Seven Colours (Naruto)

[Planeshunter]

Or at least hasn't been shown to be known.

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The shinobi world makes tinfoil theorist look like reasonable people, doesn't it?

 

[One-who-reads]

good to know her not actually trump card trump card is known but her secret fuck you this is my real trump card isn't

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I don't remember, were we ever told what her "secret fuck you this is my real trump card" actually is?

Excellent phrasing, btw.

 

[EternitynChaos]

I don't remember, were we ever told what her "secret fuck you this is my real trump card" actually is?

Excellent phrasing, btw.

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Sealing I believe, as it was something she can do in a little hide out, and unlike chemistry it doesn't cause nasty odours and build ups that would give it away which is what her 'Trump Card' is, for exactly that reason

 

[Sceptic]

The shinobi world makes tinfoil theorist look like reasonable people, doesn't it?

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It's not unreasonable paranoia if there's a bunny goddess imprisoned in the moon out to get you.

 

[Kazorh]

Just remember, they don't need you.

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I'm pretty sure you just told her she was supposed to carry them, actually.

there's a team who wants to try but isn't really up to snuff

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Yup, there it is. It's pretty obvious Ran could have been a chunin from the moment she walked out of the Academy. If those guys "aren't really up to snuff"...

 

[Planeshunter]

I'm pretty sure you just told her she was supposed to carry them, actually.

Yup, there it is. It's pretty obvious Ran could have been a chunin from the moment she walked out of the Academy. If those guys "aren't really up to snuff"...

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... I might've not conveyed what I wanted to convey properly.

The other guys want to give the exam a try but their chances aren't all that good. On the other hand, the Boss Dude wants to get Ran away from the other genin, so he saw the chance to put her into that group and hopefully get her promoted.

It lines up pretty well so he went for it, but neither part is a hard requirement for the other.

If Ran doesn't play ball with the team, Boss Dude is calling it off and making it her fault. He can still send the team, even if their chances won't be as good. He can also, presumably, find another way to handle Ran, or he would sound a bit more desperate. It's not like the 'let's blackmail Ran with Karin' tactic isn't still valid, after all.

 

[LuridThrone]

Its only valid until she kills him with it.

 

[TheGrog]

I wonder if she is going to run to mom. This honestly would justify it.

 

[Planeshunter]

Spoiler: A/N

Been a while, right? Real life decided to throw me a curveball, right as my backlog of snippets ran out so… yeah. My update speed will probably suffer because of this and can't really say when it'll be back to normal. Hopefully it won't connect with my job's high season, but can't make promises, if that's the case I can pretty much bid goodbye to my free time until Christmas. Fingers crossed.

On another note, I'll be forever grateful if you mention it when you see any inconsistency in the plot so I can correct it before it becomes too entrenched in the story. I'd like to think I have a good memory, but not good enough to never forget a detail. And I kind of suck at making notes.

---

029 - On stealthy stealth schooling and stupid simple solutions (I'll be forever grateful, Mother)​

---

A good thing about all this 'getting ready for the exams' thing is that our teams train together, so no more Karin withdrawal. I never thought 'We only pay lip service to the idea of teams' Kusa would train their squads to work together during the exams, but it actually makes sense if you think about it. No matter how much of a mockery we make out of the Konoha's Team and Academy systems, what we're really all about is pissing on the spirit of the rules, after all.

The first day they asked me to show off my skills, and it was honestly a bit embarrassing to admit I still can't use even two jutsu of each element, but they didn't make a big deal out of it so it's fine. They were kind enough to switch topics even, I got to set the rhythm for that first day's training routine, so they would 'know what level I stand at'. But there's been no repeat so far, which is a bit disappointing.

Don't get me wrong, we're training… at a satisfactory intensity. Miles better than team Six-eyes. Even if these people don't dig simple courtesy like warming up at home before coming here, at least they're not lazy bastards. They also don't seem as hostile towards me. Even if my new team leader feels the need to insist everyday on not killing everyone during the exams. What kind of psychos does he usually have to deal with?

"I don't get it, really." I complain to Karin as we walk back home. Because we can walk home together again. Because we train together. Isn't life great? "I mean, even if we wanted to kill everyone. It's kind of unfeasible."

As if we're going to manage killing fucking Gaara. Or Kabuto. Heck, even Naruto will probably shounen-powerup at the last second to hand my ass to me in all his jinchuuriki glory if it comes to that. Karin just nods, she seems kind of distracted.

"Hey, are you alright?" It's subtle, but Karin seems to be getting more frustrated by the day. And I don't know if she's still mourning her old team or if it's something about the new. "They're not giving you a hard time, aren't they?"

"Uh?" Wow, she really was out of it. "No, it's not that, I'm fine."

"You sure? I can and will hang them by their genitals again, you know? Just say the word."

"Ran…" She starts slowly, eyeing me with suspicion. "What do you mean 'again'?"

I look away. "I have no idea what you're talking about. It was just a slip of the tongue."

Karin's eyes continue to study me, full of suspicion, for a whole minute, but in the end lets it go with an amused huff. "Whatever you say Ran, it's just… Remember that conversation we had in your grandpa's caravan? About medic training being dyssergic for me?"

"How could I forget? Only you have ever used that word."

It's Karin's turn to blush, but she still presses on. "You were right back then, you know? Healing is a path that doesn't even make sense for me to take. Just something I can do on the side. But everywhere I go, they try to shoehorn me into the role." Heh, 'shoehorn', another word only she uses. "This team is no different, going on and on about tactics and formations designed to work around a med-nin, and that means I have no time to train my real specialty."

"Oh, yeah, did you finally decide on one?" Between the enforced separation and that week in Hot Spring thinking about anything but shinobi business, there hasn't been that many chances to talk about it. "Will you become a taijutsu mistress to punch bears in the face?"

"Again with the bear obsession." She protests amusedly before suddenly growing bashful and answering your question with a whisper. "No, I decided to follow your advice and focus on covert ops." Awwww that's adorable.

"Yeah, I see how that might be a problem." I agree. "You can always devote most of your efforts to the overlapping skills. It's not really a solution but at least you won't miss out that much."

"... What does medic and stealth training even have in common in the first place?"

"Avoidance." I seem to remember from Tsunade training Sakura that she follows Piccolo's school of DODGE. "Medics are often targeted first, since they're a force multiplier and potentially squishy. So it's important to refine the art of not being there to take the hits."

"That makes sense." She answers thoughtfully, but not very enthusiastically. "Hopefully I can talk them into helping me practice my [Replacement], and maybe my [Mind's Eye of the Kagura]. Not holding my breath on that last one though, they already think it's bullshit as it is."

"Karin, dear, your [detect chakra and emotions just because no jutsu] is bullshit. But I love you all the same" I pat her head comfortingly. "And that's not all you can talk them into letting you practice. [Transparent Escape] to avoid detection, [Body Flicker] to reach wounded teammates faster… All useful skills for your real aims, and easy to pass off as utility medical skills. And that's just what comes to mind at the drop of a hat, I'm sure you can squeeze even more once you have time to think about it."

"Yes, yes! That should work!" Okay, that's the sort of smile I like to see on Karin's face. Mission accomplished. "How do you always come up with these ideas, anyway?"

"Anything can become anything if you learn the right way to sell it to others." I cross my arms and nod sagely. "Once you learn how to bullshit, dear Karin, sky's the limit."

I earned a playful shove for my performance. "That's something, at least." She continues after a while of silent walking. "I would kill for some time for myself though, when I'm not feeling tired enough to just… keel over and die."

"How about making some time in the evenings? I know my own training routine is a bit insane, but I'm sure you can squeeze some practice while I'm down at my lab." Let it be known, I wasn't the one to christen the place 'my lab'. It just kinda happened.

"Can't do. We have more team training in the evenings." Okay, that caught me by surprise.

"Wait what?" What do you mean more training in the evenings? Why didn't I hear about that before?

"We can't all break our team by tricking them into following our training routine for a day, Ran." She answers with an amused expression I personally think is completely out of place. "After you cloister yourself in your totally not a meth lab, I still have more training with the team."

"They're training without me?" For a moment, a surge of indignation comes from somewhere deep inside. Then my brain points out the cold hard facts of the situation and I immediately calm back down. "Actually, wait, that works in my favor. I don't want to abandon my special training for months at a time just because."

"Huh, I always thought you scared them off on purpose."

What's she talking about? "What are you talking about?"

Instead of answering she just shakes her head. "Only you, Ran."

---

Occasions when Mother is both at home for dinner and we have enough prior notice to act on that knowledge have been rare since she deemed me capable of fending by myself, but especially since we became full-fledged genin.

On one such chances we threw a small party. Half just because it's nice to spend time at home with Mother and Karin, half to keep my mind off the unrelenting death by Orochimaru coming at me. It even worked, till I remember why I was so focused on making everything perfect. Then things kinda soured up.

Since I'm no party pooper, I opted to vacate the room with some generic excuse to sit on the garden's porch and try to solve this problem before it comes to bite me in the ass with a legendary poisonous sword.

Truth is, attending the exams with this team is non-negotiable. I'll sooner desert and become a missing-nin. Almost-certain death is preferable to a certain one and there's simply nothing I can do to save them -and me, if I stay with them- from being Orochimaru'd on their way there.

Which is kind of inconvenient, because they're a way better team than my regular one, but such is life. Shinobi life, I mean, which is pretty much an eternally barely delayed state of death, now that I think about it.

… Not the point. What can I do to boycott avoid this? Simply refusing to participate in the exam with some excuse or another might work. In another village. For someone without my reputation. Maybe.

Faking injury? Outright breaking my own leg mere days before the exam? Might work. In another village. For someone without my reputation. Maybe. Also, that would keep me in the village while Karin goes to Konoha. A Konoha about to get invaded, by the guy who's going to kill me.

I'm starting to hate Kusa. And my boss. And my life.

… The last one won't be a problem for much longer if things keep going like this.

Could I kill all my team and maybe someone from Karin's team too so we get sent like that? The killing part was a bit far-fetched, and I wouldn't walk scot free afterwards anyway. Also, if I did Orochimaru would probably kill us anyway to take our places, so back to square one.

Yeah, not my best idea, I just so happen to be a bit short on the good ones.

"What has you brooding like this?" Mother's voice, suddenly beside me, pulls me from my thoughts.

"I don't broo—" I start on reflex, but then shut up, because okay, maybe I'm brooding a bit.

"I guess you're at that age…" Mother sighs and sits with me, putting a cup of hot tea on my hands. "A bit is fine, but don't make a habit out of it or you'll end up with oddly-shaped eyes and spouting bullshit about fate and hatred."

I can only stare dumbly. Did Mother just make a joke?

"Is there something haunting you?"

I keep quiet, unsure of what to do. Should I bother her with my problems again?

She just remains there, not even looking at me. Hands on her own cup and eyes on the skyline.

"Yes." I finally relent. "But I doubt you can help me with this one, unless you know a way for me to avoid the Exams but still be there to watch."

She arches a brow, and I explain my problem the best I can, that is to say, very poorly. She catches the important parts anyway. Mother is cool like that. "Can I assume there's an important reason to set those conditions?" Is her only question.

"I'd say it is of vital importance." Heh, literally so.

"Get a field promotion before then and get there as a spectator."

"Can I—?" I can't believe it's so easy. Is it really so easy? "I mean, is that a thing that can be done?"

"Getting a field promotion is tricky business during peace times, but there are loopholes." Of course there are loopholes, this is the shinobi world. Damn, can't believe it's so simple, I have been going the wrong way about it from the start! "It can be arranged."

I could've kissed her. But she probably would've kicked my ass for it. So I smothered her in the most intense hug I've ever initiated. She kicked my ass for it anyway, but did so with a smile on her lips. Maybe our family was a bit dysfunctional, but we made do.

"You'll have to clear it with the higher ups yourself, though." Well… crud.

 

[LurkingInTheDeceit]

"Karin, dear, your [detect chakra and emotions just because no jutsu] is bulshit

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bullshit

"I would kill for some time for myself though, when I'm not feeling tired enough to just… kneel over and dye."

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die?

from being Orochimaru'd in their way there.

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on their way there.

Got weird reincarnation vibes from Karin this chapter, although that might have been from spending time with the MC.

 

[Wentley]

It is "keel" over, rather than kneel.

I do wonder how she is going to get that promotion. They would really want her to blow away everyone at the blood games.

 

[Planeshunter]

bullshit


die?


on their way there.

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It is "keel" over, rather than kneel.

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Fixed now, thanks for the heads up.

Got weird reincarnation vibes from Karin this chapter, although that might have been from spending time with the MC.

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Yeah, pretty much that. Karin has spent the better half of her formative years with a reincarnator, some spillover was to be expected.

 

[Ayashi]

"Is there something haunting you?"

I keep quiet, unsure of what to do. Should I bother her with my problems again?

She just remains there, not even looking at me. Hands on her own cup and eyes on the skyline.

"Yes." I finally relent. "But I doubt you can help me with this one, unless you know a way for me to avoid the Exams but still be there to watch."

She arches a brow, and I explain my problem the best I can, that is to say, very poorly. She catches the important parts anyway. Mother is cool like that. "Can I assume there's an important reason to set those conditions?" Is her only question.

"I'd say it is of vital importance." Heh, literally so.

"Get a field promotion before then and get there as a spectator."

"Can I—?" I can't believe it's so easy. Is it really so easy? "I mean, is that a thing that can be done?"

"Getting a field promotion is tricky business during peace times, but there are loopholes." Of course there are loopholes, this is the shinobi world. Damn, can't believe it's so simple, I have been going the wrong way about it from the start! "It can be arranged."

I could've kissed her. But she probably would've kicked my ass for it. So I smothered her in the most intense hug I've ever initiated. She kicked my ass for it anyway, but did so with a smile on her lips. Maybe our family was a bit dysfunctional, but we made do.

"You'll have to clear it with the higher ups yourself, though." Well… crud.

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I notice that protag suddenly forgot about Karin here. I Orochi's disguise team isn't going what are the chances he'll use the other team Kusa is sending instead? Pretty damn high if i say so myself...

 

[Sceptic]

I notice that protag suddenly forgot about Karin here. I Orochi's disguise team isn't going what are the chances he'll use the other team Kusa is sending instead? Pretty damn high if i say so myself...

Click to shrink...

They'll probably just go without her carrying them. What she does seem to have forgotten is that she won't have access to the Forest of Death while Orochimaru is in there with Karin.

 

[Planeshunter]

I notice that protag suddenly forgot about Karin here. I Orochi's disguise team isn't going what are the chances he'll use the other team Kusa is sending instead? Pretty damn high if i say so myself...

Click to shrink...

They'll probably just go without her carrying them. What she does seem to have forgotten is that she won't have access to the Forest of Death while Orochimaru is in there with Karin.

Click to shrink...

Next chapter should clear up the first point.

About the second... Ran might've been obsessing a bit too much about the bears instead. I don't think she has a reason to believe she's managed to get butterflies into the exams anyway -beyond a bear-punching Karin- and things went good enough in canon.

 

[Planeshunter]

Spoiler: A/N

Shorter than usual, and I'm not really happy with how it flows but… *shrugs helplessly* That's how things worked out this time. This 'not having time' business is killing me

---

030 - On gaming the system and sweet, sweet revenge.​

---

"I have what it takes. you know this, I know this. Now I want to step up and flaunt it." I claim, hitting the Boss Dude's desk with my palm for emphasis. "Why are you even questioning it? I thought you'd jump at the chance."

After Mother so kindly kicked my ass for daring to show physical affection to her, I decided time was the essence and rushed to the Boss Dude's Office. Hoping to find him still there and willing to receive me. He was, he even had a desk suspiciously clean of paperwork. I think he was slacking off.

Now, I could've gone about convincing the Boss Dude with real arguments, like how Konoha has always been big on teamplay, and just shoving me into an already existing team dynamic with barely a couple of months to figure out my place wasn't going to cut it, but I didn't.

I am not deaf, you know? I hear what people say about me when they think I'm not paying attention. Nobody expects me to be reasonable, so trying to be so will only arouse suspicion. That and, unfortunately, reasonable arguments can be countered with reason. Loathe as I am to admit it, Boss Dude is way better at that than me.

"I question it because you're already slated for a team for the next exams, field promotions are a rare exception during peacetime and they involve much paperwork." He grumbles. "That, and you came to pester me with a complicated matter when I was just about to clock out after a long and frustrating day."

I guess that would explain why his desk was clean. Oops?

"So" He continues, cradling his chin with crossed hands in a fairly decent Gendo Ikari impersonation. "Why should I go through the bother? Are you that afraid of some healthy competition you have to resort to this?"

"Karin will be there" Yes, I am very much afraid. That exam will be full of monsters. But it doesn't matter because Orochimaru will kill me and take my face before I can even try. But of course I can't say anything along those lines. "If we have to fight I'm forfeiting"

Boss Dude reclines forward, suddenly looking kind of constipated. "Are you blackmailing me?"

"Just stating a fact, Boss." I correct him. "I'm not fighting Karin, and that's final. That's why I wanted a field promotion in the first place."

"Haaa…. Very well, I'll arrange it." That leaves me blinking dumbly because… what the hell?

"Just like that?" I blurt out in confusion. "You aren't going to hand around threats? To force more concessions or promises out of me?"

"It's not 'just like that'." He replies with exasperation, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Those are good loyal shinobi in that team you're abandoning, and they really could've used you as a booster. Now I'll have to send them with a subpar third member who isn't even close to being ready."

Welp, now I feel a bit guilty. Team Deader Meat was kinda nice to me. If they weren't so dead I might even rethink my position.

"But your mother and I have a deal." Boss continues after a dramatic pause. "She doesn't interfere in village business and I don't interfere in your growth. As much as I would've preferred it if you took the test with your team, this option has always been open to you."

Wait, so Mother had already cleared it up beforehand? And before I even enrolled in the Academy, apparently. Looks like there never was a need for me to argue my point here in the first place.

Does this count as owing even more to Mother? On the one hand, that's a big solid she's done to me. In the other, it cost her literally nothing. Anyone who knows her knows she doesn't care about 'village business' in the first place. Heck she probably uses that excuse to get out of things she doesn't want to do, everything is 'village business' if you squint and look at it sideways.

This whole 'you have to clear it up with the higher ups' thing seems to have ended up being just a prank. Which means I've just been pranked by Mother.

So, feeling slightly confused about the whole thing, I leave Boss Dude's office. He's been almost… nice about the whole thing. And I'm pretty sure he was even half-honest with it. Which actually makes me kind of paranoid, he's never this nice to me.

Or… it might never matter. There's no point in agonizing over maybes, I'll just shelve it for now.

---

The following morning, I'm summoned again to the Boss Dude's office to be briefed on my new mission. When I leave an hour later I can only wonder at the expediency of the whole process. Mother must scare him more than he lets on. Which is fair, because Mother.

Field promotions can be justified by an outstanding performance during a mission. That is, going far beyond the expected duty of your rank and blatantly into the field of a higher one. Even then, they're granted sparingly, because if the system is abused too blatantly the point of the Chunin exams would disappear and we'd go back to war times faster than you can say kunai.

Makes me wonder why Naruto never got a field promotion with all the weird shit he pulled through. On the other hand, it also makes me wonder how the hell did Konoha justify promoting Neji straight to jounin. I guess there's more to consider than what's immediately obvious.

In any case, there are some missing-nin that have set shop in Kusa's territory and need to be taken care of. Only things aren't that easy -they never are- since the territory is officially under Kumo's protection and the only reason we can poach missions from there is cuz they can't be arsed to care about a remote area like that.

Also, our intelligence suggests those missing-nin might not actually be missing-nin, but loyal Iwa-nin sent to cause trouble. We can't really afford to antagonize Iwa, much less over territory that isn't technically ours, so I'll be accompanying two jounin for a false-flag extermination mission.

Only they'll be 'undisposed' and I'll have to 'adapt to the unexpected situation' and deal with the mission by myself.

In other words, I'll have to take down an undisclosed number of Iwa-nin that may or may not have defected their village in such a way all fingers point at Kumo. While two jounin watch from the shadows, evaluating my performance and presumably writing down every little mistake I make.

And yet, I leave the Boss Dude's office with a smile that threatens to split my face in half.

Why am I not annoyed, you ask? That's simple.

Those Iwa-nin I'll be paying a visit to are the ones who killed Karin's team.

This is going to be… cathartic.

 

[LurkingInTheDeceit]

and just soving me into an already existing team dynamic with barely a couple of months to figure out my place wasn't going to cut it, but I didn't.

Click to shrink...

shoving me into

Also, our intelligence suggests those missing-nin might not actually be missing-nin, but loyal Iwa-nin sent to cause trouble.

Click to shrink...

Those Iwa-nin I'll be paying a visit to are the ones who killed Karin's team.

Click to shrink...

Went suspiciously quickly from 'suggests' and 'might not actually be missing-nin' to 'are the ones who killed Karin's team'.

Thanks for the chapter.

 

[Planeshunter]

suspiciously quickly from 'suggests' and 'might not actually be missing-nin' to 'are the ones who killed Karin's team'.

Click to shrink...

She doesn't know who they are for sure, but she sure recognized the place they're using as their base of operations

shoving me into

Click to shrink...

Thanks for the heads-up, will fix asap

 

[Ayashi]

Those Iwa-nin I'll be paying a visit to are the ones who killed Karin's team.

Click to shrink...

wep... suck to be them.

 

[Inbetweenaction]

wep... suck to be them.

Click to shrink...

i don't know who they are. I don't know where they are from, nor what they there for. I only know that they are going to die, horribly.

sure, can suspect the other things, but meh. one dose of ultra violence coming up

 

[Grinningmadhatter1]

Kind of a dick move to fuck over the team like that. Imma waiting for that karmic wack as I think the mission is gonna go to shit and the promotion be denied.

Like a tough love moment from the Kage as a subtle 'we have teams for a reason, buck the fuck up'.

 

[Planeshunter]

Kind of a dick move to fuck over the team like that. Imma waiting for that karmic wack as I think the mission is gonna go to shit and the promotion be denied.

Like a tough love moment from the Kage as a subtle 'we have teams for a reason, buck the fuck up'.

Click to shrink...

You just gave me an evil, evil idea. Now to see if I can implement it without ruining the rest of the plan.

 

[LuridThrone]

Iwa go RIP hahaha.

 

[Grinningmadhatter1]

You just gave me an evil, evil idea. Now to see if I can implement it without ruining the rest of the plan.

Click to shrink...

Ahah sweet glad to be of sour use.

 

[guisniperman]

This story is simply awesome and I love the relationship between the Dragon and her cuddlebug. If Orochimaru think he'll get away with trying to kidnap Karin then he's a moron. Shimada-Chan know exactly where and when he'll be at his most vulnerable for quite a while.

 

[Planeshunter]

Spoiler: A/N

Surprise, I'm back!

This chapter was a bitch and a half to write. Which compounded everything else in my life into a muse-killing concoction. I had half resigned myself to shelving this story when… Well, I don't know what happened today, words just seemed to flow and fill all the holes and fix all the parts I didn't like.

Fucking Magic, I swear. Not that I'm complaining.

---

031 - About careless handling of unstable shinobi and horrible, horrible misunderstandings​

---

Well, we're finally here. This is the forest that traumatised Karin. Rather, the forest where the ninja who traumatised Karin have their hideout. I would just set it on fire and be done with it, but our target being suspected Iwa-nin means [Hiding like a Mole Jutsu] and other easy ways to no-sell a forest fires. That and they'll give me the stink eye if I commit to wholesale landscaping.

Madara does it, he's a legend, I suggest it, people call me crazy. Typical.

Oh, well, I've waited too long to be satisfied with something so impersonal anyway. It's been weeks since I was first assigned this mission. Turns out handling the logistics of an operation like this isn't as easy as the Boss Dude telling me what to do. Isn't that how military dictatorships are supposed to work? Damn paperwork, it ruins everything.

Anyway, besides the fact we took friggin' forever, the travel was nice and uneventful. The first night out they tried to patronise me with some bullshit about my test not starting until we reached the enemy, that I would've happily taken advantage of to skip my turn during guards and sleep full nights in normal circumstances, but I happen to be aware of shinobi examinations and their favorite tactics, so I assumed the test was already on and this was a trap.

It's not like this is my first mission, you know? One gets used to guard shifts quickly, and I've never slept all that much anyway.

I even make a point to wake up at every guard shift even if it's not my turn, just in case I see something funny happening. Like now, when instead of going straight to bed, Jounin #2 went outside and took a couple of hours to come back. Problem? People do that all the time. To have a cig, to take a wee, to get away from people for a while, to find a hooker… take your pick.

It doesn't mean shit, I'm tired and tomorrow's the day, so I make note of it and go back to sleep.

Back to the present, I'm still in front of a forest holding an indeterminate amount of enemy ninja, not the time to let the mind wander. Taking a deep breath to refocus myself, I sign my examinators teammates I'll be taking point and to follow me, warning them about being stealthy and keeping an eye for traps.

Yes, I know I'm the one being patronising now, but I'm supposed to act like a Chunin would with his squad, so that's what I'm doing. Nevermind the fact they have ten times my experience in the field. Assuming they're not undercover Kusa-Anbu. I honestly have no idea what the Boss Dude feeds those guys, but I haven't been able to catch sight of them yet.

As I get into the depths of the forest, I sink into a sort of methodic focus, letting training and instinct take control as I sweep for traps while remaining as hidden as possible. Those I find, I have to signal to my squad without disarming. Too high a risk our target will be warned if we fiddle with them.

It's stressful work, but relatively straightforward. I can safely assume there's no trap specialist here, probably nobody over chunin either. That or they're particularly devious and are letting me be lulled into a false sense of saf—

I suddenly stop, foot not an inch away from a thin strand of ninja wire. If not for my actually secret training, I would've missed it completely and lost a foot, or at least gotten a very nasty cut. Eyeing around, I see no other trap like this, and internally frown. Wire traps like this don't really fit Iwa's MO in general, nor what I've learnt of this group so far in particular.

What's more, there's only one wire, this one. It's rather telling that it was placed in such a way I almost tripped it. Perfect positioning, not for any infiltrating shinobi, because that's impossible to manage, but for an infiltrating Shimada Ran. This isn't a defensive trap against intruders, but a deliberate attack against me in particular.

There's no way these guys know enough about me to prepare this. I eye the strand again, noticing an irregular sheen indicating some sort of liquid subtly smeared on it. Thin enough to not form droplets, and a delicate artwork only found in the best Suna puppet master or in…

I'll bet galleons against your knuts that liquid is one of Kusa's special mixes. This is active sabotage against me. My blood runs cold at the feeling of betrayal.

Is this their own initiative or was it ordained? Does the Boss Dude want me to fail? Or has he finally decided I'm not worth the hassle and wants to wash his hands off me in a way that won't draw Mother's ire on him?

Thinking about it, how come I never considered the possibility of being 'silenced' by the Village? I certainly give them enough trouble, at some point my potential, or even catering to Mother has to stop being worth it. Focused as I was in other matters, I just never thought I'd reach that point, or at least that it would be so soon.

As I'm reflecting this, I spy my two 'examiners' exchanging a look in the corner of my eye, and my pulse quickens. Muscles tense when I see one of them [Flickers] at my side and blood roars in my ears as he tries to put a hand on my shoulder.

They say time slows to a crawl when you're tense enough, but it wasn't like that in my case. He touched me and, next thing I knew, I had put a kunai through his chest and my hands were covered in blood. Then time slowed to a crawl.

Fuck!

"Hey, are you alright?" The other one hurries to break cover and get to me, can't blame him, there are now bigger concerns than stealth.

I just stand in place, too shocked to form a coherent answer, and his expression softens slightly. With very slow, very deliberately non-threatening moves, he puts a hand on my shoulder. From the front.

"Look, this is obviously not your fault, the idiot should know better then to approach a tense shinobi from behind. Probably even did it on purpose to be a jerk.. He just subestimated your speed."

He's been the cool guy all the mission, the one who makes the fun jokes and doesn't rub my inexperience in my face. I might still not remember his name, but he sure was nicer than Mister Bleeding Heart down there in the ground, so I hesitantly put a hand around him. This isn't as comforting as I hoped, but I'll take it.

"No I'm not okay." I whisper, before taking a step back to break contact and let out a short laugh that's well within the territory of hysterics. "I just wanted to get promoted, reach the exam safely and cheer on Karin while making sure she met the family she has there in Konoha."

He tenses, and I realize I've said too much. I do my best to collect myself and retake control, but it's like a damn dam has broken. There's no stopping the words now.

"But you had to sabotage me, didn't you? Now the Boss Dude will force me to assist Team Deader Meat and we'll be Orochimaru'd on the way there and all will follow canon and Karin will be miserable for years till she dies to save Sarada and who the fuck calls her daughter Salad? Is this Dragon Ball? Is she a saiyan?"

I'm rambling. I'm running my mouth and saying things I really should be keeping quiet. Which takes us to the next business of the day.

"… And now I have to kill you too"

"Easy there, the only place you're going is an interrogation cell back in Kusa." I get on guard and he laughs. "You won't be catching me by surprise like that idiot. What makes you think you can take on a jounin?"

He goes through some hand seals I recognise as genjutsu. The movements are slow and deliberate. He clearly wants me to know what he's doing, probably to jump at me the second I try to dispel it. Still, I form the release seal and channel a pulse of chakra.

"Katsu!" Indeed he tries to rush me, but there's a wet sound, kind of like a watermelon bursting, as soon as I finish channeling, and his body falls to the ground sans a good piece of his torso. "What makes me think I can take you? Just the explosive tag I slipped on you when you touched me. Nothing else."

Three hours later I leave the forest, my late teammates sealed in scrolls and seven cooling Iwa-nin corpses left behind. Okay, maybe not cooling, because I set their camp on fire, but you get what I mean. And no, I made sure the fire wouldn't spread, I don't need to be caught causing forest fires on top of everything else.

I let out a sigh. It should've been an easy thing. Inside and out, and the broken corpses of my enemies as the only witness of our mission. Well, my mission. Which means there would've been two other witnesses, but they'd be on my side and I kinda needed their positive verdict to become a chunin, so yeah.

Case is, as capable as the Iwa-nin were to kill two fresh and naive genin and their probably bored out of his mind jounin in a surprise ambush, they turned out to be quite incompetent when they were the ones being anbushed. The only reason I took so long was because I have to seed the place with hints pointing at Kumo, without being so obvious it would look like someone was trying to frame Kumo. That takes a while

Really, had things gone as they should, it would've taken me longer to say my goodbyes back in the Village than actually executing them. And I only get along with what, four people? Knowing then what I know now, I could've fucking walked into their camp and slit their throats in their sleep. Or seeded the underground with explosive tags and send them back to Iwa in bite-sized chunks with a single boom.

Once tempers cooled down and I examined the facts, I realized my 'examiners' were most likely under orders to subtly sabotage me, so I would have to take the exam anyway. I overreacted big time there, and there's nothing I can do now about it save for the three D: Deny, deny, deny. The Iwa-nin got the drop on us, Mister Bleeding Heart took a kunai for me, Cool Guy got exploded with a strange jutsu from a bitch I swear was part of the Explosion Corps.

I pinky promise, Boss Dude, they were friggin' heroes! They saved my life! I wouldn't have been able to accomplish the mission without them, I'll remember their nam— nicknames forever!

...I would even feel guilty about everything if I wasn't fighting for my life here. Taking the exam with Team Deader Meat was death a sentence.

Oh, who am I kidding, I'm more pissed off about drawing the wrong conclusions than anything else.

Stupid Shimada blood.

 

[darknessfalls]

Mister Bleeding Heart took a kunai for me, Cool Guy got exploded with a strange jutsu from a bitch I swear was part of the Explosion Corps.

Click to shrink...

I feel so sorry for these guys. Like all they had to do was sabotage one prospective Chunin and they get murdered.

 

[Sceptic]

Hiding like a Mole Justu

Click to shrink...

Jutsu

Kusa-Ambu

Click to shrink...

Anbu

blood roas

Click to shrink...

roars

subestimaged

Click to shrink...

subestimated?

misserable

Click to shrink...

miserable

now i have to kill you too"

Click to shrink...

Capital I, trailing full stop.

I look forward to reading the fallout of this.

 

[EternitynChaos]

frankly considering her mother, they, and the Boss should have known better, oh well, nothing of value lost, looking forward to the MC burning Kusa to the ground in the future

 

[Organmonkey]

To be honest any amount of sabotage in the field could be lethal. Since they knew this could kill her I would rate murder the appropriate response.