Cup Noodles, Pt. 4
TripleMRed
Versed in the lewd.
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Zetch wasn't what you would call the average bandit. Oh, sure, he looted, he pillaged, and ever so occasionally he torched and burned. But he was more than that: He had dreams! Aspirations! He wanted to be someone who did something that mattered, not being satisfied with the day in, day out drudgeries of normal looting and pillaging life. He wanted to be out there, changing lives and doing something that he would be remembered for!
Needless to say, being huddled against a shield wall as explosive cannon rounds and balls of burning tar were flung at him wasn't his idea of making a name for himself.
"Damn it, where is our support!?" Zetch demanded to know. The invasion of Shellfort had started the night before, an entire army of bandits, brigands, and neir-do-wells who were lured in from far and wide with the promises of riches and notoriety, with the added bonus that no Heroes or Adventurers ever came around to this region due to Shellfort's stubborn isolationism. The way it had been marketed to them, it sounded like an easy job.
Exactly 12 hours later with the full moon given way to the rising morning sun, hundreds, possibly thousands of their make shift brothers and sisters in arms were dead or dying, while the numerically smaller but entrenched and powerful Shellfort machine men had yet to lose any of their numbers. It was now the afternoon, and yet more bodies were added to the muddy pile. Metaphorically in a pile. Literally, they were spread all around, many in several pieces.
"What?!" A younger looking bandit next to Zetch yelled out, trying to hear what he had asked over the sounds of explosives drowning out everything els.e
"I said, 'where is our fucking support!?'" Zetch had to grab the younger bandit and yell in his ear to be understood. The younger man blinked.
"Didn't you hear, boss man? We are the support!" Zetch's blood turned to ice in his veins.
"WHAT!?"
"We're the distraction, ya see!" The younger man explained without actually going into further detail. Zetch slapped his hand over his face. Of course. He already knew it, but this just sealed the deal: It had been too good to be true. They were never meant to succeed or survive, much less get paid.
"Fuck this, I'm leaving!"
"I wouldn't do that, sir." The younger bandit told Zetch. The older bandit narrowed his eyes at the younger one.
"And why would that be?" As if to answer his question, another bandit lost her nerve and immediatly started to run towards the backline of the battlefield, intending to make a break for it. The rabbit woman was fast, but she didn't make it far when a sudden blast of energy came down from above and atomized her, leaving only a crater of smoldering glass in the muddy ground. Zetch's head snapped up to look at the origin of the blast, and his already frozen blood somehow grew colder still: There, looming over their battle lines where he hadn't been noticieable until now, was a wolf eared man wearing only a pair of long, baggy pants and an open sleeveless jacket. He hovered over the air, arms crossed behind his head in an almost bored manner, flat out ignoring the weapon's fire that was aimed at him.
A Fallen Hero. They had a Fallen Hero backing them up. Or rather, making sure they stuck to the plan.
"Why the hell isn't he doing anything!?" Zetch hissed in increasing agitation.
"Oh, didn't you know?" Zetch was already growing tired of this routine. "He's not here to distract anyone, he's here for after!"
"'After'?"
"Yup! No witnesses!" Zetch just stared at the younger man in a mixture of horror and disgust.
"Why are you so cheerful about this!?"
"Oh, well, I never got a chance to die before, so this whole thing sounds like an exciting new experience!" Zetch slid unto his backside and leaned against the shield wall, hands covering his face as he groaned. What a rotten day.
-
"So, since we had eggs for appetizers, we thought we should make something a little healthier for lunch proper!" Alyxia uttered as she showed off an assortment of salads, fruit medley's, and some sort of pie with a non sugary filling.
"Go ahead and give it a whirl, bud." Toyo stated.
"Whirling before or after eating isn't reccommended." Kevin piped up. "It makes you lose your lunch!"
"Er, yes, bud, it's just a figure of speech."
"I know!" Toyo blinked and it was then that he saw the mischivious grin on Kevin's face. He laughed before batting his hand towards him.
"Just get ta eating and tell us what'cha think." It didn't take long for Kevin to tear through the lunches. The salads were a bit of a slow start, but after he mixed them with the fruit medley's, they disappeared in short order. The not-pie, some sort of spinache, egg and cheese abomination against culinary heaven called a 'Quiche', was also quick to follow suit.
"s'good." Kevin declared matter o factually like he hadn't just eaten a meal for four twice over in the span of less than a half hour. Well, at least you couldn't argue he didn't have an appetite-wait, what?
"Kevin, er, what are you doing?" Alyxia asked in the most maternal tone she could muster.
"Dessert!"
"Kevin, that's your milk and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhich you normally eat."
"Yup, and now they're dessert!" Toyo had to laugh again before an idea came to mind. A sly grin of his own formed over his face.
"Oh, but you can't eat desert yet." Toyo declared.
"He/I can't?" Alyxia and Kevin's response came in near perfect stereo.
"Nope! Because I've got one more item for you to try!" With that, Toyo reached into his patened holding bag and took out.....A large bowl of some kind. Alyxia just raised an eyebrow while Kevin 'oooh'd as he quirked his head.
"What is that?" Alyxia almost sounded like she was demanding to know.
"Cup Noodles." Toyo launched into explaination. "They're this new thing in the big cities and are a big trend in the surrounding regions. They come in all kinds of varieties." He took out and balanced an additional two more in his arms. He smiled. "I figured we could all share a meal together, since 'lunch' was mostly just watching you eat, buddy." Kevin's dark skin suddenly fleshed a bright red as he realized he had left nothing for his friends to eat.
"I'm so, so sorry!" He declared, bowing at them so deeply, his head smacked against the ground. A perfect impression of his face was left in the dirt, much to the soil's honor.
"Think nothing of it, we made it for you to eat, remember?" The Goblin male declared as he handed out a chicken variant to Alyxia, kept a beef one for himself, and handed a spicy vegetarian one to Kevin. The younger, puppy faced male looked over the strange bowl he'd been given, wondering how it worked. He then noticed some sort of knob on the underside, with instructions saying 'turn twice and wait for steam. Wait 30 seconds and enjoy.' "Fancy, right? City folk have all sorts of inventive uses for magic these days." With that, everyone from the curious Kevin, to the skeptical Alyx, turned the knobs and waited as instructed. As steam poured out from the thin, ceramic covering on top of the bowls, Kevin's eyes widened with amazement at the incredible device in his hands.
Alyxia and Toyo both shared an amused look. The kid could probably turn the planet inside out with his mind, but something as smallscale and simple as this still left him with wonder. It was an adorable sight.
"Alright, that's thirty seconds." Toyo handed out a pair of stick like eating utensils to everyone. They opened their meals and dug in. Toyo used his eating sticks with experienced dexterity; Alyxia was clearly familiar with them, though not as used to them, eating more slowly and thoughtfully chewing on the meal. Kevin, meanwhile, stuck both sticks in at the same time and whirled them around like a fork, causing the noodles to ball around the sticks against the order of man and nature. He gave the noodle ball a test sniff, before taking a test bite. One chew. Two. His eyes lit up in a way that was unlike any reaction to any meal up until then. The young man practically exploded out of his floating sitting position and let out a whoop before floating back down, enjoying the meal with gusto and, to his friends surprise, taking his time with it the same way he took his time with his PB&J sandwhiches.
"This is amazing, Toyo! What's in it?"
"Oh, you know," Toyo glanced at the packaging for his own cup-bowl, reading the words that declared '500% more MSG than competeing brands!' "Good stuff." He said with a smile. Kevin just smiled as he ate before taking out his musical device and focusing on it.
The music that flowed out from it was unlike anything they had heard from Kevin yet, not the least of which because of the....Interesting lyrics.
'Damn cup noodles, you looking so fine, thinking about you all of the time!'
"Hope you guys like music with your lunch!"
"It's....Certainly appropriate." Alyxia laughed joyfully. "We should make this our themesong."
"Really?" Alyxia froze. She had meant it as a joke. She didn't actually intend, or even want, for their little group to have such an.....interesting song as their lietmotif. But as she looked at Kevin to let him down gently, the look in his eyes told her how excited he was for her to not be joking.
"....Yes." Alyxia blurted out quickly as to not have second thoughts and deny Kevin this. Kevin's eyes started to water as he sniffed and smiled at his friends.
"Best lunch ever!" What a wonderful day.
Needless to say, being huddled against a shield wall as explosive cannon rounds and balls of burning tar were flung at him wasn't his idea of making a name for himself.
"Damn it, where is our support!?" Zetch demanded to know. The invasion of Shellfort had started the night before, an entire army of bandits, brigands, and neir-do-wells who were lured in from far and wide with the promises of riches and notoriety, with the added bonus that no Heroes or Adventurers ever came around to this region due to Shellfort's stubborn isolationism. The way it had been marketed to them, it sounded like an easy job.
Exactly 12 hours later with the full moon given way to the rising morning sun, hundreds, possibly thousands of their make shift brothers and sisters in arms were dead or dying, while the numerically smaller but entrenched and powerful Shellfort machine men had yet to lose any of their numbers. It was now the afternoon, and yet more bodies were added to the muddy pile. Metaphorically in a pile. Literally, they were spread all around, many in several pieces.
"What?!" A younger looking bandit next to Zetch yelled out, trying to hear what he had asked over the sounds of explosives drowning out everything els.e
"I said, 'where is our fucking support!?'" Zetch had to grab the younger bandit and yell in his ear to be understood. The younger man blinked.
"Didn't you hear, boss man? We are the support!" Zetch's blood turned to ice in his veins.
"WHAT!?"
"We're the distraction, ya see!" The younger man explained without actually going into further detail. Zetch slapped his hand over his face. Of course. He already knew it, but this just sealed the deal: It had been too good to be true. They were never meant to succeed or survive, much less get paid.
"Fuck this, I'm leaving!"
"I wouldn't do that, sir." The younger bandit told Zetch. The older bandit narrowed his eyes at the younger one.
"And why would that be?" As if to answer his question, another bandit lost her nerve and immediatly started to run towards the backline of the battlefield, intending to make a break for it. The rabbit woman was fast, but she didn't make it far when a sudden blast of energy came down from above and atomized her, leaving only a crater of smoldering glass in the muddy ground. Zetch's head snapped up to look at the origin of the blast, and his already frozen blood somehow grew colder still: There, looming over their battle lines where he hadn't been noticieable until now, was a wolf eared man wearing only a pair of long, baggy pants and an open sleeveless jacket. He hovered over the air, arms crossed behind his head in an almost bored manner, flat out ignoring the weapon's fire that was aimed at him.
A Fallen Hero. They had a Fallen Hero backing them up. Or rather, making sure they stuck to the plan.
"Why the hell isn't he doing anything!?" Zetch hissed in increasing agitation.
"Oh, didn't you know?" Zetch was already growing tired of this routine. "He's not here to distract anyone, he's here for after!"
"'After'?"
"Yup! No witnesses!" Zetch just stared at the younger man in a mixture of horror and disgust.
"Why are you so cheerful about this!?"
"Oh, well, I never got a chance to die before, so this whole thing sounds like an exciting new experience!" Zetch slid unto his backside and leaned against the shield wall, hands covering his face as he groaned. What a rotten day.
-
"So, since we had eggs for appetizers, we thought we should make something a little healthier for lunch proper!" Alyxia uttered as she showed off an assortment of salads, fruit medley's, and some sort of pie with a non sugary filling.
"Go ahead and give it a whirl, bud." Toyo stated.
"Whirling before or after eating isn't reccommended." Kevin piped up. "It makes you lose your lunch!"
"Er, yes, bud, it's just a figure of speech."
"I know!" Toyo blinked and it was then that he saw the mischivious grin on Kevin's face. He laughed before batting his hand towards him.
"Just get ta eating and tell us what'cha think." It didn't take long for Kevin to tear through the lunches. The salads were a bit of a slow start, but after he mixed them with the fruit medley's, they disappeared in short order. The not-pie, some sort of spinache, egg and cheese abomination against culinary heaven called a 'Quiche', was also quick to follow suit.
"s'good." Kevin declared matter o factually like he hadn't just eaten a meal for four twice over in the span of less than a half hour. Well, at least you couldn't argue he didn't have an appetite-wait, what?
"Kevin, er, what are you doing?" Alyxia asked in the most maternal tone she could muster.
"Dessert!"
"Kevin, that's your milk and Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwhich you normally eat."
"Yup, and now they're dessert!" Toyo had to laugh again before an idea came to mind. A sly grin of his own formed over his face.
"Oh, but you can't eat desert yet." Toyo declared.
"He/I can't?" Alyxia and Kevin's response came in near perfect stereo.
"Nope! Because I've got one more item for you to try!" With that, Toyo reached into his patened holding bag and took out.....A large bowl of some kind. Alyxia just raised an eyebrow while Kevin 'oooh'd as he quirked his head.
"What is that?" Alyxia almost sounded like she was demanding to know.
"Cup Noodles." Toyo launched into explaination. "They're this new thing in the big cities and are a big trend in the surrounding regions. They come in all kinds of varieties." He took out and balanced an additional two more in his arms. He smiled. "I figured we could all share a meal together, since 'lunch' was mostly just watching you eat, buddy." Kevin's dark skin suddenly fleshed a bright red as he realized he had left nothing for his friends to eat.
"I'm so, so sorry!" He declared, bowing at them so deeply, his head smacked against the ground. A perfect impression of his face was left in the dirt, much to the soil's honor.
"Think nothing of it, we made it for you to eat, remember?" The Goblin male declared as he handed out a chicken variant to Alyxia, kept a beef one for himself, and handed a spicy vegetarian one to Kevin. The younger, puppy faced male looked over the strange bowl he'd been given, wondering how it worked. He then noticed some sort of knob on the underside, with instructions saying 'turn twice and wait for steam. Wait 30 seconds and enjoy.' "Fancy, right? City folk have all sorts of inventive uses for magic these days." With that, everyone from the curious Kevin, to the skeptical Alyx, turned the knobs and waited as instructed. As steam poured out from the thin, ceramic covering on top of the bowls, Kevin's eyes widened with amazement at the incredible device in his hands.
Alyxia and Toyo both shared an amused look. The kid could probably turn the planet inside out with his mind, but something as smallscale and simple as this still left him with wonder. It was an adorable sight.
"Alright, that's thirty seconds." Toyo handed out a pair of stick like eating utensils to everyone. They opened their meals and dug in. Toyo used his eating sticks with experienced dexterity; Alyxia was clearly familiar with them, though not as used to them, eating more slowly and thoughtfully chewing on the meal. Kevin, meanwhile, stuck both sticks in at the same time and whirled them around like a fork, causing the noodles to ball around the sticks against the order of man and nature. He gave the noodle ball a test sniff, before taking a test bite. One chew. Two. His eyes lit up in a way that was unlike any reaction to any meal up until then. The young man practically exploded out of his floating sitting position and let out a whoop before floating back down, enjoying the meal with gusto and, to his friends surprise, taking his time with it the same way he took his time with his PB&J sandwhiches.
"This is amazing, Toyo! What's in it?"
"Oh, you know," Toyo glanced at the packaging for his own cup-bowl, reading the words that declared '500% more MSG than competeing brands!' "Good stuff." He said with a smile. Kevin just smiled as he ate before taking out his musical device and focusing on it.
The music that flowed out from it was unlike anything they had heard from Kevin yet, not the least of which because of the....Interesting lyrics.
'Damn cup noodles, you looking so fine, thinking about you all of the time!'
"Hope you guys like music with your lunch!"
"It's....Certainly appropriate." Alyxia laughed joyfully. "We should make this our themesong."
"Really?" Alyxia froze. She had meant it as a joke. She didn't actually intend, or even want, for their little group to have such an.....interesting song as their lietmotif. But as she looked at Kevin to let him down gently, the look in his eyes told her how excited he was for her to not be joking.
"....Yes." Alyxia blurted out quickly as to not have second thoughts and deny Kevin this. Kevin's eyes started to water as he sniffed and smiled at his friends.
"Best lunch ever!" What a wonderful day.