[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

[Bofors40mm]

salummer(?), to ruby and yang about jaune: grandbabies now.

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Operation produce enough grandchildren that she's too distracted to be evil?

 

[AndrewJTalon]

It's funny when realizations hit you. Often when you're doing something potentially unwise.

The realization hit Whitley Schnee like a slap to the face while he was standing in the middle of Vale's bustling commercial district. He had decided to leave his hotel where he was staying while he worked on the Vytal Festival for his father.

He was rich. He was famous. And he was completely, embarrassingly defenseless.

His name alone made him a walking target. His father's enemies, the White Fang, random opportunists: Any of them could decide today was the day to grab the youngest Schnee heir. And what would he do? Throw lien at them?

…Actually, that gave him an idea.

Whitley scanned the crowd until his eyes landed on the first person who looked like they might know how to throw a punch. Or shoot a gun. Or both.

She was standing outside a weapon shop, bouncing on her heels while eating a cookie the size of her face. Short black-and-red hair, bright silver eyes, and a massive scythe strapped to her back like it weighed nothing.

Perfect.

Whitley marched up to her, pulled out his wallet, and slapped an entire stack of high-denomination lien into her hands.

"You're a Huntress, correct?" he asked, voice crisp and business-like. "I require a bodyguard for the day. That should cover your fee, plus hazard pay. Do we have an agreement?"

Ruby Rose blinked at the money, then at him, then back at the money.

"Uhhhh… sure?" She tilted her head, cookie crumbs on her cheek. "Wait, are you being chased by Grimm right now? Or bad guys? Or both?"

"Not at this exact moment," Whitley said, already regretting everything and nothing. "But the odds are statistically high. Shall we?"

Ruby's entire face lit up like Crescent Rose on overdrive.

"OKAY!"


What followed was not a bodyguard assignment.

It was a roller coaster.

Ruby decided the best way to "protect" him was to show him how normal (As if either of them knew what that was) people lived in Vale. Within twenty minutes Whitley found himself in an arcade, holding a plastic gun and being screamed at by an overly enthusiastic Ruby.

"Shoot the zombies, Whitley! Not the civilians! No, not that civilian either—okay, maybe that one was a zombie, good job!"

He lost horribly. Ruby won every round and celebrated by buying him an oversized slushie "for morale."

Then came the "gallivanting" portion.

Ruby dragged him to a food truck festival, a weapons shop where she gave him an exhaustive rundown on so many guns that his eyes began to glaze (and he bought one just to shut her up and get out of there), and a comic book store where she spent forty minutes explaining why a certain issue of The Adventures of Xray and Vav was peak fiction. Whitley, who had never been allowed junk food or "frivolous reading material," discovered he actually liked both.

He didn't like getting shot at, which he learned quickly.

This happened when a small group of low-level White Fang thugs spotted his distinctive white hair and decided to make a quick score.

Ruby's reaction time was terrifying.

One second she was mid-sentence about weapon maintenance. The next, Crescent Rose was unfolded and she was a red-and-black blur of petals and high-velocity gunfire.

Whitley stood frozen as she took down four armed Faunus in under ten seconds without breaking a sweat.

When it was over, Ruby spun back to him, scythe collapsing with a cheerful shink, and offered the brightest smile he'd ever seen.

"You okay? They didn't even get close!"

Whitley stared at her, heart still hammering, adrenaline singing in his veins… and realized he was grinning like an idiot.

"That was the most fun I've had in my entire life."

Ruby laughed and punched his shoulder lightly. "See? Being a normal person is awesome! Well… mostly normal. With occasional gunfire."

By the time the sun began to set, Whitley was exhausted, sticky from various street foods, and carrying a small bag of comic books Ruby had insisted he needed "for cultural education."

They stopped at a quiet overlook near the cliffs.

Ruby turned to him, silver eyes sparkling in the dying light.

"So… same time next week? I still gotta teach you how to actually aim that pistol you bought earlier."

Whitley hesitated only a second before pulling out his scroll.

"I would like that very much." He held it out. "If you'll give me your number?"

Ruby's face went pink, but she beamed and quickly tapped her contact in.

"Deal! But only if you promise to let me drag you to the new amusement park when it opens. They have a ride that spins you upside down!"

Whitley, who had never been on an amusement park ride in his life, found himself nodding immediately.

"I look forward to it."

 

[digcat]

Here's hoping they meet the rest of team rwby next time.

 

[zMADLAXz]

Was rewatching Pyrrha's fights on Youtube because well her fights were fun, and lowkey her Semblance genuinely fucked.

I had forgotten how much she used it. The only people she didn't use it against were team CRDL and not to disparage their skills, but like, other than the dude with the Halberd, they didn't press her. Only the duel wielding guy was putting some numbers with how he deflected her shots.

One another thing that Monty did great was he always avoided that old cliche of fighters hitting swords for 10 seconds straight, usually it is 3-4 exchanges and then a hit, which is really realistic.

Though I have some criticism but ultimately it was good. Great even.

Now the entire reason why I brought this topic out, I have seen in all the older and even newer RWBY fights, and realized that a fighter with solid Defense and actual functioning Armor would actually beat them all up. Like seriously, huntsmen really depend on their speed and esoteric weapons/semblance.

No wonder Hazel was taking all of their asses.

 

[Abramus5250]

Operation produce enough grandchildren that she's too distracted to be evil?

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Evil GILF Summer/Salem is the kind of evil that is easily distracted by not only grandbabies, but everything surrounding them.

Conquering a kingdom gets put off because some of the local PTA moms are trying to get cookies banned and she's made it her mission to join the PTA and subvert it so such a travesty never happens.

Those power-tripping old farts on that neighboring HOA think they can enforce their awful rules outside of their jurisdiction? Not on granny's watch!

Would Salem Summer try to adopt Nora so Ren could marry his partner, and thus give Salem even more grandbabies? Would she adopt Cinder and encourage her to also be with Jaune?

 

[John Jackson]

Tai
"While I approve in principle Honey we really can't put the HOA's boards heads on spikes as a warning to the next 10 generations…maybe something with fire instead"
She might pull a pro gamer move and adopt REN so he can marry Nora after she's adopted by the Arc family for maximum grandchildren.

 

[KarasAdamas]

"I PANICKED!"

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With the amount of times Blake has pulled the Boyfriend to Engaged to Pregnant in this thread, it is now officially my head canon that this is Blake's panicked response. Specifically when it involves her parents.

 

[cavalal386]

With the amount of times Blake has pulled the Boyfriend to Engaged to Pregnant in this thread, it is now officially my head canon that this is Blake's panicked response. Specifically when it involves her parents.

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that, and running away from her problems.

 

[AndrewJTalon]

The arcade was loud, bright, and full of cheerful chaos — exactly what Ruby had hoped for.

After she'd learned that Jaune used to be a pretty big gamer before Mia came along, Ruby had made it her personal mission to drag him and Mia out for a "rediscovery day." Jaune had been hesitant at first, but the moment Mia heard "video games," her eyes lit up like Crescent Rose in scythe mode.

Now the three of them were deep in the arcade, moving from station to station.

They started with fighting games. Jaune and Ruby went head-to-head while Mia cheered from Jaune's lap. Ruby won most rounds, but Jaune managed a few surprise comebacks that had Ruby yelling in delight.

Then came the rhythm games. Mia insisted on playing with them, standing on a box between Jaune and Ruby. She stomped and clapped with wild enthusiasm, missing almost every beat but laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

Shooter games came next. Jaune and Ruby teamed up in co-op mode while Mia "helped" by pressing random buttons and shouting "PEW PEW PEW!" at the screen.

By the time they took a break, all three of them were smiling and a little sweaty.

They wandered over to the small café attached to the arcade. Ruby ordered the most ridiculous sugary dessert she could find — a towering ice cream float with extra whipped cream, sprinkles, and a cherry on top. Jaune got a sensible sandwich. Mia had a healthy lunchbox Jaune had packed, but she kept eyeing Ruby's float with open longing.

"Can I have some?" Mia asked, ears perked hopefully.

Ruby grinned. "Sure!"

Jaune gave her a pointed "Dad Look."

Ruby flushed instantly. "I mean… one bite. Just one!"

Mia took her bite, eyes widening in pure bliss. "It's so good! More please!"

Ruby glanced nervously at Jaune, feeling the full weight of his parental energy. "Sorry, Mia… that's all for now."

Mia's lower lip immediately wobbled into a world-class pout.

Jaune leaned over and gently wiped a bit of whipped cream from her cheek. "If you're good for the rest of the day, we can get a big dessert back at Beacon tonight. Deal?"

Mia sniffled but eventually nodded. "Deal…"

A few minutes later, Jaune stood up. "I'll be right back. Gotta use the bathroom. Ruby, can you watch her?"

"On it!" Ruby said, giving a determined salute.

The moment Jaune disappeared around the corner, Mia turned those big blue eyes on Ruby again.

"Auntie Ruby… pleeeeease can I have more float?"

Ruby hesitated, biting her lip. "Mia, your dad said—"

"But it's so yummy!" Mia whined, giving the most effective puppy-dog eyes in Remnant.

Ruby lasted about ten seconds before caving. "Okay… just a tiny bit more."

Five minutes later, Jaune returned to absolute mayhem.

Mia was running around the arcade like a sugar-fueled goblin, cackling wildly and weaving between game machines. Ruby was desperately chasing after her, arms outstretched, clearly trying (and failing) not to use her Semblance in a public place.

"Mia! Come back here!" Ruby called, voice cracking with panic. She jumped ahead of her with her Semblance, reappearing right in front of Mia... Who turned and dove between the arcade cabinets to the next row. "AH! HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

Ruby leaped over and landed, trying to catch the little half-Faunus girl, but Mia had dashed away again between some claw machines.

"MIA!"

Mia darted straight for the ball pit, scrambled up the nets surrounding it with surprising agility, and perched at the top like a triumphant monkey.

Jaune's voice cut through the noise, firm and stern. "Mia Arc. NO. Down. Now."

Mia froze, ears flattening. She looked at him defiantly for a second… then her face crumpled when he added, "If you don't come down right now, no more dessert for a month."

Mia gasped.

"No!"

"Yes!" Jaune insisted. "And no more game days with Ruby!"

"Th-That's right!" Ruby added weakly.

She sniffled, eyes filling with tears. "I… I can't get down…"

Jaune sighed and stepped in front of the ball pit, holding his arms out. "Jump. I've got you."

Mia hesitated only a moment before dropping into his arms. He caught her easily and held her close as she buried her face in his shoulder, still sniffling, the sugar rush winding down.

"Excuse me you two."

Which is when security found them.

- - -

Five minutes later, they stood outside the arcade on the sidewalk, the noisy honks of mid-day traffic filling the air. The owner made things clear: Don't come back for two weeks, or get a permanent ban.

Which felt like a death sentence to Ruby.

Looking utterly mortified, she turned to her friend. "Jaune, I'm so sorry! I only gave her a few more sips, I swear! I didn't think she'd turn into a hyperactive gremlin!"

Jaune shifted Mia to one arm and gave Ruby a tired but gentle smile. "It's okay. She's very sly and cute… and that makes it really hard to say no to her." He raised an eyebrow. "Without experience."

Ruby groaned, covering her face with both hands. "I ruined everything…"

Jaune chuckled softly. "Not at all. I'm actually glad you dragged us out today. I'd almost forgotten how fun this stuff could be." He glanced at the chaos around them and smiled wider. "Plus… watching you try to catch her was pretty funny."

"It was not!" Ruby pouted.

"It was," Jaune chuckled, as Ruby covered her face.

Ruby peeked through her fingers, still blushing. "You're not mad?"

"Nah." Jaune adjusted Mia, who was already calming down in his arms. "I appreciate how hard you try with us. And honestly… I think you'd make a really good mom someday."

Ruby turned scarlet, eyes going wide. "Wha- I- That's-!"

Jaune just laughed warmly as they started walking back toward the exit, Mia already dozing against his shoulder, sticky hands clutching his hoodie.

Ruby trailed after them, heart racing and mind spinning with way too many thoughts she definitely wasn't ready to examine yet.

But one thing was certain: arcade days with Jaune and Mia were going to become a regular thing.

... In two weeks.

 

[zMADLAXz]

I like all these snippets but Jaune is acting really lax with Mia. Not like a responsible father.

She constantly gets too many sweets, gets lost, Mia talks when she is supposed to stay silent etc.

Look we all enjoy her shenanigans, she's a sweet angel, but Jaune's gotta start putting boundaries because rest of the world just spoils her.

And despite how cute kids are, we all know you sometimes gotta be strict or they grow up to be troublemakers.

 

[Bommel]

Some speculation on the Schnee family, and specifically why Willow and Jacques have had 3 children together.
I've put it in this thread here, because despite the speculation being about sex, nothing about it is hot.

Willow has had 3 children with Jacques, but why?

It's very clear that Willow and all of her children hate Jacques (even if Whitley is able to hide that from the world) because he's been an abusive father and husband for what has clearly been years if not most of the lives the children.
There is literally nothing that indicates that Jacques was ever a good father or husband, and it's made very clear that the only reason why he married Willow in the first place is to take over her family company (he literally told that to Willow's face).

So Willow would have already have been bad by the time they had their youngest child.
Because Winter is in her mid-20's, Weiss is 17 when the story starts, and Whitley is something like 14, so Winter would have been at lest 10 before Willow got pregnant with Whitley.
That's a whole decade plus additional time before Willow got pregnant the fist time with Winter, which would have been more then enough time for Willow to have experianced and realise that Jacques emotionally abusive and a bad person.


So hear me out, a possible reason that I can think of is that..... Jacques is a creepy pervert.

Willow would not have wanted to have sex with Jacques again after all the emotional abuse and him telling her that he only married her to get her wealth and family company.
But after that Willow started drinking to cope, after she fell into despair, and so is drunk quite often.
This could implies that she was drunk when Whitley and Weiss were concieved, and Jacques took advantage of Willow when she was heavily intoxicated to become agreeable enough to have sex with Jacques.
Those times where she got that heavily intoxicated might have been a direct result of Jacques being particularly emotionally abusive.
Willow hasn't been able to report this because of all the power that Jacques has (including over any lawyers she could use to sew him), and she's never told any of her children because she doesn't want them to know (the only one besides Willow and Jacques who might know is Klein, who also can't do a lot for similar reasons).

Why would Jacques do this, rather than just hiring some callgirl?
All Jacques cares about is his greed money and power, and is also willing to do whatever it takes for the sake of profit and/or power.
So he'd get a kick from being in a position of power, and if Willow is really drunk, she can't really resist if she wanted too, or is too out of it to resist at all.
If Jacques is a creepy pervert who gets off on having power over others it could also open the possibility that Jacques has the women of the household staff into demeaning outfits (such as french maid outfits).

 

[Azzy Rael]

I like all these snippets but Jaune is acting really lax with Mia. Not like a responsible father.

She constantly gets too many sweets, gets lost, Mia talks when she is supposed to stay silent etc.

Look we all enjoy her shenanigans, she's a sweet angel, but Jaune's gotta start putting boundaries because rest of the world just spoils her.

And despite how cute kids are, we all know you sometimes gotta be strict or they grow up to be troublemakers.

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To be fair, these are snippets of their life. How actually interesting are the basic times of childcare, versus the possibly few times Mia's more chaotic than honestly bad? Further there have been times we see Jaune be strict- but equally it hasn't been all that long since they moved to Beacon, and her entire life has changed. Honestly speaking, I feel Jaune is doing better than a lot of the parents of my friends at at least showing he cares and treating her like a person rather than a weird pet they keep.