New York, October 2009
"So… the evil cultists had a deal with the evil godfather. That sounds like a fairy tale." Richard Castle saw Buffy purse her lips while she pondered this. "Fairies are of the bad. Well, the fairy tale-y ones, not the other kind. Which is a derogatory word we shouldn't use anyway."
"That's not exactly the point, Buffy." Xander shook his head. "In any case, we managed to get the immigration records. But tracking the Russians - the Russian-Americans - down will take some time."
"It would be faster if they had more electronic records," Willow cut in, looking up from her laptop. Where, Castle noted, his daughter, who was nearing her bedtime, was paying rapt attention to what was certainly a rather illegal hacking attempt. "Bunch of luddites!" the witch added.
"Well, we can start to track them the old-fashioned way," Xander said. "Like private eyes! I need a fedora. And a trench coat."
"Daddy's already a consultant for the police. He can be Sherlock Holmes," Alexis said.
"He'll need a deerstalker then. And more tweed," Xander said.
"Leaving aside the fact that the original novels never mentioned a deerstalker, I'm not going to wear tweed." Castle laid the law down. He had a reputation to maintain.
"Do the malls in New York even sell deerstalkers? Or did the city ban them for to avoid traumatising the fashion-conscious population?" Buffy asked.
"I'm not going to wear a deerstalker," Castle said.
"Beckett should be wearing the deerstalker. Not only would it be a great disguise, but she's already a detective," Vi said.
Castle glanced at Beckett, who hadn't said much for the entire meeting so far.
The detective shook her head. "Does anyone care about the fact that the local mob is involved with this demon cult? That we had a shootout with the mafia? That you are apparently going to kill the capo while he is in police custody?"
"Technically, he's in a hospital under guard. Though that counts as police custody, I guess," Willow said.
Beckett glared at the women - apparently, Castle thought, she had not been impressed by his tales about the Red Witch. "How can you talk about clothes with this hanging over our heads?"
"Fashion's important!" Buffy said, with a wide smile.
"Murder's a bit more important than fashion." Beckett clenched her teeth and she had that slight twitch near her eyebrow that Castle knew meant she was really angry.
"It's not murder. It's an execution," Xander said.
"Without a trial."
The young man shrugged. "We know he's guilty. If we let him go he'll likely contact more demons. Those who work with them usually do. And I think New York would fare better without a demonic mafia." He scoffed. "Imagine trying to arrest mafia goons with magical enhancements. Or the ability to curse their enemies. Not to mention that he did help demons trying to free a big bad, which is enough to merit the death penalty by itself."
"It's not as if we can lock him up," Castle added. "We're hard-pressed to protect the world without having to guard a prison."
"I could turn him into a rat, and we could keep him in a cage, but that way lies badness." Willow grimaced.
Beckett stared at the witch. "You can turn people into rats?"
"Yes." The redhead nodded. "It's dangerous, though. An acquaintance of us turned herself into a rat to escape a witch burning. She was stuck as a rat for years, though, since rats can't cast spells."
"That witch also turned me into a rat when we were both under the influence of a love spell." Buffy scowled. "It wasn't fun, and when I was turned back I had lost all my clothes!"
"According to what I heard you had already stripped nude in an attempt to seduce Xander before you were turned into a rat," Dawn said, grinning.
"Where did you hear that? Spike? Xander?" Buffy was glaring around.
"I wasn't involved, but I know the story," the vampire said, grinning.
"We all swore never to talk about that day again!" Xander said. "Have you forgotten that Anya starts to talk about her past whenever it is brought up?"
"What does that mean?" Beckett asked. The detective looked slightly shocked - apparently, she hadn't grown as used to the supernatural as Castle had thought. Or maybe he had underestimated the effect close proximity to the Scoobies had on normal people.
"It's a long story," Buffy said.
"Anya worked as the vengeance demon for scorned women and punished men in very cruel and creative ways," Dawn said.
"Apparently not that long," Buffy said. "But we have a mission to accomplish here."
"And we can't just declare it over before it's over," Xander added. "Well, we could, but it would be a bad idea. And we don't have an aircraft carrier."
Castle saw Beckett blink, and decided to move things back on track before the detective suffered an overdose of Scooby trivia. Their war stories made his own sound boring. "So… we need to track Russian immigrants and the dockworkers who helped the demons smuggle the seal in. Who is on which task?"
"Dawn and the detective both speak Russian. That should help gaining their trust," Xander said.
"They fled Russia. I don't think they're easily trusting strangers speaking Russian." Dawn shook her head. "Especially if you or Miss Overprotective keep glaring at them."
"I don't glare!" Buffy said.
"Sure you do! You scared away half my dates!" Dawn retorted.
"Half your dates?" Buffy gaped. "That's not… you dated people I didn't met first?"
"Of course! All who met you were too scared to date me!"
"They wouldn't have been scared if they could be trusted!"
"As if you are a good judge of dating material, given your love life!" Dawn huffed.
"Oy!" Spike said.
"Present company excluded," Dawn added with a smile.
"Present company included!" Xander said.
"Oy!"
Castle was about to attempt to get the planning meeting back on track when the doorbell rang. At once, the spat between the Summers sisters was over.
"Do you expect anyone?" Buffy asked, halfway to the door already, Mr. Pointy in her hand.
"No, I don't," Castle said, grabbing his jacket to cover up his gun holster, if needed.
Vi was at the door, peering through the peephole, while the rest took up positions.
"It's the Special Agent," she said. "And he looks mad."
Castle muttered a curse under his breath. He should have expected this.
*****
"Agent Sorelosoron!" Castle greeted the man with the fakest smile he could manage this side of being polite.
The man glared at him. "Is Kate here?"
Rick was tempted to ask if the man had a warrant, but that would be too much for the obviously tense agent. Probably. Weren't Feds supposed to be more calm? Then again, if he had heard about Beckett being in a shootout, he'd not be calm either.
"Yes," Beckett said behind him.
The agent took in a sharp breath, then tried to push past Castle. For a moment, Rick wanted to stop him. Grab him and tell him to get lost. He was invading a private residence, wasn't he? But Kate would hate that. And he was a better man than that, too. So he stepped to the side, though he couldn't help adding: "I guess manners are not taught at the FBI academy."
"Kate! I just heard that you were in a shootout with Antoinio Marconi's men!"
"You just heard that?" Castle whistled. "Wow, I knew the cooperation between the Feds and the local cops was bad, but that bad?" Both cops glared at him, so he held his hand up. "I'm just making an observation."
"An observation we can do without right now," Agent Can't-take-it-son said. "What happened? Why were in his restaurant?"
"That was his restaurant? That explains the biggest collection of Italian cliches I've ever seen!" Castle shook his head.
"Castle!" Beckett hissed at him.
"Sorry. I'll be quiet now and leave our dear Special Agent to have a special moment." He mimed zipping his lips shut.
"Five bucks say he won't stay silent longer than five minutes!" Vi loudly commented, which caused the Scoobies to chuckle. Even Alexis giggled!
"And who are those people?" The agent gestured at the assembled Scoobies. They had stashed and holstered their weapons, but they were still spread out just right to cover the door, something the agent might just have realised, Castle thought.
"Friends of mine from England," Castle said.
"I knew it!" Vi crowed. "Pay up!"
"I didn't bet, duh," Xander said. "That was the mother of all sucker's bets!"
"He's weaseling out of another bet?" Dawn shook her head. "I thought he had changed his slippery ways."
"I never accepted that bet either!" Xander said.
"And he even won that bet!" Dawn pouted. "He's really bad at this."
"You wanted to lose that bet, duh!" Xander was glaring at the girl now.
"So?" Dawn wrinkled her nose. "You're welching on bets, that's a fact!"
"I am not welching on bets!"
"Dawn! Xander! Stop that!" Buffy snapped, glaring at both. Then she turned to the agent, and smiled so sweetly, Castle could almost fele his teeth starting to rot. "Please excuse my sister and my friend. They'll behave now, so you can continue with… whatever you were doing, I guess."
"What?" The agent was staring at the blonde Slayer.
Castle snorted, which earned him another glare from Beckett - another reason to keep Agent Jealouson away from her; she was usually far more receptive to funny quips, or so Castle thought.
"They are guests of Castle, Will," Beckett said.
The agent was visibly struggling to get his mind back in gear. Rick wasn't surprised - rigid minds usually didn't do well when faced with such situations. Beckett had to have realised that as well, since she was showing far more patience with the agent than she usually had with Castle.
"But… whatever. Kate! What happened?"
"Castle wanted to meet a mob boss, to do some research for his next book. So we went and visited Marconi's favourite restaurant," Beckett explained. "The man did meet with him, but somehow must have taken offense at his questions, since he ordered his men to attack us."
"Well, as far as attacks go, that was barely above an attempt. For hardened criminals, they really were not much to talk about," Vi said. "We shot, what, eight of them?"
"Maybe they are not much to talk about because they misunderstood the Omerta?" Castle said. When no one laughed and Alexis rolled her eyes at him, he pouted. That hadn't been a bad joke. Not one of his best, but still - it wasn't as if their own quips were always award-worthy!
Suddenly, Beckett's very ex-boyfriend lunged for him. "Castle! What did you do?"
Rick could have taken him, of course - he had fought vampires and other demons who were far stronger than a puny Special Agent in a cheap suit - but Vi had the man down on the ground and in a very painful armlock - Castle knew that from experience - before anyone else could do anything.
While Beckett was gaping - hopefully shocked at the potential for unprovoked violence her ex-boyfriend had been displaying - Castle was thinking of how to work that in his next book, and Buffy was criticising his Slayer's form, Spike shook his head and said: "Oy… I want it on record that I had nothing to do with this assault on a cop!"
Trust the damn vampire to totally misrepresent the situation!
*****