Prognostic Hannya
Knight of the Yuri Crusade
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- Dec 3, 2019
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Think about what website you're on lol. Every female in a story is property of the MC unless stated otherwise.
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Think about what website you're on lol. Every female in a story is property of the MC unless stated otherwise.
This again? For those who do not know, I can't access google. Unless the author is willing to indulge this irritant(me) again, can someone Copy and Paste the website's contents to this post, please?
Think about what website you're on lol. Every female in a story is property of the MC unless stated otherwise.
Master Fay, you will be confined to the temple for no less than five months for observation." I wanted to groan, but I knew it could've been so much worse. "During this time, when not meditating on what has happened, you will assist Jedi Instructors in the teaching of the Code to Younglings and Initiates. Also, while you are still allowed to continue practising your velocities and maintain your lightsaber, you are not permitted to spar with any other member of the Jedi. This also extends to teaching elementary velocities and moves to other Jedi, regardless of if your masters feel you are sufficiently versed in those forms of combat or not."
I pretty much agree entirely with this. Unfortunately the author has made it clear he doesn't want Cam to "Win". If Cam does it has to be a pyrrhic victory and or with some new trauma.My personal critique of the story is that I think you've used the "He can't use his full power because of [Insert plot device]" too many times and all in a row. From trying to lay low, to satisfying mando honor, to wearing a power dampener, to a darkside nexus turning the system off, to a dampening mask, to uncontrollable anger, and now back to laying low...it's a bit frustrating. I want to think the MC is cool, and despite what people say, Powerful or "OP" characters can still be good. I think Cam (and the readers) could really use a win. A side quest where Cam puts his hard-earned skills to the test at full blast and comes out well on top and we can confidently feel like he's a badass.
Looks like we've discovered the premiere lvl 30 perk. Combine that with Bastila Force Meditation and you automatically become the most powerful person in any solar system. Well, barring the training required to DO either of them, letalone do them at the same time. Still, take the synergy to it's logical conclusion, and you could actually stand a chance at fixing the various trashfire planets of the republic.Force Power Discovered!
Shatterpoint
This is the ability to use the Force to see the faults within whatever they focus on. Be that an object, a living being, a style of combat, or even at its most powerful, how an event can affect the course of those involved in it. Both directly and indirectly
...
WARNING!
As you don't have a natural affinity for this ability, nor have taken a perk to gain such an affinity, several restrictions are in place.
XP gains for this power are reduced by a factor of 15 and you will be unable to take the ability above Professional: 1 without the relevant perk.
Said perk will be available from level 30 onwards.
Last time he did that he wound up with a kill streak nearing the triple digits (Granted they were slavers so nothing of value was lost) and was damn near deified by a group of freed slaves who have continued to all but worship the lad ever since >.>;; Not that I'm saying giving him his badass moments is a bad thing mind, but Cam is currently walking a very fine line with the Council. The lad is very atypical by Jedi standards and, as several people have noted, the members of the council reeeeeally don't deal well with anyone that isn't just your standard, traditional, and extremely boring Jedi so until he is ready to leave he's gonna have to be very careful about what he does.My personal critique of the story is that I think you've used the "He can't use his full power because of [Insert plot device]" too many times and all in a row. From trying to lay low, to satisfying mando honor, to wearing a power dampener, to a darkside nexus turning the system off, to a dampening mask, to uncontrollable anger, and now back to laying low...it's a bit frustrating. I want to think the MC is cool, and despite what people say, Powerful or "OP" characters can still be good. I think Cam (and the readers) could really use a win. A side quest where Cam puts his hard-earned skills to the test at full blast and comes out well on top and we can confidently feel like he's a badass.
Last time he did that he wound up with a kill streak nearing the triple digits (Granted they were slavers so nothing of value was lost) and was damn near deified by a group of freed slaves who have continued to all but worship the lad ever since >.>;; Not that I'm saying giving him his badass moments is a bad thing mind, but Cam is currently walking a very fine line with the Council. The lad is very atypical by Jedi standards and, as several people have noted, the members of the council reeeeeally don't deal well with anyone that isn't just your standard, traditional, and extremely boring Jedi so until he is ready to leave he's gonna have to be very careful about what he does.
Thing is, they're not really supposed to be soldiers. All of the fun stories about Jedi are; but Most of them are wandering diplomats and spiritual teachers, with JUST enough enough martial experience to not require a guard-force.You do know child soldiers are a horrible thing to groom and create.
Thing is, they're not really supposed to be soldiers. All of the fun stories about Jedi are; but Most of them are wandering diplomats and spiritual teachers, with JUST enough enough martial experience to not require a guard-force.
Kinda like all cowboys know how to use guns and are skilled marksmen, but while the stories talk about them all being gunslingers, most are just keeping feral dogs and hogs off their cattle.
Counterpoint. Brainwashing children to be emotionless brainwashing killers doesn't become less bad just because most of them are able to avoid having to actually kill because they are so effective at brainwashing. It's the "spiritual teachings" that are the problem.
Depends on what view point you look at it from. For most human civilizations, for most of history, children who were brainwashed into emotionless killers were pretty freaking respected, and very commonly called for a dedication at a young age and a rejection of a tradition familial structure.
that said I think that's kind of boring and leads to a dead end story wise so I kind of like the idea that the Jedi had turned too far towards the introspective, removed mind set, at least partially orchestrated by the sith in order to bring about their down fall, but there you go.
Aaand then there's people like you, who discard all of the positive aspects and root causes, and inflate and emphasize the negatives.Hmmm, that statement looks a little different when we don't use flowery language and actually mention the details of what that "greater calling" is and where the "dedication" comes from. There is definitely a nuanced discussion to be had on the subject. Unfortunately that is very likely to end up crossing into more contemporary subjects that aren't permitted for discussion in QQ story threads. So yes it's complicated, but that complication is frequently framed in vague positive terms that leave out the negative parts. Which ...... isn't known for being a method to form a solid understanding or moral code.
As much as I love your writing style and the story itself, things have gone bad so terribly for the main character in the past that I also have a bit of trauma!
I'm twitching at every new turn and twist expecting something to go horrifically wrong or for him to be permanently and horrendously maimed or worse... I'll eventually get over it, but it's a process.
Is this setsua or something similar? That sentient water planet?
Remember these organic ships are never given weaponsLike a single-person starfighter with a magma canon and two small machinegun-equivs
Ya that's fanon xDHuh. Really? Cause I've seen another fic where the Jedi MC gets a Sekot ship and it was well-armed enough to bombing-run the Malevolence and disable the main ion canon by itself (it also had a Stealth Field, IIRC)
Cam could explain away his refusal pretty easily with the "still recovering from PTSD incurred during a recent raid". It'd make palpatine a bit disgusted with him, but it wouldn't cause any real issues, I dont think."Are you sure you don't wish me to accompany you to the Senator's office?"
I looked up at Fay and shook my head as we walked through the Senate Rotunda. Having Fay in the room would just make Palpatine less willing to attempt to 'play nice' with me. "No, Master. While I'd rather be anywhere but here," that got a small twitch from her lips, "I doubt Senator Palpatine wishes to speak about anything planet-shattering with me. More than likely, as his message to you hinted at, he's just heard some rumours about me and wishes to make sure I'm alright." Well, as all right as I can be when I'm about to dance around a meeting with a Sith Lord without letting on how much I'm still dealing with while trying to determine how much of his spiel is intended to turn me against the Jedi Order.
While I'd have preferred to simply ignore his request, doing so now, when I'd never done so before – though he'd not tried to speak to me since before I'd headed to Mandalore – risked making him think I was pulling away from him. Right now, I felt it was better to keep the Sith Lord at arm's length than outright ignoring him.
"Plus, I know you dislike being here even more than I do."
That had the twitch on Fay's lips turn into a smile. "That is true, though Master Dooku and I had thought you felt the same. Particularly regarding how adamantly you insisted that we not even consider bringing the Senator into our little coalition."
"I still believe that Master. What we're doing is not the concern of politicians, not when there might be an undue influence on people in this building from another group." I refused to say 'Sith' out loud as with everyone believing them to be extinct – if they even think about them – I felt safer just not bringing them up in such a public place. "That said, ignoring a Senator that I have a friendship with might raise eyebrows within these walls." And raise questions, though not the ones Fay likely believed would be asked.
But has he used it to judge people and their fates yet though? Cmon, Cam! Kreia this shit! You've still got that quest to redevelop her flying lightsaber swarm, charge the path!I'd gotten Shatterpoint to Professional:1, which was as far as I could go without spending a Perk Point I didn't currently have, but the power had been a massive disappointment. I could look intently at an object with the Force, be it anything from a door to the Ne'tra Sartr itself and spot flaws and weaknesses in them. While that might be useful in some cases, in most I could circumvent having to spend minutes searching for weaknesses by using another more developed power.
sounds like the Yuuzang Vong, but I thought they didn't appear till just before the Empire started constructing death-stars?A/N: For those who know their EU lore, yes, the next arc involves that rogue planet.
Nah, the first thing you should do is answer the inevitable council summons. Make sure you stop and stand on the carpet while doing so"I hate this shabuiryr planet." Bo's cursing had been a regular feature of our treks. This one was brought on by her boot sinking into a pool of what, I hoped, was just dirty water. The smell would've likely made us all retch if not for us having armour or the Force to block it out, but I knew that the first thing I was doing when I got back to the Temple was tossing my robes in an incinerator, then taking a shower for about a week.
Pffff, n00b!Well, as all right as I can be when I'm about to dance around a meeting with a Sith Lord without letting on how much I'm still dealing with while trying to determine how much of his spiel is intended to turn me against the Jedi Order.
I... kind of have to agree here.
Awww shiiiiiiiiiit!!! That is soooo not good!"For a while now, the High Council has been hearing rumours of semi-organic ships floating around the edges of galactic society.
Nah, they appeared a long ago and they are scouting us to see if we need some extra serving of genocide for the high crime of touching metal, or if just total enslavement of everyone in the galaxy would suffice.sounds like the Yuuzang Vong, but I thought they didn't appear till just before the Empire started constructing death-stars?
At the risk of being Ninja'd, Darth Tenebrous--Plagueis' master--could use red lightning, though it was supposedly "rare", and given this seems to be a merger of Canon and Legends beyond just welding KO/TOR onto the pre-Prequel timeline, I'd say that counts as a non-unique ability.I have had this thought for a while, but what are the odds of Cam being related to the Son? I mean, I'm probably wrong and reading too much into things, but it would explain Cam's red force lightning, as the Son is the only one with red force lightning in canon and we really don't have much of a description of Cam's father besides the man being old.