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Wish upon the Stars (Original Superhero cultivation sci fi litrpg)

Discussion in 'Creative Writing' started by Malcolm Tent, Mar 19, 2022.

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  1. firefrog600

    firefrog600 Well worn.

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    You know even in doulou dalu that while its not much in the stories the gods are higher dimensional beings while god kings are 5th dimensional beings? They easily affect things on a galactic scale seeing as thats what they do in between the books to get some shit done and seed life and stuff. Given their not really allowed to touch low life form stuff too much unless their direct relatives or some other stuff like possible planet destruction etc etc.
    Though apparently gods rank 120 and below can be killed by the planet destroying blasts of the best ships in soul land. those above that just dust themselves off no idea how strong they are on feats less than a lot of scifi settings I presume. But, they at least have plenty of planet destroyers at the least and can affect stuff on a galactic level.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2022
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  2. anirocks

    anirocks always lurking

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    planet destroyers yes. galactic level didnt see it. that being said i dont want to restart this argument so lets leave this at this post
     
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  3. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    on -> one
     
  4. TheeGreenBean

    TheeGreenBean Getting out there.

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    ability*
     
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  5. TheeGreenBean

    TheeGreenBean Getting out there.

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    I feel like Benny bringing in the mc to the place kind of gives away who it is, doesn’t it?
     
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  6. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Nah, he hasn't really interacted Vengiello's at all since he became friends with Shane so no one there even knows Shane exists. I'd imagine they would assume his dad made some connections with the WCP is using Benny to push his political agenda.
     
  7. TheeGreenBean

    TheeGreenBean Getting out there.

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    I guess that makes sense, but if someone is seriously trying to figure out who he is, they'd at least consider it was someone Benny knew, and in general you can lower the potential candidates of who it is by a significant margin by then keeping tabs on Benny and his dad, then looking at there associates and just eliminating people from there.
     
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  8. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    No one would though. the WCP is a universe level force. Idiots like Markie who are too mad dog not to attack are one thing, but engaging in a shadow war with a power on the same level as universe spanning empires would be insane. And any forces that would even attempt it wouldn't be anywhere near a backwater like Callus.
     
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  9. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    great update.
    and I love medical wishes
    much -> muck
    you said with powers twice
    sire -> sore
    or maybe tired?
    barely my -> barely felt my
     
  10. Smurfpapa

    Smurfpapa Verified Blue

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    Isn't he wearing a WCP mask when checking out the blood emerald ? Seems a little incongruent for the shopkeeper to explain about the WCP to someone who is visibly a member of itself.
     
  11. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    He was not explaining the WCP to the MC, he was explaining his own reasoning for why he does not go to the WCP.
    "yes sir WCP is great like you said... for you. not for me. because I am weak mortal"
     
  12. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    mind -> mine
    case -> cast
    That... actually makes perfect sense for his cultivation since his legend will affect the growth of his attributes. Appear as an old wise wizard and you become one
     
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  13. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    highly amusing
    shark -> sharp
    waifu GET
    joking aside she is quite the cutie
     
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  14. Hilight

    Hilight Not too sore, are you?

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    The government monitors all communications, so the first thing I'm going to do is tell my friend I have an Ability over said communications after reaffirming my inability to bypass said communications.

    I'm seeing an issue here.
     
  15. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Having an ability isn't an issue. He has to register eventually anyway they have teams for finding people with powers. The nature of his ability is the problem, and that's what he didn't want to say over open channels. there's a grace period of a few weeks for reporting your ability, for reasons that will be explained later.
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2022
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  16. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    This spinning head trope is extremely common in xianxia and I don't get why.
    Whenever the MC has a spinning head from info they were just given some basic and obvious info
    get starter gear, get mentor, get starter missions.
    what is there to spin about?
     
  17. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Mostly it's because a custom made set of H grade armor is very much NOT starter gear. Remember that I grade is barely a grade, but it's where most of them start out and it's the level the starter gear usually is. H grade lasts comparatively ten times as long so having a custom suit made for him at his current grade is a much bigger investment.

    Not to mention, he's getting it for free when people who sign up the regular way have to take out a loan and pay it back. Most people don't get a suit of custom H grade gear for years. Plus personal mentorship from a high grade hero instead of just sitting in a class or reading a handbook like the usual newbies, which will allow him to get out in the field and advance much faster.

    It's like starting at a new school and being told the best teachers are going to personally tutor you and they're giving you a full set of the most comprehensive and up to date textbooks to keep. It's a lot to take in.
     
  18. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    I... don't think it is a lot to take in though. It is very little to take in.
    Oh it is cool, it is great, it is a huge advantage.
    But it is not a lot.

    If someone is told "hey, you won the a billion dollars"
    I would expect squealing with joy,
    I don't understand being confused and unable to process the information. Or saying it is a lot to process.

    Also. I thought MC doesn't know anything about how it works. He didn't even know that an outflow center exists. So how does he know that those are NOT standard stuff? They said they are assigning him a mentor / suit / etc but they never told him that other people do not get those things.
     
  19. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    I mean some of it is commons sense. They have dozens of newbies all the time, no way they assign a personal mentor to each one, she also straight up told him the things they're offering are enticements and part of the contract for being such a powerful seed, which means theyre extras other people don't get, or what would be the point.

    Also, agree to disagree there, if someone offered me a billion dollars my brain would basically short circuit. I'd spend the next few days just fantasizing about what to do with it all before I spent a dime of at, but that might just be me. I mean hell, the sheer possibilities of his new gear alone would probably blue screen my brain for a few minutes. Just running variations and potential builds. Even without knowing what capabilities they can have just the designs and aesthetics are mind boggling.

    But then I'm the kind of person who plays a game and spends an hour in character creation, then quits out of boredom ten minutes after starting the story lmao. It's part of why I write.
     
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  20. TheeGreenBean

    TheeGreenBean Getting out there.

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    You should consider posting your stories on royal road. The website helps authors try and make money off of writing by having buttons at the end of each chapter that goes to both their PayPal and their patreon. I’ve seen people their make like 13k a month, and there are a lot of books with smaller followings that still make decent money. From what I can tell the website rewards people the most by uploading often which you do. Anyways, you should consider it, as there no real downside that I know of.
     
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  21. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    Both of my current active stories are actually on there already, as is my only completed story. My young justice story sell you a bridge is in the top 2000 on the rankings there, and Wish upon the Stars just broke into the top 10,000 though it has a ways to go before it catches up since its so new lol. I mostly only post Wish on here because the text editor has a word count meter and patreon doesnt and I only update on RR every five days. I appreciate all my readers for my daily updates though, and I'm glad you like my stories!
     
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  22. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    Virtuous cycle not vicious.
    Virtuous cycle and vicious cycle are both feedback loops that self reinforce.
    The only difference between them is that vicious cycle leads towards a bad end, while a virtuous cycle leads towards a good end
     
  23. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    I considered using virtuous, but it's vicious to his enemies. It does have detrimental results, just not to him. Admittedly a somewhat pretentious reason to use the term but I thought it fit better. Slightly more violent undertones. I can change it if it doesn't flow though. Come to think of it that logic probably isn't obvious to anyone but me so I probably should lol. I went ahead and changed it, sometimes I lose track of people not being able to tell what I was thinking when I put stuff in lmao.
     
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  24. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    Another thing to consider is who is saying things. It would make more sense for a Narrator to call it a vicious cycle. MC though is the one who is thinking it, and wouldn't think "good results for me are a bad thing" :p
     
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  25. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    The thought process was less good results are a bad thing and more good results are a bad thing for my enemies lol, but I didnt really make that clear in story so it just looked out of place I think.
     
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  26. mrttao

    mrttao Gone for Good

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    to soon -> too soon
    I like.
     
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  27. Xbure

    Xbure .

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    Can his friend wish that the MC has a costume and MC gives back whatever the friend paid?
     
  28. Malcolm Tent

    Malcolm Tent Monkey with a typewriter.

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    nope. his power works off value. if Benny was planning to just give him the costume it would be effectively worthless. no value means no payment would work for the wish and it couldn't be granted.
     
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  29. ojmandias

    ojmandias Making the rounds.

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    You could also think of it as does the person talking know that a positive cycle is called a virtuous cycle? I certainly didn't and I would have called it a vicous cycle even though technically it's incorrect.
     
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  30. TheeGreenBean

    TheeGreenBean Getting out there.

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    Why'd he choose Solomon?
     
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