... and now I'm stuck thinking about how it could actually work, as a product of the actual QQ user database. Like, rarity (as in pull chance) determined as a result of post count vs. total site posts times some arbitrary number to normalize the minimum for peeps with only one post (which in some ways is backwards, but means the people you're most likely to see posts from are also most likely to appear in the gacha, so...) while star power (and thereby stats for whatever the characters do as conflict scaled to them) depends on their posts to likes ratio. (Upgradable, but that's the base.)
For actual stat distribution and abilities... the best I have for that would be some form of point-buy as part of the user profile settings, probably minimally adapted from one of the OGL RPG systems because designing games from scratch is hard. Maybe some kind of archetype/not-class system for people who don't bother to fill that part out based on what parts of the site they post on (weighted to fill out sparse ones if possible) and an opt-out checkbox if they just don't want to be part of the game at all? Safe, sane, consensual, yadda yadda.
Some kind of timed polling of the forum database to update the game DB regularly without putting too much stress on the server/bandwidth would also need to be factored in, posiibly with an adaptive rate per user that takes into account how recently they've been around to further lower the required background activity for folks whose numbers won't change often.
Of course, what stats would actually be involved is a very large question mark... I suggest Muscle, Flexibility, Endurance, Creativity, Technique, and Will. Maybe something for explicit Lewdness as well? That might be a hit points/energy style resource, or possibly a derived stat from two or three of the others. No Luck stat, it's a gacha game and Questionable, so getting lucky is purely a matter of

how often you can pull.
Count me solidly in the people disappointed that the joke is that it isn't real, though.
edit: Also that the threatened XF2 "upgrade"
is real. Fuuuck. Well, as long as there's a theme equivalent to Blackend Purple I'll survive I guess...
edit 2: HP and SP consumable stats for the usual purposes, O as a counter for -ahem- exhaustion that doesn't drain actual HP, Lewdness as the evil action points counter that either refills by a slow drip or cash shop items? But this is QQ, our Lewdness is infinite...
edit 3: I know, make Tension the action points system, as a meter that fills instead of draining, and other players can use a stat check and/or skills and/or a t
Oken to raise your O meter, which lowers Tension when it's
filled satisfied! Only t
Okens from the cash shop (and
trash Item gacha pulls?) can be used on yourself, but players get a supply of free ones daily that they can give to friends,
special freinds, or random strangers in the lobby.