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[RWBY] RWBY Shorts

eeesh, on one hand the guy does not want to ruin the friendship with a awesome pal that is a girl and make it awkward for the team dynamics, while the gal who was a 4 time Championship winner does not want to ruin the friendship with the first person that saw her for a person instead of a Goddess and ruin team dynamics on a possibility of rejection. I am surprised that Ren and Nora did not sit them down and outlined it all out and then hopefully Arkos will set sail.
 
A tangent: Every industrialized country since the World Wars has had a Continuity of Operations plan for their government, In case of a big enough natural disaster or war that necessitates fleeing somewhere else to maintain the running of their countries. As well as Designated Survivors who will take the head office of their government if everyone else is killed.

So, a fun fic concept might be exploring that with Vale. Imagine being the Vale Secretary of Agriculture or Transportation equivalent in another city outside of Vale proper and getting the call about the situation in Vytal. That the Council is dead, most major communications are down, and there is a massive attack on Vale city from Grimm and White Fang forces.

What happens next?
 
A tangent: Every industrialized country since the World Wars has had a Continuity of Operations plan for their government, In case of a big enough natural disaster or war that necessitates fleeing somewhere else to maintain the running of their countries. As well as Designated Survivors who will take the head office of their government if everyone else is killed.

So, a fun fic concept might be exploring that with Vale. Imagine being the Vale Secretary of Agriculture or Transportation equivalent in another city outside of Vale proper and getting the call about the situation in Vytal. That the Council is dead, most major communications are down, and there is a massive attack on Vale city from Grimm and White Fang forces.

What happens next?

Reinstate the Monarchy!
 
Are Ya Winning, Son? Names
Ruby: "Hey Mister Arc! Hey Mrs-Er-Doctor Arc!"

Ruby pops in on them while they're eating a picnic lunch on the quad lawn.

Isabel: "Hello Ruby."

Nick: "Hey!"

Ruby: "I had a question! Um, if you don't mind?"

Nick: "Not at all! Oh! Oh! Hang on, first... Catch this cookie!"

Ruby: "OOH I LOVE THIS GAME!"

Nick throws a cookie into the air with his incredible strength, sending it flying almost as fast as a bullet... And Ruby catches it in her mouth thanks to her Semblance.

Ruby: "OMMMMMNNNGGHHH!"

SMASH! CRASH! A car alarm goes off.

Nick: "... Um... Oops?"

Isabel: sighs in irritation "Nick...!"

Later... Isabel had patched up Ruby and is healing her. Nick is on the corner of the picnic blanket nearby, brooding unhappily after his scolding.

Nick: "She loves that game!"

Ruby: "I really do! Though uh, I guess I'm not able to play super well yet!"

Nick: "Ha! You should see Jaune. He went through a barn last time we played."

Isabel: "Without his Aura!"

Nick: "Like a champ! I was so proud of him!"

Ruby: "Ummm... Oh! I had a question!"

Nick: "Shoot!"

Ruby: "Isn't Doctor Arc from the Arc family, and you're not?"

Nick: "Yup!"

Ruby: "So why did you take her name and not the other way around? I mean, I know Weiss's dad did that because he wanted to get power, but why would you do it?"

Isabel: "Um, well... It was... A gift, kind of."

Ruby: "A gift?"

Flashback to Isabel and Nick's early days at Beacon. Isabel is going over paperwork.

Isabel: "Nick? NICK!"

Nick is not doing paperwork. He was relaxing on a nearby bed.

Nick: "Yeah?"

Isabel: "I told you to fill out your paperwork! You didn't put your last name!"

Nick: "Hm? Oh. That's cause I don't have one. I mean, not really."

Isabel: "Huh?"

Nick: "Well, I was an orphan. Never knew my folks. My master, Ken, didn't have a last name either since he was a monk and swordsman. And my village wasn't registered with Vale's Identity Database, so I don't know who my folks were. So I just went by 'Nick'."

Isabel: "Is that how you were registered? Just Nick?"

Nick: "Well, Nick 'Blank', but, that's not a great name. Still, is it a big deal?"

Isabel: "It would make things a lot easier."

Nick: "Oh... I guess I'll just make up a last name then. Ummmm... Nick Supermaster!"

Isabel: "No."

Nick: "Nick Ultrablaster!"

Isabel: "No."

Nick: "... Nick Strife?"

Isabel: "NO!"

Nick: "Come on!"

Isabel: sighs "... Hey... If you'd like... You could use my last name?"

Nick: "Eh?"

Isabel: "It would make things a lot easier, if you wanted. I wouldn't be adopting you or anything, but... Well... It'd be yours."

Nick: "Nick Arc...? You'd... You'd do that for me?"

Isabel: sighs "Honestly, there are so many Arcs all over Remnant, it wouldn't be too unusual-"

Nick: "I like it!" He beamed at her "Nick Arc!" He took the paperwork and filled it out "Thanks Isabel. I... I really appreciate it. Only my master gave me a name before."

Isabel: soft, fond smile "Don't... Don't look too much into it, all right? It's just a name."

Nick: "It means a lot to you though, doesn't it? Family? A home? A place where you belong?"

Isabel: "... It does."

Nick: "I... I never really had that before." Beams "Thank you, Isabel. I promise. I won't tarnish the name."

Isabel: "Heh. You'd better not."

In the present...

Nick: "And when I proposed... Well... I told her that it was to make it official. She let me into her family, and her heart, and I wanted to be with her for the rest of my life."

Isabel: blush "N-Nick!"

Nick: "I mean every word."

Ruby: sniffles "That's... That's so romantic!"

Nick: "Aw, thanks Ruby!"

Isabel: sighs, but smiles lovingly at her goofy husband

Nick: "So... Cookie Catch again?"

Ruby: "ALL RIGHT! Let's do this-!"

Isabel: bonks her husband "NOT UNTIL SHE'S FULLY RECOVERED!"

Nick: "OWWW! Yes dear!"
 
Nick: "Not at all! Oh! Oh! Hang on, first... Catch this cookie!"

Ruby: "OOH I LOVE THIS GAME!"

Nick throws a cookie into the air with his incredible strength, sending it flying almost as fast as a bullet... And Ruby catches it in her mouth thanks to her Semblance.

Ruby: "OMMMMMNNNGGHHH!"

SMASH! CRASH! A car alarm goes off.

Nick: "... Um... Oops?"

Tai - " Zippy 2, Nooooooooo!
 
Lancaster Child: "Dad, when did you fall in love with mom?"

Jaune: "Well, it was when your mother found out I knew Nana Arc's Secret Cookie Recipe..."

Lancaster Child: "And then?"

Jaune: "Now, your mother's a small woman, but she's big where it counts: her smile, her love... and that flimsy thing she called an apron wasn't exactly hiding everything else that was big about her."

Lancaster Child: *traumatized shriek*

----------------

Idea: Instead of Jaune's kids being sent back in time, his future wives have their minds swapped with their past selves. Hilarity ensues when they plot their own happy endings, while their past selves deal with what could be, like Weiss's childhood home going from a cold and empty manor to a bustling, loud and happy family house (with ten kids, Arc super-nut will hunt down your eggs!).
 
Lancaster Child: "Dad, when did you fall in love with mom?"

Jaune: "Well, it was when your mother found out I knew Nana Arc's Secret Cookie Recipe..."

Lancaster Child: "And then?"

Jaune: "Now, your mother's a small woman, but she's big where it counts: her smile, her love... and that flimsy thing she called an apron wasn't exactly hiding everything else that was big about her."

Lancaster Child: *traumatized shriek*

----------------

Idea: Instead of Jaune's kids being sent back in time, his future wives have their minds swapped with their past selves. Hilarity ensues when they plot their own happy endings, while their past selves deal with what could be, like Weiss's childhood home going from a cold and empty manor to a bustling, loud and happy family house (with ten kids, Arc super-nut will hunt down your eggs!).

that's hilarious!! I'll have each of the ladies wanting that Arc…and thus the war for juane begins!
 
On the White Sun snippets I think Nora might get it in her head that all the girls are going to try and steal her Renny from her if she doesn't move fast. Wiess got Sun because blake was slow. Blake got Jaune because Pyrrha was slow. either she needs to move quick or she needs to break the kneecaps of whatever hussie tries.
 
Phineas and Ferb In Remnant
I immediately thought of Perry's theme when nick was singing his little tune
Meanwhile, in an alternate timeline during a certain White Fang rally.

Roman: Wait, you hear that noise?

Roman and the Atlas Weakadin- sorry, Paladin got crushed by a superior Mad Scientist-grade colossal mech. Then a hatch was kicked open to reveal someone familiar. He screamed to the sky with his fist raised up high.

???: Curse you Perry the Platypus Faunus!

White Fang 1: Wait, wasn't that the guy from Mountain Glenn screaming about a Platypus Faunus?

White Fang 2: What's his name again? Merlot?

Roman: Help! I'm crushed!

Neo holding up a sign with the words: Are you sure you aren't a Murphy? I have a cousin on downstreet Vale where the whole thing always happens to him.

Blake: What the fuck!?

White Fang members, gasping in shock.

White Fang 1: Oum my Gods, she swore in the rally where we have children here.

Blake: Huh!?

White Fang child: My ears are impure, I have seen the dark side of the world.

White Fang girl: Shh... It's okay, hunny. The big bad false White Fang member will be exiled now.

White Fang 2: It has come to our attention that someone swore. Please take her down and throw her to the garbage where she belongs.

All the White Fang members turned to Blake, as she attempts to exit. Only for Sun to knock her out.

Sun: Language!

The White Fang cheered before one of them shouted.

Random White Fang Member: Let's destroy public property to show how much we respect our newbie!

White Fang 1: WOOOOO!

White Fang 2: Let's flip Beacon's pool as well!

Roman: Still stuck here. It would be a "good" thing to let me out now!

Neo, holding up a sign: Nah, let them cook.


Basically, the entirety of White Fang post-Blake acts like the students in Clone High after Adam had a mental breakdown of him being one of the many clones that Adam has that Merlot created accidentally.

Also minor Phineas and Ferb crossover for Merlot being Doof-expy and the Perry the Platypus Faunus; and minor Milo Murphy's Law crossover for Neo's cousin's family.
 
Ancient Temple Missions
Our heroes end up in a lost, ancient temple filled with horrible Grimm, snakes and scorpions.

Pyrrha: "Um, Jaune, Ruby? Can we go with you when you choose the mission next time?"

Jaune: "Oh come on, this is hardly worse than the last temple of doom!"

Ruby: "And this one has even more puzzles! Yay!"

Weiss: "WHY WOULD ANCIENT PEOPLES MAKE YOU TURN A SUN DIAL JUST TO OPEN A CLOSET DOOR?!"

Ren: "The past is filled with mysteries, indeed..."

Jaune: "Who knows? Maybe they were just bored geniuses. Like, if I was building some gigantic temple, I'd just get bored making everything the same. Why not add some boulder traps?"

Nora: "Ooh! Ooh! Or a room with mashers that smash you if you don't jump through them right!"

Ruby: "Or a room where if you get a lever puzzle wrong, you drown!"

Jaune: "Yeah, see? They didn't have TV back then, so they had to figure out how to make their own fun!"

Yang: "Not my kind of fun, Lover Boy!"

Jaune: "Well that's what the monsters are for."

Yang: "Good point!" YANG SMASH!

Weiss: "And WHY are we risking our lives in this stupid temple?!"

Blake: "To recover the lost erotic sculptures of Eros. They're priceless historical artifacts and some of the greatest erotic art in the world!"

Weiss: "... You're kidding."

Blake: "I'm not."

Jaune: "She's not."

Ruby: "Really, that is in the mission briefing."

Weiss: "WE'RE RISKING OUR LIVES FOR PORN?!"

Blake: "Erotica, thank you! And it's history!"

Nora: "EROTIC HISTORY!"

Jaune: "Also we're getting paid pretty well. There's also that."

Ruby: "AND PUZZLES!"

Weiss: "Can you believe this, Pyrrha?!"

Pyrrha: blush "... Is the erotica... Really that good?"

Blake: nods "Absolutely."

Pyrrha: "Then... Well... Anything for the sake of history~!"

Weiss: sobs "What did I do to get assigned two teams of lunatics?!"

Jaune: "Come on, if you didn't actually like it, you'd have waited in the Bullhead!"

Later...
Weiss: "Wha... YOU ORDERED THIS MISSION, BLAKE?!"

Blake: "As Princess of Menagerie, I should be a patron of the arts and work to preserve the glories of our past for future generations to learn from and enjoy!"

Weiss: bright red "IT'S FIVE HUNDRED STATUES OF PEOPLE IN DEBAUCHERY!"

Blake: "Yes, and now it will be preserved and enjoyed for all time!"

Weiss: "Honestly, there's no way some of these positions are possible..."

Blake: "Perhaps we should aid in the research! Jaune, what do you say to me commissioning the teams again to-?"

Jaune: "No."
 
Weiss: "Honestly, there's no way some of these positions are possible..."

The power of Aura leads to a path some would call "obscene". Others would call it... "a good time".

Anyways, I'm sure someone will be interested in learning from these statues and making a modern compilation.
 
The power of Aura leads to a path some would call "obscene". Others would call it... "a good time".

Anyways, I'm sure someone will be interested in learning from these statues and making a modern compilation.


our world has something as well known as the Kamasutra, plus other things that preserved erotica, why wouldn't other worlds have the same?
 
Weiss: "Honestly, there's no way some of these positions are possible..."

Blake: "Perhaps we should aid in the research! Jaune, what do you say to me commissioning the teams again to-?"

Negative emotions draw in Grimm, so maybe positive ones repel them? :V

If Jaune & Co are Indiana Jones, whose playing the German's?
 
Knightshade: Technicalities
Blake Belladonna seldom emoted. It was not in her nature. However, the news she was given in Headmaster Ozpin's office was terrible enough she felt she absolutely deserved to express it loudly.

"I'm WHAT?!"

"Facing expulsion, and possible deportation," Ozpin repeated calmly. Blake gaped at him as he sighed. Professor Goodwitch was ever at his right hand, and took up the explanation from there.

"You entered this school with forged identity documentation, Miss Belladonna," Goodwitch said testily, "Despite my disagreement with the Headmaster. He could only get you a temporary student visa for your fraudulent identity."

Blake winced deeply at that. Ozpin gave Goodwitch a look, and the Combat instructor sighed.

"Your circumstances warranted some... Consideration, perhaps," she allowed in a gentler tone, "But if you won't contact your parents-"

"I-I can't," Blake said, looking ashamed. Goodwitch shrugged.

"Then your legal right to stay in this country, at this school, is going to expire."

"What-What about Nora Valkyrie and Lie Ren?" Blake asked desperately. "They're orphans from Mistral!"

Ozpin nodded and sipped his coffee.

"Yes, they are. But while their parent did not survive, their parents did actually do the proper paperwork and sent it to the Mistralian Central Database before they expired. Both Miss Valkyrie and Mister Ren had plenty of verifiable documentation that could be accessed, and their combat instructor at the orphan combat school they attended was their sponsor for citizenship. You have falsified documents that I could finesse into allowing for a temporary study visa. I said you were a Faunus student from Menagerie here as part of a foreign exchange program. But that is the best I could do."

Blake sighed and looked down at her knees. She dug her fingernails into them.

"So... I will have to leave," she murmured. Ozpin shook his head.

"Now now, Miss Belladonna, I would not have called you here if I did not have a solution that would let you legally stay," he said gently. "There are a number of legal ways to go about this, and I have arranged for a lawyer to begin processing."

"If you just told your parents about this," Goodwitch pressed, "I'm sure they would-"

"No! I can't do that!" Blake insisted. Goodwitch sighed. Ozpin shrugged.

"In which case, there is only one real recourse. It was instituted to allow Huntresses to finish their education at Beacon and become citizens without a great deal of red tape. It was enacted after the Faunus Revolution given all the missing records and large losses of life in those times. Many refugees from other kingdoms sought shelter and security. This loophole was left in case of similar disasters in the future."

"What loophole?" Blake asked, leaning forward eagerly.

Ozpin and Goodwitch shared a glance. He sucked in a deep breath.

"Are you absolutely certain you do not wish to contact your parents-?"

"ABSOLUTELY!" Blake insisted. Ozpin shrugged. Goodwitch sighed.

"In which case, the only other option for you is to get married to a Valean citizen."

Blake's jaw dropped.

"M-M-Married?!"

"Just a temporary one," Ozpin insisted, "Long enough to allow for other legal means to go through. It could easily be annulled... If the other party was fine with it, of course."

"You can still call your parents," Goodwitch insisted again.

"Well Miss Belladonna," Ozpin said, "What's it to be?"

- - -

Jaune Arc was stowing his gear in his locker. He'd managed to pull his weight during the last mock battle with Team CRDL, but man, that mace still packed a whallop! Still, Pyrrha's tutelage was really showing. He'd even taken down Sky!

Okay, Sky was their wheezing nerd, but it was still something.

He shut the door on his locker... And yelped at Blake Belladonna standing there.

"Oh! Uh... Hey Blake," He said with a smile. He didn't know her very well, of course, but he was best friends with her team leader so he could be friendly.

"Jaune," Blake said, "I... I need some help."

Jaune blinked.

"Er... Sure. I'll help if I can," he said. "What's the problem?"

Blake sucked in a deep breath through her nostrils.

"I... My visa is expiring. My student visa. I'm... Not a citizen of Vale."

"Oh," Jaune winced, "That really sucks."

"It does," she said, "My... Home situation in my country is... I can't go back."

Jaune nodded again. "I see... I think I can help you."

Blake brightened a bit. Her smile, while small, was pretty.

"Really?" She asked.

Jaune nodded with a smile.

"Sure! My uncle's an immigration lawyer! We get so many newcomers from Vacuo in Radian. I could ask him if he could look into things for you-"

"I... Appreciate that," Blake said, her face a strange mixture of exasperation and gratitude, "But Headmaster Ozpin has a lawyer working on it."

"Oh," Jaune winced. "Sorry."

"But you could help in another way," Blake said quickly. "If... You wanted to."

Jaune smiled.

"I already said I'd help if I could, Blake. What's this other way?"

Blake sucked in a breath.

"Under my current circumstances, I might be deported while my case is being heard. Until my case is finalized, there's... Only one other way to let me stay."

Jaune nodded slowly.

"What's that?"

"Marriage," Blake stated bluntly.

Jaune stared.

"I... Uh... Oh..." He beamed. "And you want me to help you find someone to marry, right?"

Blake sighed.

"No Jaune... I want you to marry me."

Jaune blinked. He blinked again.

"... Hah?!"

- - -

Romantic hijinks and immigration law. A match made in Hell.

And let's be honest, out of everyone else she could choose... Jaune is probably the least offensive. Besides, at this point, if she did marry Yang, she'd strangle her over her bad jokes.
 
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Blake: "well this isn't so bad."


Ozpin: "don't forget to read the fine print."

[*marriage not legal without consummation]

Blake: "fuck."

Ozpin: "precisely."
Samuel L. Jackson: Remember Juan The Sea is the baddest bitch you'll ever know (baddest bitch you'll ever know) Thrust Hard (Thrust Hard Thrust Hard)
 
Dragonslayer: In The Family Way 7
Right, speaking of...

- - -

Saturday had been exhausting. Between everyone's parents showing up, setting up the new room, and having to corral Nora and "Patrick" (Which had involved luring Nora into a trap using a bare-chested Ren slathered in syrup), Yang's energy level was just above zero.

She slumped down on the queen sized bed they'd been gifted, as Jaune shooed Nora, Pyrrha, and Ren out the door. Ren still looked deeply unhappy, as Nora pawed at him. Yang did not envy Pyrrha in the dorms, and shot her an apologetic look.

Pyrrha shot back a sad but coping look, and smiled genuinely when she wished her and Jaune goodnight. Jaune shut the door, and let out a long, hard sigh.

"Geez... I am beat," he muttered. He turned and walked to the bed. He slumped down onto it, staring up at the ceiling before covering his eyes with a groan. Yang chuckled and laid down next to him.

"Tuckered out already?" She asked.

"Anyone would be with Nora," he stated firmly. Yang nodded.

"Sorry I couldn't help with the wrangling, but, ya know, pregnant and all."

"I suspect you're gonna use that excuse a lot in the next few months," he sighed. Yang nuzzled him.

"Aw... Don't blame me, blame our baby! You wanna be a responsible dad and not let Mama overexert herself, right?"

Jaune rolled his eyes.

"You nearly tired yourself out laughing."

"Come on. It was funny," Yang giggled.

"It was not."

"Your voice is scratchy," Yang said. She handed him a bottled water, which he accepted gratefully. The trap bated, she waited until he was gulping it down to spring it.

"Seeing Nora drag you around on that rope! With how much you were yelling, I can't blame you being a little..." She grinned, "horse?"

Jaune groaned into his now empty water bottle, before he tossed it at the waste basket. He kicked Patrick, whom Nora had returned. The rocking horse creaked unrepentantly.

"It was not that funny."

"It absolutely was," Yang snickered. Jaune sighed again.

"Tragedy plus time equals comedy, I guess," Jaune mumbled. He sat up, and looked around at the walls. "Posters are a little sparse. I thought you had more?"

"I did, but 'Achieve Men' posters feel a little inappropriate since I'm preggers and engaged," she said with a shrug. "Besides, I think motorcycles are much better decor."

"No kidding," Jaune said with a grin, nodding at a sleek, wolf-like motorcycle on a poster, "A Remus 205? My dad has one."

"Really?!" Yang gasped. "Those are super rare! How did he get it?"

"He said he got it to fight some evil leather twink who was trying to destroy the world with a giant sword," Jaune said. At Yang's stare, he chuckled. "He actually found it in pieces near an abandoned village and put it back together with help from my mom and her neighbors in Radian. He didn't even know it was that valuable until later. But he told me the first story when I was six."

"He used 'twink' when you were six?" Yang asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Mom really let him have it for that," Jaune said with a nod. He smiled and took her hand, squeezing it.

"I mean... Seriously though... Are you okay with this?"

Yang nodded.

"I-I am... Mostly... It's still scary and new. But... We're gonna have to get used to living together, right?"

"Right," Jaune nodded. Yang smiled.

"And I'm glad you've got more than what you had."

"My parents brought some of my stuff," Jaune admitted. He reached into a box, and rummaged around. He pulled out some books with a smile. "Aw. My parents read these to me when I was a kid. Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn..."

Yang reached in, and blinked at a holotape. She snorted in laughter.

"Professor Paradox: Doom of the Khaleds?"

"Hey, come on, that's a classic!" Jaune said, reaching for the tape. Yang sighed heavily.

"I'm aware. My dad and Ruby watch this show all the time."

"Really? So you're familiar with it?!" Jaune asked, grinning broadly. "Who's your favorite Professor? Your favorite enemy? Your favorite-?!"

Yang really hated to do this, given how enthusiastic he was, but if this was going to work... She had to be honest.

"Jaune? Let me make this clear. I have seen every godsdamn episode of this show. I don't want to see anymore," she said firmly. Jaune's face fell.

"But... Come on... You watched it with your family-"

"Yeah! Because we had one TV and they outvoted me!" Yang scoffed. "I mean... The Tenth Professor Paradox was pretty hot, but I will very happily live the rest of my life never hearing another argument about how the Thirteenth Professor Paradox ruined the franchise worse than the Sixth, or pretending an egg whisk is a death ray, or hearing the Albion Broadcasting Company jingle. Okay?"

Jaune pouted.

"But-"

"Nope! Dad told me honesty is very important in marriages, as are boundaries. No Professor Paradox, ever."

Jaune sighed.

"Fine. Great, our first fight," he muttered. Yang chuckled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Look on the brightside. You can binge the entire show with Ruby and my dad." A pause. "And our baby."

Another pause.

"Maybe."

Jaune brightened.

"I could!"

"Besides," Yang said cheerfully, "There are other things we can do together, right?"

She batted her eyelashes. Unfortunately, Jaune had chosen this exact moment to duck his head back into his box.

"Ooh! You're right! You like Azur Blaze, right? It's a great fighting game, and they made an anime about it in Fuujin-"

Yang cleared her throat, and took him by the shoulder. She pulled him up, and looked at him very intently. She made her smile very sultry.

"Other things?"

Jaune blushed a bit but kept his composure. He cleared his throat.

"I uh... I-I mean... I do want to do that with you, Yang. I really, really do."

"Oh?" Yang cooed, "Really?"

Jaune gulped.

"... I haven't been able to get you out of my head all day."

He said it while looking her in the eyes, though his eyes dipped to her chest at the end. A flash of heat rushed through her, as well as a feeling of intense affection.

"So...?" Yang asked, soft and warm, as she leaned against him. "I mean... I'm already pregnant. And we're engaged."

Jaune put his hand over hers. He nodded very slowly.

"It's just... I don't remember our first time."

"I don't either."

"I..." Jaune swallowed. "I'm... Nervous. I know it's stupid but-"

"I'm nervous too, Jaune," Yang admitted. She flushed at his state. "I-I mean... Ya know... Contrary to my reputation, I was a virgin before we... Ya know..."

Jaune nodded.

"Right... Same... Mostly."

"Mostly?!" Yang demanded, her eyes red and her hair blazing.

What whore took him from me first?! Was the thought that shot through her.

"J-Just... I did kiss one or two girls at my middle school!" Jaune said quickly. "That's it, honest!"

Yang managed to pull her rage back. She frowned and looked at her fists, feeling stupid.

Freaking hormones...

"O-Oh... Um... Sorry," she murmured. Jaune hugged her tightly.

"None were as pretty or amazing as you, though," Jaune said, with that honest, earnest look of his that just made her insides melt.

She pulled him into a kiss. One he returned.

"Let's not worry about anything," she whispered, "We'll deal with all of that tomorrow. Right now? Let's just... Pick up where we left off, huh?"

He smiled.

"Sounds good to me..." He pulled her into a kiss this time, and she returned it eagerly.

- - -

Ruby sighed. It was a bit saddening to not have Yang in her room anymore. Sure, it was silly-She was right across the hall! The room just felt... Lonelier, somehow.

She rolled over to say good night to her other teammates... Then froze.

"Blake? What are you doing?"

Blake flushed. Her bare cat ears twitched.

"Just... Stretching my ears out," she said in a stilted tone. She blushed harder, and gasped.

"What? What is it?" Ruby cried. Blake shook her head.

"N-Nothing!"

Weiss scowled at her from the bottom bunk.

"You're listening to Yang and Jaune, aren't you? You perverted voyeur!"

Blake's silence and guilty look were more than enough evidence in the court of Ruby Rose. Ruby scowled at her.

"You should be ashamed, Blake!"

"It's hard for me not to hear them!" She said defensively.

"You can still plug your ears!" Weiss huffed.

"It's not my fault I have two sets of ears," Blake gritted out... Before she blushed and gasped again.

"What? What?" Weiss cried.

"Ummm..." Blake tried.

"Blake! Seriously, that's gross!" Ruby huffed. "No more eavesdropping!"

"Yeah!" Weiss insisted. "You should absolutely be ashamed of listening in... On what they're doing... Together."

A pause. Weiss cleared her throat, and in a low tone asked:

"What are they doing, Blake?"

Ruby glared.

"WEISS!"

"I was just curious!"

- - -

There, much better.
 
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"Yeah!" Weiss insisted. "You should absolutely be ashamed of listening in... On what they're doing... Together."

A pause. Weiss cleared her throat, and in a low tone.

"What are they doing anyway, Blake?"

When Yang visited her former dorm, she noticed the coating of dust over Blake's books....
 
Blake: "well this isn't so bad."


Ozpin: "don't forget to read the fine print."

[*marriage not legal without consummation]

Blake: "fuck."

Ozpin: "precisely."
D- do they have to record it for proof?????
The vale gov are perverts.
Does Blake have to get pregnant?????!!!??
 
expanding on the half-dragon Jaune idea:
Cardin is a third generation minotaur descendant (those gains are 100% natural, no drugs involved)
Yang discovers the Branwen clan has phoenix blood in them (thats why her hair catches fire when she's angry)
Ren has tengu blood and can manipulate the air to "fly" (infinite double jump is basically flight)
Nora is just Nora, tho Thor was pretty close to demi-god levels of strenght and all his decendants inherited that
Weiss figures out where the characteristic white hair of the Schnees comes from: Somebody in the deep past menaged to rizz and bed a yuki-onna (she is *literally* an ice princess)
Ruby is jealous her family has no supernatural blood whatsoever, just really good anti-grimm inherited semblances
 
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expanding on the half-dragon Jaune idea:
Cardin is a third generation minotaur descendant (those gains are 100% natural, no drugs involved)
Yang discovers the Branwen clan has phoenix blood in them (thats why her hair catches fire when she's angry)
Ren has tengu blood and can manipulate the air to "fly" (infinite double jump is basically flight)
Nora is just Nora, tho Thor was pretty close to demi-god levels of strenght and all his decendants inherited that
Weiss figures out where the characteristic white hair of the Schnees comes from: Somebody in the deep past menaged to rizz and bed a yuki-onna (she is *literally* an ice princess)
Ruby is jealous her family has no supernatural blood whatsoever, just really good anti-grimm inherited semblances

Jaune and Cardin end up having to give exposition while Blake has a minor breakdown.

Blake: *mumbling* "Faunus...yes, faunus...not myths, real faunus...not more special than faunus...equality...yessss, equality..."
 
A Real Dragon 2
Unfortunately, Jaune's secret gets out at Beacon and... Well... Some people have some thoughts.

Cardin: "Wait, wait, wait... You're... A dragon?!"

Jaune: "Half dragon... Part dragon? Not sure how much human but-"

Cardin: "A dragon?!"

Jaune: sighs, rolls his eyes "Yes. Yes I am."

Cardin: "Then... You could have just beat my ass any time you wanted?!"

Jaune: "What?! No! I'm not great at fighting or the transformation! I still struggle to breath fire-!"

Cardin: "You decapitated an Ursa with one blow of your sword!"

Jaune: "Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm actually competent in a fight!"

Cardin: "But you're tougher and stronger than a normal human, right?"

Jaune: "SO ARE YOU! SO IS EVERYONE ELSE AT THIS SCHOOL!"

Cardin: "No. Nuh uh. You made a fool out of me, Jaune Arc!"

Jaune: "Eh?"

Cardin: "NEXT COMBAT CLASS, YOU'D BETTER BRING YOUR DAMN A GAME!" He grabbed Jaune "Nikos! Ren! You're teaching him how to fight! We're making sure he's fighting his best next time!" Glares at Jaune again "You're making me look like an idiot!"

Yang: "Do you need help with that?"

Cardin: "SHUT IT! We're making sure you're fighting at your truest potential! And you're not holding back, GOT IT?!"

Jaune: "Um... Got it?"

Cardin: "GOOD!"

Cardin storms off

Nora: "... I think you made a new friend, Jaune-Jaune!"

Jaune: "How?!"

At CRDL's table...

Dove: "Cardin? You all right?"

Cardin: manly tears "At last... I can have a real rival! A true manly bro who fights and helps me ascend in power! I'VE FOUND... THE GOKU... TO MY VEGETA!"

Sky: "Er... Don't you mean your Vegeta-?"

Cardin: "NOBODY WANTS TO BE GOKU!"
 
Cardin the Nerd
Cardin: "Bro, would you rather marry Chichi, or Bulma?"

Jaune: "Um... Bulma-?"

Cardin: "DAMN RIGHT!"

Jaune: "But a better question is: Would you rather marry Hinata, or Sakura?"

Cardin: "... Well I'm Vegeta in this thing-"

Jaune: "Answer the question!"

Cardin: "HINATA OF COURSE!"

Jaune: "DAMN STRAIGHT! So just don't go Sasuke, bro. You were edging into that, being evil for petty, stupid reasons."

Cardin: "Right, right... Also... Who would you marry? Nobara, or Maki?"

Jaune: "Nobara so I could save her."

Cardin: "... That is acceptable, bro. I'd go for Maki but, Yuta and her is my OTP."

Ruby: "NO WAY! ME TOO!"

Yang: watching this "... I can't believe the school bully is having a nerdfest with Jaune and Ruby."

Blake: "Ridiculous, isn't it?"

Yang: "Yeah."

Blake: "Sukuna x Megumi is the only true OTP."

Yang: "Ha?"
 

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