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Cooking Thread~ Recipes & Things

Oh right forgot that most of you guys are Westerners. My sincere condolences for being unable to enjoy proper asparagus.
 
does anyone here make fermented food?
I make about two gallons of yogurt a month and an absurd amount of sauerkraut every year.

With the yogurt, an instant pot's 'yogurt' setting is amazing - I set it to 104F for 30 hours and let it go. I started with a sachet of progurt, but after that you can just keep using your leftover yogurt to start the next batch.

I have an enormous sauerkraut crock that holds ~8 shredded cabbages; if you're just getting started, I would instead recommend a gallon glass jar with a lid that accepts a fermentation lock - the water-seal on the crocks will dry out if you don't pay attention.
 
I am also a homebrewer if that counts
Beer or wine? I've never tried to make beer, but we have enough muscadine vines to make ~150 bottles of wine a year. I'll need to start harvesting in the next week or two.


Edited to not dox myself.

I've always been surprised that it isn't more popular; muscadines are extremely hardy and disease resistant, tolerate a wide range of soils, and are impervious to the southern heat. I know someone with a real vineyard who grows a bunch of French wine grapes, and he has to be extremely careful about the soil PH, pests, and the summer heat. Muscadines require a fraction of the effort.

The grapes themselves are enormous, candy-sweet, extremely fruity and intensely aromatic. The thick skins are also packed with flavor.


(Not mine - taken from a plant nursery's site)
 
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Beer or wine? I've never tried to make beer, but we have enough muscadine vines to make ~150 bottles of wine a year. I'll need to start harvesting in the next week or two.
Mead primarily, then beer and cider as well. I enjoy lots of small experimental batches, where I make things that basically unavailable (I make Bochets for Christmas, they are very nice when spiced)
 
I make Bochets for Christmas
Had to look that one up - I've never actually heard of bochet before. It certainly sounds good!

Speaking of caramel, after making a batch of caramel sauce from scratch, I have become completely ruined for anything proclaiming to be 'caramel flavored'.

Most 'caramel' is HFCS with food dye and flavoring; the real thing has an incredible depth of flavor.

(Also, if you make caramel sauce at home, be EXTREMELY CAREFUL. Cooks call this stuff 'kitchen napalm' for a reason; getting boiling water on you is bad enough, but caramel is much denser, sticks to you, and is over 300F. That's a lot of thermal energy! Instant 3rd-degree burns.)
 
I've always been surprised that it isn't more popular; muscadines are extremely hardy and disease resistant, tolerate a wide range of soils, and are impervious to the southern heat. I know someone with a real vineyard who grows a bunch of French wine grapes, and he has to be extremely careful about the soil PH, pests, and the summer heat. Muscadines require a fraction of the effort.

The grapes themselves are enormous, candy-sweet, extremely fruity and intensely aromatic. The thick skins are also packed with flavor.
As someone else who lives in a muscadine-producing region (I don't currently grow them myself -- Mom wanted passionfruit instead), I fully agree. Muscadines are awesome.

Scuppernongs, too.

The lack of a seedless variety is my only complaint, such as it is.

Lots of fun history RE why they're looked down on as wine grapes, though. And, well, fruit wines in general are fun. Are you familiar with Schnebly Redland's?
 
The lack of a seedless variety is my only complaint, such as it is.
Can you really claim to love muscadines if you don't eat the seeds? Next you're going to tell me you don't eat the peach pit. Crunch crunch crunch crunch

Lots of fun history RE why they're looked down on as wine grapes, though. And, well, fruit wines in general are fun. Are you familiar with Schnebly Redland's?
At one point muscadine wine was the most popular wine in the states. Prohibition put an end to that.

Never heard of Schnebly Redland's; that's quite a bit south of me.
 
At one point muscadine wine was the most popular wine in the states. Prohibition put an end to that.

Never heard of Schnebly Redland's; that's quite a bit south of me.
I mean, it's south of me, and far enough that it's not a casual trip. I know about them because they make really interesting stuff. If you're talking about winemaking... well, they make avocado wine. They make lychee wine. They make mango wine. They make... well, you get the idea. Starfruit? Guava? Passionfruit? Pineapple? Yeah, they've done all of 'em.

If their product wasn't so expensive these days (it's like doubled or tripled in price since the pandemic), I'd experiment with cooking with some of them. It'd be fun.
 
Most 'caramel' is HFCS with food dye and flavoring; the real thing has an incredible depth of flavor.
It's annoying how many products with a specific thing for a name turn out to be some combo of flavoring and dye. Like Wasabi. It's never actual wasabi, it's horseradish with dye, flavoring, and a miniscule amount (like 1,6% at best) of actual Wasabi.
 
One thing I like to do for breakfast is an impromptu pizza dip/cheese melt with tomato sauce.

To start off, on a non-stick pan I heat strips of turkey salami for a while, before adding the olive oil. Then I add the spices (black pepper, red pepper flakes, paprika and dry thyme) and mix it.

After waiting for a while to get the salami and spices familiar with each other, I then add the tomato sauce and mix it again. Then I add the tomato paste, doing the same.

I finally add the cheese into the mixture, stirring it until it melts completely.
 
I mean, it's south of me, and far enough that it's not a casual trip. I know about them because they make really interesting stuff. If you're talking about winemaking... well, they make avocado wine. They make lychee wine. They make mango wine. They make... well, you get the idea. Starfruit? Guava? Passionfruit? Pineapple? Yeah, they've done all of 'em.

If their product wasn't so expensive these days (it's like doubled or tripled in price since the pandemic), I'd experiment with cooking with some of them.
Like Bochet, the unit economics of fruit and vegetable wines are always going to be scuffed at least to some extent
But there's also the vicious cycle of: niche product -> low sales -> a few sellers, disproportionately hobbyists selling relatively small amounts -> no economies of scale -> high price per unit/low availability-> product remains niche

Anyway, this is why, if you want a winter warmer acerbochet, you have to make it yourself
 
Like Bochet, the unit economics of fruit and vegetable wines are always going to be scuffed at least to some extent
But there's also the vicious cycle of: niche product -> low sales -> a few sellers, disproportionately hobbyists selling relatively small amounts -> no economies of scale -> high price per unit/low availability-> product remains niche

Anyway, this is why, if you want a winter warmer acerbochet, you have to make it yourself
Note my phrasing: "these days." Also note my why here: the prices have increased dramatically in the last few years. The cycle you're mentioning is largely irrelevant.
 
Simple filling meal - hellhound_dow New
Simple filling meal.

1x 1 pound ground beef
1x box Rice-a-Roni Beef (if you can't find beef, substitute the chicken or broccoli chedder flavor instead and pick up some beef bouillon cubes as well.)
1x 16oz pack of frozen english peas and carrots mix.

Brown the ground beef in a skillet. If a lot of grease, drain some of it. Mix in the rice with the beef, add 2.5 cups water, then stir in seasoning (If beef flavor. If not crumble 2 beef bouillon cubes into it instead). Mix in peas and carrots. Bring to a boil, then cover and reduce heat to low. Simmer 15 minutes or until rice is to desired tenderness.

Takes about half an hour to make and feeds 4 people.
 
A Mean Pancake Recipe - Citrus New
I make a mean pancake(crepes to the uncultured) and here is my recipe, scaled according to how healthy you want to make it;
-1 dl of flour for every egg, double that for milk, add some salt and you've got your base, you can make pancakes out of this.
--Now add 1 teaspoon (5ml) of potato flour(/starch) for every egg to ensure the pancakes do not break when you flip them.
---Add some cinnamon(ceylon ideally) to get that nice "cooking pancake" smell going and add some ginger/cardamom to taste.
----Crush some flax seeds/pumpkin seeds to powder and add them to your batter, it adds some fiber and is good for you. Pumpkin seeds even make them taste sweeter.
-----If you want your pancakes to crunch a little bit when you bite them for some reason, add some chia/poppy seeds to your batter. It also adds some more fiber.
------Change out the flour for a gluten free variant, like chickpea/buckwheat flour. Compensate for the lack of gluten with more potato flour(/starch).
And that's it! You've got pancake batter now! All you gotta do now is spend the next hour frying it.
But this is a recipe so I'm gonna pretend you've already done that, so that bring us to condiments! What do you put on your pancakes(crepes)!
-Sweetener! WHY IS THIS UP HERE!? Some sweeteners are alright and are better than what's below. Some sweeteners (that cannot crystalize like sugar) come packaged dusted onto filler material such as maltodextrin. Maltodextrin has GI index median of 99, sugar is a straight 100. Maltodextrin can be worse than actual sugar depending on the person. Do not eat it if you're trying to be healthy.
--Sugar! Old classic, can't go wrong with it.
---Syrup! Another classic, Ideally maple syrup but if you're desperate any will do.
----Jam! You can change the fruit according to taste!
-----Chocolate! Just grate it over your pancake, can adjust the sweetness according to what kinda chocolate you like.
------Erythritol! A kind of sugar alcohol sweetener, that probably has no side effects at all! besides the laxative effect.
-------Xylitol! Like maple syrup, this stuff is made of tree blod! Unlike maple syrup, it's actually good for your teeth.
--------Butter! Just butter!
---------NOTHING! ONLY PANCAKE!
 
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Anybody got some good gluten-free recipes? I can't have gluten anymore. Which is unfortunate. I miss donuts and fried foods!
 
Anybody got some good gluten-free recipes? I can't have gluten anymore. Which is unfortunate. I miss donuts and fried foods!
I don't got many recipes besides the gluten free variant of the pancake recipe I posted above but I can introduce you to the grand and incredible world of BEANS.
You got chickpeas! good with rice. You got navy beans! Good with rice. You got black beans! Good With Rice. You got Mung beans! excellent for veggies! You got Kidney beans! awesome with Meat!
You also got Green lentils, Red lentils, Yellow lentils, Beluga lentils, PUY LENTILS! They all go well together with one another! And rice!
The best part is they're all really healthy too!

There's also buckwheat if you want something that tastes like wheat but isn't full of gluten. But it's not bean so watevs.
 
Does anyone have suggestions/recipies/advise for bread pudding (or really any dessert with a primary ingredient of old bread)
I experimented by making sourdough with the addition of ground yellow split peas, and it didn't work out how I planned.
 
Anybody got some good gluten-free recipes? I can't have gluten anymore. Which is unfortunate. I miss donuts and fried foods!
The internet is your friend here, as there are cultures that don't work with wheat as the main source of carbs and protein, like the ones reliant on corn, rice, and starchy roots.

I recommend www.epicurious.com visited through a desktop or laptop, as they implemented subscription forced blockades to anyone using a smartphone.

Also www.bonappetit.com has a good selection of recipes, also under a similar paywall for smartphone users.

As for recipes that would work for you?

There's an African recipe for rice crackers that uses regular rice for it, you can find it online or at youtube. The cook in question tosses in salt, pepper, hot peppers, and bashes the cooked rice with a pistil in her mortar until it becomes a sticky dough that can be thinly spread in between plastic sheets before removing said plastic sheets, cutting to size frying the slices to make chips.

Good enough to keep in a jar or bag to eat later on, too.

Now, the question is, is your gluten intolerance also extended to oats?

In between rice, potato and corn starches, corn flour, nixtamalized corn flour (has more available amino-acids than regular corn flour/meal, but has a different flavor in exchange), corn yellow meal for polenta, potatoes, beets, carrots, and many roots? You can make very neat stuff in myriad ways pan-fried, deep-fried, or baked/vapor-boiled.

Latin-American tamale? Made with nixtamalized corn flour, peppers, hot peppers, meat, seasonings, stock, and depending on recipe can even be made a dessert. This one is cooked using vapor normally, but an oven can be used as well from personal experience.

It can also be enriched with other flours and ingredients for a different texture and sustenance depending on what's available for you.

Or have added vegetables and herbs to make them a whole meal in themselves. I favor cabbage and other greens while mixing in some whole oatmeal to change its glicemic index towards a heartier meal than it would otherwise be.

The 'pache', a mashed potato-and-nixtamalized corn dough tamale with a pepper and tomato sauce, hot pepper, and meat.

Then there's the atole, which is also made with nixtamalized corn flour for extra protein availability.

I've seen success baking paches and tamales inside pyrex molds, though it is needed to cover them in plantain leaves to ensure that they don't dry out.

Rice dough can be vapor-cooked in a way similar to Chinese dumplings, and with diverse fillings too.

Beets? Thinly sliced, lightly salted, then patted with a towel? You can have beet chips that are savory. Same with carrots.

But donuts? Oats may hold your answer ... so long as you can tolerate their slight gluten content. If not? Well, there's a reason why cooking without gluten can be an ordeal if you don't have enough variety in your local marketplace for glutinous carb sources to ape the texture of gluten.

And even that doesn't last once refrigerated.

I hope this post helps you out! ;)

Edit:
Does anyone have suggestions/recipies/advise for bread pudding (or really any dessert with a primary ingredient of old bread)
I experimented by making sourdough with the addition of ground yellow split peas, and it didn't work out how I planned.
Use alcoholic drinks like whiskey, rum, or moonshine to make a sauce to either drizzle over them, or use straight as part of the egg, milk, sugar and salt mixture to cook them with.

Here's an example of a recipe using rum:

https://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/bread-pudding-with-spiced-rum-sauce-105700

It all comes down to what you have available, 'cause even without the liquor it is still a simple, tasty hearty treat.
 
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