JJK - Sukuna the Helpful Menace

[Jus4532]

Wait, in the story, was SI!Sukuna a pretty chill guy but was heavily demonized by the people in his time for his ideals and actions or did the SI just took control of Sukuna when Yuji ate the finger?

 

[Pucelle]

"Damn, that was good! You do not know the shit I had to go through to get a half-decent meal in the Heian era!"

"Guess convenience is one thing this era has going for it," Yuji mumbled, his mind still a whirlpool of thoughts. The truth was, despite Sukuna's continuous prattle and him being the embodiment of evil, Gojo's words not his.

Click to shrink...

Sukuna SI be like: "Yuji I had 4 fucking arms before I was incarnated into you. Do you think I could just waltz into a town and get some ramen without the whole place going up in arms about a mutant freak and trying to kill me? Hell no. Not even mentioning food was way more scarce and less varied back in my day. Humans have made great progress in making more foods in the 1000 years I've been sealed and I could not be prouder of a species. Now let's get our ass in gear, I want to try this 'pizza' thing next!"

 

[shirouM]

Leave a comment if you want more!

Next update? Let Me Show You A True Hero!
Chapter 4

Yuji gawked at the massive traditional building towering in the distance.

"Whoooaaahhhh!" he shouted, nearly tripping over his own feet as he stared up at the majestic structure that was Jujutsu High.

Gojo, strutting casually with his hands in his pockets, flashed a grin at the starstruck boy.

"Not bad, right? It's basically Hogwarts, but cooler. And with less child endangerment… probably."

Yuji didn't respond, he was too busy whipping his head around, taking in the pristine gardens, the looming Torii gates, and the quiet stillness that seemed to radiate mystery and power.

"So, this is where I'm gonna train to not get executed…" he muttered, half to himself.

"Yup! And eat more of those nasty fingers while you're at it," Gojo said, walking backward to face him with that same smug grin plastered on his face.

Yuji frowned, slowing down a bit as he walked. "Hey, Gojo-sensei…"

Gojo raised a brow. "Hmm?"

Yuji scratched the back of his head, suddenly unsure. "I've been thinking… about Sukuna."

"That's dangerous," Gojo quipped immediately.

"No, seriously," Yuji insisted. "I mean, yeah, he's annoying. He eats all my food, bothers me constantly, and even makes a second mouth just to sass me. But… other than that he doesn't really come off as evil?"

Gojo's smile faltered just slightly.

"So…" Yuji continued, looking genuinely puzzled, "what exactly makes Sukuna so bad? I mean, why did sorcerers go through all that effort to seal him? What did he do?"

Gojo stopped walking.

Yuji noticed and turned to look at him. Gojo stood there with his head tilted slightly, his mouth tugging downward in a frown.

"Well?" Yuji asked.

Gojo was quiet for a beat too long.

"I mean… he's Sukuna," Gojo said eventually, waving one hand like that explained everything. "He's the King of Curses! That title doesn't exactly come with a Nobel Peace Prize, you know?"

Yuji crossed his arms, not satisfied. "That's not an answer."

Gojo visibly squirmed. "Okay, well… according to the old scrolls and the old grumps, he was feared by all sorcerers in the Heian era, right? A monster in human form, a freak of nature. A calamity that went against the natural order. Whole villages lived in fear of him. Cities were brought to chaos by his presence alone."

Yuji blinked, that sounded bad but nowhere near evil bad. "Okay, but specifically, what did he do?"

Gojo paused, looked up at the sky, scratched the back of his neck, and gave an overly long,

"Uhhhhhhhhhh…"

"You… don't know, do you?" Yuji said flatly.

"I do!" Gojo said quickly. "I just… don't remember… at this exact moment."

"I'm being executed because I ate his finger, and you don't know what he did?!"

Gojo laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Listen, historical records are spotty! Most of the first-hand accounts are all 'Sukuna appeared, chaos happened, the end.' Not exactly great autobiographical material."

Yuji's expression was somewhere between horrified and dumbfounded.

Thats it?! That's all they had on who they called the most evil person in the world?!

He was going to need more than 'Choas happened' for the reason why they were going to execute him!!!

"Look," Gojo said, throwing an arm around Yuji's shoulders as they started walking again, "I get it. He seems chill right now. But that's what makes him dangerous, the guy's a master manipulator. A planner. Just because he hasn't turned your intestines into a scarf yet doesn't mean he won't."

"Yet?" Yuji repeated, voice rising.

"Yeah, but hey, silver lining! If you eat all his fingers and we kill him while he's inside you, you'll never have to find out."

The silence was deafening.

"…That's not a silver lining!"

Gojo laughed again, unbothered, like he hadn't just casually referenced the most horrifying end Yuji could imagine.

Yuji sighed and muttered, "At this point, I think the execution would've been simpler if he was just plain evil."

From deep within his soul, Sukuna's voice rang out, "Pfft, I heard that. Rude. Also, I'm craving ramen for dinner."

Yuji, now far too used to hearing another voice in his head, instantly disagreed.

"We had ramen last night! We are not having it again!!!"

Of course, the king of courses wouldn't take that lying down.

"You ate most of it!"

The balls on this man.

"I ate most of it?! I BARELY GOT A BITE BEFORE YOU DEVOURED THE WHOLE POT!!!"

"A bite too many if you ask me."

When, not if, Yuji found a way to punch the bastard in the face. He was going to punch him hard for his empty wallet!

Gojo raised a brow, covering his laugh with a question. "Ramen night, huh?"

Yuji groaned, slapping away the newly formed mouth. "He's already making dinner plans like we're best friends."

"Careful," Gojo said with a grin. "Keep that up and you'll be calling him 'roomie' in no time."

Yuji narrowed his eyes. "You really don't know what he did for him to be called evil, do you?"

Gojo grinned wide. "Nope! But I do know he's a bastard, that one everyone agreed on."

Yuji buried his face in his hands. "God, I'm going to die for the stupidest reason…"

"Not if I can help it," Gojo said cheerfully, pushing open the grand gate to Jujutsu High. "Welcome to your new nightmare! I mean school!"

Yuji stared at the sprawling grounds ahead.

"I miss being normal," he whispered to himself.

"Your scrawny ass was never normal," Sukuna snorted, getting an annoyed grumble in response.

Yuji glanced at the blindfolded man beside him, curiosity gnawing at his brain. "Hey… Gojo-sensei?"

"Hm?" Gojo didn't look back, still striding forward like he owned the place.

Which, to be fair, he kind of did.

Yuji hesitated for a second before asking, "You're the strongest right?"

"Of course~!" The reply was instant.

"…What would happen if you fought Sukuna?"

Gojo finally stopped, the wind rustled his white hair gently as he tilted his head just enough for Yuji to see the barest hint of a smirk on his lips.

"Well, if he had all twenty of his fingers… I'd have trouble," he said, voice low.

Yuji's heart skipped a beat.

"…Would you lose?" he asked, the question laced with unease.

Gojo turned fully toward him now, his blindfold hid his eyes, but there was something confident, unshakeable, in the way he stood.

"Nah~" he said with a relaxed shrug, that smug grin returning to his face. "I'd win."

Yuji blinked, trying to figure out if he was joking or serious.

Then, from somewhere deep in his soul, Sukuna's voice echoed out, dripping with amusement.

"Chapter 236, bitch."

Yuji furrowed his brows in confusion. "Huh?"

Gojo frowned, also confused. "What?"

There was a beat of silence.

"What the hell do you mean? Chapter 236 of what?" Yuji asked, bewildered but got no response back but silence.

Gojo tilted his head. "Maybe it's some sort of ancient curse thing?"

"Sounds like a bad omen," Yuji muttered, hearing the king laughing in his ear.

Sukuna didn't explain. He just cackled, long and loud, his laughter bouncing around the inside of Yuji's skull like an echo.

"Eh, don't worry about it. I'm sure it's nothing." Gojo, still facing Yuji, tried to wave it off.

Yuji looked off into the distance with a thousand-yard stare. "Why does it feel like I just got spoiled?"

_____


He got disqualified on his first day of school.

Then got his ass handed to him by a fucking magic doll.

Made him rethink his reasons why he wanted to be a jujutsu sorcerer.

Now here he was, on his first-ever mission, knowing not a lick of jujutsu…

And Sukuna, the fucking bastard, laughed the whole way through.

At least he got his laughing ass back by eating plain rice and nothing else! That sure showed him!

"What's got you laughing like an evil cartoon character?" Megumi's voice interrupted his mad crackling, making him focus back on reality.

"N-Nothing!" The pink-haired boy stuttered, not wanting him to think he was crazy.

Raising a brow, Megumi shrugged after a moment, not really caring.

"Where the hell is he? He was the one that told us to be here yet he's late!" The other boy grumbled angrily.

And speak of the devil.

Gojo appeared exactly as dramatically as you'd expect, stepping out from behind a vending machine with two different snacks in hand and a huge grin on his face.

"Yo~! Sorry I'm late! Had to make a very important detour," he said, holding up a pack of sweet potato chips in one hand and a melon pan in the other like they were sacred relics. "Fuel for the strongest, y'know?"

Megumi looked like he was already done with the day. "Were you there the whole time?! We've been standing here for twenty minutes!"

Yuji, now used to the chaos that came with Gojo's presence, just pointed at the bright and bustling street around them. "Why Harajuku though? I thought we were supposed to be training or doing cursed spirit stuff."

Gojo tilted his head like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because your new teammate wanted to meet here!"

"New teammate?" Yuji blinked, excited. "Wait, there's another first-year?"

"Yup!" Gojo beamed. "Smart, stylish, hits like a truck, she's got the whole package. You'll love her! She was actually the one that wanted to meet in Harajuku!"

Megumi squinted. "Sounds annoying."

But before Gojo could answer, they heard a loud voice from across the street.

"Oi! Don't run away from me!"

The three of them turned just in time to see a girl in a short black skirt, blazer slung over her shoulder, and combat boots squared off with a very flustered man who had clearly made the mistake of getting her attention.

Gojo immediately lit up. "There she is! Right on cue."

Yuji raised a brow and observed her curiously. "That's her?"

"Yup~! Kugisaki Nobara," Gojo said proudly. "Your new teammate."

Across the street, the guy she was arguing with tried to backpedal, hands up, clearly regretting all his life choices up to this moment.

"I said, don't run!" Nobara snapped, reaching out to stop him but was too late.

The guy fled without another word.

She flipped her hair back with a huff and spotted the group watching her.

Without missing a beat, she strutted across the street like it was a runway, completely unbothered by what just happened.

"I'm Kugisaki Nobara," she said plainly while eyeing her fellow students. "Hmm…"

Yuji stood a little straighter, ready to happily greet his new teammate. "I'm Itadori Yuji! Nice to meet ya!"

"…Fushiguro Megumi." Came the much calmer but plainer introduction.

Already her first impression of them was terrible, she sighed sadly to herself.

"You look like a brooding loner, bet you have a tragic backstory and everything."

"We literally just met." Megumi deadpanned.

Nobara ignored him and turned to Yuji. "And you look like a du-"

She didn't even get the chance to finish her sentence.

A force rippled through the air, Like the sudden drop in pressure before a storm.

Yuji blinked. "Wait, what th—"

Suddenly, the very air in front of them shimmered, like heat rising off the asphalt, and in the blink of an eye, he was there.

Sukuna.

Not the creepy mouth on Yuji's cheek.

Not the smug voice in his head.

The actual form of Sukuna, fully materialized, tattoos trailing down his arms and face, a smirk full of flirtation.

He stepped forward with all the grace of a predator, staring her down.

"AAAAA!!!! Mother—! Don't do that! You almost gave me a freaking heart attack!" Yuji clutched his chest, his heart beating rapidly.

He totally forgot Sukuna could do that.

Megumi jumped back, immediately dropping into a fighting stance, cursed energy flaring as if on instinct.

"What—how the hell is he out of your body?!"

Gojo didn't even blink, just casually took a bite of his melon pan. "Oh hey, look who decided to make an appearance."

Nobara, to her credit, didn't flinch, she just narrowed her eyes, clearly confused but not backing down.

Sukuna's eyes flicked over to her, and the smirk widened.

"Well, hello beautiful~" he purred, his voice low, silky.

Nobara blinked once, then twice, before smiling smugly and flicking her hair back.

"Stating the obvious, aren't we?"

Gojo shook his head, laughing at the audacity of this girl.

"Don't you dare flirt with my new teammate, you bastard!" Yuji shouted, throwing a punch at Sukuna's face only for his eyes to widen when his fist simply passed through him and instead hit a metal pole.

Crunch!

A pole that now had a massive dent the size of Yuji's fist.

"Regret! Regret!" The boy clutched his hand, rolling on the ground.

That got more than a few weirded-out looks from other people.

"Yuji, shut up! You're getting attention on us!" Megumi shouted, eyes still locked on the king of curses.

Sukuna ignored them completely, tilting his head and giving Nobara a slow, appraising look.

"Sharp eyes, confident posture, and with curves for days. Mmm~ You're wasted on these two."

Nobara raised a brow, but she was eating up his compliments.

"Are you… hitting on me? While sharing a body with him?"

She looked down at the pink-haired boy on the ground.

Yuji, who was now lying still on the ground, was muttering to himself, "This is actually happening. I'm going to be expelled. Or arrested. Or both. Because a thousand-year-old curse is flirting with a student."

"I don't share," Sukuna said smoothly. "I simply allow him to borrow my body. Temporarily. Though I must admit… he can't cook to save his life."

"Oi! It's my body, not yours! And I cooked last night!" Yuji shouted in the background. "YOU SAID THE RICE WASN'T BAD!"

"IS THAT WHY THE RICE TASTED WEIRD?! HOW THE FUCK DID YOU MESS THAT UP?!"

Gojo finally spoke, chewing idly. "I'm impressed, you haven't even known her five minutes and already you're trying to get into her pants."

Nobara rolled her eyes. "As if I would be that easy."

Sukuna chuckled.

"Feisty." Then, suddenly, he turned to Gojo. "You gonna stop me?"

Gojo blinked innocently behind his blindfold. "Why? This is better than TV."

"YOU'RE THE WORST MENTOR EVER! / YOU'RE THE WORST MENTOR EVER!" Yuji and Megumi screamed out at the same time, getting a chuckle from him.

Megumi, still tense and glowing with cursed energy, glared at Sukuna. "If you don't get back in the cage, I'm going to start exercising you."

"Ooooh, scary," Sukuna taunted. "You gonna throw one of those wolves at me, little pup?"

"…" Megumi glared at him, subtly getting into position.

Like the fucking crashout he is.

Sukuna, seeing him being one hundred percent serious, gave Nobara one last look and with a wink,

"Let me know if you get tired of brat one and brat two."

And just like that, he vanished. Gone.

"I'm going to die. I'm going to die from a heart attack before any curse kills me." Yuji mumbled, rubbing his chest to calm his heart down.

Nobara stared at him, arms crossed, her expression unreadable. "Okay… what the actual hell was that?"

Yuji looked up staring at the passing clouds, oh look, a bunny.

"That was Sukuna, you probably know him as the king of curses, I ate one of his fingers. Now he lives in my body, and sometimes he comes out, you know, normal jujutsu sorcerer things."

Nobara stared at him a little longer.

"That is not at all normal, like at all, not even for jujutsu sorcerers."

"…I refuse to believe you."

 

[OverseerEX]

Sukuna's eyes flicked over to her, and the smirk widened.

"Well, hello beautiful~" he purred, his voice low, silky.

Click to shrink...

This guy fucks, for sure.

 

[kz3838]

Thank you for the great chapter, Sukuna is a menace here and I love it! Stay safe out there and keep up the good work!

 

[CrossyCross]

I can't wait for sukuna to start revealing all the horrible things he did.

...and it's all just things people take for granted in the modern day.

The girls: "I see. I see. He was just way too progressive for his time."

Gojo: *seriously considering murdering the higher ups even earlier now that sukuna apparently isn't that bad a guy*

 

[Omniext]

The girls: "I see. I see. He was just way too progressive for his time."

Click to shrink...

ngl, funniest way for this to go

 

[Alex Hael]

You know if anyone talks about him being a cannibal he can just say he is like "those characters from that cartoon from yujis memory" referencing tokyo ghoul because he was becoming a curse then everyone would have a "ooohh" moment it would be hilarious

 

[MasterDarkElf]

Nice! Kinda hope that Sukuna gets his 'own' body soon, for obvious reasons, haha. He's gotta put the moves on more ladies! I vote for Utahime! Also looking forward to the 'Oh shit, he actually isn't that bad' realization. Looking forward to more.

 

[S.I.N]

I can't wait for sukuna to start revealing all the horrible things he did.

...and it's all just things people take for granted in the modern day.

The girls: "I see. I see. He was just way too progressive for his time."

Gojo: *seriously considering murdering the higher ups even earlier now that sukuna apparently isn't that bad a guy*

Click to shrink...

I mean he also apparently spread Buddhism and was a folk hero and nobara type is Oda nobunaga...yep that will actually work for her.

 

[prussian-granadier]

Nobara raised a brow, but she was eating up his compliments.

Click to shrink...

King of rizzing

"Ooooh, scary," Sukuna taunted. "You gonna throw one of those wolves at me, little pup?"

"…" Megumi glared at him, subtly getting into position.

Like the fucking cashout he is.

Click to shrink...

man, all the "potential men" roasts we are going to be insane


View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2M0KY2gsog

gunna be real, the sheer amount of JJK memes makes the whole cast painfully awere of how funny he was

and the crazy thing is like this is the only version of sukuna that may legitimatly beat Takaba, just on memes

same with calling out Gojo and Geto for being gay and Gojo being incapable of going to KFC because his boyfriend broke up with him

things i can see this sukuna doing:
calling everyone in the Kyoto jujutsu high of bums
telling yuji that kenjaku was his mother

 

[Kagamire]

He said the Spoiler!!

 

[AbenSur]

I can't wait for sukuna to start revealing all the horrible things he did.

...and it's all just things people take for granted in the modern day.

The girls: "I see. I see. He was just way too progressive for his time."

Gojo: *seriously considering murdering the higher ups even earlier now that sukuna apparently isn't that bad a guy*

Click to shrink...

Sukuna: Look sometimes you gotta drink out of a lake and sometimes you gotta kill somebody for a drink.

 

[auraofcalm]

"Cannibalism? You said yourself I'm a curse, not a human. Therefore it's only cannibalism if I eat curses."

"..."

"Which, to be fair, I also did."

"Gross."

"Oh I'm sorry. Instant ramen and convenience stores weren't a thing back in the Heian era!"

 

[SuperPulp2789]

"Cannibalism? You said yourself I'm a curse, not a human. Therefore it's only cannibalism if I eat curses."

"..."

"Which, to be fair, I also did."

"Gross."

"Oh I'm sorry. Instant ramen and convenience stores weren't a thing back in the Heian era!"

Click to shrink...

Wasn't the Heian Era the equivalent of the Bronze Age for Japan?

 

[Introspective Tinkerer]

Wasn't the Heian Era the equivalent of the Bronze Age for Japan?

Click to shrink...

The early Feudal/late Classical period, Heian Era was 794-1185 AD.

 

[Fossilhunter]

Another thing that makes sukuna evil in the heian era, he slept with the noble's daughter's or wife's, sometimes both. he loves oyakodon in both senses of the word.

 

[Maxem]

Тhanks for the update

 

[SuperPulp2789]

Japan isn't Xianxia/Wuxia China

But how much did it take to offend people back in that era? Or to turn minor slights, insults, jokes and so on into stuff that would result in death?


Because I am being reminded of a Netflix show I heard about, involving an English Mercenary in Japan, whom due to NOT getting the local culture, accidentally got an employee of his killed

Because he didn't get how literally the a Japanese took things like "if you take it off, you die"


It'd be rather ironic, that by NOT being a guy constantly showing off his strength and massacring people, he made more enemies than the canon one who did so

 

[Wild Transient]

I can't wait for sukuna to start revealing all the horrible things he did.

...and it's all just things people take for granted in the modern day.

The girls: "I see. I see. He was just way too progressive for his time."

Gojo: *seriously considering murdering the higher ups even earlier now that sukuna apparently isn't that bad a guy*

Click to shrink...

It would be hilarious if that was the case.

But how much did it take to offend people back in that era? Or to turn minor slights, insults, jokes and so on into stuff that would result in death?

Click to shrink...

Depends on how egotistical someone was and if the victim to be is a peasant or not.

 

[SuperPulp2789]

Depends on how egotistical someone was and if the victim to be is a peasant or not.

Click to shrink...

I really wonder how that all works

Really breaks that Confucian social contract stuff on etiquette, rather unnecessary too

Demanding high levels of obedience, respect and "politeness" whilst being an extremely petty asswipe with zero attachment to the local populace and being rude AF

 

[Wild Transient]

I really wonder how that all works

Really breaks that Confucian social contract stuff on etiquette, rather unnecessary too

Demanding high levels of obedience, respect and "politeness" whilst being an extremely petty asswipe with zero attachment to the local populace and being rude AF

Click to shrink...

Hypocrisy,feeling entitled cuz your from a noble house or Samurai clan and feeling that the rules don't apply to you is amazingly common.

 

[Ney☆Ru]

Impressive.
Thank you very much!
I look forward to the next update.

 

[SuperPulp2789]

Hypocrisy,feeling entitled cuz your from a noble house or Samurai clan and feeling that the rules don't apply to you is amazingly common.

Click to shrink...

I guess that's the weakness of Confucian thinking

The consequences for these bad behaviors take a long while to occur, if at all

Most people are too afraid to rock the boat and appear impolite to even speak back

 

[LordTom]

Would be funny if his cook (forgot his name) would just go along Sukuna action like he was allways this way.

 

[SuperPulp2789]

Would be funny if his cook (forgot his name) would just go along Sukuna action like he was allways this way.

Click to shrink...

Uraume

Though if Sukuna was always this way in-universe

Then I'm gonna guess one reason to entrust his soul to Kenjaku would be "I want to eat future food"

And why stop at just Japanese food? Go on a foodie tour for other kinds of cuisine

Now that I think about it, he probably knew China was a thing, if he went traveling at least once in his life outside of Japan. He would have pissed the F out of the Emperor of China by NOT kowtowing in his presence.

 

[Pyrususer]

This just gonna get funnier and funnier

 

[Vanbers]

I can't wait for sukuna to start revealing all the horrible things he did.

...and it's all just things people take for granted in the modern day.

The girls: "I see. I see. He was just way too progressive for his time."

Gojo: *seriously considering murdering the higher ups even earlier now that sukuna apparently isn't that bad a guy*

Click to shrink...

Higher-ups: "He's a monster! He committed the most heinous of acts!"

Sukuna: "I think women should have equal rights, that's why I trained Uraume in Jujutsu."

Female Sorcerers: "..."

Sukuna: "Of course, back in those days, that was a death sentence."

Female Sorcerers: "..."

Sukuna: "I think it was some guy calling himself Zenin something-or-other that was heading the charge? I wasn't paying much attention, honestly. Oh! And I also thought that non-sorcerers were pretty cool, and should have equal rights as well."

Higher-ups: "See?! He's a monster! He even admits it!"

 

[Fossilhunter]

Higher-ups: "He's a monster! He committed the most heinous of acts!"

Sukuna: "I think women should have equal rights, that's why I trained Uraume in Jujutsu."

Female Sorcerers: "..."

Sukuna: "Of course, back in those days, that was a death sentence."

Female Sorcerers: "..."

Sukuna: "I think it was some guy calling himself Zenin something-or-other that was heading the charge? I wasn't paying much attention, honestly. Oh! And I also thought that non-sorcerers were pretty cool, and should have equal rights as well."

Higher-ups: "See?! He's a monster! He even admits it!"

Click to shrink...

Uraume was originally male, but he incarnated into a female body.

 

[Pyrususer]

I'm gonna assume the cash out insult was referring to megiumi's maohraga trigger finger