You aren't as reflexively on the ball as normal, but it only takes you a couple of moments of wishing you were dead to hit the proper bombatic beat again.
"Don't think that I don't know what you're up to! I'm on to you..." you say, pointing your finger accusingly.
"Oh?" Kabuto replies, placidly.
"You can't fool me." you huff.
"Of course, of course. You've completely figured me out." Kabuto says, agreeably starting to pat your head.
He moves it away again though, not actually wanting to touch the remaining mess, and instead casually shrugs at a passing nurse, who titters a little bit at the byplay.
"Th-that's right!" you say, not liking the way you're being treated as a child. "But I'll bite anyway. You want my help, and I'll get your help."
"If you're having trouble with something, I'd be happy to lend a hand...?" Kabuto says, in an affected air of bafflement so patently false it makes your teeth hurt slightly. You can't imagine why people are buying into his nice-guy schtick.
"And you're buying me dinner." you quickly add on to the deal.
"Uh... Hold on, that's a little..." Kabuto says, starting to look uncomfortable with the way this conversation is going.
"It's a deal, no backsies!" you declare, in a confident manner. "We'll eat at Yakiniku Q. Meet me there once I've made myself presentable."
"Now you're going a little far..." Kabuto starts to object.
"If you say no, I'll burn down your house." you threaten, voice pitched in a low whisper that doesn't carry any further than his ears.
Kabuto stares and slowly swallows. There's probably something in your face, or the rapid and glinting spin of your red eyes that suggests to him that you'll go through with it.
There's a little bit more of a bounce to your step as you leave to go get cleaned up.
...
It's not unexpected, so you aren't surprised when someone starts beating on your door in the middle of your bath. Obviously, the old farts have their own plans for things to do with your...
You make a disgusted face as you edit your thoughts.
They have a breeding agenda, you mean, and have their own plans for your romantic future. All they can agree on is that you should keep it in the clan, though. So, since you're being spied on by brown-nosing suck-ups, the old men are quickly getting informed that someone is completely willingly and of their own volition buying you dinner, with hardly any coercion or death threats at all.
You towel dry as one or another of the crotchety old men beats at your door with a cane.
---
[ ] Put on clothes. Answer door. Kick old man. Fite me. You can take him, you bet. Maybe whoever he has with him, too.
[ ] Go out the bathroom window, using false coils and shunshin. A glorious golden streak across the rooftops.