Prince Charon
Just zis guy, you know?
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I'm not sure his sense of self-preservation is strong enough to prevent that, but I'm not writing it.
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Richard Castle, Watcher (Castle/Buffy) (Complete)
New York, April 2010
Starfox5
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New York, April 2010
Richard Castle watched his Slayer go through her sword forms in her flat's gym for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.
Vi stopped at once, her blade seemingly frozen in mid-motion. "Yes, Rick?" She turned around and lowered her sword.
He pointed to the bench at the wall. "Come on, let's sit down."
"Oh, one of those talks!" She pouted. "Is this about Clark's? He had it coming!"
"Who? What about Clark's?" Had he missed anything?
"Oh, nothing." She smiled widely at him, then sat down on the mats, facing the bench. "So, shoot!"
He knew she was hiding something, but he'd find out what later. For now, there was something more important to talk about than some busted demon heads. "So… You've been pretty involved with the wedding planning." More than him, at least.
Vi shrugged in that too casual way of hers that indicated she was tenser than she tried to appear. "Someone has to be the voice of the Slayers."
"Huh?"
"You know, making sure that there's enough food, the music doesn't suck, and there are enough cute guys and girls around so we don't grow bored - can't count on some demon being stupid enough to mess with the wedding to get some action." Vi's grin showed all her teeth.
Rick nodded. "I see. Good thinking there." The idea of hungry Slayers, no, hungry bored Slayers, was terrifying. The only thing worse would be horny Slayers.
"Always."
He coughed in response, but she didn't even flinch, much less blush. Slayers! "So I was wondering how you and Kate work together."
"You mean you're wondering if we've 'settled our differences', right?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
He nodded. "Well… yes."
Vi shrugged, still a bit forced. "She needs to learn that she's not a Slayer, but otherwise, she's OK."
And that was the crux of the issue. Kate wasn't a Slayer, but she wasn't a Watcher either. So, she had no defined place in the pecking order that Slayers saw the world as. And while Kate didn't share that kind of worldview, she definitely didn't see herself as subordinate to Vi. He made a mental note not to explore that particular thought in a book. He didn't write that kind of Fantasy books. "She is no Slayer. But she'll probably be a Watcher sooner or later."
"What?" Vi blinked at him. "A Watcher?"
"We don't have to be all stuffy and British." Rick laughed.
"I know that! But Watchers are the loremasters. Not the frontline. And you study for years."
"Well, Kate's been reading my books since she was twelve." And she had been a very cute kid. "And you know that all the details about demons in my works are correct."
"Oh. I didn't think of that."
Rick hadn't either, not for some time, at least. But there was no need to mention that. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. Just treat her as a Watcher in training."
"Really? Did you talk to her as well?" She narrowed her eyes at him again.
"I didn't think I had to. She might not have realised that she's becoming a Watcher yet." He grinned.
"And you don't want to spook her, I see. Sneaky!" Vi grinned again, but it slowly gave away to a smile.
"Guilty as charged!" That should have settled that. No need to tell her that she didn't have to fear that Kate would replace her. That would only make her act defensive. Or ask her if she had ever been serious about pursuing him. Some things Rick didn't want to know. "Now… what was that about Clark's?"
"Uh…" Vi started to fidget. "It wasn't my fault!"
"Most people call before they visit," Richard Castle said when he opened the door and let his father inside the apartment. It might be petty, but for someone who claimed that he would have been part of Rick's life if it hadn't been too dangerous, Hunt had made himself rather scarce after being appointed as the CIA's liaison to the Council.
"Most people don't have to worry about being tracked by assassins," Hunt answered, shrugging out of his coat. Rick knew he was carrying a weapon, but couldn't spot… ah, small of the back, a slight bulge over the belt.
"You have an unhackable magically protected cell phone," Rick pointed out.
"I can't use that for my other work, and I can't afford to get sloppy," Hunt answered as he walked over to the couch. "I need to keep up the routines that keep me alive."
Rick shook his head.
"Do you invite people into your apartment?" Hunt shot back.
"Touché," Rick acknowledged. "Drink?"
"Whisky, please."
"Shouldn't you ask for a Martini, shaken not stirred?" Rick chuckled as he went over to the bar.
"You know that Bond isn't exactly a realistic secret agent." Hunt sounded a bit touchy.
"Fleming actually was involved in the 'business'," Rick countered. "He just dressed it up for the readers. They did crazy things in his time." Just like himself, he thought.
"Things have changed." Hunt nodded when he took his drink from Rick.
"Cheers!" Rick sat down and raised his glass.
Hunt mirrored him, then took a sip and nodded appreciatively.
"There are some advantages to working for the British," Rick said. He was proud of his single malt of choice.
"And disadvantages."
"I got divorced of her." Rick grinned, then sighed. "I assume that you deliberately picked a time to visit when all my redheads and my fiancée were not at home."
"I thought we should talk, you know, father to son."
Rick almost corrected him with 'absent father to son with a family', but controlled himself. It would be stupid to drive his father away when he was reaching out to Rick. No matter how awkward this conversation felt. "Teach me the facts of life before I get married?" he quipped.
Hunt nodded slowly. "In a way."
Rick frowned. "I wouldn't think a man who gave up on his family to keep them safe from his job's dangers would know much about marriage."
"You would be wrong, son." Hunt smiled faintly and raised his hand. Something caught the light on his ring finger.
Rick blinked. "You're married?" That he hadn't yelled this was a testament to his iron self-control.
"Yes."
"But… what about all that 'if my enemies knew about you, you'd be in grave danger' bit?" He couldn't help feeling more than a bit resentful at that.
"Well, my wife's in the business as well."
"Oh." That might excuse it. Might - the jury was still out there. If Rick's stepmother was just a secretary in the CIA, a real live Moneypenny...
"Yes. She's an agent, and a damn good one."
Apparently, she wasn't a secretary. "She's not a Russian spy who you seduced into switching sides, is she?" When his father stared at him, he quickly added: "Just checking… although you would react like that if she was. A Russian spy, that is." That's how it worked, after all - misdirection and subterfuge. "So… will she be your plus one?"
"Unlikely. She's an active agent." Hunt took another sip from his glass. Was that a tell?
"So are you," Rick pointed out.
"Not as active as I'd like to be. Not anymore."
Oh, that was a glare alright. Rick smiled. "If you want to come on a few demon hunts, that can be arranged. We'll call it familiarising yourself with our modus operandi." That sounded nice and professional. Much better than Buffy's 'See if you wet yourself or not'. "I'll even loan you a flamethrower."
"I'm not qualified on them," Hunt said. Seeing Rick's doubtful expression, he shook his head. "We don't actually use flamethrowers anymore."
"Well, you should. The Ack Pack has saved my life many times." It was a great weapon. Especially against vampires. "And the psychological effect is even better."
"I'll take your word for it."
"Alright." He'd change his opinion once he saw it in action, Rick thought. Everyone hunting vampires loved fire. He took a sip from his own glass, savouring the taste. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
Hunt finished his glass. "I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't have second thoughts about marrying a woman in your business. I never regretted it."
"I don't have second thoughts." Rick had seldom been as certain of something as of his desire to marry Kate.
Hunt nodded at him. Rick nodded back. Then he refilled their glasses. "Are we actually bonding over marrying women who are active in our business?"
"Are we?" Hunt asked back.
"I think we are." Awkwardly, though.
But it was more than Rick had had before. "So… when do I get to meet my stepmom? And did you tell her about me?"
"She knows you exist."
"I mean, about what I really do."
Hunt took another sip from his glass instead of answering.
Rick shook his head. "Well, let me give you a little bit of advice: Don't keep such secrets from your wife. Countless failed relationships taught me that." Though to be fair, Rick hadn't been trying too hard to make them work.
"Both of us are used to keeping secrets," Hunt finally said.
"From each other as well?"
"Yes."
"That sounds…" Bad? Stupid? "... complicated."
"It works for us."
"You should still tell her. So I can meet her." Rick had to meet her. A woman who had captured his father's heart? A spy, to boot?
She would make a great character! Although Rick would have to change her a lot - angry stepmothers were bad enough when they weren't trained assassins.
Richard Castle watched his Slayer go through her sword forms in her flat's gym for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.
Vi stopped at once, her blade seemingly frozen in mid-motion. "Yes, Rick?" She turned around and lowered her sword.
He pointed to the bench at the wall. "Come on, let's sit down."
"Oh, one of those talks!" She pouted. "Is this about Clark's? He had it coming!"
"Who? What about Clark's?" Had he missed anything?
"Oh, nothing." She smiled widely at him, then sat down on the mats, facing the bench. "So, shoot!"
He knew she was hiding something, but he'd find out what later. For now, there was something more important to talk about than some busted demon heads. "So… You've been pretty involved with the wedding planning." More than him, at least.
Vi shrugged in that too casual way of hers that indicated she was tenser than she tried to appear. "Someone has to be the voice of the Slayers."
"Huh?"
"You know, making sure that there's enough food, the music doesn't suck, and there are enough cute guys and girls around so we don't grow bored - can't count on some demon being stupid enough to mess with the wedding to get some action." Vi's grin showed all her teeth.
Rick nodded. "I see. Good thinking there." The idea of hungry Slayers, no, hungry bored Slayers, was terrifying. The only thing worse would be horny Slayers.
"Always."
He coughed in response, but she didn't even flinch, much less blush. Slayers! "So I was wondering how you and Kate work together."
"You mean you're wondering if we've 'settled our differences', right?" She narrowed her eyes at him.
He nodded. "Well… yes."
Vi shrugged, still a bit forced. "She needs to learn that she's not a Slayer, but otherwise, she's OK."
And that was the crux of the issue. Kate wasn't a Slayer, but she wasn't a Watcher either. So, she had no defined place in the pecking order that Slayers saw the world as. And while Kate didn't share that kind of worldview, she definitely didn't see herself as subordinate to Vi. He made a mental note not to explore that particular thought in a book. He didn't write that kind of Fantasy books. "She is no Slayer. But she'll probably be a Watcher sooner or later."
"What?" Vi blinked at him. "A Watcher?"
"We don't have to be all stuffy and British." Rick laughed.
"I know that! But Watchers are the loremasters. Not the frontline. And you study for years."
"Well, Kate's been reading my books since she was twelve." And she had been a very cute kid. "And you know that all the details about demons in my works are correct."
"Oh. I didn't think of that."
Rick hadn't either, not for some time, at least. But there was no need to mention that. "That's why I wanted to talk to you. Just treat her as a Watcher in training."
"Really? Did you talk to her as well?" She narrowed her eyes at him again.
"I didn't think I had to. She might not have realised that she's becoming a Watcher yet." He grinned.
"And you don't want to spook her, I see. Sneaky!" Vi grinned again, but it slowly gave away to a smile.
"Guilty as charged!" That should have settled that. No need to tell her that she didn't have to fear that Kate would replace her. That would only make her act defensive. Or ask her if she had ever been serious about pursuing him. Some things Rick didn't want to know. "Now… what was that about Clark's?"
"Uh…" Vi started to fidget. "It wasn't my fault!"
*****
"Most people call before they visit," Richard Castle said when he opened the door and let his father inside the apartment. It might be petty, but for someone who claimed that he would have been part of Rick's life if it hadn't been too dangerous, Hunt had made himself rather scarce after being appointed as the CIA's liaison to the Council.
"Most people don't have to worry about being tracked by assassins," Hunt answered, shrugging out of his coat. Rick knew he was carrying a weapon, but couldn't spot… ah, small of the back, a slight bulge over the belt.
"You have an unhackable magically protected cell phone," Rick pointed out.
"I can't use that for my other work, and I can't afford to get sloppy," Hunt answered as he walked over to the couch. "I need to keep up the routines that keep me alive."
Rick shook his head.
"Do you invite people into your apartment?" Hunt shot back.
"Touché," Rick acknowledged. "Drink?"
"Whisky, please."
"Shouldn't you ask for a Martini, shaken not stirred?" Rick chuckled as he went over to the bar.
"You know that Bond isn't exactly a realistic secret agent." Hunt sounded a bit touchy.
"Fleming actually was involved in the 'business'," Rick countered. "He just dressed it up for the readers. They did crazy things in his time." Just like himself, he thought.
"Things have changed." Hunt nodded when he took his drink from Rick.
"Cheers!" Rick sat down and raised his glass.
Hunt mirrored him, then took a sip and nodded appreciatively.
"There are some advantages to working for the British," Rick said. He was proud of his single malt of choice.
"And disadvantages."
"I got divorced of her." Rick grinned, then sighed. "I assume that you deliberately picked a time to visit when all my redheads and my fiancée were not at home."
"I thought we should talk, you know, father to son."
Rick almost corrected him with 'absent father to son with a family', but controlled himself. It would be stupid to drive his father away when he was reaching out to Rick. No matter how awkward this conversation felt. "Teach me the facts of life before I get married?" he quipped.
Hunt nodded slowly. "In a way."
Rick frowned. "I wouldn't think a man who gave up on his family to keep them safe from his job's dangers would know much about marriage."
"You would be wrong, son." Hunt smiled faintly and raised his hand. Something caught the light on his ring finger.
Rick blinked. "You're married?" That he hadn't yelled this was a testament to his iron self-control.
"Yes."
"But… what about all that 'if my enemies knew about you, you'd be in grave danger' bit?" He couldn't help feeling more than a bit resentful at that.
"Well, my wife's in the business as well."
"Oh." That might excuse it. Might - the jury was still out there. If Rick's stepmother was just a secretary in the CIA, a real live Moneypenny...
"Yes. She's an agent, and a damn good one."
Apparently, she wasn't a secretary. "She's not a Russian spy who you seduced into switching sides, is she?" When his father stared at him, he quickly added: "Just checking… although you would react like that if she was. A Russian spy, that is." That's how it worked, after all - misdirection and subterfuge. "So… will she be your plus one?"
"Unlikely. She's an active agent." Hunt took another sip from his glass. Was that a tell?
"So are you," Rick pointed out.
"Not as active as I'd like to be. Not anymore."
Oh, that was a glare alright. Rick smiled. "If you want to come on a few demon hunts, that can be arranged. We'll call it familiarising yourself with our modus operandi." That sounded nice and professional. Much better than Buffy's 'See if you wet yourself or not'. "I'll even loan you a flamethrower."
"I'm not qualified on them," Hunt said. Seeing Rick's doubtful expression, he shook his head. "We don't actually use flamethrowers anymore."
"Well, you should. The Ack Pack has saved my life many times." It was a great weapon. Especially against vampires. "And the psychological effect is even better."
"I'll take your word for it."
"Alright." He'd change his opinion once he saw it in action, Rick thought. Everyone hunting vampires loved fire. He took a sip from his own glass, savouring the taste. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
Hunt finished his glass. "I just wanted to tell you that you shouldn't have second thoughts about marrying a woman in your business. I never regretted it."
"I don't have second thoughts." Rick had seldom been as certain of something as of his desire to marry Kate.
Hunt nodded at him. Rick nodded back. Then he refilled their glasses. "Are we actually bonding over marrying women who are active in our business?"
"Are we?" Hunt asked back.
"I think we are." Awkwardly, though.
But it was more than Rick had had before. "So… when do I get to meet my stepmom? And did you tell her about me?"
"She knows you exist."
"I mean, about what I really do."
Hunt took another sip from his glass instead of answering.
Rick shook his head. "Well, let me give you a little bit of advice: Don't keep such secrets from your wife. Countless failed relationships taught me that." Though to be fair, Rick hadn't been trying too hard to make them work.
"Both of us are used to keeping secrets," Hunt finally said.
"From each other as well?"
"Yes."
"That sounds…" Bad? Stupid? "... complicated."
"It works for us."
"You should still tell her. So I can meet her." Rick had to meet her. A woman who had captured his father's heart? A spy, to boot?
She would make a great character! Although Rick would have to change her a lot - angry stepmothers were bad enough when they weren't trained assassins.
*****
Last edited:
New York, May 2010
Starfox5
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New York, May 2010
Richard Castle had thought that the last few weeks had been hectic as the preparations for his and Kate's wedding took over more and more of their and their families' time. But, looking at the charter jet taxiing over to them, he realised that he hadn't seen anything yet.
"I might have made a slight miscalculation," he whispered to Vi, who was leaning against the first of the rental cars they had organised.
"Huh?" He didn't have to turn his head to know she was looking at him.
"They're coming for a wedding. Not to stop an apocalypse, or to rescue Alexis," Rick went on.
"Yes?"
His Slayer still didn't understand. He sighed. "They are coming to celebrate, to party, not to hunt demons."
"Oh! You mean…" Vi trailed off.
He looked at her, meeting her suddenly wide eyes. "Yes. They'll not even be trying to be professional."
"Fuck."
And then the jet came to a stop in front of the gangway, and the Scoobies descended on New York. And on Rick.
Buffy was the first out of the plane, dressed like a model, though a head too short for the runway, even with her high heels. She was lugging around a suitcase big enough to fit two people inside. Or her weapons and a few of her shoes. "Rick!" She spread her arms, not bothering to lose the suitcase, and Rick was lifted off the ground. Fortunately, she only prevented him from breathing and didn't crack a rib.
"Yo, Rick. Vi." Faith, wearing jeans, boots and a leather jacket waved at him, a bag slung over her shoulder. "B, let the man breathe, or he won't pay for your shoes!"
Rick found himself released as Buffy went and hugged Vi. "Vi! How's it feel, getting a stepmom?" Rick wasn't the only one to wince. Fortunately, Vi couldn't breathe either, and so couldn't retort.
"Hello, Rick, Vi." Dawn was dressed in a business deux-piece and not quite sensible heels. Probably chosen in deliberate contrast to her sister's minidress. "Don't mind Buffy, she barely managed to sit still during the flight. Worse than a toddler."
"Hey!" Buffy protested. And pouted when Dawn seemed to ignore her. But before the blonde Slayer could act half her age, or less, Willow arrived.
"Behave, everyone!" the witch said. "We're here for Rick's wedding, not another shopping trip." She was with Kennedy; apparently their on/off relationship was currently 'on' again.
"We're good enough to manage both!" Buffy said, nodding for emphasis. She ignored Dawn rolling her eyes.
"Hi, Rick!"
"Hello, Rick."
Xander and Anya were next. Anya's smile was too wide, though at least Rick didn't feel the urge to get out the shark-repellent any more, and Xander was wearing the ugliest shirt Rick had seen this side of Hawaii. Business as usual for the couple, then.
"Hi! Rick!" Andrew stumbled down the gangway, carrying several smaller bags and backpacks. His shirt and pants made Xander's fashion choices look like runway material.
"Hello, Richard." There was his ex-wife. Looking… as she usually did, Rick decided. Slightly disapproving of him, in other words.
"Hello, Mary."
And finally, Rupert arrived. Rick's oldest friend among the Council looked slightly stressed - Spending a few hours locked in a plane with the rest of the Scoobies would do that, of course. Not that Rupert admitted that he was part of the Scoobies, hating the name.
"Rupert. You look like you could use a drink."
"I fully agree, Richard."
"I thought Spike would be coming as well," Rick said. He had organised a car with covered windows in the back, after all. Not that he'd mind it very much if that particular corrupting influence wasn't in the same city as his daughter.
"He was convinced that covering up himself with blankets and a parasol would be catching too much attention, given your celebrity status" Rupert explained, then looked at the top of the gangway, where a crew member was pushing out a very large suitcase. Even larger than Buffy's.
"You managed to convince him to travel in that?" Rick stared, then checked for flying pigs. After all, Andrew was here as well, and might have messed up another ritual.
"Just for disembarking," Rupert clarified. His smile told Rick that he'd not mind if the disembarking took a bit longer than needed.
The wedding was off to a good start, Rick thought.
"I'll say, you have outdone yourself, Richard," Rupert said later when Rick and his friend had retired to his office. "To house so many guests without complaints is no small feat."
"Complaints from me, or them?" Rick asked, opening a drawer in his desk and pulling out a bottle of his favourite whisky. "Because there were complaints. Several, actually." Buffy, of course had wanted a bigger room, which had prompted Faith to ask for one as well, just because, and Xander had wanted a bigger TV. He had been joking, at least.
Rupert chuckled. "Oh, that was just the usual grumbling. I tend to ignore it." He held out his glass, and Rick filled it. "But I meant from you. You have provided our rather large group with all we need for our stay here to be both comfortable and safe as well as ready for any eventuality."
"Oh, it's not the first time we've had the Scoobies as visitors, after all," Rick answered, filling his own glass. He smiled when he caught Rupert's slight wince at the name. "Cheers!"
"But I was most impressed by how you and Mary got along," Rupert remarked.
Rick frowned, if a bit exaggeratedly. "You mean how we didn't call each other names? We stopped that once Alexis scolded us for our behaviour." Having your little girl tell you off tended to be a sobering experience, even in the middle of a divorce. "But you're right, we do manage to remain civil with each other. And Kate and Mary are even… friends." And wasn't that a strange thing to say? Terrifying too! Who knew what they were talking about right now? He had told Kate repeatedly not to believe anything Mary said about him - unless it was flattering - but she had rolled her eyes in that manner of hers, and Rick didn't think she would actually heed his words.
"Quite so. Mary spoke highly of your intended."
And now Rick wanted to know what Mary had said about Kate. He clenched his teeth and took a sip from his glass. He wouldn't ask Rupert to gossip. Not when Rupert had that smile that told Rick that he was all too aware of Rick's thoughts, and found the situation amusing. Probably still wasn't over Rick's rejection of his ideas for the latest book.
Rick cleared his throat and smiled. "Do you like the whisky?" It was a good one. Expensive too, but that went without saying.
"Yes. Quite a find, in the colonies, I would assume."
"Oh, we have decent beverages here," Rick said in his best, or worst, New York accent. "Comes with throwing tea into the harbour - more room for good drinks."
"I thought that that was the work of your neighbours in Boston, not New York. I might have to ask Faith if I misremembered."
Rick glared at him. Faith was unreasonably proud of her home town, despite her experiences as a child there. "I was speaking of the USA as a whole."
"Ah. As you colonials are wont to." Rupert had emptied his own glass in the meantime.
"Yes, us 'colonials'. Who have taken over most of the Council in the mother country." Rick smiled.
"I have faith that proper British manners will prevail. And your own daughter seems to agree with me."
Rick shot the man a glare. That was fighting dirty. And venturing too close to the subject of his first wife.
Rupert must have noticed, since he held up a hand. "Enough banter, I think. This is an occasion for celebrating your good future, not for dwelling on past regrets."
Such as Mary, Rick thought. "You're very supportive of my upcoming nuptials, though you haven't married yourself."
For a moment, he thought he had touched a nerve, since rupert seemed to tense. He relaxed quickly, though. "Indeed. My family, and the old Council, as you would know, were quite intent on getting me married. To a proper wife, of course."
"Yes. The old 'heir and spare'," Rick commented.
"More than one spare, given our profession," Rupert said. "But I was a bit of a rebel in my youth, and in a small part, that carried over even after I became a Watcher."
"Somehow I don't think that you refused to marry because of a teenage rebellion."
"By the time I was reconsidering my choices, I had already been chosen as Buffy's Watcher." Rupert raised his glass.
"Part of the reason behind that appointment probably was your rebel attitude," Rick remarked.
"I think, in hindsight, that it was more aimed at my family. Travers wanted to weaken their influence in the old Council."
Rick laughed. "He'd be aghast to know that you're now the Head Watcher of the Council."
"Oh, yes. The miserable pillock would spin in his grave, if we had found enough of his remains to bury them properly." Rupert's grin was properly feral. Too much time with Slayers like Buffy and Faith, Rick thought.
"But isn't there anyone, you know?" Rick gestured, not quite willing to openly ask about his friend's love life.
"Usually, people wait with trying to matchmake their friends until after their wedding," Rupert said. He was grinning, but Rick understood the message.
He had to ask the other Scoobies if he wanted to know who Rupert was seeing!
Richard Castle had thought that the last few weeks had been hectic as the preparations for his and Kate's wedding took over more and more of their and their families' time. But, looking at the charter jet taxiing over to them, he realised that he hadn't seen anything yet.
"I might have made a slight miscalculation," he whispered to Vi, who was leaning against the first of the rental cars they had organised.
"Huh?" He didn't have to turn his head to know she was looking at him.
"They're coming for a wedding. Not to stop an apocalypse, or to rescue Alexis," Rick went on.
"Yes?"
His Slayer still didn't understand. He sighed. "They are coming to celebrate, to party, not to hunt demons."
"Oh! You mean…" Vi trailed off.
He looked at her, meeting her suddenly wide eyes. "Yes. They'll not even be trying to be professional."
"Fuck."
And then the jet came to a stop in front of the gangway, and the Scoobies descended on New York. And on Rick.
Buffy was the first out of the plane, dressed like a model, though a head too short for the runway, even with her high heels. She was lugging around a suitcase big enough to fit two people inside. Or her weapons and a few of her shoes. "Rick!" She spread her arms, not bothering to lose the suitcase, and Rick was lifted off the ground. Fortunately, she only prevented him from breathing and didn't crack a rib.
"Yo, Rick. Vi." Faith, wearing jeans, boots and a leather jacket waved at him, a bag slung over her shoulder. "B, let the man breathe, or he won't pay for your shoes!"
Rick found himself released as Buffy went and hugged Vi. "Vi! How's it feel, getting a stepmom?" Rick wasn't the only one to wince. Fortunately, Vi couldn't breathe either, and so couldn't retort.
"Hello, Rick, Vi." Dawn was dressed in a business deux-piece and not quite sensible heels. Probably chosen in deliberate contrast to her sister's minidress. "Don't mind Buffy, she barely managed to sit still during the flight. Worse than a toddler."
"Hey!" Buffy protested. And pouted when Dawn seemed to ignore her. But before the blonde Slayer could act half her age, or less, Willow arrived.
"Behave, everyone!" the witch said. "We're here for Rick's wedding, not another shopping trip." She was with Kennedy; apparently their on/off relationship was currently 'on' again.
"We're good enough to manage both!" Buffy said, nodding for emphasis. She ignored Dawn rolling her eyes.
"Hi, Rick!"
"Hello, Rick."
Xander and Anya were next. Anya's smile was too wide, though at least Rick didn't feel the urge to get out the shark-repellent any more, and Xander was wearing the ugliest shirt Rick had seen this side of Hawaii. Business as usual for the couple, then.
"Hi! Rick!" Andrew stumbled down the gangway, carrying several smaller bags and backpacks. His shirt and pants made Xander's fashion choices look like runway material.
"Hello, Richard." There was his ex-wife. Looking… as she usually did, Rick decided. Slightly disapproving of him, in other words.
"Hello, Mary."
And finally, Rupert arrived. Rick's oldest friend among the Council looked slightly stressed - Spending a few hours locked in a plane with the rest of the Scoobies would do that, of course. Not that Rupert admitted that he was part of the Scoobies, hating the name.
"Rupert. You look like you could use a drink."
"I fully agree, Richard."
"I thought Spike would be coming as well," Rick said. He had organised a car with covered windows in the back, after all. Not that he'd mind it very much if that particular corrupting influence wasn't in the same city as his daughter.
"He was convinced that covering up himself with blankets and a parasol would be catching too much attention, given your celebrity status" Rupert explained, then looked at the top of the gangway, where a crew member was pushing out a very large suitcase. Even larger than Buffy's.
"You managed to convince him to travel in that?" Rick stared, then checked for flying pigs. After all, Andrew was here as well, and might have messed up another ritual.
"Just for disembarking," Rupert clarified. His smile told Rick that he'd not mind if the disembarking took a bit longer than needed.
The wedding was off to a good start, Rick thought.
*****
"I'll say, you have outdone yourself, Richard," Rupert said later when Rick and his friend had retired to his office. "To house so many guests without complaints is no small feat."
"Complaints from me, or them?" Rick asked, opening a drawer in his desk and pulling out a bottle of his favourite whisky. "Because there were complaints. Several, actually." Buffy, of course had wanted a bigger room, which had prompted Faith to ask for one as well, just because, and Xander had wanted a bigger TV. He had been joking, at least.
Rupert chuckled. "Oh, that was just the usual grumbling. I tend to ignore it." He held out his glass, and Rick filled it. "But I meant from you. You have provided our rather large group with all we need for our stay here to be both comfortable and safe as well as ready for any eventuality."
"Oh, it's not the first time we've had the Scoobies as visitors, after all," Rick answered, filling his own glass. He smiled when he caught Rupert's slight wince at the name. "Cheers!"
"But I was most impressed by how you and Mary got along," Rupert remarked.
Rick frowned, if a bit exaggeratedly. "You mean how we didn't call each other names? We stopped that once Alexis scolded us for our behaviour." Having your little girl tell you off tended to be a sobering experience, even in the middle of a divorce. "But you're right, we do manage to remain civil with each other. And Kate and Mary are even… friends." And wasn't that a strange thing to say? Terrifying too! Who knew what they were talking about right now? He had told Kate repeatedly not to believe anything Mary said about him - unless it was flattering - but she had rolled her eyes in that manner of hers, and Rick didn't think she would actually heed his words.
"Quite so. Mary spoke highly of your intended."
And now Rick wanted to know what Mary had said about Kate. He clenched his teeth and took a sip from his glass. He wouldn't ask Rupert to gossip. Not when Rupert had that smile that told Rick that he was all too aware of Rick's thoughts, and found the situation amusing. Probably still wasn't over Rick's rejection of his ideas for the latest book.
Rick cleared his throat and smiled. "Do you like the whisky?" It was a good one. Expensive too, but that went without saying.
"Yes. Quite a find, in the colonies, I would assume."
"Oh, we have decent beverages here," Rick said in his best, or worst, New York accent. "Comes with throwing tea into the harbour - more room for good drinks."
"I thought that that was the work of your neighbours in Boston, not New York. I might have to ask Faith if I misremembered."
Rick glared at him. Faith was unreasonably proud of her home town, despite her experiences as a child there. "I was speaking of the USA as a whole."
"Ah. As you colonials are wont to." Rupert had emptied his own glass in the meantime.
"Yes, us 'colonials'. Who have taken over most of the Council in the mother country." Rick smiled.
"I have faith that proper British manners will prevail. And your own daughter seems to agree with me."
Rick shot the man a glare. That was fighting dirty. And venturing too close to the subject of his first wife.
Rupert must have noticed, since he held up a hand. "Enough banter, I think. This is an occasion for celebrating your good future, not for dwelling on past regrets."
Such as Mary, Rick thought. "You're very supportive of my upcoming nuptials, though you haven't married yourself."
For a moment, he thought he had touched a nerve, since rupert seemed to tense. He relaxed quickly, though. "Indeed. My family, and the old Council, as you would know, were quite intent on getting me married. To a proper wife, of course."
"Yes. The old 'heir and spare'," Rick commented.
"More than one spare, given our profession," Rupert said. "But I was a bit of a rebel in my youth, and in a small part, that carried over even after I became a Watcher."
"Somehow I don't think that you refused to marry because of a teenage rebellion."
"By the time I was reconsidering my choices, I had already been chosen as Buffy's Watcher." Rupert raised his glass.
"Part of the reason behind that appointment probably was your rebel attitude," Rick remarked.
"I think, in hindsight, that it was more aimed at my family. Travers wanted to weaken their influence in the old Council."
Rick laughed. "He'd be aghast to know that you're now the Head Watcher of the Council."
"Oh, yes. The miserable pillock would spin in his grave, if we had found enough of his remains to bury them properly." Rupert's grin was properly feral. Too much time with Slayers like Buffy and Faith, Rick thought.
"But isn't there anyone, you know?" Rick gestured, not quite willing to openly ask about his friend's love life.
"Usually, people wait with trying to matchmake their friends until after their wedding," Rupert said. He was grinning, but Rick understood the message.
He had to ask the other Scoobies if he wanted to know who Rupert was seeing!
*****
Last edited:
steamrick
Matter: protons, electrons, neutrons and morons
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I'd rephrase that one to 'more than one spare' to put more emphasis on the number aspect of that sentence...
... but I might just be nitpicking.
Starfox5
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Good idea. Changed.
macdjord
Well worn.
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s/we get/we've had/
Starfox5
Experienced.
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Corrected.
New York, May 2010
Starfox5
Experienced.
- Joined
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New York, May 2010
Getting someone to talk about Rupert's love life was surprisingly difficult, Richard Castle discovered soon enough. Dawn claimed that she didn't care about gossip - a claim as convincing as Buffy stating that she didn't care about shoes. Xander said that he was sworn to privacy, whatever that meant. Willow scolded him for prying. Which meant that Kennedy wouldn't answer his questions either. Faith simply laughed. Buffy somehow managed to turn him asking her into him paying for her next shopping trip. Without spilling the beans, even! Anya, of course, wanted an inappropriate amount of money. And dental, whatever she meant by that. He wouldn't ask Mary the time of day if it wasn't an emergency or concerning Alexis. And his own daughter chose the wrong time and occasion to rebel against her parents, again!
Which left Rick with just one source willing to brave whatever Rupert was holding over the Scoobies' heads. Even if he really disliked them.
"Hey, Spike!" he greeted his least welcome guest, standing in the doorway to the vampire's room. Rick had wanted to house Spike in the basement, but Vi had volunteered one of her guestroom's. And everyone had looked at Rick as if he had proposed to buy a few kittens to play poker! They were the people who had transported Spike in a suitcase, after all!
"Rick!" The vampire smiled widely at him, as if they were old friends and Spike hadn't taught Alexis how to pick locks and bust cars - granted, both were useful skills, but Alexis should have learned them to prepare for her professional career! And not from Spike! "Feeling jittery about the wedding yet?"
"I've been married twice," Rick pointed out.
"Right!" Spike nodded in what Rick thought was supposed to be sympathy. "Then you know how women change as soon as you're married."
Rick smiled thinly. "I prefer to think that the do not change, but rather stop pretending - in some cases, at least." Like Gina. Kate, though, was one of the least pretentious women Rick knew. And in his first marriage, Rick had been the one to change. Or at least his career had changed.
"Well, Dru certainly did change. Granted, we weren't married, and she was crazy to start with, but…" Spike shrugged. "Can't trust a woman who leaves you for a Fungus Demon - I mean, that's like dating a fungus infection!"
If he hadn't sought out the vampire to ask about Rupert's love life, Rick would have gladly pointed out that Spike did trust Drusilla after that incident. And asked if vampires could get STDs - he knew dying cured them, but could the undead get sick again? As it was, he shrugged noncommittally. "Speaking of women… I noticed a certain evasiveness when I inquired after my dear friend Rupert's love life."
Spike laughed out loud, even slapping his thigh. "That's one way to word it! Giles got'em spooked right and proper, does he?"
"He does. So, I thought I'd come ask the one person I know who would be brave enough to defy Rupert." Or stupid enough.
"You've come to the right man then!" Spike seemed as pleased as Rick had hoped he'd be. "Although if you expected something good, like Giles dating a Slayer, or a demon, then you'll be disappointed."
Rick had had such thoughts, actually. An older, experienced man and a younger woman in his charge, or an affair with the enemy - the lure of forbidden love was a literary trope for a reason, after all. He had even suspected that Buffy and Rupert might be an item, until Buffy's reaction to his casual inquiries. "Well… if it's a normal affair, why has he put the fear of Ripper into the other Scoobies?"
Spike chuckled. "Because they ruined his last normal relationship."
He hadn't heard about that. "Really? Do tell!"
The vampire grinned. "They were sworn to secrecy, of course, afterwards, but from what I found out, they apparently feared that his girlfriend - a librarian, even! - might be evil. Or a demon. Or both."
A sensible stance, in Rick's opinion. He was certain that Xander would agree. "Nothing a little spell wouldn't tell."
"Well… they were also concerned that the woman in question might be a golddigger," Spike explained. "That's your fault, by the way."
"My fault?"
"You were the one who married your agent - against everyone's advice. So, the gang got a bit concerned when Giles was seen with a young and pretty woman. And when she was revealed to be a librarian, they agreed that, as Buffy put it, she was too perfect to be genuine."
Rick winced. He could see what was coming.
Spike nodded. "Yes. The whole shovel speech. By everyone. The poor thing was so terrified, she left the mother country for Australia." Spike frowned. "Although I also heard that she was mad at Giles for not telling her that he was taking care of disturbed young people. Or that she was mad that he didn't tell her about demons." The vampire shrugged. "Either way, the bird's flown, and Giles laid down the law."
That explained it. Rupert had his nickname for a reason, after all. Rick smiled. "So… who's he dating?"
Spike closed up. "A perfectly normal, nice woman."
"That sounded like a quote from Rupert."
"Yes."
"You're not going to tell me who he's dating either?"
"Mate, you know how he is. He said he'd get Willow to do a spell to make me forget everything about Passions!" Spike was shaking his head. "Sorry, but there are things I don't risk. Not even for you." He shrugged. "Besides, you've got more important things to worry about than which bird Rupert's seeing."
Rick hated to admit it, but the vampire was correct - he was about to marry the love of his life, after all. And for all his lack of involvement in the planning, he was still quite busy with the preparations. He was the one paying for it, and signing all the checks. Of which there were a lot.
Before he could comment on that, though, Spike went on: "Your stag night, of course!"
Rick froze.
"Dad! You look like…" Alexis trailed off, apparently not wanting to swear in front of him. At least Spike's bad influence hadn't reached that far, Richard Castle thought. Yet.
"It got a little late last night," Rick said, looking around for the coffee maker in his kitchen. He needed fluids. And caffeine. And something for his headache, before he decided that shooting himself in the head was most effective. But coffee first. Where was… ah, there! Where it was supposed to be. Who'd have expected that?
"What happened last night?" Alexis asked.
"I don't remember."
"What?"
"I don't remember." He didn't want to, and Rick was old enough - and rich enough - so he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to. Like remembering his stag night.
"Dad!" Now his daughter was frowning at him. He needed coffee to deal with this. Or not deal with this. Why was the coffee maker taking so long?
"Yes, Alexis?"
"Even if you drank so much you lost your memory, you would remember the start of the evening."
Ah, logic - his old foe. He stared at the coffee dripping into his cup. "It's complicated."
"That excuse worked when I was four, Dad. It doesn't work any more."
"I think it worked at least until you were five. Maybe six, even," he joked. She didn't laugh. Well, he was not at his best. "Some things are not meant to be spoken to anyone who wasn't there. This is one of those things."
"So you do remember!" she said, jumping on his lapse. That had to be Kate's influence.
"I plead the fifth."
"You're not on trial here."
"It certainly feels like it!" he protested, then gripped his cup, which had finally filled with his dearly needed coffee.
"That's probably because you did something you feel guilty about."
"I'm innocent until proven guilty." He took a big sip from his cup, then cursed when the hot coffee burned his lips.
"If you don't want to tell me, then I'll have to ask someone else who was there, and they'll not be trying to make you look good," Alexis tried a different tack.
"They would be incriminating themselves," he pointed out. At least he thought they would - his memory was a bit hazy when it came to the end. After the fourth pub they visited trying to prove to Rupert that you could have a decent pint in New York.
"They can turn Queen's evidence."
"It's state's evidence. We're a proud republic, not a kingdom." He huffed, then took another sip. Still too hot.
"We have a royal charter, though. And we're all subjects of Her Majesty the Queen. Even you, according to your diplomatic immunity."
And uncomfortable facts joined forces with logic. Why was everyone ganging up on him? All he had done last night was drinking too much, singing too loudly, defacing public property, and teaching Javier and Kevin how to use a flamethrower. Which anyone should be able to. Was it arson if no one one was going to complain about a fire?
"RICK!"
He winced - his Slayer had strong lungs.
"How could you!" Vi stormed into the kitchen. She was ignoring the croissants in their basket. Instead, she was focusing on him. That was a bad sign.
"How could I what?"
"How could you burn down Clarke's without me?"
"He did what?" Alexis asked.
So, that was the hazy part at the end. He had been wondering where he had gotten the moving targets for his impromptu lesson from. "Technically, it wasn't me, but Kevin, Javier and Rupert," he defended himself. "And I think Xander too. And Spike!" he added, with a frown at Alexis.
"They all decided to burn down a demon bar. Without you saying anything." His little girl sounded far too doubting, in his opinion.
"We were all very drunk," he defended himself. "I don't remember who had the idea. Really."
Vi huffed. "A likely excuse! You never forgot anything bad I did!"
"I'm usually not drunk when that happens," Rick pointed out. "Believe me, I'd certainly like to forget certain things you did," he added with a sigh.
"Don't try to distract me with Vi's sordid past," Alexis said. Her frown had grown worse, Rick noticed.
"It was worth a try," he mumbled. "But why are you interrogating and berating me? I was but one of six!" It was so unfair! "Even Rupert indulged himself!" Although were he in Rupert's place and had to deal each day with the Scoobies, Rick would probably be an alcoholic.
"You're the groom," Alexis pointed out, "and the host. And you paid for the evening."
"Logic, my old nemesis," Rick muttered. At least the coffee had cooled down enough - barely - to be drunk without sipping. "But I really don't remember anything past… well…" He gasped. "We took my car!"
"You left it in the garage." Vi was was narrowing her eyes at him.
"We took it when we came for the flamethrower." He recalled that now. How could he have thought that this would be a good idea? Drunk driving, drunk arson… Rupert would have a fit once he heard of this… no! Rick perked up. Rupert was implicated as well!
"What did you do with my baby?" Vi's guttural growl made his good mood disappear in an instant.
"We drove to Clarke's with it."
"You were six. The car seats four, maybe five." Alexis said.
"Five. And one vampire fits in the trunk."
"You put Spike in the boot?" His daughter was staring at him as if he had maimed a cat.
"He was the only one who didn't need to breathe and needed the protection from sunlight it offered." Rick refilled his cup. More coffee would help even more.
"It was night," Vi said.
"We were planning ahead." Damn, still too hot. Or again too hot. Rick winced and licked his lips.
"You said you were too drunk to remember anything. And you claim you were planning ahead in that state?" Vi scowled.
"Hey!" Compared to his Slayer, who tended to act very much impulsively, Rick was a master strategist.
"It's true, Dad. This doesn't sound very convincing." Alexis had that 'I'm so disappointed' look again.
"That's why it's true - fiction would have to make sense. Reality doesn't have that handicap!" Why didn't anyone believe him when he was telling the truth? It had made sense at the time, too.
"That still doesn't excuse burning down Clarke's without me!" Vi said, huffing.
"You wrecked it several times," Rick said. "Burned it once as well."
"Exactly! It was mine to burn down!"
"What?" Rick stared at her. That didn't make any sense to anyone. Well, with the possible exception of another Slayer.
"So, you owe me compensation for the emotional pain this callous betrayal caused!" Vi nodded emphatically.
"And me for the worries I had because you were so irresponsible!" Alexis added.
He blinked. "Are you two trying to extort money?"
His innocent daughter shrugged. "What is it worth to you if we don't mention this again?" Her grin was positively feral. Rick added Anya to the list of Scoobies with whom his daughter shouldn't associate. Or shouldn't have, seeing as the damage had been done already.
That didn't mean that he wouldn't pay, of course. No getting reminded of this at every opportunity? Cheap at any price. "How much?"
They told him. Definitely Anya's influence. But then, it was better that they picked up her greed and not her other flaws. Like the violent vengeful streak. Sighing, he looked for his wallet. Before he found it, though, another far too loud voice coming from the door made him wince.
"CASTLE!"
That was Kate. But she only called him Castle if she was angry...
Kate made a beeline towards him. "The captain just called me. Why is your car on the Precinct's roof?"
"So that's where we left it!" Rick exclaimed happily. Which, he discovered a moment later, hadn't been the smartest thing to say.
He blamed the coffee, of course.
Getting someone to talk about Rupert's love life was surprisingly difficult, Richard Castle discovered soon enough. Dawn claimed that she didn't care about gossip - a claim as convincing as Buffy stating that she didn't care about shoes. Xander said that he was sworn to privacy, whatever that meant. Willow scolded him for prying. Which meant that Kennedy wouldn't answer his questions either. Faith simply laughed. Buffy somehow managed to turn him asking her into him paying for her next shopping trip. Without spilling the beans, even! Anya, of course, wanted an inappropriate amount of money. And dental, whatever she meant by that. He wouldn't ask Mary the time of day if it wasn't an emergency or concerning Alexis. And his own daughter chose the wrong time and occasion to rebel against her parents, again!
Which left Rick with just one source willing to brave whatever Rupert was holding over the Scoobies' heads. Even if he really disliked them.
"Hey, Spike!" he greeted his least welcome guest, standing in the doorway to the vampire's room. Rick had wanted to house Spike in the basement, but Vi had volunteered one of her guestroom's. And everyone had looked at Rick as if he had proposed to buy a few kittens to play poker! They were the people who had transported Spike in a suitcase, after all!
"Rick!" The vampire smiled widely at him, as if they were old friends and Spike hadn't taught Alexis how to pick locks and bust cars - granted, both were useful skills, but Alexis should have learned them to prepare for her professional career! And not from Spike! "Feeling jittery about the wedding yet?"
"I've been married twice," Rick pointed out.
"Right!" Spike nodded in what Rick thought was supposed to be sympathy. "Then you know how women change as soon as you're married."
Rick smiled thinly. "I prefer to think that the do not change, but rather stop pretending - in some cases, at least." Like Gina. Kate, though, was one of the least pretentious women Rick knew. And in his first marriage, Rick had been the one to change. Or at least his career had changed.
"Well, Dru certainly did change. Granted, we weren't married, and she was crazy to start with, but…" Spike shrugged. "Can't trust a woman who leaves you for a Fungus Demon - I mean, that's like dating a fungus infection!"
If he hadn't sought out the vampire to ask about Rupert's love life, Rick would have gladly pointed out that Spike did trust Drusilla after that incident. And asked if vampires could get STDs - he knew dying cured them, but could the undead get sick again? As it was, he shrugged noncommittally. "Speaking of women… I noticed a certain evasiveness when I inquired after my dear friend Rupert's love life."
Spike laughed out loud, even slapping his thigh. "That's one way to word it! Giles got'em spooked right and proper, does he?"
"He does. So, I thought I'd come ask the one person I know who would be brave enough to defy Rupert." Or stupid enough.
"You've come to the right man then!" Spike seemed as pleased as Rick had hoped he'd be. "Although if you expected something good, like Giles dating a Slayer, or a demon, then you'll be disappointed."
Rick had had such thoughts, actually. An older, experienced man and a younger woman in his charge, or an affair with the enemy - the lure of forbidden love was a literary trope for a reason, after all. He had even suspected that Buffy and Rupert might be an item, until Buffy's reaction to his casual inquiries. "Well… if it's a normal affair, why has he put the fear of Ripper into the other Scoobies?"
Spike chuckled. "Because they ruined his last normal relationship."
He hadn't heard about that. "Really? Do tell!"
The vampire grinned. "They were sworn to secrecy, of course, afterwards, but from what I found out, they apparently feared that his girlfriend - a librarian, even! - might be evil. Or a demon. Or both."
A sensible stance, in Rick's opinion. He was certain that Xander would agree. "Nothing a little spell wouldn't tell."
"Well… they were also concerned that the woman in question might be a golddigger," Spike explained. "That's your fault, by the way."
"My fault?"
"You were the one who married your agent - against everyone's advice. So, the gang got a bit concerned when Giles was seen with a young and pretty woman. And when she was revealed to be a librarian, they agreed that, as Buffy put it, she was too perfect to be genuine."
Rick winced. He could see what was coming.
Spike nodded. "Yes. The whole shovel speech. By everyone. The poor thing was so terrified, she left the mother country for Australia." Spike frowned. "Although I also heard that she was mad at Giles for not telling her that he was taking care of disturbed young people. Or that she was mad that he didn't tell her about demons." The vampire shrugged. "Either way, the bird's flown, and Giles laid down the law."
That explained it. Rupert had his nickname for a reason, after all. Rick smiled. "So… who's he dating?"
Spike closed up. "A perfectly normal, nice woman."
"That sounded like a quote from Rupert."
"Yes."
"You're not going to tell me who he's dating either?"
"Mate, you know how he is. He said he'd get Willow to do a spell to make me forget everything about Passions!" Spike was shaking his head. "Sorry, but there are things I don't risk. Not even for you." He shrugged. "Besides, you've got more important things to worry about than which bird Rupert's seeing."
Rick hated to admit it, but the vampire was correct - he was about to marry the love of his life, after all. And for all his lack of involvement in the planning, he was still quite busy with the preparations. He was the one paying for it, and signing all the checks. Of which there were a lot.
Before he could comment on that, though, Spike went on: "Your stag night, of course!"
Rick froze.
*****
"Dad! You look like…" Alexis trailed off, apparently not wanting to swear in front of him. At least Spike's bad influence hadn't reached that far, Richard Castle thought. Yet.
"It got a little late last night," Rick said, looking around for the coffee maker in his kitchen. He needed fluids. And caffeine. And something for his headache, before he decided that shooting himself in the head was most effective. But coffee first. Where was… ah, there! Where it was supposed to be. Who'd have expected that?
"What happened last night?" Alexis asked.
"I don't remember."
"What?"
"I don't remember." He didn't want to, and Rick was old enough - and rich enough - so he didn't have to do anything he didn't want to. Like remembering his stag night.
"Dad!" Now his daughter was frowning at him. He needed coffee to deal with this. Or not deal with this. Why was the coffee maker taking so long?
"Yes, Alexis?"
"Even if you drank so much you lost your memory, you would remember the start of the evening."
Ah, logic - his old foe. He stared at the coffee dripping into his cup. "It's complicated."
"That excuse worked when I was four, Dad. It doesn't work any more."
"I think it worked at least until you were five. Maybe six, even," he joked. She didn't laugh. Well, he was not at his best. "Some things are not meant to be spoken to anyone who wasn't there. This is one of those things."
"So you do remember!" she said, jumping on his lapse. That had to be Kate's influence.
"I plead the fifth."
"You're not on trial here."
"It certainly feels like it!" he protested, then gripped his cup, which had finally filled with his dearly needed coffee.
"That's probably because you did something you feel guilty about."
"I'm innocent until proven guilty." He took a big sip from his cup, then cursed when the hot coffee burned his lips.
"If you don't want to tell me, then I'll have to ask someone else who was there, and they'll not be trying to make you look good," Alexis tried a different tack.
"They would be incriminating themselves," he pointed out. At least he thought they would - his memory was a bit hazy when it came to the end. After the fourth pub they visited trying to prove to Rupert that you could have a decent pint in New York.
"They can turn Queen's evidence."
"It's state's evidence. We're a proud republic, not a kingdom." He huffed, then took another sip. Still too hot.
"We have a royal charter, though. And we're all subjects of Her Majesty the Queen. Even you, according to your diplomatic immunity."
And uncomfortable facts joined forces with logic. Why was everyone ganging up on him? All he had done last night was drinking too much, singing too loudly, defacing public property, and teaching Javier and Kevin how to use a flamethrower. Which anyone should be able to. Was it arson if no one one was going to complain about a fire?
"RICK!"
He winced - his Slayer had strong lungs.
"How could you!" Vi stormed into the kitchen. She was ignoring the croissants in their basket. Instead, she was focusing on him. That was a bad sign.
"How could I what?"
"How could you burn down Clarke's without me?"
"He did what?" Alexis asked.
So, that was the hazy part at the end. He had been wondering where he had gotten the moving targets for his impromptu lesson from. "Technically, it wasn't me, but Kevin, Javier and Rupert," he defended himself. "And I think Xander too. And Spike!" he added, with a frown at Alexis.
"They all decided to burn down a demon bar. Without you saying anything." His little girl sounded far too doubting, in his opinion.
"We were all very drunk," he defended himself. "I don't remember who had the idea. Really."
Vi huffed. "A likely excuse! You never forgot anything bad I did!"
"I'm usually not drunk when that happens," Rick pointed out. "Believe me, I'd certainly like to forget certain things you did," he added with a sigh.
"Don't try to distract me with Vi's sordid past," Alexis said. Her frown had grown worse, Rick noticed.
"It was worth a try," he mumbled. "But why are you interrogating and berating me? I was but one of six!" It was so unfair! "Even Rupert indulged himself!" Although were he in Rupert's place and had to deal each day with the Scoobies, Rick would probably be an alcoholic.
"You're the groom," Alexis pointed out, "and the host. And you paid for the evening."
"Logic, my old nemesis," Rick muttered. At least the coffee had cooled down enough - barely - to be drunk without sipping. "But I really don't remember anything past… well…" He gasped. "We took my car!"
"You left it in the garage." Vi was was narrowing her eyes at him.
"We took it when we came for the flamethrower." He recalled that now. How could he have thought that this would be a good idea? Drunk driving, drunk arson… Rupert would have a fit once he heard of this… no! Rick perked up. Rupert was implicated as well!
"What did you do with my baby?" Vi's guttural growl made his good mood disappear in an instant.
"We drove to Clarke's with it."
"You were six. The car seats four, maybe five." Alexis said.
"Five. And one vampire fits in the trunk."
"You put Spike in the boot?" His daughter was staring at him as if he had maimed a cat.
"He was the only one who didn't need to breathe and needed the protection from sunlight it offered." Rick refilled his cup. More coffee would help even more.
"It was night," Vi said.
"We were planning ahead." Damn, still too hot. Or again too hot. Rick winced and licked his lips.
"You said you were too drunk to remember anything. And you claim you were planning ahead in that state?" Vi scowled.
"Hey!" Compared to his Slayer, who tended to act very much impulsively, Rick was a master strategist.
"It's true, Dad. This doesn't sound very convincing." Alexis had that 'I'm so disappointed' look again.
"That's why it's true - fiction would have to make sense. Reality doesn't have that handicap!" Why didn't anyone believe him when he was telling the truth? It had made sense at the time, too.
"That still doesn't excuse burning down Clarke's without me!" Vi said, huffing.
"You wrecked it several times," Rick said. "Burned it once as well."
"Exactly! It was mine to burn down!"
"What?" Rick stared at her. That didn't make any sense to anyone. Well, with the possible exception of another Slayer.
"So, you owe me compensation for the emotional pain this callous betrayal caused!" Vi nodded emphatically.
"And me for the worries I had because you were so irresponsible!" Alexis added.
He blinked. "Are you two trying to extort money?"
His innocent daughter shrugged. "What is it worth to you if we don't mention this again?" Her grin was positively feral. Rick added Anya to the list of Scoobies with whom his daughter shouldn't associate. Or shouldn't have, seeing as the damage had been done already.
That didn't mean that he wouldn't pay, of course. No getting reminded of this at every opportunity? Cheap at any price. "How much?"
They told him. Definitely Anya's influence. But then, it was better that they picked up her greed and not her other flaws. Like the violent vengeful streak. Sighing, he looked for his wallet. Before he found it, though, another far too loud voice coming from the door made him wince.
"CASTLE!"
That was Kate. But she only called him Castle if she was angry...
Kate made a beeline towards him. "The captain just called me. Why is your car on the Precinct's roof?"
"So that's where we left it!" Rick exclaimed happily. Which, he discovered a moment later, hadn't been the smartest thing to say.
He blamed the coffee, of course.
*****
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New York, May 2010
Starfox5
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New York, May 2010
He should have held his stag night on the eve of his wedding, Richard Castle thought as he was faced with an angry fiancée. The groom wasn't allowed to see the bride until the ceremony, after all.
"So… you have no idea how your car ended up on the precinct's roof." Kate had her arms crossed an expression on her face she usually reserved for the interrogation of suspects.
"I suspect a prank by someone with supernatural powers. Like a witch," Rick said. It wasn't even a lie - Giles was no Willow and couldn't simply float or teleport a car on a roof, but he had enough talent and skill to mute a helicopter.
"Or a Slayer?"
"I would never suspect Vi, Buffy or Kennedy of doing such a thing," Rick quickly said. Only a fool would try to frame a Slayer. Like Xander. Or Dawn - but she only did that with Buffy, so that didn't count.
"You didn't mention Faith."
"Well…" He winced. "I'm not exactly certain if she would be more offended if I falsely accused her of doing such a thing, or if I claimed that she would never do such a thing."
"Even with supernatural strength it would be difficult to lift a car to the roof without being spotted."
"Not exactly. The side alley is not really patrolled, and the camera there has a blind spot." Vi had used that a few times to sneak into the Precinct. "Granted, it's probably not large enough to carry a car through, but still…" he trailed off. "I'm not helping my case, am I?"
Kate shook her head.
He cleared his throat. "Well, I can guarantee you that if that miniscule hole in the precinct's security was used to transport a car on its roof, it was done without my knowledge."
"That's remarkably specific." She narrowed her eyes.
"Really?" He gave her his best innocent look. Judging by her frown, it wasn't enough. Story of his life. He tried another tack. "In any case, I don't understand why people are making such a big fuss about this. I'm the car's owner, and I'm not that concerned. Isn't this just illegal parking?"
"What?" She looked surprised, but recovered quickly. "And trespassing. Probably breaking and entering, too."
"I honestly doubt that they - whoever they are - actually took the car inside the precinct," he quickly said. "And trespassing isn't exactly a capital crime either." Didn't diplomats use their immunity to ignore parking tickets all the time? Giles couldn't object to that, could he?
"What did you do, Castle?"
"Me?" He touched his chest. "I told you, I have no idea."
"You have several theories, at the very least, which you just mentioned."
His mother had always told him that he was too clever for his own good. "Mere speculation after the fact."
She rolled her eyes at that. "Castle, stop stalling. The press has caught wind of this, and the Captain's not happy."
Rick winced. This complicated things. And Kate knew that he wasn't as innocent as he claimed. Should he blame the alcohol? Or… "Let's blame my ex-wife. Second ex-wife, I mean."
"What?" She had that cute surprised look again, with her mouth half-open. As if she couldn't believe what he had just said.
"Publicity stunt. Unapproved, of course. By me, that is."
Kate snorted. "I somehow doubt that Gina will go along with this."
Rick grinned confidently. "Trust me - she'll do anything for money. And this is a good publicity stunt." Maybe he should add such a scene to his next book.
And, he added after he saw Kate frown, maybe he shouldn't show so much enthusiasm for the prank after he had spent so much time and effort denying any involvement in it. Even if it was a good prank.
"Rick? I need to talk to you." Anya strode into Rick's office.
"You and everyone else." After spending months preparing for the wedding, it was remarkable how many things hadn't been settled yet, Rick Castle thought.
Anya looked around. "I don't see anyone else here."
"You caught me during one of the few times I've got a little peace." Of course, hiding where everyone looked for him first might not have been a good idea. Hindsight almost always was 20/20.
"Good." She nodded, apparently happy about this, instead of taking the hint that he needed a break. "We have to talk about an important thing which I think has been neglected so far."
"Money?"
She blinked. "Yes. How did you know?"
"Because that's the reason for which everyone comes to see me." And, he thought, because the former Vengeance Demon almost exclusively cared about two things: Xander and money, usually in that order. Although… "Unless you're also here to talk about Xander." The man had been involved in Rick's stag night, after all.
She shook her head. "I already spoke with him. He assured me that he did nothing untowards with another woman."
Rick nodded. "He didn't. Neither did I or Giles, of course," he quickly added. The unattached men who had attended his stag night would have to fend for themselves.
She frowned. "I wasn't concerned about the stag night, but I have to watch out at the wedding. At weddings, women get ideas. And I don't want them to get the wrong ideas about my Xander!"
"Of course not." Rick made a mental note to make sure that the guests not in the know about the supernatural would be informed that Anya was a very jealous and occasionally violent woman. And maybe he'd tell Gina that Xander was very rich. He cleared his throat. "You mentioned money."
"Yes." She nodded in that slightly exaggerated manner of hers. "I was informed that you haven't made a prenuptial agreement, so I prepared one for you. It'll save you a lot of money in your divorce."
"I'm not planning to divorce Kate. Especially not before the wedding."
"Well, you should. Failing to plan ahead is one of the most common causes for substantial financial losses. Even taking my commission into account, this agreement will save you a small fortune."
"Your commission?"
She nodded. "I deserve a reward for saving you money, don't I?"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I told you: I'm not planning to divorce her. We're not getting divorced."
"Well, your history indicates otherwise. You divorced all your earlier wives, after all. That's a clear trend."
He clenched his teeth. "Third time's a charm, as the saying goes."
"The saying also goes: Better safe than sorry." She smiled in that slightly too wide way of hers.
Rick was sure that it wouldn't be very safe to propose whatever agreement Anya had prepared to Kate. "I'll be thinking about it."
"That means 'no', right?"
"Yes." He nodded.
"Yes?" she asked with a hopeful expression.
"No. It's just a polite way to tell you that I won't be making a pre-nup with Kate," he clarified.
She pouted. "I don't see what's so polite about getting a girl's hopes up."
"Well, most people understand what it means."
"Then it makes even less sense. Why should you lie if everyone is supposed to know that you're lying?" She shook her head.
Rick shrugged. He really wasn't in the mood to discuss the trappings of modern society with a thousand years old former Viking. Or Norsewoman. "It's probably our ancestors' fault for starting it."
"Well, no wonder we raided them, then!" Anya retorted.
"Actually, this may have started sometime after the Norman invasion," Rick said, "so it would be your ancestors' fault."
She sniffed. "Those weren't my ancestors. They were obviously assimilated by the French before conquering the British."
"Let's blame the French for this duplicity, then, alright?" Rick said with a smile. After all of the money their fashion industry had drained from his accounts thanks to the redheads in his life, they deserved this anyway.
"...and I came home afterwards. Just another boring patrol." Sitting on Rick's desk, Vi made a show of yawning and stretching despite the clock on the wall showing that it was barely midnight.
"I don't like this!" Rick Castle said.
Vi looked doubtful. "I'd certainly like some action, but you should be glad it's boring. You don't want to attend your wedding while injured, do you?" She pointed at a bruise on her upper arm. "Without magical healing, this would last a week or two, and the wedding's in two days."
"I don't want 'action', as you put it," Rick explained. "But it's too quiet. Right before the wedding, that means something's afoot."
"Or every demon has either fled or is lying low because Willow's in town. And Buffy and Faith." Vi shrugged. "Burning down Clarke's will have driven away a few more," Castle's Slayer added with a reproachful glance at him.
He ignored that. It wasn't his fault, anyway. And it wasn't as if she had a monopoly on demon slaying. Or arson. The more the merrier. For demon slaying, at least. "No. Something is brewing. The wedding - they'll strike at the wedding."
"Are you certain that you're not simply projecting your own anxiety faced with your third marriage?"
He shook his head. "Of course not!" He had gone through this twice before, after all. There was no reason to be anxious unless demons were involved. Or Gina. And Gina wasn't involved, other than handling the car prank. So it had to be demons. His gut told him so, and his gut wouldn't lie to him. Unless it concerned spicy food.
He had to find a way to carry his flamethrower at his wedding. Just to be ready for anything.
He should have held his stag night on the eve of his wedding, Richard Castle thought as he was faced with an angry fiancée. The groom wasn't allowed to see the bride until the ceremony, after all.
"So… you have no idea how your car ended up on the precinct's roof." Kate had her arms crossed an expression on her face she usually reserved for the interrogation of suspects.
"I suspect a prank by someone with supernatural powers. Like a witch," Rick said. It wasn't even a lie - Giles was no Willow and couldn't simply float or teleport a car on a roof, but he had enough talent and skill to mute a helicopter.
"Or a Slayer?"
"I would never suspect Vi, Buffy or Kennedy of doing such a thing," Rick quickly said. Only a fool would try to frame a Slayer. Like Xander. Or Dawn - but she only did that with Buffy, so that didn't count.
"You didn't mention Faith."
"Well…" He winced. "I'm not exactly certain if she would be more offended if I falsely accused her of doing such a thing, or if I claimed that she would never do such a thing."
"Even with supernatural strength it would be difficult to lift a car to the roof without being spotted."
"Not exactly. The side alley is not really patrolled, and the camera there has a blind spot." Vi had used that a few times to sneak into the Precinct. "Granted, it's probably not large enough to carry a car through, but still…" he trailed off. "I'm not helping my case, am I?"
Kate shook her head.
He cleared his throat. "Well, I can guarantee you that if that miniscule hole in the precinct's security was used to transport a car on its roof, it was done without my knowledge."
"That's remarkably specific." She narrowed her eyes.
"Really?" He gave her his best innocent look. Judging by her frown, it wasn't enough. Story of his life. He tried another tack. "In any case, I don't understand why people are making such a big fuss about this. I'm the car's owner, and I'm not that concerned. Isn't this just illegal parking?"
"What?" She looked surprised, but recovered quickly. "And trespassing. Probably breaking and entering, too."
"I honestly doubt that they - whoever they are - actually took the car inside the precinct," he quickly said. "And trespassing isn't exactly a capital crime either." Didn't diplomats use their immunity to ignore parking tickets all the time? Giles couldn't object to that, could he?
"What did you do, Castle?"
"Me?" He touched his chest. "I told you, I have no idea."
"You have several theories, at the very least, which you just mentioned."
His mother had always told him that he was too clever for his own good. "Mere speculation after the fact."
She rolled her eyes at that. "Castle, stop stalling. The press has caught wind of this, and the Captain's not happy."
Rick winced. This complicated things. And Kate knew that he wasn't as innocent as he claimed. Should he blame the alcohol? Or… "Let's blame my ex-wife. Second ex-wife, I mean."
"What?" She had that cute surprised look again, with her mouth half-open. As if she couldn't believe what he had just said.
"Publicity stunt. Unapproved, of course. By me, that is."
Kate snorted. "I somehow doubt that Gina will go along with this."
Rick grinned confidently. "Trust me - she'll do anything for money. And this is a good publicity stunt." Maybe he should add such a scene to his next book.
And, he added after he saw Kate frown, maybe he shouldn't show so much enthusiasm for the prank after he had spent so much time and effort denying any involvement in it. Even if it was a good prank.
*****
"Rick? I need to talk to you." Anya strode into Rick's office.
"You and everyone else." After spending months preparing for the wedding, it was remarkable how many things hadn't been settled yet, Rick Castle thought.
Anya looked around. "I don't see anyone else here."
"You caught me during one of the few times I've got a little peace." Of course, hiding where everyone looked for him first might not have been a good idea. Hindsight almost always was 20/20.
"Good." She nodded, apparently happy about this, instead of taking the hint that he needed a break. "We have to talk about an important thing which I think has been neglected so far."
"Money?"
She blinked. "Yes. How did you know?"
"Because that's the reason for which everyone comes to see me." And, he thought, because the former Vengeance Demon almost exclusively cared about two things: Xander and money, usually in that order. Although… "Unless you're also here to talk about Xander." The man had been involved in Rick's stag night, after all.
She shook her head. "I already spoke with him. He assured me that he did nothing untowards with another woman."
Rick nodded. "He didn't. Neither did I or Giles, of course," he quickly added. The unattached men who had attended his stag night would have to fend for themselves.
She frowned. "I wasn't concerned about the stag night, but I have to watch out at the wedding. At weddings, women get ideas. And I don't want them to get the wrong ideas about my Xander!"
"Of course not." Rick made a mental note to make sure that the guests not in the know about the supernatural would be informed that Anya was a very jealous and occasionally violent woman. And maybe he'd tell Gina that Xander was very rich. He cleared his throat. "You mentioned money."
"Yes." She nodded in that slightly exaggerated manner of hers. "I was informed that you haven't made a prenuptial agreement, so I prepared one for you. It'll save you a lot of money in your divorce."
"I'm not planning to divorce Kate. Especially not before the wedding."
"Well, you should. Failing to plan ahead is one of the most common causes for substantial financial losses. Even taking my commission into account, this agreement will save you a small fortune."
"Your commission?"
She nodded. "I deserve a reward for saving you money, don't I?"
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I told you: I'm not planning to divorce her. We're not getting divorced."
"Well, your history indicates otherwise. You divorced all your earlier wives, after all. That's a clear trend."
He clenched his teeth. "Third time's a charm, as the saying goes."
"The saying also goes: Better safe than sorry." She smiled in that slightly too wide way of hers.
Rick was sure that it wouldn't be very safe to propose whatever agreement Anya had prepared to Kate. "I'll be thinking about it."
"That means 'no', right?"
"Yes." He nodded.
"Yes?" she asked with a hopeful expression.
"No. It's just a polite way to tell you that I won't be making a pre-nup with Kate," he clarified.
She pouted. "I don't see what's so polite about getting a girl's hopes up."
"Well, most people understand what it means."
"Then it makes even less sense. Why should you lie if everyone is supposed to know that you're lying?" She shook her head.
Rick shrugged. He really wasn't in the mood to discuss the trappings of modern society with a thousand years old former Viking. Or Norsewoman. "It's probably our ancestors' fault for starting it."
"Well, no wonder we raided them, then!" Anya retorted.
"Actually, this may have started sometime after the Norman invasion," Rick said, "so it would be your ancestors' fault."
She sniffed. "Those weren't my ancestors. They were obviously assimilated by the French before conquering the British."
"Let's blame the French for this duplicity, then, alright?" Rick said with a smile. After all of the money their fashion industry had drained from his accounts thanks to the redheads in his life, they deserved this anyway.
*****
"...and I came home afterwards. Just another boring patrol." Sitting on Rick's desk, Vi made a show of yawning and stretching despite the clock on the wall showing that it was barely midnight.
"I don't like this!" Rick Castle said.
Vi looked doubtful. "I'd certainly like some action, but you should be glad it's boring. You don't want to attend your wedding while injured, do you?" She pointed at a bruise on her upper arm. "Without magical healing, this would last a week or two, and the wedding's in two days."
"I don't want 'action', as you put it," Rick explained. "But it's too quiet. Right before the wedding, that means something's afoot."
"Or every demon has either fled or is lying low because Willow's in town. And Buffy and Faith." Vi shrugged. "Burning down Clarke's will have driven away a few more," Castle's Slayer added with a reproachful glance at him.
He ignored that. It wasn't his fault, anyway. And it wasn't as if she had a monopoly on demon slaying. Or arson. The more the merrier. For demon slaying, at least. "No. Something is brewing. The wedding - they'll strike at the wedding."
"Are you certain that you're not simply projecting your own anxiety faced with your third marriage?"
He shook his head. "Of course not!" He had gone through this twice before, after all. There was no reason to be anxious unless demons were involved. Or Gina. And Gina wasn't involved, other than handling the car prank. So it had to be demons. His gut told him so, and his gut wouldn't lie to him. Unless it concerned spicy food.
He had to find a way to carry his flamethrower at his wedding. Just to be ready for anything.
*****
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steamrick
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If you succeed, all the Slayers will want to show up to their weddings with a flamethrower...
New York, May 2010
Starfox5
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New York, May 2010
"You won't be carrying any flamethrower in the church, Castle."
"But Kate! It's for our safety! When the demons storm the premises I need to be able to defend us!" Rick Castle said with all the passion he could muster. "You should carry your shotgun, too - we can hide it in the bouquet."
Kate was staring at him, then scoffed. "And brain the female guests with it afterwards when they try to catch it?"
"I don't think the bouquet will survive the shooting," he reasonably pointed out. "We should check your bridal dress too - can you fight in it?"
"Castle."
"Maybe see if it can be ditched quickly. Weaken the seams or something?" It worked in the movies, after all. "Or can we get a kevlar version?" Months of preparations, and they had completely missed the most important parts! He started to pace in front of his desk.
"Castle!"
"In fact, we should probably hold the ceremony in the open. The sun will keep vampires away. The reception as well. We can claim that we converted to a nature church, or became Wiccas, to explain it to the other guests." Catering should be able to handle it. They could double up on the finger food, and skip the meal. "We can protect the perimeter with Claymore mines and flame traps." He still remembered how to build those from Sunnydale.
"Castle..."
"Bombs! Demons could use bombs! We need dog patrols too. Sniffer dogs. And Poison! Canaries should work. Do pet shops deliver?"
"Pet shops don't sell sniffer dogs, Castle."
"What? Why not? That's discrimination! Or something. Where can we get sniffer dogs then?"
"We don't need sniffer dogs, Castle."
"Of course we do!" What was the woman thinking? "Slayers aren't trained to detect explosives. And we can't teach them in just two days. Or could we? They're Slayers, after all, not dogs. Of course we can! We just need samples of explosives for them to sniff! I'm sure Dad can deliver a wide range of all sorts of explosives." He probably had tons of them stashed all over the city - it's what Castle would have done in his place.
"Castle, are you planning to get bombs for our wedding?"
"We need them to be safe!"
"Castle… how much have you slept last night?"
"I haven't slept at all. I had to plan the improved security measures."
Why was she staring at him like that?
"Alright," Rick Castle said an hour later in the most reasonable tone he managed, "I might have been overreacting a little." Not enough to deserve this, at least.
"A little?" Kate snorted. "You were talking about procuring explosives to train Slayers as sniffer dogs!"
He would have also used the explosives afterwards to secure the perimeter with more traps, but Rick didn't think it would be smart to mention this. Vi was still glaring at him from where she was leaning against the wall. "I may have panicked, but you can't deny that the threat is real." A lot of demons wanted him dead. Even more wanted the Scoobies dead. And Gina's soul must be a prize among the demons. Probably the holy grail - or would that be unholy? - for collectors of corrupted souls.
"That's why Buffy, Willow and Xander are handling the security." At least Kate was smiling again at him.
"They are guests. They'll be distracted." Rick's third wedding was the event of the year, after all. At least for the Council. And Xander would probably barely be able to move with Anya clinging jealously to his side.
"Willow already has cast her spells on the Church and the reception area. Do you think any demon can match her?" Alexis asked from his other side. He felt slightly surrounded and outnumbered. At least Mother was out shopping or something.
But his daughter, as usual, had made a good point. "Probably not," he admitted. "But magic isn't everything."
"I'm your bodyguard!" Vi said. "Anything that can get through me wouldn't have been stopped by anyone anyway!"
Kate nodded. "We also have normal physical security. And Hunt will be attending in disguise. And if he can ignore you for forty years to keep you safe, then he will certainly not let your wedding distract him in any way."
Rick thought that he detected some resentment in her tone. Or maybe it was just exasperation. Having lost her mother, she had a strong opinion on parents choosing to leave their children. "My stepmother might be present as well. In disguise. Or watching from a sniper's nest."
"Granddad didn't mention that to us," Alexis said.
"He didn't say anything to me either," Rick admitted. "But I have a feeling that he would ask her to help provide covert security." He noticed the three exchange glances, and scowled. "It's a reasonable expectation knowing my father and his habits." Well, it depended on whether or not his father had heeded Rick's advice about telling her the truth. But it would fit well into a story!
"In any case," Alexis said, "this just means that the wedding is even safer than we assume."
"Which means your paranoia is just you being jittery about marrying again," Vi commented.
"It's not paranoia when they are really out to get you!" he countered.
"It's paranoia when you pull an overnighter a day before your wedding to search the internet for bomb detectors," Alexis retorted.
"And bombs," Vi added. "Willow had to remove your name from a few watchlists."
She did that regularly, so Castle wasn't worried. A writer had to research such topics, anyway. He shrugged, then flashed his most charming smile at them. "So… now that this has been cleared up, could you tell Willow to remove the spell that's keeping me in bed?"
"No," his traitorous daughter stated in that overly serious tone she often used when addressing him over a minor issue. "You need to rest, Dad. The spell will end tomorrow morning."
"And we can't spend the night keeping an eye on you in case you have a relapse," Vi said.
"Or decide to get drunk and do another publicity stunt." Kate added with a snort.
"That wasn't my idea," he shot back. "And I don't remember anything anyway." That was his story and he was sticking to it! "But what if I have to go to the bathroom?"
"Use the bedpan." Vi pointed at the side of his bed.
He looked at it. "Wasn't that for when someone's stuck to their bed for medical reasons?"
"Sleep deprivation is a medical condition," Alexis said.
"As is paranoia," Kate added.
Both smiled and Vi laughed, and all three left before he could come up with a comeback.
Maybe he did need his sleep, after all - he usually was more witty. But he still wasn't convinced that he was entirely wrong about the danger.
"I still say that we should play it safe. Cancel the wedding and cancel it again, so the third time will work out," Richard Castle whispered.
"I'm afraid to say that there are several flaws in your plan, my friend," Rupert, standing at his side, said. "First, this is your third wedding. Second, 'gaming the system', as Xander calls it, usually doesn't work when the rule of three or magic in general is concerned. And third, I dare say that if you call off the wedding while standing at the altar, there might not be a second attempt at all. Your intended would certainly take grievous offense at such a slight."
"You might be right," Rick grudgingly admitted as the next hymn started up. "I still want my flamethrower with me, though." Or at least close by.
"Leaving aside the wisdom of defying your future wife, a flamethrower is not an ideal weapon for fighting in a church full of civilians. The firearms you and the groomsmen carry should be more suitable should the improbable occur and an attack take place."
Rick glared at his best man. Rupert remained unfazed, of course. If you had to deal with the Scoobies' antics each day, the reasonable concerns of a fellow watcher would seem minor issues to him. Rick wouldn't be able to convince him.
He sighed and surreptitiously looked around the church again. Javier, Kevin and Xander were at the door. Nothing would get through there even if Willow's spells should fail. Faith and Kennedy were sitting with the witch on the groom's side and he knew that if needed, the two Slayers could be at any entrance in a second.
"Patience, Richard," Rupert interrupted his inspection. "Buffy and Vi are with Kate, Alexis and Lanie. They will arrive on schedule."
"Not if Buffy decides to drive," Rick muttered. Not that Vi would let her.
"Then they'll simply wait inside the area protected by the spells."
"Or have to make a detour to the hospital, to treat the heart attack her driving would cause to my future father-in-law."
Rupert actually laughed at that! Talk about British black humour! Of course it fit the decidedly British style of the entire wedding. Alexis's work, Rick thought. And probably Rupert's too - the man could be remarkably subtle and underhanded when he wanted to. Well, a British wedding on American soil might ruffle Mary's feathers some, which was a good thing. Show her that the Colonials could do ceremonies as well as the Mother Country. He glanced at his first wife, who was sitting on the bride's side. She didn't look ruffled, alas. At least Gina had had the decency not to attend. Not that she had been invited anyway. And the Fed-Ex was still in Alaska. Or Ontario. Or wherever he had been transferred to.
And his mother was chatting up another old friend of Rupert's parents. Or renewing their acquaintance - Rick wasn't certain, but she might have met the man at his first wedding. Although his mother flirting was better than her spreading embarrassing stories about him.
A flash almost made him draw his Glock, but it was just the stupid photographer Jane Varshney had brought with her to cover the wedding. He had been told not to do that! Rick wanted to give the man a piece of his mind, but a security man was already handling it. A security man looking remarkably like his father, Rick realised. No wonder he hadn't spotted him among the guests! Rick quickly tried to spot his stepmother among the female security staff, but couldn't see anyone who fit his expectations - but then, she would have chosen a disguise that wouldn't fit his expectations anyway, wouldn't she?
He checked if Andrew was sitting still and not trying to help with security - which the man wasn't supposed to; Rick shuddered at the thought of what could have happened on his stag night had Andrew not been such a lightweight that he had passed out before the real fun stuff had even started - and then looked at the door again. Shouldn't Kate have arrived by now? The groomsmen were not moving.
As if on cue, the Wedding March started, and the groomsmen were escorting the bridesmaids inside. Buffy, Vi, Alexis and Lanie entered, looking as radiant as the money he had paid for the dresses had promised. And so grown up, he thought with another glance at Alexis. Javier looked to be paying a little too much attention to Lanie for Vi's ego, Castle noticed. Maybe he should have a talk with his Slayer later.
But then Kate arrived, on the arm of her father, and he forgot everything and everyone else. The way she walked down the aisle, the way her dress hugged her curves, the faint and just a little shy smile under the thin veil…
A subtle elbow from Rupert shook him out of his daze in time to hear the priest. Not that he cared much about what the man was saying, but it simply wouldn't do to miss his cue. Kate deserved no less than a perfect wedding.
And then the time had finally come to say their vows.
"I, Richard Edgar Castle, take thee, Katherine Houghton Beckett, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow."
"I, Katherine Houghton Beckett, take thee, Richard Edgar Castle, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow."
He had a moment to realise that they had actually done it - that the wedding had happened without any demon attack or other incident - but then it was time to kiss the bride, and Rick forgot everything and everyone but Kate again.
The End.
"You won't be carrying any flamethrower in the church, Castle."
"But Kate! It's for our safety! When the demons storm the premises I need to be able to defend us!" Rick Castle said with all the passion he could muster. "You should carry your shotgun, too - we can hide it in the bouquet."
Kate was staring at him, then scoffed. "And brain the female guests with it afterwards when they try to catch it?"
"I don't think the bouquet will survive the shooting," he reasonably pointed out. "We should check your bridal dress too - can you fight in it?"
"Castle."
"Maybe see if it can be ditched quickly. Weaken the seams or something?" It worked in the movies, after all. "Or can we get a kevlar version?" Months of preparations, and they had completely missed the most important parts! He started to pace in front of his desk.
"Castle!"
"In fact, we should probably hold the ceremony in the open. The sun will keep vampires away. The reception as well. We can claim that we converted to a nature church, or became Wiccas, to explain it to the other guests." Catering should be able to handle it. They could double up on the finger food, and skip the meal. "We can protect the perimeter with Claymore mines and flame traps." He still remembered how to build those from Sunnydale.
"Castle..."
"Bombs! Demons could use bombs! We need dog patrols too. Sniffer dogs. And Poison! Canaries should work. Do pet shops deliver?"
"Pet shops don't sell sniffer dogs, Castle."
"What? Why not? That's discrimination! Or something. Where can we get sniffer dogs then?"
"We don't need sniffer dogs, Castle."
"Of course we do!" What was the woman thinking? "Slayers aren't trained to detect explosives. And we can't teach them in just two days. Or could we? They're Slayers, after all, not dogs. Of course we can! We just need samples of explosives for them to sniff! I'm sure Dad can deliver a wide range of all sorts of explosives." He probably had tons of them stashed all over the city - it's what Castle would have done in his place.
"Castle, are you planning to get bombs for our wedding?"
"We need them to be safe!"
"Castle… how much have you slept last night?"
"I haven't slept at all. I had to plan the improved security measures."
Why was she staring at him like that?
*****
"Alright," Rick Castle said an hour later in the most reasonable tone he managed, "I might have been overreacting a little." Not enough to deserve this, at least.
"A little?" Kate snorted. "You were talking about procuring explosives to train Slayers as sniffer dogs!"
He would have also used the explosives afterwards to secure the perimeter with more traps, but Rick didn't think it would be smart to mention this. Vi was still glaring at him from where she was leaning against the wall. "I may have panicked, but you can't deny that the threat is real." A lot of demons wanted him dead. Even more wanted the Scoobies dead. And Gina's soul must be a prize among the demons. Probably the holy grail - or would that be unholy? - for collectors of corrupted souls.
"That's why Buffy, Willow and Xander are handling the security." At least Kate was smiling again at him.
"They are guests. They'll be distracted." Rick's third wedding was the event of the year, after all. At least for the Council. And Xander would probably barely be able to move with Anya clinging jealously to his side.
"Willow already has cast her spells on the Church and the reception area. Do you think any demon can match her?" Alexis asked from his other side. He felt slightly surrounded and outnumbered. At least Mother was out shopping or something.
But his daughter, as usual, had made a good point. "Probably not," he admitted. "But magic isn't everything."
"I'm your bodyguard!" Vi said. "Anything that can get through me wouldn't have been stopped by anyone anyway!"
Kate nodded. "We also have normal physical security. And Hunt will be attending in disguise. And if he can ignore you for forty years to keep you safe, then he will certainly not let your wedding distract him in any way."
Rick thought that he detected some resentment in her tone. Or maybe it was just exasperation. Having lost her mother, she had a strong opinion on parents choosing to leave their children. "My stepmother might be present as well. In disguise. Or watching from a sniper's nest."
"Granddad didn't mention that to us," Alexis said.
"He didn't say anything to me either," Rick admitted. "But I have a feeling that he would ask her to help provide covert security." He noticed the three exchange glances, and scowled. "It's a reasonable expectation knowing my father and his habits." Well, it depended on whether or not his father had heeded Rick's advice about telling her the truth. But it would fit well into a story!
"In any case," Alexis said, "this just means that the wedding is even safer than we assume."
"Which means your paranoia is just you being jittery about marrying again," Vi commented.
"It's not paranoia when they are really out to get you!" he countered.
"It's paranoia when you pull an overnighter a day before your wedding to search the internet for bomb detectors," Alexis retorted.
"And bombs," Vi added. "Willow had to remove your name from a few watchlists."
She did that regularly, so Castle wasn't worried. A writer had to research such topics, anyway. He shrugged, then flashed his most charming smile at them. "So… now that this has been cleared up, could you tell Willow to remove the spell that's keeping me in bed?"
"No," his traitorous daughter stated in that overly serious tone she often used when addressing him over a minor issue. "You need to rest, Dad. The spell will end tomorrow morning."
"And we can't spend the night keeping an eye on you in case you have a relapse," Vi said.
"Or decide to get drunk and do another publicity stunt." Kate added with a snort.
"That wasn't my idea," he shot back. "And I don't remember anything anyway." That was his story and he was sticking to it! "But what if I have to go to the bathroom?"
"Use the bedpan." Vi pointed at the side of his bed.
He looked at it. "Wasn't that for when someone's stuck to their bed for medical reasons?"
"Sleep deprivation is a medical condition," Alexis said.
"As is paranoia," Kate added.
Both smiled and Vi laughed, and all three left before he could come up with a comeback.
Maybe he did need his sleep, after all - he usually was more witty. But he still wasn't convinced that he was entirely wrong about the danger.
*****
"I still say that we should play it safe. Cancel the wedding and cancel it again, so the third time will work out," Richard Castle whispered.
"I'm afraid to say that there are several flaws in your plan, my friend," Rupert, standing at his side, said. "First, this is your third wedding. Second, 'gaming the system', as Xander calls it, usually doesn't work when the rule of three or magic in general is concerned. And third, I dare say that if you call off the wedding while standing at the altar, there might not be a second attempt at all. Your intended would certainly take grievous offense at such a slight."
"You might be right," Rick grudgingly admitted as the next hymn started up. "I still want my flamethrower with me, though." Or at least close by.
"Leaving aside the wisdom of defying your future wife, a flamethrower is not an ideal weapon for fighting in a church full of civilians. The firearms you and the groomsmen carry should be more suitable should the improbable occur and an attack take place."
Rick glared at his best man. Rupert remained unfazed, of course. If you had to deal with the Scoobies' antics each day, the reasonable concerns of a fellow watcher would seem minor issues to him. Rick wouldn't be able to convince him.
He sighed and surreptitiously looked around the church again. Javier, Kevin and Xander were at the door. Nothing would get through there even if Willow's spells should fail. Faith and Kennedy were sitting with the witch on the groom's side and he knew that if needed, the two Slayers could be at any entrance in a second.
"Patience, Richard," Rupert interrupted his inspection. "Buffy and Vi are with Kate, Alexis and Lanie. They will arrive on schedule."
"Not if Buffy decides to drive," Rick muttered. Not that Vi would let her.
"Then they'll simply wait inside the area protected by the spells."
"Or have to make a detour to the hospital, to treat the heart attack her driving would cause to my future father-in-law."
Rupert actually laughed at that! Talk about British black humour! Of course it fit the decidedly British style of the entire wedding. Alexis's work, Rick thought. And probably Rupert's too - the man could be remarkably subtle and underhanded when he wanted to. Well, a British wedding on American soil might ruffle Mary's feathers some, which was a good thing. Show her that the Colonials could do ceremonies as well as the Mother Country. He glanced at his first wife, who was sitting on the bride's side. She didn't look ruffled, alas. At least Gina had had the decency not to attend. Not that she had been invited anyway. And the Fed-Ex was still in Alaska. Or Ontario. Or wherever he had been transferred to.
And his mother was chatting up another old friend of Rupert's parents. Or renewing their acquaintance - Rick wasn't certain, but she might have met the man at his first wedding. Although his mother flirting was better than her spreading embarrassing stories about him.
A flash almost made him draw his Glock, but it was just the stupid photographer Jane Varshney had brought with her to cover the wedding. He had been told not to do that! Rick wanted to give the man a piece of his mind, but a security man was already handling it. A security man looking remarkably like his father, Rick realised. No wonder he hadn't spotted him among the guests! Rick quickly tried to spot his stepmother among the female security staff, but couldn't see anyone who fit his expectations - but then, she would have chosen a disguise that wouldn't fit his expectations anyway, wouldn't she?
He checked if Andrew was sitting still and not trying to help with security - which the man wasn't supposed to; Rick shuddered at the thought of what could have happened on his stag night had Andrew not been such a lightweight that he had passed out before the real fun stuff had even started - and then looked at the door again. Shouldn't Kate have arrived by now? The groomsmen were not moving.
As if on cue, the Wedding March started, and the groomsmen were escorting the bridesmaids inside. Buffy, Vi, Alexis and Lanie entered, looking as radiant as the money he had paid for the dresses had promised. And so grown up, he thought with another glance at Alexis. Javier looked to be paying a little too much attention to Lanie for Vi's ego, Castle noticed. Maybe he should have a talk with his Slayer later.
But then Kate arrived, on the arm of her father, and he forgot everything and everyone else. The way she walked down the aisle, the way her dress hugged her curves, the faint and just a little shy smile under the thin veil…
A subtle elbow from Rupert shook him out of his daze in time to hear the priest. Not that he cared much about what the man was saying, but it simply wouldn't do to miss his cue. Kate deserved no less than a perfect wedding.
And then the time had finally come to say their vows.
"I, Richard Edgar Castle, take thee, Katherine Houghton Beckett, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow."
"I, Katherine Houghton Beckett, take thee, Richard Edgar Castle, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God's holy law, and this is my solemn vow."
He had a moment to realise that they had actually done it - that the wedding had happened without any demon attack or other incident - but then it was time to kiss the bride, and Rick forgot everything and everyone but Kate again.
*****
The End.
*****
Last edited:
steamrick
Matter: protons, electrons, neutrons and morons
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In his defense, I'd have laughed, too, and I'm not British.
I'm sad to see it go, but it's a good chapter to end it on, I guess.
Thank you for sharing with us
Nangal
Getting out there.
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In his defense, I'd have laughed, too, and I'm not British.
I'm sad to see it go, but it's a good chapter to end it on, I guess.
Thank you for sharing with us
Yeah. I agree with Steamrick. This was a good chapter to have the ending on.
Last edited:
macdjord
Well worn.
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So, with this now finished, I'm doing a full reread. I've found a couple typos:
The comma after 'long' should be a period.
Delete the first 'he'.
Comma before 'with'.
Comma before 'and'.
Need another dash after 'fanatic'.
'than' should be 'as'.
Add a comma after 'time'.
Delete 'shot'.
'escaped' should be 'vanished' - you don't escape a hospital, unless you're under arrest or something.
Period after 'maybe' should be a question mark.
'until' should be 'by the time'.
'and interfere' should be 'and would interfere'.
Comma after 'course'.
'Fedex' should be 'FedEx'.
Lose the comma.
Add a comma after 'roared'.
Seals aren't generally considered 'fluffy'. Maybe 'trainable' instead?
'will not' should be 'won't'.
'hide' should be 'idea'.
Single quotes, not double, around 'Days of our Slaying Lives'.
Add a comma after 'her'.
Lose the comma.
'cliché' should be 'clichéd'
What results? Autopsy? Test?
Hyphenate 'soon-to-be'
'how the victim's car was towed off' is awkward; I suggest 'the victim's car being towed off' instead.
'records' should be 'recordings'.
Missing closing quote.
Comma should be a semi-colon.
Comma after 'silk' should be a dash.
'TV' should be capitalized.
'skunk' should be 'skank'.
'explits' should be 'exploits'.
Missing the period on 'Mrs.'.
'conspiracies'
Comma after 'heard'.
Bold is preferred over allcaps for expressing volume.
'Californians'
Again, bold, not caps.
Comma after 'thing'.
Comma after 'librarian' should be a period.
Comma after 'larger'.
'middle' makes it sound like he's physically inside the remains; I'd suggest 'midst' instead.
Lose the comma after 'Apparently'.
The comma after 'long' should be a period.
'ahhh' makes me think more of a sigh than a scream. Maybe 'aaaaaah', with the long 'a' and the italics for emphasis?
'I've got to'
For someone who's getting cut off, a dash would be better than an ellipsis.
'had just become'.
Is he trying to say that they would play it specifically to torture him, or that it's so bad that they would play it in hell in general? If the second, 'they'd' should be 'they'.
Comma after 'going'.
'substantive' should be 'substantial'.
Capitalize 'always'.
'haven't should be 'don't'.
'would' should be 'had'.
First two parts are redundant. Either delete 'At least Rick had thought so.', or change his dialogue to 'Ordnance doesn't go off when dropped.'.
This should either be 'Finding it by conventional means can be considered impossible.' or 'The odds of finding it by conventional means border on impossible.'
'that well' should be 'well enough'.
Comma after 'no'.
'bursts'.
'They are' should be 'They're'.
Comma after 'ammo'.
Missing space between 'over' and 'was'.
Comma after 'family' should be a period.
'do' should be 'make do'.
'fight or hunt' should be 'fighting or hunting'.
Comma after 'tonight' should be a period.
'demon' should be 'demons'.
Delete the first 'he'.
Comma before 'with'.
Missing opening quote before 'Can'.
'who's getting' should be 'who gets'.
'handle', 'book', and 'shoot' should be 'handling', 'booking', and 'shooting'.
Comma before 'and'.
Comma after 'Perlmutter'.
Add 'who's' after 'mayor'.
'half as faithful'
Need another dash after 'fanatic'.
'than' should be 'as'.
Comma after 'everyone' should be a period.
'Bit small'
Comma after both 'Hello's.
'that' should be 'this'.
Missing opening quote before 'No'.
Lose the comma after 'caught'.
Add a comma after 'time'.
Add a comma after 'criminals'.
Comma should be semi-colon.
Comma after 'demony'.
'Lets' should be 'Let's'.
'casserole' should be 'casserole dish'.
Comma after 'sexy'.
Missing the closing quote before and opening quote after 'she glanced at the driving license in the purse'.
Stray period after the comma.
'vampire-y'
'needed'
Comma after 'PCP' should be a period.
Lose the comma.
Delete 'shot'.
Delete the comma after 'kittens' and add 'that'.
Delete the comma after 'that'.
'slamming' should be 'slam'.
Capitalize 'Please'.
Delete the comma after 'Apparently'.
I don't think you can rent kittens. 'rent a car and buy a dozen kittens', maybe?
'that well' should be 'as well'.
Comma after 'of'.
'heads'.
Stray comma before the period.
'We've'
'which' should be 'whom'.
'escaped' should be 'vanished' - you don't escape a hospital, unless you're under arrest or something.
The Onion is a satire site, not a tabloid. They don't 'print' any stories, no matter how fantastic or improbable; they make up their own. The National Enquirer would be a better choice.
Lose the comma.
'there was' should be 'there is'.
'is worse'.
Comma should be a semi-colon.
'I'm'
Delete 'my'.
'The police follow the law!'
Capitalize 'detective'.
'well' should be 'good'.
'OK' or 'Okay'.
'he breeds' should be 'they breed'.
'has been' should be 'was'.
'some' should be 'a'.
There seems to be a missing sentence in the middle here, where the monster makes some counterattack.
Awkward phrasing. Suggest 'waiting for an opportunity like this since we'.
'any books'.
Period after 'maybe' should be a question mark.
'any tomes or grimoires'.
'until' should be 'by the time'.
'he' should be 'he'd'.
Capitalize 'the'.
'circumventing'.
'consciences'
Lose the comma.
'and interfere' should be 'and would interfere'.
'this building'
Stray period after 'demon'.
Comma after 'either' should be a semi-colon.
'inverted' should be 'reversed'.
'who' should be 'which'.
'anyone' should be 'someone'.
'they' should be 'they'.
'wouldn't have' should be 'hadn't'.
Comma after 'Unless'.
Comma after 'course'.
Comma after 'clothes'.
Comma after 'Hi'.
'with' should be 'by'.
'Fedex' should be 'FedEx'.
Trailing comma should be a period.
'had gotten one over Castle, or had gotten one over him'? That doesn't make sense.
'They've grown' should be 'They grew'.
'able' should be 'table'.
'I' should be 'that I'.
Missing opening quote.
Missing blank line between paragraphs.
'sue' should be 'use'.
You had this same exchange a case or two ago, only it was Beckett who called her a bloodhound, thus implying - deliberately, in her case - that she's a bitch.
Missing opening quote before 'so'.
'he' should be 'he'd'.
'knocked'.
Comma should be a semi-colon.
Comma after 'Since'.
Lose the comma after 'strong'.
You've got two closing quotes - I'm not sure which one is incorrect, but one of them must be.
Missing opening quote before 'I saw'.
Double period.
'did he' should be 'would he'.
Lose the spaces before each ellipsis.
Comma after 'frustratingly'.
Closing quote after 'raised' should be after 'only'.
'are not' should be 'aren't'.
'Are they avoiding' should be 'Do they avoid'.
'are generally avoiding' should be 'generally avoid'.
'is' should be 'his'.
Lose the comma.
Period should be a question mark.
Lose the comma after 'skin'.
Add a comma after 'roared'.
'pout' should be 'was being put'.
'Ricks' should be 'Rick's'.
Missing quotes around 'we need to leave.'.
'hr' should be 'her'.
Aaaand there's the exact same joke for the 3rd time.
'Scoobies Cali-speak' should be 'Scoobies' Cali-speak'
'safe' should be 'save'.
Seals aren't generally considered 'fluffy'. Maybe 'trainable' instead?
The 'he' in 'he was hurt' is ambiguous.
Lose the comma.
'same' should be 'same one'.
'didn't they free' should be 'haven't they freed'
'found' should be 'find'; 'wanted' should be 'want'.
'had turned' should be 'was'.
Lose the comma'.
'will not' should be 'won't'.
'clichée' should be 'clichéd'.
'have no better' is awkward; suggest 'don't have a better'.
'hide' should be 'idea'.
'were slowly making' would sound better as 'slowly made'.
Lose the comma.
Delete the second 'episode'.
Single quotes, not double, around 'Days of our Slaying Lives'.
'we' should be 'we've' and 'they' should be 'they've'.
Decapitalize 'we'.
Delete 'again'.
'now-moving' should be hyphenated.
'TV' should be in allcaps.
'on' should be 'in'.
Neither 'the' nor 'author' needs a capital.
Add a comma after 'her'.
Delete 'the' before 'Congreve'.
Castle says she sounds disappointed, but she hasn't actually said anything.
Would read better as 'That afternoon'.
'missing persons'
'with' should be 'in'
Would sound better as 'fortunately they didn't'.
Missing one or more words after 'with silver in the'.
Would sound better as 'unless you are willing to let her win'.
Would sound better as 'seemed to have been swapped'
'deliberately' and 'unconsciously' should be 'deliberate' and 'unconscious'.
Lose the comma.
Would sound better as 'I was afraid of that'.
'were not' should be 'weren't.
Comma after 'length'.
Either add a comma after 'girlfriends' or delete the existing one after 'herself'.
Lose the comma.
No capital on 'fantasy'.
Lose the comma.
Comma should be a semi-colon.
Awkwardly phrased. I'd suggest 'his dream had not just come true but been exceeded'.
'thin and short bathrobe ' should be 'short, thin bathrobe'
'that' should be 'this'.
'Agents' should be 'Agent'.
'what exactly' would sund better as 'exactly what'
Lose the space before the ellipsis.
'you' should be 'you've'.
Lose the comma.
'hasn't' should be 'doesn't'.
'this' should be 'that'.
This line is out of place - the rest of the chapter is told from Castle's persepctive. Maybe it should be 'From the look she gave him, Kate didn't seem to think that is was cool.' or something like that?
'more-than-a-tad' should be hyphenated.
'cliché' should be 'clichéd'
Comma after 'self-control'.
'honour' should be 'honourary'.
Move 'still' before 'looked'.
Stray opening quote at the start of the line.
'TV' should be capitalized.
'Mrs.' needs a period.
Stray period before the comma after 'me'.
Should be 'It had better be'.
Semi-colon after 'fantasy' should be a comma.
'breached' should be 'broached'.
Exclamation mark should either be a question mark, a question mark and an exclamation mark, or an interobang.
Comma after 'bare-chested'.
Stray bolding.
Would sound better as 'I know what they smell like'.
'That's' should be 'This is'.
Lose the comma after 'nearby'.
Lose the comma.
'has gone' should be 'went'.
What results? Autopsy? Test?
Either delete 'that' of change the comma to a semi-colon.
Comma after 'demon' should be a semi-colon.
Missing blank line between these paragraphs.
Mouthing is silent. Did you mean 'whispered'?
Delete 'as'.
Hyphenate 'soon-to-be'
Comma after 'Vi'.
'has been'.
Lose the comma.
'I'd wondered'.
'would have been' should be 'was'
Missing period in 'Mr.'.
'did' should be 'had'
'by' should be 'from'.
'I don't think we need'
'had had brought up'
'floating and lightning crackled around' would sound better as 'floating, lightning crackling around'
'wiccan'
Comma should be a semi-colon.
'none' should be 'no one'.
Need a paragraph break before 'That's my girl'.
'had Volkov' should be 'did Volkov have'
Ellipsis should be a dash.
Comma after 'Spike' should be a semi-colon.
'since she walked'
'awhile' should be 'a while'.
Capitalize 'Kate'.
Delete 'own'.
'hook' should be 'hock'.
'oversee' should be 'overseeing'.
'how the victim's car was towed off' is awkward; I suggest 'the victim's car being towed off' instead.
'to' should be 'the'.
'records' should be 'recordings'.
'is not' should be 'isn't'.
'newly fangled' should be 'newfangled'.
'fade' should be 'phase'.
Would sound better as 'What's important is'.
'haven't' should be 'didn't'.
'straddling' should be 'saddling'.
Missing closing quote.
Missing closing quote.
'penned' should be 'pinned'.
Awkwardly phrased; suggest 'a talent for making people mad at him.'
'any chance' should be 'what are the chances', to match up with Lanie's response of 'slim to none'.
'crunch' implies something broke. I'd suggest 'clonk' or 'crack' instead.
'sing' should be 'singing'
'it' should be 'she'.
Comma should be a semi-colon.
No capital on 'stripper'.
Bold, not allcaps.
'en' should be 'an'.
Comma after 'silk' should be a dash.
Lose the comma.
Delete 'and'.
'my' should be 'me'.
Comma after 'were'; comma after 'rule'.
'we'll' should be 'we'.
'TV' should be capitalized.
'would hold' should be 'held'.
'had' should be 'would have'.
'hasn't known' should be 'didn't know'
Comma after 'bored Slayers'.
Would sound better as 'in my works are correct'.
'kept' should be 'keep'.
'to' should be 'into'.
'stepmother's' should be 'stepmothers'
Would sound better as 'not even be trying to be'.
Comma after 'because'.
'TV' should be capitalized.
'concerned' should be 'concerning'.
'Those' should be 'They'.
'could' should be 'might'.
Comma after 'six'.
Bold, not allcaps.
'no one'.
Comma after 'Javier'.
'Believe me'.
'he were' should be 'were he'.
Move the closing single-quote from after 'look' to after 'disappointed'.
Lose the comma after 'greed'.
Bold, not allcaps.
'ancestor's fault' should be 'ancestors' fault'
'Norse' should be 'Norsewoman'.
'ancestor's fault' should be 'ancestors' fault'
Comma after 'regularly'.
Last edited:
Starfox5
Experienced.
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Finally fixed all the typos - I did it in batches, so it took me that long. Thank you again for finding all of them!
I didn't change the caps into bold I don't use that convention - and the comma before an "and" seems an Oxford comma. Which I don't do either.
I also didn't change "The fire-spewing ammunition wouldn't hurt a Mohra Demon, and shot would endanger Vi once she started fighting in melee." since shot is different from both Dragon's Breath and slugs.
I stuck with the Onion, too - the National Enquirer would have printed the stories.
"with that smile on her lips she usually showed when she thought she had gotten one over Castle. Or had gotten one over him." means that there are times when she thinks she has gotten one over him, and times when she actually has gotten one over him.
With regards to the bloodhound comment, yes. That came up several times.
Baby seals are very cute and very fluffy:
I kept "had turned twenty".
I added "He saw her expression and winced." before "No, Kate didn't think that it was cool."
Once again, many thanks for going through the entire story! I'll add you to the introduction, if that's OK.
I didn't change the caps into bold I don't use that convention - and the comma before an "and" seems an Oxford comma. Which I don't do either.
I also didn't change "The fire-spewing ammunition wouldn't hurt a Mohra Demon, and shot would endanger Vi once she started fighting in melee." since shot is different from both Dragon's Breath and slugs.
I stuck with the Onion, too - the National Enquirer would have printed the stories.
"with that smile on her lips she usually showed when she thought she had gotten one over Castle. Or had gotten one over him." means that there are times when she thinks she has gotten one over him, and times when she actually has gotten one over him.
With regards to the bloodhound comment, yes. That came up several times.
Baby seals are very cute and very fluffy:
I kept "had turned twenty".
I added "He saw her expression and winced." before "No, Kate didn't think that it was cool."
Once again, many thanks for going through the entire story! I'll add you to the introduction, if that's OK.
macdjord
Well worn.
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The Oxford comma is the difference between "I dedicate this book to my parents, Mary, and God." and "I dedicate this book to my parents, Mary and God.".
I suggest changing 'shot' to 'buckshot' then, since the current version makes it sound like you meant 'shot' as in 'one firing of a gun' rather than 'pellets'.
May I suggest then 'Or had actually gotten one over him.'?
Sure! Thanks.
Starfox5
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Good ideas! Done!
Perney1984
Getting out there.
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Good share, thanks