Battletech: The Ghost Who Walks (Battletech Isekai)

[Tremerid]

Wow, didn't even go for the kill after an attempted backstab- that Combine guy is going to be invited to use the GARDEN if he's lucky.

Click to shrink...

Remember, it is most 'honorable' to water the Dragon's garden .

That aside, I look forward to reading more of this. I like the concept you're going with, and I always enjoy seeing more battletech fics in the wild.

 

[Imperator Pax]

Detroit II
Part 6​

The precentor reminded him of... well a cat who had caught the canary for the moment. He was basically radiating smug contentedness. His near to crooning about hassle and unpleasantness felt near enough to gloating about the Combine having finally screwed up in their power plays, "It would be quite appreciated if you could relocate the salvage within a month, I know the parameters are forty five days of the court resolving arbitration of a dispute, but you understand."

"I do." Gene assured him. The sooner they could get through all of this the sooner that he could leave.

That was when she walked in. He had only caught of 'hime-sama' briefly during his last few days on Detroit last go around. Not that he'd gotten close, or even a formal introduction. Her whole dress, and demeanor, besides or perhaps because of it, screamed money, but she couldn't have been much older than he was... the tacky, and that was the best word he had to describe her shiny fabric cliché miko looking outfit had to be expensive. Appearance wise... if he had to make a comparison was maybe to a young Fan Bingbing... admittedly a Chinese actress, but while he wasn't sure if her emphasized big eyes and cheeks were actually plastic surgery or not she had a face... well she looked like a bobble head if he was going to be mean.

The stupid hair ornament, that was probably totally a knife didn't help.

Not that she wasn't attractive, but he was now stuck in a room with two too smug SOBs, and at least he got why the ComStar precentor had the expression... or had because he wasn't happy at the intrusion either, "I am afraid you have the wrong room young miss, I am the middle of Blake's blessed work."

He was laying it on a bit thickly, Gene didn't think the precentor normally went around talking like that maybe he did and he'd just been spared it by not normally dealing with the senior ComStar presence.

"I am precisely where the Dragon requires me."

There was a long irritated sigh, and the ComStar XI sat down behind his desk. His hand disappeared under there for a minute... presumably pressing some kind of buzzer or silent alarm, but then he turned back to Gene. "This is an unwarranted, and unacceptable breach of our blessed order's rights and matters I ask you bear with us major." Internally he was groaning, this sounded like it was going to suck. He didn't want to turn his back on the new comer, and he didn't want to do anything that might 'cause a scene' or whatever. The precentor was still talking, "If you're going to try and claim that the duel was somehow invalid, I'll save you the trouble, both parties agreed to a judicial resolution through trial by combat. This has been an accepted method of resolution going back to the Star League. Indeed of the Member States the Combine most frequently relied on them to settle arbitration." In short he didn't want hear any complaining. "If you're going to claim that your pilot was overstepping his boundaries you should have raised those complaints when he was going around challenging other plaintiffs, not only after he lost." Sneer.

They went on posturing at one another for a good five minutes before they turned to him, and he had to wonder if they had legitimately forgotten he was there. Gene raised an eyebrow. "Fair is fair. I'm looking to finish this up."

"Indeed." She agreed, and went on to talk about the Five Pillars that made up the combine's society at large. The long story could have just as easily been summarized with how much money would be required to save face.

Even though it was a terrible idea it was still tempting to throw the missing book in her face. He was pretty sure she had to have seen it... but he could have been wrong. Making a scene was a bad idea, especially with the ComStar guy here. So grudgingly keeping civil, despite all the pretentions to honor and dignity and what not, "I'm willing to hear you out. Provided payment is in C Bills, not the Ryu." She didn't react to that but the Precentor clearly approved of the financial requirement... but she'd probably been expecting it.

"Is that the completed inventory?"

"It is."

"I'll make a fresh copy," The Precentor interjected pulling the finished documents out of arm's reach and pressed the big fax looking machine in the corner of the office to que a reprint. It sounded like it was from the eighties churning along. He licked his fingers and flipped through the pages until he got to the itenerary with the appraisals, and distributed to them both before sitting down an going over a copy for himself. "Market appraisal for the hardware is page twenty three, covers loose salvage, and machine parts from the ground combat vehicles, twenty seven deals with the Mechs salvaged, and all itemized recovered goods."

The way the MRB had appraised everything had struck him as odd. It was like they had purposely ignored at the stuff being shot to hell, stomped, or exploded. The 'market appraisal' was steep. Lots of C-Bills... and maybe that was part of the reason the combine had tried to weasel around a financial solution by picking fights with the impetuous, or trying to drag this out to other people caved. Either way it was just a reminder that he was stuck in between two big financial fish.

On the other hand it wasn't like ComStar wasn't saying they were pristine mechs, or brand new mechs, just that it made a lot of assumptions that the salvage could be made to work... and be fixed, which seemed a bit of a stretch.
--
More paperwork.

"Holy shit she just agreed to this?"

He heard the phrase highway robbery breathed other the comm line from North. It sounded like Chang. "You can spend your portion later, Septim." He replied. The truth was he hadn't wanted to sell the entire haul... he had been planning to quibble over the normal catapult, but truthfully that wasn't necessary now. "Since we're on the subject of money. Next contract."

"our friend Mr Ford believes he needs security. We'll be tracking an alleged path of Kerensky's exodus fleet."

"Woh, yeah maybe we shouldn't go to the combine right now, or through the combine," Septim paused at his outburst, looking a little abashed.

"We're going to the border, not over it. The path is through Davion Space," Apparently IE wasn't all that popular with the Combine authorities, even though they did occasionally allow them the rights to conduct archaeological digs, or to do their retrace the route the exodus had taken, but that wasn't what this was. This was Ford chasing down a lead. "The contract is going to pay well even if its nothing." They were getting paid even if Ford's lead was a wild goose chase.... but he doubted it was. An official IE contract had been sent through the MRB as a priority rating it as a security mission, and one that specified that the local nobles were prone to feuding and that they might very well end up getting caught in the crossfire. Which naturally sounded liked great fun, truly a charming vacation spot, never mind being right on the Combine border.

"What happens if we do find something?"

"That's subject to arbitration unfortunately. I'll handle payment on the contracts, and anyone who needs transport back to Detroit will have it covered. Bo?" He asked the Free World native.

"Sounds good," The baritone voice replied over the line even though the mechwarrior wasn't in the visible frame. No the real question were Jowett and Andrew who had been working rather frequently before the first Detroit contract as a pair of trouble shooters, "What about you two, you coming or are you taking the Majesty job."

Jowett glanced sideways and Andrew nodded, "We'd like to take the Majesty job, we want to do it under the company auspice but yeah we'd like to take the majesty job." The Tikonov native replied.

"We'll get the MRB to draw up the paperwork, Majesty will cover transport costs for your ride, and for back here. The contract has a one year re-up, you know that right?"

"We saw that."

"You understand that Majesty will probably exercise that option, and you'll be signing on to two years watching engineers dig in the dirt, on a hot," By all indications Arizona like desert, "sandy planet?"

"We read the packet."

"We'll hit the MRB tomorrow then." Get everything with Majesty Metals squared and then finish the present majesty contractor... and then hopefully leave without getting into any more stupid shit or anything else getting stolen.

Later that night... a gang war broke out in Ann Arbor.

 

[RoyalTwinFangs]

Will there be a Nightstar involved with the IE contact?

 

[Imperator Pax]

Will there be a Nightstar involved with the IE contact?

Click to shrink...

No, the other Marauder is coming. A nightstar won't be showing up until 3019 when we get to McEvedy.

EDIT: Oh duh you're asking because of MW5's plot duh....

 

[RoyalTwinFangs]

No, the other Marauder is coming. A nightstar won't be showing up until 3019 when we get to McEvedy.

Click to shrink...

You mean Gene is going to upgrade into a more advanced Marauder? Something like the 2R or Marauder 2?

 

[Imperator Pax]

You mean Gene is going to upgrade into a more advanced Marauder? Something like the 2R or Marauder 2?

Click to shrink...

The 2R's main benefit is that its got ER PPCs... and more DHS than his current mech.

side bar I've always considered it supremely odd that the 2R is the royal designation and that the hegemony did not make a Royal Marauder with endo steel or XL engines... but it isn't as if that was somehow unique to the Marauder royal.

To the question at hand this does lead into sourcing Marauder IIs (which top out at 54 kph) though strictly speaking Gene will mostly be gaining a spare mech, though that will make sense when we get to actually booting the new Marauder on screen.

 

[Silverbullet]

He should have asked miko-chan for his damn book back and if he knew Japanese or had read the book quoted any of the Combine's little haikus on thieves. It would have cost him nothing except tweaking the Pillars' nose and rubbing the Combine's shameful actions throughout the arbitration in their noses. Gene's an unfrozen Gunslinger for Kerensky's sake. The Gunslingers were made to rub the Dragon's nose in the dirt using their own methods of honor duels and codes of conduct.

 

[Imperator Pax]

He should have asked miko-chan for his damn book back and if he knew Japanese or had read the book quoted any of the Combine's little haikus on thieves. It would have cost him nothing except tweaking the Pillars' nose and rubbing the Combine's shameful actions throughout the arbitration in their noses. Gene's an unfrozen Gunslinger for Kerensky's sake. The Gunslingers were made to rub the Dragon's nose in the dirt using their own methods of honor duels and codes of conduct.

Click to shrink...

He does this later, after he actually has proof.

Like actual proof, not 'I know you did it' suspicion.

But of course by that point they don't have the book anymore.

Spoiler: Spoiler....

Actually by that point

Spoiler: Spoiler

Hanzo has stolen the book back.

and gene has his book back

 

[RoyalTwinFangs]

The 2R's main benefit is that its got ER PPCs... and more DHS than his current mech.

side bar I've always considered it supremely odd that the 2R is the royal designation and that the hegemony did not make a Royal Marauder with endo steel or XL engines... but it isn't as if that was somehow unique to the Marauder royal.

To the question at hand this does lead into sourcing Marauder IIs (which top out at 54 kph) though strictly speaking Gene will mostly be gaining a spare mech, though that will make sense when we get to actually booting the new Marauder on screen.

Click to shrink...

Always wonder why the royal Marauder doesn't have the ER ML and LB-X 5 instead. They weigh about the same as the standard versions.

 

[Laxard]

No, the other Marauder is coming. A nightstar won't be showing up until 3019 when we get to McEvedy.

EDIT: Oh duh you're asking because of MW5's plot duh....

Click to shrink...

Speaking of the plot of that thing, finished new DLC contract chain (campaign?), ROM's are bastards again and so is Davion, Liao showed okay guys this time around, good references to the Justin related plots which will fly over the head of anybody unaware, but it is amusing how player's insane effectiveness becomes one of the big reasons for Mad Max's insanity. Actual scout lances with Atlas or Zeus in it.
Kestrel's Lances misadventures can easily become a part of future contract.

 

[Imperator Pax]

Always wonder why the royal Marauder doesn't have the ER ML and LB-X 5 instead. They weigh about the same as the standard versions.

Click to shrink...

I can answer this canonically, LB X 5 allegedly didn't exist, neither did ER Mediums.

...

Spoiler: Spoiler

Ergo I have elected to make modifications to that, because while I could accept that the Hegemony might not have considered it a priority to develop the ER Medium and thus it took Jade Falcon to put them into protection the LB X is a little more egregious. So in particular some technologies that ... well some things will follow more or less their canon status, others will show up as SLDF prototypes. The LB X 5 will be showing up sooner than ER Mediums, because I don't understand why given what all you can find AC 5s on why some in the SLDF didn't take the LB 10 concept that had been around since 2590 and make it.

 

[Laxard]

why some in the SLDF didn't take the LB 10 concept

Click to shrink...

Well, there is always two standard explanations, cost effectiveness (including maintaince) or bribes. Sometimes both at the same time.

 

[Doomsought]

The LB-10 x was a working prototype rushed off to production. The other LBX autocannon were still under development and not ready for deployment when Ameris set everything on fire.

 

[Imperator Pax]

The LB-10 x was a working prototype rushed off to production. The other LBX autocannon were still under development and not ready for deployment when Ameris set everything on fire.

Click to shrink...

I don't know if that's canon but that s about verbatim an explanation for what I was going to use at elidere

 

[RoyalTwinFangs]

Didn't the Taurian got their hands on some Royal Marauders added the lb-x 5 to make the 2T model?

 

[Imperator Pax]

Didn't the Taurian got their hands on some Royal Marauders added the lb-x 5 to make the 2T model?

Click to shrink...

The short answer is yes, but I'm given to believe that was at least originally supposed to be Post-Helm. Battletech Canon is often self contradictory, sometimes even within the same source book ... though not nearly to the extent of say 40k.

 

[Doomsought]

The short answer is yes, but I'm given to believe that was at least originally supposed to be Post-Helm. Battletech Canon is often self contradictory, sometimes even within the same source book ... though not nearly to the extent of say 40k.

Click to shrink...

Possible Solutions:

• Ameris fuckery
• They were actually prototypes that could not be mass produced
• there was only a single production run prior to the dropship full of why-we-can't-have-nice-things
• unreliable narrator because player characters are often mercenaries with spotty intelligence.

 

[Imperator Pax]

Detroit II
Part 7​

Septim refilled his coffee, "So is this Black Jack's doing?"

"I don't think so." Gene cocked his head at the question, and the response to it but kept watching the .... exchange of automatic gun fire that gave the opening to Predator 2 a run for its money in terms of gratuitous violence. As an offworlder this was strange to him. "This just happens." Fields continued. "I'm sure the pirates coming through convinced the usual people to keep their heads down."

Detroit didn't have a strong central government. The corps kept lording over their little fiefdoms and didn't bother with much else. That created zones of ... what was not quite lawlessness but places where influence peddling turned nasty after dark. In this case throwing a bunch of grenades into a restaurant front window after ten. That had been the previous night... and the gangsters even the least armed group in the current fray seriously outnumbered the police.

... which was saying something cause the police had APCs and HMGs, Grenade launchers, and who knew what else, but were presently getting their asses chewed on. There was an explosion, "That sounded close." He muttered. A part of him would have preferred to be out there... but this wasn't sectarian fighting... well not religious anyway. This was just criminals, and unlike with pirates the government didn't' want to go out of its way to spend money for something that they mostly regarded as normal enough. "I what kicked all of this off?" Truthfully that didn't' sit well with him. Even if he wasn't getting paid to take sides. That was actually interesting that there had been no attempt... giving credence to Field's comment that this was normal, the native was certainly sedate about all of this.

"The restaurant at the start of all of this is one of the families big in the gambling, allegedly." One of Field's friends hedged, adding the last word very hastily to the end.

A half hour later, gene idly surveyed the mess as Colonel Khan signed off the line. He wasn't worried he was behind thirteen tons of ferro fibrous armor after all.... which admittedly were spread across the Marauder's whole chassis but he wasn't that worried. No one had so much as taken a pot shot at him, and probably out of self preservation given he was in a Mech. They didn't even need to know what a small pulse laser would do to infantry to know shooting at a mech was suicide. It had mostly stopped them from even shooting at each other. "Captain?" He asked tentatively pinging Field's line through the neurohelmet connection to his Dalban.

"Uh yeah we've got the wounded loaded."

He nodded even though the line was audio only, and flicked his sealed cockpit display to thermals, and vibration detection. "We're going to need to clear for engineers, there are people trapped in the rubble." He remarked. This wasn't really normal mercenary work, and it was actually probably pretty weird, since the news choppers had taken notice of them, and he had to force himself not to plug into their broadcast feed.

Gene coaxed the Marauder delicately around the collapsed face of the building, and backed off. Somebody had said this had been a gas main explosion, and maybe part of it had been but the chemical sensors of his Dalban were reading traces of HBX which was a relatively potent, if not exactly novel or modern explosive. He supposed it was always possible someone had blown themselves up, but doubted it. The sheer ferocity at which the city had exploded into gangland killing spree was insane... and supposedly as long as it stayed out of the corporate sectors and out of the way of anyone else with more money the authorities would have ordinarily just let it burn itself out... however long that would have taken.

That explanation didn't sit well with him in the slightest, and trying to tell himself to mind his own business hadn't helped matters. So they were going to coordinate search and rescue, and he keyed his mike to make sure that was loud and clear to anyone street side listening.

Septim's Merlin twisted torso to face him, unnecessary but probably mental input to be facing the speaker, "Boss, I don't think its likely, but what happens if the Combine tries to jump our asses while we're out here?"

"Technically we are within range of Baffin's LRMs."

"That's comforting." Septim didn't sound entirely convinced.

"If that happens you'll fight a covering action to withdraw. Plan to disengage once our crunchies are out of the line of fire." He appreciated that the Merlin was a kind of do everything Mech, but if the Combine did do something that boneheaded it would probably turn into a brawl, "Like you say, it probably won't happen."

"Just thinking out loud boss."

Most of the company was on North. The MRB was still working up advice on hiring ASF, and working on contracts for infantry hires, and well the wheels of bureaucracy turned slowly... and part of this was he really was sitting in their little annex with idle hands he supposed. Gene scanned the horizon. There were no fusion signatures to speak of. Pretty much everything on his scopes were internal combustion engines, and almost all of them civilian spec, and no active or passive targeting systems to speak of.

They were the only mechs it looked like in fifteen klicks. That one happened to be a Corporate Security outfit's UrbanMech... and it was painted up in the company colors that were downright garish. Certainly it wouldn't be a bad idea to keep an eye out for any suspicious tractor trailors head into a warzone heedless of all the shooting being broadcast on the news constantly for the last twelve odd hours... but short of that, or similar, crossing the intervening urban space would mean walking.

... or an orbital insertion... a nasty little voice in the back of his mind whispered. He glanced up to the sky, which kind of pointless in a sealed cockpit. The neurohelmet triggered the Dalban to track incoming radar cross sections in atmosphere, and any heat or radar returns in low orbit.... but there was for the moment nothing out of the ordinary there. He set a mental trip on the Dalban, just as a precaution and swept back to look up the street.

There were no buildings with glass intact. The explosion probably had done that of course, and there were a couple of burned out ground cars. One had clearly been under power when the right front tire had been shredded by some kind of medium caliber machine gun causing it to go careening into a wall. The whole scene was a mess, even beyond what it had looked like on the television... but then the smoke had been obfuscating some it he supposed.

An hour later, with no apparent backlash from the gangs coming the phone calls started coming... well technically ComStar had called a bit earlier than that but, then Majesty Metals, and a couple more local firms started 'volunteering' to assist. Publicity. This sure wasn't altruism. Not that he was going to turn down Canopian medical assistance either... or any help really. He needed the manpower for this.
--
Septim chugged down another cup of actually pretty decent coffee to fight off the fatigue he thought of the dreams, and shook his head, before realized he had been about to slosh himself with the remnants of his still very hot coffee.

"What about the fire?"

Septim swallowed, and looked down at the Styrofoam cup, "They got the gas line cut off before it could reach the cricket field. That's taken care of." There wasn't really much for them to do now... he acting as a generic officer really rather than a MechWarrior... now that there was help. The order to RtB for sleep didn't make him feel any better. He probably wasn't going to get any sleep anyway, either because of the prodigious amounts of high octane coffee or because of the dreams... but it wasn't like he was doing anything sticking around here.

There was some barking to interrupt, "Yeah the dogs have got something, got a survivor." One of the firemen called.

Gene glanced to to the older MechWarrior, "I'll handle, in the event something screwy does happen you'll need the sleep," It wasn't as if Colonel Khan had stuck around... which to be fair he'd hung around longer than Gene had really expected, close to four hours on the scene, and when no firefight erupted he left them to it. "I'll see what's going on," And if the survivors were in any condition to talk, maybe they'd get some answers to how this mess had gotten so out of hand so fast... or maybe at least someone had seen something... maybe that was just wishful thinking. Colonel Khan hadn't been much help there. His job was to fight pirates not gangsters, and the police seemed to feel that he was some kind of interloper, and hadn't exactly been thrilled with either of them coming in and setting up roadblocks and directing fire and EMS.
--
...The hospital machine chirped rhythmically with his heart beat. He was alive. The last thing he remembered had been the dead eyed man leaving... and then the gambling den had been on fire...

His skin itched not just where the IV ran into his arm.. He wasn't in any pain, and his senses lacked the haze of morphine or some other distillate of the poppy. He wasn't restrained, and the slim plastic band listed his name, and blood type.

He paused, as he heard a voice in archaic Japanese, 'Tomorrow is far away and lonely', a thousand years out of common usage, but still understandable to someone with an education in the old.

"Geez Major I didn't figure you for a poetry guy." Someone louder, less polished declared.

 

[RoyalTwinFangs]

What is that all about? Can't see the point of the chapter.

 

[Silverbullet]

It's setting up meeting a new team member or contact of the only survivor of a hit attempt on a gambling den in Detroit(the planet) who I suspect is that Combine guy we had a POV of earlier who was annoyed at all the shit going down on the planet on his watch.

Gene and Septim are there because they have a contract with the Detroit Government to help as an irregular force as they wait to go on another Interstellar trip. I will say I am wondering how things will shake out, but I'm really not looking forward to more reading of them going from burnt out planet to slightly less burnt out planet on Lost Tech hunts while whittling time away between contracts. Is it realistic for Battletech given Month long travel times large trips take? Yes absolutely. Is it in anyway engaging? No.

I did get from earlier that Bahar and another merc went for a separate contract but that's just odd splitting the Company like that. Still holding out hope on more being set up.

 

[Imperator Pax]

It's setting up meeting a new team member or contact of the only survivor of a hit attempt on a gambling den in Detroit(the planet) who I suspect is that Combine guy we had a POV of earlier who was annoyed at all the shit going down on the planet on his watch.

Gene and Septim are there because they have a contract with the Detroit Government to help as an irregular force as they wait to go on another Interstellar trip. I will say I am wondering how things will shake out, but I'm really not looking forward to more reading of them going from burnt out planet to slightly less burnt out planet on Lost Tech hunts while whittling time away between contracts. Is it realistic for Battletech given Month long travel times large trips take? Yes absolutely. Is it in anyway engaging? No.

I did get from earlier that Bahar and another merc went for a separate contract but that's just odd splitting the Company like that. Still holding out hope on more being set up.

Click to shrink...

This is good to know, its Andrew and Jowett who are splitting off to go babysit some Majesty Metal engineers while they play in the dirt, and its the periphery in the late third sucession war so two mechs half a lance whatever you want to call it is kind of a big deal.... or rather canonically should be. and they'll show back up later on... which brings us to above that


That being said thats good to know andimportant feedback because I need to know these things. The LosTech thing Elidere is going to be find SLDF part 1, and part 2, or rather the secondhalf of the chapter isversus the galedon regulars in service to house Davion, and the motion from there, from subsequent chapters will be diverting to merc contracts with normal clientale, and post elidere it will be three four chapters before any more prospecting for LosTech... because well we will be going into the Aurigan Reach like two chapters after Elidere (and like you said BT long travel times).

 

[Silverbullet]

On one hand details are important on the other it feels like we're being over detailed on minor things and not enough on important parts like characters. We know Gene is important as the Protagonist and primary pov, but he feels dry. Septim has more flavor being a an ex Lyran Merc with visions which is an in canon thing that happens to some people. I personally blame human minds being expanded from FTL travel and literally ripping holes through reality to shitpost each other. I said Bahar because she's the other merc we've been introduced to. I can't even remember who Andrew and Jowett are. Essentially it boils down to the usual thing of we simultaneously are being given too much information on setting and not enough information on the action or players involved. Like the part before the latest chapter should have been a POV of Yamaguchi "Bob" going to the restaurant to gamble to relieve stress and then the hit happens. It would obviously have been short. No more than a paragraph at most, but it would have set up "who" the survivor they pulled from the wreckage was. I'm guessing we now get a detective bit where we try to find out who tried to off the local Combine rep. His own superiors for him being the guy in charge when shit went down? Likely for the Dracs but they would have made him "water the garden" with his replacement being his second. retainers of the samurai who lost using unofficial means to strike at the involved parties of his disgrace? possible. As for the future plan things I have to ask. Why more drudging through IE expeditions? They were the weakest part of the last arc and the most frustrating. I know it's realistic given the setting and maybe stumbling on a Losttech find would have been sueish, but I counter. You are and SI with Gunslinger training in a tricked out wet dream of a mech and to top it off you have the means and possible crew to go back to Aquagea and loot your Losttech riddled base, or set it up as your Company's HQ. Then there's that possible hook you left of RWR secret bases. Actually that chapter would have been the perfect one to have them find something since the chapters before it were humdrum travel and trivial details. I like this story's premise and the early bits where Gene was out of his depth and adapting. This last chapter is actually promising because it's opening to other plot hooks. I guess I'll just wait and see where you go from here. Please no more maddening chapters like the ones between the Luxen fight and the return to Detroit.

Edit: The Luxen Chapter with him training the MAF were good too.

 

[Imperator Pax]

On one hand details are important on the other it feels like we're being over detailed on minor things and not enough on important parts like characters. We know Gene is important as the Protagonist and primary pov, but he feels dry. Septim has more flavor being a an ex Lyran Merc with visions which is an in canon thing that happens to some people. I personally blame human minds being expanded from FTL travel and literally ripping holes through reality to shitpost each other. I said Bahar because she's the other merc we've been introduced to. I can't even remember who Andrew and Jowett are.




Essentially it boils down to the usual thing of we simultaneously are being given too much information on setting and not enough information on the action or players involved. Like the part before the latest chapter should have been a POV of Yamaguchi "Bob" going to the restaurant to gamble to relieve stress and then the hit happens. It would obviously have been short. No more than a paragraph at most, but it would have set up "who" the survivor they pulled from the wreckage was. I'm guessing we now get a detective bit where we try to find out who tried to off the local Combine rep. His own superiors for him being the guy in charge when shit went down? Likely for the Dracs but they would have made him "water the garden" with his replacement being his second. retainers of the samurai who lost using unofficial means to strike at the involved parties of his disgrace? possible.



As for the future plan things I have to ask. Why more drudging through IE expeditions? They were the weakest part of the last arc and the most frustrating. I know it's realistic given the setting and maybe stumbling on a Losttech find would have been sueish, but I counter. You are and SI with Gunslinger training in a tricked out wet dream of a mech and to top it off you have the means and possible crew to go back to Aquagea and loot your Losttech riddled base, or set it up as your Company's HQ. Then there's that possible hook you left of RWR secret bases. Actually that chapter would have been the perfect one to have them find something since the chapters before it were humdrum travel and trivial details. I like this story's premise and the early bits where Gene was out of his depth and adapting. This last chapter is actually promising because it's opening to other plot hooks. I guess I'll just wait and see where you go from here. Please no more maddening chapters like the ones between the Luxen fight and the return to Detroit.

Edit: The Luxen Chapter with him training the MAF were good too.

Click to shrink...

So I'm going to parse this, but I appreciate the feedback. Let me say that I'm glad at least Septim is sticking. Which ZI'm aware that the other mercs have not gotten as much of an introduction, which is part of the reason the next chapter (Elidere) is a kind of divided in half and I'll get to that in a minute. Septim, and Bahar, and I need to focus more on her, I knew that are both basically slated to be company scale officers, which were talking about Captain equivalent rank, and we're talking about in a BattleMech unit context (This is not armor, or infantry) and its designed to make telling the story focused on select characters and this is true of other characters, where they're going to do things with other 'secondary characters' or tertiary characters .

And frankly with Phillip and Jowett to use an example even though this story predates it, in Pathfinder (and other games certainly and perhaps a Final Fantasy Tactics reference might be better), P&J are members of the company getting sent on errands ala companions. They and the 'scratch company' should have gotten more screen time in Luxen I and II. Thats on me I recognize that, I had recognized it earlier. [Which is why Luxen II will most likely at some point get an expanded version of those events posted or at least started posting before years end. That will encompass more screen time with other characters]

Moving on to the Yakuza plot,

Spoiler: Minor spoilers for this sunday's segment

No, and the reason it doesn't happen is because of the way Detroit is, politically. The planetary government goes, no you can't investigate, this is a mess. We don't want you causing an incident, which Gene has to go along with because, well he's going off world soon anyway, and needs to accept that and that he can't risk the company getting a black mark from the MRB by going and playing detective.

Now to finally address the Elidere return to IE for a brief minute. I'm not a FedRat. I never really cared for the FedSuns as a faction not in nearly thirty years of playing, but in this due to factors beyond the protagonist's control, beyond the company level, he's kind of stuck in the being mostly aligned with the FedSuns at least in terms of in FedSuns v DCMS he's going to be siding most of hte time with FedSuns 90+ percent of the time not always but well we'll get there when we get to Elidere.

Because elidere will serve two purposes there will be shiny stuff, and yes it will maybe it will be too much information but there are details I want to cover and deal with before we go dealing with the Aurigans and certainly before the lost tribe stuff.

Thanks for letting me ramble

 

[Silverbullet]

Sounds Good, and what Lost Tribe? There was never any Minnesota Tribe, Quiaff? Certainly no such dezgra Bandits used a thrice damned wolverine as their accursed sigil, Quiaff?

 

[Imperator Pax]

Detroit II
Part 8​

They were in downtown he supposed, in a big ugly Chrysler building meets soviet architecture looking skyscraper that was a nasty taupe color. "So the fire was intentional?" Gene found himself asking, even as he leaned back in the cheap office furniture.

"Sure looks like it," Tigger replied. The arson investigator was a portly man in build, but was at least six four, and had a mustache that would have been right at home on the face of a French politician before the first world war, or thereabouts. "Fire is definitely separated from the bomb, which was definitely a bomb."

"Not a grenade?" Colonel Khan asked softly.

"Grenades looked like they were thrown into the front like we saw elsewhere, but they wouldn't have hit the gas, or collapsed that wall. That's HBX doing all that," The big man replied, "And like I said that was all separate from all of that. If I had to guess I think they probably all done by separate groups. The bomb was probably placed first, and I think based on the timing that the fire was started after the grenades came in?"

"So the arson might have been trying to conceal criminal records."

Tigger shrugged. "Could be." Of course most of the gambling done on Detroit was more gray than outright black... illegal gambling was mostly of the not paying taxes sort. The same with loan sharking. Private loans weren't illegal just involved a lot less oversight, and were prone to abuse.

It just all looked suspicious as fuck. Khan's brow scrunched up as he probably ran the numbers that this whole gang war was looking increasingly like someone had intentionally jammed a pole into a nest of hornets just to see what happened.

He said as much as soon as the fireman was gone.

Colonel Khan looked at the carbon paper copies of information. "Someone went to a great deal of trouble then, and I can already imagine that looking into it will step on more toes." That was in short the end of it. Detroit's government didn't want to step on toes. It was a dead end they couldn't go any further because there wasn't any political will to do so.

Short of Fields being wrong, and that this did turn out to be some giant pirate conspiracy by the would be pirate king Black Jack McGirk this was done. It was over. "Alright."

"Alright?" Khan seemed skeptical that he'd just drop it that easy.

Much as he didn't want to, he wasn't going to risk company standing with the MRB, and he wasn't going to risk Khan or anyone here as a point of contact by starting something that might turn into a political mire. "I'm not going to be here that much longer, I won't pick at it." The ganger fighting had died down anyway seemingly having realized there would be hell to pay if they went picking a fighting with the reinforcing merc unit. He would have preferred if Bahar had waited another week before coming in from North. Or at least not rolled both of the Tokugawa tanks into the streets quite so blatantly, but it was done now... "Your techs are the ones helping fix the Baffins and I appreciate that. I'll put in my paper work for this with the MRB, and we will leave this at that." It was the business. This was the job, and customer was right, and all of that.

The MRB took even longer... there was so much paper work, but part of that was hiring contracts and bringing people on. He had a ship to crew after all Or as Septim had commented over beers, 'Getting into the real business now'. He was distracted by the notion to ring the Magistracy representative. Not that he was sure Centrella might have been willing to make time this short notice, but at least to see if she would and then see if Raventhir or Luxen might not have a use for Phillip and Jowett sticking around there, maybe that he almost ran into Mustafa, one of the azami techs, "How is repairing the prize going?" He asked as he recovered

"We're still stripping it down, but that's not it Shosha," He accent was a little hard on the word but he interpreted it to be 'Major', "You should follow me." Septim was clearly vexed by the situation where he was waiting.

Gene wasn't sure what was going at first. He recognized one of the guys who'd been pulled out of hte rubble. One of the few survivors from a gambling den that had had probably close to four hundred people last time he had checked in with the emergency services on the matter. The man who was missing two fingers on his left hand was holding a book.

... "Boss?"

... and he had just told Khan that he recognized that he wasn't supposed to be causing any kind of interstellar incident. "Mister Ishida I was under the impression that the doctor recommended bed rest." He had to steel himself to keep an even tone... to not immediate put the whole company to an elevated alert. There was no way the combine could have repaired the mechs they'd bought off them... but now he was suddenly regretting agreeing to the purchase given he had no idea how many more mechs they might have brought with them.

It didn't take all that much effort to confirm that it was indeed his copy, made somewhat easier by the simple fact the book had the tiniest bloodstain from a paper cut of handling it on Aquagea two years earlier that remained on the margins. Really more than that he couldn't imagine that there were that many copies of the book on planet, never mind early editions, and certainly not a first edition. He doubted anyone would have bothered with an attempt at forgery either. It left the question of did he want plausible deniability of what all had happened, or did he want to satiate the burning curiosity of just what the fuck had been going on.

At least Septim seemed at least as confused about the whole mess as he was. That was something of a relief. It lead them to hold something of an emergency conference of the company's officers.... which was an entirely too fancy way of saying himself, Septim, Bahar, and the Azami captains of the JumpShips. Not that with a ship off world date coming up soon there hadn't already been a plan to have a meeting, but this was still somewhat impromptu.

The company not having to load a bunch of salvage to catalog, relocate, and figure out to do with... and probably overwork the techs in the process... had generally been considered a good thing. That it had also meant a pay day similarly was a generally construed as a mark in the win column of a business. Instead of convening in a few days where the topic would have run the gamut from the simple, how many tons of missiles are aboard, to the more complex renting berthing for jump collars they were convening early.

The group created something of an overlap, a ven diagram of experiences and factors for those represented. The captain of the JumpShip Lebanon was the oldest in the room and had at one point captained a DropShip. He had never been a MechWarrior. The captain of the Colorado had been strictly a merchant before his elevation to the position of captain of the Leviathan class, and was in his late forties at least.

In terms of age that left Septim closer to him and Bahar than the Azami ship captains... and a naval captain should have outranked Ground Company commanders. "So what do we do with this guy? Are we taking him with us?"

"I generally am poorly disposed to thieves, though I suppose this is stealing back that which was stolen in the first place which does moderate the matter some,"


That was the crux of the issue. Instead of basically laying up in hospital recovering there would be new recruit had went to go for a bit of payback, which was probably an issue in itself. The Combine using the Yakuza as cut outs made sense, them double crossing the local yaks also... made sense. Ishida couldn't really give any details on the matter of motive, just that 'dead fish eye', who was probably one of the visiting snakes who might or might not have been ISF had wanted the warehouse broken into. That had been apparently before they had confirmed ComStar was keeping the salvage in bonded warehouses, but they might have snooped around anyway even knowing that. Fishy boy had insisted on taking the book and apparently been very good at minding his p and qs subsequently about where he'd been keeping it. Ishida had apparently had little trouble getting inside the hotel in the 'hospitality district' knicking the book and making it back here all apparently without being detected.



"Yusuf has a point there, and also that the thieves will notice sooner rather than later." The older man shrugged, "If we are to take him with us, letting him come and go would probably not be wise."

"We can't just keep the guy locked up."

"He is probably a criminal, Captain Alexander." The bearded man replied, "Whether or not he has done a service or not if he freely comes and goes all the more chance it invites the Dragon's agents to see us with him."

"And we are not suggesting he be imprisoned merely given quarters to which he can remain." Yusuf agreed. "Finding out what he wants to accomplish in the mean time, and returning what was stolen may warrant passage off world at least." He compromised. "It would be wise though to avoid further dealing with the Coordinator's servants though."
--
Commentary: Ok, so two things, well four, This will be something of a longer one...

Firstly I dug back the outline, and originally there was going to be a Detroit Part 9, there have been a couple of revisions since then, and I'm tempted to just open with Elidere Part 1.

Secondly again relating to my outlines I should have caught this earlier on the written outline, done on loose leaf paper like an idiot, I was missing the entirety of events for 3018. So nominally speaking it should be Elidere then the 3018 then the start of the reach contracts and lots of pirate killing.

Now for the other two as I mentioned last month, or august, Luxen was originally basically three separate chapters compressed into one reduced chapter. That was kind of hit or miss, the Rim World thing ended up being a we will come back later to deal with, but not a lot of time was spent on the planet. Now I did say I'd probably end up going back and addressing that, and that will most likely as I said end up with its own thread, that you can read or ignore, but among other changes besides extra content it will incorporate the new dating format.

Lastly, and this is not definitive but there is a good chance that I will be cutting back regular updates for the rest of the year, (November and December), to work on other updates. This will probably mean two sundays a month. That being said I would like to get through Elidere, but once we do start the general pirate killing thats going to last a while most likely, and involve very little in the way of Inner Sphere proper politics. IE won't be showing up again, probably after the actual HBS story campaign is taken care of. Right now Elidere is looking to be if not the last time IE shows up for a while then the last contract with them, and while they may get passing mention in story their screen time will be much reduced until the mid thirty twenties.

 

[Morkail]

He got the book back? How did that happen.

 

[Rodon]

Gene wasn't sure what was going at first. He recognized one of the guys who'd been pulled out of hte rubble. One of the few survivors from a gambling den that had had probably close to four hundred people last time he had checked in with the emergency services on the matter. The man who was missing two fingers on his left hand was holding a book.

Click to shrink...

Ok, so Gene supposedly stole it back off screen (which hasn't been mentioned before in the story) and Ishida was supposedly trying to steal it again? This is one of the weaker sections of the story, I feel that you are leaving way too much out here.

 

[Imperator Pax]

Ok, so Gene supposedly stole it back off screen (which hasn't been mentioned before in the story) and Ishida was supposedly trying to steal it again? This is one of the weaker sections of the story, I feel that you are leaving way too much out here.

Click to shrink...

No Ishida, Hanzo, left his hospital bed and then went and stole the book back because his clan just got bombed by the people who had contracted his oyabun to steal the book in the first place. Basically this is him trying to get into the company on currying favor.,

 

[Rodon]

No Ishida, Hanzo, left his hospital bed and then went and stole the book back because his clan just got bombed by the people who had contracted his oyabun to steal the book in the first place. Basically this is him trying to get into the company on currying favor.,

Click to shrink...

Ok, that makes a lot more sense. The Combine screws over the people who are useful and do things for them, only for it to bite them in the ass. You really need to spell that out more in the story although.

 

[Imperator Pax]

Ok, that makes a lot more sense. The Combine screws over the people who are useful and do things for them, only for it to bite them in the ass. You really need to spell that out more in the story although.

Click to shrink...

I do, I recognize that, and I will be making revisions later, possibly tomorrow, as well as including that in (to reiterate it) in the opening / travel segment for Elidere because hindsight that is kind of a duh, should have made that clearer.