check in on the others.
'
Caesar, how goes the home front?' I send.
'
I'll tell you in person, I was already heading up anyways.' he replies.
He returns to the apartment only a minute or two after I contacted him, red cloak trailing behind him, and then takes the seat Frankenstein just vacated. Anderson continues his vigil over the radio, still keeping an eye on us, while Asterios is still sleeping in the corner.
"So, Master, shall we compare notes?" he calls in greeting.
"I led off last time, so its your turn to start us off," I inform him. "How're the defenses going?"
"Quite well, actually. Paracelsus has informed me that they would quite swiftly end the life of anyone who dared to set foot in our domain." He waves a hand dismissively. "But, more importantly, I've managed to win over the complex's residents. They've generally embraced us as their protectors, and, as a result, a sort of communal spirit has formed, under our direction. By pooling our resources, and enforcing eminent domain on one or two hoarders, we've managed to gather enough food to last us a week. A month, if we
really stretch it out."
"I'm.,. honestly surprised that you managed to talk them around. I don't think I gave them the best first impression."
"Oh, trust me, you didn't." Caesar says, with an undercurrent of suppressed laughter. "But that actually worked in our favor. Since you came off as an unreasonable, unstoppable force of nature that was at least
slightly insane, I could operate as the softer touch. I get to look like the reasonable one, and like I really care about them and am on their side, while the unspoken threat that if I can't manage to properly negotiate,
you'll get involved still lingers. Your complete lack of anything resembling tact or restraint has been a huge boon, actually."
"I'm not sure if that was a compliment or not." I mutter. "So, basically, I stay uninvolved, and you keep them happy and all working on the same page?"
"Precisely. Mostly because I presented you as a bit of an unstable loose cannon."
"Yeah, yeah, good cop, bad cop." I sigh. "All right, my turn."
I go over the events to date, and Caesar mostly remains silent.
Finally, once my summary of our recent engagements, and my thoughts on the matter, concludes, he speaks up.
"So, you've disposed of Paracelsus, and neutralized Jack the Ripper." he mulls it over for a second. "And now, you're aiming to shut down the Helter Skelters." He sighs and shakes his head. "I'm still not entirely sure I like this."
"Why?"
"I feel like..." he sighs. "Never mind. Just paranoia, really. Our two sources, Paracelsus and Frankenstein, are just a mite too shady for my liking."
"Fair enough." I agree. "But it's not like there's a plethora of intel to back them up."
"What about the Mage's Association?" Anderson interjects from where he sits. "I rather wished to gather intelligence from there, and if any group in this era could survive under the Fog, it would be them. They might be able to confirm the stories we've been given, and may prove valuable allies."
Huh. To tell the truth, I haven't much liked what I've heard of the Association so far in my time at Chaldea, but I suppose that if there was ever a time for them to step up and actually use those Mysteries they've been compulsively hoarding for generations, it would be now. "It's worth a shot, I suppose."
"Excellent!" Anderson agrees in that smooth baritone of his. "I will wish to accompany you, of course."
"Fine by me. We'll add it to the itinerary after we're done with Frankenstein's examination of the Helter-Skelter." I think it over for a second. "Radio Jekyll and Mordred. Tell them what we're planning on doing, and ask if they're interested in joining us."
"Will do."
I turn back towards Caesar. "You alright with this?"
"Yes, actually. Same team composition as before?"
"Yep. Georgios' EX-Level Magic Resistance could definitely come in handy. Same goes for Cursed Arm's scouting capabilities, and Asterios' navigation skills. You fine with Cu and Paracelsus?"
"Yes. In all honesty, I could probably get by with just Paracelsus, but why chance it?"
"True. Okay then. Let's wake Mash up, tell Frankenstein and the others about the plan change, and get this show on the road!"
---
The Helter Skelter is easily secured, and Frankenstein's analysis of it is soon over, marked by him chopping the unfortunate machine in half with a cry of inarticulate
rage.
"So... do you know who's behind these things now?" I ask from where I stand behind him, as the Servants run interference.
"
Yes." he practically growls, turning his unnatural yellow gaze on me. "I know exactly who's making these damn things. The craftsmanship is unmistakable."
"Okay. So, what's got you so nettled, then?"
He grabs my head and drags me forwards, to look at the now-smashed innards of the Helter-Skelter. "Do you see this?"
"Yes, I see it, now could you let me go? This position is very uncomfortable."
He releases me, and I fall flat on my face, narrowly avoiding the jagged bits of broken robot as he turns and paces angrily, making a noise like a boiling teakettle. "It! Should! Not! Work!"
"Well, obviously, you chopped it in half." I grumble as I get up to my feet.
"No, it shouldn't have worked even
before I chopped it in half!" Frankenstein rants, gesturing wildly towards the already dissipating fragments of the Helter Skelter. "That utterly ridiculous atrocity against mechanical science was
steam powered."
"Wait, what? How did that work, then?"
"IT. SHOULDN'T." he growls, kicking the curb so hard it breaks. "In fact, the entire thing is a massive exercise in inefficiency and terrible design choices. The servos and complex operations necessary, not to mention the difference engine that it would require to function in combat, wouldn't fit in its frame. Beyond that, since it's steam powered, it requires a constant source of heat. It doesn't have the space for a proper boiler, in fact, it should simply have run out of fuel in seconds! The only way to make this thing function would be to somehow invent some kind of device that warps the fabric of spacetime to make it bigger on the inside, and if you can do that, why the flying FUCK are you trying to make automated soldiers with STEAM POWER?"
"So, it's magic." I summarize.
"EXACTLY!" he roars. "It functions exclusively on hand-waving aside the very laws of physics, and is easily the biggest technological dead-end I've ever seen! And there's only
one inventor in all the world so singularly obsessed with the scientific cul-de-sac that is steam power that he'd mass-produce an army of steam-driven automata, even if they could only function through BLATANT ACTS OF WIZARDRY!
Charles Babbage."
"I take it that you two don't exactly get along?"
"No. No we did not." Frankenstein growls, hands tight around his axe. "And he's dead, I went to the cemetery he's buried in to piss on his grave myself, which means that he actually qualified as a Heroic Spirit." at that point, he just devolves in pure angrish.
"Well, if it makes you feel any better, we don't really use steam power for anything anymore by my time." I offer up, which makes his face brighten considerably.
"Really?"
"Yep. Almost entirely obsolete. It got outpaced by fossil fuels and electricity in the early 20th century."
"So
I was right." he gloats, grinning like a loon. "And, better yet, I get to rub it in his face! Never mind what I said before,
this is perfect."
"Glad you're feeling better." I say, patting him on the back. '
Alright gents, pack the battle line up, we're heading forwards to the Association.'
"I say!" a familiar voice calls. "That was a splendid fight you chaps put up! You actually look like you know how things work around here!"
I turn, and see the one and only William Shakespeare making his way down the street, towards the rightmost of the two lines of battle, the one manned by Galahad and Cursed Arm.
"I mention your apparently excellent command of the situation, because I'm slightly confused, and would really like to know
just what the Hell is going on right now!" the Bard of Avon snaps, looking quite thoroughly strung out.
'
He might be a plant from Project Demonic Fog.' Galahad sends mentally.
'
You really think they'd bother? It's Shakespeare. Besides, I can't really see him signing on with the villain's team unless they had a really interesting story to them, and I somehow doubt that's the case here.'
'
Fine. Then do we really have to put up with him?' Galahad wheedles.
'
He's currently a helpless noncombatant. You really sure you can turn your back on him, Sir Knight?'
He stops, mulling it over for a second or two, before sighing. '
I hate when you're right.'
I grin and walk forward. "Well met and welcome aboard, Mr. Shakespeare! We'd be happy to tell you what we've managed to deduce so far, but we are on a schedule, and we really do need to get to the Mages' Association as swiftly as possible. You're welcome to join us, though."
"I do believe I shall take you up on that kind offer, Mister..."
"Flynn."
"Ah! An Irishman! I wouldn't have guessed from that accent."
"American, actually. Shall we talk as we walk?"
---
The trek to the Association's headquarters in the British Museum takes time, more than enough time for me to get Shakespeare up to speed. With that taken care of, I redirect my attention towards Galahad.
'
So, why don't you like Shakespeare?' I ask.
'
You mean aside from the fact that he's annoying?' Galahad replies with a snort.
'
You don't refuse to save people.' I reply. '
You strike out against them if you consider them unjust, but I don't think I've ever seen you refuse to save an ally or an innocent. You don't do
murder by inaction from what I've observed of you. So, if you're initially refusing to defend Shakespeare, in spite of him pretty much fitting the archetype of people you're supposed to be protecting to a T, then it's not just because you find him annoying.'
He doesn't reply for a long moment. '
So. I guess you do actually know me pretty well.'
'
You're the Servant I spend the most time with. Of course I actually paid attention to how you behave.' I shoot back indignantly. '
Although I'll admit that most of my initial observation of you was so I'd have some advanced warning if you ever snapped and tried to kill me.' Right, time to get back on topic. '
So. What's your beef with Shakespeare?'
'
Fine. If you really want to know, I dislike him because he decided to write Mash out of his play.' Galahad snaps, his shoulders tensing. '
She has enough self-esteem issues without that over-exposed hack adding onto the pile, no thanks to you.'
'
Okay, I'll definitely have to talk to him about that, but hold on for a sec. What self-esteem issues?'
'
You know damn well-' his angry tirade is cut off by Mordred cheerfully hailing us from where he stands besides Dr. Jekyll, waving in greeting at Galahad. '
We'll finish this later.'
He breaks off ahead to greet his fellow knight in turn, leaving me to contemplate the point he'd raised. Why would Mash have self-esteem issues?
Well, I mean, there was that bit where she lost her Servant abilities, and had to hand over her body to someone who did her job better than she did, effectively taking away her means of contributing to Chaldea's war effort. And how I haven't really paid much attention to her since... well, ever. But that's probably fine, we've only ever been friendly acquaintances at most. Although, now that I think about it, she
does look like I just slapped her every time I accidentally call her by Galahad's name. But it's not like I do that all that often! It's only... let me see... almost three times a day, now that I think about it. For the last month.
You know, when I put it that way, I can kind of see Galahad's point. Also, I might be a terrible person.
So yeah. I definitely need to spend more time with Mash, and I might actually be the absolute worst. But I have to set that aside for now.
The Association awaits.