L.08
Daniel Snuts
Know what you're doing yet?
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- Apr 23, 2022
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"Alright, listen up," I tell the assembled Wards. "Yesterday Vista encountered a new parahuman affiliated with the Empire 88. There have been rumors about a new recruit circulating - apparently she goes by 'Low Key' - but this is the first solid info we have. Vista, why don't you tell us what you observed?"
Vista - Missy - stands up and clears her throat. "Alright. I was proceeding down Acker street when I spotted Rune in the distance. She did not move to engage, but dropped off another parahuman and hung back to observe. Said parahuman did approach me, but stopped several yards away and made no hostile moves. She then initiated a conversation."
"Where was Shadow Stalker during this?" I ask, already suspecting what answer I'm going to get.
Missy glances at Sophia. "Shadow Stalker was scouting ahead at the time. Seeing that the parahuman was not hostile she remained at a distance, ready to intervene but not wishing to provoke a fight unnecessarily."
This is obviously a big, steaming heap of bullshit. I would be able to tell even without Dean giving the game away (it's not that his poker face is bad, it's that he only ever wears it when he's trying to hide something).
Scouting ahead? Sophia, not attacking an Empire cape on sight? She clearly ran off on her own again and never even saw Low Key. And Missy is covering for her. They don't even like each other, but you simply don't tattle on a colleague.
I can't even complain, really. I did my fair share of covering before leadership was thrust upon me.
"Console? Can you confirm this sequence of events?" I ask Chris.
Both Missy and Sophia are giving Chris some rather unsubtle glares. "Uh, yeah? That's what happened." I repress a sigh. As console it was his job to keep Sophia on task, and send it up the chain if she refused orders. He was no doubt caught up in some Tinker project or other and completely forgot about his duties. Again.
At least that's an honest fuckup. Unlike Dennis, who deliberately lets Sophia have her way in a misguided attempt to get into her good graces (and/or pants).
"Alright, moving on. Can you summarize your conversation?"
"She, ah, stated that we had no reason for conflict. She admitted to being part of Empire 88, but appeared to consider herself a 'fellow crime fighter'."
"What, like the crime of being black?" Sophia asks sarcastically.
"She claimed to not have committed any hate crimes," Missy says.
"Bullshit."
"We cannot prove otherwise," I interject. "There are no outstanding warrants for Low Key."
"That just means she hasn't gotten caught yet," Sophia insists. "Of course the nazi bitch has done something."
"That's as may be, but we can't arrest people on a charge of 'you've probably done something'. Please continue, Vista. What happened then?"
"I, uh... Since she was a potential future threat but not currently hostile, I challenged her to a friendly contest in order to gather information about her powers."
"That would be the 'spacewarp footrace' that has been making the rounds on the internet all day," Dennis helpfully points out.
Missy blushes slightly. "Uh, yeah."
"I can't believe how much footage there is," he continues. "How much of your patrol did that take up?"
Her blush deepens. "...essentially all of it."
"Console can confirm," Chris says cheerfully.
I make a cutting gesture, indicating that they should stop their teasing. "Please describe her powers."
"She's a Master. Not the scary kind. She has this giant wolf that she rides. I'm not sure how she does it-"
At that phrasing, all eyes in the room turn towards Dennis. "What?" he asks. "You're clearly already thinking 'Dennis is going to say 'doggy style'' - which means it wouldn't be funny if I did." He waves at Missy. "Please, keep telling us about Ilsa, she-wolf of the SS."
I groan and massage my temples. "Dennis..."
"I don't get it," Chris says. "Was that a joke?"
"It was," Dean confirms. "...I don't get it either."
"No, see, the joke is that Carlos clearly got it," Dennis explains, "which tells us amazing things about his taste in movies. Whatever you do, don't google it at work." He leans back in his seat and gives me the smuggest goddamn smirk.
"Are trying to get console duty?" I ask.
"Fucking seriously?" Sophia exclaims. She has her phone out, and is looking at it with a mixture of shock and disgust. "A porno set in the holocaust?"
"I just told you not to google it at work," Dennis says. "Seriously, it would have been so much funnier if everyone found out on their own and came back tomorrow not wanting to be the first to bring it up."
"I didn't watch it," I say defensively, "I just heard about it."
"Uh-huh, yeah, we definitely believe you," Dennis says.
"You realize that you knowing about it is equally damning, right?"
"Yeah, well, only one of us has any dignity to lose."
"Ain't that the truth," Sophia says.
"Two weeks of console duty for inappropriate behavior," I decide.
"I accept your just and unbiased judgement, o fearless leader."
"Should'a just gone with the doggy style joke," Chris tells him.
"Worth it."
I sigh, and gesture for Missy to continue.
"Uh, right. As I was saying, I'm not sure how she does it, but she never once had any trouble directing the wolf. I'd be tempted to say a direct mental link, like it was part of her body. Except she congratulated and petted the wolf when she won a race. Why would you pet something that's part of yourself?"
"Oh god," Dennis says, "right across the plate. I'm already out, someone else lay bat to it."
"We'll explain when you're older, squirt," Sophia says with a less than good-natured smirk.
"Three weeks of console duty," I say. "Each."
Sophia turns to Dennis. "You owe me, Clock."
"Still worth it."
"Your thoughts on threat rating?" I ask Missy over their banter, trying to keep things on track.
"Master 4, sub-rating Brute 4, Thinker 2, Mover 2," she answers crisply. She's obviously thought about it in advance. Sophia scoffs, probably because it's higher than her own rating. I'm inclined to side with Missy, and not just to get this trainwreck of a meeting over with. One thing confuses me, though.
"Thinker 2?" I ask.
"I was able to obtain confirmation that the wolf has superhuman senses."
---
"Sir?" Missy approaches me and stands at attention. "Requesting permission to approach Low Key with the goal of recruiting her into the Wards."
I try not to smile. I know she hates being seen as cute, but boy are her attempts at military bearing backfiring on her in that regard. At least she doesn't try to salute me, I would definitely crack up if she did.
"Permission denied." If Low Key had been hostile, if Vista had been attacked while Shadow Stalker was missing and console was goofing off, that would have been all our asses. I'm not going let her wander into that situation on purpose.
"Please?" She completely abandons her military bearing as she leans forward and deploys puppy dog eyes. "I believe her, you know? About being innocent, I mean. She should be one of us. We have to get her out of there before the Empire makes her do something awful!"
"So you were planning to what, wander around Empire territory looking for her? You can try to message her on PHO or something, but you are not to approach her, understood?"
"But-"
"Permission denied, soldier."
"Sir!" She snaps back to attention, then turns on her heel and marches off.
Vista - Missy - stands up and clears her throat. "Alright. I was proceeding down Acker street when I spotted Rune in the distance. She did not move to engage, but dropped off another parahuman and hung back to observe. Said parahuman did approach me, but stopped several yards away and made no hostile moves. She then initiated a conversation."
"Where was Shadow Stalker during this?" I ask, already suspecting what answer I'm going to get.
Missy glances at Sophia. "Shadow Stalker was scouting ahead at the time. Seeing that the parahuman was not hostile she remained at a distance, ready to intervene but not wishing to provoke a fight unnecessarily."
This is obviously a big, steaming heap of bullshit. I would be able to tell even without Dean giving the game away (it's not that his poker face is bad, it's that he only ever wears it when he's trying to hide something).
Scouting ahead? Sophia, not attacking an Empire cape on sight? She clearly ran off on her own again and never even saw Low Key. And Missy is covering for her. They don't even like each other, but you simply don't tattle on a colleague.
I can't even complain, really. I did my fair share of covering before leadership was thrust upon me.
"Console? Can you confirm this sequence of events?" I ask Chris.
Both Missy and Sophia are giving Chris some rather unsubtle glares. "Uh, yeah? That's what happened." I repress a sigh. As console it was his job to keep Sophia on task, and send it up the chain if she refused orders. He was no doubt caught up in some Tinker project or other and completely forgot about his duties. Again.
At least that's an honest fuckup. Unlike Dennis, who deliberately lets Sophia have her way in a misguided attempt to get into her good graces (and/or pants).
"Alright, moving on. Can you summarize your conversation?"
"She, ah, stated that we had no reason for conflict. She admitted to being part of Empire 88, but appeared to consider herself a 'fellow crime fighter'."
"What, like the crime of being black?" Sophia asks sarcastically.
"She claimed to not have committed any hate crimes," Missy says.
"Bullshit."
"We cannot prove otherwise," I interject. "There are no outstanding warrants for Low Key."
"That just means she hasn't gotten caught yet," Sophia insists. "Of course the nazi bitch has done something."
"That's as may be, but we can't arrest people on a charge of 'you've probably done something'. Please continue, Vista. What happened then?"
"I, uh... Since she was a potential future threat but not currently hostile, I challenged her to a friendly contest in order to gather information about her powers."
Yeah, that's the ticket. I'm a professional. I most certainly did not get caught up in the moment. There was no childlike glee.
"That would be the 'spacewarp footrace' that has been making the rounds on the internet all day," Dennis helpfully points out.
Missy blushes slightly. "Uh, yeah."
"I can't believe how much footage there is," he continues. "How much of your patrol did that take up?"
Her blush deepens. "...essentially all of it."
"Console can confirm," Chris says cheerfully.
I make a cutting gesture, indicating that they should stop their teasing. "Please describe her powers."
"She's a Master. Not the scary kind. She has this giant wolf that she rides. I'm not sure how she does it-"
At that phrasing, all eyes in the room turn towards Dennis. "What?" he asks. "You're clearly already thinking 'Dennis is going to say 'doggy style'' - which means it wouldn't be funny if I did." He waves at Missy. "Please, keep telling us about Ilsa, she-wolf of the SS."
I groan and massage my temples. "Dennis..."
"I don't get it," Chris says. "Was that a joke?"
"It was," Dean confirms. "...I don't get it either."
"No, see, the joke is that Carlos clearly got it," Dennis explains, "which tells us amazing things about his taste in movies. Whatever you do, don't google it at work." He leans back in his seat and gives me the smuggest goddamn smirk.
"Are trying to get console duty?" I ask.
"Fucking seriously?" Sophia exclaims. She has her phone out, and is looking at it with a mixture of shock and disgust. "A porno set in the holocaust?"
"I just told you not to google it at work," Dennis says. "Seriously, it would have been so much funnier if everyone found out on their own and came back tomorrow not wanting to be the first to bring it up."
"I didn't watch it," I say defensively, "I just heard about it."
"Uh-huh, yeah, we definitely believe you," Dennis says.
"You realize that you knowing about it is equally damning, right?"
"Yeah, well, only one of us has any dignity to lose."
"Ain't that the truth," Sophia says.
"Two weeks of console duty for inappropriate behavior," I decide.
"I accept your just and unbiased judgement, o fearless leader."
"Should'a just gone with the doggy style joke," Chris tells him.
"Worth it."
I sigh, and gesture for Missy to continue.
"Uh, right. As I was saying, I'm not sure how she does it, but she never once had any trouble directing the wolf. I'd be tempted to say a direct mental link, like it was part of her body. Except she congratulated and petted the wolf when she won a race. Why would you pet something that's part of yourself?"
"Oh god," Dennis says, "right across the plate. I'm already out, someone else lay bat to it."
"We'll explain when you're older, squirt," Sophia says with a less than good-natured smirk.
"Three weeks of console duty," I say. "Each."
Sophia turns to Dennis. "You owe me, Clock."
"Still worth it."
"Your thoughts on threat rating?" I ask Missy over their banter, trying to keep things on track.
"Master 4, sub-rating Brute 4, Thinker 2, Mover 2," she answers crisply. She's obviously thought about it in advance. Sophia scoffs, probably because it's higher than her own rating. I'm inclined to side with Missy, and not just to get this trainwreck of a meeting over with. One thing confuses me, though.
"Thinker 2?" I ask.
"I was able to obtain confirmation that the wolf has superhuman senses."
"How do you keep doing that?"
"Doing what?"
"Dodging my power! Warps that gentle are practically invisible!"
"I don't know if you've heard, but wolf senses are considerably more acute than human ones."
"Doing what?"
"Dodging my power! Warps that gentle are practically invisible!"
"I don't know if you've heard, but wolf senses are considerably more acute than human ones."
---
"Sir?" Missy approaches me and stands at attention. "Requesting permission to approach Low Key with the goal of recruiting her into the Wards."
I try not to smile. I know she hates being seen as cute, but boy are her attempts at military bearing backfiring on her in that regard. At least she doesn't try to salute me, I would definitely crack up if she did.
"Permission denied." If Low Key had been hostile, if Vista had been attacked while Shadow Stalker was missing and console was goofing off, that would have been all our asses. I'm not going let her wander into that situation on purpose.
"Please?" She completely abandons her military bearing as she leans forward and deploys puppy dog eyes. "I believe her, you know? About being innocent, I mean. She should be one of us. We have to get her out of there before the Empire makes her do something awful!"
"So you were planning to what, wander around Empire territory looking for her? You can try to message her on PHO or something, but you are not to approach her, understood?"
"But-"
"Permission denied, soldier."
"Sir!" She snaps back to attention, then turns on her heel and marches off.
"I have some hot info you may be interested in," you (that is, Quicksilver) tell Faultline.
"Oh?"
"There's a-" crap, what's the PC term for monster cape again? "-a Case 63?"
"You mean Case 53?" She gestures towards Gregor.
"Right, a Case 53 in town that you don't know about."
"A potential recruit?"
"No. Not a chance."
"Then I don't see why I should-"
"I will pay for this information," Gregor interrupts. "You may take the cost of this session out of my next paycheck," he tells Faultline, who shrugs in response. His money, his business.
"Gallant," you say.
"Of the Wards?" Faultline asks, her disbelief evident in her voice. "What does he look like underneath the armor?"
It's your turn to shrug. You of course know that he looks perfectly human in street clothes. But while you may personally be a giant walking violation of the unwritten rules, you're not about to share the love.
"How do you know?" Faultline asks. "If you are able to convey it in English, that is," she adds archly.
"They're color coded for my convenience," you say with a smile. "You, me, every other parahuman I've seen, our powers all have the same color. And texture. Except it's not really texture texture-" Faultline motions you to get on with it. "Right. Everyone except Gregor, Newter and Gallant. Those three are different in both color and texture. But they're the same as each other. As far as I can tell, there are only two kinds of parahuman."
"What's your sample size?" Faultline asks.
"Uh, twenty-ish? Twenty five? Less than thirty, at any rate." There were a lot more capes than that in Ottawa, but you weren't really paying attention then. Were some of them off-color? Almost certainly. You don't remember.
Not that you could tell Faultline about that, regardless. Quicksilver never went to Ottawa. But speaking of Ottawa, another thought occurs to you.
"If it helps, I'm almost certain that it's a case of a non-standard power causing non-standard biology, not the other way around. I mean, most people probably think that, but I'm the expert saying they're right."
"I was not born a snail?" Gregor asks, clearly confused as to why you'd feel the need to specify something like that.
"Well, yeah. Not many snail people around. But I meant you weren't born with some congenital brain issue that messed up your trigger event." Dragon has a regular power, after all, and she's a robot. Hard to get more non-standard biology than that.
---
When Kid Win's power burns itself into your soul you literally fall out of your chair in surprise (you were admittedly tipping said chair back dangerously to get a better viewing angle, since you're sitting in the same row today). That's ridiculous! That can't have been more than - you do some mental math as you pick yourself back up - eight-ish hours of study time? There's no way you should be able to get it right that quickly.
Maybe if you had been sleeping at night like a sane person, you wouldn't have been too groggy to notice how unreasonably well it was going. You could have spared yourself a bit of pain and a lot of embarrassment.
You're not sure how useful it will be, really. You already have Dragon's Tinker power, which was like ten times as hard to learn. Even if difficulty doesn't map directly to power level, there must surely be some correlation, right?
You'll take it, though. You've lost count of how many times you've been stabbed in pursuit of Cricket's power, you'll happily accept a bruised tailbone in exchange for a mostly redundant Tinker boost.
You surreptitiously activate the power to see if it gives you any neat ideas. If Kid Win can think Tinker-thoughts in class, so can you.
Well, now you know exactly how the mechanical pencil in your hand works. That's neat, you guess. You never paid enough attention to pencils before to notice that you didn't really know how they worked. Now you're pretty sure you could build a pencil factory on your own. No ideas for building a pencil-cannon or a graphite laser or anything, though.
You slip your hand into your pocket and touch your cellphone. Wow, cellphones are complicated. Radio frequencies, voice compression algorithms and chemicals for etching circuit boards march across your brain. And you finally figured out how to make it stop suggesting that you upload every picture you take to social media!
Wait, social media? You fall out of your chair again as a tide of internet-related technical knowledge washes over your brain like a tsunami. Clearly, mental discipline is required when using this... industry and forge wisdom... around connected devices.
Still no tinkertech ideas, though. All his power did was to make you even more of a Tinker 0. Looks like it's still orichalcum or bust, if you want to go beyond the bounds of conventional science (you stifle an inappropriate giggle when you realize that you did in fact bring your bust beyond the bounds of conventional science, didn't you?).
Seriously, though. You really should decide what to make with your orichalcum. It doesn't do any good just lying around un-forged. The problem is that you don't have the time to forge anything right now, much less use the result in some clever new scheme.
The day passes without any further surprises. You catch a brief nap after school, then it's off to enact your old clever scheme, that of getting stabbed by Cricket a lot.
Or not, as it turns out. Cricket has finally gotten fed up with your complete inability to learn martial arts even on pain of large amounts of pain, and passes you back to Hookwolf. Oh goody, broken bones incoming.
And once you finally get Cricket's power working you're still not done here, because Othala is next. Your schemes are so clever.
---
Turns out that your (highly publicized - your classmates have been talking about it all week) encounter with Vista counts as a cape fight, as least as far as getting paid by the Empire is concerned. You did technically keep a cape from a hostile faction out of their territory. If you squint a bit you could even spin it as a taxing battle that lasted for hours.
Maybe next time you'll challenge Clockblocker to a dance-off.
"For, uh, dedicated service to the Empire," the bartender says.
Well, if you get paid, Fenrir gets paid. That's the rule you settled on. You find whatsisname, the delivery guy. Eric, right! "Please have another sheep ready on Monday," you tell him.
The other patrons are also talking about your exploits, you realize: "Who knew that Vista's secret weakness was her bedtime?" "I can't believe Low Key solved a problem without violence." "I know, right? Do you think she's been Mastered?"
"You shouldn't talk about Low Key like that," Rune calls from the doorway. She pauses for a beat. "She might beat you up."
===
Taylor: All-encompassing Sorcerer's Sight, ???
Tattletale: Know the Soul's Price
Bitch: Spirit-Tied Pet
Aegis: Ox-Body Technique
Browbeat: Shaping the Ideal Form
Dragon: Implicit Construction Methodology
Kid Win: Industry and Forge Wisdom
Tattletale: Know the Soul's Price
Bitch: Spirit-Tied Pet
Aegis: Ox-Body Technique
Browbeat: Shaping the Ideal Form
Dragon: Implicit Construction Methodology
Kid Win: Industry and Forge Wisdom
If you have no idea what Industry and Forge Wisdom does, I don't blame you. It's from that least beloved of splats, the Mountain Folk ('Mary Sue Dwarves', for you non-exalted fans).
It calls on their connection to Autochton ('Elder God of Technology') to give a modest dice bonus to all interactions with mechanical and/or magical objects. In the Wormverse, that probably shakes out as a side-channel to Dragon's shard or something.
I wanted an appropriately weak charm for Kid Win (it will make artifact crafting roughly twice as fast going forward - compare to Dragon's charm that shook out to an 8000x multiplier), that would nevertheless have appropriate fluff for also letting Taylor maintain regular tinkertech (though she doesn't know that part yet).
It calls on their connection to Autochton ('Elder God of Technology') to give a modest dice bonus to all interactions with mechanical and/or magical objects. In the Wormverse, that probably shakes out as a side-channel to Dragon's shard or something.
I wanted an appropriately weak charm for Kid Win (it will make artifact crafting roughly twice as fast going forward - compare to Dragon's charm that shook out to an 8000x multiplier), that would nevertheless have appropriate fluff for also letting Taylor maintain regular tinkertech (though she doesn't know that part yet).