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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

Reader mode
SharkCultist said:
SweetTreat - he's gonna die out there.

CookieMonsterSlayer - nah he's got this!

Cardinal - F in chat boys

Return2Monke - F

LiquidMetal - F

Portly - F

MissusMagenta - IS THAT A FUCK MOTHERING DRAGON?!

CookieMonsterSlayer - ok NOW he might be dead.

I wanna see if you can guess who all the chat members are. 1 or 2 of them are tricky.
Click to expand...
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Ok i need names


Cardinal is Cardin
and Return2Monke is Sun along with CookieMonsterSlayer Ruby but MissussMagenta, LiquidMetal and SweetTreat confuse me
I guess Mercury for LiquidMetal
and MissusMagenta means pink so maybe Nora?
while SweetTreat hm Neo?
 
Gur40 said:
Ok i need names


Cardinal is Cardin
and Return2Monke is Sun along with CookieMonsterSlayer Ruby but MissussMagenta, LiquidMetal and SweetTreat confuse me
I guess Mercury for LiquidMetal
and MissusMagenta means pink so maybe Nora?
while SweetTreat hm Neo?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...
Well holy crap you guessed them all. I thought the magenta thing would trip people up because I was actually referencing that strip of rens hair.

But who could the mysterious portly be?
 
SharkCultist said:
Well holy crap you guessed them all. I thought the magenta thing would trip people up because I was actually referencing that strip of rens hair.

But who could the mysterious portly be?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Truly a mystery on who Portly who could be, with such a strong handsome well mustached name be?

and found this hilarious Coase i hate Tyrian as a person love the character

redheartedtramp
Follow
6h ago

Ruby: Oh! I'm surrounded by a collection of my arch enemies!
Ruby: Cinder! Torchwick! Neo! Uh...uh...and uh...
Tyrian: Are you being serious?!
Ruby: ...I wanna say Todd?
Tyrian: Motherfu-TYRIAN! It's me! Scorpion guy! Remember, when you cut off my FUCKING tail and crippled me for life?!
Ruby: I mean, that was in self-defense...
Tyrian: I tried to kill you! And all your friends!
Ruby: Yeah, but so do the Grimm...
Torchwick: She's not wrong...
Ruby: Besides, aren't you more like Qrow's arch enemy?
Tyrian: Can't a man have multiple arch enemies?
Watt: Only when you're a slut.
Ruby: WATTS!
Tyrian: WHAT?! You remember Watts, but not me?!
Ruby: He brainwashed Penny. I can't let that slide.
Tyrian: YOU NEVER EVEN FUCKING MET!
 
Gur40 said:
Truly a mystery on who Portly who could be, with such a strong handsome well mustached name be?

and found this hilarious Coase i hate Tyrian as a person love the character

redheartedtramp
Follow
6h ago

Ruby: Oh! I'm surrounded by a collection of my arch enemies!
Ruby: Cinder! Torchwick! Neo! Uh...uh...and uh...
Tyrian: Are you being serious?!
Ruby: ...I wanna say Todd?
Tyrian: Motherfu-TYRIAN! It's me! Scorpion guy! Remember, when you cut off my FUCKING tail and crippled me for life?!
Ruby: I mean, that was in self-defense...
Tyrian: I tried to kill you! And all your friends!
Ruby: Yeah, but so do the Grimm...
Torchwick: She's not wrong...
Ruby: Besides, aren't you more like Qrow's arch enemy?
Tyrian: Can't a man have multiple arch enemies?
Watt: Only when you're a slut.
Ruby: WATTS!
Tyrian: WHAT?! You remember Watts, but not me?!
Ruby: He brainwashed Penny. I can't let that slide.
Tyrian: YOU NEVER EVEN FUCKING MET!
Click to expand...
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To be fair, Tyrian only targeted Ruby because of Salem's orders. Tyrian is actually much more interested in Jaune (or more accurately, in whatever it was he sensed from him).
 
Jaune SI BS 26: The Dance 1 New
  • Threadmarks
    • AndrewJTalon said:
    Jaune did love his friends. He loved his girlfriend very much. That's why he was going to so much trouble to try and save them all from a terrible, nightmarish future, after all. He would do anything for them...

    Well. Almost anything...

    Jaune: "No."

    Yang: "Come on, Jaune! It's the Achievemen! They're giving half off tickets to Hunters and Hunters-in-Training! What's not to love?"

    Jaune: "They're a corporate manufactured boy band whose musical talent could fill a thimble. Their composer's birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory that failed."

    Yang: "I know, I know, but come on! It'll be fun!"

    Jaune: "No. Not going."

    Yang: "It's Ruby's first concert!"

    Jaune: "So take her to one featuring a good band!"

    Yang: pouts "... You can feel me up afterwards?"

    Jaune: "I do that anyway."

    Yang: "Oh, now you decide to act like the big Alpha Male?"

    Jaune: "I do when it comes to music. I love you Yang. I would fight to the death for you and never abandon you-"

    Yang: "Except when it comes to an Achievemen concert?"

    Jaune: Takes a long, long breath, and lets out a long sigh "... Fine."

    Yang: "Hee!" She nuzzles and kisses him "Mmm... Knew I could guilt you into it!"

    Jaune: "Just for that, I'm naming our first and secondborn."

    Yang: "Ha! Isn't that a little premature?"

    Jaune: "Ha. I get it."

    They go to the concert... And after the first set, Jaune's eyebrow is twitching.

    Jaune's Brain: Wow. They somehow made 98 Degrees look like the Beastie Boys. The Backstreet Boys would be laughing at these guys.

    Ruby: Oblivious, she just waves her glowsticks in the air "WOOHOO! THIS IS GREAT! COME ON JAUNE! DON'T BE GRUMPY!"

    Jaune: sighs "Woo!" Waves his hands in the air

    Yang: "Haha! That's the spirit!"

    Jaune: "They totally suck though."

    Yang: "I KNOW! But it's great!"

    Blake: "How is it great that they suck?"

    Ruby: "Aw, why are you so grumpy, Blake?!"

    Blake: "Because I have two sets of ears!"

    Weiss: "Wow, and I thought I was cursed."

    Nora, oblivious, just cheers along with the music. Ren stoically waves glowsticks as well. Pyrrha is as well, though her smile is more plastic than usual.

    Jaune: sighs "... It's all for the sake of people we love."
    Blake: grimace... Sighs "Woo."

    Jaune: "Woo."

    The concert mercifully ends... But Nora insists on making use of their VIP access to meet the band. Which they do.

    Jack: "Hey! I'm the leader!"

    Ryan: "I'm the sensitive one!"

    Micheal: "I'm the tough one!"

    Gavin: "I'm the shy one!"

    Ray: "I'm the manly one!"

    Jeremy: "And I'm the nerdy one!"

    All: "Together, we are... THE ACHIEVE MEN!"

    They pose like the Ginyu Force... Yang and Ruby squeal. Nora beams and squeezes Ren's hand.

    Nora: "You forgive me for ogling them, right Ren?"

    Ren: "Yes."

    Gavin: "Woah... Pyrrha Nikos?! You're here too?!"

    Pyrrha: "N-No! I'm uh... Um-!"

    Jaune: "She's Hera... Cleese. You must have her mistaken for someone else."

    Gavin: "I mean... Uh, sure dude. Still, can I get your autograph, 'Hera Cleese'?"

    Pyrrha: "I mean... I guess so... Ahem..."

    Nora: "How is there a manly one and a tough one? Doesn't that overlap?"

    Ray: "No. I have a beard. He doesn't. See?"

    Nora: "Ohhhh! No, I still don't get it."

    Ruby makes a beeline to Jeremy with a big smile.

    Ruby: "Oooh! What did you think of Concordance?"

    Jeremy: "Um... I have no strong feelings one way or the other!"

    Ruby: "Wha-How could you not?! It was a disaster! An utter dumpster fire! How did Wony spend that many lien on it and get such a terrible game?! You can't be serious!"

    Ruby harangues the poor guy until Jaune pulls her back.

    Jaune: "It's cool, sorry Jeremy. She's a spitfire."

    Jeremy: "Th-That's fine!"

    Jack: "So, Miss Schnee... You seeing anyone?" smiles "I did really enjoy your last concert performance."

    Weiss: "O-Oh? I uh... Thank you!" blushes "But uh... Well, at the moment I'm not interested in romance..."

    Jack: "Are you sure? It could be a great way to get back at your dad... Within corporate allowed limits, of course."

    Weiss: "I think I'll pass, thank you."

    Blake: "She's with me." Takes Weiss' wrist.

    Weiss: "BLAKE!"

    Jack: blush "Oh... Um... Er... S-Sorry!" He scurries off

    Weiss: "Blake?! What was that?!"

    Blake: "I was helping."

    Weiss: "No you weren't!"

    Ruby wanders over to the actual band. Jaune follows. Ruby beams at the guitarist, an attractive girl with teal hair in twintails with pink stripes, a pink tank-top, yellow short-shorts, and pink/white stockings under tough leather boots.

    Ruby: "Piper Minke?"

    Piper: "Eh?" Gasps "How'd you know it was me?!"

    Jaune: Oh right... The pink rocker punk girl in the year ahead of us. She wasn't in the show but... I'm not complaining.

    Ruby: "Your guitar scythe. I've seen you working on it! It's a really great weapon!"

    Piper: blush "Oh, well, thank you! I got this gig to help supplement my income. Their usual guy is out sick."

    Jaune: "Woah. So you're a huntress-in-training by day and a part-time musician by night?"

    Piper: "Yeah! After I got in a fight at a night club, my agent let me rebrand as a Huntress-Singer! It's pretty awesome!"

    Jaune: "Sure is. I could see some Rendrix and a little Ryan Johnson in your performance."

    Piper: "Oooh yeah! They're big influences! Well, when I'm not playing crap." wince "Sorry, shouldn't be ungrateful..."

    Jaune: "Nah. It's cool. Secret's safe with me. Still, it is nice to meet another musician."

    Piper: "Oh yeah! You play guitar! You're not too bad, for an amateur."

    Jaune: smiles "Thanks."

    Piper: "It might be nice to jam once in a while, ya know?"

    Jaune: "Really? I'd love to-!"

    Yang stands next to Jaune, her smile once again terrifying.

    Jaune: "-As friends."

    Piper: "Oh! Right... Hey Xiao-Long, relax. He's a little young for me." winks

    Yang: "Eh? Oh, no, I was just letting Jaune and Ruby know it's time to go! ... But thanks."

    Piper: "No sweat!"

    They leave the concert venue. Jaune and Yang holding hands while Ruby talks about things with Nora happily.

    Yang: sighs "Sorry... I guess I am a little hypocritical gawking at the pretty boys then get anxious over you connecting with a girl-"

    Jaune: "Yang, Yang... Relax, okay?"

    Yang: "I'm trying... I'm sorry."

    Jaune: "Hey, you didn't threaten her this time. That's progress."

    Yang: sighs "Yeah... Still. Thanks for not being a grump the whole time."

    Jaune: wince "Sorry..."

    Yang: "Nah. It's fine." grins "I think I'm growing out of it. I just wanted Ruby to have a great time, ya know? And you made sure she did."

    Jaune: smiles and nuzzles her "Mmhm..."

    Pyrrha: sighs

    Jaune: "You okay, Pyr?"

    Pyrrha: "I suppose I can empathise with them. They are a product, packaged to the world. Having to be something they aren't. It made me feel a little sad... And very blessed that I'm with you all."

    Silence. Nora tears up and hugs Pyrrha. So does Ruby.

    Weiss: "Wow... That was very profound, Pyrrha!"

    Pyrrha: "Uh... I didn't mean to make you cry-?"

    Nora: sobs "Pyrrrhhhaaaa~!"

    Ruby: "We're sorry!"

    Jaune: laughs "It's all right, Pyr. They're just overcome with emotion. Right Ren?"

    Ren: deadpan "Yes, I am very moved. Almost to tears."

    Jaune: "See?"

    - - -

    This got away from me, but eh. I couldn't think of anything Halloween themed... Yet.

    Piper Minke is a fan character for RWBY I decided to use on a whim: Piper Minke
    Click to expand...
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    Of course things couldn't be Slice of Life forever. That would make for a very boring anime...

    Jaune met with Cinder in a secluded part of the Library Archives.

    Cinder: "We have a major operation commencing soon-"

    Jaune: "Yeeeeah, about that... Cinder? I don't think it's a good idea."

    Cinder: scowl "What do you mean?"

    Jaune: "I mean... Whatever you've been stealing all that Dust for? It's best to wait to use it. Any terrorist activity now will just heighten security. We've already got Atlas deploying a substantial force here for Vytal. We don't need to put them even more on guard. What if they increase their cybersecurity or something?"

    Cinder: "Heightening fear and uncertainty is a key part of the operation-"

    Jaune: "True, true, but it's better to save that Dust for the main thing. Unless we could achieve some kind of strategic victory with... I dunno... Rigging a bunch of Dust bombs? Better to save it for Vytal. Plus, Roman's got enough heat on him. We lose him, we lose a vital asset."

    Cinder sighs in extreme annoyance.

    Cinder: "... I suppose you have a point." scoffs "However... The main proponent of the operation are our furry little friends. In particular, a certain bull wants to show the world they mean business."

    Jaune's Brain: Huh. So Cinder isn't totally braindead in this universe. Aw shit, I gotta be even more careful now!

    Jaune: "I see. Can't you tug on his leash? Make him heel?"

    Cinder: sigh "I've been trying but he simply refuses to obey. I think the loss of his little girlfriend has really hit him hard."

    Jaune's Brain: Ugh, and he's a total simp still. Wait, I want him to be a simp! That makes him predictable! Or do I? If he's got dimension to his character then maybe I could reason with him at some point? Ugh, which would be more helpful? Badly Written Canon Adam, or Adam who is actually written like a human being? Er, Faunus.

    Cinder: "Anyway, I will do what I can... Just as long as you provide me with a distraction for the Dance. You'll be my date, of course."

    Jaune: "Wait what?!"

    Cinder: "It's the perfect cover-"

    Jaune: "No. Sorry, but if I suddenly break up with my girlfriend to go out with a random girl, especially one with a lot of attention on her? That will look REALLY suspicious. Not that I'm not flattered, but mission first."

    Cinder: scowls "... I see..."

    Jaune: brightly "Don't worry though! I found you a date!"

    Cinder: raised eyebrow "Did you?"

    Jaune: "Eeyup! He's a good guy." Pause "Well he's... Okay. He's... A bastard, actually. He's my cousin. He's an idiot and a scoundrel and you are free to beat him up afterwards because he deserves it. But! As I said, he's an idiot. And as long as Emerald and/or Neo give him some illusions that he actually made it with you, he'll be the perfect cover."

    Cinder: grimace "Must we?"

    Jaune: "Trust me, if he thinks he made it with you, he'll run off out of fear of a second date. He's a total scumbag."

    Cinder: "Hmmm... All right. Still..." Leans in and whispers in his ear "You don't know what you're missing out on."

    Jaune's Brain: Gahhhhhhh! Why does she have to be so hot and so evil?! THIS SUCKS! I know she's a total failure but she's actually really seductive! Wait... I know what to do!

    After the meeting... Jaune goes to the RWBY dormroom. He slams the door open. Yang jumps from where she was chilling out.

    Yang: "Jaune? What are you-?!"

    Jaune pounces on her and kisses the HELL out of her. He then pulls back, panting.

    Jaune: "Haaa... Haaa... Wanna go to the dance?"

    Yang: "Hwah... Ah... Y-Yes?"

    Jaune: beams "Cool!"

    Yang: "Um... G-Goodwitch is making me organize it and so I might not get to dance-"

    Jaune: "I'll help you. I just want to spend my time with you."

    Yang: giggles "Maybe if you kiss me again like that, it'll make the time go faster~?"

    Jaune: "Maybe!"

    They continue to feverishly make out... When the door opens again.

    Nick: "JAUNE!"

    Jaune: "GAH! DAD!"

    Nick: "Hm? OH! Sorry son! Sorry Yang! You should put a sock on the door if you're going to do that!"

    Jaune: "I... Y-yeah?"

    Nick: "Heheheh... I used to make out with your mom all the time in-"

    Jaune: "GET THE HELL OUT, DAD!"

    Nick: "RIGHT! SORRY SON!" He shuts the door.

    Isabel walks up to him.

    Isabel: "Nick? Did you tell Jaune about-?"

    Nick: "Yes, yes! All that junk! He's with his girl, Izzy!"

    Isabel: "Oh... OH!" bright red "Oh... Well. Ahem... We should just leave them to it."

    Nick: "Yup!"

    Isabel: "... He is using protection, right?"

    Nick: "I didn't ask. But hey! If they aren't, we get grandkids! I say it's win win!"

    Isabel: scowls, raises her voice "Jaune! Are you using protection-?"

    Jaune: "YES MOM! NOW PLEASE GO AWAY!"

    Isabel: "Hmph. Just trying to help-"

    Nick: "WE'RE GOING!" He pulls Isabel away
     
  • New
  • Threadmarks
    • That said, SI!Jaune has been holding back on going all the way with Yang. He wants to, of course: He's a teenaged boy for God's sake. But he also wants to make it clear he's not in this relationship just for sex.

    Of course Yang may try to force the issue at some point because she's got hormones too, damnit. Also she doesn't want to let any other girl take Jaune before her.
     
    Ruby finds out she has ANOTHER half sister.

    Turns out before she got with her dad she had a wild party night to drown her misery in taiyang being with Raven.

    Which ended up with her having a baby that the dad won custody of.

    So Ruby brings all her friends and family to meet her sister.

    Maple.

    images
     
    SharkCultist said:
    Ruby finds out she has ANOTHER half sister.

    Turns out before she got with her dad she had a wild party night to drown her misery in taiyang being with Raven.

    Which ended up with her having a baby that the dad won custody of.

    So Ruby brings all her friends and family to meet her sister.

    Maple.

    images
    Click to expand...
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    Maple and Yang being the cool older Sister's to Ruby sounds awesome! Maple indulging Ruby in all things games cute and ultra violence and Yang realizing she is the the mom!Sibling twice over the the nerdy girls!
    Who else would be on Maple's team or would she be an support student instead of a combat student - using the MHA idea of Beacon both training Huntsmen and those that support them

    though i guess Maple dad is either a sore spot... or Qrow
     
    Maple Rose New
  • Threadmarks
    • Gur40 said:
    Maple and Yang being the cool older Sister's to Ruby sounds awesome! Maple indulging Ruby in all things games cute and ultra violence and Yang realizing she is the the mom!Sibling twice over the the nerdy girls!
    Who else would be on Maple's team or would she be an support student instead of a combat student - using the MHA idea of Beacon both training Huntsmen and those that support them

    though i guess Maple dad is either a sore spot... or Qrow
    Click to expand...
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    Weiss: "...so. the type is genetic I see."

    *Seeing Jaune, taiyang, and another blonde guy all standing together being idiots*

    Maple: "what do you mean?"

    Weiss: "nevermind. So how did you get taiyang and Yang to accept you so fast?"

    Ruby: "she showed them her dragon!"

    Weiss: "I'm sorry she what?"

    Yang: "she used her semblance and made a big poison dragon thing but couldn't dispel it so she threw it in a random direction and nuked half the Forrest then spent 10 minutes crying."

    Weiss: "and that worked?"

    Yang: "she made a big murder dragon thing then instantly afterwards hit all the nervous anxiety filled adorable dork buttons Ruby hits. We had absolutely no defense."

    Weiss: "you expect me to believe that?"

    *Yang points to a cliff off in the distance which is surrounded by dead trees and a ominous purple fog*

    Weiss: "well ok then."
    He moved next door to taiyang and they're being co-dads.

    The fangirls are pleased. The yaoi has doubled.

    Maples semblance is HYDRA.

    Nobody is actually sure where her hilariously hardy defense and speed debuff come from.
     
    Last edited:
  • New
  • Threadmarks
    • RandomDragon said:
    whelp...even Yang has that type if were going by the SI shorts and such.

    Juane just hits the trio's buttons just right, that poor man has no idea whats going to happen is he?
    Click to expand...
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    The funny part of all that is if she resists going for the type her mom's had (blonde himbo)

    She goes for her dad's type (dark haired tsundere with a running away problem)
     
    SharkCultist said:
    Weiss: "...so. the type is genetic I see."

    *Seeing Jaune, taiyang, and another blonde guy all standing together being idiots*
    Click to expand...
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    Will Jaune be getting the Shovel talk from Tai, a gentle hand on his shoulder from the Co-parent himbo and a punch from Qrow for Dating Maple and Ruby?

    Or would Tai and his husband co-parent just be happy there with someone that appreciates and cares for there lil girls and seems like a golden retriever in human form
    SharkCultist said:
    Yang: "she made a big murder dragon thing then instantly afterwards hit all the nervous anxiety filled adorable dork buttons Ruby hits. We had absolutely no defense."


    Maples semblance is HYDRA.

    Nobody is actually sure where her hilariously hardy defense and speed debuff come from.
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...

    Fragile Speedster Ruby and Tank Turtle Maple with Battle Dance Yang forced to be an allrounder to keep her sister safe and end up with her later Volume fighting style and level just in time to stomp Mercury

    Or Yang and Maple have a tank off Yang just going wild on a pack of grimm as Maple just lets them hit her until they get tired or unleash the hydra! ... Sorry Yang!


    SharkCultist said:
    He moved next door to taiyang and they're being co-dads.

    The fangirls are pleased. The yaoi has doubled.
    Click to expand...
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    The Day Blonde Himbo Co-Parent or BHC brought a home made lunch to Tai class the fangirls became Yaoi Fangirls... Quick Make sure Blake doesn't see them together and too late
     
    Absurd thought: Blake is wrong about the bigotry faced by the people of Menagerie. Racism isn't the issue, but as islanders living in a beach commune with no obvious form of commerce or trade, the common perception is that they're all goddamn hippies.
     
    Last edited:
    Gur40 said:
    Will Jaune be getting the Shovel talk from Tai, a gentle hand on his shoulder from the Co-parent himbo and a punch from Qrow for Dating Maple and Ruby?

    Or would Tai and his husband co-parent just be happy there with someone that appreciates and cares for there lil girls and seems like a golden retriever in human form


    Fragile Speedster Ruby and Tank Turtle Maple with Battle Dance Yang forced to be an allrounder to keep her sister safe and end up with her later Volume fighting style and level just in time to stomp Mercury

    Or Yang and Maple have a tank off Yang just going wild on a pack of grimm as Maple just lets them hit her until they get tired or unleash the hydra! ... Sorry Yang!




    The Day Blonde Himbo Co-Parent or BHC brought a home made lunch to Tai class the fangirls became Yaoi Fangirls... Quick Make sure Blake doesn't see them together and too late
    Click to expand...
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    Qrow was planning to attack Jaune. But his bad luck semblance makes it so he arrives right after a prank Yang pulled. He is terrified to see blonde Ruby and maple. The blonde spreads. Nobody sees him for like half a year as he hides out in a cave surviving off of mushroom wine.

    Also I'm just going to point out, maple and Yang have the potential to be a horrifying pair. A semblance that turns damage into power paired with a semblance that deals DPS damage? Someone is getting their shit pushed in.

    The yaoi has its own publishing company newly established. Nobody knows who the two mysterious owners of snowcat productions are but one is great at business and one really knows their porn male bonding literature.
     
    cavalal386 said:
    Poor Qrow, always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
    Click to expand...
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    Qrow fans the flames of the Yaoi Fangirls by drunken ranting about how Tai left him for a new man

    More ideas!
    Maple and Ruby at a weapon expo or shop and Maple designing her Machine God armor with Ruby
    Jaune being oblivious to Maple and Ruby teaming up to seduce him
    Yang torn between threatening Jaune or watching her siblings cringe fail there way into a relationship... she takes pictures
    Maple and Blake just reading together or discussion a fantasy story
    Yang and Maple coming up with Combo attacks of mass destruction
    Nora and Maple scarfing down food together
    Pyrrha fight Maple and shocked at her endurance and defense
    and angst of Ruby and Maple talking about Summer
     
    Gur40 said:
    and angst of Ruby and Maple talking about Summer
    Click to expand...
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    Alright you want me to make this sad? Bet.


    Maple: "I never got to know her. Dad didn't have the best opinion of hunters being active with kids, he made her choose give up the life or give up ever seeing me "

    Ruby: "why would he do that? Why would she?"

    Maple: "dad said it's hurt less never knowing her then it would loving her and losing her. I guess she agreed."

    Ruby is quiet sitting by their mothers grave with her sister but privately? She agrees with Maples dad. It probably does hurt less.
     
    Last edited:
    Ok I'm sorry for double posting but this idea just hit and I didn't want to taint the maple stuff having them in the same post.

    Peter Ports estranged son comes to Vale and nobody can handle it.

    Porter Starboard. Rail thin dresses in fine burgundy suits complete with a monocle and magnificent mustache.

    He looks like a distinguished gentleman.

    He is not.


    I want you to picture this gentlemen looking man in the trashiest strip club you can.

    "Hoho yes. Put your ass in my face while I sip my brandy."

    "You there sir. Bring me the stripper that still has a spark of hope in her eyes."
     
    Taiyang "Whole Team" Xiao Long New
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    • Qrow gets turned into a woman thanks to a magical artifact.

    Qrow: "Welp... I guess I lost the bet. Taiyang? You gonna wife me up or not?"

    Taiyang: "HELL YEAH! WHOLE TEAM, WOO!"

    Yang: Deeply traumatized "Wh-Wh-WHAT?!"

    Taiyang: "I bet Qrow that if he ever turned into a woman, he'd go out with me!"

    Qrow: "And I lost. Should've known. On the plus side, my tits are bigger and better than Raven's."

    Taiyang: "I'll be the judge of that!"

    The two leave. Ruby hums, trying to be optimistic.

    Ruby: "... Hey... Maybe we'll finally get a little brother?"

    Yang: goes to the nearest window and retches
     
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