Chapter 17: A Kilt Is Close Enough
Stannis
"Just remember I'm dying, it's up to you how hard you try." Keeping a straight face somehow, I make sure my black and yellow kilt is securely fastened. "I know I said I would wear a dress, but I just don't have the chest to pull it off. I trust this is good enough?"
Brienne is frowning at the five feet of chain connecting a pair of iron rods in my hands and my distinct lack of any armour. "Are you sure this is necessary Lord Stannis?"
"Tell you what. Since you're clearly intimidated by my mannisness, I'll alter the terms of our bet." Glancing around the entrance hall to the newly constructed Summerhold, I smirk at the iron panels lining both the floor and wall. "Instead of fighting for the right to wear armour, you are instead fighting to decide if the girls take lessons in the training yard with you..."
"Are you serious?" Arya nearly deafens me with her shriek of excitement from her place with the rest of my wards.
"... or dance classes." My smirk grows when Arya's face pales in fright.
"Kick his keister Brienne!"
She really likes the way the word rolls off her tongue and the fact that her mother never learned what it really means.
The iron panels alternate between yellow and black paint, with several iron gongs and bells hanging from the ceiling. "Shireen, hand out the supplies please. It's time to start the show."
"To yield or when Jon here calls out a victor."
Arya might have hidden her plotting from her targets, but it's been quite easy for someone experienced to notice. This will give Jon a chance to see Brienne in action up close.
Swallowing her dread, Brienne draws her blunted sword with a frown. "If you insist."
"But I've been practising for months, even got a private tutor to help me with my footwork." Syrio Forel was well worth the coin I spent on his services. "I don't want all that work to go to waste. This might be the only chance Shireen ever gets to see me fight." T
hat should make sure Brienne doesn't kick my ass in the first five seconds.
Shireen hands out balls of beeswax soaked cotton to everyone and grins in anticipation. With the children following her instructions to stick them inside their ears with confused faces.
"Selyse, I still need the favour of the most incredible woman in the world." My words get a blush from my wife as she hands me the pale blue handkerchief. "And now my other arm is bare." I hold up my left arm to Shireen and her cousins. "Could I beg the three fairest maidens for favours as well?"
Mya snorts at the comment and shakes her head. "Sorry uncle Stanlee, but mines already been given."
"I guess I'll just have to settle with two out of three." I accept the black silk from a blushing Bella and a yellow one from a very pleased Shireen. "But It's your fault if I lose."
"Ready on three?" Calls out Jon before I get too distracted.
Brienne sighs at the words but does give the Snow boy a confident smile. "If I must."
"You might have heard of the Braavosi Waterdance or even the Dornish Sanddance." I start to strike the ends of my segmented staff against the iron panels, creating a loud boom with each hit. "Now get ready for the Storm Dance!"
As I pick up momentum, the sound grows nearly deafening when I start to slam into the gongs and bells. It's so loud, it feels like waves of sound are crashing into us while I leap away from her unsteady swings.
Every step I take comes with as much force as I can muster, adding even more echoes to the cacophony. As I count the strikes with my chained staff carefully, I grin in triumph when the chains start to get stiff.
Really wasn't sure if this would do anything but annoy her. Glad I'm not going to look like a complete idiot. Though I''m not sure if it's because of the science working out or something to do with the magic of Planetos.
Sparks crackle with each strike of my iron staff and I can see Brienne realize I'm ready to act. She tries to strike aat me first, using her shield to block a counter attack as she throws herself forward.
Sadly for a warrior of her skill, I'm not playing fair.
I throw my staff and have to hold back a cheer when it wraps around her. The two iron bars have been magnetized and lock Brienne in place. Her momentum sending her crashing into the floor, with my weapon now holding her firmly against it.
"I think you can call it Jon." I try and get my squire's attention but he just gives me a blank look in response.
"What?"
Probably should have given him some of the wax.
"Did I win?" I speak slowly enough that he can read my lips.
"I think so!" Jon roars back, clearly having a hard time with his sudden deafness.
Letting out a breath of relief, I turn back to the audience. "So it's settled. You girls are going to be taking dance classes with-"
"That's not fair!" Arya whines, even while Jon and Gendry start to help Brienne get free from the chain. "She would have beaten you in a fair fight."
"Of course she would have." I easily agree with the claim, getting only a 'huh' in response. "That's why no fight should ever be fair when lives are on the line." My eyes are firm as I make sure the children all have the words hammered home. "If you lose one of those fights, people you love will die... or worse."
"How did you do that?" Samwell blurts out as he tries to pull the iron staff off the panelled floor. "Can you teach me magic?"
"The Storm Dance requires a lot of preparation, unlike the Sand and Water variations." I pretend to consider it, even though my mind is already made up. "I think it's better if I let Syrio teach you all the Braavosi style instead."
Arya's face changes into a bright smile as she suddenly realizes what I've been trying to say. "But isn't that just what they call sword fighting?"
"In Braavos it is." My nod finally gets the last of the betrayal out of Arya's eyes and she throws her arms around my waist in a tight hug.
"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!" She squeals almost as loud as the bells and I know I'm not the only one to wince.
"You're welcome, you little rapscallion." Arya preens at my comment, eager to add another new word to her arsenal. "Now didn't I said after the show it was bed time for most of you?"
Joy and Arya sigh in near unison, though Shireen looks as excited as she was before the fight. "Are you going to tell us a bedtime story?"
That gets a chuckle from the Stark girl and she peers up at me. "Like the ones Old Nan tells?"
"Are hers true or make believe?" I already know the answer but need to pretend ignorance.
"She claims they are tales of the past." Finally getting some of his hearing back, Jon joins the conversation.
"While mine are all made up and are just meant to make you have good dreams."
Shireen is already wondering what kind I'm going to tell tonight and realizes a problem with my plan. "You can't go any farther in the Narnia story though. Edric's not here!"
"I guess that means it's going to be something new." My smile grows enough to reveal nearly all my teeth. "I was thinking it's about time to share the story of Themyscira and it's warrior women."
"Warrior women?" Arya is already hooked.
"The Amazons lead Queen Shirippolyta and her cousins Benna Troy and Myssie Stonesmark." I can see Shireen puff out her chest at that connection. "As well as the guardian they sculpted from clay to act as champion against man's ignorance. Brianna the Wonder Woman."
"Brianna travelled man's world on the orders of her Queen, searching far and wide for any girls in need of either freedom or safety." I point at Joy and Arya, winking once they realize I'm about to include the two of them. "But I guess if you're too old to hear bedtime stories..."
"We aren't too old!" I'm pretty sure even Brienne's voice was part of that cry and I pretend to concede.
"Alright fine, go wash up and get into bed. I'll be up soon to start the story." Everyone dashes of except for the oldest teens and I have to roll my eyes at how hard they are trying to resist. "You lot too. We just spent the whole day on the rode and all of us stink worse than King's Landing."
