SHINOBI: The RPG - Act 2 (Naruto/Fallout SI)

[kayfizzlejosh]

That's just it. The social anxiety that inspired Daisuke's characterization is gone. The chapter where he accepted what happened was when I got over it. Something deep inside me came loose and finally I let go of a lot of the crap I went through. When that happened, I'm sure you guys realize; Daisuke's characterization changed. He became different, unrecognizable, even. And you should know that it's because the part of me that was feeding his personality died. Or if you'd prefer, the oozing, open wound that my muse drank from healed. And thus, when I look back at act 1, who Daisuke was...I just see something that doesn't exist anymore. The only thing I see is my own stubbornness and pride, which is rich given that's basically his characterization. Since there's no emotional resonance beyond embarrassment, I only see the stories flaws, which I detailed above.

Click to shrink...

So, with that in mind, how are you going to write him now? I assume he's still going to have the same flaws as before, but if that part of you is dead, I feel like you might struggle to put yourself into his mindset.

 

[Seru]

Hello, everyone.

This is a difficult post for me to make. A hard update, but one I think many of you saw coming.

As I said in my previous update, I had shared some of my difficulties in writing and continuing to update SHINOBI: The RPG. I also felt as if I had to continue to work and write it because...well, the reason being that I needed closure. Still need closure and I feel like its a story that needs to be told. So it is with heavy heart that I must inform all of you that SHINOBI: The RPG - Act 2 will receive no more updates. I hope my reasoning will become clear as I tell you guys my thought process and then give you guys an announcement that will hopefully soften the edge...assuming it doesn't make it worse.

But before I get into that, let's talk about the fic itself.

What Worked.

When I first started writing SHINOBI: The RPG all those years ago, I went in with a few goals. The first being to use the game system to highlight the MC's flaws. I figured that by doing so, I'd take away from how stupidly OP most gamer fics made their protagonist. This is why there were almost no intelligence checks in the original draft of any story; I didn't want the game to tell Daisuke he was awesome. It was an announcer of how dumb Daisuke was to dump charisma at character creation, a constant reminder of how this one decision ruined his life for years. It was to make Daisuke believably obsessive on his goal of Almost Perfect, to make him so laser focused on solving his problem in this one way that he couldn't possibly fathom how it could go wrong; because he couldn't afford for it to be a terrible decision. Then, when I actually hit him with what was coming, it turned into one of the most cathartic scenes I had ever written. All that build-up finally had a pay-off worth the wait.

The second thing I did was, that by limiting the protagonist's power, I was able to keep up a slow and steady pace and keep gradually introducing threats that would continue to cause problems as he leveled up. By constantly forcing Daisuke to hit checks that he failed, he never ever truly felt overpowered. He was a minmaxer crippled by his lack of foresight, a bad RPG player slowed by his inability to truly plan ahead, an man who never grew up. This was the source of his problems. Not his dumpstat, which he constantly complained about, not the game which he always blamed, but his terrible personality.

The third thing is that I mined my own experiences as someone with Asberger's Syndrome for everything it had and then some. This is how Daisuke was so...compelling as a character. So sincere. Frankly, I turned my own suckiness as a person into a dynamic character that smacked around with every failure. I was able to turn my experiences on their head, examine them, understand why and how things happened the way they were and I was, ironically, able to grow up. When Daisuke finally accepted that he died, I was able to accept some of the crappy things that happened in my life...the ones that were really my fault and I didn't want to face it. I grew up.

What Didn't Work.

Alrighty, then. Let's start with some issues.

I didn't plan everything out correctly. I planned out the skills, I planned out his leveling curve, but I made one terrible decision that crippled the whole story; I allowed Daisuke to learn any jutsu available with enough skill points and let him get EXP for it. All of the problems that Act 2 suffers from come from the simple fact that I was trying to compensate and salvage the dumpster fire the story was turning out to be thanks to this one decision. This single thing made the foundation of the story rot, twisted the viability of my time-table (he was supposed to get Almost Perfect after Naruto's chunin exams) and caused my well of ideas to run dry.

Second was my stubbornness in regards to this one plot detail. Let's take that scene for Almost Perfect above; I did everything I could to shut down every single solution people had to offer for him to solve the charisma problem before he got the perk. I didn't want the scene where Daisuke finally realized what a terrible person he was to be compromised. Items that increased charisma? Outlawed by the Hokage. Better henge? No. Planning out how social interactions are supposed to work? Absolutely not! I wanted to write this awesome scene and as a result of my attempts to preserve it, I twisted it into a blight on act 1.

The third...I should've let the story end. Way back when I was first writing the story, we came to chapter 44; the Vault. I said I was going on a long hiatus, and then people started sending me PM's about how this was goodbye since most stories didn't come back from such a long hiatus. I panicked. I didn't want to lose my audience. Let's be honest, I knew the charisma deprived Daisuke was what was pulling people in. They were enchanted by this eldritch abomination that learned how to care for his friends and became was incapable of really showing them. So I couldn't let Daisuke's problem be solved. So I...cut my hiatus short and then tried to rush things. What I should've done is let the story end on that chapter and not come back to it in a very long time.

Fifth, let's talk about the characters. Honestly, as good an idea as Daisuke and Anko is...I could've done better about their set up. It being so sudden, wreaking of unfortunate implications, then including the harem (a topic I do want to cover) and all it's crap. Hisako's mental illness and abandonment complex compromising her integrity as a character, Ino...being the only sane woman. Katsuki, a character I've been looking forward to introducing into the fic for a while was botched by her awe of Daisuke's power level. Jashin and Shinigami are awesome additions, but them just showing up out of nowhere kind of threw things for a loop and the payoff of what they're trying to do is taking too long for me. I'm bored of writing it, so I can't imagine you're all bored of reading.

Act 2's payoff is taking a long time, and I don't have the ideas present to actually make the wait bearable and I'm afraid it won't be worth it.

Sixth...I outgrew the story.

That's just it. The social anxiety that inspired Daisuke's characterization is gone. The chapter where he accepted what happened was when I got over it. Something deep inside me came loose and finally I let go of a lot of the crap I went through. When that happened, I'm sure you guys realize; Daisuke's characterization changed. He became different, unrecognizable, even. And you should know that it's because the part of me that was feeding his personality died. Or if you'd prefer, the oozing, open wound that my muse drank from healed. And thus, when I look back at act 1, who Daisuke was...I just see something that doesn't exist anymore. The only thing I see is my own stubbornness and pride, which is rich given that's basically his characterization. Since there's no emotional resonance beyond embarrassment, I only see the stories flaws, which I detailed above.

So I'm sorry. This story, as it stands, is dead.

However!

That doesn't mean that I don't still feel like I need to finish it. Because I do feel like I need to finish it, but frankly, I ain't doing it on this draft. The whole thing is rotten to the core and I want to reach into the past and strangle myself for failing to plan as I did.

So...

I started a rewrite.

A rewrite from Act 1 onward. I expect that, since is going to be the third rewrite, most of you will be doubting whether the story will ever actually be finished. I want too; but if I'm ever going to finish this story...it's got to be one with a better foundation. One that isn't threatening to tear my story to pieces. I've got five chapters done and I was hoping to not post anything until I finished both the acts. But I will say that, since I know what was important the first time and the second time that it'll be easier to actually get to the meat of the story and cut out the stuff that never went anywhere.

If you guys are tired of all this crap, I don't blame you in the slightest. I expect to lose some of you with this transition. But this story...is done. At least this draft is. But no matter what, if you guys want to drop everything I ever wrote right now or if you're sticking with me to the end, just know that I appreciate all that you guys have done for me. All the conversations, all the feedback, good, bad and ugly. Your readership means the world to me and I love you guys. I hope you're being safe in these trying times and that, if I can help make things easier for you guys, I will.

Until the next time.

~Fulcon

Click to shrink...

Rewrite has been Watched with OP notifications, and I will still use this as the benchmark of a good Gamer Fic.

Thank you for being why I got back into writing at all, and may your muse be forever your ally.

 

[Warer]

In a way this is the most beautiful ending possible.

 

[MMMm]

I disagree that Daisuke was a bad person. He was someone with a disability who was never intentionally vicious or cruel. Despite having incredible power, he didn't use it to abuse anyone. He lives in a world of monsters and was a better person than most of the people in his village.

He can't really control if people get hurt by his callousness. Life is pain and you'll constantly injure other people regardless of what you do. I never got why people kept getting upset at someone that can't learn why people are mad and is incapable of learning. It's like berating a one-handed man for not being able to knit properly.

Primarily, it made me hate his friends. I still think his teammates are both completely worthless and he shouldn't care about them. They served very little purpose in the story besides causing the main character pain.

I think if you had wanted him to come off as being a jerk, it would be better if he did it intentionally. Like he was incapable of seeing others as anything but NPCs and he treated people poorly unless they had quests for him or he needed them for something. Once he knew he could gain EXP from creating jutsu and killing people, he technically didn't need the Leaf village anymore. Or anyone, really. And what does his little group of friends really matter if they won't give him what he wants? He could have easily found other people elsewhere who would drool over him for the money or power he could offer them.

There weren't really any elements of objectification or negative intent in him.

But the general premise of the story was somewhat flawed because people will tolerate assholes if they're useful or powerful.

Michael Winters from Pyroclasm is a better version of Daisuke though. He's my favorite protagonist of any stories you've written. You nailed the isolated loner thing there.

I was also invested in Daisuke eventually gaining emotions and didn't really care that he got a new personality. His original personality was just his disability. It wasn't a big deal in my books.


My main consideration with any Gamer story is that you need to add more obstacles on his path to prevent him from easily acquiring power and power leveling past all of his enemies. Especially if he can do stuff like giving himself elemental kekkei genkai. You quickly reach the point where none of the canon enemies could challenge him, which is probably why you included the Gods.

It's a point I didn't like much, Jashin or the other guy being around. Daisuke had no reason to stick around in a world where he knew there was an evil god who intended to screw over all of his progress in trying to make the world a better place. Why not just take all the people and go somewhere else that Jashin can't follow? What other option does he have besides killing Jashin, something he was incapable of doing?

I couldn't see how he expected to win this without waging war against Jashin indirectly for thousands of years. What's the point of any of this? Who cares about the Naruto universe? He claims that it's his new world now, but was it really? At the time his close friends could be counted on one hand and his village hated him. I never got his logic.

Either way, you had a very worth reading story. It was better than most other gamer fics. I'll read the rewrite.

 

[SALADBAR]

So I'm sorry. This story, as it stands, is dead.

However!

That doesn't mean that I don't still feel like I need to finish it. Because I do feel like I need to finish it, but frankly, I ain't doing it on this draft. The whole thing is rotten to the core and I want to reach into the past and strangle myself for failing to plan as I did.

So...

I started a rewrite.
~Fulcon

Click to shrink...

Yuh-fucking-YEEEEEEEEET!

I'm really excited by this new rewrite, most stories that I follow that is being rewritten is dead, so this is very ducking welcome as I need some entertainment in this quarantine.

 

[Demon Lord Diablo]

Aight, so I'm in a pickle now. I'm reading act 1 on fine and I just finished chapter 44, so far everything was great, But now I see your AN, where you actively discourage us to read more. and while I'm super-impatient for the rewrite, I just want to know what others think, so I don't needlessly spoil stuff for myself. Should I red the remaining chapters till chapter 70? and do I need to read the rest so I can understand ACT 2 (i.e. this thread).

thanks to anyone who helps me out, I guess?

 

[Seru]

Aight, so I'm in a pickle now. I'm reading act 1 on fine and I just finished chapter 44, so far everything was great, But now I see your AN, where you actively discourage us to read more. and while I'm super-impatient for the rewrite, I just want to know what others think, so I don't needlessly spoil stuff for myself. Should I red the remaining chapters till chapter 70? and do I need to read the rest so I can understand ACT 2 (i.e. this thread).

thanks to anyone who helps me out, I guess?

Click to shrink...

I think if nothing else, it is certainly a deeply enjoyable read. Go into it with your eyes open, and be ready for things to get weird, and have fun.

 

[Demon Lord Diablo]

I think if nothing else, it is certainly a deeply enjoyable read. Go into it with your eyes open, and be ready for things to get weird, and have fun.

Click to shrink...

yeah, I couldn't help but be curious, and while I did enjoy it, I could see what Fulcon meant by it being rushed, since many segues were random, and the skipping took away from a lot of the fic. the tone for the rest of the story changed significantly, it basically just changed to angst after he he hit level 30.
Still, it was, as you mentioned, a deeply enjoyable read, and was definitely fun, and if I've been able to get into fandoms like Harry Potter, despite a plethora of bad writing, skipping over a few segues is still much better than most. honestly though, the latter parts started getting too whimsical, but to be frank, I didn't actually disagree with anything Daisuke did. all of his actions seemed perfectly reasonable, up until the end of ACT 1. haven't read this thread yet, I'm planning on doing so now.
One thing I did like about Fulcon's writing style, though, is that his conversations seem natural, instead of forced, which is a part where most people get stuck on, and he still manages to show how exactly being antisocial could affect conversations, without making it seem random. I hope the rewrite takes it's time and comes out even better than the first

 

[Seru]

yeah, I couldn't help but be curious, and while I did enjoy it, I could see what Fulcon meant by it being rushed, since many segues were random, and the skipping took away from a lot of the fic. the tone for the rest of the story changed significantly, it basically just changed to angst after he he hit level 30.
Still, it was, as you mentioned, a deeply enjoyable read, and was definitely fun, and if I've been able to get into fandoms like Harry Potter, despite a plethora of bad writing, skipping over a few segues is still much better than most. honestly though, the latter parts started getting too whimsical, but to be frank, I didn't actually disagree with anything Daisuke did. all of his actions seemed perfectly reasonable, up until the end of ACT 1. haven't read this thread yet, I'm planning on doing so now.
One thing I did like about Fulcon's writing style, though, is that his conversations seem natural, instead of forced, which is a part where most people get stuck on, and he still manages to show how exactly being antisocial could affect conversations, without making it seem random. I hope the rewrite takes it's time and comes out even better than the first

Click to shrink...

For what has been written so far, it most certainly has come out so.

 

[Fulcon]

So, I wanted to put this here, hopefully to put some stuff in context and get my thoughts out in a place where people can see it.

I owe the readers of SHINOBI: The RPG an apology. Why? Mostly to clear my conscience and to finally put this authorial misadventure to rest. At least, I hope.

So, here we go.

I, Fulcon, apologize for ruining the story and allowing my negative feelings toward fanfiction, Naruto itself and toward some of you to taint my worldview and sully a story you all enjoyed so much. For the sake of authenticity and transparency, I'm going to go through how I ruined the story, my thought process and the consequences therein. There'll be explanations, but those are there to provide context for my failure and not to excuse anything because, at the end of the day, injury was done and that's all that matters.

#1: Patreon.

So to be frank, at the height of Shinobi's popularity, I rushed through things in a vain attempt to turn the audience of a fanfiction into paying customers. Paying...for what exactly? Attaching their name to my project. No advance readings, no special attention from Fulcon or behind the scenes stuff. Just a spot in the credits. Why did I do this? Because I didn't want to slow or halt my imagined career as a writer to go get a job. A job which I would undoubtedly quit within six months due to my own insecurities and how hard it is for me to deal with the jobs I got - dealing with customers, even most friendly and benign ones, drained my soul. Working in the service industry has been and still is a nightmare scenario for me.

The thing is? People in my position still get jobs in these industries or find work in a place where the environment suits their degree of introversion. I was, and am, weak. I still don't have a job and all attempts at trying to write a new story even to publish failed.

#2: Underage Harem.

...yeah. This is just awful on all accounts. No matter how you look at it, this was a horrible decision. This was a bad way to take the story and I apologize from the bottom of my soul.

I hope you'll indulge me in hearing my excuse and how this sort of thing got introduced in the first place.

After the blow-back on Shinobi after I tried to ham-fist a Patreon into SHINOBI, I got, well, bitter. Especially as the story started to fail and people grew more critical of every decision that I made. I grew hateful and resentful of the story, any of its readers that took issue with how things were going got added to the pile and I then turned my hate and resentment to Naruto itself. To this day, I can't even look at a Naruto meme without getting ill. So...I wanted to destroy the franchise. Or at least, destroy it for some people whose ear I had. How would I do so? Well, Naruto was based on the Warring States period. During that time, there was a lot of things that, today, we would consider degenerate and evil.

You know Zabuza and Haku? There is an above 50% chance that they were sodomizing each other. Well, actually, Zabuza was sodomizing Haku. I don't remember what a pairing like that is called, but it was a thing in that time period and it grosses me out (was Zabuza a groomer?). Given the obsession everyone had with Kekkei Genkai, it also seemed logical to me that people with special bloodlines would get harems for the express purpose of spreading that bloodline. However, the powerful have this way of getting whatever the heck they want and Daisuke was a god. A god who had abandoned his identity as someone from our world and went fully native as he understood it. Which meant, yeah, inducting underage girls into a harem.

God, typing that feels disgusting.

However, a lot of my historical justification and perspective comes from ancient Israel. In the old testament, King David had over five hundred wives. Job, a man called Perfect by God Himself, had seven wives to start and was awarded seven wives by God after his ordeal (EDIT: This is Incorrect, should've paid more attention to my sources). Oh, and at the time of the Roman's, they arranged marriages between girls who were thirteen or fourteen to men who were in their thirties. The girls were that young to facilitate as many children as possible due to childbirth complications being common (as I understand it) and thirty was when men were actually trained and able to have a career to provide for their wife.

...this means that the Virgin Mary was 13-14 when she was pregnant with Jesus and God Himself had no issue with that, which raises questions on how many morals are absolute and how many of them are simply cultural norms (but that is a topic for a later date). Or perhaps God is evil? Is religion just 'us verses them' on a spiritual level? Sorry, I'll stop now.

Now you'll notice that all of this is the wrong country and the wrong time period. I was literally transposing one cultures values and norms to another based on judgements I made on my limited perspective of warring states. I know Polygamy was a thing and I know that marrying age is 13 in Japan to this day (depending on the province) but I was making a lot of assumptions that may, or may not be accurate and I was doing it to air my negative feelings about the franchise and my own sexual frustration.

(I hate myself right now).

I got flak for taking the fic in this direction and I took it badly, thinking that moving to QQ was enough to insulate myself from criticism because, well, look where we are. I don't really go to the NSFW section of the site, but that section is the whole reason this site exists. But it followed me because they didn't want to see the fic go down this road. And...I'll be honest, I agree with the critique. That's why it stung so bad ('Don't you understand? That's the point!') They got mad and rightfully so! I was doing it on purpose to destroy the franchise.

#3: Godhood and Marriage.

The only things I regret was not clarifying that Daisuke used a non-murderous Impure World Reincarnation to 'ascend' to godhood. Also, that his 'godhood' wasn't in the vein of God the Father and Jesus Christ (or Buddha or any other Monotheistic religion), it was in the vein of Zeus, Thor and Raiden. Of course, him going to create a world did not help that at all.

Also, I wish Daisuke and Anko's marriage wasn't framed so heavily in 'he did something great for her, now he owns her soul'. I had a lot of misconceptions about relationships and marriage, in spite of how much research I had done. Most of these being the misconceptions born from my parents dysfunctional marriage (Dad is a narcissist. Not clinically diagnosed, but he exhibits most of the symptoms) which is not a fun thing to read or recall writing. I apologize for this failure and will strive to do better in the future.

#4: Naruto vs. Daisuke.

I wanted Daisuke to assume Sasuke's role in canon. I thought it'd be a fun ideological conflict to have Daisuke and Naruto clash. Instead of it being a mission for revenge (actually, wait, that's a lot of what it was) it was a moral change. I wanted Naruto to be the main POV character of Act 2, Daisuke and he would fight a lot and both Naruto and Daisuke convince each other on some things and are able to come to a compromise as they work, together, as friends with Konoha, to bring the world to a brighter future.

But that just wasn't going to work. Daisuke would fold the second Naruto opened his mouth. Naruto couldn't fight Daisuke no matter how hard he tried. Daisuke could literally just stand there and go 'are you done? Are you done? How about now?'. Act 2 needed a much stronger division between Daisuke and Naruto in order to work because Naruto literally brings about world peace and Daisuke believes in his ability to do so. Act 2, as I imagined it, would not work no matter how hard I tried to force it. And try to force it, I did. No matter how hard it wouldn't work, I was going to have Naruto and Daisuke fight.

Which included having Naruto turn evil. I'm still convinced that could've worked, but I don't think anyone actually wanted to read it. In fact, people were pretty hostile to the idea, leaving the fic entirely over the conversation between Naruto and Jashin. Which means it wouldn't have worked because what is an entertainer without his audience? So I apologize for trying to force a character arc that was completely out of place and trying to include themes that, while potentially realistic or plausible, clashed with the story and source material itself (Sasuke never got a harem and you know how valuable the Sharingan was). It was wrong, and I will strive to not repeat my mistake in the future.

---

...so there it is. Typing this out, I feel a lot of relief and that, maybe, I might be able to move on. I mostly continued the story because I liked having hundreds of people follow my work and felt like I could bring it back if I continued my work. That was the worst possible mindset to have and I am really, really sorry I took so many of you for granted. I continued well past burnout just to stay relevant and then, to try to regain my status. But it's not really me you guys care about, it's the story. After all, very few people care about J. K. Rowling herself, we just love Harry Potter. So I apologize for my ego, my poor decisions and my personal weakness. I'm sorry for taking a story you loved and twisting it into something that didn't match why you fell in love with the story and ignored your feedback.

(Some of you I ignored because you were unpleasant but 99% of you? Yeah, I should've listened).

If I could go back in time, I would give myself one piece of advice.

"Ignore the people telling you to write what you want to write. Instead, focus on writing what you want to read."

 

[Katorishi]

huh well best to you happy life

 

[Fulcon]

huh well best to you happy life

Click to shrink...

Given how 'at peace' I feel after having written this, I'd say things will be better now. Thank you.

Have a cookie.

 

[theonebutcher]

Eh, this is qq.

Look, we love those characters. Really we do and the fact that they are underage... we mostly ignore that bit. Don't feel bad about the underage harem bit, don't try to justify it. If you justify yourself you're telling the trolls that you did something wrong and that's like bleeding into a shark tank.

You haven't hurt any children and Daisuke doesn't need to be wholly moral.

Daisuke might have been an SI, I.E. older than them, but from his characterization he reads just as mature as them. He's not a creepy old man.

On the patreon bit: As long as you tell people that there will be no advance chapters and maybe refund the money when you skip too many updates or slow down in your writing you're in the yellow.

 

[The Unaligned Player]

"Ignore the people telling you to write what you want to write. Instead, focus on writing what you want to read."

Click to shrink...

Why I only write every few months at best. Happy that you've found a bit of tranquility mate.

 

[Fulcon]

Eh, this is qq.

Look, we love those characters. Really we do and the fact that they are underage... we mostly ignore that bit. Don't feel bad about the underage harem bit, don't try to justify it. If you justify yourself you're telling the trolls that you did something wrong and that's like bleeding into a shark tank.

You haven't hurt any children and Daisuke doesn't need to be wholly moral.

Daisuke might have been an SI, I.E. older than them, but from his characterization he reads just as mature as them. He's not a creepy old man.

On the patreon bit: As long as you tell people that there will be no advance chapters and maybe refund the money when you skip too many updates or slow down in your writing you're in the yellow.

Click to shrink...

I appreciate your advice. Thank you, I will consider what you have said.

Have a cookie.

Why I only write every few months at best. Happy that you've found a bit of tranquility mate.

Click to shrink...

Thank you, have a cookie.

 

[theonebutcher]

Have a cookie.

Click to shrink...

Why does everyone everywhere want to sabotage my diet? WHY?

 

[Fulcon]

Why does everyone everywhere want to sabotage my diet? WHY?

Click to shrink...

Put it in the fridge/stasis chamber/whatever and save it for a cheat day! I promise it'll keep.

 

[MasterMarx]

I'm glad you're in a better mental space in regards to the fic's postmortem. Hindsight's kicking in hard tbh- I'd like to offer a rather belated apology for any part I had in the negative feelings.

 

[Fulcon]

I'm glad you're in a better mental space in regards to the fic's postmortem. Hindsight's kicking in hard tbh- I'd like to offer a rather belated apology for any part I had in the negative feelings.

Click to shrink...

Thank you. I don't recall you being a part of that, but your apology is accepted and appreciated in any case.

 

[Reader_as_a_Hobby]

Technically speaking, most Buddhism is atheistic. Not including the blends like Hindu Buddhism. Buddha is just the name of those who have achieved enlightenment, though the person we usually think of when we say Buddha is someone who attained that enlightened and also went about teaching of that journey and how one might also achieve it themselves.

But yeah, glad you feel like your in a better headspace and that this confession might have eased any shadows following you from it.

 

[Chara Dreemurr]

"Ignore the people telling you to write what you want to write. Instead, focus on writing what you want to read."

Click to shrink...

You did some good writing. I had my enjoyment with it even if I kind of stopped reading when the pace slowed down and the story seemed to focus less on Naruto(the manga/anime not the character).

I'd like to see you take another crack at writing, it isn't like even more famous people on here like Dark Wolf Shiro hasn't run into mistakes and felt the need to hit the big red reset button. If you don't want to take another crack at this story, it would make a good learning experience for any future stories.

At the end of the day, writing a story isn't easy. Writing in general is but I doubt anyone wants to see my poor attempts at smutty fanfiction. You caught my interest towards the start with a good concept, OP Gamer Ninja in Naruto, even gave your character some character flaws to humanise them. But pacing issues and regrettable story beats lead to reaching here, you acknowledged this so I don't see a reason you can't improve from this.

If you make another story or reset this one, I'll be there to read it at least. If not, I wish you luck with whatever you chose to do.

 

[Fulcon]

Technically speaking, most Buddhism is atheistic. Not including the blends like Hindu Buddhism. Buddha is just the name of those who have achieved enlightenment, though the person we usually think of when we say Buddha is someone who attained that enlightened and also went about teaching of that journey and how one might also achieve it themselves.

Click to shrink...

I appreciate the clarification. Always good to learn new things.

But yeah, glad you feel like your in a better headspace and that this confession might have eased any shadows following you from it.

Click to shrink...

Me too. Thanks for the kind words!

I had my enjoyment with it even if I kind of stopped reading when the pace slowed down and the story seemed to focus less on Naruto(the manga/anime not the character).

Click to shrink...

I mean, yeah. It's supposed to be a Naruto fanfic. Shouldn't the focus be on Naruto?

I'd like to see you take another crack at writing, it isn't like even more famous people on here like Dark Wolf Shiro hasn't run into mistakes and felt the need to hit the big red reset button.

Click to shrink...

Maybe one day. I managed to recover the entire first draft of this story, plus half of the re-write so it's not out of the question.

If you make another story or reset this one, I'll be there to read it at least. If not, I wish you luck with whatever you chose to do.

Click to shrink...

Right now, I'm trying to learn how to draw. It's been a long time since a new discipline has excited me like art has. Maybe it'll turn into something, who knows?

 

[JerkRyanShadowWanker]

Huh, been awhile and with how everything was effecting you before I thought you wouldn't be back. It's good that you're feeling better and this whole thing has helped you.

I hope you start writing something you enjoy cause I did enjoy what you wrote and it goes better than before.

 

[Fulcon]

Huh, been awhile and with how everything was effecting you before I thought you wouldn't be back. It's good that you're feeling better and this whole thing has helped you.

Click to shrink...

I did need some time away, most of which was spent trying to swallow my pride and learn some stuff.

I hope you start writing something you enjoy cause I did enjoy what you wrote and it goes better than before.

Click to shrink...

I hope I can write something new eventually. But I'm going to take my time, in any case.

 

[Seru]

So, I wanted to put this here, hopefully to put some stuff in context and get my thoughts out in a place where people can see it.

I owe the readers of SHINOBI: The RPG an apology. Why? Mostly to clear my conscience and to finally put this authorial misadventure to rest. At least, I hope.

So, here we go.

I, Fulcon, apologize for ruining the story and allowing my negative feelings toward fanfiction, Naruto itself and toward some of you to taint my worldview and sully a story you all enjoyed so much. For the sake of authenticity and transparency, I'm going to go through how I ruined the story, my thought process and the consequences therein. There'll be explanations, but those are there to provide context for my failure and not to excuse anything because, at the end of the day, injury was done and that's all that matters.

#1: Patreon.

So to be frank, at the height of Shinobi's popularity, I rushed through things in a vain attempt to turn the audience of a fanfiction into paying customers. Paying...for what exactly? Attaching their name to my project. No advance readings, no special attention from Fulcon or behind the scenes stuff. Just a spot in the credits. Why did I do this? Because I didn't want to slow or halt my imagined career as a writer to go get a job. A job which I would undoubtedly quit within six months due to my own insecurities and how hard it is for me to deal with the jobs I got - dealing with customers, even most friendly and benign ones, drained my soul. Working in the service industry has been and still is a nightmare scenario for me.

The thing is? People in my position still get jobs in these industries or find work in a place where the environment suits their degree of introversion. I was, and am, weak. I still don't have a job and all attempts at trying to write a new story even to publish failed.

#2: Underage Harem.

...yeah. This is just awful on all accounts. No matter how you look at it, this was a horrible decision. This was a bad way to take the story and I apologize from the bottom of my soul.

I hope you'll indulge me in hearing my excuse and how this sort of thing got introduced in the first place.

After the blow-back on Shinobi after I tried to ham-fist a Patreon into SHINOBI, I got, well, bitter. Especially as the story started to fail and people grew more critical of every decision that I made. I grew hateful and resentful of the story, any of its readers that took issue with how things were going got added to the pile and I then turned my hate and resentment to Naruto itself. To this day, I can't even look at a Naruto meme without getting ill. So...I wanted to destroy the franchise. Or at least, destroy it for some people whose ear I had. How would I do so? Well, Naruto was based on the Warring States period. During that time, there was a lot of things that, today, we would consider degenerate and evil.

You know Zabuza and Haku? There is an above 50% chance that they were sodomizing each other. Well, actually, Zabuza was sodomizing Haku. I don't remember what a pairing like that is called, but it was a thing in that time period and it grosses me out (was Zabuza a groomer?). Given the obsession everyone had with Kekkei Genkai, it also seemed logical to me that people with special bloodlines would get harems for the express purpose of spreading that bloodline. However, the powerful have this way of getting whatever the heck they want and Daisuke was a god. A god who had abandoned his identity as someone from our world and went fully native as he understood it. Which meant, yeah, inducting underage girls into a harem.

God, typing that feels disgusting.

However, a lot of my historical justification and perspective comes from ancient Israel. In the old testament, King David had over five hundred wives. Job, a man called Perfect by God Himself, had seven wives to start and was awarded seven wives by God after his ordeal. Oh, and at the time of the Roman's, they arranged marriages between girls who were thirteen or fourteen to men who were in their thirties. The girls were that young to facilitate as many children as possible due to childbirth complications being common (as I understand it) and thirty was when men were actually trained and able to have a career to provide for their wife.

...this means that the Virgin Mary was 13-14 when she was pregnant with Jesus and God Himself had no issue with that, which raises questions on how many morals are absolute and how many of them are simply cultural norms (but that is a topic for a later date). Or perhaps God is evil? Is religion just 'us verses them' on a spiritual level? Sorry, I'll stop now.

Now you'll notice that all of this is the wrong country and the wrong time period. I was literally transposing one cultures values and norms to another based on judgements I made on my limited perspective of warring states. I know Polygamy was a thing and I know that marrying age is 13 in Japan to this day (depending on the province) but I was making a lot of assumptions that may, or may not be accurate and I was doing it to air my negative feelings about the franchise and my own sexual frustration.

(I hate myself right now).

I got flak for taking the fic in this direction and I took it badly, thinking that moving to QQ was enough to insulate myself from criticism because, well, look where we are. I don't really go to the NSFW section of the site, but that section is the whole reason this site exists. But it followed me because they didn't want to see the fic go down this road. And...I'll be honest, I agree with the critique. That's why it stung so bad ('Don't you understand? That's the point!') They got mad and rightfully so! I was doing it on purpose to destroy the franchise.

#3: Godhood and Marriage.

The only things I regret was not clarifying that Daisuke used a non-murderous Impure World Reincarnation to 'ascend' to godhood. Also, that his 'godhood' wasn't in the vein of God the Father and Jesus Christ (or Buddha or any other Monotheistic religion), it was in the vein of Zeus, Thor and Raiden. Of course, him going to create a world did not help that at all.

Also, I wish Daisuke and Anko's marriage wasn't framed so heavily in 'he did something great for her, now he owns her soul'. I had a lot of misconceptions about relationships and marriage, in spite of how much research I had done. Most of these being the misconceptions born from my parents dysfunctional marriage (Dad is a narcissist. Not clinically diagnosed, but he exhibits most of the symptoms) which is not a fun thing to read or recall writing. I apologize for this failure and will strive to do better in the future.

#4: Naruto vs. Daisuke.

I wanted Daisuke to assume Sasuke's role in canon. I thought it'd be a fun ideological conflict to have Daisuke and Naruto clash. Instead of it being a mission for revenge (actually, wait, that's a lot of what it was) it was a moral change. I wanted Naruto to be the main POV character of Act 2, Daisuke and he would fight a lot and both Naruto and Daisuke convince each other on some things and are able to come to a compromise as they work, together, as friends with Konoha, to bring the world to a brighter future.

But that just wasn't going to work. Daisuke would fold the second Naruto opened his mouth. Naruto couldn't fight Daisuke no matter how hard he tried. Daisuke could literally just stand there and go 'are you done? Are you done? How about now?'. Act 2 needed a much stronger division between Daisuke and Naruto in order to work because Naruto literally brings about world peace and Daisuke believes in his ability to do so. Act 2, as I imagined it, would not work no matter how hard I tried to force it. And try to force it, I did. No matter how hard it wouldn't work, I was going to have Naruto and Daisuke fight.

Which included having Naruto turn evil. I'm still convinced that could've worked, but I don't think anyone actually wanted to read it. In fact, people were pretty hostile to the idea, leaving the fic entirely over the conversation between Naruto and Jashin. Which means it wouldn't have worked because what is an entertainer without his audience? So I apologize for trying to force a character arc that was completely out of place and trying to include themes that, while potentially realistic or plausible, clashed with the story and source material itself (Sasuke never got a harem and you know how valuable the Sharingan was). It was wrong, and I will strive to not repeat my mistake in the future.

---

...so there it is. Typing this out, I feel a lot of relief and that, maybe, I might be able to move on. I mostly continued the story because I liked having hundreds of people follow my work and felt like I could bring it back if I continued my work. That was the worst possible mindset to have and I am really, really sorry I took so many of you for granted. I continued well past burnout just to stay relevant and then, to try to regain my status. But it's not really me you guys care about, it's the story. After all, very few people care about J. K. Rowling herself, we just love Harry Potter. So I apologize for my ego, my poor decisions and my personal weakness. I'm sorry for taking a story you loved and twisting it into something that didn't match why you fell in love with the story and ignored your feedback.

(Some of you I ignored because you were unpleasant but 99% of you? Yeah, I should've listened).

If I could go back in time, I would give myself one piece of advice.

"Ignore the people telling you to write what you want to write. Instead, focus on writing what you want to read."

Click to shrink...

Hello Brother, good to see you're doing well!

I credit your absence with why I commissioned someone to write my own Gamer SI in Naruto, and why I am writing it's sequel atm.

You remain an inspiration. Be well, and Go with His Grace.

 

[Fulcon]

You remain an inspiration. Be well, and Go with His Grace.

Click to shrink...

Thank you very, very much. Your words are a great kindness.

Have a cookie.

 

[Seru]

Thank you very, very much. Your words are a great kindness.

Have a cookie.

Click to shrink...

Diabetic, enjoy it as my thanks for the inspiration you granted.

 

[asdo]

Hope you feel better. Maybe you could just write a op powereank story in a setting so bad that you forcibly changing the world to your point of view would be seen as a good in in and out of the story?

Advice of the day: Go see your local old penguin sage if it lasts for more than 4 hours

 

[Fulcon]

Diabetic, enjoy it as my thanks for the inspiration you granted.

Click to shrink...

Well, that sucks, friend. I will enjoy this cookie on your behalf.

Hope you feel better. Maybe you could just write a op powereank story in a setting so bad that you forcibly changing the world to your point of view would be seen as a good in in and out of the story?

Click to shrink...

...Like Warhammer 40k?

The thought has occurred to me.

Advice of the day: Go see your local old penguin sage if it lasts for more than 4 hours

Click to shrink...

Have a cookie.

 

[Chrisleech]

The harem part wasn't actually that bad, although it is kinda weird how Anko is insistent on it and doesn't understand why he wouldn't want it, whereas the others are firmly against it. More of an issue is just how much he's stuck on his old world, and how it would definitely be better to copypaste that system into this world. And he even gets things continuously thrown in his face about how horrible his plan is, and he kinda sidesteps a bit but it honestly made me less interested in him succeeding.