On a Pale Horse (Umamusume/Youjo Senki)

[Lyrista]

Practically a pony.

 

[WrandmWaffles]

Hopefully this works, gonna finish this one sometime since it was fun to draw.

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Very nice! This is what the pace setter sees when they check behind them.

The rail being that short also makes Shirogane look a lot taller than she actually is, lol.

 

[uioor1]

Probably OOC, but the comments from a little while back stuck with me, so here's a short omake. Perhaps there will be a continuation later, without the misunderstanding field POV and people realizing that Shirogane isn't right in the head in more than just the standard Uma way.

Shirogane stood in Toujou-san's office, waiting as she finished working through a couple of papers. Finally, she finished and looked up at Shirogane, conflicted look on her face.

"Are you aware of why I asked you to come talk to me?" Toujou-san asked.

"I'm not familiar with any issues that would require a meeting like this," Shirogane denied.

"I see. In that case, allow me to be blunt. It has become apparent that your racing ability has hit a block, one that you have been failing to overcome," Toujou-san said.

"I understand that my progress has slowed some compared to my classmates, but I have still been placing favorably in races. Is this that much of an issue?" Shirogane asked, frowning.

"Your answer is also a part of the reason I'm holding this meeting. Your lack of drive in racing is starting to hold you back more and more. If this continues, you will stop being able to keep up with your classmates. As such, I am placed in a difficult position as your trainer. If you fail to find your drive and push past your block, you will have to stop racing," Toujou-san said.

With that statement, Shirogane stilled. Her lack of desire to truly win and claim the crown was something that Toujou-san and the members of Team Rigil had remarked upon in the past, but it was still somewhat surprising that it had become an issue to this extent. Although, it did make sense. Toujou-san wasn't just looking for an umamusume that did well, but one that would push themselves past their limits to victory. And Shirogane wasn't pushing herself the way her classmates were, to truly be the best she could be. If she couldn't find that desire, Toujou-san cutting her loose would be a logical course of action.

Unfortunately, Shirogane didn't believe she was capable of finding such a drive within herself. The Salaryman, trying activity after activity attempting to be the best but always landing second, acquiring a good job in society but having it abruptly cut short. The Soldier, struggling against Being X's machinations and fighting for her own life, doing everything she could to excel only to die rotting in a bed of disease, abandoned by the country she pushed herself for. What had once been a flame that was lit under her had been ruthlessly quenched.

Searching within herself, Shirogane came to the realization that the only way she could imagine manifesting that drive now was if the lives and livelihood of herself and her family were on the line. But they aren't. They would no doubt be disappointed to see her drop out of Tracen, but all that would mean is her needing to work harder to pay them back for all of the care they showed her. There were still plenty of other paths open to her, there was no true pressure upon her to reignite that flame. Yes, that was definitely the truth of Suzuki Shirogane's existence. The pressure, the drive, the desires that pushed her in the previous lives, they were all gone. Instead, she was left gratitude towards her family and a feeling of contentment towards her overall lot in life. Neither of which being what Toujou-san was looking for. So, standing up from her chair, Shirogane bowed towards the Trainer who had taken her on.

"I understand. Thank you for all that you've done for me, and I apologize for wasting your time. I will begin my preparations to leave Tracen Academy," Shirogane said, rising from her bow and leaving the silent room. Quickly departing, Shirogane began to plan out how she was going to explain what happened to her family and how she was going to pack up her dorm. It was regretful, but perhaps this was for the better, as it allowed her to explore her plans post-racing-retirement early without several of the hangups she had been anticipating.

 

[Cataquack Warrior]

Perhaps there will be a continuation later, without the misunderstanding field POV and people realizing that Shirogane isn't right in the head in more than just the standard Uma way.

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Yeah, everyone's reactions to this development would be really fascinating.

 

[Zttack321]

Probably OOC, but the comments from a little while back stuck with me, so here's a short omake. Perhaps there will be a continuation later, without the misunderstanding field POV and people realizing that Shirogane isn't right in the head in more than just the standard Uma way.

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I understand that this probably won't be how the story goes, but I just love this idea of Shiogane deciding that her passions lie elsewhere and racing isn't her dream.

Her leaving Tracen would mean she can't interact with the rest of the cast and the story would quickly cease to be a true Uma Musume story.

But I still love the concept of Shinogane looking around and deciding what everyone else expects of her is not what she wants, and then making clearly know to those around her.

"Clearly" in quotation marks because the blue-screen from everyone else trying to understand why someone why she would decide to leave (Umas are born to run, isn't this your dream?) clashing with Shirogane's unique mindset is part of the fun.

Thank you for writing this, I hope you make a follow up some day.

 

[rx915]

Thought of the bad end and thought she gets told racing in the track isn't for you then one random comment about her being a trainer is better than racing leads to her being an Uma trainer instead.

 

[TheLoneFrog]

Oh man, that omake was just long enough to wet my appetite but not enough to satisfy me. Ugh I want more so bad! We didn't even get to see the trainer's blue-screen because she turned and left!

 

[uioor1]

Yeah, everyone's reactions to this development would be really fascinating.

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I understand that this probably won't be how the story goes, but I just love this idea of Shiogane deciding that her passions lie elsewhere and racing isn't her dream.

Her leaving Tracen would mean she can't interact with the rest of the cast and the story would quickly cease to be a true Uma Musume story.

But I still love the concept of Shinogane looking around and deciding what everyone else expects of her is not what she wants, and then making clearly know to those around her.

"Clearly" in quotation marks because the blue-screen from everyone else trying to understand why someone why she would decide to leave (Umas are born to run, isn't this your dream?) clashing with Shirogane's unique mindset is part of the fun.

Thank you for writing this, I hope you make a follow up some day.

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Thought of the bad end and thought she gets told racing in the track isn't for you then one random comment about her being a trainer is better than racing leads to her being an Uma trainer instead.

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Oh man, that omake was just long enough to wet my appetite but not enough to satisfy me. Ugh I want more so bad! We didn't even get to see the trainer's blue-screen because she turned and left!

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There will be more later, but this was the only real bit I could do at the moment because I don't really have a good idea of how Shriogane's relationships with Team Rigil are going to play out at the moment, which isn't helped by the fact I'm only somewhat familiar with Umamusume. As such, it'll have to wait until more main story chapters are written so I have things to work with. I'm glad that everyone is enjoying this so far though!

 

[TheManWithoutAPlan]

So imagine Aston Machan, but with Symboli Kriss S aura. Given how skittish umas can be, that's rather unnerving.

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Ah, she is the true ghost of the classroom al Pasor should be scared of.

It will be supernatural enough that Shirogane's past lives and experiences will influence other racers if she gets into the zone.

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Ah the classic uma-musme domain expansion 'FOG OF WAR'.

On the other hand, Shirogane is much faster on all fours than any of her competitors, not that this is likely to ever be relevant.

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Yes. 'I am sure it won't be relevant' I await the gag of the entire class being surprised at her all fours speed when she learns she needs to get somewhere quickly. Say to save a classmate because of some unique mix of factors.

Gold Ship keeps challenging Shirogane into weird stuff, except Shirogane excels at everything and never showing a reaction

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Then Shirogane mentions she has never scored past second in all these activities. A fact only she is disapointed by.

 

[FluffyVoid]

Yes. 'I am sure it won't be relevant' I await the gag of the entire class being surprised at her all fours speed when she learns she needs to get somewhere quickly. Say to save a classmate because of some unique mix of factors.

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Submarine Shiro meme?

Gold Ship keeps challenging Shirogane into weird stuff, except Shirogane excels at everything and never showing a reaction

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Then Shirogane mentions she has never scored past second in all these activities. A fact only she is disapointed by.

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If Shirogane keeps beating Gold Ship and Shiro is only coming in second than who's on first?

 

[wtdtd]

If Shirogane keeps beating Gold Ship and Shiro is only coming in second than who's on first?

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You misread. She won against Gold Ship in their private competition, and then mentions that she only ever came second when she did this in the past against random others.

 

[Vanargandr]

Ah, she is the true ghost of the classroom al Pasor should be scared of.

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Rice Shower wont be called Assassin. Shes gonna be called Death Eagle or something in this au after Shirogane. Rice Shower is after the Golden Generation right?

 

[Tiypo]

Rice Shower wont be called Assassin. Shes gonna be called Death Eagle or something in this au after Shirogane. Rice Shower is after the Golden Generation right?

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Rice Shower was an almost black horse, hence the full title of "Black Assassin". Additionally, rice showers are associated with weddings, not birds, so it would be a really poor fit.

As an aside, it would be in bad taste to change horses nicknames because of Shirogane.

 

[Artemis_Fowl_2nd]

My thought for unique skill is she gets behind someone in first and chases them. The poor target gets spooked and runs faster, ruining their endurance for the final stretch. To counter, you either need to have the stamina to not be wrecked, or be able to feel oncoming death creeping up behind you and not flinch.

 

[GarfRed]

My thought for unique skill is she gets behind someone in first and chases them. The poor target gets spooked and runs faster, ruining their endurance for the final stretch. To counter, you either need to have the stamina to not be wrecked, or be able to feel oncoming death creeping up behind you and not flinch.

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In game it might be using her unique skill to force other umas to be rushed. Sprinkle in a debuff/recovery that is part of her unique and you get a debuffer that would ruin any pace chaser trying to get to the finish line.

Edit 1: Just imagining Shiro and Nature using their debuff to completely collapse every single running style. Shirogane for front and pace, Nature with the late and end closer. Imagine running it in one of the cups, I'd be very afraid as a trainer/player.

 

[KurobaraIto]

a little nitpick, but everyone calls Urara as Urara instead of Haru. Also, nice touch with the double hair ornament, Fine Motion has a new bestie.

 

[Tiypo]

a little nitpick, but everyone calls Urara as Urara instead of Haru. Also, nice touch with the double hair ornament, Fine Motion has a new bestie.

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To expand on this, Haru is her family name; it's appropriate for people not close to her or are trying to express politeness to refer to her by it. Urara is her given name; very close friends and family might use it. This convention though is followed in a case by case basis in horse racing because the plethora of odd names.

 

[Darkwood]

To expand on this, Haru is her family name; it's appropriate for people not close to her or are trying to express politeness to refer to her by it. Urara is her given name; very close friends and family might use it. This convention though is followed in a case by case basis in horse racing because the plethora of odd names.

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We all know, the reason everyone calls her Urara is because she would be the exact person to demand everyone calls her Urara.

 

[Tiypo]

We all know, the reason everyone calls her Urara is because she would be the exact person to demand everyone calls her Urara.

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I think she wouldn't care, she would be happy with whatever the person is comfortable with.

 

[```]

"Ohoh! It seems I am not the first to arrive!" Her voice was loud and theatrical, like she came from some aristocratic family…which might actually be possible. She strode in Shirogane's direction, ears tilted in greeting. "I am King Halo, a first rate umamusume! Who might you be, my punctual classmate?"

"Shirogane Orzel. Nice to meet you."

"Orlzel…Hmmph." King Halo frowned a bit at the unfamiliar word, before deciding not to focus on it. "It is nice to meet you as well!" Her demeanor was haughty and almost comically theatrical, but oddly enough Shirogane did not sense any disdain. Was it a front?

"So, Shirogane-san, what do you think of Tracen Academy so far?"

"It is clearly well-funded."

"Ahaha! But of course! It is where the best and brightest stars of the track gather in Japan! Which, naturally includes me, and also you!"

Her voice and tone were smug, but it was strangely genuine somehow, and not really condescending. Shirogane was surprised such an attitude was possible.

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There's that aggressively wholesome haughtiness (or is it aggressively haughty wholesomeness? either way, King Halo is a Mood).

It had been quite a long time since Shirogane had been in an all umamusume class, and she hadn't quite appreciated just how loud a large group of them could be, or just how much they could eat. She watched with some degree of surprise as her classmates piled up their trays with enough food for Umeki-san, who was at least fifty percent larger than any of them, and if that was not enough, their portions were not even the largest she observed among those eating at the cafeteria.

Her own portion was more reasonably sized, and quite a bit smaller. Given she was the shortest member of her class, it wasn't unexpected, but had her classmates really been eating this much food consistently? Wasn't that a bit excessive? Racing obviously burned significant energy, but she had managed well enough with her usual diet, and her routine involved running what would account to multiple races every shift, even if at slower paces.

As her classmates gradually began eating through what they had picked out, Shirogane realized this must be normal for them, as no one seemed askance, even the more proper King Halo or Grass Wonder, the latter actually having the largest meal among them.

Was she still eating too little? Shirogane had checked with the family doctor, and they had not found an issue with her diet. Did racing really consume so many more calories?

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Take notes from your sempais Shirogane-chan. YOU GOTTA EAT BIG TO GET BIG SHIROGANE-CHAN!

"Hmm…I guess I'm still getting used to being in a big city," the chestnut umamusume hummed thoughtfully, her ears drooping slightly as she spoke.

"Tokyo is one of the most densely populated places in the world, so it takes some getting used to. The area around Tracen is fairly moderate in terms of crowding by Tokyo standards though."

"It will be quite crowded when there are races to be seen!" King Halo pointed out. "Ooh, I can't wait to show the world what I can do!"

"Yeah! The Condor flies the highest, so I'm gonna be the fastest!"

"Condors are slow and unwieldy for birds," Shirogane pointed out. "Not that they need to be fast since they feed primarily on corpses, while their ability to soar high keeps them out of range of most threats."

"H-Hey! Are you calling me a slowpoke?!"

"No? I'm pointing out how your metaphor might not be the best."

"Oh yeah?! I bet an Orzel is something dumb and slow!"

"An Eagle is among the fastest animals on the planet, though they are admittedly not particularly intelligent among birds." Shirogane herself was more the inverse of that.

"Ooh! That's a cool name! Better than Grass Wonder."

"Oh, you want to start something, El?" Grass Wonder smiled dangerously, closing her eyes to hide her intense gaze.

"N-Never mind!"

"Well this class will be kinda fun, it looks like," Tsuyoshi-san declared.

Lively might be the better word, but it was still early, and the year had barely started.

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Even odds Pasa tries to start a fight club and invite all her friends before the year is out (the Blue Beast and White Eagle, of course, take it deadly serious).

As Shirogane stepped into her second year mathematics classroom, she found another student already present, an uma with long, neatly combed dark hair and a set of blue and white ribbons on her left ear.

"I don't believe so, this is second year trigonometry, is it not?"

The other uma blinked. "Yes, but I don't recognize you…ah," her tail swished side to side in realization. "Are you a first year who was put into advanced classes?"

"As you say."

"In that case, it is a pleasure to meet you. I am Mejiro Dober." She bowed slightly in greeting.

"It is a pleasure to meet you as well. I am Shirogane Orzel." The bow was returned.

A Mejiro, huh? They were one of the more well known racing families, which would explain why the greeting was a bit stiff and formal, not that this bothered Shirogane any.

Mejiro Dober nodded, expression still closed off, but not unfriendly, given her relaxed tail movements. "Are you settling in well, Shirogane-chan? As your senpai you can ask me for help if you need it."

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Ah yes, Miss Optimal Parent Material for all your late surger needs.

In a few of the advanced classes she was joined by some of her yearmates, like Grass Wonder in second year English and King Halo is second year Japanese, and in a few cases one of the second years seemed to have gone to a different class, which was rather different than most schools she'd experienced before, which tended towards keeping the classes together.

Shirogane personally found this arrangement agreeable, as while much of the classwork was still fairly rudimentary, the second year sports science classes were much more sophisticated than anything of the sort she had seen before.

Now if only Stay Gold would stop staring at her.

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"Stay Gold was in this episode too."

A wandering soul sees a wandering soul...

One of her major character themes is basically, like, 'the ephemeral bonds of ships passing in the night'. You'll be watching some famous historic race, then look up the list of competitors, and what do you know. Stay Gold was there.

Who knows what she sees...

Shirogane blinked. "Are you concerned about my living conditions? The discounted apartment is quite nice, and I assure you I can take care of myself."

"I do not doubt that, and I meant no offense. As your senior, both as the student council vice president and on our team, I just wanted to look out for you."

"Thank you for your concern." At this point Shirogane really shouldn't be surprised. There certainly were many people who worried themselves a lot about her in this life, but she never really got used to it. Some things, it seems, stuck with you even after death. "I can show you around if you're really worried about it."

"Hmm…I suppose I should check and make sure the affiliated residential buildings remain up to par."

She was not quite sure whether her senior's mothering nature was typical behavior, or if there was something about herself that triggered this, but there was no real reason for Shirogane not to alleviate the concerns. From her experience with her family this life, if someone was truly concerned about you, brushing them off would not make them stop bothering you.

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Air Grove's mom energy is just naturally off the charts Orzel, it just also expresses itself in a rather... imposing manner... like a father...

...

"I didn't say anything."
"I didn't say you said anything, Madam President."


Honestly, there are so many colourful characters packed into one place in tracen that you can practically trip and find yourself in a different Key visual novel.





And there's Shirogane, like Gondola. Witnessing.

She finally found her cushy position in the rear.

 

[manatherindrell]

Shirogane may be antisocial and dour, but I have faith in the friendliness of umas. It won't be long before she is joining Prez's and Nice Nature's fun.


View: https://youtube.com/shorts/F7hzUAB0lN8?si=xUeSx6WJHIwO22lI

 

[WrandmWaffles]

Like, just having 3 races consecutively in-game already got them crying, breaking down, or threatening their trainer.

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Meanwhile, Shirogane gets Mood Up and Guts. Each turn is about two weeks, so for someone like her who's used to running a lot, a race every two weeks doesn't seem too crazy. It helps that she generally doesn't exhaust herself in the races either.

Also, races have limited number of slots and while Shiro is shaping up as a great strayer, she doesn't seem to do well in shorter races.

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Shirogane would prove to be a surprisingly good sprinter, but it will take quite a bit of time for that to get figured out.

I think if she defeats a a favorite this way, the reaction the of the audience would be worse than with Rice Shower.

Edit: What I mean by that is that she would have won by putting others down, instead of lifting herself up. This does not get the Opera O Seal of Approval.

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She's definitely going to have her detractors, maybe even get nicknamed "Terrorist of the Race Track" or the like, though unlike Stay Gold she largely isn't doing things with ill intent, for the most part. Maybe "Tailgater". On the other hand she'll be very popular in Fujisawa, and probably Kanagawa too, as well as overseas in Poland.

Some gamblers would like her too, because she makes races much more unpredictable.

I honestly can't tell if Orzel is here is based on/ inspired by the history of an actual horse or not...feels like it is, but her career just started, so i can't tell.

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She is not based on any specific race horse, but they are inspired by a specific historical event.

I get a feeling she'd sing something else that stands out as unique if she wins 1st place.

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I like the idea of Shirogane singing a Victor Tsoi song, but that seems a bit hard to justify. Maybe her dad likes the band? It's about the right timeframe and he knows some Russian.

As someone unfamiliar with the source material, what exactly happens?

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The orbs are loose memories from umas Stay Gold raced against irl, and when she passes near them the memories get reabsorbed. This includes things like Silence Suzuka remembering breaking her leg and dying.

Fuckin wat.
That must've been wild for her to learn if told.

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Shirogane is on the large side for a warhorse and the short side for a racehorse, which, when scaled to umamusume heights, makes her quite short on the human scale.

She looks like she is gonna shoot me for cowardice...

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Currently, she does not have a gun. She does have a saber though.

I understand that this probably won't be how the story goes, but I just love this idea of Shiogane deciding that her passions lie elsewhere and racing isn't her dream.

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Shirogane dropping out of Tracen to found the Japanese equivalent of Waffle House, lol.

Submarine Shiro meme?

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Shirogane can, in fact, swim. And swim quite well.

My thought for unique skill is she gets behind someone in first and chases them. The poor target gets spooked and runs faster, ruining their endurance for the final stretch. To counter, you either need to have the stamina to not be wrecked, or be able to feel oncoming death creeping up behind you and not flinch.

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This sounds like an alternate running style skill. "Front Stalker" or something.

Take notes from your sempais Shirogane-chan. YOU GOTTA EAT BIG TO GET BIG SHIROGANE-CHAN!

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Shirogane, looking at the heights of her ancestors. "But I am big. Relatively."

Even odds Pasa tries to start a fight club and invite all her friends before the year is out (the Blue Beast and White Eagle, of course, take it deadly serious).

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Shirogane should very much not be invited into the fight club. For the sake of everyone else involved.

You'll be watching some famous historic race, then look up the list of competitors, and what do you know. Stay Gold was there.

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He had a long career, in part because he wasn't super successful early on. Shirogane could end up in a similar category.

 

[Wild Transient]

She's definitely going to have her detractors, maybe even get nicknamed "Terrorist of the Race Track" or the like, though unlike Stay Gold she largely isn't doing things with ill intent, for the most part.

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Stay Gold already has a monopoly on the Terrorist of the Race Track moniker.

Maybe Tanya/Shirogane can be called something like the Demon Invader? Or the Grand Opportunist? Or simply the Predator?

 

[uioor1]

Shirogane dropping out of Tracen to found the Japanese equivalent of Waffle House, lol.

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So that's why there's so much fighting happening in Waffle Houses, it's Shirogane's Frenzy skill proccing in all of her franchisees

 

[Xela63]

She's definitely going to have her detractors, maybe even get nicknamed "Terrorist of the Race Track" or the like, though unlike Stay Gold she largely isn't doing things with ill intent, for the most part. Maybe "Tailgater". On the other hand she'll be very popular in Fujisawa, and probably Kanagawa too, as well as overseas in Poland.

Some gamblers would like her too, because she makes races much more unpredictable.

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Well, the second problem is it wouldn't win you many races. It would be either a Stamina or a Wit check essentially. And once the other Umas accelerate, they'd be gone essentially. This is wh, I think such a pure dedication to debuffing others wouldn't be a good choice for her zone.

 

[Jerrylothy]

I get the feeling that she'd sing something like zardo vassa- mildly incomprehensible and haunting.

 

[Acerer]

This sounds like an alternate running style skill. "Front Stalker" or something.

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Isn't that just Rice Shower? She marks the favorite and targets them down at the final straight. A style specific to overtaking.

Shirogane would prove to be a surprisingly good sprinter, but it will take quite a bit of time for that to get figured out.

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I wonder how she would do at the longest race JRA has, the 3600m G2 Stayer's Stake. Average pace per 200m for a medium race is around 11-12s. Say she's on the lower end and her average pace is 12s per 200m. Hypothetically, if her stamina allows her to have medium race consistency for long races, she could possibly achieve a track record time of 3min 36s for the specific track, which beats the all-time track record of 3mins 41.6s. And for the 1998 Stayer's Stake, there record of the winner Interflag was 3mins 58.8s. Beating 2nd place by a insane 22s margin would turn a lot of heads even for a G2.

 

[Devarain]

I get the feeling that she'd sing something like zardo vassa- mildly incomprehensible and haunting.

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Tanya / Shirogane will sang patriotically

View: https://youtu.be/GuR9LivZ2d4?si=f2KzHKa7CmeZ7MVv

Or other Millitary Marching Song