Walk on the Moon (Naruto SI)

[Meneldur]

It wasn't because she had a sister complex or anything (no matter what Sakura sometimes tried to tease her about) but rather because Rei was a lot of things to her that the siblings of other kids simply were not. Rei had always been more than just simply a sister to her.

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You know what's really interesting here? Ino is actually very observant and discerning here, even though she's often completely wrong and hilariously biased. I think we tend to forget this, but they're all ninjas, and Ino is after all a Yamanaka, a clan that specializes in information gathering, psychology and interrogation. Her having the skill and ability to observe her sister's interactions and personality makes a lot of sense, especially if her parents mentor her and encourage it.
Of course, the wonderful part is that she's still a kid who is far too close to her target to be impartial about her, so her observations often seem ridiculous. But if we didn't know what we did about Rei, I think they'd seem far more reasonable. A great example of this is the above sentence. "Rei had always been more than just simply a sister to her" - sounds exactly like what someone with a sister complex would say. But Ino actually coherently explains why Rei's status as clan heir and prodigy makes this statement true, so it doesn't necessarily conflict with her "It wasn't because she had a sister complex or anything ". So there's the Yamanaka ninja aspect of it, perhaps. But because Ino is still only a child, she does completely invalidate her claim with her other feelings and beliefs. I really like this complexity.

. Rei needed someone with a healthy dose of common sense and their feet firmly on the ground

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It's wonderful that out of all the people in Naruto, Ino thinks she's this. And here's the dichotomy of Ino's observations towards her sister - on the one hand she's absolutely right, on the other she doesn't realize how far she is from the person she's describing.

No one knew her Nee-chan like she did, and no one could help her in the way only she realistically could.

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This is again somewhat true, but also completely wrong. What's interesting is that Hinata has superseded Ino in this regard, and Ino seems to be at least slightly aware of that (even as shes in deep denial over it), which explains much of her antipathy towards Hinata.

No doubt she was stalking Nee-chan with those creepy eyes of hers and wants to 'accidentally' bump into us and hog Nee-chan all to herself.

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I wonder about this, because I don't think Hinata is enough of a yandere to do this, but honestly, the Byakugan is just so perfect for it, and she did sort of do it with Naruto in canon.

Hinata would just sort of... go cold when she sparred now. Almost like she somehow lost all personality and became empty inside. In those moments Hinata somewhat reminded Sakura of a dead fish. Hinata had also become a lot less... careful about injuring her sparring partners. While she didn't seem to go out of her way to hurt anyone, she had also become a lot less careful about holding back when she saw an opening she could exploit.

Frankly, it was a little scary to spar against. The girl was still perfectly nice and polite after a fight though, if somehow a bit more confident than before. The fact that Hinata had shot up in the class rankings recently to make the top ten might have had something to do with that as well.

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That's very interesting. I really want to see more of Hinata now, whether from Rei's PoV, or even Hinata's PoV herself. I want to know more about Hinata's state of mind here, and why she seems to be only a but more confident when she's not fighting. You'd think Hiashi would want Rei to train Hinata in more than just fighting (which he himself does, given Rei doesn't know Jyuken) or even in her attitude towards fighting. You'd think Hiashi wants Hinata's whole attitude to change, but it mostly seems like she's exactly the same, only better and more willing to fight and a bit more confident. Admittedly, Rei never broke her, and indeed, Rei was comforted by Hinata's personality, but still... I guess the Yamato Nadeshiko/Oujo Sama personality type isn't a bad one for a clan heiress. I'm surprised she's only recently in the top ten, though, and not battling against Sasuke for first place - you'd think that's what Hiashi would want, and I'd like to think Hinata could beat Sasuke at taijutsu, while Rei could definitely train her to have a mastery in the basic jutsus.

In her mind, doing her best to socially alienate and isolate the Hyuuga heiress at school was just the girl getting her just deserts. Not like it had been that hard. Even if you're the heiress of the biggest clan in the village, no one is going to take your side if you don't make any move to stand up for yourself. Making Hinata's life as miserable as possible was just another way that Ino was protecting her sister. After all, the lower her standing in the eyes of everyone, the less damage she would be able to do in the long term. Right?

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Again, it's interesting Hiashi would allow for this, and supports my previous words about Hinata not actually changing that much. She's still not socializing, still not really in clan heiress mode. I find it hard to believe Hiashi doesn't know, in fact. At the same time, I fully believe Rei has no idea, because why would she care to find out, and why would Hinata tell her? But I am wondering what HIashi thinks about this. Maybe he thinks it's Rei's way of trying to train Hinata - setting her sister against Hinata to challenge Hinata, so he's not interfering?

in all of it's perfectly tailored glory

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its

"Because it will spear any girl who sees it right through the heart?"

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"That's a sharp outfit, Rei. So sharp it could pierce the hull of a battleship, leaving hundreds to drown at sea!"
Sakura's reaction here was absolutely hilarious, and I completely disagree with Ino - I want Hinata to see Rei in this outfit, it promises to be epic.
Also, I imagine it to be something like this:

Spoiler: Images

But no, you need a certain balance of self-confidence, obsession and delusional thinking to be a true Yandere. Hinata is lacking in at least two of those categories at the moment.

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I'm assuming you mean the delusional thinking and obsession... I really hope Hinata has the self-confidence by now (at least in regards to her relationship with Rei), and isn't obsessed with Rei. Hinata and Rei's relationship is something I love in this story, and I've mentioned it several times already, that it's amazing to me how two broken people manage to help each other heal so much.

 

[SixPerfections]

That's very interesting. I really want to see more of Hinata now, whether from Rei's PoV, or even Hinata's PoV herself. I want to know more about Hinata's state of mind here, and why she seems to be only a but more confident when she's not fighting. You'd think Hiashi would want Rei to train Hinata in more than just fighting (which he himself does, given Rei doesn't know Jyuken) or even in her attitude towards fighting. You'd think Hiashi wants Hinata's whole attitude to change, but it mostly seems like she's exactly the same, only better and more willing to fight and a bit more confident. Admittedly, Rei never broke her, and indeed, Rei was comforted by Hinata's personality, but still... I guess the Yamato Nadeshiko/Oujo Sama personality type isn't a bad one for a clan heiress. I'm surprised she's only recently in the top ten, though, and not battling against Sasuke for first place - you'd think that's what Hiashi would want, and I'd like to think Hinata could beat Sasuke at taijutsu, while Rei could definitely train her to have a mastery in the basic jutsus.

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Well, the way I see it years of chronically low self-esteem and low self-worth isn't too different from someone who has been suffering from years of severe depression. There isn't really a quick fix for Hinata's problems, and I don't think its realistic for her to just "flip a switch" and suddenly its like her years of abuse/crushing low self esteem just go away. Like chronic depression I see it as something that can be managed and controlled, and possibly eventually eliminated... but at the same time she'll always have to be vigilant because the specter of her chronic low self worth could pop its head up again at any point in her life if the conditions were right.

So, Hinata is a work in progress. I think of it this way: if after a year of treatment a person with severe depression is now getting good grades in school and has been making slow but steady gains in other parts of their life, I think most reasonable people would say the treatment was helping. Of course not everyone might see Hinata's progress as "good enough", but that is another can of worms altogether.

Again, it's interesting Hiashi would allow for this, and supports my previous words about Hinata not actually changing that much. She's still not socializing, still not really in clan heiress mode. I find it hard to believe Hiashi doesn't know, in fact. At the same time, I fully believe Rei has no idea, because why would she care to find out, and why would Hinata tell her? But I am wondering what HIashi thinks about this. Maybe he thinks it's Rei's way of trying to train Hinata - setting her sister against Hinata to challenge Hinata, so he's not interfering?

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Well, Hiashi did say he didn't expect Rei to work miracles when he first asked her to mentor Hinata. Plus at this point, we don't really know what has been going on behind the scenes. But yes, Hinata still clearly isn't up to the point of being an "ideal" heiress at this point.

I'm assuming you mean the delusional thinking and obsession... I really hope Hinata has the self-confidence by now (at least in regards to her relationship with Rei), and isn't obsessed with Rei. Hinata and Rei's relationship is something I love in this story, and I've mentioned it several times already, that it's amazing to me how two broken people manage to help each other heal so much.

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Self-confidence will probably be an issue Hinata will be dealing with for the rest of her life. How successfully she deals with it or not remains to be seen. Without going into too many spoilers, I wouldn't consider Hinata to be a person with a healthy sense of self-worth at this point in time. So maybe that means Hinata is lacking all three ingredients to be a successful Yandere?

 

[SolipsistSerpent]

Good to see more of this. It's hilarious how Ino is undermining her own goals without realizing it, while simultaneously advancing her sisters's. I guess she really is helping Rei.

I've tried to stay away from the Hinata and Rei relationship talk but since everybody and their brother is commenting, I see their relationship as definitely platonic now (which lines up with the author's statements). On the other hand, I expect that, in years to come, if Rei bothers with romance at all, Hinata would be towards the top of the list when it comes up far in the future. Her and Neji, for different reasons. We might see an even more vicious Hyuuga intra-clan rivalry than canon. Of course, whether or not they end up fighting over Rei's affections, those affections may not exist, as she is, in some ways, as Ino says, trying to turn herself into a machine that does Ninja things (an irony as a society that tries to do that to people is one of the things she hates).

Oh SixPerfections on Yandere... I'm not sure self-confidence is the right word. Yuuno Gasai is, in fact, horrifically insecure and struggles with feelings of low self-worth. But she channels that into action to over-compensate rather than moping.

EDIT:

Also, I imagine it to be something like this:

Spoiler: Images

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Mami's a good pick, since Rei does have Princess Curls.

 

[Blazinghand]

Oh man, a new update! It's funny how wrong Sakura is about Hinata, heh.

 

[RyubosJ]

Damn this is a fun read. Thanks for posting it here.

 

[Erebeal]

It's good to see this back!

Here's a sketch to celebrate. Any comments/notes on details etc. before I clean it up? (I seem to recall you not going with the weird lack of pupils thing that Ino has?)

Spoiler: Suit Rei WIP

 

[Meneldur]

Well, the way I see it years of chronically low self-esteem and low self-worth isn't too different from someone who has been suffering from years of severe depression. There isn't really a quick fix for Hinata's problems, and I don't think its realistic for her to just "flip a switch" and suddenly its like her years of abuse/crushing low self esteem just go away. Like chronic depression I see it as something that can be managed and controlled, and possibly eventually eliminated... but at the same time she'll always have to be vigilant because the specter of her chronic low self worth could pop its head up again at any point in her life if the conditions were right.

So, Hinata is a work in progress. I think of it this way: if after a year of treatment a person with severe depression is now getting good grades in school and has been making slow but steady gains in other parts of their life, I think most reasonable people would say the treatment was helping. Of course not everyone might see Hinata's progress as "good enough", but that is another can of worms altogether.

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That's a very interesting perspective on it, and a rather accurate one too, I feel. I was just thinking of it being a year later, and thinking how far Rei advanced in that time, and how much you can progress in that time. But Hinata has mental issues that hold her back, far more than 'physical' (that is, Taijutsu, Genjutsu, Ninjutsu). Even if Hinata manages to perform really well with Rei, maybe that's because Rei's mere presence encourages her, because she knows Rei doesn't expect more from her than her best effort. Maybe in the Academy she doesn't succeed as much, because mentally she's not in the same state. I can definitely see that when being trained by Hiashi, Hinata doesn't do as well when she trains with Rei, because of their different methods of training and feedback.

Well, Hiashi did say he didn't expect Rei to work miracles when he first asked her to mentor Hinata. Plus at this point, we don't really know what has been going on behind the scenes. But yes, Hinata still clearly isn't up to the point of being an "ideal" heiress at this point.

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That's a good point. We do know Hiashi wants Hinata to be up to scratch, and doesn't want to be forced to seal her and pass on heirship to Hanabi - because after all, that's why he got Rei to be her mentor. So Hiashi might be pleased that any progress is going on, under the assumption that Hinata will keep improving so that by the time she's Genin/Chounin she'll be up to scratch. After all, in canon she was never sealed/displaced as heir in the same situation. But at the same time, I can absolutely see the Hyuuga clan elders not being satisfied with Hinata's improvement, and maybe even suspecting Rei of trying to control Hinata - making her improve her ninja skills but not her clan heiress skills, and having Ino isolate her socially even more.

Oh SixPerfections on Yandere... I'm not sure self-confidence is the right word. Yuuno Gasai is, in fact, horrifically insecure and struggles with feelings of low self-worth. But she channels that into action to over-compensate rather than moping.

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This is actually a very good point I think should be noted. I don't think Hinata has the personality for any real Yandere-activity. She's too realistic to be delusional about the world and how it works - we saw that in the Forest of Death and her subsequent conversation with Rei. She knows the reality of what kind of relationship she could have with Rei, and which one she can't. She doesn't have the self-confidence to be absolutely certain of her right to have Rei, or her ability to do so, and I doubt that would change even as she gains more self-confidence. And she doesn't have the type of personality to channel her low self-worth into action - as SixPerfections notes above, with Hinata it seems to express itself as depression/stoicism rather than any call for action.

By the way, SixPerfections, I forgot to say how much I enjoyed this chapter, and how glad I am we can discuss this story in a forum format once more. Also, love your avatar, Cinder is really underappreciated.

 

[varoksa]

This is how i pictures Rei's eventual return to Konoha (because lets face it she will have to show up at least once to help out, her family still lives there just replace "Blood sugar daddy." with "Big Bad Sister"

 

[Schielman]

This is how i pictures Rei's eventual return to Konoha (because lets face it she will have to show up at least once to help out, her family still lives there just replace "Blood sugar daddy." with "Big Bad Sister"

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That's...surprisingly easy to envision. The only difference I can see would be that Rei wouldn't have the music. Other than that, I can totally see Rei doing something like that.

 

[ItsComplicated]

Friendly reminder that Rei has yet to kill a human in cold blood, and that despite her murderous impulses she acknowledged that she'd likely be emotionally affected by having to actually do it. She wasn't too happy about killing that boar, yet alone a person!
Of course her downwards spiral and the Omakes imply that her future is soaked in blood, but that could change.
#HappyEnding2020

 

[Kinruush]

I'd like to think Hinata could beat Sasuke at taijutsu, while Rei could definitely train her to have a mastery in the basic jutsus.

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Maybe, but, and my memory might be failing me, Hinata might be forbidden from using Gentle Fist at the academy. If she is, then being top 10 wouldn't be that bad. On the other hand, she's probably being compared to Neji, who was way, way better at her age, so just being "not that bad" may not be good enough.

 

[SixPerfections]

Good to see more of this. It's hilarious how Ino is undermining her own goals without realizing it, while simultaneously advancing her sisters's. I guess she really is helping Rei.

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Ah yes, the old "my plan horrifically backfired" scenario. Makes you wonder what Ino would do if she really knew what was going on between Rei and Hinata. I'm the author, and even I'm not 100% sure I know what Ino would do in that case. Maybe go "Wow. Ehhh. Okay. So... That was a thing. Also, Y U NO CONFIDE IN ME REI?"

I expect that, in years to come, if Rei bothers with romance at all, Hinata would be towards the top of the list when it comes up far in the future. Her and Neji, for different reasons. We might see an even more vicious Hyuuga intra-clan rivalry than canon.

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This would be a hilarious extra scene/Omake. Each one of them gathering members of their respective factions, dashing in secret through the darkness of night, engaging in a vicious shadow war of courting gifts and reciting romantic poetry while the opposite faction does everything in their power to stop them. In the end no one actually even really manages to court Rei and she is unaware of why things suddenly seem to keep exploding around her for no reason.

Oh SixPerfections on Yandere... I'm not sure self-confidence is the right word. Yuuno Gasai is, in fact, horrifically insecure and struggles with feelings of low self-worth. But she channels that into action to over-compensate rather than moping.

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Very good point. I guess the truth is that Hinata wouldn't really make for a very good Yandere. Her personality is not a great fit for that particular brand of crazy ATM. Still that doesn't mean that their relationship still can't be staggeringly unhealthy and destructively co-dependent! So, yay?

That's a good point. We do know Hiashi wants Hinata to be up to scratch, and doesn't want to be forced to seal her and pass on heirship to Hanabi - because after all, that's why he got Rei to be her mentor. So Hiashi might be pleased that any progress is going on, under the assumption that Hinata will keep improving so that by the time she's Genin/Chounin she'll be up to scratch. After all, in canon she was never sealed/displaced as heir in the same situation. But at the same time, I can absolutely see the Hyuuga clan elders not being satisfied with Hinata's improvement, and maybe even suspecting Rei of trying to control Hinata - making her improve her ninja skills but not her clan heiress skills, and having Ino isolate her socially even more.

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That's a good point, about Hinata never being sealed in canon. Then again I think we have to remember that it was never explicitly stated in canon that Hinata (or Hanabi for that matter) being sealed was a real problem/danger at all.

Of course, if we extrapolate from the story of Hiashi and Hizashi then of course we're going to assume that one of the sisters would eventually have to be sealed, unless the Hyuuga have some inexplicable hatred of twins for some reason. However the reason I think neither Hinata nor Hanabi were ever sealed in canon was because frankly, it would just be too dark for Kishimoto's "Konoha are the good guys and the Elemental Nations somehow aren't a shithole yay!" narrative that he tried to portray.

I guess what I'm trying to say that if Kishimoto had bothered about internal consistency at all then one of the two sisters should have gotten sealed in canon. My guess is it would have been Hinata. After all her sister was by all accounts a much better candidate than her.

As to the elders and the Ino situation... I think this situation is a little less Harry Potter fanon where kids at Hogwarts are expected to be deep political masterminds and more 'kids will be kids'. My take is they mostly would just be concerned with her demonstrable performance at this point. Excuses like "the sister of the Yamanaka clan heir is bullying me" would be met with... I'm going to go with 'negative sympathy'.

This is how i pictures Rei's eventual return to Konoha (because lets face it she will have to show up at least once to help out, her family still lives there just replace "Blood sugar daddy." with "Big Bad Sister

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The song doesn't quite work for her. By that point she needs to have come up with/found a justsu that will let her blare heavy metal from her memories for everyone to enjoy. You can't reach absolute maximum shonen hype fighting without an electric guitar absolutely shredding it (IMO anyway).

Friendly reminder that Rei has yet to kill a human in cold blood, and that despite her murderous impulses she acknowledged that she'd likely be emotionally affected by having to actually do it. She wasn't too happy about killing that boar, yet alone a person!

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Yet everyone in every thread seems to accept she's a vicious, violent, extremely strong and incredibly dangerous. How did Rei achieve this kind of notoriety without having done that much to earn it?

Simple. Rei's secret superpower is to be extremely Chuuni and somehow make everyone believe it

Maybe, but, and my memory might be failing me, Hinata might be forbidden from using Gentle Fist at the academy. If she is, then being top 10 wouldn't be that bad. On the other hand, she's probably being compared to Neji, who was way, way better at her age, so just being "not that bad" may not be good enough.

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I don't think I mentioned it explicitly, but for the purposes of this story Hyuuga are "strongly discouraged" from using the Gentle Fist during academy spars.

It's good to see this back!

Here's a sketch to celebrate. Any comments/notes on details etc. before I clean it up? (I seem to recall you not going with the weird lack of pupils thing that Ino has?)

Spoiler: Suit Rei WIP

undefined

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Whoot! Thank you for the fan art! I'm always extremely flattered when someone decides to make some of my stories.

That said if you want some constructive criticism then the only thing I think needs real work are the body proportions. You can look it up, but generally speaking the length of the body and of the legs should be about equal. Also the head is a bit too large for the body as-is, making her look more like a young child than a girl who has started puberty.

 

[Grigori]

Of course, if we extrapolate from the story of Hiashi and Hizashi then of course we're going to assume that one of the sisters would eventually have to be sealed, unless the Hyuuga have some inexplicable hatred of twins for some reason. However the reason I think neither Hinata nor Hanabi were ever sealed in canon was because frankly, it would just be too dark for Kishimoto's "Konoha are the good guys and the Elemental Nations somehow aren't a shithole yay!" narrative that he tried to portray.

I guess what I'm trying to say that if Kishimoto had bothered about internal consistency at all the one of the two sisters should have gotten sealed in canon. My guess is it would have been Hinata. After all her sister was by all accounts a much better candidate than her.

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I saw it as line of succession being more contentious with twins. Who has the proper claim's more clear when there's years in between, or is at least easier to put off as a later concern. Even if the non-inheriting twin is fine with being outside the line of success, they could still make for a decent political tool in an attempt to undermine the heir and the Hyuuga seem to place a lot of value on stability.

A younger sibling could also be used to incite political instability but they aren't as ever present/immediate a concern.

 

[Breadnaught]

Well, the way I see it years of chronically low self-esteem and low self-worth isn't too different from someone who has been suffering from years of severe depression. There isn't really a quick fix for Hinata's problems, and I don't think its realistic for her to just "flip a switch" and suddenly its like her years of abuse/crushing low self esteem just go away. Like chronic depression I see it as something that can be managed and controlled, and possibly eventually eliminated... but at the same time she'll always have to be vigilant because the specter of her chronic low self worth could pop its head up again at any point in her life if the conditions were right.

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On the other hand, Hinata is still young enough that, with a little support and positive changes in her environment, she could totally shrug off any long terms effects.

Kids are resilient as fuck.

... alas, her home environment is unlikely to change and her 'emotional support' is a girl barely clinging onto her own sanity by her finger tips. Hard luck Hinata.

if we extrapolate from the story of Hiashi and Hizashi then of course we're going to assume that one of the sisters would eventually have to be sealed, unless the Hyuuga have some inexplicable hatred of twins for some reason.

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It actually might have been because they were twins.

Anyone that's read a history book can attest that unclear or contested lines of succession will ruin your fucking day. Two boys, born at the same time, each with a solid argument for succession could inflict massive amounts of damage, unless significant actions were taken to establish one as the legitimate heir over the other.

 

[Morat136]

I guess what I'm trying to say that if Kishimoto had bothered about internal consistency at all then one of the two sisters should have gotten sealed in canon. My guess is it would have been Hinata. After all her sister was by all accounts a much better candidate than her.

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I would assume that a Hyuuga born into the main family would only be sealed once they marry, since that would be the point where they officially leave the main family. Why would they get sealed any earlier? I mean, if the point of the seal was actually to protect the bloodline, then sure, they'd all be sealed as children, but the actual point is clearly to maintain the dominance of the main branch of the family. Putting slave seals on children who are still part of the main branch and therefore whose successes or failures still reflect on the honor of the main branch would just get in the way of that. Especially with the conditions you've established in this story, where one of the restrictions the Hyuuga place on their sealed members is a limitation on what Jutsu they're permitted to learn.

What if you sealed Hinabi as soon as Hinata became the official head of the clan, then Hinata dies and Hinabi has to take over? You don't want a leader with a slave seal on their forehead, and the whole point of the seal even existing is that it can't be removed. So they need to be at least somewhat cautious about how far up the line of succession they go with the seals.

 

[Dakkaface]

That's a good point, about Hinata never being sealed in canon. Then again I think we have to remember that it was never explicitly stated in canon that Hinata (or Hanabi for that matter) being sealed was a real problem/danger at all.

Of course, if we extrapolate from the story of Hiashi and Hizashi then of course we're going to assume that one of the sisters would eventually have to be sealed, unless the Hyuuga have some inexplicable hatred of twins for some reason. However the reason I think neither Hinata nor Hanabi were ever sealed in canon was because frankly, it would just be too dark for Kishimoto's "Konoha are the good guys and the Elemental Nations somehow aren't a shithole yay!" narrative that he tried to portray.

I guess what I'm trying to say that if Kishimoto had bothered about internal consistency at all then one of the two sisters should have gotten sealed in canon. My guess is it would have been Hinata. After all her sister was by all accounts a much better candidate than her.

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I was under the impression that after the chunin exams, Hiashi and the Hyuuga in general changed. After having their dirty laundry aired in public by Naruto/Neji, and the 'lowly branch family member' managing to master high level jyuken techniques through self study and reverse engineering, they kind of had to adapt. I think the fact that Hiashi managed to pull the stick out of his ass and apologize to Neji after the exam lends weight to the idea.

 

[Kinruush]

I don't think I mentioned it explicitly, but for the purposes of this story Hyuuga are "strongly discouraged" from using the Gentle Fist during academy spars.

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Some quick searching netted me this bit while early on at the academy:

"Hey Neji," she said "are you sure we can't spar? You'd be doing me a huge favor," she said in an even monotone.

"No," he said sounding frustrated, "I already told you. I've been forbidden from sparring or fighting at all outside the clan compound without permission. Don't bother me about it because there's nothing I can do to change it."

"Well, sorry," she said flippantly. The conversation died after that.

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So, you'd at least included a general ban on fighting at all without permission, even at the academy. I didn't see anything that said it was because of Juuken, but that was the impression I'd gotten from context.

 

[Moriensdei]

By that point she needs to have come up with/found a justsu that will let her blare heavy metal from her memories for everyone to enjoy. You can't reach absolute maximum shonen hype fighting without an electric guitar absolutely shredding it (IMO anyway).

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And suddenly, the idea of Rei stealing Dosu's melody arm and turning it into a Noise Marine sonic cannon isn't as far-fetched as I thought it was.

 

[Morat136]

Some quick searching netted me this bit while early on at the academy:

So, you'd at least included a general ban on fighting at all without permission, even at the academy. I didn't see anything that said it was because of Juuken, but that was the impression I'd gotten from context.

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Both Neji and Hinata definitely did spar at the academy, because you can't pass your classes otherwise. Several of Neji's matches were described in detail, and Hinata's spars were described in the last chapter. The part you quoted is about Neji not being allowed to spar outside of his classes (since he obviously has permission to participate in class). The part SixSages wasn't sure he mentioned was that in those spars at the academy, Hyuuga in general are all restricted from using their clan taijutsu style and presumably have to use the basic academy style instead. Whether or not Neji is allowed to spar outside of his regular classes isn't at all relevant to what styles Hinata is permitted to use in her regular academy classes.

 

[Kinruush]

Both Neji and Hinata definitely did spar at the academy, because you can't pass your classes otherwise. Several of Neji's matches were described in detail, and Hinata's spars were described in the last chapter.

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Well, yes, they would probably have permission to spar during classes. I didn't say otherwise.

The part SixSages wasn't sure he mentioned was that in those spars at the academy, Hyuuga in general are all restricted from using their clan taijutsu style and presumably have to use the basic academy style instead. Whether or not Neji is allowed to spar outside of his regular classes isn't at all relevant to what styles Hinata is permitted to use in her regular academy classes.

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I didn't see anything that said it was because of Juuken, but that was the impression I'd gotten from context.

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My point was that I couldn't find anything that explicitly stated that sparring restrictions were due to Juuken, but limiting outsiders' exposure to the style would be the obvious reason for any restrictions there are. With this implied motivation, restricting Hinata's use of the style during the occasions she is allowed to spar outside of the compound (during classes) seems like the next obvious step.

In other words, while SixPerfections didn't explicitly state during the story that "Hyuuga are "strongly discouraged" from using the Gentle Fist during academy spars", it seems like a natural consequence of the context the story provides.

 

[Erebeal]

That said if you want some constructive criticism then the only thing I think needs real work are the body proportions. You can look it up, but generally speaking the length of the body and of the legs should be about equal. Also the head is a bit too large for the body as-is, making her look more like a young child than a girl who has started puberty.

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Her legs are that long . Might need to adjust the perspective on the feet a bit or something though? Maybe that's throwing things out. Good point on the head - needed to be ~10% smaller. Thanks for the feedback!

Hmm, looking at her, I kinda feel like she needs a bit more smug anime girl in her expression, but it's hard to get that right.

 

[chiefnewo]

Yet everyone in every thread seems to accept she's a vicious, violent, extremely strong and incredibly dangerous. How did Rei achieve this kind of notoriety without having done that much to earn it?

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Hope that she doesn't end up being secretly good?

 

[ItsComplicated]

Hope that she doesn't end up being secretly good?

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I would absolutely not be opposed to a Good Rei. Heck, she could even become a radical pacifist and I'd be okay with it!
It would make sense too. Her refusal to become as "evil and messed up as the village system" is a fundamental character motivation, and right now she doesn't seem self-aware enough to realise that she's dived off the moral high ground. Remember those "holy shit, child abuse is a thing" moments she's had? Well maybe after her first kill she'll start having "murder is bad" moments and dramatically review her life choices - and alarm her family and friends.
I don't think that that will happen (she's too selfish for that) but I wouldn't hate it.
Whatever happens, I'm confident that SixPerfections will manage to write something good out of it. Eventually.

Although you know what's better than Good Rei? Good Ending for Rei. Just saying...
Or at least a "Rei stays sane-ish and relatively happy, if dysfunctional" ending. I hope that she eventually gets one of those.
Still, for now she's just barely graduating!

 

[roseknight]

I would absolutely not be opposed to a Good Rei. Heck, she could even become a radical pacifist and I'd be okay with it!
It would make sense too. Her refusal to become as "evil and messed up as the village system" is a fundamental character motivation, and right now she doesn't seem self-aware enough to realise that she's dived off the moral high ground. Remember those "holy shit, child abuse is a thing" moments she's had? Well maybe after her first kill she'll start having "murder is bad" moments and dramatically review her life choices - and alarm her family and friends.
I don't think that that will happen (she's too selfish for that) but I wouldn't hate it.
Whatever happens, I'm confident that SixPerfections will manage to write something good out of it. Eventually.

Although you know what's better than Good Rei? Good Ending for Rei. Just saying...
Or at least a "Rei stays sane-ish and relatively happy, if dysfunctional" ending. I hope that she eventually gets one of those.
Still, for now she's just barely graduating!

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I think Radical Rei is a given at this. Rei remembers living in wealthy modern liberal democracy with a market economy. That is a remarkable improvement on traditional Feudal Society where most of the wealth is concentrated in the hands of the idle nobility living off the back of the peasantry and society is organized based on traditional feudal relationships. Naruto is a bit different in that adds these Ninja Villages which arent quite Feudal, but still super freaking awful if you think a bit.

I don't think this will make Rei a good person though. For example, Robbespiere created a Reign of Terror and the ideology he did this in favor of was Liberalism. (The impact of the French Revolution, despite how bloody it was and the sheer chaos it caused, ultimately was a good thing though imo)

 

[Morat136]

Heck, she could even become a radical pacifist and I'd be okay with it!

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Itachi considered himself a pacifist too, even after he murdered his entire extended family including the women and children. Although Itachi's reasons for that atrocity were ultimately loyalist towards the village, basically a dramatic foil to Rei's sincere radicalism.

 

[chiefnewo]

The reason I don't want Rei to turn good or decide that actually she loves Konoha after all is I honestly want to see a fic where the protagnist actually gets out there into the world and does something for themselves. If she stays in Konoha its into a team and missions and while I'm sure SixPerfections will write it fantastically I'm hoping for something different. To see what it's like for her to survive out there, who she meets, what she has to do, etc. etc.

 

[cheesyme]

I honestly want to see a fic where the protagnist actually gets out there into the world and does something for themselves.

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https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10996503/1/Of-the-River-and-the-Sea
Main character was on earth, dies, and is reborn in Kiri a while before the 3rd war, and she holds the interesting distinction of being both more unstable than Rei yet still being someone I'd trust not to screw me over more.

 

[SixPerfections]

Omake
The Afterlife - 1.1

---

The the gardens of the Kuchiki Manor were absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. No, they were more than that. While Soul Society as a whole could most accurately be described by the word "stagnant", in some areas there still existed a strong culture of innovation. Strangely enough, the art of nihon teien was one of those areas. After tens of thousands of years of incremental improvements Rei could almost imagine that the gardens of the Kuchiki Manor were the closest to one could get to the mythical Pure Lands in this incredibly bizarre version of an afterlife. In short, taking time to meditate in the gardens and admiring the masterwork that was their existence greatly helped her to find the emotional balance that she sought.

Rei sat by the edge of a lake that sat on the mindboggingly absurdly large Kuchiki estate, Koi with pedigrees that could be traced back a thousand generations swimming without a care under the heat of the afternoon sun. Her eyes half-open, Rei sought the refuge that meditation offered. Meditation done correctly had many benefits. A clear mind. A focused mind. A disciplined mind. It was a tried and true way to train and refine one's Reiatsu. And also, most importantly to her at the moment, in meditation a mind could find peace... or at least as close as someone like her could come to achieving such a thing, in any case.

Still, Rei couldn't help but feel some part inside of her whisper that this was a waste of time, that she didn't have the disposition to find contentment in meditation like a Yogi or a Zen master. Maybe that was true. But unless she was willing to take some very drastic actions, this was the best release she was likely to get anytime soon.

Then, without warning, someone suddenly pushed her from behind. Hard. Hard enough that even from a sitting position she went tumbling head over heels and fell into the lake in an undignified heap, scattering frightened Koi in all directions.

"Sojun!" she , her voice full of anger and indignation as she surfaced from her impromptu dunking. "I will fucking kill you!"

"Now, now," said Sojun, making motions with his hands for her to calm down while wearing a positively shit-eating smirk. "What kind of language is that? Directed at your own flesh and blood no less! Don't I get any sort of respect around here?"

Rei splashed water at him but Sojun nimbly sidestepped out of the way, that irritating smirk plastered on his face the whole time. Rei just glared at him, until her look of anger slowly morphed into evil little grin of her own. Sojun was suddenly a lot more wary than he had been before.

"Hey now, my adorable little sister, let's not do anything rash-"

"Hado # 1: SHO!"

The water Rei was in detonated with the force of a grenade in all directions due to the Kido spell she had hideously overpowered, completely soaking everything within thirty feet... including her annoying older brother who got absolutely drenched from head to toe. If she had to be wet, well then by the Kami she was going to make everything wet along with her. That part of her personality, at least, had managed to survive her transition into this new life.

"Geez," said Sojun, looking a lot less smug now that the tables had been turned on him as he stood there dripping. "I'd forgotten how petty you could be Imouto. You know if you killed any of his prized fish with that little stunt father will punish you severely. Probably by making you memorize the genealogy of every one of your victims."

Rei tried not to shudder at the thought. That did sound like something Kuchiki Ginrei would do. Pulling herself out of the water, Rei glared at her brother for all that she was worth. "None of this would have happened if you hadn't tried one of your little 'practical jokes' on me. So in a very real sense, it's all your fault. And aren't you supposed to be all serious and refined and well mannered and all that? Oh what woe, for our father to have such an unruly, ungrateful son as his heir," Rei said in overly dramatic fashion. "Truly, the heavens can be cruel and fickle, cursing our clan with an Heir who spends his time bullying poor, innocent little sisters."

"Hey, now that is uncalled for," said Sojun, taking mock offence at her words. "And after I went through all the trouble to come out here and tell you that you have a guest."

Rei began squeezing water our of her very fine and expensive clothes as she looked up at her brother who stood a full head taller than she was. "Who?"

Sojun's smirk came back. "That little boyfriend of yours, Shihoin Yukihiro. He can't seem to stay away for more than a handful of days, now can he? Do I need to start worrying about my cute little Imouto marrying into the Shihoin Clan?"

Rei gave her brother a disdainful look but didn't deem to humor such foolishness with an answer. Instead she turned and headed to her rooms. "I'm going to change. Tell Yukihiro I'll be there shortly."

"You know, boys tend to think that bossy girls are uncute. Unless there's something about Yukihiro you haven't told me yet?"

Rei didn't bother with a verbal reply to that either, but she did make a rude gesture at him over her shoulder.

000

AN: After reading a Bleach fanfic and listening to some of the music from the anime I got inspired to write this. I'm going to write a series of Rei-Bleach Omakes. I'll post at least one per day and they will be short. My aim is to write something like a short story with a conclusion I can be happy with. Let me know what you think so far.

 

[SixPerfections]

I saw it as line of succession being more contentious with twins. Who has the proper claim's more clear when there's years in between, or is at least easier to put off as a later concern. Even if the non-inheriting twin is fine with being outside the line of success, they could still make for a decent political tool in an attempt to undermine the heir and the Hyuuga seem to place a lot of value on stability.

A younger sibling could also be used to incite political instability but they aren't as ever present/immediate a concern.

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It actually might have been because they were twins.

Anyone that's read a history book can attest that unclear or contested lines of succession will ruin your fucking day. Two boys, born at the same time, each with a solid argument for succession could inflict massive amounts of damage, unless significant actions were taken to establish one as the legitimate heir over the other.

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Hmm you know I'm not sure if I agree with this reasoning in this case. If the Hyuuga were a large nation, IE a political entity with lots of different power blocks, each with their own agenda and loyalty to some subgroup or idea inside said nation, this would make sense.

However the Hyuuga are basically just a large extended family with several hundred members. I'd be willing to bet most Hyuuga know just about every other Hyuuga in the entire clan by name. In such a situation you dont really have to worry about political instability in the same way you would if Hizashi and Hiashi were the heirs to a kingdom for example. In a close family situation if the eldest (IE the one born first, and yes this actually has been used to decide who rules and who doesnt) is declared the heir and that is that.

We have no way to say for sure, but to me it makes more sense that it is tradition somehow rather than a singular exception made out of fear. But I will admit there is evidence that supports both theories. Damn Kishimoto for not fleshing out his world the way he really should have . I'll just have to muddle through and adjust things so they make sense in my story.

 

[SixPerfections]

I was under the impression that after the chunin exams, Hiashi and the Hyuuga in general changed. After having their dirty laundry aired in public by Naruto/Neji, and the 'lowly branch family member' managing to master high level jyuken techniques through self study and reverse engineering, they kind of had to adapt. I think the fact that Hiashi managed to pull the stick out of his ass and apologize to Neji after the exam lends weight to the idea.

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Really? Huh. I didn't get a sense of that at all. I guess it didn't feel like a change because... well, nothing changed. Not in how the clan was run anyway. At least not that I can remember seeing. Neji just somehow accepted his lot in life and was okay with it afterwards, which... feels like "magic of friendship" BS to me (BS in that punching someone in Shonen and shouting really loud seems to miraculously fix a lot emotional traumas/violent tendencies/general dickshness etc). Though I can see how someone might be left with that impression you got. Maybe I'm simply too cynical and didn't think a few touching moments would amount to anything without explicit follow up. Well, like much of Naruto (and boy is there a whole lot), that seems to be left open to interpretation at least a little bit.