Chapter 181: The Election Campaign Part 3
Starfox5
Experienced.
- Joined
- Feb 5, 2015
- Messages
- 3,939
- Likes received
- 29,644
Chapter 181: The Election Campaign Part 3
Deep Space, Ba'al's Realm, August 8th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"...and as the authorities confirmed that James Delan has succumbed to what has been identified as a magical curse, the recently confirmed presidential candidate of Mr Delan's party has called on everyone to pray for Mr Delan's family and to abstain from trying to weaponise the tragedy for political purposes. Darryl Miller, NBC."
"Thank you Darryl! Now, of course, a presidential candidate would say that when one of his most important supporters has been implicated in such a scandal. But it feels more than a bit hypocritical when his own party has been weaponising the magical attack on Mr Delan for their own goals practically from the point when he was loaded into an ambulance, wouldn't you agree?"
"I certainly would, Keith. I think we all remember how much certain circles tried to use this tragedy to get magic regulated in the US. In fact, Mr Delan's family is apparently considering a lawsuit because they claim if not for being influenced by the constant calls against magic, they would have consented to letting a sorceress treat Mr Delan since the doctors in charge of his treatment recommended that course of action."
"That's very surprising if we consider their own statements following the attack, Darryl."
"Indeed, Keith. In other news from Philadelphia, the suspect for the magical attack is still being detained and her lawyers have filed a complaint that her treatment is inhumane - apparently, she has been kept sedated for the whole time she has been detained so far, out of fear she might be using magic against the guards to escape. The ACLU has already stated that they are supporting a lawsuit to end this policy."
"As you can see, folks, the attack on Mr Delan is still causing consequences that reach far beyond Pennsylvania. We're looking forward to seeing when the Supreme Court will weigh in on this matter, and…"
Jack O'Neill pushed a button and closed the window on his computer. "I just wanted to catch up on the sports results," he muttered. "And all I get is this affair."
"Well, Jack, it's only expected. One of the most important supporters of a presidential candidate was not only attacked - fatally, now - with magic but also revealed to be a child abuser, and that just when the election campaign is ramping up. Every news organisation will focus on this." Daniel shrugged. "And as we just heard, the ramifications of this event keep growing in importance. This could be a leading case for handling magical murder and detaining suspects with magic power - and that, of course, would influence the political consequences of the attack."
"I thought lawsuits took a long time to be decided," Bow said. "Wouldn't the political consequences manifest before that?"
"Unless the religious fanatics somehow get a majority in congress to support their bills, it'll be a long time before any bill aimed at regulating magic will be voted on. There are many steps bills have to pass before a vote happens," Daniel explained. "And yes, the delay is the point - it's generally not a good idea to enact laws in the heat of the moment," he added when Glimmer opened her mouth.
The princess closed her mouth with a scowl, and Jack sniggered. One rant against democracy cut down before it could get going. Nice work, Daniel!
"Sometimes you can't wait for months or years, though - you have to act immediately to fix something," Adora cut in.
"That's generally the purview of the executive - the President, in America," Daniel told her.
Glimmer snorted. "Your elected princess, you mean."
"It's not quite the same. There are a lot of checks and balances that prevent the President from becoming a monarch," Daniel said.
"I know," Glimmer replied. "But effectively, you still need someone to take charge in a crisis. And if you trust them to do so in a crisis, why not trust them when things are going well? If you didn't trust them, you wouldn't have voted for them, right?"
"The idea is that no single person or faction can have too much power," Daniel explained.
"Yes, we know that. But what do you do if you can't get anything done because everyone keeps blocking everyone else?" Glimmer shook her head again.
"What do you do if you get a bad princess?" Jack shot back. "A bad president can be voted out of office. How do you get rid of a bad monarch without launching a coup?"
"Sooner or later, a bad ruler is ousted because their neighbours get involved," Glimmer said.
"So, it's not a bloody revolution but a bloody invasion?" Jack asked.
"Yes, like you did in Germany and Japan," Glimmer smiled far too sweetly.
"Which weren't democracies at the time," Daniel pointed out.
But at least Germany had been a democracy for a decade or so before, Jack knew. Not that he would mention that. Glimmer and the other princesses already had a bad opinion of democracy, and the latest events back home hadn't done anything to improve them. "So," he spoke up instead. "What's that new and possible stupid plan you've mentioned?"
Glimmer exchanged glances with Adora and Catra.
"It's not a stupid plan," Adora said.
"It is," Catra cut in.
"It's your idea!" Glimmer blurted out.
"So I'd know. It's stupid. And dangerous. But I don't see anyone with a better idea." Catra shrugged. "Anyway, the idea is to send a covert strike team down to the planet, infiltrate the palace, nab Ba'al…"
"I'm liking this plan already!" Jack said with a grin.
"...and replace him with a body double - or a doppelgänger," Catra finished.
Jack frowned. "Are you planning to let a Tok'ra take over the clone we captured?" That would run counter to pretty much every Alliance principle. The princesses had insisted that clones were people and had to be treated as such. "Or… doppelgänger?" Hadn't they mentioned some shapeshifter everyone was afraid would escape Etheria if the gate weren't strictly controlled? What was their name again? Something with 'double'...
"Double Trouble," Glimmer confirmed his suspicion.
The Enchanted Grotto, Etheria, August 10th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"Ah! The Enchanted Grotto! The place for every successful and famous rogue to mingle with their peers! You'll never find a greater collection of the most cunning scoundrels in all of Etheria!"
"Ugh. You sound as if you're proud of being a regular here!"
"My love! Such fame and prestige is merely the result of my love for ADVENTURE! But what kind of man would I be, what kind of sailor, if I did not accept the fame my deeds earned me?"
"The humble and honest kind?"
"Ack! You wound me, my love!"
"Don't tempt me!"
While Sea Hawk and Mermista either flirted or quarrelled - maybe a bit of both - Adora looked around. The underwater club did look impressive with its huge windows granting everyone an excellent view of the underwater landscape? Seascape? Though the guests didn't look as impressive as Sea Hawk had made them sound - most were eyeing Adora and her friends warily.
"Guess they haven't forgotten that you trashed the place last time you visited," Catra said. She sounded nonchalant, but Adora could see how being underwater made her nervous - her tail was swishing back and forth much faster than usual, and she was flexing her claws unconsciously. And her fur was bristling a little, as Adora felt on the arm she had hooked into her love's elbow.
"That was an unfortunate accident," Sea Hawk said as he walked straight towards the bar. "If we had intended to wreck the place, we would have set it on fire! Bartender! My good woman, an ale for me, and a pina colada for my love, Princess Mermista, the Mistress of the sea!"
The bartender didn't smile and seemed to pay more attention to Adora and Mermista than to Sea Hawk for a few seconds before she gruffly asked: "What's a pina colada?"
Sea Hawk beamed at her. "Oh, you don't know? It's one of the most famous drinks from Earth! It's easy to make, you just need…"
Adora tuned the recipe out as she looked around again. "I don't see them," she whispered. Double rouble could be anyone amongst the gathered smugglers and pirates. Maybe they should have asked Prince Peekablue to come with them instead of merely pointing out where they could find he shapeshifter…
Catra smirked. "They can change their form but they can't change their mind." She looked around for a moment, scanning the room. Then she cocked her head, staring at a goatman in a very flashy suit.
"And there they are!" Catra beamed and walked up to the man, Melog - the one who had actually spotted the shapeshifter - trailing behind her. "Hey, Double Trouble! Just the criminal we're looking for!"
"You brought the princesses here?" the woman Double Trouble had been talking to spat. "Are you daft?"
The man gasped and laid a hand on his heart. "Why, I have no idea why they are here - or why they mistake me for someone else!"
"Save it, Double Trouble, we know it's you. Really? Returning to the Grotto? Where's your creativity?" Catra reached out and grabbed the man at the scruff of their neck. Adora saw that her claws were peaking out again - and pricking the throat's skin. "Let's have a private talk!"
The goatman froze for a moment, looking frightened, then suddenly relaxed and pouted. "Must you ruin my performance? I had them eating out of my hand!"
"Why you!" The woman raised her hand to slap or hit them, but Adora stepped between the two.
"Please don't hit them."
The woman paled and took a quick step back. "I'm sorry, Princess! Please excuse me." She hurried away - towards the exit.
And she wasn't the only one, Adora noted - the Grotto was emptying. Half the guests had already left, or so it seemed.
Her friends must have left a really bad impression the last time they had visited.
"...and then you decorate it with a slice of pineapple!"
And they weren't making a good impression today either - the bartender was glaring at Sea Hawk. "I don't have a 'malibu' either - no, don't tell me the recipe!"
"It's coconut flavoured rum!"
"I said don't tell me!"
"But how can you mix the drink for my love if you don't know the recipe?"
"We don't serve princesses!"
"But… that's discrimination!"
"Sea Hawk! Mermista!" Adora called out. "We're leaving!"
"Finally!"
"But we didn't get our drinks yet!" Sea Hawk complained.
Mermista scoffed. "We can have drinks when we have our private talk with Double Trouble, Sea Hawk. We'll probably need them."
"I didn't agree to a private talk!" Double Trouble protested.
"No one asked you to." Catra flashed her fangs but didn't release her grip on their neck.
"I'm not saying anything without a lawyer!"
Catra snorted. "We're not on Earth. And it's not that kind of talk."
"I think you're enjoying this far too much, Kitty!"
Adora thought so too. Especially looking at Melog's colour. Not that she would say that, of course.
And, if she was honest, she also enjoyed unnerving Double Trouble. At least a little. They had caused a lot of trouble, after all, and she didn't think playing nice would send the right message to them.
Adora and her friends wanted their help, but they wouldn't let them run wild in exchange.
Royal Palace, Bright Moon, Etheria, August 10th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"You went to all that trouble just to have me sit through a presentation in the palace? You could have just asked! Or… did you call me in because you need some advice about style and panache? Because those are truly dreadful clothes, girlfriend!"
Samantha Carter was a career officer and scientist. How she looked, especially in uniform, did not define her. And Double Trouble may have acted confidently, but it was clear that they were here against their will - Catra had dragged them into the room at clawpoint, and the door was not only guarded but locked.
And yet, the blatant disparaging of her uniform annoyed her. It was a slight against every member of the Alliance forces. Against everyone was willing to risk their lives to defeat the Goa'uld.
So, she didn't ignore the barb. "Clearly, our standards differ."
"You have standards? Could have fooled me! How can you wear such drab clothes? Even Kitty Cat and Princess Sword, who still wear their old uniforms, have more style than that - at least their uniforms don't look like the good old 'one size doesn't fit anyone' style. No wonder you guard the gate so tightly, Earth's people must be desperate to visit our tailors!" Double Trouble shook her head and flashed her a very toothy grin.
"Yeah, as if we believe you haven't devoured every last scrap of information about Earth's culture you could get." Glimmer scoffed.
"You've been following me? A royal fan! I am honoured, Queen Glimmer!" Double Trouble bowed, then sat down in a pointedly casual manner on her seat. "So, what kind of presentation is this?"
Catra rolled her eyes and stood behind her, lightly touching her back with one claw. "The kind you pay attention to."
"Oh, stuff it. You want me bad enough to personally travel underwater, you won't hurt me for being me, Kitty Cat." Double Trouble grinned again, and Sam was reminded of the Unas they had met.
"Oh, we have alternatives," she told them. Loki actually had had a proposal ready to clone a body double and use a synthetic symbiote and the right amount of Naquadah traces to pass for a Ba'al. Sam hadn't liked to tell him that the Alliance didn't create people for a task that needed doing. And that was before she had realised that he had planned to use Asgard technology to move a trained infiltrator's consciousness into it. Clearly, he needed more oversight again. And the Alliance needed better operational security - Loki hadn't been cleared for that knowledge in the first place.
"None as good as the original, girlfriend!"
Sam smiled. She was familiar with that kind of act - she had met her share of blenders in the force and, of course, in academics. "That remains to be seen."
"Yeah," Glimmer said. "Don't kid yourself - it would be nice if you helped us, but we don't need you."
"But you want me so badly, you go to all this trouble for little old Double Trouble!" They leaned forward, and suddenly, they were no longer looking like a humanoid lizard, but like Sam. "Because I'm the best," Sam heard herself say as the double's body language shifted as well - it was like looking at a recording of herself.
"Your help could save thousands of people," Adora told them.
"Wow, you are desperate then!"
Sam never grinned like that, though.
"Thousands of enemies," Catra corrected them.
Double Trouble shrugged - did Sam really look like that when she did it, or had the shapeshifter added a bit more to it? She would have to check that with a mirror. "That's the same thing for you folks. You want to save everyone."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Glimmer shot back. Then she bared her teeth, "It's not. Imagine if we didn't."
"Well, you would…" Catra's claws closed lightly around their neck - Sam couldn't help wondering if the shapeshifter could counter an attempt to strangle them by changing shape - and Double Trouble grimaced. "You consider little old me an enemy?"
"That remains to be seen. We know you've been trying to get through the gate," Glimmer said.
"Everyone on Etheria has. It's the one big thing - the gateway to the stars! Can you blame me for wanting to see new worlds? Imagine the performances they could inspire!"
Glimmer snorted. "That's what we're afraid of."
Adora cleared her throat. "Listen to the presentation. Then you can decide if you want to help us or not."
Double Trouble made a point of looking around while rubbing their neck - Sam wished they would change back and stop using her appearance - and coughed. "The same way I could decide whether I'd attend this meeting or not?"
"That was just to show that we can find you wherever you are and whatever form you use."
Sam also didn't pout like that. It made her look far too… unprofessional. "I shouldn't have used Peekablue's form. No sense of humour, that guy. He should be flattered that I helped his reputation," Double Trouble said.
"Prince Peakblue wasn't very amused to hear that he's supposedly singing in a bar catering to pirates and other criminals," Glimmer said. "Or so I heard."
"You'd be surprised how many princesses frequent the place, Sparkles. Why, I alone have met half a dozen of them when I was there!"
"Ha ha." Glimmer snorted again, but Sam wasn't quite sure Double Trouble was kidding - royalty going slumming wasn't unheard of on earth. "Let's get on with the briefing."
"Oh, now it's a briefing? That takes me back to the war! Did you work for the Horde before?"
Sam didn't roll her eyes. She was an officer, and above that. But she really wished Double Trouble would stop copying her - it was unnerving. At least the General wasn't here; the twin jokes he'd make…
"...and that's the situation."
Catra had watched Double Trouble during Sam's briefing. They had kept Sam's form and exaggerated their reactions as expected, and she was sure that they had faked a number of their tells - Double Trouble wasn't so dangerous because they could shapeshift, but because they were the best actor she had seen, at least in person. But Catra also knew Double Trouble better than most who had the bad luck of meeting them. And she thought they were intrigued. Though that might be her being biased - it was Catra's plan, after a..
"So…" Double Trouble leaned back, stretching and pushing their chest out in a way that Sam would never do. "...you want me to sneak into an alien warlord's palace, on another world, and impersonate them so I can order their army to surrender?" Their grin also was far too toothy for Sam.
"Yes." Adora nodded.
Catra was sure that the offer to impersonate an alien ruler was almost irresistible to Double Trouble. They craved drama and attention, but most of all, they had an ego that rivaled Horde Prime. The only questions were what they would demand in return. Because no matter what Double Trouble might claim, they were as much a mercenary - or a fraud - as they were a performer.
"And you think I can imitate them convincingly based on the few recordings you have, and the clone you captured a while ago." Double Trouble cocked their head to the side.
"You're the best, aren't you?" Glimmer said.
"Of course, Sparkles!" Double Trouble snorted. "You won't find anyone else who's even near my league. That's why you went to all that trouble to grab little Double Trouble." She flashed her teeth again. "You are desperate."
"You are the most convenient solution," Catra spoke up behind them and grinned when she saw them twitch. "We have alternatives."
But they remained as smug as ever. "None as good as I am, or you'd not be talking to me."
"None as convenient as you - as long as you play ball," Catra corrected them.
"Sure, sure. You only need to convince his clone to help you. His clone who thinks he's the real Ba'al and hates you. And you would have to provide them with the cloned host to pull this off." Double Trouble scoffed. "Next, you'll be telling me you're planning to blow up the planet."
They sounded far too smug. It didn't take that much to come to that conclusion - Sam's briefing had been thorough, and with soldiers going on home leave after missions, people knew what the Goa'uld were like. And Double Trouble was familiar with the Princess Alliance.
"We don't think that the situation requires the deployment of weapons of mass destruction on a planetary scale," Sam said, in a tone as if she were talking about the weather.
Once more, Double Trouble twitched just a tiny bit.
"We don't need you to win this battle," Glimmer said. "We need you to win this battle without killing thousands of brainwashed clones and indoctrinated Jaffa."
"How considerate of you," Double Trouble shrugged. "Whatever your reasons, you need me. So, let's talk about compensation!" They leaned forward again, putting their hands on the table. "You cost me a nice payout when you wrecked my performance. And you want me to risk my life against a sadist alien prince who will take over my body if he catches me."
"He won't catch you. You're the best, aren't you?" Glimmer retorted.
"Anyone can get lucky. Even you guys managed to find me. Who knows what those aliens can do?"
"We'll take out Ba'al first," Adora said. "You just have to come along and then impersonate him when we have him."
"We've got experience with that kind of mission," Catra added. "No matter where he is, we can find him and take him out."
Double Trouble scowled. "Peekablue didn't rat me out because I used his appearance, huh? He threw in with you for good, but you're keeping it a secret so people won't expect him. I'd say you're smarter than I thought, princess. But that's your doing, Kitty Cat, hm?" They looked over her shoulder at Catra.
Catra flashed her fangs in response. They weren't as smart as they thought they were. Peekablue hadn't joined them - and if he had, the Alliance would never let him get close to any planet under a Goa'uld's control, much less one ruled by Ba'al; the guy wouldn't be able to handle the horrors he would see.
Double Trouble scoffed and turned back to Adora. "I want a spaceship and the promise that you won't track me down again."
"Forget it!" "Not in your dreams!" Glimmer and Catra spoke in unison.
"We won't let you lose on the galaxy," Adora said.
"Come on! What's a bit of fun down the line compared to all those poor people being killed?"
"Playing with people's lives isn't fun," Glimmer told her.
"Oh, but it is. Have you ever tried it?" Double Trouble grinned. "Princesses do it all the time but call it ruling!"
Glimmer scowled. "That's not the same! We do the best we can for our people and kingdoms! We don't abuse our power for our amusement!"
"Perhaps not you - you're far too straight-laced - but others?" Double Trouble snorted. "I've travelled a lot and I know better."
"Are you really trying to give us a 'you and I are the same' speech?" Catra snorted.
Double Trouble narrowed their eyes - still Sam's eyes - at her for a moment, then grinned. "Worth a try. So, that's a no on the spaceship? I'm not working for free. I've got bills to pay."
"More like bribes and fines, I bet," Glimmer muttered.
"It's all the same. So… You want me to risk my life - my freedom, my body - for the Alliance. And if I do it, I'll be saving countless lives. That should be worth a pretty penny, in my opinion! Just think of all the money you'll be saving for repairs!"
Glimmer snorted. "You'll be impersonating an infamous System Lord. Don't tell me you wouldn't pay for that chance."
"I never pay for things I can get for free, darling! It's bad business!"
And didn't that sum up Double Trouble perfectly? Catra shook her head as the negotiations continued. It was all just a matter of money now.
Not that Double Trouble had fooled her, of course - Catra knew they would try to slip away on a ship or through the gate as soon as they saw their chance.
But Catra and Melog would not allow that.
Deep Space, Ba'al's Realm, August 10th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"The code checks out - it's the Supreme Commander," the Clone at the terminal reported. "Opening the Iris."
A moment later, the Iris retracted, and Jack O'Neill looked at the stabilised wormhole in the flagship's gate room.
"Sending the all-clear. Sent."
"Hi, Jack!" Adora was the first through, followed by Glimmer and Bow. Adora's smile looked a bit forced, and Glimmer wasn't even hiding her scowl while Bow looked a bit concerned.
Then Carter arrived with a wide grin on her face, and Jack's eyes narrowed. He had never seen that expression on her face. It looked off - almost deranged.
And then another Carter arrived, with a familiar expression - lips pressed together, a slight front on her face as she tried to look professional and polite, yeah, that was Carter pissed off.
"Jack, this is Double Trouble. Double Trouble, General Jack O'Neill," Adora confirmed Jack's suspicion.
"Ohh! You're the famous Jack!" The Doppelgänger gasped and clasped her hands over her - their - chest. "I've heard so much about you!"
Jack swallowed his reflexive 'Only good things, I hope?' response and looked at Carter.
"They've insisted on staying in this form for reasons unknown, sir," Carter replied to his unsaid question.
"They like needling people," Catra, who had brought up the rear with Melog, added.
"What? Little old me? Perish the thought!" Double Trouble's laugh was much too loud for Carter and filled the entire room. "I just want to look my best when making a first impression, and Major Carter was the most attractive!"
"The only one who won't hurt you for copying them, you mean," Catra said, flashing her fangs.
Judging by Carter's expression, she was reconsidering that stance. Well, Jack had told her before that there were times and places where professionalism was overrated - not lately, though.
Double Trouble laughed again. "As I said, she is the most attractive among you bunch - but she's also new; I've met the rest of you before. Consider this a demonstration of my skill."
Jack snorted. "Consider me unimpressed, then. Looks aren't everything."
Suddenly, the Doppelgänger's entire stance and expression changed, all the exuberance vanishing in an instant as they straightened. "I concur, sir. For a perfect imitation, one has to copy not just the target's appearance, but everything about them - but most importantly, one has to understand them on a fundamental level. That requires thorough observation, preferably at different occasions so one can study how they react to various situations and stressors."
Jack suppressed a shudder. That was… Carter. He couldn't help but glance at the real Carter, just to check that she hadn't been switched with the copy. Nope, still there - and looking as unnerved as he felt.
He was almost glad when the fake Carter dropped the act again and looked around with open curiosity. "So… nice digs you have here. Or they would be if they didn't give me flashbacks to the war."
Catra snorted again. "Spare us the theatrics. You never were on a Horde ship before."
"How would you know?" Double Trouble shot back.
"You were hiding in the Enchanted Grotto until we exposed you," Glimmer replied. "And we weren't missing a frigate after the war."
Double Trouble laughed again in that un-Carter-like way of theirs. "Good point! But I did fight the very Clones who crew the ship. No hard feelings, I hope?"
"So did we," Glimmer muttered.
The Clone in charge of the gateroom looked at them with a neutral expression. "The Supreme Commander has cleared you."
"And that's all you need, right? Wow, you really haven't changed, have you?" Double Trouble giggled - Carter never giggled - and then clapped her hands together. "So, let me take a look at the material you have on that 'Ba'al'. If you don't let me visit the clone, I'll need every scrap of data you have on the target. Chop chop!"
Jack was reconsidering his stance on not allowing them access to the Fishtank. If they were sent to the Goa'uld holding area, they would be out of his hair for a while. Carter looked as if she was planning an accident for the Doppelgänger. Not that he couldn't understand her - if someone were wearing his face and body like that, he'd probably feel similarly.
Adora nodded. "Catra will lead you to the briefing room we prepared."
"Oh, just give me directions! I'm sure I can find my w…ack!"
Catra had grabbed them by the neck, and Jack could see the tips of her claws just touching her skin. "You're not going anywhere alone."
"It's as if you don't trust me! Aren't we supposed to work together?"
"We trust you - to be as annoying as possible," Glimmer said.
"Now, let's go! Chop chop!" Catra all but marched Double Trouble out of the room, and the last Jack heard was a faint Wow! Are we really in space?" right before the doors closed.
He turned to look at Carter, who sighed. "Everything OK, Carter?"
She straightened at once. "Yes, sir. They're annoying, but I've worked with worse."
Jack nodded. "Well, they're out of your hair for now. You can go back to dealing with Goa'uld networks," he told her with a smile. "We'll handle them."
"Yes, sir." She nodded, but she didn't seem to be as relieved as he expected if the frown she aimed at the door was anything to go by.
Adora had to admit that for all their very annoying attitude - she had no doubt that if anything happened to Double Trouble, almost everyone who had met them would cheer, even, or especially, Sam, and Jack might already be planning something - they were very good at what they did, and professional about it. Double Trouble had spent the last several hours reviewing every recording they had of Ba'al or his clones. And they had, finally, stopped using Sam's form and had started using Ba'al's preferred host's form.
Unfortunately, that hadn't helped with making them less annoying.
"Bow before your god! It is I, Ba'al, who has come to rule you! You shall rue the day you dared defy me! Resistance is useless! You cannot defeat a god! You may have defeated some of my supposed rivals, but they were weak - now you are facing Ba'al!"
They were obviously enjoying this, too.
"Looks like someone's read a few too many Fantastic Four comics. If this were public, Marvel would sue," Jack commented.
"Oh, all those dictators sound somewhat alike. It's the common language of overblown egos," Double Trouble said - with a smirk aimed at Catra.
"Then you don't even have to make any effort, just being yourself will be enough," Catra shot back with a toothy, too toothy, smile.
"Oh, Kitty's got claws now!" Double Trouble chuckled, and, for a moment, Adora feared that they would push the issue and remind Catra of their shared past. And that wouldn't do anyone any good. But they shrugged and went on: "So, I've gotten through all you have on the man, snake, whatever."
"Reptile would be an alternative." Apparently, Sam could be a bit catty as well.
Adora was starting to wonder if hiring Double Trouble had been a good idea. Even Catra had said it was a stupid idea. But the alternatives were all… so bloody. Ba'al's organisation all but ensured that his forces wouldn't simply surrender should he be taken out. According to the analysts, even records of his defeat would not be enough to convince everyone of his commanders that he was genuinely defeated.
To be fair, the Alliance would have to do extensive scanning and testing to check if they caught the real Ba'al as well - and even so, one of his clones might be able to take over, perhaps without realising they were a clone.
Double Trouble grinned - and shifted into Sam's form. "Oh, are you mad I changed forms? Don't worry, your form is still my favourite. You're the most attractive person among your bunch, after all. Right, General sir?" Their pose had changed as well; they were no longer sitting straight but draped over their chair in an almost lazy - or sensual - manner that more than a bit reminded Adora of Catra at her best - or worst, depending on the occasion.
If glares could kill, Double Trouble would be dead twice over. Maybe more.
Of course, that only encouraged them. "Oh, do you disagree, General? Or should I say Jack?"
Enough. "Stop it!" Adora spoke up. "We're here to prepare to deal with Ba'al. Riling up people doesn't help with that."
"If you can't handle little old me, how do you think you can handle Ba'al? The guy's not dumb; he'll do much worse to rile you up so you will make mistakes." Double Trouble shook their head with a wide grin. "Consider it training."
"Ba'al wouldn't be so petty," Catra cut in. "He would start killing or torturing prisoners to make us angry, not trying to start some relationship drama. This is no cheap soap opera."
Double Trouble scowled in return. "There's nothing cheap about interpersonal drama! The tension! The emotions! You should know best how that can influence wars."
Adora drew a sharp breath. They had gone there. She glanced at Catra.
Catra scoffed. "And if we were trying to work with Ba'al or trusted him, and he were like you, you might have a point. But we aren't and he isn't." She leaned forward. "You should know best how devastating it can be when you suddenly discover in the middle of a battle that your allies don't have your back."
Double Trouble recoiled but recovered. "You're the Princess Alliance! We have a deal!"
"Yes, we do. So stop trying to make us break it or we will," Glimmer said.
"Would you really be so petty as to abandon the best hope of saving all those people over some teasing?" Double Trouble looked around with a tight smile.
Catra shrugged pointedly. "If you can't control yourself you can't be trusted to pull this off anyway."
Adora caught Double Trouble glancing at her and nodded.
Double Trouble's scowl deepened, but they slouched in their chair and crossed their arms over their chest. "You all need to loosen up!"
Adora took that as agreement to stop the petty needling and started the briefing.
Deep Space, Ba'al's Realm, August 11th, 2000 (Earth Time)
As she had expected, Samantha Carter found the General doing the pre-flight check of the stealth shuttle the team would be taking for the infiltration mission. "Sir."
"Carter!" He straightened from where he had been bent down to inspect the undercarriage. "You're early."
She was aware of that - she had planned on it. "Just making sure everything is ready," she lied. "This is an important mission."
"Yes." He nodded, then looked towards the hangar entrance. "I hope our latest volunteer won't be too difficult."
Sam nodded. That they would be difficult was clear as day; the only question was how much trouble they would cause.
"And I hope they will pick another form. Having two of you around gets confusing," he added after a moment, cocking his head to look at her.
She nodded a bit too firmly. "The last thing we need on a mission is confusion."
"Right." He nodded curtly.
For a moment, it looked like he was about to say something else, but he didn't.
Sam wasn't quite sure if she was relieved or disappointed. But they had an understanding. "I'll go set up, sir," she said, and entered the shuttle. She needed to be prepared for their insertion - the target system had a lot more potential threats than any system they had infiltrated before. Sure, none of the Death Gliders' sensors could detect an Alliance stealth shuttle - they had not detected the spy bots surrounding them either - but there was always blind luck.
And Sam wasn't in the habit of leaving things to luck. Not when she could help it.
"So, that's the stealth shuttle!" Double Trouble had not changed forms, Sam noticed while she tried not to scowl. "Able to fly up right to an enemy flagship and dock with them being none the wiser! A ship after my taste!"
Sam pressed her lips together to avoid blurting out her first thought.
"You won't get one," Glimmer said it out loud. "They are reserved for Alliance special operations."
Sam expected the General to add: "And for my commute!", but he merely nodded with a tight-lipped expression.
"Aw! But they are made for me! Can they change shape as well? Or just transponders?" Double Trouble mock-whined in a way that Sam would never.
"We're going onto a dangerous mission," the General spoke up. "The danger of friendly fire is always present in such situations, and we can't afford any potential confusion. So, pick another shape to wear, Double Trouble. One we can't mistake for one of our own:"
"Really? You of all people think you would confuse me and Sam-Darling here?" Double Trouble laughed and stepped next to Sam before she could react. They tried to wrap an arm around Sam's shoulders, but she blocked them.
"See?" Double Trouble grinned and stepped in front of the General. "She's the grumpy, unapproachable one. I'm the friendly one!"
Sam imagined a little friendly fire right now. Using a taser. The General looked like he was imagining a little friendly fire with a flamethrower.
"Double Trouble!" Adora snapped. "Stop it!"
"Change into your usual form," Catra said. "We wouldn't want to mistake you for someone else that Ba'al cloned. After all, his forces have met all of us before, and we don't know what he's been up to."
Double Trouble narrowed her eyes and scowled - Sam made a note to check if she ever looked like that - before snorting. "And you'd shoot first and ask questions later, huh?"
Catra shrugged and bared her teeth in a wide grin. "With a zat, we can just stun people and wake them up later."
"It might be less trouble for the team if we would stun the shapeshifter before departure and wake them up once we have secured Ba'al, Supreme Commander. I could carry them without much trouble," Teal'c commented with such a perfectly bland expression, Sam would not have realised he wasn't serious, at least not entirely so, if she hadn't known him as well as she did.
"What?" Double Trouble gasped at him, then looked at the others.
Adora blinked, Catra's grin grew even wider - Sam didn't have to look at Melog to confirm she was amused - and Glimmer looked smug. Even Bow seemed to struggle not to smile.
Sam caught herself grinning as well.
Double Trouble muttered a curse under their breath and shifted into their lizard-like form. "I wonder how you think you can win this war when you can't even handle a little chaos in your schedule."
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the General asked with a satisfied grin as everyone boarded the shuttle.
Deep Space, Ba'al's Realm, August 8th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"...and as the authorities confirmed that James Delan has succumbed to what has been identified as a magical curse, the recently confirmed presidential candidate of Mr Delan's party has called on everyone to pray for Mr Delan's family and to abstain from trying to weaponise the tragedy for political purposes. Darryl Miller, NBC."
"Thank you Darryl! Now, of course, a presidential candidate would say that when one of his most important supporters has been implicated in such a scandal. But it feels more than a bit hypocritical when his own party has been weaponising the magical attack on Mr Delan for their own goals practically from the point when he was loaded into an ambulance, wouldn't you agree?"
"I certainly would, Keith. I think we all remember how much certain circles tried to use this tragedy to get magic regulated in the US. In fact, Mr Delan's family is apparently considering a lawsuit because they claim if not for being influenced by the constant calls against magic, they would have consented to letting a sorceress treat Mr Delan since the doctors in charge of his treatment recommended that course of action."
"That's very surprising if we consider their own statements following the attack, Darryl."
"Indeed, Keith. In other news from Philadelphia, the suspect for the magical attack is still being detained and her lawyers have filed a complaint that her treatment is inhumane - apparently, she has been kept sedated for the whole time she has been detained so far, out of fear she might be using magic against the guards to escape. The ACLU has already stated that they are supporting a lawsuit to end this policy."
"As you can see, folks, the attack on Mr Delan is still causing consequences that reach far beyond Pennsylvania. We're looking forward to seeing when the Supreme Court will weigh in on this matter, and…"
Jack O'Neill pushed a button and closed the window on his computer. "I just wanted to catch up on the sports results," he muttered. "And all I get is this affair."
"Well, Jack, it's only expected. One of the most important supporters of a presidential candidate was not only attacked - fatally, now - with magic but also revealed to be a child abuser, and that just when the election campaign is ramping up. Every news organisation will focus on this." Daniel shrugged. "And as we just heard, the ramifications of this event keep growing in importance. This could be a leading case for handling magical murder and detaining suspects with magic power - and that, of course, would influence the political consequences of the attack."
"I thought lawsuits took a long time to be decided," Bow said. "Wouldn't the political consequences manifest before that?"
"Unless the religious fanatics somehow get a majority in congress to support their bills, it'll be a long time before any bill aimed at regulating magic will be voted on. There are many steps bills have to pass before a vote happens," Daniel explained. "And yes, the delay is the point - it's generally not a good idea to enact laws in the heat of the moment," he added when Glimmer opened her mouth.
The princess closed her mouth with a scowl, and Jack sniggered. One rant against democracy cut down before it could get going. Nice work, Daniel!
"Sometimes you can't wait for months or years, though - you have to act immediately to fix something," Adora cut in.
"That's generally the purview of the executive - the President, in America," Daniel told her.
Glimmer snorted. "Your elected princess, you mean."
"It's not quite the same. There are a lot of checks and balances that prevent the President from becoming a monarch," Daniel said.
"I know," Glimmer replied. "But effectively, you still need someone to take charge in a crisis. And if you trust them to do so in a crisis, why not trust them when things are going well? If you didn't trust them, you wouldn't have voted for them, right?"
"The idea is that no single person or faction can have too much power," Daniel explained.
"Yes, we know that. But what do you do if you can't get anything done because everyone keeps blocking everyone else?" Glimmer shook her head again.
"What do you do if you get a bad princess?" Jack shot back. "A bad president can be voted out of office. How do you get rid of a bad monarch without launching a coup?"
"Sooner or later, a bad ruler is ousted because their neighbours get involved," Glimmer said.
"So, it's not a bloody revolution but a bloody invasion?" Jack asked.
"Yes, like you did in Germany and Japan," Glimmer smiled far too sweetly.
"Which weren't democracies at the time," Daniel pointed out.
But at least Germany had been a democracy for a decade or so before, Jack knew. Not that he would mention that. Glimmer and the other princesses already had a bad opinion of democracy, and the latest events back home hadn't done anything to improve them. "So," he spoke up instead. "What's that new and possible stupid plan you've mentioned?"
Glimmer exchanged glances with Adora and Catra.
"It's not a stupid plan," Adora said.
"It is," Catra cut in.
"It's your idea!" Glimmer blurted out.
"So I'd know. It's stupid. And dangerous. But I don't see anyone with a better idea." Catra shrugged. "Anyway, the idea is to send a covert strike team down to the planet, infiltrate the palace, nab Ba'al…"
"I'm liking this plan already!" Jack said with a grin.
"...and replace him with a body double - or a doppelgänger," Catra finished.
Jack frowned. "Are you planning to let a Tok'ra take over the clone we captured?" That would run counter to pretty much every Alliance principle. The princesses had insisted that clones were people and had to be treated as such. "Or… doppelgänger?" Hadn't they mentioned some shapeshifter everyone was afraid would escape Etheria if the gate weren't strictly controlled? What was their name again? Something with 'double'...
"Double Trouble," Glimmer confirmed his suspicion.
*****
The Enchanted Grotto, Etheria, August 10th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"Ah! The Enchanted Grotto! The place for every successful and famous rogue to mingle with their peers! You'll never find a greater collection of the most cunning scoundrels in all of Etheria!"
"Ugh. You sound as if you're proud of being a regular here!"
"My love! Such fame and prestige is merely the result of my love for ADVENTURE! But what kind of man would I be, what kind of sailor, if I did not accept the fame my deeds earned me?"
"The humble and honest kind?"
"Ack! You wound me, my love!"
"Don't tempt me!"
While Sea Hawk and Mermista either flirted or quarrelled - maybe a bit of both - Adora looked around. The underwater club did look impressive with its huge windows granting everyone an excellent view of the underwater landscape? Seascape? Though the guests didn't look as impressive as Sea Hawk had made them sound - most were eyeing Adora and her friends warily.
"Guess they haven't forgotten that you trashed the place last time you visited," Catra said. She sounded nonchalant, but Adora could see how being underwater made her nervous - her tail was swishing back and forth much faster than usual, and she was flexing her claws unconsciously. And her fur was bristling a little, as Adora felt on the arm she had hooked into her love's elbow.
"That was an unfortunate accident," Sea Hawk said as he walked straight towards the bar. "If we had intended to wreck the place, we would have set it on fire! Bartender! My good woman, an ale for me, and a pina colada for my love, Princess Mermista, the Mistress of the sea!"
The bartender didn't smile and seemed to pay more attention to Adora and Mermista than to Sea Hawk for a few seconds before she gruffly asked: "What's a pina colada?"
Sea Hawk beamed at her. "Oh, you don't know? It's one of the most famous drinks from Earth! It's easy to make, you just need…"
Adora tuned the recipe out as she looked around again. "I don't see them," she whispered. Double rouble could be anyone amongst the gathered smugglers and pirates. Maybe they should have asked Prince Peekablue to come with them instead of merely pointing out where they could find he shapeshifter…
Catra smirked. "They can change their form but they can't change their mind." She looked around for a moment, scanning the room. Then she cocked her head, staring at a goatman in a very flashy suit.
"And there they are!" Catra beamed and walked up to the man, Melog - the one who had actually spotted the shapeshifter - trailing behind her. "Hey, Double Trouble! Just the criminal we're looking for!"
"You brought the princesses here?" the woman Double Trouble had been talking to spat. "Are you daft?"
The man gasped and laid a hand on his heart. "Why, I have no idea why they are here - or why they mistake me for someone else!"
"Save it, Double Trouble, we know it's you. Really? Returning to the Grotto? Where's your creativity?" Catra reached out and grabbed the man at the scruff of their neck. Adora saw that her claws were peaking out again - and pricking the throat's skin. "Let's have a private talk!"
The goatman froze for a moment, looking frightened, then suddenly relaxed and pouted. "Must you ruin my performance? I had them eating out of my hand!"
"Why you!" The woman raised her hand to slap or hit them, but Adora stepped between the two.
"Please don't hit them."
The woman paled and took a quick step back. "I'm sorry, Princess! Please excuse me." She hurried away - towards the exit.
And she wasn't the only one, Adora noted - the Grotto was emptying. Half the guests had already left, or so it seemed.
Her friends must have left a really bad impression the last time they had visited.
"...and then you decorate it with a slice of pineapple!"
And they weren't making a good impression today either - the bartender was glaring at Sea Hawk. "I don't have a 'malibu' either - no, don't tell me the recipe!"
"It's coconut flavoured rum!"
"I said don't tell me!"
"But how can you mix the drink for my love if you don't know the recipe?"
"We don't serve princesses!"
"But… that's discrimination!"
"Sea Hawk! Mermista!" Adora called out. "We're leaving!"
"Finally!"
"But we didn't get our drinks yet!" Sea Hawk complained.
Mermista scoffed. "We can have drinks when we have our private talk with Double Trouble, Sea Hawk. We'll probably need them."
"I didn't agree to a private talk!" Double Trouble protested.
"No one asked you to." Catra flashed her fangs but didn't release her grip on their neck.
"I'm not saying anything without a lawyer!"
Catra snorted. "We're not on Earth. And it's not that kind of talk."
"I think you're enjoying this far too much, Kitty!"
Adora thought so too. Especially looking at Melog's colour. Not that she would say that, of course.
And, if she was honest, she also enjoyed unnerving Double Trouble. At least a little. They had caused a lot of trouble, after all, and she didn't think playing nice would send the right message to them.
Adora and her friends wanted their help, but they wouldn't let them run wild in exchange.
*****
Royal Palace, Bright Moon, Etheria, August 10th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"You went to all that trouble just to have me sit through a presentation in the palace? You could have just asked! Or… did you call me in because you need some advice about style and panache? Because those are truly dreadful clothes, girlfriend!"
Samantha Carter was a career officer and scientist. How she looked, especially in uniform, did not define her. And Double Trouble may have acted confidently, but it was clear that they were here against their will - Catra had dragged them into the room at clawpoint, and the door was not only guarded but locked.
And yet, the blatant disparaging of her uniform annoyed her. It was a slight against every member of the Alliance forces. Against everyone was willing to risk their lives to defeat the Goa'uld.
So, she didn't ignore the barb. "Clearly, our standards differ."
"You have standards? Could have fooled me! How can you wear such drab clothes? Even Kitty Cat and Princess Sword, who still wear their old uniforms, have more style than that - at least their uniforms don't look like the good old 'one size doesn't fit anyone' style. No wonder you guard the gate so tightly, Earth's people must be desperate to visit our tailors!" Double Trouble shook her head and flashed her a very toothy grin.
"Yeah, as if we believe you haven't devoured every last scrap of information about Earth's culture you could get." Glimmer scoffed.
"You've been following me? A royal fan! I am honoured, Queen Glimmer!" Double Trouble bowed, then sat down in a pointedly casual manner on her seat. "So, what kind of presentation is this?"
Catra rolled her eyes and stood behind her, lightly touching her back with one claw. "The kind you pay attention to."
"Oh, stuff it. You want me bad enough to personally travel underwater, you won't hurt me for being me, Kitty Cat." Double Trouble grinned again, and Sam was reminded of the Unas they had met.
"Oh, we have alternatives," she told them. Loki actually had had a proposal ready to clone a body double and use a synthetic symbiote and the right amount of Naquadah traces to pass for a Ba'al. Sam hadn't liked to tell him that the Alliance didn't create people for a task that needed doing. And that was before she had realised that he had planned to use Asgard technology to move a trained infiltrator's consciousness into it. Clearly, he needed more oversight again. And the Alliance needed better operational security - Loki hadn't been cleared for that knowledge in the first place.
"None as good as the original, girlfriend!"
Sam smiled. She was familiar with that kind of act - she had met her share of blenders in the force and, of course, in academics. "That remains to be seen."
"Yeah," Glimmer said. "Don't kid yourself - it would be nice if you helped us, but we don't need you."
"But you want me so badly, you go to all this trouble for little old Double Trouble!" They leaned forward, and suddenly, they were no longer looking like a humanoid lizard, but like Sam. "Because I'm the best," Sam heard herself say as the double's body language shifted as well - it was like looking at a recording of herself.
"Your help could save thousands of people," Adora told them.
"Wow, you are desperate then!"
Sam never grinned like that, though.
"Thousands of enemies," Catra corrected them.
Double Trouble shrugged - did Sam really look like that when she did it, or had the shapeshifter added a bit more to it? She would have to check that with a mirror. "That's the same thing for you folks. You want to save everyone."
"You say that like it's a bad thing," Glimmer shot back. Then she bared her teeth, "It's not. Imagine if we didn't."
"Well, you would…" Catra's claws closed lightly around their neck - Sam couldn't help wondering if the shapeshifter could counter an attempt to strangle them by changing shape - and Double Trouble grimaced. "You consider little old me an enemy?"
"That remains to be seen. We know you've been trying to get through the gate," Glimmer said.
"Everyone on Etheria has. It's the one big thing - the gateway to the stars! Can you blame me for wanting to see new worlds? Imagine the performances they could inspire!"
Glimmer snorted. "That's what we're afraid of."
Adora cleared her throat. "Listen to the presentation. Then you can decide if you want to help us or not."
Double Trouble made a point of looking around while rubbing their neck - Sam wished they would change back and stop using her appearance - and coughed. "The same way I could decide whether I'd attend this meeting or not?"
"That was just to show that we can find you wherever you are and whatever form you use."
Sam also didn't pout like that. It made her look far too… unprofessional. "I shouldn't have used Peekablue's form. No sense of humour, that guy. He should be flattered that I helped his reputation," Double Trouble said.
"Prince Peakblue wasn't very amused to hear that he's supposedly singing in a bar catering to pirates and other criminals," Glimmer said. "Or so I heard."
"You'd be surprised how many princesses frequent the place, Sparkles. Why, I alone have met half a dozen of them when I was there!"
"Ha ha." Glimmer snorted again, but Sam wasn't quite sure Double Trouble was kidding - royalty going slumming wasn't unheard of on earth. "Let's get on with the briefing."
"Oh, now it's a briefing? That takes me back to the war! Did you work for the Horde before?"
Sam didn't roll her eyes. She was an officer, and above that. But she really wished Double Trouble would stop copying her - it was unnerving. At least the General wasn't here; the twin jokes he'd make…
*****
"...and that's the situation."
Catra had watched Double Trouble during Sam's briefing. They had kept Sam's form and exaggerated their reactions as expected, and she was sure that they had faked a number of their tells - Double Trouble wasn't so dangerous because they could shapeshift, but because they were the best actor she had seen, at least in person. But Catra also knew Double Trouble better than most who had the bad luck of meeting them. And she thought they were intrigued. Though that might be her being biased - it was Catra's plan, after a..
"So…" Double Trouble leaned back, stretching and pushing their chest out in a way that Sam would never do. "...you want me to sneak into an alien warlord's palace, on another world, and impersonate them so I can order their army to surrender?" Their grin also was far too toothy for Sam.
"Yes." Adora nodded.
Catra was sure that the offer to impersonate an alien ruler was almost irresistible to Double Trouble. They craved drama and attention, but most of all, they had an ego that rivaled Horde Prime. The only questions were what they would demand in return. Because no matter what Double Trouble might claim, they were as much a mercenary - or a fraud - as they were a performer.
"And you think I can imitate them convincingly based on the few recordings you have, and the clone you captured a while ago." Double Trouble cocked their head to the side.
"You're the best, aren't you?" Glimmer said.
"Of course, Sparkles!" Double Trouble snorted. "You won't find anyone else who's even near my league. That's why you went to all that trouble to grab little Double Trouble." She flashed her teeth again. "You are desperate."
"You are the most convenient solution," Catra spoke up behind them and grinned when she saw them twitch. "We have alternatives."
But they remained as smug as ever. "None as good as I am, or you'd not be talking to me."
"None as convenient as you - as long as you play ball," Catra corrected them.
"Sure, sure. You only need to convince his clone to help you. His clone who thinks he's the real Ba'al and hates you. And you would have to provide them with the cloned host to pull this off." Double Trouble scoffed. "Next, you'll be telling me you're planning to blow up the planet."
They sounded far too smug. It didn't take that much to come to that conclusion - Sam's briefing had been thorough, and with soldiers going on home leave after missions, people knew what the Goa'uld were like. And Double Trouble was familiar with the Princess Alliance.
"We don't think that the situation requires the deployment of weapons of mass destruction on a planetary scale," Sam said, in a tone as if she were talking about the weather.
Once more, Double Trouble twitched just a tiny bit.
"We don't need you to win this battle," Glimmer said. "We need you to win this battle without killing thousands of brainwashed clones and indoctrinated Jaffa."
"How considerate of you," Double Trouble shrugged. "Whatever your reasons, you need me. So, let's talk about compensation!" They leaned forward again, putting their hands on the table. "You cost me a nice payout when you wrecked my performance. And you want me to risk my life against a sadist alien prince who will take over my body if he catches me."
"He won't catch you. You're the best, aren't you?" Glimmer retorted.
"Anyone can get lucky. Even you guys managed to find me. Who knows what those aliens can do?"
"We'll take out Ba'al first," Adora said. "You just have to come along and then impersonate him when we have him."
"We've got experience with that kind of mission," Catra added. "No matter where he is, we can find him and take him out."
Double Trouble scowled. "Peekablue didn't rat me out because I used his appearance, huh? He threw in with you for good, but you're keeping it a secret so people won't expect him. I'd say you're smarter than I thought, princess. But that's your doing, Kitty Cat, hm?" They looked over her shoulder at Catra.
Catra flashed her fangs in response. They weren't as smart as they thought they were. Peekablue hadn't joined them - and if he had, the Alliance would never let him get close to any planet under a Goa'uld's control, much less one ruled by Ba'al; the guy wouldn't be able to handle the horrors he would see.
Double Trouble scoffed and turned back to Adora. "I want a spaceship and the promise that you won't track me down again."
"Forget it!" "Not in your dreams!" Glimmer and Catra spoke in unison.
"We won't let you lose on the galaxy," Adora said.
"Come on! What's a bit of fun down the line compared to all those poor people being killed?"
"Playing with people's lives isn't fun," Glimmer told her.
"Oh, but it is. Have you ever tried it?" Double Trouble grinned. "Princesses do it all the time but call it ruling!"
Glimmer scowled. "That's not the same! We do the best we can for our people and kingdoms! We don't abuse our power for our amusement!"
"Perhaps not you - you're far too straight-laced - but others?" Double Trouble snorted. "I've travelled a lot and I know better."
"Are you really trying to give us a 'you and I are the same' speech?" Catra snorted.
Double Trouble narrowed their eyes - still Sam's eyes - at her for a moment, then grinned. "Worth a try. So, that's a no on the spaceship? I'm not working for free. I've got bills to pay."
"More like bribes and fines, I bet," Glimmer muttered.
"It's all the same. So… You want me to risk my life - my freedom, my body - for the Alliance. And if I do it, I'll be saving countless lives. That should be worth a pretty penny, in my opinion! Just think of all the money you'll be saving for repairs!"
Glimmer snorted. "You'll be impersonating an infamous System Lord. Don't tell me you wouldn't pay for that chance."
"I never pay for things I can get for free, darling! It's bad business!"
And didn't that sum up Double Trouble perfectly? Catra shook her head as the negotiations continued. It was all just a matter of money now.
Not that Double Trouble had fooled her, of course - Catra knew they would try to slip away on a ship or through the gate as soon as they saw their chance.
But Catra and Melog would not allow that.
*****
Deep Space, Ba'al's Realm, August 10th, 2000 (Earth Time)
"The code checks out - it's the Supreme Commander," the Clone at the terminal reported. "Opening the Iris."
A moment later, the Iris retracted, and Jack O'Neill looked at the stabilised wormhole in the flagship's gate room.
"Sending the all-clear. Sent."
"Hi, Jack!" Adora was the first through, followed by Glimmer and Bow. Adora's smile looked a bit forced, and Glimmer wasn't even hiding her scowl while Bow looked a bit concerned.
Then Carter arrived with a wide grin on her face, and Jack's eyes narrowed. He had never seen that expression on her face. It looked off - almost deranged.
And then another Carter arrived, with a familiar expression - lips pressed together, a slight front on her face as she tried to look professional and polite, yeah, that was Carter pissed off.
"Jack, this is Double Trouble. Double Trouble, General Jack O'Neill," Adora confirmed Jack's suspicion.
"Ohh! You're the famous Jack!" The Doppelgänger gasped and clasped her hands over her - their - chest. "I've heard so much about you!"
Jack swallowed his reflexive 'Only good things, I hope?' response and looked at Carter.
"They've insisted on staying in this form for reasons unknown, sir," Carter replied to his unsaid question.
"They like needling people," Catra, who had brought up the rear with Melog, added.
"What? Little old me? Perish the thought!" Double Trouble's laugh was much too loud for Carter and filled the entire room. "I just want to look my best when making a first impression, and Major Carter was the most attractive!"
"The only one who won't hurt you for copying them, you mean," Catra said, flashing her fangs.
Judging by Carter's expression, she was reconsidering that stance. Well, Jack had told her before that there were times and places where professionalism was overrated - not lately, though.
Double Trouble laughed again. "As I said, she is the most attractive among you bunch - but she's also new; I've met the rest of you before. Consider this a demonstration of my skill."
Jack snorted. "Consider me unimpressed, then. Looks aren't everything."
Suddenly, the Doppelgänger's entire stance and expression changed, all the exuberance vanishing in an instant as they straightened. "I concur, sir. For a perfect imitation, one has to copy not just the target's appearance, but everything about them - but most importantly, one has to understand them on a fundamental level. That requires thorough observation, preferably at different occasions so one can study how they react to various situations and stressors."
Jack suppressed a shudder. That was… Carter. He couldn't help but glance at the real Carter, just to check that she hadn't been switched with the copy. Nope, still there - and looking as unnerved as he felt.
He was almost glad when the fake Carter dropped the act again and looked around with open curiosity. "So… nice digs you have here. Or they would be if they didn't give me flashbacks to the war."
Catra snorted again. "Spare us the theatrics. You never were on a Horde ship before."
"How would you know?" Double Trouble shot back.
"You were hiding in the Enchanted Grotto until we exposed you," Glimmer replied. "And we weren't missing a frigate after the war."
Double Trouble laughed again in that un-Carter-like way of theirs. "Good point! But I did fight the very Clones who crew the ship. No hard feelings, I hope?"
"So did we," Glimmer muttered.
The Clone in charge of the gateroom looked at them with a neutral expression. "The Supreme Commander has cleared you."
"And that's all you need, right? Wow, you really haven't changed, have you?" Double Trouble giggled - Carter never giggled - and then clapped her hands together. "So, let me take a look at the material you have on that 'Ba'al'. If you don't let me visit the clone, I'll need every scrap of data you have on the target. Chop chop!"
Jack was reconsidering his stance on not allowing them access to the Fishtank. If they were sent to the Goa'uld holding area, they would be out of his hair for a while. Carter looked as if she was planning an accident for the Doppelgänger. Not that he couldn't understand her - if someone were wearing his face and body like that, he'd probably feel similarly.
Adora nodded. "Catra will lead you to the briefing room we prepared."
"Oh, just give me directions! I'm sure I can find my w…ack!"
Catra had grabbed them by the neck, and Jack could see the tips of her claws just touching her skin. "You're not going anywhere alone."
"It's as if you don't trust me! Aren't we supposed to work together?"
"We trust you - to be as annoying as possible," Glimmer said.
"Now, let's go! Chop chop!" Catra all but marched Double Trouble out of the room, and the last Jack heard was a faint Wow! Are we really in space?" right before the doors closed.
He turned to look at Carter, who sighed. "Everything OK, Carter?"
She straightened at once. "Yes, sir. They're annoying, but I've worked with worse."
Jack nodded. "Well, they're out of your hair for now. You can go back to dealing with Goa'uld networks," he told her with a smile. "We'll handle them."
"Yes, sir." She nodded, but she didn't seem to be as relieved as he expected if the frown she aimed at the door was anything to go by.
*****
Adora had to admit that for all their very annoying attitude - she had no doubt that if anything happened to Double Trouble, almost everyone who had met them would cheer, even, or especially, Sam, and Jack might already be planning something - they were very good at what they did, and professional about it. Double Trouble had spent the last several hours reviewing every recording they had of Ba'al or his clones. And they had, finally, stopped using Sam's form and had started using Ba'al's preferred host's form.
Unfortunately, that hadn't helped with making them less annoying.
"Bow before your god! It is I, Ba'al, who has come to rule you! You shall rue the day you dared defy me! Resistance is useless! You cannot defeat a god! You may have defeated some of my supposed rivals, but they were weak - now you are facing Ba'al!"
They were obviously enjoying this, too.
"Looks like someone's read a few too many Fantastic Four comics. If this were public, Marvel would sue," Jack commented.
"Oh, all those dictators sound somewhat alike. It's the common language of overblown egos," Double Trouble said - with a smirk aimed at Catra.
"Then you don't even have to make any effort, just being yourself will be enough," Catra shot back with a toothy, too toothy, smile.
"Oh, Kitty's got claws now!" Double Trouble chuckled, and, for a moment, Adora feared that they would push the issue and remind Catra of their shared past. And that wouldn't do anyone any good. But they shrugged and went on: "So, I've gotten through all you have on the man, snake, whatever."
"Reptile would be an alternative." Apparently, Sam could be a bit catty as well.
Adora was starting to wonder if hiring Double Trouble had been a good idea. Even Catra had said it was a stupid idea. But the alternatives were all… so bloody. Ba'al's organisation all but ensured that his forces wouldn't simply surrender should he be taken out. According to the analysts, even records of his defeat would not be enough to convince everyone of his commanders that he was genuinely defeated.
To be fair, the Alliance would have to do extensive scanning and testing to check if they caught the real Ba'al as well - and even so, one of his clones might be able to take over, perhaps without realising they were a clone.
Double Trouble grinned - and shifted into Sam's form. "Oh, are you mad I changed forms? Don't worry, your form is still my favourite. You're the most attractive person among your bunch, after all. Right, General sir?" Their pose had changed as well; they were no longer sitting straight but draped over their chair in an almost lazy - or sensual - manner that more than a bit reminded Adora of Catra at her best - or worst, depending on the occasion.
If glares could kill, Double Trouble would be dead twice over. Maybe more.
Of course, that only encouraged them. "Oh, do you disagree, General? Or should I say Jack?"
Enough. "Stop it!" Adora spoke up. "We're here to prepare to deal with Ba'al. Riling up people doesn't help with that."
"If you can't handle little old me, how do you think you can handle Ba'al? The guy's not dumb; he'll do much worse to rile you up so you will make mistakes." Double Trouble shook their head with a wide grin. "Consider it training."
"Ba'al wouldn't be so petty," Catra cut in. "He would start killing or torturing prisoners to make us angry, not trying to start some relationship drama. This is no cheap soap opera."
Double Trouble scowled in return. "There's nothing cheap about interpersonal drama! The tension! The emotions! You should know best how that can influence wars."
Adora drew a sharp breath. They had gone there. She glanced at Catra.
Catra scoffed. "And if we were trying to work with Ba'al or trusted him, and he were like you, you might have a point. But we aren't and he isn't." She leaned forward. "You should know best how devastating it can be when you suddenly discover in the middle of a battle that your allies don't have your back."
Double Trouble recoiled but recovered. "You're the Princess Alliance! We have a deal!"
"Yes, we do. So stop trying to make us break it or we will," Glimmer said.
"Would you really be so petty as to abandon the best hope of saving all those people over some teasing?" Double Trouble looked around with a tight smile.
Catra shrugged pointedly. "If you can't control yourself you can't be trusted to pull this off anyway."
Adora caught Double Trouble glancing at her and nodded.
Double Trouble's scowl deepened, but they slouched in their chair and crossed their arms over their chest. "You all need to loosen up!"
Adora took that as agreement to stop the petty needling and started the briefing.
*****
Deep Space, Ba'al's Realm, August 11th, 2000 (Earth Time)
As she had expected, Samantha Carter found the General doing the pre-flight check of the stealth shuttle the team would be taking for the infiltration mission. "Sir."
"Carter!" He straightened from where he had been bent down to inspect the undercarriage. "You're early."
She was aware of that - she had planned on it. "Just making sure everything is ready," she lied. "This is an important mission."
"Yes." He nodded, then looked towards the hangar entrance. "I hope our latest volunteer won't be too difficult."
Sam nodded. That they would be difficult was clear as day; the only question was how much trouble they would cause.
"And I hope they will pick another form. Having two of you around gets confusing," he added after a moment, cocking his head to look at her.
She nodded a bit too firmly. "The last thing we need on a mission is confusion."
"Right." He nodded curtly.
For a moment, it looked like he was about to say something else, but he didn't.
Sam wasn't quite sure if she was relieved or disappointed. But they had an understanding. "I'll go set up, sir," she said, and entered the shuttle. She needed to be prepared for their insertion - the target system had a lot more potential threats than any system they had infiltrated before. Sure, none of the Death Gliders' sensors could detect an Alliance stealth shuttle - they had not detected the spy bots surrounding them either - but there was always blind luck.
And Sam wasn't in the habit of leaving things to luck. Not when she could help it.
*****
"So, that's the stealth shuttle!" Double Trouble had not changed forms, Sam noticed while she tried not to scowl. "Able to fly up right to an enemy flagship and dock with them being none the wiser! A ship after my taste!"
Sam pressed her lips together to avoid blurting out her first thought.
"You won't get one," Glimmer said it out loud. "They are reserved for Alliance special operations."
Sam expected the General to add: "And for my commute!", but he merely nodded with a tight-lipped expression.
"Aw! But they are made for me! Can they change shape as well? Or just transponders?" Double Trouble mock-whined in a way that Sam would never.
"We're going onto a dangerous mission," the General spoke up. "The danger of friendly fire is always present in such situations, and we can't afford any potential confusion. So, pick another shape to wear, Double Trouble. One we can't mistake for one of our own:"
"Really? You of all people think you would confuse me and Sam-Darling here?" Double Trouble laughed and stepped next to Sam before she could react. They tried to wrap an arm around Sam's shoulders, but she blocked them.
"See?" Double Trouble grinned and stepped in front of the General. "She's the grumpy, unapproachable one. I'm the friendly one!"
Sam imagined a little friendly fire right now. Using a taser. The General looked like he was imagining a little friendly fire with a flamethrower.
"Double Trouble!" Adora snapped. "Stop it!"
"Change into your usual form," Catra said. "We wouldn't want to mistake you for someone else that Ba'al cloned. After all, his forces have met all of us before, and we don't know what he's been up to."
Double Trouble narrowed her eyes and scowled - Sam made a note to check if she ever looked like that - before snorting. "And you'd shoot first and ask questions later, huh?"
Catra shrugged and bared her teeth in a wide grin. "With a zat, we can just stun people and wake them up later."
"It might be less trouble for the team if we would stun the shapeshifter before departure and wake them up once we have secured Ba'al, Supreme Commander. I could carry them without much trouble," Teal'c commented with such a perfectly bland expression, Sam would not have realised he wasn't serious, at least not entirely so, if she hadn't known him as well as she did.
"What?" Double Trouble gasped at him, then looked at the others.
Adora blinked, Catra's grin grew even wider - Sam didn't have to look at Melog to confirm she was amused - and Glimmer looked smug. Even Bow seemed to struggle not to smile.
Sam caught herself grinning as well.
Double Trouble muttered a curse under their breath and shifted into their lizard-like form. "I wonder how you think you can win this war when you can't even handle a little chaos in your schedule."
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the General asked with a satisfied grin as everyone boarded the shuttle.
*****