Kitsu's Fever dreams

[KitsuneObsessedFreak]

One day, I might come back to this and add more. I literally have not edited this, nor do I care to, and I only wrote it because I was pissed off at the stupidity of certain people in my life. If you think it's fun? Add your own fever dreams. Let's make an extended universe of bullshit.
Now a snippet thread, Yay!

 

[KitsuneObsessedFreak]

Starting a new life in another world usually wasn't all it's cracked up to be. Actually in my case, it was even worse.

I woke up in a literal pile of trash, cold and wet from the rain, wearing nothing but a pair of slutty panties, and decidedly sore all over. Especially in certain unfortunate areas. It was clear what had been done to me, and that I was definitely female in this world. Not fun. In fact, my entire thought process could be summed up with a single curse. "Fuck."

Checking over myself while dragging myself out of the filth, I slowly looked over my surroundings. I was in a stereotypical Asian market back alley looking place, with all the shady looking shit that comes with that. The buildings were grimey, the streets reeked, and the only living things in the alley were bugs and rats.

The last part was actually pretty lucky, since I definitely did not look human anymore. I might not have been looking directly into the mirror floating near me, but I saw my nine fluffy tails, and big fox ears twitching around from the corner of my eye as I took stock of where I was. That could wait, however. I needed to get out of there first.

Despite knowing it might be a bad idea, as soon as I got out of the muck, I attempted to get the trash off of me by washing myself off with the rain pouring from a nearby gutter. It was freezing, but I couldn't exactly expect to go out of the alley unnoticed if I was covered in trash and naked.

Finishing up as quickly as I could, I gestured to the floating mirror, and it came to me. How did I know to do this? Well, it's not like I didn't come here with an instruction manual in my head. That's right, I knew how all my powers worked. And exactly to what extent they did. Hell, I even knew where I was funny enough.

Brockton bay. Now ain't that a joke. At least this version was a bit different, according to the implanted knowledge. This was a Brockton bay that was slapped into the middle of several different series, all of which were simply competing for just how dumb they could be. We'll explore them later as time goes on, so don't worry about it for now.

Anyway, I decided that it would be a good time to change into one of my spirit outfits, a black leather bodysuit with pink accents, zippers that can be opened to show off more skin, black high heeled boots with pink soles, long leather gloves, and a pair of stylish glasses. I even did my hair up in a long wavy ponytail, held there by a few pink bows.

Now I know what you're thinking. That outfit doesn't match that mirror at all. That is Koyanskaya's outfit! Reee! But honestly to all you haters? Fuck right off with that shit. When I asked for the powers of all the Tamamo from FGO, I got all of them. Every one of the ones that was introduced when I contracted Isekaitus. If you have a problem with that? This story just ain't for you.

Now I know I should probably explain what I meant by that, but it's actually not very fun or interesting to hear about ROBs so I'm just gonna cut that from the story for now. Besides, at this point, I was just barely six blocks away from that alley, and damn was it a bad idea not to hide my ears and tails.

Literally everyone and their children were coming up to the 'Obvious Unmasked Cape' and demanding autographs.

"Excuse me miss! Can you sign this paper for me?" One particularly devious salesman asked, thrusting the pen and paper in my face.

Immediately getting extremely fed up with it, I began to push through the crowd. This was actually stupid. I hadn't even done anything, and people were trying to force me to sign their stuff, hoping they could sell it as merchandise when I inevitably became famous. "Excuse me? Asshole, I ain't gonna sign a paper that literally says I have to pay you if I want to go out in costume. That's fucking ridiculous. Honestly, if you do this shit to the wrong person, you're just gonna get yourself killed. Use some goddamn common sense people! And y'all are idiots. Don't crowd very obviously 'not normal' people and ask for autographs! It's creepy A F!"

Deciding it would be best to leave the area as soon as possible, I went straight for the nearest office building I could duck into to get changed. Why did I decide an office building was a great place to get changed? Don't ask me. I don't fucking know. All I know is that I thought it was at the time and so I went with it.

The very moment I entered, the person at the desk hit an alarm, and the local Neo Nazis began pulling out their guns. This was happening all too fast, and I was utterly done with this shit, so I literally just blew the place up. That's right, I did the terrorist thing on day one, within the first hour of being on the planet. Because fuck that shit, I was so done.

The sheer amount of frag grenades I launched from that MGL was absurd. I should have run out approximately ninety million grenades ago, but I just kept firing as I left the building, holding down the trigger. The heat from firing said grenades made the MGL glow red hot, so I kept an eye on it. When it reached the point where I couldn't hold it any more, I threw it at the remains of the building and detonated it too.

By the time I was done, I found myself staring down Tony Stark, and an older version of Shirou fucking Emiya. Because why the fuck not.

Tony took note of where I had just attacked, realized it was medhall, and had his AI buddy Jarvis hack into whatever records they could find that would require such overkill. Of course, he quickly discovered that they were actually seriously evil neo nazis that worked with hydra, and figured their rights were void.

Shirou on the other hand, was a dumbass. He knew they were neo nazis for ages, but thought he could and should save them anyways. "You killed people here! A lot of people! You're a villain!"

Looking over his posture one more time, as if that would make him any less stupid, I spoke in a very slow manner, like I was speaking to an idiot. "I. Was. Being. Shot. At. By the whole damn building. They were openly displaying pro Hitler propaganda literally everywhere. I didn't like that. I shot back. Pretty sure I won."

The idiot continued to be the dumbest fuck I had ever had the displeasure of meeting. Ever. "But people die when they are killed, and You can't save someone's life if they're already dead."

I swear, even the idiots who recorded the fight so far collectively facepalmed at that. I really needed to point something even more obvious out just to counter that. "You also Can't save someone who doesn't want to be saved, idiot."

Of course the idiot had to argue. "How would you know if they don't want to be saved? You shot them. With explosives!"

My voice was becoming more and more deadpan as time went on, if this was really how it was going to be, I would definitely destroy the world and just self fucking terminate. "If it wasn't obvious enough by how obviously nazi they were, then shooting at someone with large caliber bullets who clearly isn't normal just for looking different was a pretty good clue."

Tony decided now was a good time to step in. "Archer, buddy. In this case she's actually right. She shouldn't have blown up the building in the process, but she's right. We would have likely killed them all anyways."

Shirou was really trying to earn that bullet to the brain. Honestly, this was so stupid! "No. I refuse. Just because she's correct doesn't mean she's right. A real hero wouldn't kill people."

Looking at him from where he was in his iron man suit, you could tell Tony was also done with his shit. Still, he had much more patience than I did. "Shirou, you kill people all the time. This isn't news. Overpopulation is so bad that it's actually the main approved method to deal with criminals. The other one is to set them to war against each other, which you also do."

"But I'm a Hero. It's different." the absolute dumbass.

The sheer levels of stupidity I was seeing began to increase my heart rate, to the point that I regained lucidity, and found myself in a hospital, strapped down to a very white bed, with heart monitors going off from the side.

The doctor came running into the room looking very panicked. "He's waking up! Hurry, he's not healed yet, we must keep him from moving around and making it worse!"

I was quickly put back under, and feel asleep yet again.

 

[KitsuneObsessedFreak]

Fun fact, if you write a fever dream here for a character that's in the hospital, and it's dumb enough, I'll make it canon. I still have to find out how to do that, but I will.

 

[KitsuneObsessedFreak]

Danielle723^^:Tis yet more words<3
Kitsu: Oh no. I did it again. So many stories, and my partners might not have the time to finish all of them if I keep this up!
Danielle723^^: meh, time is an illusion anyways<3

DISCLAIMER:​

There will probably be lewds, maybe futa depending on our mood, a lot of swearing and violence, mentions of drug use, abuse, bullying, torture, and other such things that lead to people triggering in this universe.

Worm isn't a happy universe, even when given the rose tinted glasses and crack cocaine I like to feed y'all to make it prettier, so expect that even if it's not mentioned outright, dark shit is 100% happening in the background, and that the only characters that reflect the authors are Tamamo and Scàthach-Skadi here in this fic, so don't get angsty over nazis being horrible people, or wannabe Yakuza acting like stereotypical thugs.

As always, don't like, don't read. If you do like, feel free to comment but keep in mind I don't change story content for people who aren't actively collaborating in the specific story that they're commenting on.

~~~~​

Scàttach-Skadi/Danielle/Surtr clutched at her/their skull in agony as jagged fragments of emotions, minds, and memories carved against the inside of their skull. Moaning piteously and holding their eyes closed against the searing rays of the sun, they slowly leveraged themselves to their knees, listening intently for any sign of danger approaching as experience born of ages nearly beyond human comprehension pushing through the agony of her shattered sense of self.

Hearing nothing immediately, they let their mana and divine nature unfurl, tasting at the colors of rot and despair that rested over the modern city they had found themselves in like a pall. A single source of prana of any note tugged at their senses like a lodestone, the impression of foxes and solar fire pressing comfortingly against her Divine core. Cracking her amethyst eyes open, her gaze locked on the pile of floofy fox tails curled up on the other side of a small table in the center of a rather dark warehouse. Staggering to their feet, a long wooden wand manifested in their pale hand, they walked around the table, ignoring the letter placed in the center, she gently poked the pile of fluff.

A low growl emanated from the fluffy ball of tails before a massive paw-like hand reached out and swatted at the stick, the tails flicking about as if to show annoyance. "Nnnnngh. Give me a Tamamoment…"

The purple haired woman let the wand dematerialize into icy mist rather than watch the fox launch it across the warehouse, eyebrow raising with a wince as more shards of emotion and memory dug through her skull. "So how many people did you end up blended into your skull, lazy fox?"

"Mikon? I think my brain is telling me to make a reference to NFF services and… MREOWOOF?! The hell?" The poor confused fox woman jumped to her feet, a mousetrap attached to her nose which she promptly shredded as she looked around the room with wide golden eyes, before settling on the purple haired beauty in front of her. "Skadi-chan~? Why do I wanna lick you right now?"

Scàthach-Skadi smirked and crossed her arms under her chest, deliberately pushing them upwards. "Because I'm delicious, obviously~" She drawled in amusement.

"I don't suppose you know why we both ended up in some warehouse in a decaying city on a 'modern' earth? My mind is… more than a bit shattered, to be honest I'm surprised I'm even sane at this point, but I suppose that adorable mortal in here is helping."

"I'm pretty sure all my souls are all trying to eat each other deliciously at any given moment, so I get that. But it sounds like we're near some sorta party because I can hear Skrillex blasting nearby like it was supposed to be cool or something." The pink haired Kyuubi claimed with a shrug, "Well, are there any clues around? Maybe someone left us a note?"

Scàthach-Skadi looked back over at the small round table, perfectly centered in the clean circle of warehouse floor they appeared within, her eyes focused on the letter placed exactly in its center, flashing gold, icy blue, flaming orange, and settling back to her normal amethyst. "… I blame Zelretch for this."

Walking back over and plucking the parchment off the fine grained surface without touching it she unfolded it and began to read aloud. "Dear crazy people and/or divinities, welcome to Earth Bet, please do enjoy your stay, I am taking a vacation from this dumpster fire.
Toodles~
Eye of Abaddon."

"... I blame Contessa." Tamamo summed up her thoughts in simple terms, before changing her spirit dress to fit Koyanskaya's normal attire, her sexy black leather mercenary outfit fitting tight on her body and hugging her every curve, a vast majority of her bountiful chest and shapely rear proudly on display for those who wished to look. Turning around to leave, she let her tails raise up while she wiggled her divine ass at her prospective wife, manifesting and putting on a pair of rectangular glasses to reveal that her paws had indeed returned to normal hands and high heeled sexy mercenary boots before making her way towards the exit with a natural seductive sway to her steps, only to look back over her shoulder with a sly grin. "Are you ready, Skadi-chan? The world awaits, and you already have your Pokémon, so let's go!"

Scàthach eyed her rear appreciatively and smirked, a bright crimson spear and the rune carved wand from earlier appearing in her gloved hands with a flourish. "I wouldn't miss it for the galaxy oh teasing fox~ let's see if we can find anything fun to play with hmm? I'm sure these mortals have something interesting to do in this… Hive of scum and villainy."

Following the sexy as sin Kyuubi out the side door of the warehouse, she slowed to a stop and looked up at the clear evening sky, streaks of fading sunlight painting the scattered clouds in bright oranges and pinks, ignoring the blaring terrible edm music coming from the other end of the block, along with the few shabbily dressed humans still out at this hour on a biting cold winter day. "This city must truly be rotting if I can see the stars so clearly even now…" she murmured softly to herself, mind slowly piecing itself into some semblance of order as she sifted through her shattered psyche.

"Come on, let's get further away from the weaponized sonic frequencies in the area." Tamamo said with a wince, her ears flattened backwards on her head as she frowned. "I don't feel like dealing with drugged up gang members right no-"

Unfortunately that decision was taken out of her hands when the ugliest mismatch of mechanical parts imaginable started up nearby, the cloaking on it disabling as the most loud and drugged up of the group began to hoot and holler at the two from down the street.

"Go get me those fancy bitches!" The most drugged up of the lot screamed from where he was perched atop the pile of scrap beaten into the vague shape of a tank. Waving his arms around wildly, the hobo looking man continued screaming vile nonsensical obscenities into the sky as his motley crew of dirty strung out gangbangers swarmed down the cracked sidewalk, making way for the scrap heap of a tank to rumble to life.

Arching an eyebrow and frowning at horde of unwashed scum prowling down the road with disgusting leers painted across their faces, Skadi flicked her wrist and aimed her rune carved wand at the approaching mass and the tank behind them, her eyes flashing the cruel icy blue of winter's harshest depths. "Pardon me a moment, oh sexy fox, it appears that there is some trash in need of disposal."

Frost and rime coated the street as the temperature dropped like a stone down a well, icy blue power coiling around her wand as she flicked it down range, and all the wrath of winter's heart followed. "By right of Blood and Soul and Power, Fall before winter's grasp!"

With the chime of splintering crystal, everything that had been moving but the two deities stopped dead in a frozen horror, frost and mist drifting off of flesh so cold it crystallized before the composite beings watching eyes. "There, that's a much better look for bandits, don't you think?"

Considering Tamamo was holding onto what appeared to be a massive sludge pump of some kind, and already spraying the frozen drug addicts with some incredibly corrosive and toxic substance, it appeared she didn't feel like allowing such scum a proper ice burial. "Nope! That's way too good for them. They're gonna melt instead!"

Scàthach raised an eyebrow at the fox's vehemence and giggled in amusement, amethyst eyes dancing in mirth. "Well, I suppose that's one way to dispose of corpses."

Letting her crimson spear fade into motes of prana, she twirled her wand between her dexterous fingers and spun on her heel, the half skirt of her elaborate outfit swirling dramatically. "Shall we go find somewhere a tad less… soaked in despair and human rot? The frost is telling me there is one of those delightful human iced cream shops this way."

"Uhuh… and we're just going to charm the poor bastard into giving us free ice cream?" Tamamo asked, not against the idea in any way but still rather amused at the thought of messing with people to get free stuff, "We don't have any of the local currency yet, and this is a modern world. People can track false money and there are spies in every corner of every location we can go to." She still began to follow along after Scàthach-Skadi, but she really did have to point out their current lack of resources, that they would need to procure soon. "Technically, there is a likely drug den about a half second from here though from what I can smell, so if you let me go pick up their cash and then we can go?"

Skadi paused and sighed, "I did forget about that… very well, hopefully it doesn't smell too terribly for you."

~~~~​

After an hour or so of walking through progressively less decayed city streets, anyone who might have otherwise accosted the two beauties shying away from the blatantly obvious cape costumes, and more than one shady looking Asian blanching and disappearing into the growing evening gloom, the two lost powerhouses stopped a little ways from the door of a cute little mom and pop place looking out over a darkening park. Tilting her head and setting her long purple hair swaying, Scàthach looked herself up and down and smirked. "Well, we're about to make… a bit of an impression, hopefully no one important passes out from a nosebleed."

"Hmmm. That actually might be fun~!" Tamamo claimed with a sly grin, her tails wiggling at the prospect of eating some yummy ice cream. "Though I'd prefer it if people were left conscious enough to stare, I could use the confidence boost."

Skadi laughed, bright and high, as she moved to push through the frosted glass double doors, small bells ringing as she swept inside with all the grace of a monarch walking into her own court. The calm, muted chatter of families and teens enjoying their evening bounty rapidly died as everyone stopped to stare at the two stunning capes whose very presence drew every eye in the long room. Still smiling in amusement, Scàthach stepped calmly into line behind a teen currently gaping at the both of them. Lifting the teen's jaw up with a single finger and gently turning them back around to face the counter drawing an amused and knowing look from the older, very Irish looking, woman behind the long glass counter.

"Come on Ryan, best you order instead of drooling on the nice lady behind you, yes?" The older red haired woman drawled in amusement, green eyes sparkling with suppressed mirth. The teen stammered out some half spoken embarrassed excuse but moved to order from the smirking owner.

A light snort escaped the mouth of the fox in the room, followed by a quiet fit of foxy snickering. "Keke, it looks like we're already making a few fans huh." Tamamo claimed, her eyes full of mirth. "It smells really good in this place though~! Are all these ice cream flavors made in store?"

The older woman smiled at the fox, eyes flicking to her ears and fluffy tails for a moment as she nodded with a smile, the tomato red teen escaping to find somewhere to sit. "We do indeed dear, been making it by hand for going on thirty years and I'm not about to stop now."

Humming to herself as she let her dominion over ice and frost pick out the greatest flavor for her palette, Skadi smiled at her hostess. "Always nice to see people working their chosen craft, things do inevitably turn out better that way. I think I'll have the chocolate and caramel this eve."

Smiling as the woman gathered her ice cream for her, she deliberately struck up a conversation as she moved down the counter as she felt eyes of power upon her. "Have you considered making a Glogg flavored ice cream? Or perhaps a spiced apple cider flavor would be easier to do on this side of the sea, that would likely get one close to proper glogg."

In one of the booths nearby, a rather anxious looking Kurdish woman was observing them, only noticed because Tamamo's Koyanskaya side took notice the very moment her knife began to shift into a gun from a momentary slip in concentration. She seemed to have her phone within her hands, thumb on the side button as if she was ready to press it at a moment's notice.

Of course, Tamamo took that as a slight challenge, and gave her a sly wink with her golden eyes, using her power as the goddess of guns to turn the gun into a dinky water pistol full of everclear, before turning her attention mostly away, leaving her to panic and press the button on her phone when she realized she couldn't control her power anymore.

"I actually hadn't thought of trying glogg as an ice cream flavor… come back next week and I'll have a test batch we can try~" The hostess said with a faint grin on her lips.

"I think I will if it's not too much trouble," Scàthach smiled back and took the offered caramel and chocolate monstrosity in exchange for some of the merchant's cash. Her arcane and divine senses focused on the area just around her as she watched Miss Militia through the bits of ice scattered through the store without ever turning her way, a seductive smirk on her lips at her partner's shaping of her weapon familiar.

"Oooh! Lemon Meringue Pie as ice cream?!" Tamamo called out to the shop owner with an excited tone, her tails wagging as drool escaped the corner of her mouth for a moment. "I just have to try that!"

The shop owner smiled indulgently at the excited fox, pulling together a Lemon Meringue combo in a large cake cone to get as close to that pie taste as possible with the ease of long practice. "Here you go dear, try not to knock too many things over with those tails of yours if you would though? I'd hate to make you pay for other people's food given how excited you seem about this one."

Gathering her tails around her body with a thought, Tamamo handed over the money necessary, and took the cone with a sheepish smile. "Thanks, and sorry." She then turned to her sexy companion and decided to find somewhere to go eat. "Well, let's go eat this elsewhere so I don't accidentally disturb someone with my floof." As she said this, she let her gaze pass over the group of humans in the shop, most of whom were ogling the two like they were rather yummy looking delicacies that they were quite interested in tasting, taking away their minds from the food they actually had in front of them.

Skadi's smirk stayed plastered to her face as she laughed lightly at all the horny humans becoming increasingly distracted from their desserts and set off towards the exit, though not before winking at the shop owner. "We'll get out of your hair before we distract too many of your customers from their food."

Sweeping out the door she reached out an arm and pulled the kitsune into a one armed hug, the fox licking her ice cream with long but fast slurps, seeming to enjoy it thoroughly based on the appreciative sounds. "So, other than lemons, is there anything else you like in particular? Personally I feel a desire for some of that delightful sushi your people make, and we can get a bonus of watching them panic to go along with our food."

Tamamo paused her furious licking of the rather tasty snack, nearly already finished by the time they turned the corner. "Sure? I kinda want Tuna anyway, so maybe they'll have some stuff that has lots of that?" Her tails began to curl up to Scàthach-Skadi of their own accord as she leaned into the hug. "Ramen is good too if we can't find that."

The younger composite being threw her head back and laughed, patting the cuddly fox on the head and petting one of her fluffy tails as she walked. "Dear, there's a little warlord who fancies himself a Lung ruling a third of this city from the shadows, do you really think someone like that would not have proper sushi around? I can feel several dozen work cases and cold rooms full of fish from here."

"It's probably best to ask the locals, because the vast majority probably won't actually be proper sushi restaurants, and I don't want to be spending the next week shitting out my guts." The pink-haired fox snarked, but leaned in further and rubbed her cheek against the purple haired goddess with a purr all the same, "I'm sure we'll find somewhere if we can find someone outside at this time of night though."

As they turned and headed towards a different section of the docks area of the city arm in arm, several rather distinct sirens faded into the distance behind them, not that either of them would recognize what those noises meant in particular. "Hmmm, oh! There's a few that don't look too obviously like gangsters, let's see what they have to say to us hmm?"

The amusingly crazy goddess dragged her companion over towards another small well lit park, where a group of college aged Japanese and Korean kids had gathered to have a good time, smiling and laughing under the night sky, the fluorescent bulbs of the nearby street lamps buzzing merrily.

The words that came out of Tamamo's mouth, forming at her lips with the practiced ease of a native did absolutely nothing but terrify the few of them who did not natively speak Japanese, while simultaneously acting to reassure those who could speak it that this was indeed a kitsune, and not a gumiho, or kami-forbid a huli-jing. "Õi! Kono atari de oishĩ sushi-ya O shitteru
kai?" (Oi! Do you know any good sushi restaurants around here?)

One of the more brave souls was pushed forth, simply holding a flyer as if it was divine providence that he happened to have one on hand, and that it might have just saved their lives that night judging by the pale, yet almost religious look on his face. "Watashi wa koko de hataraite iru.
Hinshitsu wa watashi ga hoshõ shimasu." (I work here. I can guarantee the quality.)

Tamamo took the flyer from him with a smile, going over it as she stood in front of him with wide golden eyes and a happy smile. Soon she nodded her thanks to the boy and handed him a good luck charm with a small whispered "Arigato Gozaimasu~" and turned to show her sexy purple haired friend the address they would need to head to. "He said this one is good, so let's go try it out~"

Scàthach smiled and thanked the polite young man in English, tilting her head as she parsed what her senses were telling her onto a mental map of the city to find the correct address. Her suppressed giggles as she caught sight of several of the more well off young males slipping away from the other side of the park chimed like crystal bells in soft wind, the mortals relaxing just a bit as they saw the Kyuubi's companion wasn't taking offense. "That sounds like a wonderful idea, though, perhaps we should let this polite young man call ahead so they don't panic… too much?"

The young man bowed again and pulled out his phone, admirably only trembling slightly as he rapidly punched in a number from memory. "I apologize boss, but it appears I have sent some rather esteemed guests your way. …one of which is a Kyuubi no kitsune."

The other end of the line was silent for a long moment as the two goddesses walked away, until a very quiet, "I understand. Thank you for giving me the time to arrange my affairs, Kenjiro. Please take care of the shop."

"Yes boss," the young man said stoically, the slightest of wavers in his voice as the two got far enough not even their ears could hear more, "it's been an honor."

~~~~​

As they opened the doors to a rather small but very well off sushi and tea shop, Tamamo was quickly overwhelmed by the scents of absolutely masterful dishes that out-shined literally anything she had ever had in her previous life. The tantalizing scents led her to walk right up to the sushi bar, to sit at a stool near the digital ordering station, where she could press a button and have her desired meal come out to her via a special conveyor that would send it right to her spot at the counter, with no need for confusion from people taking the wrong food or wasted food from people not wanting what they ordered once they saw it.

The fact that he needed a bullet proof glass wall to separate him from the clientele showed the state of the city, but he made it work by giving it a cyberpunk-esque theme, with pictures of things you might find in a dystopian cyberpunk future all over the shop, and all of the meals being themed aesthetically along the same lines.

Skadi smirked and followed the over excited fox, nodding politely to the pale faced hostess and smiling at the small crowd of frozen diners. "No need to work," she spoke softly, her seductive voice dancing with amusement. "She isn't here to harm any of you humans, we're simply here for dinner."

One of the poor girls in the background sitting with her boyfriend let out a small whimper. "Please don't let me be on the menu…" She whispered as quietly as she possibly could.

"I 'unno. Be one hell of a way to go." Her balding muscular boyfriend replied to her quiet plea, his eyes firmly glued to the foxy rear perched on the nearby barstool.

If Tamamo heard that, she was quite obviously ignoring it for their sake, as she pressed a button on the machine for a green tea latte, and the largest size of tuna sashimi she could order from this shop. One that was literally a platter the size of half her torso according to the weight, and was more meant to be ordered with other things for a very large group of people.

Scàthach sat down next to Tamamo eyes twinkling in amusement at the sound of a smack to the back of a male head filling the silence as she brushed some of the Fox's tails out of the way so she could lean against her shoulder and access the menu. "Silly fox, why did you only order tuna? Other fish do exist dear~" The Norse goddess input an order for a rather complex platter of raw salmon in all its forms, along with a small mountain of smoked eel.

"Because Tuna is bullshit strong, and can literally kill God for her waifu." Tamamo referenced as if that meme was obvious and could have ever possibly existed here in the same form. "How many people have the chance to say they went to a sushi restaurant and ate an entire Tuna? Even the Herrscher of Void would pause at that, you know?"

Skadi tilted her head, icy blue eyes flashing as she considered that point and then nodded after a moment, absently petting several golden tails that had wandered into her lap. "That's true, though I think you might have just a tiny bit of an unfair advantage in that department Oh fox~"

The restaurant slowly ground back to life at the teasing and silliness coming from the two goddesses, though many hesitant and disbelieving glances were shot their way. The old Japanese chef, dressed in his little hat, who seemed to be the only one behind the bar tonight, looked at the order with all the stoicism an elderly Japanese man could muster and bowed. "I apologize dear customer, but this order may take a while, can I interest you in any appetizers in the meantime?"

"Tempura! Carrot, sweet potato, shrimp, every tempura! We've got the money for it, so why not?" Tamamo giggled, something about the word appetizer really getting her hungry for the fried foods on the menu. "O. Ne. Ga. I. Shi. Ma. Su~?" (P. L. E. A. S. E~?)

To anyone not acquainted with Tamamo, that was actually mildly threatening coming from a bubbly nine tailed fox squirming in her seat with wide eyes as she begged someone to make her what she wanted for food, and also strangely arousing. To anyone who knew her though, they'd be able to tell that she was just really eager to get started on her meal, as evidenced by the small trail of drool she wiped away just after saying it.

Scàthach booped the fox on the nose and pulled her into a one armed hug to calm a little bit of her excitement, pulling a roll of one hundred dollar bills out of… somewhere on her elaborate outfit and pushed it through the slot below the bulletproof glass. "Don't scare the chef too much dear, otherwise your food might take even longer."

Smiling at the chef through the glass, she bowed her head lightly. "That should be enough to get started, no? Then we'll be in your care chef-sama."

The chef took the cash slowly, a bead of sweat making its way down his face and put it in the till after counting it so he could give them a receipt. He then made his way over to begin their orders posthaste, leveraging all his skill honed over decades of working his craft to hopefully not end up on the menu. He rather liked his liver right where it belonged, thank you very much.

The tempura arrived in record time, artistically arrayed into a flowering pattern around a central chromed bowl of dipping sauce, the golden tempura breading steaming beautifully in the cool air of the sushi bar. Thanking the serving girl, who rapidly vanished back into the kitchens with a plastic smile on her face, Skadi smiled and sipped her Sake as she nibbled at several pieces, chopsticks dancing elegantly between her fingers.

"Oooooh! Tempura!" The hungry fox picked up her own chopsticks and clasped her hands together around them with a cheerful "Itadakimasu!" (Thanks for the food!) before taking some of the fried food onto her own plate, and chowing down both with and without the provided sauce.

The appreciative noises she made would likely make any chef proud of their work, especially if they happened to be aware of who she really was, and who her companion was for her evening meal. "Mmmmmn! Sho good~!" Her tails made their happiness known as they wagged softly behind her while she seemed to dance in her seat. "Aweshum!"

Between the two of them, the platter rapidly emptied, only to be replaced by a wooden sushi boat that stretched out longer than their two seats at the bar, piled with sashimi flowers and wrapped in sea serpents of elegantly decorated sushi rolls, all garnished with frosted summer flowers and a rainbow of flying fish roe.

"Fish! And lots of it!" Tamamo giggled happily as she began to take from the tuna sashimi, sniffing it with a smile before taking a bite – and savoring he heavenly taste as it exploded across her taste buds, sending shivers down her spine as she let out a low moan. "Mmmmmm~ Skadi-chan… I
I think we might have found a master of the Heavenly Dao of Fish Preparation and Divine Sushi Arts~"

"Mmmm, I'm not sure I would go that far Tamamo dear, he doesn't look like a hidden immortal, but I will admit that this is quite good." Scàthach said while she tasted from every dish in reach, not bothering to suppress the very lurid moans of appreciation as she ate.

Not many were really close enough to overhear her words, over the sounds both women were making as they ate, but the chef went white as a sheet once he processed just what the purple haired Gaijin had called the terribly familiar looking sakura haired Kyuubi.

A few clients in the shop, those with red and green armbands on their shoulders decided to stealthily leave at that point, paying the remainder of their tabs and fucking right the hell off with extreme prejudice.

As they continued to eat the food they'd been served, Tamamo paid for the food plus more drinks as they came out to her, her bright pink hair seeming to shine as her tails began to glow softly, giving off a sense of warmth and happiness like being wrapped in the embrace of Amaterasu. "This shop is getting all the blessings." She claimed with a satisfied smile as she paid the last of her tab, with a hefty 45% tip for good service. "Best. Sushi. Ever."

As she went to eat the last bit of shrimp tempura left over from earlier, a large crash was heard, and Armsmaster himself came flying through the door, Halberd aimed to do massive damage to the two goddesses as if he thought they were doing something wrong.

Tamamo reacted by turning around and using a few talisman to shield the clients so that none would be hit by the glass, before snapping her fingers to cause the glass to reverse course and fix itself like it had never been broken in the first place.

After staring at the now much more cautious Armsmaster, Tamamo slowly finished her tempura, and watched him with the expression one would give a particularly disabled child when they were doing something utterly inexcusable. "You're going to apologize to the shop owner, staff, and clients for ruining their evening and almost potentially harming them had I not stepped in when I did." Her tone left no room for argument, and he had to have known just how badly he fucked up in that moment, right?

Armsmaster stood rigidly, his power armor whirring softly and his iconic halberd in a practiced high guard despite his surprise at Tamamo displaying non-trump powers. Missing the context of the angry and disappointed kitsune's expression and body language entirely, his gaze swept the restaurant and sushi bar, taking in the staff and the half empty tables distinctly lacking their usual ABB presence. "Halt villain! You are under arrest for assault with a Parahuman power! Lay down on the ground with your hands behind your head or I will be forced to employ combat solutions!"

"Is it really assault to remove someone's ability to point lethal weaponry at us from people with 'Parahuman Powers', Mr Roboto? Because I felt a genuine threat to my sexy ass and decided to ensure my own safety, just the same as anyone would do in an unfamiliar city, in an unfamiliar country, surrounded by unfamiliar people if they had the necessary ability." Tamamo pointed out with a cold tone, her posture non-threatening but feet expression still quite pissed, if rather filled with disdain instead of aggression. "Unless you have a warrant for my arrest for the mere act of defending myself and my partner from lethal weaponry pointed in our direction, I'm going to have to ask you to wait for us to hire a lawyer."

Both Deities could hear the grinding of teeth through his powered helmet, but didn't make a move to advance, looking around the cyberpunk sushi bar at the other patrons, many of which had rather high end phones pointed at the confrontation. None reacted to accuse either of the, in his mind, obvious capes of anything, and in fact one of the servers was petting the Kyuubi's tails rather enthusiastically. "… very well," the blue armored tinker gritted out grudgingly, "I will let you go about your business."

Skadi looked the robotic tinker up and down and snorted in contempt. "You are several centuries too early to be trying that mortal, run along home now."

The grinding of teeth continued, but the male eventually snapped his weapon back onto the magnetic attachments to his armored spine and slowly backed out the door, never taking his apparent gaze off either of the ladies, but mostly the fox.

Seeing that the threat was mostly gone, and that the conflict was likely over, Tamamo turned back around and sighed, looking at what she believed to be the poor traumatized staff and chef, and dropping an extra 10% tip for the till. "Sorry for the disruption guys, but I can't exactly predict the future. I'm not Gilgamesh yo~"

The head chef bowed a bit stiffly, hiding his shaking hands as best he could at the knowledge he had been cooking food for Tamamo-no-Mae herself. "Thank you for your patronage Tamamo-sama, please come again."

The server girl pouted when the tails she was petting were taken away, but she didn't actually say anything beyond a polite farewell as the two moved to leave.

"My complements to the chef," Scàthach smiled and bowed lightly, "that was quite delicious, despite the… unseemly interruption."

"I'm going to tell all my friends about how good this place is. Like, imagine what Inari would think." Tamamo gave them a wink and left the shop first, her hips swaying a little on instinct for her fellow goddess to watch, even as she passed Armsmaster outside and made her way down the street, her long tails guiding the way for her potential lover to follow, even if the mood was somewhat ruined.

Skadi smirked and ruffled the hair of the sad server on her way towards the door. Slipping out behind the best fox, she sidled up next to her and leaned against her shoulder while walking, peering behind her companion's head to lock amethyst eyes with Armsmaster's faceplate and blowing him a saucy kiss.

The grinding of Armsmaster's teeth could be heard even down the block as they left to find a place to rest for the night, but the expressions and memes they would see posted on the internet later would be well worth the effort.

 

[Biigoh]

Locked at request of Kitsu