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I enjoyed the chapter, but I would recommend decreasing the space between lines, reading felt like a chore because of it.
Thanks for the chapter.
Not really a fan of how this turned out.
Classic trope of Protagonist mowing through and goring dozens or hundreds of mooks, and then suddenly leaving the named villains alive, because he had a change of heart?
This, to me, just looks like Ballistic is going to come back fine, maybe with broken, limbs, but still fine.
They made their choices and they deserve to die for it. It's not fair that they survive, and all the mooks, that had nothing to do with this, all got turned into red paste.
Really?
Ballistic had all his limbs broken and was then buried under a ton of debries.
I do not interpret that as fine in any way.
That reads dead to me.
By my reading, the only survivor was Sundancer who was not involved, did not fight and was backstabbed by her allies.
Sundancer, Genesis, Oliver, and Perdition seem to be the only survivors of the Travelers.By my reading, the only survivor was Sundancer who was not involved, did not fight and was backstabbed by her allies.
I didn't know that force lightning has that natural feature. Able to keep a person alive as long as they're being electrocuted. It's no wonder why it's considered an outright sith and very evil ability.The men screamed, muscles locking in place as the lightning caused them a pain Anakin was so very familiar with, he had felt it in his body countless times through Sidious hands. Smoke started to rise from their bodies but they didn't die, trapped in the pain he was causing.
Shaking his head, he snapped out of it and cut off the lightning, letting the men die.
Really?
Ballistic had all his limbs broken and was then buried under a ton of debries.
I do not interpret that as fine in any way.
That reads dead to me.
By my reading, the only survivor was Sundancer who was not involved, did not fight and was backstabbed by her allies.
It's a troupe In writing that as long as you don't see the body they anit dead.
Does that mean all the Alderanians from Star Wars Episode IV still live? No, I am not serious
Tattletale's power is telling her a little pipspeak by the name of "Susanoo's ward" told the PRT about her and saved her bacon lol"You're kidding me," she said, letting the revolver drop atop the desk as she pushed herself back into the chair, a hand cradling the exposed wound at her side.
You're lacking a quotation marker at the end of 1st paragraph.to use it as a stepping stone for a political career later, not that he was a damn cape.
"Besides, I'm not trying to push the blam
You're lacking a quotation marker at the end of 1st paragraph.
Thanks for the chapter.
...I've never heard of it, but if it's true, I'm grateful for letting me know : )Actually, that's the correct grammatical rule.
When the same character is speaking, you open a quotation mark in each paragraph, but you only close it when the character stops speaking.
@CapCaverna I really enjoyed the chapter, especially Piggot addressing her and Armsmaster's colossal screw-ups, however one nitpick concerning the way you describe Velocity's fate, made worse because it's so common in the fandom:
While it's certainly possible the PRT can't get him immediate parahuman healing (since after Panacea checked him over he'd not be in any risk of dying any time soon), Panacea is far from the only parahuman healer around so they'd be looking for which healer could fix him and how soon they can get them to heal Velocity, not accepting that if Panacea can't heal him, he can't be healed.
Granted the canon capes other than Eidolon who could heal Velocity I recall are all villains (Lizardtail, Othala, Bonesaw, possibly Crainial) the canon capes are only a very small faction of the capes around(probably no more than ~1% of the capes in the US, possibly a lot lower) and even if there aren't any other capes that could heal him, the PRT has made deals with Accord before and Eidolon will be able to heal Velocity as soon as he has a few free minutes.
TL;DR - While Velocity ending in a coma and Panacea not being able to heal him makes sense, Miss Militia thinking there's no hope, rather than it just being a matter of time until they get him a healer does not.
I suggest you don't provide any details on the injury and why it can't be healed, just that it can't be healed. However if you want it to be something that can't be healed have some cape other than Panacea (i.e a cape that normally can heal brain injuries) try and heal it and fail for whatever reason(no reason for Miss Militia to know what the reason is, she'd just know it didn't work).So, no, I may have done too little medical research to find a specific brain damage that can't be healed, but that's my intention, he's in a similar situation as Uppercrust and can't be healed with certainty.
First, while Panacea doesn't heal brains I'd expect her to fix any bleeding and other issues so Velocity would be stable after she healed him and they'd have plenty of time to wait for parahuman healing.Edit: Also, they couldn't get anyone capable of healing him on time, so they had to use modern medicine to operate and take out a piece of his brain.
Velocity survived, but for how long was anyone's guess. His skull had been fractured in the fight and, despite Regenerator being flown in from Phoenix to deal with the brain damage he couldn't fix everything and Velocity was currently in a coma. It wasn't certain if he'd survive and even if he did, there was little chance he could remain a hero.
Is anyone really actually surprised at the PRT fucking up in all directions?
english is a wonderful languageActually, that's the correct grammatical rule.
When the same character is speaking, you open a quotation mark in each paragraph, but you only close it when the character stops speaking.