Tandem the Spoony's Next Adventure [F/SN x CM(D&D)]

[Pipeman]

[X] Lancer's probably ready for Round 2; let's give it to him

 

[Malcolmo]

[X] Lancer's probably ready for Round 2; let's give it to him.

 

[Alexander]

[X] Lancer's probably ready for Round 2; let's give it to him

Aaand Tandem proves again why he is awesome: he can make everyone happy, even a (pseudo)villain.

Shinji can be talented as hell, but remember the spellbook doesn't say how all the spells to Sixth Circle works, only what they do. This seems like it can bite us in the ass later, but with Tandem's Luck I am willing to bet the ones to be bitten will be Rin and Archer. Oh yes, without doubts Shinji will want to try his new magic. I hope you catch my hints.

We have Rider as an ally now, let's milk it for all we are worth and kick Lancer's ass while it's fresh.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

Shinji can be talented as hell, but remember the spellbook doesn't say how all the spells to Sixth Circle works, only what they do. This seems like it can bite us in the ass later, but with Tandem's Luck I am willing to bet the ones to be bitten will be Rin and Archer. Oh yes, without doubts Shinji will want to try his new magic. I hope you catch my hints.

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It's still a spellbook, and has a fair amount of actual spells in there; things like Sleep, Fireball, Lightning Bolt, you know, the sort of spells that you'd use for an advertisement to get someone to be a wizard. It just doesn't have the incantation for things like Dimensional Anchor, Gaseous Form, or more esoteric things like that. In fact, even in terms of the spells not fully in there it's not that bad off; more often than not their's a fair bit of the incantation in it or enough for someone really skilled in the Arcane Arts to figure it out.

It's just that Tandem is both not that skilled in the Arts, and doesn't really care enough to try and work out the rest. It's basically a spellbook in every way that matters.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Say, Ender? 's it cool if I mention this quest in the Spoony thread on tvtropes? Be nice to give the guys something to discuss that isn't "Oh Dear What's Our Boy Gone And Said Now?"

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Oh man.

Wait until Shinji learns Charm Person/Dominate Person. He's not Tandem and therefore not having nearly as high a Caster Level as the epic spirit, but he's apparently very talented. So magi are....PROBABLY off the table. Everyone else, whoo boy.

 

[Alexander]

Oh man.

Wait until Shinji learns Charm Person/Dominate Person. He's not Tandem and therefore not having nearly as high a Caster Level as the epic spirit, but he's apparently very talented. So magi are....PROBABLY off the table. Everyone else, whoo boy.

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So we gave the maniac with pretty loose morals (Chaotic Neutral and all that) some pretty interesting toys. A maniac who was considered a failure at magic by anyone else.

Like a certain twin-tailed tsundere...

On another note: D&D magic suffers from the same limitations of Nasu magecraft (the more people know the less effective a mystery is)? Because if not...well, we just planted a seed that can broke the system.

 

[Biigoh]

Breaking system is good!

 

[Vindictus]

So we gave the maniac with pretty loose morals (Chaotic Neutral and all that) some pretty interesting toys. A maniac who was considered a failure at magic by anyone else.

Like a certain twin-tailed tsundere...

On another note: D&D magic suffers from the same limitations of Nasu magecraft (the more people know the less effective a mystery is)? Because if not...well, we just planted a seed that can broke the system.

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As far as I know, DnD magic can be learned by anyone who takes the time to learn it. It doesn't really have a 'Mystery' component at all.

And yeah, this is going to break everything.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

Say, Ender? 's it cool if I mention this quest in the Spoony thread on tvtropes? Be nice to give the guys something to discuss that isn't "Oh Dear What's Our Boy Gone And Said Now?"

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Sure; I don't mind. Do whatever you want.

As far as I know, DnD magic can be learned by anyone who takes the time to learn it. It doesn't really have a 'Mystery' component at all.

And yeah, this is going to break everything.

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This is correct; D&D works on the Vanacian System, all you need to do magic is be smart enough to memorize and understand the incantations, a spellbook with the incantations (or feats to negate this), time to prep the spells beforehand; and you're all set to rain fiery death on some motherfuckers. Granted, if you're not smart you'll have some issues; but given how D&D is typically in a medieval setting, I'd say your average high-schooler has the potential to at least be an average wizard.

 

[Biigoh]

That DOES say a lot about Shinji, doesn't it? :3

 

[Cherry Lover]

Shinji is actually supposedly quite smart. In fact, he's good at basically everything but Nasuverse magic. It's just unfortunate that that's the one thing he actually wanted....

 

[Vindictus]

Shinji is actually supposedly quite smart. In fact, he's good at basically everything but Nasuverse magic. It's just unfortunate that that's the one thing he actually wanted....

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And now? He has the magic. HE DOES THE THINGS.

Wait for it, soon enough we'll see Shinji abusing loopholes in his new system, taking apprentices, and sparking GLORIOUS REVOLUTION among magi-kind!

 

[Ardion Prosili]

And now? He has the magic. HE DOES THE THINGS.

Wait for it, soon enough we'll see Shinji abusing loopholes in his new system, taking apprentices, and sparking GLORIOUS REVOLUTION among magi-kind!

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in b4 'heroic' spirit Shinji for being Hero of the Magical Revolution.

 

[Biigoh]

Caster is Heroic Spirit SHINJI from the FUTURE?

 

[MrGazzer]

Caster is Heroic Spirit SHINJI from the FUTURE?

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It's so...perfect.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

Well, you already pissed off the fucker and he's looking for blood; might as well appease him. You then announce your plan to the rest of the party, "Alright guys; it's time to kill Lancer. I'm gonna call him out and we're gonna duke it out in the graveyard by the church. Now before we do this, we should all make sure we're at peak fighting form. Now, if for some reason you're not; speak up and we'll handle it. Shirou?"

"I'm ok; I don't think I can help out much, but I can fight." He looks somewhat disappointed that he can't really help out much, so you decide to cheer him up a bit.

"Hey kid, cheer up; you still got those Command Seals. If I'm a hurtin' you can pop one on a command and change the tide of battle; like going 'Get better, Tandem!' or 'Survive the battle, Tandem'. You know, stuff like that. Having three 'get out of jail free' cards is a big deal, so don't say you're useless alright?"

You then turn to Rider, "Rider, how about you? You in fighting form?"

She answers back, "My master cannot provide me with sufficient problem, so I cannot use my Noble Phantasms or fight at full power."

Uh-oh, that's a problem; and in hindsight probably understandable given how quickly Shinji jumped onto the 'lean magic' train. He's probably in a similar situation to Shirou, which means a faulty connection that doesn't provide much. Well fuck, here's hoping you can fix this..

"Anything we can do to fix that? Or at least make it not as bad?"

"I can draw prana from people from their blood, or drain their souls outright for sustenance. However, even if I don't kill them; doing so would heavily tax the victim's body." Yeah, no. No killing innocents and eating their souls. And even then, having a beat-up bystander isn't exactly subtle. It's not like you have someone on hand to...just...

"Hold on a second, I have an idea. Shirou, get over here. Rider; I think you know what to do. Just don't kill him."

"W-wait. Tandem, Tandem what are you doing? Rider? Why are you getting closer? Wait; what's with the chain?! Why are you holding me down?! Hold on, don't I get a say in this?!?! Aren't you even going to explain what's going on?! Heeeelp! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-"


After an hour of Rider drinking Shirou's blood; and oh dear God was that fucking hot, and you casting Cure Light Wounds so the cycle can repeat itself; you turn to Shirou and ask, "You alright, pal?"

Pale and sickly, he turns to you and with a glare says, "My body is trying to die, and I feel violated. No thanks to you, jackass..."

"Hey, c'mon; you took one for the team, and it's not like there was any other way for us to help Rider out. Unless you wanted to kill innocent civillians, cause I don't."

Shriou sighs, "Yeah, I know. I still don't like it and I feel like crap."

"Yeah, that should pass in an hour or so; I used the same trick to barter with a vampire lord once. Anyways," you turn to Rider, who looks rather content and satisfied, "You feeling better?"

"Yes, this should last me for awhile; and I can use my Noble Phantasm if needed. So, how will we 'call Lancer out'?" She looks at you expectantly, as if testing you.

"Well Rider, watch and learn..." You pull out your scrying mirror and begin to scry for Lancer. Once you ping onto him, you cast both Legend Lore and Message through the mirror and probe watching him. Since Legend Lore was rather time consuming; you resorted to using the advanced version of the scrying spell, but once your spell ran it's course and you learned his legend, you were now ready to call him out.

So you yell into the mirror, "Hey, Ireland's bitch! Remember me? The guy who took your depth perception? Yeah, you ready for Round 2; or does the good little doggy need to ask his Master for permission to go out and die first?"

Oh man you don't think you've ever seen someone get that pissed off before; man his eyes are bugging out and you can see his veins just throbbing. You hear him grit his teeth and utter out, "You...oh you stupid little fucker. You really wanna do this, huh? Well, I guess you have some honor in you; even if you're just running to an early grave."

You scoff loudly enough for him to hear and mock him some more. "Pfft, I can take you; you need a goddamn magic spear to actually hit someone, and even then you fuck up. Or did you intentionally want to impale your son with your long shaft with throbbing red veins; cause if you roll like that, that's totally your decision. Just know that I don't reciprocate those feelings."

Ooh, you can see his eye twitching now; "You just don't know when to shut up, do you? It's like you're too stupid to live."

"Uh-huh, big words from the guy who made so many promises that he couldn't help but break them all. Hey, if I asked you to make a Geas to be my bitch; would you actually take it up? Because from what I've heard of you, you probably would and then say, 'Thank you sir, may I have another?'. Not to mention that your aim's still so fucking horrible that you need your spear to do it for you. And even then it's a bitch and still fucks up. I mean, that's what happened to Ferdiand. And Connla. Crap man, it's like every time you enter a big-ass fight you have to have your spear kill someone you didn't want to die."

"Oh, and you're still missing an eye and cried like a bitch to Glitterdust. It's not even a fair fight, dude. Look, I'll use my left hand and tie my right behind my back; does that sound fair to you?"

Dead silence, you can see the palpable fury emanating from him, but he says nothing. Finally he utters out, "Where? And when? Because I want to know what time I need to get my Master, so he can paint the look of agony on your face when I'm through with you; as you're begging for mercy and the sweet release of death. Or so he can get someone else to paint it, it doesn't matter who; just so long as I can immortalize the moment where you're shitting yourself in fear at the point of my spear."

You name the time and place, "The graveyard. Two hours. Plenty of time to go and get laid by a woman; because god knows you've probably forgotten what it's like, what with living with a Catholic priest and all. Also enough time to run like a pussy, wouldn't blame you; who knows what I'll end up taking next. Well, ciao." You cut off the spell, satisfied with the challenge.

Now, two hours to plan; might as well get to it:
[X] Plan for the epic showdown
-- [X] Have Rider interfere? Y/N? If so, how?

Note: Since it was brought up in the Idea thread; I go for the low hanging fruit because Tandem's the kind of guy to do so. Also, character sheet's on the front page; so use that to help plan out how you're gonna fight Lancer.

 

[FurikoMaru]

Note: Since it was brought up in the Idea thread; I go for the low hanging fruit because Tandem's the kind of guy to do so. Also, character sheet's on the front page; so use that to help plan out how you're gonna fight Lancer.

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Totally understandable.

 

[Fellgar]

Wow. Lancer is pissed, I'll tell you now. I wouldn't mind Lancer Killing Spoony at this point.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

Wow. Lancer is pissed, I'll tell you now. I wouldn't mind Lancer Killing Spoony at this point.

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Can I ask why? While Tandem was kinda a prick, I felt it was IC for him as well as a sort of 'defense mechanism' for him to cope with fighting against someone who outclasses him by a fair bit.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Wow. Well that was Spoony at his more acebic moments and damn has he earned Lancer's seething hatred at this point. I mean shit, he danced a jig on Cu's failures and pains and then spit on him. Cu would have been ready for anything after the first exchange, but then Tandem kept going and going and GOING. The only possible way Cu could have pissed Lancer off more was to taunt him about getting his real Master killed.

We better hope like all hell no one else joins this party.

We're not fighting battle happy Lancer here. Lancer wants our ass dead multiple times over. I'll bet he goes all out on Rune Magic here too. He doesn't normally, but fuck if we haven't pissed him off just that much. So he'll make sure we can't run away. Maybe even fight dirty, or be ready to. He knows we will and he's probably willing to go tit-for-tat now.

Shit man. We are in for a muuuuuuch tougher fight than I expected.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Okay. I have an idea. I'm not entirely sure how to go about getting what we need, but if we pass a Rumor check and get our hands on a sword, we cannot lose to Cu.

Get our hand on Fergus' sword somehow. Possibly by a Wish, but that's...kinda asking for trouble. Or try to have Rumor convince the world we're a descendent of Fergus and wield Kaladbolg.

Pass the check, and Cu is honor-bound to lose to us. Now, this can be circumvented if Cu is willing to work that way. Surrender, leave, come back, et cetera. So if we have him make an oath or geas to fight, and THEN pull this on him, he has to break a geas to leave and is weakened.

This is pretty much pure dirty cheating bastard douchebag trickery, but if it works....

 

[Selias]

Or try to have Rumor convince the world we're a descendent of Fergus and wield Kaladbolg.

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I don't think that's how rumor works.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

I don't think that's how rumor works.

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It says right in the description we can claim we're King of the World and everyone will acknowledge us as such if we pass the check. Rumor to Reality.

If we can do that, I don't see why we can't do this.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

It says right in the description we can claim we're King of the World and everyone will acknowledge us as such if we pass the check. Rumor to Reality.

If we can do that, I don't see why we can't do this.

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It can't give you the sword though. As as I said before; it only affects you, it can change others: be they person or weapon. And you'd throw away the 'Greatest Swordsman in the World' buff you currently have.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

It can't give you the sword though. As as I said before; it only affects you, it can change others: be they person or weapon. And you'd throw away the 'Greatest Swordsman in the World' buff you currently have.

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I'm aware we'd throw away the title and that it can't turn our sword in Kaladbolg.

But I DID figure we could convince Cu that it is Kaladbolg. Bluff becomes real? If Cu believes we're a descendent of Ulster and that we're wielding Kaladbolg, wouldn't that be close enough? Taking a bluff, a falsehood, and making it real?

I'd fully expect Cu to go, "You're not his descendent and...yet you are...and that's not Kaladbolg! Except it is?

"What is this? How is this possible?! You....I am going to KILL YOU, geas or not!"

But, Cu believing Kaladbolg to be in our hand means his geas fucks him.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

I'm aware we'd throw away the title and that it can't turn our sword in Kaladbolg.

But I DID figure we could convince Cu that it is Kaladbolg. Bluff becomes real? If Cu believes we're a descendent of Ulster and that we're wielding Kaladbolg, wouldn't that be close enough? Taking a bluff, a falsehood, and making it real?

I'd fully expect Cu to go, "You're not his descendent and...yet you are...and that's not Kaladbolg! Except it is?

"What is this? How is this possible?! You....I am going to KILL YOU, geas or not!"

But, Cu believing Kaladbolg to be in our hand means his geas fucks him.

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It'd be pretty steep, but if it works then yes; that's what would happen. But if it fails, well; I don't think I need to say what happens...

It funny and unintentional on my part; but I seem to be putting you in situations where Tandem makes it harder for one of his Noble Phantasms to work. Though you do still have Defiance of Fate online and ready to use too...

Edit: To show the odds; to pull off the 'Greatest Swordsman in the World' bluff, you have to roll around at least 80 and you get a +70 to the roll (50 from luck, 10 from charisma, 10 from the 'standard feat'.

For what you want, you have to roll 1d100-20 and try to get at least 80. You get the same plus modifiers (60 from luck and charisma), but because of the situation you'd be in with Cu you get a negative modifier (-80 from his sheer fury and hatred at you). You might be able to drop it to -10 tops with a really good write-in for the boast.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

It'd be pretty steep, but if it works then yes; that's what would happen. But if it fails, well; I don't think I need to say what happens...

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That's about what I thought, yes. Pass, Cu loses. Fail, we are fucked up the ass by his thorny rod. Probably be a much easier check to pass if we had Kaldbolg on hand, but we're not allied with EMIYA and using a Wish for this seems unwise.

Could try lesser from Defiance of Fate, odds are in our favor to break even on boosted stats or improve. Kojiro skills + stats definitely evens the playing field a lot. Shame we burned most of our upper spells.

 

[EnderofWorlds]

That's about what I thought, yes. Pass, Cu loses. Fail, we are fucked up the ass by his thorny rod. Probably be a much easier check to pass if we had Kaldbolg on hand, but we're not allied with EMIYA and using a Wish for this seems unwise.

Could try lesser from Defiance of Fate, odds are in our favor to break even on boosted stats or improve. Kojiro skills + stats definitely evens the playing field a lot. Shame we burned most of our upper spells.

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You've used all your 5th level spells, three 1st level spells, and one 6th level spell. Oh, and Mage Hand. That's it.

Ironically, you have Geas as a 6th level spell; though it'd be kinda hard to pull off.

Edit: On Defiance of Fate, yeah you can use that for the fight if you want. Just say when and I'll roll the 1d4.

 

[Hymn of Ragnarok]

Edit: To show the odds; to pull off the 'Greatest Swordsman in the World' bluff, you have to roll around at least 80 and you get a +70 to the roll (50 from luck, 10 from charisma, 10 from the 'standard feat'.

For what you want, you have to roll 1d100-20 and try to get at least 80. You get the same plus modifiers (60 from luck and charisma), but because of the situation you'd be in with Cu you get a negative modifier (-80 from his sheer fury and hatred at you). You might be able to drop it to -10 tops with a really good write-in for the boast.

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Hang on, you mean drop Cu's penalty from -80 to -10, or drop the penalty from 1d100-20 to 1d100-10? And I assume not getting the 'standard feat' applied to the Fergus boast is intentional.

Still, wow, those are some extremely steep odds.

You've used all your 5th level spells, three 1st level spells, and one 6th level spell. Oh, and Mage Hand. That's it.

Ironically, you have Geas as a 6th level spell; though it'd be kinda hard to pull off.

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It would be deliciously ironic to use on him, but doesn't seem terribly worthwhile. Could be fun to use on Shinji though, in the name of solidifying the alliance.

Man we're really pissing people of left and right.